Can do a dedicated video about the masculinization of black women/girls/femmes short hair? I have starter locs and sometimes I get misgendered and I hate how masculine society makes me feel because 1. I’m darkskin 2. I have Afro centric features 3. My locs are short society needs to rewire their harmful beliefs.
True. I have seen how they speak about black or darker people with black features and short hair or just poor and short hair. They just talk trash about them and makes me mad. So yeah we need to educate this people and talk about ir
Question, *AND PLEASE CHILL, THE QUESTION IS GENUINE*. Do you dress femme? I can't see a person misgendering a person who dresses femininely even if they have short hair. Like is the issue our features or our Atire/behavior? *AGAIN GENUINE QUESTION.* *edit* I see she addressed the point I made briefly. I just wanna say femme/masc is an energy. So the things we do exude different energies and vibe.
I used to HATE wearing my natural hair out. I got to a point where I was tired and didn’t care what people said. Wore my short natural hair in an afro and found cute styles on TH-cam. My mother, aunts etc all asked when I would “do something with my hair” or relax it… that I looked a mess and not decent… my ex at the time even hinted at me getting a weave… I was even told genetically I couldn’t grow long hair. 5yrs down the line and my natural 4C hair is past bra strap length and they’re asking me what I did.. 😒 1. I LEFT IT ALONE!!! 2. BEGAN TO LOVE + ACCEPTED MY NATURAL SELF!!!!!!! Natural hair honestly isn’t uplifted until ITS LONG.. I rarely got compliments until I wore my hair in stretched styles. You were spitting faaacts in this video!!! Really made me think back to the comments I faced as well at the shorter stages.. with locs I can only imagine the amount of ignorant comments you had to listen to too 😤 love your videos!!!
Baby locs are the best! I've considered starting over just to go back to the short, fun stage. Your hair is young and free, embracing life and your hair is finally thriving. It's such a beautiful stage.
Yes to the rinsing daily, my hair loves it. It retains moisture better and feels soft. Throwing away white beauty standards is so much less demanding on my hair and scalp.
@K C lol! Exactly. My dad just looks and shakes his head. LMFBO! He’s really just mad cause he’s bald. Should’ve loved his hair…it wouldn’t have left him.
I don't care what people think (black, white and everything in between) about my hair or the styles I chose for myself. If you don't like what you see, look somewhere else. Love your beautiful hair.
Ooo Chile having nappy hair in this society is such an experience. I remember as a kid always lying to my friends when they asked me how long my hair was because I didn’t want to be seen as someone who couldn’t grow their hair long cuz that equaled not being as pretty or feminine??? Like I would really avoid leaving the house when my hair was wet because I genuinely thought someone would mistake me for being a boy. It took a long time but I love my hair now but it was a trip growing up especially in a mostly white space
Man, only time I see 4 type hair get praised, especially 4c is when it’s long. I never see no one with short hair. I struggled with my hair and still do because it’s fine and I couldn’t find anyone who has fine hair and how to work with it and was angry that I even had fine and thought something was wrong with me and wished I had thick long hair.
I'm not sure if you have found a TH-camr with your type of hair yet, but if not I wanted to tell you about Jumoke and Star Puppy. They have fine, thin, 4c hair and I learned a lot from watching them. When I first started my natural hair journey I felt the same way as you because all of the information I was finding didn't work on my thin, fine hair. Then I found Jumoke and Star Puppy.
There’s definitely a length privilege. Ive experienced how bad people treated me when I had my loose hair and when I started locing and how they treated me when I retain some length. Personally, I really enjoyed the short face of my locs. Honestly, it’s sad how people treat you just by looking at the length of hair
I don't think stretching afro hair is eurocentric... Because I am Congolese and there are many old African hairstyles that stretch hair... In french they are called "Tresses au fil" ... I reckon it started in Yoruba people in today Nigeria... I believe They did those hairstyles even before the arrival of Europeans. I think we need to be careful about associating anything with whiteness or eurocentricism because it can erase ones culture and history...
I agree with you. What I can say is that she should focus on hair texture and obsession with looser hair texture. Before Europeans came, braiding or wearing braid wigs were symbols of wealth, tribe, etc. After slavery, we started focusing on changing hair texture.
Thank you for this perspective. I think the reason behind stretching is important. For me personally, I stretch more to avoid tangles. Before, I stretched for length/because I did not like how my hair looked its shrunken state. So yes. Stretching isn’t inherently bad. It depends on the reasons behind it.
@@alisharo58 exactly… I leave my hair in braids to avoid tangles too… and by doing so my hair are stretched… I think the reason why you stretch, as you said, is key to determine whether it is Eurocentric or not Plus many people grew up with relaxers so length was the reference for them… when with Natural hair, it is different…
I never said stretching hair/stretched hairstyles are inherently Eurocentric but that the fear of having hair in a shrunken state should be analyzed because its often rooted in textuism and anti blackness. us west africans have had many hairstyles and braids since the dawn of day so im aware that we have the versatility
@@mayowasworld I never said that you said it was “inherently” Eurocentric. I know you are West African. Sometimes comments are destined to the viewers. Sorry if anything I said was rude.
Sis, you always talk about things I've been questioning about us black people. ( black Women in particular). As a South African, I find it so strange that black women associate freeform locs as untidy and unkept. This is Africa but Africans are still hating on themselves and going after European standards of beauty. It's sad more than anything. 💔
Freeform locks usually develops from uncombed, and unkempt hair. Anyone that doesn't comb their hair for a month will develop inter-locked hair. This sounds ignorant but it's the truth. Locks is not even an African hairstyle, the Hindus especially the worshippers of Shiva popularised that hairstyle.
I love your charged content, don't dumb down yourself to suit a narrative, stay true to your content and people would adjust. There is enough tip toeing content all over TH-cam, don't dim your light you have the backing of many here. Do You
Thx for this - I agree I defended the content in another video too The thing about her energy is that it gives off deep self-acceptance, and that is it for me - I sense joy too, even love. 💓 I feel space to be myself and react in an authentic way and that it's OK. Her vibe is really rare and lovely - and I think it comes from the hard experiences she has walked through to get to where she is - I hope she keeps her light. 🙏🙏💓
I so agree. In these mean social media streets, you could post about sunshine and rainbows and I guarantee you someone will have something negative to say smh.
When I started my locs 6 years ago, my shoulder length 4C loose natural hair compressed itself into 2 inch locs. The more it loc'd the shorter it got. At the time I worked front desk at a resort and my colleagues were constantly telling me to unpick them or cut them or braid them until they got longer. I didn't care because that stage was so beautiful to me. I loved it! I miss it sometimes too. It was a spiritual journey for me, it was about self-love. I didn't care if I didn't fit anyone else's esthetic. When my hair got longer and could move, when it looked like locs, suddenly it was so beautiful to these same critics 🙄 I have "manicured" locs but sometimes it can take 3-6 months before I decide to re-tighten. My manager use come to me and ask me when I was going to do my hair or wear some make up and I'd tell her, when my spirit moves me. She literally used to celebrate when she'd come in and see my hair done and brows and lipstick on. We've been taught to hate ourselves in our natural form and anything too black we find repulsive. It's going to take so much to undo this. I've been enjoying your videos, I think you are beautiful and your hair is beautiful and it's nice to see a sister so unapologetically black! Keep stirring up the conversation, it's the only way to make change. 🤎🤎🤎
The natural hair community’s obsession with shrinkage has always been weird to me. Like who do we need to prove how long a stretched out piece of hair is???
EXACTLY! I was guilty of this. I think it’s a passive diffident way of combatting the stereotype that black women are bald. When we stretch our hair out, it’s almost like we are saying see my hair can be healthy and just as long as yours (yours = nonblack). I guess we categorize length as health, because if it’s unhealthy yet long it’s a plus… But if it’s healthy and short it’s a negative still in society’s eyes. I hate it.
There is no “ugly stage” it’s just discomfort in never seeing yourself like that. I’ve been lucky to love my locs every single step of the journey. I don’t believe in an “ugly phase”. Gotta be kinder to ourselves.
Sis...You always coming with this truth! It's really sad that it happens to males and females. I recently experienced this with my toddler. The longer his hair got, people the more it started looking super coily and he has shrinkage out of this world! People who call themselves family (multiple men) made a comment about his hair being neglected and we need to cut his hair. So, his hair is the type that you can condition it, moisturize it, and comb it, and it still coils and beads up. My baby told be that he wants a fro so dammit, he gone get one. If my baby had a looser curl patten they would have said, oh you have some nice curls! Our people have been brainwashed to believe that the tighter our hair is the uglier it is, and the looser it is, the more beautiful it is. I hate that!
