Their devaluation is premeditated. Long before they even met you. They were going to secure you. Period. And They go into it knowing they will devalue you. The devaluing phase is a projection of who they first saw you as. It’s not a random phase of betrayal. they never had value/love for you. it’s their most flawless technic at getting rid of everyone. As they smile in your face and kiss you and laugh with you and hold hands with you and go on dates and to the movies. This evil is living in them. They quietly keep a record of everything they are going to use to get rid of you. It’s not about perfection, it’s about destruction and going on to the next high. The only thing that matters is that they get rid of you. Not the truth, not your feelings, not your history, not who they know you are, not who you think they are. Nothing you can or will ever say will change it. Once they start openly devaluing you it’s like a terminal illness. They are about to kill everything you thought was real. In your mind you think “we can fix this” what you will suffer to understand is that there was never anything to fix or to nurture and grow. It’s like that moment you realize something valuable was stolen and you’ll never get it back. Theif isn’t going to climb back into your window and return your belongings. It’s gone.
Once you see them for who they really are, It can’t be unseen. They are not worth it and they will never change. I took him back twice and it was worse every time. Please get out and let them self destruct on their own.
Narcs keep swinging from tree to tree. 🐒 A bunch of nut jobs who temporarily trick you. Turtles win the race. Take it slow and you’ll have a much better life.
It's so important to refrain from trying to help them. The natural impulse is to want to reach out and make sure they're ok. As sure as the sun rises in the morning, your kindness will be used against you. They can't help it. Sometimes the greatest act of love is to simply let someone suffer in their own self-made hell.
It took me an indescribable amount of work strength blood sweat and tears and agony to train to be strong enough to defeat them but I did. Physical mental and spiritual discipline will overcome them.
1: To get you under control 2: To harvest narcissistic supply ( the feeling of validation, and that they are superior to you) realise that even if the narcissist seems highly functional or even successful or intelligent. They are insane at their core, and lack contact with reality. They are in a constant state of " craweing" for attention/power/resources/status/validation and can never rest or feel satisfied/contentment. They will manipulate us ( the victim), to think that they are independent, content, secure, cool, sexy, smart or if they are a covert narcissist, they will act insecure and use a victim mask to manipulate us to give them attention/sooth them and so on. But under the surface they are all the same, and are driven by the need for point 1-2. There is nothing more to them. And they never change.
O Joe…so nearly 9 months since he ghosted he pops up yesterday…😬….not gonna lie it has knocked me back BUT found it easy to just ignore…I feel genuine sadness for these people & have had no problem sending him healing & kindness mentally. I have learnt so much..thanks to you & am now a better person because of the whole experience. If I could hug you I would (although probably best not as I’d crush you 😂). Thankyou from the bottom of my heart. You have been like a dear friend & mentor the past few months. God bless you 🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️
9mos is a whole lot time. What way did he hoover or try contact you by? Whatd he say? Im bout hit 9mos too w my ex narky gf. No hoovers yet but some indications she may try. 😢
Can you do a video on Narcissist that you went no contact on, spying on You and also trying to make you jealous cus nothing else is working or causing you to react or reach out
I second that request Joe and love your material I'm going through the exact same thing described above and have been for 10 years while I'm making it abundantly clear I'm not interested!!
@@joebhousehey joe, if I may give another suggestion for a future video, something I feel would be really interesting for you to cover more in-depth is how and why narcissists have an ownership mindset with their former supplies.. like it’s literally as if they think you belong to them and only them and feel that they are entitled to do whatever they want to you, even far after the relationship is over and you have gone no contact.
Such a good suggestion. I need advice on this too. So many fake accounts have been trying to add me - I don't accept them. Now he drives passed my house slowly at night time so I have permanently keep my curtains shut. I love my home but all this stalking behaviour is making me considering moving. My daughter doesn't want to move so I feel trapped 😕
Narcs discard intentionally without a valid reason because they love the attention of the chase, the begging, they relentless apologizing, and taking the work of blame from them. They must push the feeling of remorse, guilt shame and fear back on to you in order to feel justified in their crappy behavior and mistreatment of you it's the fuel that helps them feel like they are ok when they know they're not.
