Lets talk about guilt | Anita Moorjani - Speaker & Best Selling Author
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 เม.ย. 2019
- Have you ever felt guilty for having fun, or for being happy when you know that someone you love isn't? I sure have!
In this video I share part of my story that led up to me getting cancer, and guilt was a large part of it.
I talk about learning to recognize when guilt is being triggered, why guilt isn't a healthy state to stay in, and how to let the guilt go. I talk about why doing things for others out of guilt is never truly beneficial to others, or ourselve and I also share helpful steps for the process of moving from guilt into a more empowered energy and life.
Some of the question I answered are:
- Why can't people accept it when I choose to be myself and take care of myself instead of always being a doormat?
- How do I set boundaries with abusive parents without feeling guilty?
- What feelings can we replace guilt with?
If you find something which you think will benefit somebody you know, please send them this video or a link to this video. Please remember to Subscribe to my channel if you haven't already done so.
If you want to watch the show live, you can find it on anitamoorjani.com/facebook every Sunday at 12 noon Pacific / 3pm Eastern / 8pm GMT
With love
Anita ❤️❤️
anitamoorjani.com/nde-cdb
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Guilt had a huge part in my life coming from a Catholic religion. I have been wondering all my life if I was on the right path, good enough, perfect enough and felt not enough for many years. I wish every human being to come up in contact at a younger age with your teachings. My total gratitude to you Anita.
Thank you for gently deconstructing negative patterns that we’ve grown up with. Thank you for the work you do! 💖
I feel guilty for self care, yet I care for others…and my house is spotless..yet my soul is often confused and lonely….I “needed” to be sick for years and was in and out of hospital…after reading Louise Hay…I learned about releasing the need for illness..This!….is spot on.I deserve to be well….I am working SO hard on this….Thank you.I am enough..as I am.Thank you Anita🙏💗🙏
Anita is quite simply one of the most beautiful bright lights on the planet. I have been watching her videos for close to a year now and they have prepared me perfectly for this moment. I recently received a diagnosis (early stage, no symptoms, but I felt compelled to take myself to the hospital after a dream and a perceptive doctor took a second look at me and ordered a scan) and feel myself full of the joy of healing before I've even had surgery. The gentle lessons taught by Anita (as well as those of Dr. Dyer, Louise Hay, Joe Dispenza, Greg Braden, Bruce Lipton and Mingtong Gu) have shown me that I can heal myself holistically and through self-love and a clear mind and heart. Wishing everyone here health and happiness, especially for those of us who grew up dealing with family members who hurled abuse, were addicted and mentally ill. Thank you, Anita and also Danny! xo
This video came in a decisive point in my life to be myself or what others expect from me. It was the answer of my prayer to god, source. Thank you Anita
Now I feel guilty for feeling guilty... ;-)
This guilt thing is a real trap, right?! Those of us who grew up in a very dysfunctional family and went through a toxic relationship are just sooo used to this heavy feeling.:(
Thankyou so much for the great work you do! I feel it helps to regain sanity!
blessings from Germany:-)
I highly recommend reading Thich Nhat Hanh's "the heart of the buddhas teachings." It's a great one. : )
@@ShimmerBodyCream thankyou dear one.💌
Yes the dysfunctional family left its mark, and those in my life who were hurt passed it to me. The buck has to stop here with us so we don't pass it on to those we love. We need love to heal ourselves and stop this dark cloud. "I see you as God sees you, whole and well."
@@bonnieclark8069 thankyou.💝 yes, love heals everything... Even the darkest of dark, God loves unconditionally and carries us through.
Thank you Anita for sharing this about guilt. Being a reformed doormat I have lived a life of guilt! Always not sure now how to handle this crippling aspect of my personality. But you have helped me so much and I am always grateful 🙏🏼 I love your way and feel so blessed I follow you. Namaste 🧡🧡🧡🧡
Hi Anita, this is Ted, your videos are making a huge difference with me.
