Do you want more information on narcissism and what to do? Join me in my free webinar where I offer tips and tricks. Reserve your seat here. icanslay.com
Fact: they maneuver reality as a game while simultaneously devaluing you in a posture for "Control" & Your response is to observe & respond. (Not react)
Being non-reactive is something I'm currently working on....easier said than done! They are the masters of baiting and triggering. This video is SO helpful because it describes clearly in a no nonsense way what to do and say. It takes practice but the plan is clear. Thank you!
Love yourself at all times. They say something, wait and think. Do I want to dignify this stupidity with my time or just walk away and say to yourself, I am smarter than this. Not worth it.
So in the beginning she loved my smile, Only 6 months in this was the centre of attack, why are you happy, I can see through your smile, stop being so false. I started to question myself, so guess what, I started smiling less, then I started to feel guilty about being happy and grateful, 9 months in my mum said she hasn't seen me smile for a while is everything ok, then a friend said the same, at this point I knew I was in trouble and needed to get out of it. This was the first step back to sanity. Also my friends and family would be a target of attack from her, the very people she tried to remove from my life where the ones who saved me. My smile is returning as is my appreciation for who I am. Happiness isn't a crime
One of your best videos! Indifference to the narcissist is a great thing. They genuinely have a very warped sense of living with zero accountability. There’s no point in wasting one’s breath on a person who tries to transfer their crazy notions onto you. Ty for all the time you spend helping us all. You’re so appreciated.💕
He finally admitted today that making me wrong (even when I’m right or just trying to communicate my feelings) gets him off. He doesn’t discuss things to find resolution and compromise, he discusses so he can prove me wrong. He literally loves it, it’s so sick. He will say the meanest things and says I’m manipulating him when I cry.
RUN. Get a POBox. Don't give him your address. Get a new email address. For You. Get a new phone number, Don't give it to him. Plan an exit and execute it. Get gone. It's possible. And from a safer place you can calm your mind and spirit and heal. After a while Off the Chaos-merry-go-round the Fight won't be as exhausting and your Wins will be sweeter. We're here. You can do this. ❤❤❤
When I started putting boundaries in place, he disappeared. He damaged our apartment breaking down the apartment door because he was angry. When I told him the maintenance men don't want him on the property anymore. I let him know that his behavior was going to get him in jail soon and I had no problem with helping with that. He disappeared.
I've been dealing with a narcissist for over a decade and one thing that always got me thru the sociopathic narcissistic moments is knowing their accusations and confessions.
I'm not totally convinced that narcissism isn't a form of split/multiple personalities. At least in my recent experiences I would not be scared to say these are related or at least on the same branch.
I did this a year ago and the narc is still working her flying monkeys to question me or pressure me when I run into one, which is rare. So it must bug the narc a lot. In this case, it's a covert narc and I like to imagine they're exposing their true nature to anyone who cares to see it. I mean, obsessed.
My alcoholic N husband said he’s been recording our conversations because he thinks I’m unreasonable. I told him “Good !…I hope he listens back to them when he’s sober, so he can discover the truth “
This is helping so much. I’m in the middle of an unwanted divorce and being discarded for the 3rd time. I have had my kids kept from communicating and contact for 38 days. She keeps finding ways to push off court and now wanted to cancel court and go to mediation so now I’m just waiting for a pointless mediation that will get no where but holds up court longer. I just want to talk to and see my kids. My baby girl turns 1 tomorrow and I won’t be able to see or talk to her indefinitely and my 4 year old son is probably wondering where daddy is.
I'm truly sorry for the challenges you're facing. Your strength is admirable. I empathize with the difficulty in communicating with your kids. Your feelings are valid, and I'm here to support you. Wishing you strength and a swift resolution to be with your children. Happy birthday to your baby girl; may you connect with her soon.🙏🏻
@@margareterrickson6019 it’s been 49 days but Friday I was informed that both my lawyer and hers have seen what they needed after discovery and how this situation has played out and I was given Christmas Day and New Year’s Day and mediation is now set for the 9th of January. The wait is over and my babies are going to spend Christmas with me. God is good 💙
When the narc neighbor finally got that I was not going to visit with him every time he spotted me coming and going, that I was not his new best friend…I instantly became his worst enemy. The harassment began.
"NOT GIVING IN" -- I've actually set my boundaries today and I'm glad that the reply was, "I respect your opinion and your feelings" -- I responded with, "Thank you, I appreciate it." "DON'T FEED THE HUNGER" -- NO LONGER INTERESTED, APATHY, DISINTEREST... WHATEVER...