I have locs so everything you said is literally on point! The short stage was the best stage for my confidence of who I am as a woman, being black, and being a black woman. Understanding natural hair and embracing the changes your hair takes you through. Growth is fun but locs will teach you to humble yourself and love your “shrinkage” and understand that it’s out hair and nothing is shrinking in a bad way. Shrinkage means healthy to me anyways
You don’t know in how many natural hair groups I had to leave because of the amount of hate the had against their natural hair.I would like to see you talking about the different types of black around the world and how some of them are praised and taken as the norm on how to be black.I am Afro Latina and it shocks me to see how black people sometime treats their own kind just because they are a little different or come from a different cultural background
As an African-American who loves to study the African Diaspora ESPECIALLY Latin America/ Cattiness I am SO sorry for any ignorance or disrespect you've encountered from our community. I was speaking with a co-worker who has to be in his late 50s and he didn't even know what the African diaspora was. The only difference between us is where the boat dropped off our ancestors. We are ONE African family! 🥰🌍✊🏿💜
I really enjoy your content and the conversations it encourages. As someone who has been natural her whole life, there is something alienating and troubling about hearing other Black women consider long Afro-textured hair as Eurocentric or Anti-Black. Many of us certainly have a spiritual connection to our hair. Some of our life journeys are intricately connected to our hair journeys. Across the globe and African continent Black women are able to grow long hair. Long hair for many of us is also a testament to the state of our health. Signs of high Stress levels, nutrient deficiencies, hormonal issues, and poor health will often show up in our hair and skin. Long hair subconsciously is seen by many cultures as a sign of good health. I understand texturism all too well and agree it is a prevalent problem throughout the Black community. But all textures are capable of growing long whether loc'd or loose. Black women should not feel ashamed for enjoying or pursuing long afro/ kinky hair. Either way, I think this commentary was your truth, vulnerable, and the way many other Black women may feel. Your videos are eye opening and conversation starters for sure. Keep up the good work!
The fact that you have to stretch the hair out to see its length is why I don't like describing my hair as 'long'. In its natural state you wouldn't know how 'long' it is.
Absolutely, long hair just like curvaceous bodies and supple breast, have always been seen as a sign of femininity in all cultures. They need to realise that different African tribes, had various standards of beauty.
@@malcolmxaiver6521 Every black woman, does not have to stretch their hair to see length. Some have hair that weighs down, and others have hair that grows upwards.
Again thank you for discussing! Only when we stop equating healthy beautiful hair with LENGTH do we really start to appreciate our own hair and the hair of others that look like ours💚
love the video, its good to be aware of our on internalised biases. Ideas for chill videos: -day/ morning/ self care/ hygiene routines -cool outfit/ make up looks -a vlog of an interesting day or week -different styles you can do with your free from locs sorry if youve done any of these already lol
This hit the mark! I recently took down my hair from a style I had, and was in awe of the stretched out state whilst dreading the future shrinkage I’d be getting post wash. This video gave me a new perspective on my hair and how I should love and appreciate it in all its phases. Thank you for this!❤️❤️
i love how she feels comfortable enough to wear a see through shirt with no bra, i would be so scared of someone sexualising me or something i cant imagine being so confident and bold like its the fact that i consider a woman showing a beautiful normal part of her body confident or bold....this society really did a number on me
Honestly coming across your channel a few years back with the why i stopped shaving my armpits video was one of the best things i ever came across, i appreciate the work you put out and it has really been helpful to my growth as young black female
Yesss - hey queen . I hated how people treated me with long , straight and weaved up hair . They loved me , but now that I’m free forming I gets no attention! I’d rather get no attention ! Thanks for expressing how I am feeling deep down 😘😘 love you !
I get your points regarding the obsession with length being an aspect of anti Blackness, especially for BW because so many "others" still don't believe "4C" can retain length. I also believe the length checks equates to feelings of femininity where length separates the boys from girls; very interesting discussion BTW.
I agree, but we can’t label long hair as Eurocentric. It’s like straightening your hair is Eurocentric, but if you leave it in its natural state and wear it long, some people will still say its Eurocentric! Women, period, usually like long hair and black women shouldn’t have to feel guilty or apologize for having or wanting long hair.
@@Maki-00 I totally agree with you it really turned me off when she said having long hair is “Eurocentric” like no tf it’s not our hair grows just as fast as there hair does the only difference between us and them is that a lot of black people don’t know how to take care and retain there hair growth so therefore it doesn’t grow long . But saying long hair or wanting long hair is Eurocentric is a huge REACH
@@messybarbie I saw one natural hair video and many of the women had beautiful hair down to their shoulders. One fool in the comments had the nerve to say that the hairstyles were too “Caucasian”. How TF can a black woman’s hair be Caucasian? I’ve even seen some videos, where people say that defining your curls is Eurocentric! I have long natural hair and define my curls, so what? Black women aren’t allowed to have any other hairstyles besides afros and locks? 😕
@@messybarbie They are getting ridiculous. Everything is considered Eurocentrics, even marriage 😅 Many of these so called Afrocentrics know nothing about African history. Long hair, is a standard of beauty for many African tribes.
@@Maki-00 Some blk women like to give Europeans, too much credit. Long hair being a standard of beauty is not a solely a European thing. Many African, Asian and indigenous Americans have the same perception of long hair on women. It is no different than humans finding hips, breasts and full lips attractive on human women.
I can attest to this, I have a video on my channel about a BM making comment on my short locs and even a friend saying I looked better in extensions rather then my starter locs. I just had to push through my journey, I'm 16 months and still have a way to go but I'm committed to the process, I've learned a lot about myself and others!! I do want long hair I cant lie about that,but Ive never had it, as I was leaning toward wigs and relaxers for too long. Great video again
Thank you for speaking about how black hair is gendered. I've had short hair my entire life, and for the past 6 years, I've rocked blonde buzzcuts or fades with designs. I often feel this pressure to put on more makeup or dress more femme out of necessity due to the negative responses I've received(mainly from black men)
Boy, I really have to be more mindful and have more conversations about why I do certain things. Cause this makes so much sense. It's crazy how less-obvious, everyday things are rooted in anti-blackness.
Short or long, my natural hair shrivels up. Now, my hair is down to the top of my boobs, but when it’s dry, it shrivels up to the bottom of my ears. I’ve gotten used to it by now!
I’m sure I am probably old enough to be your mother. I find it very interesting that I’ve set here and watched maybe 5 of your videos in a row. Sweetie you are such a BEAUTIFUL person!! I’ve actually been learning some stuff from you and I pray God covers you against anything the enemy wants to throw your way.🙏🏾🙏🏾😊
I've recently cut all my hair off, and I can't believe how many people tell me they don't like it and they loved it better when it was long. I think it's super cute, but it does make me second guess myself sometimes that I don't look good just because I wanted short hair. It's really sickening that you HAVE to have long hair to be feminine and attractive.
@@cherismiles6644 my mother died years before I went back natural. I really don't think she even knew what to do with it, just like so many other black women, but I know if she was still here, she would've HATED me cutting off all my hair, and looking even shorter cuz now it's kinky coily instead of straight. Even when I took cosmetology in high school, she told me I wasn't ALLOWED to cut my hair, so I thought I was being slick and just cutting on it a little at a time 😆. When it went above my shoulders, she noticed and was mad mad lol. I think people still think old school myths in thinking our hair doesn't grow and if we can get it long it's a damn SIN to touch it with scissors 🤷🏽♀️
Poem: Hair me out She thinks about slavery, Yet chokes her realisation of my misery, Unaware of what she is doing to me. She's blinded by what's popular, Afraid of seeming peculiar, Can't she see that we are similar? Doesn't she know I've been with her from the start? Meant to be difficult, to sharpen her patience, Hoping that the more time spent with me, Would push her on the path of self-discovery, Every broken comb a reminder of her victory. But instead she looks in the mirror with tears in her eyes, And I know she does not understand me, Understand herself. She sees me as a daily tackle, I feel her force no different that her fore parents' shackles, Like chemicals and heat, The daily words hurled at her are toxic. The endgame the same, To straighten, To manipulate. She adds me to the things that hate, Hate her by default. Things that are out of her control. Like all the hair strands she struggles to pull into a pony, She'll never fit in, She can't be tamed, Forced into a mould, created by another's hand. The pony pops off, And she lets me be, She soaks it in: the striking similarity. She knows the extension of herself is me. There is a sparkle in her eyes, No longer will she compromise. She'll take up space like her afro, With self-love and patience, she will grow. She's misunderstood, But she's versatile. Like each hair strand's response to gravity, Their negativity daily she will defy. Every kink will be a chink in what society holds as beauty. Like my length, She's underestimated, But she'll play the fool, Hiding her secrets behind the shrinkage. She is finally proud of her heritage.