I had that same sigh of relief when I had cancer cause I thought finally I have an excuse to not take care of everyone but unfortunately I didnt take the opportunity to care for myself. I kept taking care of everyone else. Now I'm dealing with another serious issue and I cut my family off only for a month, cause I didn't want to make the same mistake twice but they are harrassing me and it's making me so sad. I finally draw some boundaries but no one is listening. My family is also sick so I do feel guilt but how can one sick person help another. I've been taking care of these sick people for over a decade. thanks for this talk. xo
I paused the video at 13.10 mins in to it to let that last sentence sink in. "It's keeping me small and preventing me from being who I came here to be." The number of times I've allowed guilt to wreck my day. I now know I came here to this world to create music. It's what I do - it's not my day job but it's what I do. It's taken me years to feel ok about it and shed the guilt and anxiety which led me to do what others expected of me rather than what I truly desired. I read your book, (and the things Wayne referred to in his book) and it was a revelation. Through listening to you and others (Wayne Dyer, Gregg Braden, Joe Dispenza, Sadhguru, Osho, Neale Donald Walsch, Bruce Lipton) my eyes have been truly opened. When I compose music I'm at my best when I improvise as I am truly in the moment and completely free. It's not me playing the guitar, it's my soul and I play whatever comes to mind. This is true liberation and freedom. Money cannot buy this feeling. And thanks you, and those others, I have really started to "close the gap" (as Joe Dispenza describes it) between who you really are, versus the face you show to the world - and I can now enjoy making music in a way I never could before. I even wrote an instrumental piece inspired by this "When I Awake" . Anita, long may your words continue to inspire those who choose to listen. Thankyou.
I have been unwell with a flu then several colds and then sick bug for total of two months now... Got no energy left to do anything anymore. I have been putting myself not only second but probably about fifth in my life :( Your words ring so true to me... it’s hard to change... feels like I need to rearrange my whole life again which right now just feels too exhausting. I feel if only I had lots more energy and then I could fix my relationship, my problems, be better at work, make more money, look after my pets better, clean my house better and make it prettier... And as you say, it all keeps me so small. Thank you for your words ❤️
It’s so nice to see you today. I always feel so much peaceful to hear your voice .....
Hi Anitha, Kavitha from Chennai, India. Your vedio 'Turning Guilt into Gratitude', helped me view the new perception. I started giving myself my space. This vedio again showers in clarity. 💕🙏
FELING GRATITUDE FOR THIS
Oh, Anita, this video is so amazing! Thank you for your strength and your encouragement to end abusive relationships. Your life does depend on staying away from these relationships. I have left many of them in the past and it truly saved my life. Thank you for this powerful, loving and important message! I love you Anita! You are changing the world!
Excellent, as usual! Thank you for your strength, your honesty, and your gently bold and clear messages-you are beautiful, uplifting, and are an inspiration on so many levels! Shine bright Anita! I will shine with you! LOVE!
Thank you so much Anita for all of your videos ❤️ I found your book Dying To Be Me and the accompanying meditation CD back in 2012 just before an ex boyfriend’s mother had asked to see me when she moved into a hospice and was dying of lung cancer. I was diagnosed with invasive melanoma last October. I got busy with radical diet changes and was very fearful for the first 6-7 months. Then one day, I noticed your book on my bookshelf. I googled you and found your videos. They have been a great help and support for me. I resonate with what you say. I am a people pleaser too, and have started to make big changes by facing my fear and starting to take care of me first instead of putting everyone ahead of me. I just wanted to share to let you know that what you do is making a big positive difference in my life and my journey. Love and blessings to you and Danny ❤️ And on a side note, I love your unicorn mug you had in one of your videos.
Very important. When you say you were "programmed" to feel guilty, I thought of the social dimension of the problem. It's important that we free ourselves from what enslaves us. And what enslaves us may come in a big part from the unhealthy relation between the social and psychological worlds. Most of the current societies are based on unequalities, and therefore imprison us in an hegelian master-slave relation. Individually, it's important we learn how to go beyond that destructive relation. So thank you !