My narcissistic ex profoundly hurt me in multiple ways. Somehow I still love her, so like you said, I do wish her well from a distance. I absolutely will not allow her to have another opportunity to destroy me, though. It’s amazing I was able to get away considering the circumstances.
You can't reach out and try to help them even through positive thoughts. You risk the danger of subconsciously letting your guard down and allowing yourself to be hoovered back. You have healed and are back to being your very high vibrational self and are highly desirable to the narc. So, no, no mercy for the narc at perhaps your expense and undo all the healing that took painful steps to achieve 😊
You’re a good man Joe, thank you 🙏! Save the man, not the marriage. When a Cluster B is involved, there is no hope for them as they know that they are broken. They came for one thing and one thing only…. “The Package” by A Perfect Circle ⭕️! H.O.P.E. Hold On Pain Ends Stay alert! Stay alive! Stay strong! Peace ✌️
Been 8.5mos since she discard by a text to monkeybranch to some lesser supply. Ended 8yrs. No direct hoovers. Ive been strict no contact. I dont think she will ever hoover if she knows now how much ive leveled up & moved on.
Thanks Joe. Yes, I do find many of them definitely like to be in different situations that they have on rotation. It's an addiction that is harder to spot than with their addictions to people. They are so fascinating strangely, even though they are "simple" minded.
Thank you. This touched on what I’ve been struggling with. It’s hard to feel love for someone who treated you so horribly. Remembering they are in a place of great suffering creates such a mental tug of war. Truly a love hate relationship. I like this perspective. Love them, wish them peace, leave them be.
You won't feel that way much longer, trust me. Work on yourself, get active and pursue fitness. Set some goals for yourself 😀 Best of luck on your journey 🙏
Can you do a video on narcissistic parents. How the demean, and belittle you as a kid. And you grow up to be an amazing adult despite the negativity. How they appear jealous, and even though you have accomplished more than they could imagine, you're still not good enough!
Our narcissistic parents trained us to accept abuse as normal which is why we're now here as adults, learning and healing. We're the cycle breakers 🎉✌️
My narc will never chase me again....he lives in England and will not marry me after 12 years of loving him.....I have gone no contact.....the pain is bad......I hope someone exposes him for who he is....EVIL.
I have alot to work on cause I feel like I'm walking on quick sand one day I'm up and one day im down....god help me get through I have never experienced these feeling in my life very scared
Keep going Debbie…I genuinely feel your pain…it’s so hard…one step forward then 2 steps back but it really does get better…time & space is the healer. Keep listening to these videos, I have literally spent hour after hour doing that. It reinforces what you know to be true. Keep strong ❤️
I agree it is extremely difficult to get through, but I will tell you now , that it will get easier and you’ll get stronger than you’ve ever been! I’m actually starting to feel happier,and stronger!! Embrace the ride! Now he is begging for another chance!! Nope!!😅🙏💪
Why did the Narc Discard me after 19yrs for a Supply that Left them in their Past but because we have a Child She still wants to Punish me through the Courts and Time with my Kid ?
Joe, thank you for these valuable lessons. We would like to find closure when we go no contact. Does the narcissist, forget about us and move on or do they ruminate with regret, mine was a covert narc, could you shed some light on this. Your work is helping me so much. ❤
Glad I did the nasty discard n it was his end how I did it just to make myself clear no more sometimes getting under someone to get over them especially his best friend was what did the trick n then I ghosted him once I knew he knew
Will not wish him well you don't have a clue what my malignant narc husband did to me and my child he'll no I won't forgive that abuse. It's like saying it wasn't that bad when that freak tortured me every way possible .I go with Dr ramani she agrees she never forgave . You can't forgive that sadistic abuse never will I.
