Autism and Me - A Five-Year Journey. Ep.240.
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ก.พ. 2025
- I'm autistic, also called ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder), Asperger's Syndrome, and autism. Five years ago, in a last ditch attempt to save my mental health, I made a decision to sell our home, quit my job, and buy a canal narrowboat. The plan was to escape the triggers that were causing me to be hyper-anxious, and instead, learn to calm my overthinking mind. Did it work?
WARNING!
This video contains discussion of mental health, adult themes, and censored nudity,
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#autism #mentalhealth #naturism
Paul Morris - Assistant, New York Medical College of Human Resources - Advisory Board Member
“I think that it is not only autistic people who need to learn. The people who don’t have autism must learn to understand us and be tolerant”
100% 💙
It's not easy for those without ASD to understand how vast the difference can be when everything else looks so 'normal'.
How can a person not recognise basic facial expressions yet say 'hello' to a dog without speaking but with very subtle body language (and the person with the dog thinking 'what the hell happened there?' )
It can be hard for them, too ;-)
You’re very courageous talking about ADHD and ASD. You were very vulnerable and personable about how it affects you. I think you could help a lot of people by putting it out there, especially on TH-cam. Thank you for sharing this with us and for your advice.
Thanks Heidi 💙
Rewatched this one. Thank you for your pure frankness in sharing your issues. You guys helped my fam thru the pandemic and you continue to inspire us now. Kisses hugs and love ❤️ 💜❤️
Colin...I am sitting here grieving the loss of my youngest grson at about 24, he needed help and he would not accept it. Problems with girlfriend and he just couldn't take it anymore and hung himself 2 days ago! We don't understand how anyone can do this but then what was going on in his mind we don't know as he wouldn't talk. I am impressed with your confession to let it all out! If grson would have talked to us possibly he might still be here.
Stay safe and well! Charlotte from Indiana in America!
Stay strong 💪🏻 💙 You have our deepest condolences x
I find it's not just having someone ask if you're OK but will then listen to your answer and then help take some of the anxiety away. Even it's only a little bit.
As a fifty something who is likely autistic, but undiagnosed, it is wonderful to see videos like this.
It is true that there are no drugs or therapy that can cure us of our autism, but hopefully a society that is more familiar with autism can create a world that is less challenging for us to live in.
I am 60 and believe I am autistic but never diagnosed, I was always told am not applying my self , I’m somewhere else , had English maths extra lessons had many problems in school hated every minute of school. Only art craft I loved and still do. Makes me very upset when disgusting things like this because of the memories it brings up
This is the first time in commenting, as I'm severely dyslexic and texting is hard for me. I'm 53yrs old female and had my ASD and ADHD diagnosis last march. Every thing you are saying is so true. I've been watching you both for a few year. I had a complete nervous breakdown (burnout) last year. My GP want help me at all, I all so have fibromyalgia so I'm in a lot of pain. I admire you so much, there is no way I could do the videos like you do. Love watching them, out-take one's at the moment are very funny. Thank you so much. x
Sorry you’ve suffered so much recently, Joe. I hope things improve. Thank you so much for watching our vlogs too. That means the world to us. Stay strong 💪🏻 x
It’s not unless you’ve a child or partner, that you can recognise it in others. With 3 adult children and then myself (very late in life) all diagnosed. Myself after a bit of a breakdown before work due to the contemplative stress, I can most certainly now recognise it in other’s.
I’m lucky however, as I was shortly after able to take early retirement and a move to the quiet part of the Lake District.
Now I can take time out in the garden and just sit there listening to bird song away from everyone else.
YOU make people happy. Know that. You are strong and brave and brilliant and generous. Sharing all this with us today is tremendously helpful. I’m a teacher- this helps me so much to understand students who are in such need to connect with those who strive to understand. I’m a better teacher now!
A better neighbor and a better human being in our world. That’s just amazing! Wooohoooo!
Wow, thank you! 🙏🏻
Hey fellas. Colin, this was one of the best vlogs in my opinion you have made in a while. You said towards the end of the video that making videos like this is a real help for you. Please please make more of them on a regular basis. Don't worry about the number of views it gets. It will definitely get at least one from me. If this is one of the only things that really helps your state of mind so you can carry on enjoying life with Shaun and the dogs then please keep making this type of vlog. Stay safe all of you.