After listening to this, I realize how much guilt ruled my life. 😱 I’m going to watch out for that..I’m going to replace guilt driven choices with love directed choices. It’s ironic how we are trained & motivated by guilt & shame.. This message is powerful & liberating. I give myself permission to be BIG. ✨🤩✨🌟💫
Being YOU inspire of judgements of being unloving is my greatest lesson in life I am now learning once again.. being braver and stronger later in life♥️
Hi Anita, very grateful for your light and wisdom, great as always.Lots of love from Poland 😘
Great Thanks from Dallas Texas! Please continue with your videos. Your are a bright light in a dark world and showing ppl how to break through the vail
Dear Anita, You brought up a very important matter and called for all of us to take good care for ourself, without needing or requiring an illness. Guilt is also my long-life companion and I am learning to shake it off. My very dear 94 year old mother passed over a year ago...and I am still struggling to take care of myself, to focus on me, to “self-love” without feeling guilty. Please continue to visit this topic and expand your talk on a regular basis. Much Appreciation!
I was literally just reading and searching for articles on "mommy guilt" I hoped over to TH-cam to check any new videos before I turned in for the night and saw this! Thank you sooo sooo sooo much Anita this helped me with other guilt programming I had before "mommy guilt" I will use the skills you just laid out for us. Thank you
Dear Anita accidentally saw your vedeos..it hellped me very much...thank you so much...
Thank you< Anita! This was SUPREMELY helpful! As you were saying, recognizing guilt is the first step. When you are a caretaker, you may not be living the life you'd like during that time. 10 years ago, I took care of my mother who had terminal cancer, and I put my life on hold. I didn't recognize that I was feeling guilt for not desiring to be her caretaker even though I loved her. The hospice nurse freed me of this guilt when she said, " It isn't your mother that you want to be gone; it's the situation. " What a relief to know that it is okay not to enjoy the circumstances you are in even though you choose to be there. There are so many layers of guilt. It IS tricky to discern when and how to care for yourself and discern what is selfishness, what feelings are guilt and what are not. Thank you for talking about this crucially important topic!!!!
You are such a lovely lady, Anita. Not wonder you had the miraculous cure and the enlightenment that accompanied it. Now please don't start feeling gully for that😅. I feel so protective towards you. But then I am also an empath.
Anita, there's none other than you who deserves all that you have received. Never ever feel guilty and continue with the work that you came here to do.
When you are flying, you can help much other people, wow 🙌
Thank you so much for helping✨🙏
I am recovering from brain injuries that I received from an accident, well I look good In the outside so people think I am good, they expect for me to do the same things I used to do, and I still put myself in situations I shouldn’t but when I do that I get very sick for days I don’t know how to say no, because all my life I was the go to girl. So I understand
Isn't it amazing that we have to 'look sick' to be believed! ...until someone else, unfortunately, ends up in the same situation & soon understands. Teaches us to listen to others better, too, though.
So, I just took care of me anyway regardless of their disbelief &, sometimes, anger for not doing what they wanted. You get used to it even though it's weird. Interesting who peels away & who sticks around. Go for it! Start saying 'No, I can tell it would be too much for me'. I know I feel loads better for it! Too, it turned into a relief for the pushy ones to go away, really.
My case is looooong term elder parent dementia care but essentially same reactions from others because I'm 'not the one who is sick' but people have no clue how much it wares the caregiver down. Still, I'm not going to end up in an ambulance like other caregivers if I can help it. I say 'no' A LOT, eat super nutritious foods, but could sleep more. My bod is still taking a hit after 15+ years of heavy stress but I do what I can & not what I can't....except paperwork I can't escape.....
Hang in there.
YOU ARE WORTH SELF CARE JUST AS MUCH AS THE AMOUNT YOU WANT TO PLEASE OTHERS. More, frankly.
With you!
How true! Guilt keeps you small. It's not uncommon in a traditional culture such as in Asia especially for women. Like you, I was raised in an Asian culture. My mom put everyone first so she was always tired and cranky. I rarely saw her smile growing up. I unknowingly learned it, too. Culturally, Asian women are raised to be people pleasers and put everyone first; we women are taught that we are not important and I learned that too. I am learning to unlearn these behaviors and scarcity thinking habits.
Wow! That’s profound !! Thanks for being so clear and open! What a blessing to hear such a story.
Your story makes me want see beyond fear.
I wish I could know that fear is just illusion 10years ago.
thank you Anita. very useful!
I think some people do make others feel guilty on purpose because it gives them a feeling of power over others. They also use third parties, e.g. children or elderly people, to guilt-trip their chosen ones, claiming that you are hurting *that* person (as opposed to simply not doing what the guilt-tripper wants).