How stupid he choose me as being happy n bubbly was what he fell for n what destroyed him n his lying ego that he was the Mayor of the town but skipped that he was 16 n it was four days lmfao loserrrr
Don't forget to follow me on Instagram - instagram.com/joe_b_house/
Their devaluation is premeditated. Long before they even met you. They were going to secure you. Period. And They go into it knowing they will devalue you. The devaluing phase is a projection of who they first saw you as. It’s not a random phase of betrayal. they never had value/love for you. it’s their most flawless technic at getting rid of everyone. As they smile in your face and kiss you and laugh with you and hold hands with you and go on dates and to the movies. This evil is living in them. They quietly keep a record of everything they are going to use to get rid of you. It’s not about perfection, it’s about destruction and going on to the next high. The only thing that matters is that they get rid of you. Not the truth, not your feelings, not your history, not who they know you are, not who you think they are. Nothing you can or will ever say will change it. Once they start openly devaluing you it’s like a terminal illness. They are about to kill everything you thought was real. In your mind you think “we can fix this” what you will suffer to understand is that there was never anything to fix or to nurture and grow. It’s like that moment you realize something valuable was stolen and you’ll never get it back. Theif isn’t going to climb back into your window and return your belongings. It’s gone.
Yes. You nailed it. This is deep insight. You should make videos
Once you see them for who they really are, It can’t be unseen. They are not worth it and they will never change. I took him back twice and it was worse every time. Please get out and let them self destruct on their own.
Same
Narcs keep swinging from tree to tree. 🐒
A bunch of nut jobs who temporarily trick you.
Turtles win the race. Take it slow and you’ll have a much better life.
They like swinging 😮😂😊
🥇🏆......🐢
It's so important to refrain from trying to help them. The natural impulse is to want to reach out and make sure they're ok. As sure as the sun rises in the morning, your kindness will be used against you. They can't help it. Sometimes the greatest act of love is to simply let someone suffer in their own self-made hell.
This is very helpful. Thanks for the focus on helping from a distance! I still wish my N all the very best, daily.
Wish them nothing, thats it.
Poor people they are incapable of loving and receiving love!
Period.
❌️❌️❌️
PREDATORS
When they come back look at them like they're a stranger. It confuses them and they're likely to go away for good.
It took me an indescribable amount of work strength blood sweat and tears and agony to train to be strong enough to defeat them but I did. Physical mental and spiritual discipline will overcome them.
❤
Yup! I never understood this. Why treat me like crap till I leave you then start chasing and hovering me again 😅
🤪🙄🤪🙄
Because it's a cycle of abuse.
Love Bomb
Devalue
Discard
Hoover
1: To get you under control
2: To harvest narcissistic supply ( the feeling of validation, and that they are superior to you)
realise that even if the narcissist seems highly functional or even successful or intelligent. They are insane at their core, and lack contact with reality. They are in a constant state of " craweing" for attention/power/resources/status/validation and can never rest or feel satisfied/contentment. They will manipulate us ( the victim), to think that they are independent, content, secure, cool, sexy, smart or if they are a covert narcissist, they will act insecure and use a victim mask to manipulate us to give them attention/sooth them and so on. But under the surface they are all the same, and are driven by the need for point 1-2. There is nothing more to them. And they never change.
O Joe…so nearly 9 months since he ghosted he pops up yesterday…😬….not gonna lie it has knocked me back BUT found it easy to just ignore…I feel genuine sadness for these people & have had no problem sending him healing & kindness mentally. I have learnt so much..thanks to you & am now a better person because of the whole experience. If I could hug you I would (although probably best not as I’d crush you 😂). Thankyou from the bottom of my heart. You have been like a dear friend & mentor the past few months. God bless you 🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️
What an extremely kind comment, it is very much appreciated thank you Sarah ❤❤
@@joebhouse🤗❤️❤️❤️
Stay strong ❤ for all of us
@@raskolnikov1461 lovely words ❤️Thankyou & you too xx
9mos is a whole lot time. What way did he hoover or try contact you by? Whatd he say? Im bout hit 9mos too w my ex narky gf. No hoovers yet but some indications she may try. 😢
I pray for her every day. I hope she finds peace and healing. Sincerely.