The effort, damage and back flips it took me to ‘stretch’ my hair, and now I see maybe ‘shrinkage’ is our default and just how my hair should be. I always used to have box braids / twists etc but getting locs last year and truly living in a short hair length taught me so much. Thank you for your content
Love your take on this! Shrinkage is our hair returning to it’s truest state, and should be embraced, not hated! An idea for a less heavy video topic, no eyebrows eyebrow looks/make up tutorial. I just shaved mine off recently, and I’m positive you’d serve us some good ones!
My hair flourished when I decided it's ok for it to shrink and look short. I like how it confuses white people. The "did you get a haircut?" questions. 😄 I'm like "You wouldn't even know if I did." 😂😂
That’s so annoying when they ask that question. It’s almost every time that they do that. These are people at work that I see every time. They see that throughout the week it expands. They compliment it more after I deep condition it. So it’s short and flat. I love it once it expands and has volume.
I'm not bothered when a white person judges my hair (oh but don't touch it) because I understand their interest, they know nothing about my hair so I get that...what BOTHERS me is when black people judge my hair or any part of this ebony body. I see too many Youturbers making downright bad remarks about themselves when they think they're saying something positive and shrinkage is one of them, uuuuuggg turns my stomach.
Could you please do a video unpacking gap-teeth. There’s so many blacks in America insecure about their gaps or grew up insecure about their gaps or overly concerned about their children’s gaps to the point of forcing braces without the child’s consent and/or without teaching them the African Heritage and beauty behind gaps.
hi Mayowa🌞 I really loved this video as well as the one you did on edges a little while ago. I'm 7 months into my loc journey and I've loved every stage of it. I will say though I have noticed within the loc community the upholding of laid edges but also people always mentioning shrinkage and I've always thought isn't this what we're supposed to be free from?? Lol, I'm not saying there's something wrong with simply observing the physical length difference on wet vs dry locs but like I have the feeling it's coming from the european standards of beauty you're talking about. even when I was loose natural I got tired of going on ig and seeing a black girl holding out one piece of stretched hair to show the "real length" of her hair. on another note, I do have the feeling/intention/observation in my loc journey that "I am growing with my hair". Because I do see my locs as an extension or maybe even as companions of my life journey? and while I have had the feeling I will miss the shorter stages I do catch myself fantasizing about when they are long/longer so I will be checking in with myself to make sure it's not coming from an anti-black/european beauty standard place but just a simple appreciation of growth and part of the journey just as essential and beautiful and significant as the shorter stages. like you I absolutely hate the term "ugly stage" and I don't even like the term "awkward stage" even though it can feel a little awk as one's locs begin to "explore" and change so rapidly hahah. Anyways thanks again for opening up these conversations, lots of warm energy to you
Potential Topics? Your fashion sense past and future (don't hesitate 2 put in what u want to wear in future), a list of your favorite things right now (don't limit, anything that's your favorite), an awesome moment of reflection that made you feel good, how you express happiness and the things that make u happy. Just some random ideas 🤷♀️
Long hair isn’t Eurocentric, cultures that don’t have a large population of folks with black hair…will feel a certain kinda about afrotextured hair. I will say it hurts more when other black like to knock my hair. I don’t like what shape my hair makes when it shrinks after a shower because it’s not styled in a cute way that shapes my face. I like that my hair shrinks because I can make twist a certain way so that I can either wear my hair long (smaller sections looser twist) or by my jawline (bigger sections tighter curls).
We really experience so much conditioning that encourages us to measure our proximity to whiteness. It really chips away us and takes away from loving ourselves and experiencing so much. You said it perfectly at 14:06 and I really hope that more black people experience so much love and appreciation and tenderness towards themselves and their bodies.
I agree! A lot of stuff in society is rooted in anti blackness and it is a constant unlearning of people wanting us to hate ourselves and the things that make us unique. I have to tell myself everyday and really second guess why I’m doing something whilst also remembering a lot of people do not want to put in the work to unlearn and you have to just distance yourselves from those people
I’m South African and very few of us have curly or loosely textured natural hair, so it always shocks me when (literal) strangers have the audacity to come up to me to tell me to either cut or comb my 4C hair when it’s in its most shrunken state. But the compliments I receive when it’s blown out? It’s like existing in two contrasting realities tbh.
Hello I'm a fellow South African from Johannesburg and I fully concur with you .I have full puff afro (have fake 4c locks in profile photo now) I wear it a third of the time and always get prople telling me to relax it or flat iron it . I get what I can " Half compliments "on my afro people say things to the effect of " Your afro is nice but would be better if you got it done " uhm girl bye .
I love these videos!! I’m 18 and have struggled with these problems since I was a baby and my mom used to put relaxer in my hair. These are such important conversations for the natural hair community to have! I’m so glad I found your channel❤️
The crazy thing is that my dad actively told me to my face that I look like a little boy when my hair is in its natural shrunken state. He told me not to leave the house like that anymore, without my edges done and with my hair shrunken. I don’t think I ever did again tbh.
I actually miss my baby loc stage . I miss the frizz and I miss how they were all over the place . That’s a beautiful stage and everyone should embrace it
Ur comment section is so refreshing. Ive always found it strange how obsessed we are about length. Or how if someone decides to get a perm or texturizer today after being natural that person may be made to feel like a trader.
I so love your content and your energy, I too totally agree, there is no such thing as an ugly stage, I don't like that phrase 😔. The beginning stage of the loc journey is the best. I actually miss when my locs were wild and all over my head, doing their own thing ❤
I didn't get a job at Publix because I had an afro. It took me to be months down my journey to have some level of eurocentric look to appease their eurocentric work policies. I hate that I had to have a specific look to work for a place..... Then they tried to tell me I needed to trim my locs after my year mark..... I quit
Man sis, you are speaking facts. I sure learned that having short, kinky hair is not valued in this society. It took me many years to fully love my hair. As humans we sometimes want validation from others. When people condemn you for looking a certain way it can really mess with you mentally.
I think you have a point. Having short kinky hair can make us feel vulnerable. When I did my big chop I did feel masculine. Also, short hair as masculine is seen that way across many cultures. But it is radical (in a good way) to want to subvert that. Long hair has a chokehold on us, but I have to say I do like to see long natural (kinky) hair because I personally haven’t seen it too often (not saying it doesn’t exist just what I’ve encountered) I like seeing all the different variations of black (kinky) hair as more women go natural
I appreciate your take, Mayowa! Thank you for sharing your bold viewpoint. I like your straightforward no nonsense approach. Yet still so vulnerable and empassioned about these topics that offend and disturb a lot of us Afro women.
I really love how authentic to yourself you are regardless of how other people react to it. As a Cancer, I know you really feel that shit but you power through for YOUR own sake and that's so beautiful 😍
I love that you voiced the specialness of having short hair bc when my hair was longer I would miss the shortness sometimes because of various reasons, but shortness is special in its own way and I haven’t heard that voiced before. Ty!!!
This is right on time! I recently have stopped fawning over my hair due to not wanting to deal with it. I wash and throw gel in it and it's natural coily state is so beautiful. I have learned to appreciate each coil and zigzag for what it is. I feel like a wizard when I take a coil and stretch it out. It blows my mind. I'm loving my hair natural shrunken state.
Wow, I love how you articulate so well insecurities that black people usually don't outright talk about but are still moulded by. When wearing my hair naturally, I felt so much more pressure to be "ultra-feminine" to combat any thought that my hair was masculine. I worried about being misgendered, especially during the shorter stage (I wore a wig through the entire thing) and only now that my locs are longer do I feel it's more "acceptable." Thank you for your videos!