Such great topics you discussion. 😊❤️✨Looking at the world and noticing what topics we need to address and guidance to have better understanding, to live more loving and fulfilling lives ❤️❤️❤️✨💫 Much love my darlin
I am dealing with negative feelings and suicidal thoughts and I am a doormat! I never ever ever loved myself! Am listening to you and it’s so helpful
This is so clear and freeing! Thank you Anita for this profound truth. 💜
I come from a long legacy of women who don’t feel it’s ok to have fun. It literally killed all the women in my family at an early age. ~ With myself. I notice how I have all kinds of medical reasons to go easy on myself. But I have people around me who do not accept my limitations. They want me to perform like a machine & get very angry & hostile when I say, “ sorry, not this time”. ~ Unfortunately at this time I am so exhausted, I am disappointing many people around me, who cannot see I’ve run out of fuel .. and I cannot be the superhero I used to be. ~ At this time, I am working with my pet dog who is struggling with a medical crisis - it’s my job to be his round the clock nurse. 🐶🤔🤷🏻♀️ He’s my best friend, so I’m trying to pull him through ! ~ Best Wishes, to you ❤️🥰🌻💞💌👋🏼
Well done Anita! Amazing talk. Really need it. Many blessings! ❤
My husband has stage 4 cancer right now, and I could so relate, I even feel guilty about not being a good enough support person, like he could do better
I am feeling the same as Bonnie. hope she got ok now.
I am the next one. following you. Bonnie and Anita!
Such a beautiful talk, Anita!! Thank you 💞 My experience with guilt has been such, lately, that has become a part of my navigation system. I know now that what feels like been blamed is my inner healer pointing at what deserves a deeper look, what is asking for more comprehension. If I sit quietly with guilt, I can see pass it and find the question that wants to be asked hiding behind it. Usually that question is as mine as it is theirs, so what starts like a negative feeling ends up guiding me in the direction of my wiser self. Guilt, I think, comes from disowning the limits of our understanding. Once I let curiosity sit in instead, I don't feel threatened or accused anymore by other people's projections.
Hi Anita. Good morning from Pune. Guilt has literally eaten me up as I was a doormat for people who said they loved me. And have done things that now has taken a big toll on my health. And due to that I wasn't my 100% for my kids. But now I have taken responsibility for my own life and health and stopped indulging in guilt. Even if it means many don't like the new ME. Now I have boundaries that conserve and preserve my energies. Love this video as it totally resonated with me. Love you my Dearest Angel. 💖💖💖💖
Wow, amazing that’s what it took for you to give yourself permission to take care of yourself.
We could be kinder to ourselves.
Thanks for the message.
Beautiful topic Anita, I love how you presented on this issue that can be so paralyzing. Part of my thinks that it would be helpful for folks to refine the word Guilt to language that is more accurate. Guilt is so loaded with so much "pre-programming" that implies we are somehow bad or flawed. As I listened to you, what came up for me was "feeling unworthy" (or unjustified guilt) to care for yourself. True guilt or justified Guilt in my mind is intentionally knowing the wrong you are doing. I think nobody intentionally sets out to hurt others when they are seeking to be their authentic self. Authentic self is actively loving oneself in a way that allows us to be who we are at our core. Love this topic, thanks for sharing!
It reminds me of the word self- hatred. This is by far one of the most destructive emotion to overcome. It stems from our cultural and social conditioning. Religion plays a large responsibility in this regard. Shame and guilt are taught from an early age as a mechanism of control. Thank you Anita for showing light on this subject.
Thanks for your message 🌸
How people who has chronic illness keep their motivation up?
I feel myself very small,weak, unuseful 😔And my anxiety is how long this chronic illness lasts,,,,,,
My Son just passed and He comes to me ... others are in great grief ..I am too I miss his touch but I know he is connected to me love never dies. I have gone on with life others still paralyzed in grief. I need to heal Internally but I am healing in life all Alone . he was the greatest physical loss in my life. He passed at a young age of 48 years old. I want his memory alive he is communicating to me yet others are stuck in a different kind of grief. I feel guilt they are stuck and I am going on in life 💗🌸 They don’t want to hear of my seeing him. Communicating with him etc. He is writing a book through me and looking lovingly over his children.💕♥️🙏🌈
Thank you! I like your perspective!