Cheers! We've never taken any notice of the number of views or subscribers. We learned early on that they have no significance in how much we enjoy the channel. x
Thank you for taking a walk with me today Collin. It was such a pleasure to spend time with you today. Thank you for your openness and vulnerability. Sending you lots of love, peace, and blessings ❤️
We met you at crick ‘21 . Our son is autistic ( Benjamin ) and you’ve been part of what has helped us to understand and empathise with I’m and his behaviour and emotions , more importantly, ourselves, and how we react Both of you. You’re both lovely people.
We Even met you Once on the cut , met boats By a very narrow stretch.
A pleasure to have had you
In a chapter of our lives guys . God bless.
As always, thank you for sharing your life. I am really glad that it makes you happy, and I hope you know how how happy you make those who follow you - me, for one. It's not just the joking, having fun Colin. I also deeply appreciate the serious Colin, the questioning Colin, the worried Colin, the excited Colin, and the weary Colin. I hope you are able to hold onto the bits of joy you come across. I hope you know how much you are loved.
Thank you Colin and always please keep talking about autism and ADHD it’s what we need to know and share with everyone. You do a great job and so personable even though it’s not easy for you ❤️
Thanks so much, Judith 👍🏻♥️🙏🏻
Thank you for that Colin. My youngest son has Aspergers, your information has opened a window for me into some of the problems he has to deal with. Sometimes it has been a struggle for the both of us to effectively communicate, you have helped lift the veil a little. I cannot talk to him about it, it's a taboo subject, so hearing all that from you has helped enormously. Thank you again, mate. 🙂
You’re welcome. Stay strong! 💪🏻💙👍🏻
My nephew Mark, who is neural atypical, describes crying as “water running down my face”. Well, Collin, that water is running. I am so touched, so honored to walk down this path with you. I am a psychotherapist and will be sharing this vlog with many of my clients, so thank you Brother. Also, I feel such gratitude for my Mother’s Day wishes from you two. My daughter Alexa asked you to send me that LOVE. Oh, I needed that. Sending Love & Light & Peace ~ Patricia 💙💘💙
Thank you Colin. I've been trying to break out of my cycle of depression, especially since my wife of 39 years passed away a year ago. You said some things I needed to hear. Keep on keeping on.
Stay strong! 💪🏻💙👍🏻
Amazing walk and talk. So many times it’s ‘pull yourself together’ or ‘well stop thinking like that ‘ or ‘ be a man and get over it’… Hope this encourages more people to talk about their problems and even more people to be willing to sit down and listen. Your ability to communicate and talk about the very real suffering that goes on below a smiling exterior is a great gift.❤
Well said. Thank you! 👍🏻
I feel honoured by you sharing yourself with us. ❤I so appreciate how you explained how your brain works. It's so interesting how much we do not yet know about our brains! I have a Neurological Disorder, and I have experienced many of the disappointments that you have in relation to the Medical World.
Listening to your story confirms my yearning for Naturism - why I need it and why it helps - and now I have a way to explain it to others.
Your authentic self is so giving and generous and kind. Thank you.
You’re welcome, Carol 🙏🏻💙👍🏻
I commented on your earlier mental health video by thanking you for your transparency. Ditto to what I said back then. I have family members and friends with mental health issues. One friend's mother told her repeatedly for decades to "snap out of it." My hope is that the more we (as a society) see the faces and hear the voices, the sooner society as a whole will show more understanding and empathy.
🙏🏻♥️👍🏻
Those traits you have described, such as, the sounds becoming overwhelming, I have had for ages.. I can’t stand crowds, if I get “ pinned in” in a grocery isle, I’ll leave my cart full of goods and get the heck out of there. I have changed my entire life to work around it. I’ve felt I’m the only one. To hear you open up, gives me a sense of belonging. I know that must sound crazy
I cried so much at this video because everything you said I could relate to and it was almost a relief to hear someone else explain so well their feelings and thoughts so thank you!! I don’t know how my partner puts up with me and my issues but as you said they are heroes!! We also moved from a horrible pokey flat with god awful neighbours to a beautiful quiet bungalow with zero neighbours but still my anxiety stops me from enjoying it. Thank you Colin for making me feel not so alone, you are a real ambassador for mental health awareness x
Oh no, don't cry! 🙏🏻♥️👍🏻
Thank you Colin for your wonderful vlog, for sharing your experiences with us. Listening to you makes us realise what a special pair you and Shaun are. We are glad that your followers help you, and feel privaliged to be part of that. Take care of each other. Lots of love from us both. Chris & Mary. 💕🐾🐾xxxx
Glad you enjoyed it x
Colin Dobson-Fox, a man of love and grace,
Fights a battle with autism, with courage in his face.