Yep my hair isn't kinky but when I cut my 24inches of curly hair I literally was treated different. It was like I was invisible. I grew my hair out then got a tapered fade and this time I made a point to love every stage of my hair and now I don't care what people think of me. Great video
This was dope! TFS!❤️ Video suggestions: I think #1 it’s your passion that everybody is responding to. Even though you seem to hear the peanut gallery on the other side of the screen, I’m sure you’ll get even better at ignoring them. So a video on whatever is the vibe of the week would probably do! Maybe one on your 7 go to eyebrow looks?
I’m a guy with collar bone length. I usually get my hair blow dried once a month and do 3 styles, braids, then mini twists, then gel to define my natural curl pattern. I just prefer this because I can get away with not washing my hair for a month and will look good for the whole time. I can wear my hair in twists or curly without blow dry my hair but I honestly don’t like messing with my hair everyday. When my Hair is blow dried I just have to sleep in a Durag and shake it in the morning basically and it looks good and I don’t get any frizz. It’s also a lot easier for me to detangle when it’s time to wash
This video reminded me how I low-key feel sad when my hair shrivels when I apply water to it after a twist-out. Thinking back I feel a subconscious tinge of sadness and disappointment. Now those feelings have been brought to the forefront, I can look into and question them I love the points you made about unlearning antiblackness being a journey - not a race and also rushing to find answers doesn't allow you to go deeper. Patience and awareness are key on this journey Edit - Okay you ended with a bang - our hair is returning to itself, Returning to the Source! We are the Source - Okay I'm done 😄💃🏾
so true like when i wash my hair which i just did last night and the shrinkage was unbearable and my hair was hard to comb at least by watching this video you made me feel better and just appreciate it after all it is my hair
I stopped using combs over 20 years ago. All they were doing was pulling out my hair. I just detangle with my fingers. Once I stopped breaking off my hair by combining it, I was actually able to retain length.
you look gorgeous btw, but I feel you, I also have 4c hair, I recently cut my Locs so im in the short kinky stage and its pretty weird with the treatment I get. but I love that you don't check for length, its a whole lot freeing!
loved the video! thank you for making it. I hope more people are able to be gentler with themselves and love their shrunken hair. Video suggestions: -storytime about being in or life in Nigeria -your fashion -any storytime -books, tv shows, podcasts, or songs you are enjoying -going through the different styles of fashion you've worn over the last few years and tell us about the outfit and why it represented you at that moment
Why is that? 😭 When I went natural years ago (I’m loc’d now) my own family was calling me nappy headed and my white co workers told me how much they liked my hair. 🤔
oh lets talk about how long hair isn't just a European or "white'" thing my ancestors had long hair, it was manipulated that way and clay was applied to it, or joined with wool, so no "black" person should feel like they are copying a look of another race...your ancestors or ancestors that look like you did their hair that way looooooooooooong before colonization or slavery. love your long 4c locs without think anything of it
I found your videos with the one focused on edges. I loved that one and this one is so necessary too. "Me finding validation in length is Anti- Black" I concur! I'm so glad u said it. Yes black women's hair naturally grows short or long but when I'm seeking validation through longer hair. I'm trying to align with European beauty standards which have been socialized for forever as long hair. Please keep spreading the truth. We need it in the community. It only perpetuates love over self hate!
the beauty you see in 'shrunken nappy hair' is so cool. because even me my hair is pretty short (I have 4C hair) and I completely get what you mean by it being 'more protected' the closer it is to my scalp !
Mayowa I love your videos so much, and don't stop doing the charged videos because they really do help put a lot of things in perspective! I be nodding my head so hard to them! I really appreciated when you brought up how long locs are associated with wisdom and spirituality because I know lots of stupid wicked people with long locs 😩 like where the hell did that come from?! And the obsession with long locs is insane. I've had mine for around 8 years now but because they don't reach my ass people look at me funny like there's something defective with them or me. And at the same time I've also struggled with length because even though this is the longest my hair has been, it has been quite unhealthy, but when I say that I want to cut it people are like nooooo don't cut it just buy XYZ and apply ABC... Also idk if this is just a personal experience or universal to folks with locs but the loose natural ghels really be giving terrible advice and insisting on products to make your hair softer like pls we are not the same at all!
As I realize where my insecurities come from and am trying to understand why they're there in the first place, I really grow to despise and hate "eurocentric beauty standards" being the pentacle of beauty
Sometimes we can overthink these things. If someone is comfortable with themselves it shows and things like their hair have less meaning. Just as.long as its healthy and the body is healthy all is well.
I am currently on a loc journey and I feel sooooo beautiful Most days I leave the house without makeup Initially when I started I planned to get loc extensions NOT ANYMORE
Idk that I'd call it "length privilege", but I definitely do include what you were talking about into featurism. Another thing I thought was important to point out is that stretched hair ( or protective styles) often have a cultural significance in many cultures in Africa; regardless, I think it still makes sense for you to see it stretched hair as anti-black (particularly in the US and countries that are mainly white and/or countries dealing with a lot of colorism/featurism/all of it among black people). Another thing too is that long hair has a long (ha 😂) history of association with fertility and accross many cultures, not just proximity to whiteness (not saying it's good, but it's definitely a thing). Love your videos 🖤 always here for your insight.
I’m sorry.. but looking at how gorgeous that top looks on you reminds me of how I also suffer from shrinkage... in my chest area 😂😂 It’s shrinkage all day for me up top!
Please don’t change your content. You’re saying the things no one says! I understand what that means for you so I’m also here for you doing what works for you and your well being. We’ll be either way ❤️
I like what you said about checking in. I have been loose natural for 3 going on 4 years after doing a big chop and I experienced a lot of out right anti blackness and although I love the freedom Ibhave walked into there is apart of me that does miss the acceptance I had and I do have to check back in with myself and remind myself of the bondage I was in which is the other side of that acceptance and that shows me that it was not worth it and I move forward
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![ค้าง (STILL) - GEMINI [ OFFICIAL MV ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Ftxx3hk5vkU/mqdefault.jpg)
Can do a dedicated video about the masculinization of black women/girls/femmes short hair? I have starter locs and sometimes I get misgendered and I hate how masculine society makes me feel because 1. I’m darkskin 2. I have Afro centric features 3. My locs are short society needs to rewire their harmful beliefs.
True. I have seen how they speak about black or darker people with black features and short hair or just poor and short hair. They just talk trash about them and makes me mad. So yeah we need to educate this people and talk about ir
@@ellaes6602
Right, the way it affects us is horrible 💀
Question, *AND PLEASE CHILL, THE QUESTION IS GENUINE*. Do you dress femme? I can't see a person misgendering a person who dresses femininely even if they have short hair. Like is the issue our features or our Atire/behavior? *AGAIN GENUINE QUESTION.*
*edit* I see she addressed the point I made briefly. I just wanna say femme/masc is an energy. So the things we do exude different energies and vibe.
I agree. Or saying the you look like Meek Mill
@@eems6859
My work uniform is gender neutral
People are obsessed with long hair.
Kinky hair has a hard time showing length. Therefore they believe that shrinkage is “holding them back”
I used to HATE wearing my natural hair out. I got to a point where I was tired and didn’t care what people said. Wore my short natural hair in an afro and found cute styles on TH-cam. My mother, aunts etc all asked when I would “do something with my hair” or relax it… that I looked a mess and not decent… my ex at the time even hinted at me getting a weave… I was even told genetically I couldn’t grow long hair. 5yrs down the line and my natural 4C hair is past bra strap length and they’re asking me what I did.. 😒 1. I LEFT IT ALONE!!! 2. BEGAN TO LOVE + ACCEPTED MY NATURAL SELF!!!!!!! Natural hair honestly isn’t uplifted until ITS LONG.. I rarely got compliments until I wore my hair in stretched styles.
You were spitting faaacts in this video!!! Really made me think back to the comments I faced as well at the shorter stages.. with locs I can only imagine the amount of ignorant comments you had to listen to too 😤 love your videos!!!
People don't like 4B/4C hair until it's long or stretched SMH
Words are spells, people who call it the ugly stage view themselves as ugly, I love my baby locs and I call them the baby stage ✨
Awww!!! 👶🏾
I love that. The baby stage 😍
I loved my baby locs stage. I am in my teenage locs stage and sometimes I was self conscious, but mostly not. It changes a lot every week or so.
Baby locs are the best! I've considered starting over just to go back to the short, fun stage. Your hair is young and free, embracing life and your hair is finally thriving. It's such a beautiful stage.
That's nice. I love that. #naturalisbeautiful
My father HATES my hair. All I do is rinse it daily. It’s wild and NAPPY AF! 😂 And I love it.