He wants you to go so nobody will ask why you aren’t there and wonder if there are problems. “Problems” will make HIM look bad. I guarantee you that’s the reason.
You know what , a new thing crops up from somewhere and you do need to go behind asking them .. and they enjoy seeing us going mad . Like my husband went for registering our new apartment and took my authority just to sign on my behalf , not that I gave him the attorney . But I went suddenly mad when he said he was going to leave the papers in his sister’s house instead of our own house where his brother lives , but in our room . So I felt why the hell , why not in our home . Now he knows that I am having a hard time finding out if he has taken the apartment in his name . He is giving me a very hard time not answering it and not talking at all about this .
I represented myself against him with an atty, I made a small list of what exactly I wanted, in my written response I buried those things in others that were overblown, I ended up settling for everything I wanted and then some pretending to negotiate. Playing the role he expected and be triggered the entire time, it was very satisfying, thankfully no children, he went away and left me alone only attempted to Hoover me by text a couple times, ignoring them he got the message, freedom!
How are narcissists allowed to use the courts as their playground? At what point are they declared vexatious litigants and no longer permitted to abuse people anymore? What does it take for the courts to ban them?
I see you …. Can’t THANK you enough! My 3rd n last narcissist. 2 previous friends …. Love of my life for 44 yrs . Ugh ! Working on it ….NOT . ❤ “U” , for ur knowledge! BTW , Hope u had a very Happy Valentines Day . 💕
Rebecca, i have zero doubt that the Lord Jesus has just used you. This video came at the exact time i was about to tell my active Alcoholic 69 year old sister that i had the Ace in the whole for a grudge she is holding against me. She heard what i said and intentionally ignored me in regards to MY child. Then your video came up and it proved that my sister is a Narcissist. She has poisoned family against me. Our Mom just died and we live in two different states. She is well off and i am poor. She intentionally left me, literally for dead,.more then once, but can't see where she has done anyone wrong...or won't. Now she is trying to set me up to be hated, when i am grieving for the loss of our Mom. You confirmed it...she won't and i need to let her go and just pray from a distance. Thank you so much ❤ You have been such a lifesaver at times and i appreciate you doing these videos for us all. The good people get empathy from their pain. I am an Adult Survivor of childhood grooming and sexual abuse. I would do just about anything to protect the innocent!
I am out now from my hell, but I find this information important. I’ll learn these things, learn to control the expression of my emotions better and be prepared: there are narcissists everywhere. If I just could avoid letting them to my daily life, it would be a big improvement + learning these negotiation skills.
Understanding that the things they say and do to you are actually all about them it only feels personal because they are doing it to you and if you're a good person you don't understand why people would act this way or say these things so it is very confusing for a while but then when you understand that what they're doing and saying is really all about them it's much easier to just kind of watch them be themselves I guess.
this is one of your most powerful compilations that sets a seal in one's core defining what it means to have a life. Thankyou again RZ for the enormous gift that you are to people like myself who needed to hear this so much. You are an absolute blessing.
I'm so lucky my narc lives in another house. Trying to smear me online and bait me in messages. Much easier to control my reactions. I used to live with one and I barely escaped with a trash bag of clothes. The next gf charged him with criminal confinement. I'm working on myself trying to purge the part of my personality that attracts these kinds of people.
This is great advice. Advice I practiced for about a month before it became exhausting being the bigger person every time. Every person can only take so much. This works well when dealing with strangers in the world or navigating through random issues in life, but acting indifferent with the same person over & over suppresses true emotions that end up bottled up. Creates a lot of internal stress. If dealing with a narc, the best route to take is No Contact.
Had someone practice medicine on me via an esthetician. He's suing me for defamation. We just handed in items for discovery. There is a doctor in the background behind the scenes. Thank you for teaching me how to react in court when I testify and when she diposes me. NOT GIVING IN!
Put not emotion into explaining how you remember events. Just calmly explain. Also agree to disagree and politely end the conversation and walk away! "I'm walking away from this conversation". Especially if the Convo turns heated or is being lead or controlled by them. My voice matters. My experiences matter. I trust myself. I trust myself. I trust myself. I am going to start to believe it. Thank you ma'am. I'll speak to you about A and B but not C or D. Push your limits, be clear about what your going to speak about otherwise your going to be lead by them in how the Convo will go. Thank you
Same when my grandson said loudly to me " we don't like you" , i said " news flash! I don't like you either but i still have to make sure you don't hurt yourselves!". He was 5. We then started getting along then BAM!! I was mistreating the gaffer and they were afraid to leave the little guy in my care. Whew!!
Also i was obnoxiously out numbered , one day couldn't help enough, to the next, too up their biz by trying to play with the kids. Ugh. Enough. horse lip flip flappin away....
