I actually had this experience with a patient. The patient actually wanted to end therapy and it was only because I really “owned” my part in what was going wrong, listened and understood, the patient ended up having a corrective emotional experience, and continued therapy. This is really important. I sometimes get afraid of “this is the patient’s defenses’ fault” type of default that I hear often, when it’s just not that simple. Thanks a lot, again. The story about the doctor at the end moved me!
A fascinating video; I'll have to look into 'the right kind of wrong', thank you. I wanted to ask a question, if I may. I apologise if it might seem rude, however your latest few videos have really caught my interest and are truly fascinating in their depth I'm writing a book where the main character makes a premeditated cruel act out of a sense of survival and to improve his career; the fictional society surrounding him effectively say 'she was a traitor, you made a good decision' however he feels crushing guilt over his mistake. I'm thinking he would suffer PTSD but I'm not sure how he would react to 'I've done something wrong and unforgivable and I should correct this' vs everyone cajoling him and actively supporting him for his cruel act. He will have someone to help him, but it's the reaction and potential methods of helping the person that is difficult for me. Regrettably, I know little of psychology so know little in this field. I suppose my question is: do you know any books or advice about what to do if you know you've done something wrong, but the people around you actively praise you for it? Thank for reading and for the video once again.
No books come immediately to mind but you might want to look into the courage of whistleblowers, like Cassidy Hutchinson or those who hid Jews during Hitler's reign. These folks felt guilty and did something about it, even in the face of massive pressure to go along with the perpetrators.
What do you think about the approach of Carl Rogers? This sounds a lot like his congruence/positive regard concepts. I feel he gets overlooked quite a bit. Great channel by the way! Thank you.
Speaking of "corrective emotional experiences" that you said your patient experienced when she felt able to voice her displeasure surrounding your use of the term "sad sack", I'm curious, did *You* have a "corrective experience" whereby you no longer use that term with patients, knowing how it could potentially land with them...? Or did you just chalk it up to her grossly misinterpreting how you meant it, and you continue to use the term with patients...? Also, I really liked that story you told in one of your previous videos, it went something like this: There was a mom who had a teenage son who was ready to get his drivers license, and his mom asked 2 friends what to do. The first friend said call driver's Ed, and someone will come drive with him and show him how to drive safely. The other friend had a very different recommendation. She handed her a business card that said "Mikes adventure race course track driving school". So she called them. On the first day, they took him out on the track (after spraying it down with water), had him drive, and then suddenly and unexpectedly pulled the emergency hand brake so that he "fishtailed", thus forcing him to "experience" how to course correct in a way that would not be possible by learning about fishtailing through a book. This story always stuck with me, and it would have fit nicely given the title of this video. Great video as always Patricia, thanks!
Good question. I would definitely refrain from labeling people - not helpful. Instead I just describe the phenomenon - "It seems you get anxious and collapse in the face of anger - do you see that?" Staying open to feedback and correcting course is essential.
I actually had this experience with a patient. The patient actually wanted to end therapy and it was only because I really “owned” my part in what was going wrong, listened and understood, the patient ended up having a corrective emotional experience, and continued therapy. This is really important. I sometimes get afraid of “this is the patient’s defenses’ fault” type of default that I hear often, when it’s just not that simple. Thanks a lot, again. The story about the doctor at the end moved me!
Thanks for sharing. I am so glad you had the courage to be transparent and own your part. Wonderful for both of you!
Thanks for your informative discussion of this topic
You are most welcome.
A fascinating video; I'll have to look into 'the right kind of wrong', thank you. I wanted to ask a question, if I may. I apologise if it might seem rude, however your latest few videos have really caught my interest and are truly fascinating in their depth
I'm writing a book where the main character makes a premeditated cruel act out of a sense of survival and to improve his career; the fictional society surrounding him effectively say 'she was a traitor, you made a good decision' however he feels crushing guilt over his mistake.
I'm thinking he would suffer PTSD but I'm not sure how he would react to 'I've done something wrong and unforgivable and I should correct this' vs everyone cajoling him and actively supporting him for his cruel act. He will have someone to help him, but it's the reaction and potential methods of helping the person that is difficult for me. Regrettably, I know little of psychology so know little in this field. I suppose my question is: do you know any books or advice about what to do if you know you've done something wrong, but the people around you actively praise you for it?
Thank for reading and for the video once again.
No books come immediately to mind but you might want to look into the courage of whistleblowers, like Cassidy Hutchinson or those who hid Jews during Hitler's reign. These folks felt guilty and did something about it, even in the face of massive pressure to go along with the perpetrators.
What do you think about the approach of Carl Rogers? This sounds a lot like his congruence/positive regard concepts. I feel he gets overlooked quite a bit. Great channel by the way! Thank you.
While positive regard for the patient is absolutely necessary it is insufficient for achieving ambitious therapeutic outcomes. A lot more is required.
@@patriciacoughlinphd1852 are therapy outcomes not determined by the client?
Speaking of "corrective emotional experiences" that you said your patient experienced when she felt able to voice her displeasure surrounding your use of the term "sad sack", I'm curious, did *You* have a "corrective experience" whereby you no longer use that term with patients, knowing how it could potentially land with them...? Or did you just chalk it up to her grossly misinterpreting how you meant it, and you continue to use the term with patients...?
Also, I really liked that story you told in one of your previous videos, it went something like this:
There was a mom who had a teenage son who was ready to get his drivers license, and his mom asked 2 friends what to do. The first friend said call driver's Ed, and someone will come drive with him and show him how to drive safely.
The other friend had a very different recommendation. She handed her a business card that said "Mikes adventure race course track driving school". So she called them. On the first day, they took him out on the track (after spraying it down with water), had him drive, and then suddenly and unexpectedly pulled the emergency hand brake so that he "fishtailed", thus forcing him to "experience" how to course correct in a way that would not be possible by learning about fishtailing through a book. This story always stuck with me, and it would have fit nicely given the title of this video.
Great video as always Patricia, thanks!
Good question. I would definitely refrain from labeling people - not helpful. Instead I just describe the phenomenon - "It seems you get anxious and collapse in the face of anger - do you see that?" Staying open to feedback and correcting course is essential.