Yes to the rinsing daily, my hair loves it. It retains moisture better and feels soft. Throwing away white beauty standards is so much less demanding on my hair and scalp.
@K C lol! Exactly. My dad just looks and shakes his head. LMFBO! He’s really just mad cause he’s bald. Should’ve loved his hair…it wouldn’t have left him.
@@fififlowertot177 my hair feels absolutely wonderful. So clean, light and soft.
@@StrangeAngles I hope his words/attitude never get to you
Was he not supposed to give you compliments? That's wrong of him, he is supposed to give you self esteem not taking away. So sad
I don't care what people think (black, white and everything in between) about my hair or the styles I chose for myself. If you don't like what you see, look somewhere else.
Love your beautiful hair.
✨👑
look somewhere else🤣lololo
Ooo Chile having nappy hair in this society is such an experience. I remember as a kid always lying to my friends when they asked me how long my hair was because I didn’t want to be seen as someone who couldn’t grow their hair long cuz that equaled not being as pretty or feminine??? Like I would really avoid leaving the house when my hair was wet because I genuinely thought someone would mistake me for being a boy. It took a long time but I love my hair now but it was a trip growing up especially in a mostly white space
omg I did that too! I feel like there was shame associated with having short hair as a child smh
I did that too, or put perm, flat iron, etc to it, growing up in germany, it changed in my twenties.
Black/afro hair is beautiful. We should be proud of it.
absolutely
One thing I LOVE about natural hair is that it let's you know how people around you are really like.
Yes! I love it, kind of a truth mirror.
Very true.
Man, only time I see 4 type hair get praised, especially 4c is when it’s long. I never see no one with short hair. I struggled with my hair and still do because it’s fine and I couldn’t find anyone who has fine hair and how to work with it and was angry that I even had fine and thought something was wrong with me and wished I had thick long hair.
so true, its only a certain type of 4c that is uplifted
I'm not sure if you have found a TH-camr with your type of hair yet, but if not I wanted to tell you about Jumoke and Star Puppy. They have fine, thin, 4c hair and I learned a lot from watching them. When I first started my natural hair journey I felt the same way as you because all of the information I was finding didn't work on my thin, fine hair. Then I found Jumoke and Star Puppy.
@K C I have coarse, high density, 4B 4C hair too. I do 2 ponytails instead of 1. 😌
Girl, keep up with the "charged" videos. They're insightful
There’s definitely a length privilege. Ive experienced how bad people treated me when I had my loose hair and when I started locing and how they treated me when I retain some length.
Personally, I really enjoyed the short face of my locs. Honestly, it’s sad how people treat you just by looking at the length of hair
yess exactly! it really changes a lot.
I don't think stretching afro hair is eurocentric... Because I am Congolese and there are many old African hairstyles that stretch hair... In french they are called "Tresses au fil" ... I reckon it started in Yoruba people in today Nigeria... I believe They did those hairstyles even before the arrival of Europeans. I think we need to be careful about associating anything with whiteness or eurocentricism because it can erase ones culture and history...
I agree with you. What I can say is that she should focus on hair texture and obsession with looser hair texture. Before Europeans came, braiding or wearing braid wigs were symbols of wealth, tribe, etc. After slavery, we started focusing on changing hair texture.
Thank you for this perspective.
I think the reason behind stretching is important. For me personally, I stretch more to avoid tangles. Before, I stretched for length/because I did not like how my hair looked its shrunken state.
So yes. Stretching isn’t inherently bad. It depends on the reasons behind it.
@@alisharo58 exactly… I leave my hair in braids to avoid tangles too… and by doing so my hair are stretched… I think the reason why you stretch, as you said, is key to determine whether it is Eurocentric or not
Plus many people grew up with relaxers so length was the reference for them… when with Natural hair, it is different…
I never said stretching hair/stretched hairstyles are inherently Eurocentric but that the fear of having hair in a shrunken state should be analyzed because its often rooted in textuism and anti blackness. us west africans have had many hairstyles and braids since the dawn of day so im aware that we have the versatility
@@mayowasworld I never said that you said it was “inherently” Eurocentric. I know you are West African. Sometimes comments are destined to the viewers.
Sorry if anything I said was rude.
Sis, you always talk about things I've been questioning about us black people. ( black Women in particular). As a South African, I find it so strange that black women associate freeform locs as untidy and unkept. This is Africa but Africans are still hating on themselves and going after European standards of beauty. It's sad more than anything. 💔
Freeform locks usually develops from uncombed, and unkempt hair. Anyone that doesn't comb their hair for a month will develop inter-locked hair. This sounds ignorant but it's the truth.
Locks is not even an African hairstyle, the Hindus especially the worshippers of Shiva popularised that hairstyle.
People (men and women) in SA rarely wear their manicured locs out.
🎉🎉🎉🎉
I love your charged content, don't dumb down yourself to suit a narrative, stay true to your content and people would adjust. There is enough tip toeing content all over TH-cam, don't dim your light you have the backing of many here. Do You
aw thank you!!
🙌🏾❤️🙌🏾
✊
Thx for this - I agree
I defended the content in another video too
The thing about her energy is that it gives off deep self-acceptance, and that is it for me - I sense joy too, even love. 💓 I feel space to be myself and react in an authentic way and that it's OK.
Her vibe is really rare and lovely - and I think it comes from the hard experiences she has walked through to get to where she is - I hope she keeps her light.
🙏🙏💓
I so agree. In these mean social media streets, you could post about sunshine and rainbows and I guarantee you someone will have something negative to say smh.
When I started my locs 6 years ago, my shoulder length 4C loose natural hair compressed itself into 2 inch locs. The more it loc'd the shorter it got.
At the time I worked front desk at a resort and my colleagues were constantly telling me to unpick them or cut them or braid them until they got longer. I didn't care because that stage was so beautiful to me. I loved it! I miss it sometimes too.
It was a spiritual journey for me, it was about self-love. I didn't care if I didn't fit anyone else's esthetic.
When my hair got longer and could move, when it looked like locs, suddenly it was so beautiful to these same critics 🙄
I have "manicured" locs but sometimes it can take 3-6 months before I decide to re-tighten. My manager use come to me and ask me when I was going to do my hair or wear some make up and I'd tell her, when my spirit moves me. She literally used to celebrate when she'd come in and see my hair done and brows and lipstick on.
We've been taught to hate ourselves in our natural form and anything too black we find repulsive. It's going to take so much to undo this.
I've been enjoying your videos, I think you are beautiful and your hair is beautiful and it's nice to see a sister so unapologetically black! Keep stirring up the conversation, it's the only way to make change. 🤎🤎🤎
The natural hair community’s obsession with shrinkage has always been weird to me. Like who do we need to prove how long a stretched out piece of hair is???
EXACTLY! I was guilty of this. I think it’s a passive diffident way of combatting the stereotype that black women are bald. When we stretch our hair out, it’s almost like we are saying see my hair can be healthy and just as long as yours (yours = nonblack). I guess we categorize length as health, because if it’s unhealthy yet long it’s a plus… But if it’s healthy and short it’s a negative still in society’s eyes. I hate it.
There is no “ugly stage” it’s just discomfort in never seeing yourself like that. I’ve been lucky to love my locs every single step of the journey. I don’t believe in an “ugly phase”. Gotta be kinder to ourselves.
Sis...You always coming with this truth! It's really sad that it happens to males and females. I recently experienced this with my toddler. The longer his hair got, people the more it started looking super coily and he has shrinkage out of this world! People who call themselves family (multiple men) made a comment about his hair being neglected and we need to cut his hair. So, his hair is the type that you can condition it, moisturize it, and comb it, and it still coils and beads up. My baby told be that he wants a fro so dammit, he gone get one. If my baby had a looser curl patten they would have said, oh you have some nice curls! Our people have been brainwashed to believe that the tighter our hair is the uglier it is, and the looser it is, the more beautiful it is. I hate that!
I have locs so everything you said is literally on point! The short stage was the best stage for my confidence of who I am as a woman, being black, and being a black woman. Understanding natural hair and embracing the changes your hair takes you through. Growth is fun but locs will teach you to humble yourself and love your “shrinkage” and understand that it’s out hair and nothing is shrinking in a bad way. Shrinkage means healthy to me anyways
Exactly!