You couldnt be more correct, I mean this is an exact description. No fuel no fire, do not feed the hunger. The way i deal with it now is to never ever have a welcoming tone or vibe. Basically im an ass all the time and everytime in every situation
I see you. I do this a lot for self preservation. Sometimes it makes them angry, and they explode "what are you talking about". I just smile, when I do leave this realm, I do want to have a smile on my face....
Can't believe you've not seen Gaslight. There's two different movies. Both based on the play. The first, released in 1940, and known as Angel Street in the US, is British, and stars Anton Walbrook and Diana Wynyard. The second, from 1942, an American production, stars Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman. The British film is my personal favourite as it adheres most closely to the original stage play
There's always a case being built up so not engaging is the best option. One cannot reason w/evil. The hypocritical, grandiose nature is impenetrable. Unfortunately, the shoe just has to drop one way (or another.) And hopefully is w/the minimal outside casualties.
This was a Full circumference of help. I really appreciate you! Ready 2 mentally & Maturely kick his butt without caring anymore, but still moving on in a continuous positive way. How i am anyway 🎉
1:33:02 they literally think they own you. And you are to sit on the shelf until they are ready to play with you again. Think of the kids toy “woody” in Toy story. You were once the best toy and now you’re in the bottom of the toy box.
I see you. Easier said then done. Going down like a fire ball. Isolated. Keeper down. Not at all my self former self. Covenant with direction. And with boundless energy. All my endeavors were accomplished. No ego, just making the best of life. Sure bumps along the way. Then the control . This person was becoming me. Now I am a shell of who I was and have become second string due to a fall. Brain injury. And completely depending on this person. The love booming. Trusted everything. Then I have found myself in trouble with the law. I can’t say anymore because I’m not allowed to speak of it. I’ve never been in trouble. I am now. Help
You can't depend on someone who is literally unavailable. Confide in U'r Physician. There are wonderful options including free relocation from 2 men & a truck etc. 🙏🙏🙏
No contact. Absolutely no contact. If you can’t afford a therapist there are lots of really good TH-cam videos. I recommend Sam Vaknin. Let’s require repeat listening. Once you understand how it works you can start working on yourself to recover your inner self.
Sometimes I can find too much informtion depressing, especilly long videos I don't wish to think of the nrcissists for more than an hour,,, somethimes you need something light-hearted+ to not be giving them all your energy which can bring you down,you know? Sometimes the short n sweet ones are much more beneficial Much love +God bless everyone affected by nrcissm 😥😰🌼🌳🌞🌳🙏
We have weekend visits and he decided to change his weekend schedule just to our son - I just emailed stated it’s not your weekend this weekend/ your weekend is next weekend! He email back OK ✅ LOL
I was said to stop the rollout of a long empty belittling conversation of some thought that i didn't know about " what i was talking about ".... oh yes ...i know you don't like anything i do or say. The conversation ended.
I see you.... I see him keeping our daughter from me, the dentist 😢her friends and family.... and he's a registered sex offender from when she was 2 for getting caught with a supposed 15 year old girl... you're my SANITY! I always pray to God for sole physical custody and sole medical decision making 🙏 ❤
Recently subscribed guy here,,, I had a grandiose narcissist neighbor who I Recently kicked him out of my life. He is ignoring me now which is Wonderful but I do plan to continue ignoring him,, such a attention Hog. But thank you for the Great advice Rebecca
I TRUST MY SELF. (This is a big leap for me but I am starting to do it). And I forget that they are always in it for supply... but now I can start remembering it with a bow on my finger. 👈🎀
I feel like my insignificance upsets me too sometimes, I'm low status in the family and they let me know it. But I don't want to hurt or use people in my life to fleetingly feel 'better'. But my mum can't handle her own emotions let alone mine so she has projected on to me for decades that I am sensitive and paranoid. When I asked her to stop, rather than confront her own defensiveness and martyrdom and victimhood she labelled me angry while she stonewalled me, smeared me and shamed me. My mum very definitely deals with her own insignificance by shaming me, and portraying me to be mad, bad, sad and angry.