Thank you for these talks :)
First i want to come out of guilt of hearing you half by sharing it with you.But want to share with you that your NDE has educated me a lot regarding Divine presence everywhere
Thank you sooooo much for addressing this! I am so grateful for all the effort you and Danny Put forth. This is one of few places I feel I can come that helps me refocus.
I can not tell you how perfect it is, that I am hearing this now. You may as well be speaking directly to me. Thank you so much.
Thank you Anita, for helping me identify what I need to unpack from my backpack today! Much Gratitude...
after I had my second daughter I was very sick complicated story, but it was an infection. I was caring for a toddler and a newborn, and I felt guilt to ask for hep too, and it was exhausting to have people over, even babysitter, because I tried to be my best. Someone offered to help with meals and I couldn't accept just to think about having people over my house..........we give our all , and it is hard to just receive the help. I am glad you shared your experience, because I can recognize the reason of my reactions.............doormat kind of personality
Thank you so much! This was so necessary for me to hear. Also the part about abuse. Your videos give out so much positivity and wisdom and I so look forward to them, as they have become a part of my healing process. 🙏💖
you are such a good person! i love you!!
(and i actually wish i could have the immense blessing it would be to be your friend, because after many out of body and near death experiences from the bad past, i often over think and want to be the most compassionate as you.)
Thank you Anita, I really needed this tonight!
Thanks a lot for sharing, Anita. Love you!
This makes a lot of sense, I love your common sense and your calm way of talking. I can really apply this to my life since my husband says he is sick all the time
Thanks you for all videos !
I love you Anita!!! Gonna watch this tomorrow while I have some breakfast and wait for my sister. I hope you're doing great!!
Thank you so much for this Anita, it's exactly the message I needed to hear.
Anita, always love your videos. Most often your words are like a mirror. Thx so much!
Thank you Anita. Yes I deal with guilt. I will use your suggestions! So important topic. Thank you.
This is a very needed discussion and guidance! Thank you!
I listened to this earlier, but I guess I wasn't ready. Today, however, something steered me towards this, and it really hit me. I am discovering how much this is controlling me! Really needed this today! 🙏💖🦋🌞
Hola Anita, muchas Gracias por todo te Amo!!!!
You are a blessing to mankind Anitha.
As one who was brought up to feel guilty ,this is so helpful.Thankyou lovely lady.xx
Beautiful Anita thank you to you and Danny...
You have helped me. Thank you!
Hi Anita from Japan!
I’m so glad to see you here! I love you!
The guilt keeps me small. Brilliant! Yes! This makes so much sense
Thank You so much dear. And Thank You hou are behind Anita. Lods off love to all of You 🙌💜🦋
In ACIM, there is a line which reads, "Of all the things that make you feel uncomfortable, you never thought your guilt was one of them"! ...........God Bless
Another good topic in addition to guilt that you could cover to help people is shame
Thank you, Anita, for this video, especially the examples ( re your moving to U.S and the other example of the person questioning your flying business/first class). Examples help me relate it to my life.
I think that the individual who criticized your spending money on flying comfortably was believing in 'shortage consciousness' (that there is only 'so much' money/resources to go around). I listen to Abraham Hicks often and have come to believe that there is so much abundance which we have the power to create, and me having abundance does not keep it from someone else.
Love you Anita!
Thank you for this discussion. It’s encouraging to be reminded to pay attention to one’s own self, or else there is no SELF !! Much love & appreciation ♥️💐🥰
My mental breakdowns have had an adverse impact on my Moms health, I live with 65yo Diabetic Mom n whilst I've lost weight, about 50 lbs my family copes with obesity issues n thats difficult for me to process. But God HEAL ANY PROBLEM.
Anita...i know you are not perfect. Afterall you are human and whole. However you sure are a breath of fresh air helping so many people see the truth. May you have a blessed life.
Everytime I watch one of your videos I get a sense of calm. You help me find the grain of truth within myself. Much 💘
Thank you so much. This is exactly the message I need right now. I have life long guilt. I need to be me. To love myself. Be real.
Have a great week 😀 you guys n Dollies!!!