Bpd does the same thing with slight variations but they also return once they see you've "healed" enough for them to sap you for another round.
🧛♂️ or 🧛♀️
Vampires
Can you do a video on Narcissist that you went no contact on, spying on You and also trying to make you jealous cus nothing else is working or causing you to react or reach out
I second that request Joe and love your material I'm going through the exact same thing described above and have been for 10 years while I'm making it abundantly clear I'm not interested!!
Good idea, will keep this in mind for future video
Have you blocked him? I was stalked for years. Petitioned to court to move my son's out of state and it was granted. But he still did it from afar.
@@joebhousehey joe, if I may give another suggestion for a future video, something I feel would be really interesting for you to cover more in-depth is how and why narcissists have an ownership mindset with their former supplies.. like it’s literally as if they think you belong to them and only them and feel that they are entitled to do whatever they want to you, even far after the relationship is over and you have gone no contact.
Such a good suggestion. I need advice on this too. So many fake accounts have been trying to add me - I don't accept them. Now he drives passed my house slowly at night time so I have permanently keep my curtains shut. I love my home but all this stalking behaviour is making me considering moving. My daughter doesn't want to move so I feel trapped 😕
People with high empathy are easy targets bc of the ability to be in someone else’s shoes so the behavior is excused because it’s rationalized.
Narcs discard intentionally without a valid reason because they love the attention of the chase, the begging, they relentless apologizing, and taking the work of blame from them. They must push the feeling of remorse, guilt shame and fear back on to you in order to feel justified in their crappy behavior and mistreatment of you it's the fuel that helps them feel like they are ok when they know they're not.
My narcissistic ex profoundly hurt me in multiple ways. Somehow I still love her, so like you said, I do wish her well from a distance. I absolutely will not allow her to have another opportunity to destroy me, though. It’s amazing I was able to get away considering the circumstances.
You can't reach out and try to help them even through positive thoughts. You risk the danger of subconsciously letting your guard down and allowing yourself to be hoovered back. You have healed and are back to being your very high vibrational self and are highly desirable to the narc. So, no, no mercy for the narc at perhaps your expense and undo all the healing that took painful steps to achieve 😊
Hurt ppl🎯hurt ppl..
Ty 🕊️✨🙏🪽🫶
I would humbly disagree. EVIL people hurt other people.
We have all been hurt at some point in our lives, yet we don't pass the buck intentionally.
You’re a good man Joe, thank you 🙏!
Save the man, not the marriage.
When a Cluster B is involved, there is no hope for them as they know that they are broken. They came for one thing and one thing only…. “The Package” by A Perfect Circle ⭕️!
H.O.P.E. Hold On Pain Ends
Stay alert! Stay alive! Stay strong! Peace ✌️
Very solid suggestions!!!! It's sad, but your right, you CAN'T let them back in!!!!
Been 8.5mos since she discard by a text to monkeybranch to some lesser supply. Ended 8yrs. No direct hoovers. Ive been strict no contact. I dont think she will ever hoover if she knows now how much ive leveled up & moved on.
Thanks Joe. Yes, I do find many of them definitely like to be in different situations that they have on rotation. It's an addiction that is harder to spot than with their addictions to people. They are so fascinating strangely, even though they are "simple" minded.
Thanks Joe I really miss you videos also your voice is very soothing and calming......thanks
Just love your videos
Thank you. This touched on what I’ve been struggling with. It’s hard to feel love for someone who treated you so horribly. Remembering they are in a place of great suffering creates such a mental tug of war. Truly a love hate relationship. I like this perspective. Love them, wish them peace, leave them be.