Very superficial thinking on their part, I trust myself!, they can’t devalue someone they never valued, they don’t determine my value in the first place
Thank you for everything you :-For all your insights enlightenment:-Sometimes I can find too much informtion depressing, especilly long videos I don't wish to think of the nrcissists for more than an hour,,, somethimes you need something light-hearted+ to not be giving them all your energy which can bring you down,you know? Sometimes the short n sweet ones are much more beneficial Much love +God bless everyone affected by nrcissm 😥😰🌼🌳🌞🌳🙏
@@kimgordon3695 it were not a criticism+it depends upon a person's lifestyle The length for you,,, might've been comprehensible However,for some,the shorter ones Rebecca Zung,does so extremely well are much more practical, attainable at just for exmple 20minutes,than 1 hour 38 minutes,which can sometimes just be too much to fit in+ ab sorb Short + sweet works best for some lifestyles,but this doesn't mke her insights enlightenment less worthy
Married for 38 years I have been doing things what in-laws family likes for 37 years to be in their good books Finally had enough I still married Bt I shut them Out of my life now I just zone the out of my life I just do what I need to do and carry on
Thanks for sharing ❤️ while true and this all sounds so logical and easy; As long as there is an emotional attachment (imho), I don't think it is achievemable. It wasn't until I finally managed to let go emotionally that I was finally capable of getting that inner peace needed to follow through with this. I am in the same space for the time being, so it is essential to keep this mindset without feelings of anger, revenge, and ego. I hope that she won't be able to trigger me anymore. I still feel sorry for her even though she is meaner than a tasmanian devil (I know : most people won't understand), and that is where I must keep up my guard.
Lot of the stuff you talk about works great for people that are 20 and 30 and maybe 40 but what about us people in at 60 70s we don’t worry about a lot of stuff that people like that do but we’re still living with a narcissist
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Do you want more information on narcissism and what to do? Join me in my free webinar where I offer tips and tricks. Reserve your seat here. icanslay.com
I'll see you all there!
Fact: they maneuver reality as a game while simultaneously devaluing you in a posture for "Control" & Your response is to observe & respond. (Not react)
@@RebeccaZungEsq 💞🙋
I see you
@@RebeccaZungEsq+
Being non-reactive is something I'm currently working on....easier said than done! They are the masters of baiting and triggering. This video is SO helpful because it describes clearly in a no nonsense way what to do and say. It takes practice but the plan is clear. Thank you!
Love yourself at all times. They say something, wait and think. Do I want to dignify this stupidity with my time or just walk away and say to yourself, I am smarter than this. Not worth it.
Have NO NO NO emotional Fears. Be Firm ! Stand firm !!!
Courageous 😬 🤠 feel strong!!!
No Fear
I see you...I heard you...*shrug*. NOT giving in! Do NOT get emotional, focus on the facts! NEVER Explain Justify or Overshare!
Yes you have to watch EVERYTHING you say because everything is kept track of by them so do your OWN keeping track
Freedom of speech matters or they will be set on fire from the last 2 prophets to earth.
I’m sorry but your replies are not visible to me
💞
Yes, I take notes during a discussion. Especially when I didn't and confronted them about a comment, they immediately denied saying it.
So in the beginning she loved my smile,
Only 6 months in this was the centre of attack, why are you happy, I can see through your smile, stop being so false. I started to question myself, so guess what, I started smiling less, then I started to feel guilty about being happy and grateful, 9 months in my mum said she hasn't seen me smile for a while is everything ok, then a friend said the same, at this point I knew I was in trouble and needed to get out of it. This was the first step back to sanity. Also my friends and family would be a target of attack from her, the very people she tried to remove from my life where the ones who saved me.
My smile is returning as is my appreciation for who I am. Happiness isn't a crime
Consider yourself lucky that you picked up on it relatively early. I hope all is good now. Wish you the best, bro!
Exactly what happened to me
❤
One of your best videos! Indifference to the narcissist is a great thing. They genuinely have a very warped sense of living with zero accountability. There’s no point in wasting one’s breath on a person who tries to transfer their crazy notions onto you. Ty for all the time you spend helping us all. You’re so appreciated.💕
He finally admitted today that making me wrong (even when I’m right or just trying to communicate my feelings) gets him off. He doesn’t discuss things to find resolution and compromise, he discusses so he can prove me wrong. He literally loves it, it’s so sick. He will say the meanest things and says I’m manipulating him when I cry.
My situation has been the same. Stay strong
My wife to a T
Run.
@@Aussie.in.America I’m driving away and made it halfway home today. Thanks for the support.
RUN. Get a POBox. Don't give him your address.
Get a new email address. For You. Get a new phone number, Don't give it to him.
Plan an exit and execute it. Get gone. It's possible.
And from a safer place you can calm your mind and spirit and heal.
After a while Off the Chaos-merry-go-round the Fight won't be as exhausting and your Wins will be sweeter.
We're here. You can do this. ❤❤❤
I'll agree, don't give them supply, let em starve.