Thankyou soo much Anita 🌷🌸🌹
Thank you so much Anita! This was one of your most poignant episodes so far and I love them all!❤️🌸✨This is such a huge topic and such a tricky thing to feel clear about. Thank you for giving tangible suggestions and exercises to work with. I find guilt being one of the biggest tricksters of all time, cause there is that part of us that thinks of it is a virtue of sorts. For me, I just notice a sudden knot in my stomach and then immediate high anxiety, often so strong I will back off from whatever I'm pursuing because the discomfort is too strong. Also in the midst of the situation I am often not even clear of the fact that I am feeling guilty. I know this is a massive block to freedom so thank you for going deep. Slippery bastard, that guilt. 😬😬😬
After my mother and father's divorce, my mother was continually angry and miserable. Anytime I was happy my mother would tear me down. It became a drug for her to make me feel guilty for being happy. I have a very time being happy and getting resentful with anyone else that's happy. It's been a hard habit to break.
Great video, so much wisdom 🙏 💜
dis---eas of any kind can turn into disease and guilt is a very fast corroding emotion. So much love to you and everyone 💜💜💜
Woooow so important!!!! Thank youuuu
Thank you for this Anita. I have been doing this all my life till this day. Hugs beautiful
Thank you sp much. You have changed my life. I just wasn't too day, when the wealthy spend money, no matter how frivolously, they are supporting people who have less than them. Whe the wealthy use a product , like a L.V. purse, which some are $6,000, that money goes to pay the people who grow hay and alfalfa, to the ranchers who have the cows, to the person who prepare the hide, to the person who prepares the dye, to the person who are the designers, to the person who sees these purses, to the sales person, to the wealthy person, and so forts. Actually it's a lot longer, but basically poor people benefits from when the wealthy's spending sprees. Think about that with everything; cars, airplanes, tour guides, spa technicians, hair salons, restaurants, etc. When people criticize the wealthy, to me they're just very jealous. Jealousy is a negative feeling, and one physics law is that there cannot be two things in the same space. When you're feeling a negative thought, you can't have the feeling of love. Also, wealthy people are there, because they believe they deserve to be wealthy, if they start feeling guilty for being rich, they'll lose their wealth - it happens all the time. ALL the wealthy people I personally know, and even the ones I don't know, they ALL give a lot to the poor. Some give millions of dollars away all the time. I don't see too many middle class or poor people give millions of dollars away... It's our responsibility to live life to the fullest, and enjoy what you live doing, passionately help others, even if it's not money right now, and just give to people who need it more... 😊
Such an important topic
Hello Anita, I have been following your videos a lot. Your voice, honesty, content is all very healing and pure. They calm me a lot....Thank you 🙏 I can relate a lot to what is being said in this video and will certainly take your suggestions.
Dear Anita,I am sitting here in my living room listening to your video. Suddenly the word "BLAME" popped in my head . Speaking for myself,I am full of blame and resentment "you've done me wrong", "that's why I am stuck here because of you" ..... and so on. Can the topic "blame" and "resentment" be proposal for another coming videos? I hope it could free me and other listeners with understanding. My love Anita. Thank you.
Yes, absolutely, I have a hard time feeling good knowing there are people in the world who are in pain, so I try not to think about it! I would feel the exact same way if someone I knew was sick.
I heard about you in Wayne's lecture and it resonated so much with how I feel.
Love you and your videos Anita ❤
I needed this so incredibly badly
I love you Annita. Keep the video's coming your amazing💚💛💜💖💞
I understand what you are saying, and what you mean; however, no one really makes you feel anything. We "feel" it ourselves. No one makes us feel this or that. We choose to feel guilt or not. I love this topic, and it IS important to make the shift to BE who we are in the moment.
Wonderful exposition!!! Thank you for sharing your experiences. I'd like all my family would be able to listen to your words (Is it possible to have subtitles in Spanish in your videos?) Cheers!
My understanding is that guild as such is not a problem. I think it's ok to feel guilty if we do something "wrong" (which could be translated as something against our ultimate benefit). That's a healthy guild. It will help us to reform. It is the same as the voice of conscience. It's there for a good reason. The problem is when guild is misapplied. In all these cases Anita is talking about, I see that the problem is in unhealthy guild, misplaced guild, not the guild as such.