He met his soulmate Shaun, and their love did ignite,
A bond so strong, it shone with a brilliant light.
Shaun stood by his side, through every trial and test,
Guiding him through the storms, with love and gentle rest.
Colin fought hard, to overcome his struggles and his fears,
With Shaun always by his side, wiping away his tears.
Their love was a beacon, shining bright in the dark,
A love so pure and true, it left a lasting mark.
Colin found his voice, through the power of love,
And his passion for life, soared high above.
Their love was a force, that nothing could contain,
An unbreakable bond, that would always remain.
Colin and Shaun, an embodiment of love and hope,
Their story is a testament, to the power of love to cope.
So here's to Colin Dobson-Fox, and his love for Shaun so true,
And his battle with autism, which he bravely fights through.
May their love continue to shine, like a guiding star,
A beacon of hope, to all those who are near and far.
Wow! That’s just amazing! Thank you so much for taking the time to write that. I’m blown away! 🤩❤️👍🏻
Wow .... thank you Colin .... amazing video that made a sixtyvyear old man cry because you opened my eyes to some of the things that I suffer with without realising I did before ..... very brave very open and thoroughly interesting video ..... thank you again ... you're an amazing talker on video ... hope you realise the help you give to others.
Thanks, Gary x
I can't believe it has been 5 years since Ep. 9. Today, I am one person you helped. Thank you ❤
You're welcome 😊
I have just sat with my husband and daughter and watched this and no one spoke until the end , and we all said the same what a brilliant video. It has helped us understand how my grandson is sometimes feeling. He was diagnosed with ADHD and autism 3 years ago. So thank you that ❤
i speak to people about my bladder cancer and tell them how i found out i had it ! some people go crock at me others sit and listen . and i tell them if you don't like it go away or sit and think IM TRYING TO HELP YOU UNDERSTAND . if you go to the toilet and pee blood go strait to the doctors and find out WHAT IS GOING ON . BECAUSE THE SOONER YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT THE BETTER YOU CHANCES ARE TO BEAT IT 👍👍👍👍I do understand what your going through with mental health i suffer from it aswell . thanks brother i love the truth you speak about it and how it helps to talk about it 💖👍💖👍 we don't need this 🙈🙉🙊 nothing about it and put it into the to hard basket 😉😉😉😉
I well remember your first walk and talk about you condition. One year later I lost my beautiful wife to whom I was married for 50 years and had known for 6 years before that, having met when I was only 15 3/4 years old.
Then came Covid and enforced isolation for at least 15 weeks.
Seventeen months ago, I underwent open heart surgery in a 10 hour operation.
I am 75 years old on the 27th of this month.
I suffered mentally throughout the past 4 years, even though I had been in the Fire Service for 30 years, which in itself was stressful. Nothing had prepared me for this.
The only thing that helped was keeping myself busy, no matter what it was.
I never turned down invitations from family and friends. For me, social contact was my therapy. But I can understand that this would not necessarily work for you Colin.
Just persevere and do what you know is best for you. If that's walking or swimming in the buff, then do it. You are trying hard to be discreet.
Best wishes to you and Shaun and keep on vlogging as you have kept me and many others going throughout some tough times.
I’m so sorry Harry. That’s my greatest fear. Stay strong! 💪🏻💙👍🏻
Speaking as a 62 yr old straight male engineer, I should like to applaud you on your astonishing bravery and honesty, and wish you every happiness for the future.