You don’t know in how many natural hair groups I had to leave because of the amount of hate the had against their natural hair.I would like to see you talking about the different types of black around the world and how some of them are praised and taken as the norm on how to be black.I am Afro Latina and it shocks me to see how black people sometime treats their own kind just because they are a little different or come from a different cultural background
As an African-American who loves to study the African Diaspora ESPECIALLY Latin America/ Cattiness I am SO sorry for any ignorance or disrespect you've encountered from our community. I was speaking with a co-worker who has to be in his late 50s and he didn't even know what the African diaspora was. The only difference between us is where the boat dropped off our ancestors. We are ONE African family! 🥰🌍✊🏿💜
I really enjoy your content and the conversations it encourages. As someone who has been natural her whole life, there is something alienating and troubling about hearing other Black women consider long Afro-textured hair as Eurocentric or Anti-Black. Many of us certainly have a spiritual connection to our hair. Some of our life journeys are intricately connected to our hair journeys. Across the globe and African continent Black women are able to grow long hair. Long hair for many of us is also a testament to the state of our health. Signs of high Stress levels, nutrient deficiencies, hormonal issues, and poor health will often show up in our hair and skin. Long hair subconsciously is seen by many cultures as a sign of good health. I understand texturism all too well and agree it is a prevalent problem throughout the Black community. But all textures are capable of growing long whether loc'd or loose. Black women should not feel ashamed for enjoying or pursuing long afro/ kinky hair. Either way, I think this commentary was your truth, vulnerable, and the way many other Black women may feel. Your videos are eye opening and conversation starters for sure. Keep up the good work!
Right. Hair can be long even when tightly coiled. Ours is just reaching for the sun.
The fact that you have to stretch the hair out to see its length is why I don't like describing my hair as 'long'. In its natural state you wouldn't know how 'long' it is.
Hair grows when your dead, so how is that a testament for health?
Absolutely, long hair just like curvaceous bodies and supple breast, have always been seen as a sign of femininity in all cultures. They need to realise that different African tribes, had various standards of beauty.
@@malcolmxaiver6521 Every black woman, does not have to stretch their hair to see length. Some have hair that weighs down, and others have hair that grows upwards.
Again thank you for discussing! Only when we stop equating healthy beautiful hair with LENGTH do we really start to appreciate our own hair and the hair of others that look like ours💚
Enjoy where you're at. Hair and life advice
love the video, its good to be aware of our on internalised biases. Ideas for chill videos:
-day/ morning/ self care/ hygiene routines
-cool outfit/ make up looks
-a vlog of an interesting day or week
-different styles you can do with your free from locs
sorry if youve done any of these already lol
these are good suggestions thank you!
For sure! And greater self-awareness tends to yield kinder, more compassionate people.
Happiness is as contagious as everything else.
This hit the mark! I recently took down my hair from a style I had, and was in awe of the stretched out state whilst dreading the future shrinkage I’d be getting post wash. This video gave me a new perspective on my hair and how I should love and appreciate it in all its phases. Thank you for this!❤️❤️
i love how she feels comfortable enough to wear a see through shirt with no bra, i would be so scared of someone sexualising me or something i cant imagine being so confident and bold like its the fact that i consider a woman showing a beautiful normal part of her body confident or bold....this society really did a number on me
I disagree. It is a bit much
@@ertfgghhhh imagine being the literal point of OP's comment and not getting it
@@seachelle2316 I beg your pardon? I disagreed with parts of her statement.i disagreed with her points. What's the problem with that?
If you want, you could talk about your style and your sense of fashion. Loved the truths you spoke in the video
Honestly coming across your channel a few years back with the why i stopped shaving my armpits video was one of the best things i ever came across, i appreciate the work you put out and it has really been helpful to my growth as young black female
aww thank you for this kind message
Yesss - hey queen . I hated how people treated me with long , straight and weaved up hair . They loved me , but now that I’m free forming I gets no attention! I’d rather get no attention ! Thanks for expressing how I am feeling deep down 😘😘 love you !
I get your points regarding the obsession with length being an aspect of anti Blackness, especially for BW because so many "others" still don't believe "4C" can retain length. I also believe the length checks equates to feelings of femininity where length separates the boys from girls; very interesting discussion BTW.
I agree, but we can’t label long hair as Eurocentric. It’s like straightening your hair is Eurocentric, but if you leave it in its natural state and wear it long, some people will still say its Eurocentric! Women, period, usually like long hair and black women shouldn’t have to feel guilty or apologize for having or wanting long hair.
@@Maki-00 I totally agree with you it really turned me off when she said having long hair is “Eurocentric” like no tf it’s not our hair grows just as fast as there hair does the only difference between us and them is that a lot of black people don’t know how to take care and retain there hair growth so therefore it doesn’t grow long . But saying long hair or wanting long hair is Eurocentric is a huge REACH
@@messybarbie I saw one natural hair video and many of the women had beautiful hair down to their shoulders. One fool in the comments had the nerve to say that the hairstyles were too “Caucasian”. How TF can a black woman’s hair be Caucasian? I’ve even seen some videos, where people say that defining your curls is Eurocentric! I have long natural hair and define my curls, so what? Black women aren’t allowed to have any other hairstyles besides afros and locks? 😕
@@messybarbie They are getting ridiculous. Everything is considered Eurocentrics, even marriage 😅 Many of these so called Afrocentrics know nothing about African history. Long hair, is a standard of beauty for many African tribes.
@@Maki-00 Some blk women like to give Europeans, too much credit. Long hair being a standard of beauty is not a solely a European thing. Many African, Asian and indigenous Americans have the same perception of long hair on women. It is no different than humans finding hips, breasts and full lips attractive on human women.
I can attest to this, I have a video on my channel about a BM making comment on my short locs and even a friend saying I looked better in extensions rather then my starter locs. I just had to push through my journey, I'm 16 months and still have a way to go but I'm committed to the process, I've learned a lot about myself and others!! I do want long hair I cant lie about that,but Ive never had it, as I was leaning toward wigs and relaxers for too long. Great video again
Thank you for speaking about how black hair is gendered. I've had short hair my entire life, and for the past 6 years, I've rocked blonde buzzcuts or fades with designs. I often feel this pressure to put on more makeup or dress more femme out of necessity due to the negative responses I've received(mainly from black men)
Boy, I really have to be more mindful and have more conversations about why I do certain things. Cause this makes so much sense. It's crazy how less-obvious, everyday things are rooted in anti-blackness.
Short or long, my natural hair shrivels up. Now, my hair is down to the top of my boobs, but when it’s dry, it shrivels up to the bottom of my ears. I’ve gotten used to it by now!
I’m sure I am probably old enough to be your mother. I find it very interesting that I’ve set here and watched maybe 5 of your videos in a row. Sweetie you are such a BEAUTIFUL person!! I’ve actually been learning some stuff from you and I pray God covers you against anything the enemy wants to throw your way.🙏🏾🙏🏾😊
I've recently cut all my hair off, and I can't believe how many people tell me they don't like it and they loved it better when it was long. I think it's super cute, but it does make me second guess myself sometimes that I don't look good just because I wanted short hair. It's really sickening that you HAVE to have long hair to be feminine and attractive.
The way my family acted up when I cut my hair. Like you would have thunk I cut THEIR hair without consent. They were so pressed, it was ridiculous.
So true my mother acted like I was the devil it’s self when I cut my hair short again, you would think I was her property but i’m a legal adult?
@@cherismiles6644 my mother died years before I went back natural. I really don't think she even knew what to do with it, just like so many other black women, but I know if she was still here, she would've HATED me cutting off all my hair, and looking even shorter cuz now it's kinky coily instead of straight. Even when I took cosmetology in high school, she told me I wasn't ALLOWED to cut my hair, so I thought I was being slick and just cutting on it a little at a time 😆. When it went above my shoulders, she noticed and was mad mad lol. I think people still think old school myths in thinking our hair doesn't grow and if we can get it long it's a damn SIN to touch it with scissors 🤷🏽♀️
Poem: Hair me out
She thinks about slavery,
Yet chokes her realisation of my misery,
Unaware of what she is doing to me.
She's blinded by what's popular,
Afraid of seeming peculiar,
Can't she see that we are similar?
Doesn't she know I've been with her from the start?
Meant to be difficult, to sharpen her patience,
Hoping that the more time spent with me,
Would push her on the path of self-discovery,
Every broken comb a reminder of her victory.
But instead she looks in the mirror with tears in her eyes,
And I know she does not understand me,
Understand herself.