When I started putting boundaries in place, he disappeared. He damaged our apartment breaking down the apartment door because he was angry. When I told him the maintenance men don't want him on the property anymore. I let him know that his behavior was going to get him in jail soon and I had no problem with helping with that. He disappeared.
I've been dealing with a narcissist for over a decade and one thing that always got me thru the sociopathic narcissistic moments is knowing their accusations and confessions.
They accuse others of their bad character flaws.
I'm not totally convinced that narcissism isn't a form of split/multiple personalities. At least in my recent experiences I would not be scared to say these are related or at least on the same branch.
Do not give in! Just ignore, go no contact! This is the best way to punish the narc and I love it 🤣
TOTALLY!
I did this a year ago and the narc is still working her flying monkeys to question me or pressure me when I run into one, which is rare. So it must bug the narc a lot. In this case, it's a covert narc and I like to imagine they're exposing their true nature to anyone who cares to see it. I mean, obsessed.
It's hard when it's your own son when you are with them everyday!
In my love bombing stage she totally nuked me ! Now she has gotten so cold ! Due to attachment issues its been difficult to stay away !
My alcoholic N husband said he’s been recording our conversations because he thinks I’m unreasonable. I told him “Good !…I hope he listens back to them when he’s sober, so he can discover the truth “
😂
This is helping so much. I’m in the middle of an unwanted divorce and being discarded for the 3rd time. I have had my kids kept from communicating and contact for 38 days. She keeps finding ways to push off court and now wanted to cancel court and go to mediation so now I’m just waiting for a pointless mediation that will get no where but holds up court longer. I just want to talk to and see my kids. My baby girl turns 1 tomorrow and I won’t be able to see or talk to her indefinitely and my 4 year old son is probably wondering where daddy is.
I'm truly sorry for the challenges you're facing. Your strength is admirable. I empathize with the difficulty in communicating with your kids. Your feelings are valid, and I'm here to support you. Wishing you strength and a swift resolution to be with your children. Happy birthday to your baby girl; may you connect with her soon.🙏🏻
I can only imagine that pain. If you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here! You are valid
@@margareterrickson6019 it’s been 49 days but Friday I was informed that both my lawyer and hers have seen what they needed after discovery and how this situation has played out and I was given Christmas Day and New Year’s Day and mediation is now set for the 9th of January. The wait is over and my babies are going to spend Christmas with me. God is good 💙
When the narc neighbor finally got that I was not going to visit with him every time he spotted me coming and going, that I was not his new best friend…I instantly became his worst enemy. The harassment began.
@@cynthiadidier977 been there
Been there
"NOT GIVING IN" -- I've actually set my boundaries today and I'm glad that the reply was, "I respect your opinion and your feelings" -- I responded with, "Thank you, I appreciate it."
"DON'T FEED THE HUNGER" -- NO LONGER INTERESTED, APATHY, DISINTEREST... WHATEVER...
According to her, I was either controlling and weak, sometimes even at the same time. I like and try to believe I'm not
We've been fighting all day and now he wants me to go to his sister's house for a party tonight no way well I go it'll be bad I want to stay home
He wants you to go so nobody will ask why you aren’t there and wonder if there are problems. “Problems” will make HIM look bad. I guarantee you that’s the reason.
@@KRzzzzzzzz hurry up there's problems I want my own place and I'm looking just can't find one yet
@@debbiecarleton2101 I wish you the best ✌🏼
That's a set up so he can go alone.
You know what , a new thing crops up from somewhere and you do need to go behind asking them .. and they enjoy seeing us going mad . Like my husband went for registering our new apartment and took my authority just to sign on my behalf , not that I gave him the attorney . But I went suddenly mad when he said he was going to leave the papers in his sister’s house instead of our own house where his brother lives , but in our room . So I felt why the hell , why not in our home . Now he knows that I am having a hard time finding out if he has taken the apartment in his name . He is giving me a very hard time not answering it and not talking at all about this .
Thank you Rebecca, that's wonderful and it's a whole process to get to this point. I stay much stronger now. Love to all in that pain.
You deserve better, Radz! Stay strong! 💪
I represented myself against him with an atty, I made a small list of what exactly I wanted, in my written response I buried those things in others that were overblown, I ended up settling for everything I wanted and then some pretending to negotiate. Playing the role he expected and be triggered the entire time, it was very satisfying, thankfully no children, he went away and left me alone only attempted to Hoover me by text a couple times, ignoring them he got the message, freedom!
"I TRUST MYSELF"
I SEE You. I Hear You. Thank for the helpful teaching lesson.
How are narcissists allowed to use the courts as their playground? At what point are they declared vexatious litigants and no longer permitted to abuse people anymore? What does it take for the courts to ban them?