I want to thank you ! I was diagnosed later in life with ASD,have always been hyper,and struggled with my mental health...especially when my children left home to live their (successful)lives. I actually thought I was mad at one point in my life.! I saw your utube where you explained how ASD affected you and suddenly I had a "eureka moment"... as you have a true gift with words,explaining to those who perhaps don't understand our difficulties in a very clear way. But most of all... I suddenly realised that I actually wasn't alone. A big part of me would not wish the struggles with overthinking,anxiety ,catastrophying, meltdowns etc upon my worst enemy...but another part of me felt that someone actually understands because they to have similar struggles! I have a reasonably high I.Q. but often fail to realise some 'simple things' which is extremely frustrating to say the least...sensory overload due to living situation...is a constant stress...etc but understanding how my brain differs from neurological person and consequently how I react/feel was a game changer.Acceptance the key! Management ,in the hope of diminishing traumatic episodes is an ongoing process...its not all negative...I try to see the funny side of things...takes a lot of practice but I'm getting there! I tend to avoid people due to social anxiety stuff ,which is OK.when stressed I can loose the ability to pause before I speak...and I don't like to offend people. I don't like changes n live a routine which gives me regular managed contact with people....shopkeepers,cafe staff...local folk..n recently I was ill n didn't go out for three weeks or so...I was shocked when people expressed their concern because they hadn't seen me....and also expressed they were pleased to see me out and about again...I felt cared for..it boosted my confidence. It is true what you said about "ask someone if they are ok"... it really does make a difference! What I like about your videos as well...is seeing you and Sean together,ups and downs and especially your humour! You always make me smile! Thank you!
Thank you x
Howdy Colin!! Time is a great teacher! It took me until I was 50 to realize that happiness is a choice. It was a very freeing moment. I've suffered from depression, anxiety & panic disorder for over 20 years & I have drawn a lot of strength from watching you & I thank you for it!! May the universe grant you peace & serenity in all you do! Hugs & kisses to Shaun & his love for you. Kiss that doggies!
Thanks so much, Ken 💙
Thank you Colin. I am the mother of a 42year old son who was diagnosed with Autism when he was 30. He has many challenges and he is a wonderful human being. This is not about him but about me. Your sharing has helped me understand a bit more and love him more. Thank you. Oh yes I appreciate the high production standard of your videos and you and Sean make me laugh.
Thanks so much, Dave 🙏🏻
Thank you for sharing, Colin. Being able to understand yourself is very important. You have a great support group, at home and also around the world. Remember that .01 percent of people are useless twits and we all have to put up with them, not just you. That puts a different perspective on life.🤙🇨🇦
Absolutely!
Thankyou Colin for calling us heroes who stand by our partners who have mental health issues,my husband suffered for 23 years until he got Cancer and died and then he was free,you are the most courageous man I know ❤
I’m sorry to hear that, Christine x
Oh Colin, thank you so much for this. My 23-year-old daughter has dealt with anxiety for years and was recently diagnosed with ADHD, so I know a little bit about what you deal with on a daily basis. I remember five years ago you talking about the relief that came with the diagnosis. We experienced that as well. So many scattered pieces came together after that and it was empowering to make sense of so many things that she/we struggled with before. These conditions and autism are much more common than I think many people realize, perhaps because people are afraid to talk about it. You do a great service to the autism/ADHD community with your openness. I know that it has to be helpful for so many. Sending you my very best, all the love, and of course my thanks. Cheers to you, Shaun, the pups, chickens and bees. 💜
Thanks so much. Love to you both 🙏🏻♥️👍🏻
THANK YOU!!! Such a great video. Your honesty is heart warming. Your words are powerful and educational. I so appreciate you!!!
This is one of your very best blogs. Not easy to bare (no pun intended) your soul to the world like you just have. You have opened a window into your heart and I think that we are all the better for that and can use this to see what those around us might be struggling with. Warmest regards to the both of you!
Thank you so much 😊
Wherever you go - there you are. It's easier to have an understanding than to fight the chemical imbalance. Thanks for sharing Colin.
Well said!
Colin, you are a true Super Hero. No silly costumes, no Hollywood crap. All I can think of is I truly wish a couple of our friends could have watched this video, they might still have been here with us. They were unable to escape that dark place. 😢
You may have been clothed in this vlog but you were truly naked in your feelings. My wife, Fiona, and I are sincerely grateful for this vlog. You and Sean are fabulous people. Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️
Thanks so much Dave 👍🏻♥️🙏🏻
I have consciously made the decision to stay single for around 15 years now. Solely because of my mental health issues. (Bipolar and BPD). For me it’s just easier and less stressful. I’m glad you have Shaun. I love you guys and so glad you have each other. X
I sometimes wonder how Shaun copes 💙
He’s a good one. But, so are you. Oh, and you have a great body. lol 🙀
What an inspiring video that was, I felt so proud of you Colin. I have commented before about my eldest Daughter and her mental health issues, I'm going to show her this one tomorrow, she too has tried everything, seen everyone to no avail, she would never go to those support groups where everyone talks about how they feel but I really think all of the things you talked about would benefit her listening to. Always take care, love to you and Shaun xxxx
👍🏻♥️🙏🏻
Always, always appreciate your willingness to share your perspective. Thanks for taking us on your walk this morning. Cheers gents. One love.