Yes he discarded me and I know hes with someone else....and I'm left with a brokenhearted
You won't feel that way much longer, trust me. Work on yourself, get active and pursue fitness. Set some goals for yourself 😀
Best of luck on your journey 🙏
He is going to be with someone else and with someone else many times over, he is piece of s*** for man. Count your blessings he is out of your life.
All those videos will help you. Trust me.
🙏🙏🙏🙏
You should be giving thanks to the creator for saving you.
Today was a hard day started ruminating and had a panic attack
Celebrate your freedom!!! Hell is over ! 🤗
Breathe ❤
I hope you're feeling better 💛
You're not alone 🤗🙏✌️
Thank you for you and your channel. You have a lovely energy. ❤ thanks for helping share the light
Can you do a video on narcissistic parents. How the demean, and belittle you as a kid. And you grow up to be an amazing adult despite the negativity. How they appear jealous, and even though you have accomplished more than they could imagine, you're still not good enough!
Our narcissistic parents trained us to accept abuse as normal which is why we're now here as adults, learning and healing.
We're the cycle breakers 🎉✌️
Ty for this video it was very helpful...
Love your videos ❤
Thank you. 🙏🏼
My narc will never chase me again....he lives in England and will not marry me after 12 years of loving him.....I have gone no contact.....the pain is bad......I hope someone exposes him for who he is....EVIL.
Say ...God. praise God.
Weirdos spying on all their Ex's.....its actually quite sad but never feel sorry for a demon.
Thank you, Joe, for always saying the right thing at the right time ❤
7 months n I still feel like death but try all day everyday to move on n grow it’s the hardest job ive ever had
Its always a great joy to watch a new, magical video, its always simply the best. Thank you Joe ! 🤗❤
Thank you!! 😊❤
@@joebhouse 20K close !!! 😊
Won't be long now ;) few more days
I have alot to work on cause I feel like I'm walking on quick sand one day I'm up and one day im down....god help me get through I have never experienced these feeling in my life very scared
Keep going Debbie…I genuinely feel your pain…it’s so hard…one step forward then 2 steps back but it really does get better…time & space is the healer. Keep listening to these videos, I have literally spent hour after hour doing that. It reinforces what you know to be true. Keep strong ❤️
You will be better with each day, give yourself time, it is not easy , you dealt with devil 👿
I agree it is extremely difficult to get through, but I will tell you now , that it will get easier and you’ll get stronger than you’ve ever been! I’m actually starting to feel happier,and stronger!! Embrace the ride! Now he is begging for another chance!! Nope!!😅🙏💪
@@djw8504 thank you
Why did the Narc Discard me after 19yrs for a Supply that Left them in their Past but because we have a Child She still wants to Punish me through the Courts and Time with my Kid ?
I going to take everything he said I couldn’t do n do it all
Joe, thank you for these valuable lessons. We would like to find closure when we go no contact. Does the narcissist, forget about us and move on or do they ruminate with regret, mine was a covert narc, could you shed some light on this. Your work is helping me so much. ❤
Glad I did the nasty discard n it was his end how I did it just to make myself clear no more sometimes getting under someone to get over them especially his best friend was what did the trick n then I ghosted him once I knew he knew
I don’t know if you have already posted it or not, but I am curious as to your story?
Yes but ehat you must remember we know this now.
But when we were married to them we did not know how this was narcissism how do we know
Will not wish him well you don't have a clue what my malignant narc husband did to me and my child he'll no I won't forgive that abuse.
It's like saying it wasn't that bad when that freak tortured me every way possible .I go with Dr ramani she agrees she never forgave . You can't forgive that sadistic abuse never will I.
☀️
💯%!!🧡🌈⚓!!🌞✨💖
🙏💛
How stupid he choose me as being happy n bubbly was what he fell for n what destroyed him n his lying ego that he was the Mayor of the town but skipped that he was 16 n it was four days lmfao loserrrr
❤
7 months n I still feel like death but try all day everyday to move on n grow it’s the hardest job ive ever had