The legal system lives off OTHER people's $$$. It's set up that way. A house divided against itself cannot stand & they know that.
I see you
How are you doing now? Hope you're feeling well and getting your power back! 💪
This might help - slay.rebeccazung.com/
I see you
"I see YOU, ..." (I'm monitoring my thoughts & therefore my response) Great tactic Rebecca! 💞🙋
response: ~ "I hear you...
That wasn't my experience"
"Shut Them down"
57:00 "I will stop now!"
Thank you! And, I hope you stay in the light!!❤
I see you …. Can’t THANK you enough!
My 3rd n last narcissist. 2 previous friends …. Love of my life for 44 yrs . Ugh ! Working on it ….NOT . ❤ “U” , for ur knowledge! BTW , Hope u had a very Happy Valentines Day . 💕
You Are a POWER HOUSE!!! HUGE THANK YOU for Helping us to Navigate
You got this! 💪
So far you have given the best tips on how to cope with and shut down a narcissist. Thank you
Rebecca, i have zero doubt that the Lord Jesus has just used you. This video came at the exact time i was about to tell my active Alcoholic 69 year old sister that i had the Ace in the whole for a grudge she is holding against me. She heard what i said and intentionally ignored me in regards to MY child. Then your video came up and it proved that my sister is a Narcissist. She has poisoned family against me. Our Mom just died and we live in two different states. She is well off and i am poor. She intentionally left me, literally for dead,.more then once, but can't see where she has done anyone wrong...or won't. Now she is trying to set me up to be hated, when i am grieving for the loss of our Mom. You confirmed it...she won't and i need to let her go and just pray from a distance. Thank you so much ❤ You have been such a lifesaver at times and i appreciate you doing these videos for us all. The good people get empathy from their pain. I am an Adult Survivor of childhood grooming and sexual abuse. I would do just about anything to protect the innocent!
I am out now from my hell, but I find this information important. I’ll learn these things, learn to control the expression of my emotions better and be prepared: there are narcissists everywhere. If I just could avoid letting them to my daily life, it would be a big improvement + learning these negotiation skills.
I see you, I trust myself
You got this! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop
I see you, thank you for your time and consideration for allowing us to have these encouraging empowerment of our thoughts. Rebecca
I'm glad to be helping! What is one point that you start using today?
Dsmn girl. It's makes perfect sense. In all matters. I love how you bring tha law into the mix. No more running scared.
Definitely gonna Study this, No More Feeding it!
I do trust myself, but not enough to walk away yet I’m still healing. It sucks, but that’s the honest to God truth.
Understanding that the things they say and do to you are actually all about them it only feels personal because they are doing it to you and if you're a good person you don't understand why people would act this way or say these things so it is very confusing for a while but then when you understand that what they're doing and saying is really all about them it's much easier to just kind of watch them be themselves I guess.
I found I couldn’t ac like my normal self around the narc. I didn’t know how to behave or regulate my feelings.
If you think you're a good person, you're a narc. Nobody is wholly good or bad.
this is one of your most powerful compilations that sets a seal in one's core defining what it means to have a life. Thankyou again RZ for the enormous gift that you are to people like myself who needed to hear this so much. You are an absolute blessing.
thank you for always reminding me that I hold the power within me and nobody can take it without my permission!
Thank you for your kind words, sending you lots of love and positivity. ❤
I trust myself
I'm so lucky my narc lives in another house. Trying to smear me online and bait me in messages. Much easier to control my reactions. I used to live with one and I barely escaped with a trash bag of clothes. The next gf charged him with criminal confinement. I'm working on myself trying to purge the part of my personality that attracts these kinds of people.
This is great advice. Advice I practiced for about a month before it became exhausting being the bigger person every time. Every person can only take so much. This works well when dealing with strangers in the world or navigating through random issues in life, but acting indifferent with the same person over & over suppresses true emotions that end up bottled up. Creates a lot of internal stress. If dealing with a narc, the best route to take is No Contact.
I NAMAslayed with Rebecca’s knowledge and expertise with no reactions from me!
You got this! NAMAslay! 💪
Had someone practice medicine on me via an esthetician. He's suing me for defamation. We just handed in items for discovery. There is a doctor in the background behind the scenes. Thank you for teaching me how to react in court when I testify and when she diposes me. NOT GIVING IN!
Never explain ,justify, or overshare
Great job!! This is very valuable information! Thank You!!!