You are a very special man Colin and even though you have mental health issues you are so talented and have the ability to love, thankyou for sharing your life with us. X
Thank you for talking about your mental health: it helps to know you're not the only one. One day when I was 7 years old, my mother noticed that I was moping around. She asked why I was sad, and I told her I didn't know. She said, "Oh; you're depressed." Just like that, I was elated, because I realized, "They have a word for it! That means it's not just me!" I'm now 77, and, along with depression, I live with anxiety & other things, quite possibly being on the spectrum (in my day, it was believed that only boys were on the spectrum). I appreciate your experiences & your POV. 💖
This is such a compassionate vlog, Colin. Thank you so much for posting your thoughts, struggles and conclusions. There are so many of us who find the water rising above our heads at times, and it’s inevitable perhaps to feel that there is something deficient about our instability. It’s so easy for people to blame when they don’t understand, and the only way for people to understand is for someone like you to articulate what life is really like to be neuro-divergent. You are a gift.
Thank you so much!
You've no idea how much I look forward to your Vlogs every week and how much joy you give to me and to others. I'm single been on my own for the last 24 years sometimes i feel very lonely but your Vlogs over the last 5yrs have been an absolute hoot and kept my faith in the kindness of others and not to judge. Thanks guysfor every Friday at 4pm.
Thanks so much Alastair x
My partner has Aspergers and is a constant worrier so I am calm for him. Reading and music are the only things that calm him down, in fact he cannot live without music which he puts on the moment he wakes until the time he goes to bed. With autism each person has to find their own relief by trial and error which is what my partner did. Thank you so much for sharing Colin, I wish I could shut my own brain up but for me nature helps and my photography. Much love to you and Shaun and Otis and Ollie.❤️x x x x😊
Thank you Colin. I recognize that head space that you put into words. We can never stop learning about ourselves particularly about getting away from the crush of city life.
I’m sitting watching your video in a Norwich hotel after my partner Andy had a stress endured seizure on Friday. Basically all of what you explained as your triggers, what you had to put up with when you were in a house is what has pushed my husband over the edge in a restaurant. The NHS is fab and he spent Friday and Saturday in IMU. I though I would lose him as it was a scary thing to watch. He is recovering but they don’t want to give him medication yet. I am still scared of what might happen but this is our crossroads. I have to do something to save my husband. We will have to find our own solution to removing the horrible stuff out of our lives. You explaining about the people seeking you out to hurt you. We have a neighbour upstairs who regularly tries to hurt us. We don’t want to move but we have to as it’s getting worse. Your video has given me renewed strength to continue and to save us. Much love to both of you and your family . Best wishes Alex. Xxx
You and Andy are way more important than stubbornly insisting on not moving. Escaping the triggers won't solve the underlying causes but it should erase a lot of the triggers. Sending lots of love to you both!
Hi Colin. Ive been a subscriber for several years and my hubby and I are big fans. This vlog was very moving and very interesting. Im a therapist who has worked with a few teens on the ASD spectrum so very little experience. Recently I watched Chris Packham and Christina McGuiness on BBC iplayer meet others with Autism and share their own experience. The thing that stands out is if youve met one person with Autism youve met one person with Autism!! I didnt realise you naturism related to your Autism until today. Im not sure anyone else who doesnt suffer can really empathise but you do a good job of explaining it. Having Sean must be an anchor for you. Your vlogs always make us laugh. You are a lovely couple. Thank you for sharing your experience, painful though it is. Lots of love to both Debs. Xxx
Thanks Debs
What a well presented Vlog. We thoroughly enjoy watching your presentations each week and this one is quite thought provoking. Look after yourself, embrace each day and best wishes to you both. We look forward to many more videos. Take care
Thank you so much!
Colin, I really enjoy these little, somewhat one-sided, chats. I feel less alone... while I sit here alone.
That’s the point 😉💙🙏🏻
I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD in 2021, late in life at 52. I totally appreciate where you were at. My sensory overloads are a nightmare and I had autistic burnout too. I’ve watched your videos for some time, unaware you share this diagnosis. Feels like the symptoms and feelings and mental health problems you’ve had are extremely similar to what I’ve faced too. So it’s been so useful to hear someone else talk about it so openly and frankly. I really really appreciate it. Thanks.