She sees me as a daily tackle,
I feel her force no different that her fore parents' shackles,
Like chemicals and heat,
The daily words hurled at her are toxic.
The endgame the same,
To straighten,
To manipulate.
She adds me to the things that hate,
Hate her by default.
Things that are out of her control.
Like all the hair strands she struggles to pull into a pony,
She'll never fit in,
She can't be tamed,
Forced into a mould, created by another's hand.
The pony pops off,
And she lets me be,
She soaks it in: the striking similarity.
She knows the extension of herself is me.
There is a sparkle in her eyes,
No longer will she compromise.
She'll take up space like her afro,
With self-love and patience, she will grow.
She's misunderstood,
But she's versatile.
Like each hair strand's response to gravity,
Their negativity daily she will defy.
Every kink will be a chink in what society holds as beauty.
Like my length,
She's underestimated,
But she'll play the fool,
Hiding her secrets behind the shrinkage.
She is finally proud of her heritage.
I love this !
@@AlatOnDemand Thank you. Means a lot to me.
Waw 👏🏽💪🏽
This poem is absolutely beautiful! It definitely resonated with me.
❤✊🏿
I love your commentary. I'm a new sub to your channel but you are very enlightened and I'm learning a lot from you.
The effort, damage and back flips it took me to ‘stretch’ my hair, and now I see maybe ‘shrinkage’ is our default and just how my hair should be. I always used to have box braids / twists etc but getting locs last year and truly living in a short hair length taught me so much. Thank you for your content
Our hair is the way it is to protect our heads from burning up in the scorching hot weather in Africa.
Wrong
That’s actually a popular theory
Love your take on this! Shrinkage is our hair returning to it’s truest state, and should be embraced, not hated!
An idea for a less heavy video topic, no eyebrows eyebrow looks/make up tutorial. I just shaved mine off recently, and I’m positive you’d serve us some good ones!
My hair flourished when I decided it's ok for it to shrink and look short. I like how it confuses white people. The "did you get a haircut?" questions. 😄 I'm like "You wouldn't even know if I did." 😂😂
hahaha it really does confuse them. they be shook af when you show up 2 days later with it twice the size lmfao
That’s so annoying when they ask that question. It’s almost every time that they do that. These are people at work that I see every time. They see that throughout the week it expands. They compliment it more after I deep condition it. So it’s short and flat. I love it once it expands and has volume.
I'm not bothered when a white person judges my hair (oh but don't touch it) because I understand their interest, they know nothing about my hair so I get that...what BOTHERS me is when black people judge my hair or any part of this ebony body. I see too many Youturbers making downright bad remarks about themselves when they think they're saying something positive and shrinkage is one of them, uuuuuggg turns my stomach.
Could you please do a video unpacking gap-teeth. There’s so many blacks in America insecure about their gaps or grew up insecure about their gaps or overly concerned about their children’s gaps to the point of forcing braces without the child’s consent and/or without teaching them the African Heritage and beauty behind gaps.
hi Mayowa🌞 I really loved this video as well as the one you did on edges a little while ago. I'm 7 months into my loc journey and I've loved every stage of it. I will say though I have noticed within the loc community the upholding of laid edges but also people always mentioning shrinkage and I've always thought isn't this what we're supposed to be free from?? Lol, I'm not saying there's something wrong with simply observing the physical length difference on wet vs dry locs but like I have the feeling it's coming from the european standards of beauty you're talking about. even when I was loose natural I got tired of going on ig and seeing a black girl holding out one piece of stretched hair to show the "real length" of her hair.
on another note, I do have the feeling/intention/observation in my loc journey that "I am growing with my hair". Because I do see my locs as an extension or maybe even as companions of my life journey? and while I have had the feeling I will miss the shorter stages I do catch myself fantasizing about when they are long/longer so I will be checking in with myself to make sure it's not coming from an anti-black/european beauty standard place but just a simple appreciation of growth and part of the journey just as essential and beautiful and significant as the shorter stages. like you I absolutely hate the term "ugly stage" and I don't even like the term "awkward stage" even though it can feel a little awk as one's locs begin to "explore" and change so rapidly hahah. Anyways thanks again for opening up these conversations, lots of warm energy to you
I just love the vibe I'm getting from mayowa's video. It's making me realize black is beautiful. It's a fact and it should not be changed
Potential Topics? Your fashion sense past and future (don't hesitate 2 put in what u want to wear in future), a list of your favorite things right now (don't limit, anything that's your favorite), an awesome moment of reflection that made you feel good, how you express happiness and the things that make u happy. Just some random ideas 🤷♀️
"I am not using my hair as a form of validation", that is so powerful!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts
Long hair isn’t Eurocentric, cultures that don’t have a large population of folks with black hair…will feel a certain kinda about afrotextured hair. I will say it hurts more when other black like to knock my hair.
I don’t like what shape my hair makes when it shrinks after a shower because it’s not styled in a cute way that shapes my face. I like that my hair shrinks because I can make twist a certain way so that I can either wear my hair long (smaller sections looser twist) or by my jawline (bigger sections tighter curls).
We really experience so much conditioning that encourages us to measure our proximity to whiteness. It really chips away us and takes away from loving ourselves and experiencing so much. You said it perfectly at 14:06 and I really hope that more black people experience so much love and appreciation and tenderness towards themselves and their bodies.
I agree! A lot of stuff in society is rooted in anti blackness and it is a constant unlearning of people wanting us to hate ourselves and the things that make us unique. I have to tell myself everyday and really second guess why I’m doing something whilst also remembering a lot of people do not want to put in the work to unlearn and you have to just distance yourselves from those people
You make so much sense but I was so distracted by the see thru shirt I can't focus on the message. Power to u.👍
I love your hair .
I didn't even notice that. Let's hope she doesn't get demonetized
I’m South African and very few of us have curly or loosely textured natural hair, so it always shocks me when (literal) strangers have the audacity to come up to me to tell me to either cut or comb my 4C hair when it’s in its most shrunken state.
But the compliments I receive when it’s blown out? It’s like existing in two contrasting realities tbh.
Hello I'm a fellow South African from Johannesburg and I fully concur with you .I have full puff afro (have fake 4c locks in profile photo now) I wear it a third of the time and always get prople telling me to relax it or flat iron it . I get what I can " Half compliments "on my afro people say things to the effect of " Your afro is nice but would be better if you got it done " uhm girl bye .
I love these videos!! I’m 18 and have struggled with these problems since I was a baby and my mom used to put relaxer in my hair. These are such important conversations for the natural hair community to have! I’m so glad I found your channel❤️
The crazy thing is that my dad actively told me to my face that I look like a little boy when my hair is in its natural shrunken state. He told me not to leave the house like that anymore, without my edges done and with my hair shrunken. I don’t think I ever did again tbh.
I actually miss my baby loc stage . I miss the frizz and I miss how they were all over the place . That’s a beautiful stage and everyone should embrace it
Everything you said is TRUE PLEASE don't change your channel you're the only person talking about NATURAL hair these days !!
Ur comment section is so refreshing. Ive always found it strange how obsessed we are about length. Or how if someone decides to get a perm or texturizer today after being natural that person may be made to feel like a trader.
I so love your content and your energy, I too totally agree, there is no such thing as an ugly stage, I don't like that phrase 😔. The beginning stage of the loc journey is the best. I actually miss when my locs were wild and all over my head, doing their own thing ❤
I didn't get a job at Publix because I had an afro. It took me to be months down my journey to have some level of eurocentric look to appease their eurocentric work policies. I hate that I had to have a specific look to work for a place..... Then they tried to tell me I needed to trim my locs after my year mark..... I quit
Man sis, you are speaking facts. I sure learned that having short, kinky hair is not valued in this society. It took me many years to fully love my hair. As humans we sometimes want validation from others. When people condemn you for looking a certain way it can really mess with you mentally.
I think you have a point. Having short kinky hair can make us feel vulnerable. When I did my big chop I did feel masculine. Also, short hair as masculine is seen that way across many cultures. But it is radical (in a good way) to want to subvert that. Long hair has a chokehold on us, but I have to say I do like to see long natural (kinky) hair because I personally haven’t seen it too often (not saying it doesn’t exist just what I’ve encountered) I like seeing all the different variations of black (kinky) hair as more women go natural
I appreciate your take, Mayowa! Thank you for sharing your bold viewpoint. I like your straightforward no nonsense approach. Yet still so vulnerable and empassioned about these topics that offend and disturb a lot of us Afro women.