Put not emotion into explaining how you remember events. Just calmly explain. Also agree to disagree and politely end the conversation and walk away! "I'm walking away from this conversation". Especially if the Convo turns heated or is being lead or controlled by them. My voice matters. My experiences matter. I trust myself. I trust myself. I trust myself. I am going to start to believe it. Thank you ma'am. I'll speak to you about A and B but not C or D. Push your limits, be clear about what your going to speak about otherwise your going to be lead by them in how the Convo will go.
Thank you
I will stop explaining myself
Feel FULLY CONFIDENT COURAGEOUS Invincible very WISE. EXPERIENCED, WISE TO !!! STAND FIRM !!! 👍👍👍👍👍
Same when my grandson said loudly to me " we don't like you" , i said " news flash! I don't like you either but i still have to make sure you don't hurt yourselves!". He was 5. We then started getting along then BAM!! I was mistreating the gaffer and they were afraid to leave the little guy in my care. Whew!!
Literally I just did a horse lip flap at them and left.
Also i was obnoxiously out numbered , one day couldn't help enough, to the next, too up their biz by trying to play with the kids. Ugh. Enough. horse lip flip flappin away....
You couldnt be more correct, I mean this is an exact description. No fuel no fire, do not feed the hunger. The way i deal with it now is to never ever have a welcoming tone or vibe. Basically im an ass all the time and everytime in every situation
I see you.
I do this a lot for self preservation. Sometimes it makes them angry, and they explode "what are you talking about". I just smile, when I do leave this realm, I do want to have a smile on my face....
Can't believe you've not seen Gaslight. There's two different movies. Both based on the play. The first, released in 1940, and known as Angel Street in the US, is British, and stars Anton Walbrook and Diana Wynyard. The second, from 1942, an American production, stars Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman.
The British film is my personal favourite as it adheres most closely to the original stage play
There's always a case being built up so not engaging is the best option. One cannot reason w/evil. The hypocritical, grandiose nature is impenetrable. Unfortunately, the shoe just has to drop one way (or another.) And hopefully is w/the minimal outside casualties.
So true! Habius Corpus. 101
This was a Full circumference of help. I really appreciate you! Ready 2 mentally & Maturely kick his butt without caring anymore, but still moving on in a continuous positive way. How i am anyway 🎉
My son's ex-wife does all of this.
It's just so sad that they have to communicate because they share the children.
I'm tired of giving into the way I accept this emotional response to your voice.
1:33:02 they literally think they own you. And you are to sit on the shelf until they are ready to play with you again. Think of the kids toy “woody” in Toy story. You were once the best toy and now you’re in the bottom of the toy box.
NEVER OR EXPLAIN OR JUSTIFY MYSELF!!!
Never explain or justify
I see you. Easier said then done. Going down like a fire ball. Isolated. Keeper down. Not at all my self former self.
Covenant with direction. And with boundless energy. All my endeavors were accomplished. No ego, just making the best of life. Sure bumps along the way.
Then the control . This person was becoming me. Now I am a shell of who I was and have become second string due to a fall. Brain injury. And completely depending on this person. The love booming. Trusted everything.
Then I have found myself in trouble with the law. I can’t say anymore because I’m not allowed to speak of it. I’ve never been in trouble. I am now.
Help
You can't depend on someone who is literally unavailable. Confide in U'r Physician. There are wonderful options including free relocation from 2 men & a truck etc. 🙏🙏🙏
No contact. Absolutely no contact.
If you can’t afford a therapist there are lots of really good TH-cam videos. I recommend Sam Vaknin. Let’s require repeat listening. Once you understand how it works you can start working on yourself to recover your inner self.
I trust Myself!!!!
I love the law. When it really matters
I really love you for the way you have explained . God bless you
Me too. Smart Girl Energy! 🧠
Sometimes I can find too much informtion depressing, especilly long videos
I don't wish to think of the nrcissists for more than an hour,,, somethimes you need something light-hearted+ to not be giving them all your energy which can bring you down,you know?
Sometimes the short n sweet ones are much more beneficial
Much love +God bless everyone affected by nrcissm 😥😰🌼🌳🌞🌳🙏
Thank you so much. You got this!
I trust myself !
We have weekend visits and he decided to change his weekend schedule just to our son - I just emailed stated it’s not your weekend this weekend/ your weekend is next weekend! He email back OK ✅ LOL
Magical CARDS games plays. Theatrical acting emotional etc.
🏆 winner thinking!
“Gaslight”-good movie, worth seeing.
In caregiving we call it Benevolent Manipulation and when the motives and actions are morally aligned, it is the best method to get some peace!
I was said to stop the rollout of a long empty belittling conversation of some thought that i didn't know about " what i was talking about ".... oh yes ...i know you don't like anything i do or say. The conversation ended.
Typo ( was ) I said , to stop .......