Thanks Colin, for this very candid and honest explanation of where you are mentally today, I do understand as I suffer with some mental difficulties myself. I hope that by occasionally telling us friends how you are it may ease the burden that you are carrying. I hope that you, Shaun and the pups are well. Take care and all the best. Stevie
Thanks so much, Stevie 👍🏻♥️🙏🏻 Have a lovely weekend! x
You are living in the "here & now" Colin - if you weren't you wouldn't have made this video. You have grown so much in the last 5 years, from when you started with Silver Fox to present day. You may not be able to see it, but your viewers can. Also, by making your "mental health" videos like this one, you are helping many people with the same or similar problems, just by talking about your own mental health. I think you are incredibly brave to do that. That takes a lot of courage, so take heed from that - not everyone is as brave as you. You are learning to understand yourself which will help you to stay strong in the dark times, even if you don't feel very strong at the time. When the dark times pass, after each dark time you will come out a stronger person. Learn to enjoy the good times and make some precious memories, because those memories will help you through the dark times. Try and smile and have a giggle everyday, even is some days the smile is only a grimace and the giggle is a "Humph!" Before you know it you'll be back to smiling and giggling once more. Believe me, Laughter really is the best medicine. When we have a really good ole belly laugh, every muscle in the body relaxes, except for the heart - obviously - So laughter is a really great stress-buster. So remember, a giggle a day helps keep the stress at bay. Take care guys and dogs. Big hugs to you all. X
Well THAT made me cry! 😊 Be yourself, everyone else is taken. ❤
Aww, don't cry! 😉
Thank you. I needed (again) to hear this. Your words and actions mean a lot to me.
You are so welcome
Thank you, Colin. I will share this with people who don't understand.
Excellent!
I have been recently diagnosed as high functioning autistic ...which used to be Asperger's syndrome but is now called Autism period. It actually explains a lot as i look back at my life....thank you for sharing this Colin. much love to you both.
Total respect. So glad you can talk to “us” and that it helps you. ♥️❤️♥️
Brilliant. I think we can all use the reminder to try and live in the here and now. My dogs help with with that lesson every day.
We’re all behind you Colin. Thanks for sharing what your going through and you continuing journey with mental health. I remember the Vlog 5 years ago and how it helped me cope with the loss of a loved one who was struggling and ended up taking their own life. I was very close to them and tried to help in anyway that I could. As supportive as I could be, I still didn’t realize how bad it was. They didn’t let me in. I’ve carried a horrible guilt for a long time now that I should have done more. I still cry late at night sometimes thinking about what I could have done differently and how much I miss them. Thank you for letting us in. Thank God you’ve got Shaun, he’s an angel. You’ll never know how much your helping people by talking to us about your own struggles. God bless you and Shaun. Cheers from Florida 🌴🌴🌴🌴🌴🍊
Your vlogs when you open up have taught me so much about ASD which has helped me understand a family member so much more thank you 💕
You are so welcome!
15k views in 24 hours and so many positive comments really hilights just how much good an honest vlog like this can do. It takes real courage to lay your most vulnetable self bare to the world. I think so many people will see glimpses and aspects that they can relate to and the thing I take away from it is your positivity and strength and just how much you want to use your struggles to help others which is exactly what you're doing ... thank you x
Cheers Neil. x
there are lots and lots of good people in the world.
You are your own person & we love you for it 😊
Colin, Every day is a challenge for me, I just try not to let perfection become the enemy of good, that's all we can do. Watching your videos gives me hope, I wish I could do the same for you.
🙏🏻♥️👍🏻
Your story really hits home for me in certain ways. Around the age of 16 I started developing Schizoaffective Disorder, which is basically Schizophrenia + Manic Depressive Disorder. I was rapidly deteriorating, mentally. And at the age of 19 I started undergoing treatment...7 years of medications, therapy...in the long run it only made things worse. Couldn't keep a job because my ability to talk, think and do things just degraded. Everyday I worried about 'tomorrow', how will I earn money, how will I take care of myself. People kept telling me "just push past it, it's all in your head"...I hated that. Of course it's in my head, that's just the problem, I can't get it out of my head! lol. I started my TH-cam channel to take my mind off of things, and slowly, it became my new job, one I ultimately enjoy and has helped me claw my way back to a more balanced mental health. At 30 years old, I'm doing so much better than I was at 19. When I tell my viewers how much I appreciate the life they have helped me gain back, I can only hope they understand just HOW much I appreciate it. And somehow...somehow I managed to let go of the worries of 'tomorrow' and live in the now. I wish I could tell you how I did it, but frankly I don't know. I suppose seeing my life improve, gave me hope that tomorrow will be even better. Take care, both of you.