I really love how authentic to yourself you are regardless of how other people react to it. As a Cancer, I know you really feel that shit but you power through for YOUR own sake and that's so beautiful 😍
You are so fly, your hair speaks LIFE to me and skin so smooth and glowing. Thank you for speaking out and living in your truth...Love your light 🥰
I love that you voiced the specialness of having short hair bc when my hair was longer I would miss the shortness sometimes because of various reasons, but shortness is special in its own way and I haven’t heard that voiced before. Ty!!!
This is right on time! I recently have stopped fawning over my hair due to not wanting to deal with it. I wash and throw gel in it and it's natural coily state is so beautiful. I have learned to appreciate each coil and zigzag for what it is. I feel like a wizard when I take a coil and stretch it out. It blows my mind. I'm loving my hair natural shrunken state.
Wow, I love how you articulate so well insecurities that black people usually don't outright talk about but are still moulded by. When wearing my hair naturally, I felt so much more pressure to be "ultra-feminine" to combat any thought that my hair was masculine. I worried about being misgendered, especially during the shorter stage (I wore a wig through the entire thing) and only now that my locs are longer do I feel it's more "acceptable."
Thank you for your videos!
Mayowa, thank you so much for reminding me of how beautiful the big chop/buzzed head phase was for me.
This is such a necessary topic cause I wear a hoodie until my hair gets long enough for me to feel comfortable or I just keep cutting it
Yep my hair isn't kinky but when I cut my 24inches of curly hair I literally was treated different. It was like I was invisible. I grew my hair out then got a tapered fade and this time I made a point to love every stage of my hair and now I don't care what people think of me. Great video
We have to unpack many things in this life. Unlearn what previous generations have passed down. And continue to grow into our authentic selves.
This was dope! TFS!❤️
Video suggestions:
I think #1 it’s your passion that everybody is responding to. Even though you seem to hear the peanut gallery on the other side of the screen, I’m sure you’ll get even better at ignoring them. So a video on whatever is the vibe of the week would probably do!
Maybe one on your 7 go to eyebrow looks?
I’m a guy with collar bone length. I usually get my hair blow dried once a month and do 3 styles, braids, then mini twists, then gel to define my natural curl pattern. I just prefer this because I can get away with not washing my hair for a month and will look good for the whole time. I can wear my hair in twists or curly without blow dry my hair but I honestly don’t like messing with my hair everyday. When my
Hair is blow dried I just have to sleep in a Durag and shake it in the morning basically and it looks good and I don’t get any frizz. It’s also a lot easier for me to detangle when it’s time to wash
This video reminded me how I low-key feel sad when my hair shrivels when I apply water to it after a twist-out. Thinking back I feel a subconscious tinge of sadness and disappointment. Now those feelings have been brought to the forefront, I can look into and question them
I love the points you made about unlearning antiblackness being a journey - not a race and also rushing to find answers doesn't allow you to go deeper. Patience and awareness are key on this journey
Edit - Okay you ended with a bang - our hair is returning to itself, Returning to the Source! We are the Source - Okay I'm done 😄💃🏾
so true like when i wash my hair which i just did last night and the shrinkage was unbearable and my hair was hard to comb at least by watching this video you made me feel better and just appreciate it after all it is my hair
I stopped using combs over 20 years ago. All they were doing was pulling out my hair. I just detangle with my fingers. Once I stopped breaking off my hair by combining it, I was actually able to retain length.
@Bree Yah thanks for the tip you are amazing
I have been looooving these last few videos. So thankful for you!
I wish I could like this video twice
Yessssssss I fucking hate when people say I have so much hair and ask how long it is when it’s straight lmdao I’m like “idk cuz it grows out not down”
you look gorgeous btw, but I feel you, I also have 4c hair, I recently cut my Locs so im in the short kinky stage and its pretty weird with the treatment I get. but I love that you don't check for length, its a whole lot freeing!
loved the video! thank you for making it. I hope more people are able to be gentler with themselves and love their shrunken hair.
Video suggestions:
-storytime about being in or life in Nigeria
-your fashion
-any storytime
-books, tv shows, podcasts, or songs you are enjoying
-going through the different styles of fashion you've worn over the last few years and tell us about the outfit and why it represented you at that moment
Yessss Ofcourse . When I have wigs black people say I’m pretty lmfao when I have my Afro only white people say I’m beautiful hahaha
Why is that? 😭
When I went natural years ago (I’m loc’d now) my own family was calling me nappy headed and my white co workers told me how much they liked my hair. 🤔
Because seeing Afro is different for white people to see
oh lets talk about how long hair isn't just a European or "white'" thing my ancestors had long hair, it was manipulated that way and clay was applied to it, or joined with wool, so no "black" person should feel like they are copying a look of another race...your ancestors or ancestors that look like you did their hair that way looooooooooooong before colonization or slavery.
love your long 4c locs without think anything of it
I found your videos with the one focused on edges. I loved that one and this one is so necessary too. "Me finding validation in length is Anti- Black" I concur! I'm so glad u said it. Yes black women's hair naturally grows short or long but when I'm seeking validation through longer hair. I'm trying to align with European beauty standards which have been socialized for forever as long hair.
Please keep spreading the truth. We need it in the community. It only perpetuates love over self hate!
This is definitely going in one of my TH-cam playlists coz I need to run it back a few times 🔥🙌🏿
Babe, you hit it out the park like all the time. Keep on keeping it 💯 %.
the beauty you see in 'shrunken nappy hair' is so cool. because even me my hair is pretty short (I have 4C hair) and I completely get what you mean by it being 'more protected' the closer it is to my scalp !
Mayowa I love your videos so much, and don't stop doing the charged videos because they really do help put a lot of things in perspective! I be nodding my head so hard to them!
I really appreciated when you brought up how long locs are associated with wisdom and spirituality because I know lots of stupid wicked people with long locs 😩 like where the hell did that come from?! And the obsession with long locs is insane. I've had mine for around 8 years now but because they don't reach my ass people look at me funny like there's something defective with them or me. And at the same time I've also struggled with length because even though this is the longest my hair has been, it has been quite unhealthy, but when I say that I want to cut it people are like nooooo don't cut it just buy XYZ and apply ABC... Also idk if this is just a personal experience or universal to folks with locs but the loose natural ghels really be giving terrible advice and insisting on products to make your hair softer like pls we are not the same at all!
You are so unbelievably beautiful.
As I realize where my insecurities come from and am trying to understand why they're there in the first place, I really grow to despise and hate "eurocentric beauty standards" being the pentacle of beauty
Sometimes we can overthink these things. If someone is comfortable with themselves it shows and things like their hair have less meaning. Just as.long as its healthy and the body is healthy all is well.
As someone who can’t stick to one style I love. I can have super short hair and if I want it longer I just pick her out
I am currently on a loc journey and I feel sooooo beautiful
Most days I leave the house without makeup
Initially when I started I planned to get loc extensions
NOT ANYMORE
Idk that I'd call it "length privilege", but I definitely do include what you were talking about into featurism.
Another thing I thought was important to point out is that stretched hair ( or protective styles) often have a cultural significance in many cultures in Africa; regardless, I think it still makes sense for you to see it stretched hair as anti-black (particularly in the US and countries that are mainly white and/or countries dealing with a lot of colorism/featurism/all of it among black people). Another thing too is that long hair has a long (ha 😂) history of association with fertility and accross many cultures, not just proximity to whiteness (not saying it's good, but it's definitely a thing).
Love your videos 🖤 always here for your insight.
Sending my love, Mayowa ❤️
i literally love your videos, you always talk about the stuff that i need to hear, i love the hoops
I’m sorry.. but looking at how gorgeous that top looks on you reminds me of how I also suffer from shrinkage... in my chest area 😂😂
It’s shrinkage all day for me up top!
Please don’t change your content. You’re saying the things no one says! I understand what that means for you so I’m also here for you doing what works for you and your well being. We’ll be either way ❤️
I like what you said about checking in. I have been loose natural for 3 going on 4 years after doing a big chop and I experienced a lot of out right anti blackness and although I love the freedom Ibhave walked into there is apart of me that does miss the acceptance I had and I do have to check back in with myself and remind myself of the bondage I was in which is the other side of that acceptance and that shows me that it was not worth it and I move forward
Distracted (in a good way?) by your gorgeous somewhat peek-a-boo top! 😍😉🤷♀️