I see you.... I see him keeping our daughter from me, the dentist 😢her friends and family.... and he's a registered sex offender from when she was 2 for getting caught with a supposed 15 year old girl... you're my SANITY! I always pray to God for sole physical custody and sole medical decision making 🙏 ❤
Recently subscribed guy here,,, I had a grandiose narcissist neighbor who I Recently kicked him out of my life. He is ignoring me now which is Wonderful but I do plan to continue ignoring him,, such a attention Hog. But thank you for the Great advice Rebecca
I TRUST MY SELF. (This is a big leap for me but I am starting to do it). And I forget that they are always in it for supply... but now I can start remembering it with a bow on my finger. 👈🎀
I feel like my insignificance upsets me too sometimes, I'm low status in the family and they let me know it. But I don't want to hurt or use people in my life to fleetingly feel 'better'. But my mum can't handle her own emotions let alone mine so she has projected on to me for decades that I am sensitive and paranoid. When I asked her to stop, rather than confront her own defensiveness and martyrdom and victimhood she labelled me angry while she stonewalled me, smeared me and shamed me. My mum very definitely deals with her own insignificance by shaming me, and portraying me to be mad, bad, sad and angry.
Im here for you. Your feelings are valid and you are not crazy!
Very superficial thinking on their part, I trust myself!, they can’t devalue someone they never valued, they don’t determine my value in the first place
Appreciate this.
Do not feed the hunger! Do not feed the fire!
Thank you for everything you :-For all your insights enlightenment:-Sometimes I can find too much informtion depressing, especilly long videos
I don't wish to think of the nrcissists for more than an hour,,, somethimes you need something light-hearted+ to not be giving them all your energy which can bring you down,you know?
Sometimes the short n sweet ones are much more beneficial
Much love +God bless everyone affected by nrcissm 😥😰🌼🌳🌞🌳🙏
This length was Comprehensive!!!
@@kimgordon3695 it were not a criticism+it depends upon a person's lifestyle
The length for you,,, might've been comprehensible
However,for some,the shorter ones Rebecca Zung,does so extremely well are much more practical, attainable at just for exmple 20minutes,than 1 hour 38 minutes,which can sometimes just be too much to fit in+ ab sorb
Short + sweet works best for some lifestyles,but this doesn't mke her insights enlightenment less worthy
I agree!
@@vogeljennifer6318 God bless you Sincere Soul
Hope life's being gracious to you these times🙏
What a great combo vid, thank you!!
Thank YOU! And, I hope you stay in the light!
NO FEAR!!!
Wish I had this video 2 days ago! Thanks Rebecca.
I know!!! But it will come just in time for something else.
I trust myself.
I trust myself
You got this! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop
Do not feed the hunger!
They lie on their own kids trying to gaslight you because they know your kids mean the world to you.
Never explain or justify.!!!!
I see you. Never leave your thoughts unsupervised
I trust myself! I trust my self!
Omg this video is sooooooooooooo true, everything in it. Thank you so much for this truth 🙏🏻✨
Yes high vibration, self love! U are so awesome! Thank u for helping out the masses!! 🎉❤🎉
Married for 38 years
I have been doing things what in-laws family likes for 37 years to be in their good books
Finally had enough
I still married Bt I shut them
Out of my life now
I just zone the out of my life
I just do what I need to do and carry on
Very very helpful. Seems like everything I’m going thru. Thank you so much!
I see you.. I trust myself..
You got this! ❤ Join me in my free webinar - www.rebeccazung.com/cert-workshop
Thanks for sharing ❤️ while true and this all sounds so logical and easy; As long as there is an emotional attachment (imho), I don't think it is achievemable. It wasn't until I finally managed to let go emotionally that I was finally capable of getting that inner peace needed to follow through with this. I am in the same space for the time being, so it is essential to keep this mindset without feelings of anger, revenge, and ego. I hope that she won't be able to trigger me anymore. I still feel sorry for her even though she is meaner than a tasmanian devil (I know : most people won't understand), and that is where I must keep up my guard.
Incredibly helpful - thank you!
I TRUST MYSELF!!
I trust myself.
Im not scared and i have no feelings emotions and i see her loud clear as day
Lot of the stuff you talk about works great for people that are 20 and 30 and maybe 40 but what about us people in at 60 70s we don’t worry about a lot of stuff that people like that do but we’re still living with a narcissist
Not giving in, i just ordered your book on amazon, Slay the bully, cant wait to get it
I trust myself, I trust myself
My sister likes feeling powerful. She admitted to that a long time ago.
I trust my self
No fear!
NEVER EXPLAIN & JUSTIFY!!