Shaun, How are YOU doing? Are you getting the support you need as well? It's kind of strange how people you don't know (me) would truly want to make sure ya'll are ok. Colin, keep being naked man. It suits you. Also not advice but what you say about the past 5 years helping you to learn more about your mind is a great way of thinking about it - it gives comfort at least to know the 'why' when one struggles so much. To you both, I know our paths may never cross except on this one comment but I'm grateful for your contribution to my reality. Peace to you both.
🙏🏻♥️👍🏻
Late to the party, which is fairly common for me to be fair, but I would just like to thank you for being so open about your struggles. I found you guys during lockdown, and you've helped me so much with my own issues. Not to be crass, but it honestly helped to see that even when you live out your dream, the shadows come along for the ride as well. That helped me to see that there is no magic formula, and no magic time when I would "make it" and be free of this stress and worry. I should probably add that I gained a lot more from you guys and your channel, and while the above is a notable thing, it's far from the only one.
As for living in the now, I have absolutely no idea. Never have. I too move between catastrophes. I remember watching Serenity many years ago (I was late to Firefly - watched and fell in love with it after seeing the movie), and hearing Wash say, "I'm a leaf on the wind." That phrase stuck in my head, and I mulled it around for years, thinking about it every way I could imagine. It has become something of a personal motto, because most days I really do feel like a leaf on the wind. Sometimes it's wonderful, others horrifying, and everything in between.
Colin -I've said it before and will say it again, you are one heck of a person. I admire you so much for talking about your problems and wish you well. Thank goodness for Shaun he is an amazing person too and soo caring and understanding of your issues. Love you both to bits despite never having been able to meet you , I feel I know you personally.
Are you going to Crick this year at all? I have won tickets to go through Paul and Anthony so really looking forward to it. Keep on at it lad even though it is an ongoing issue for you. You're doing well xx
Cynical-me would consider it trite, but sometimes the quote from an unknown source -
"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100%.
And that's pretty good."
- gives me a little boost. As has this video.❤
Thank you sweet man for your open honesty about your life and mental health. I so get what your saying. I have depression and anxiety and am having major health issues with my back and ability to walk. Generally, if I am out in my wheelchair shopping for food with my life companion I can barely do 2 hours then I am done for the day, and into bed, I go to rest up. Going from a person who could enjoy my life to existing in it most times is very difficult but my pain level has worn me down and existing until I can gain pain relief thru rest and weed. Life can have heavy shoes and it is okay...... Just know I am so thankful you did this vlog, it helps me. I love you two wonderful men for your knowledge, life experiences, and your sense of humor. I can picture Shawn saying (you can't say that.....then his giggles and facial expressions) love, love, love you two men.
As a gay woman I thought coming out was hard in my late 40's but to be honest living in physical pain has been the most difficult. With the opioid crisis in society, doctors have left many patients with no pain medications so weed is my life just to exist now. Your vlogs give me pure happiness and a way out of my head too. Please stay safe, and happy, and keep being YOU! THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME!
I’m so sorry life is dealing you this at the moment. I hope you can get better in some ways. Sending loads of love and hugs 🤗
Hey Colin... I'm still here and appreciate your sharing. I appreciate you and Shaun for all the videos. I do listen, even from over here in Waterloo, Ontario, Canada, to the radio station.
ADHD, yep. I get it. It's been rough recently for me, but I'm "okay."
Hang in there.
I appreciate that 💙
In a nutshell it is a case of what can’t be cured must be endured……..a lesson some people never learn. You are blessed, you have found the answer. You are to be admired.
I wouldn’t go that far, but thank you 🙏🏻
💓
Colin, THANK YOU . That is an extremely insightful, honest, and helpful vlog. You made such sense as you spoke. My husband and myself send much love to you and to Shaun, Otis and Ollie.xx
Wonderful!
Can't believe it's been 5 years! I've been here the whole time. Wish I had some solutions for you Colin.... No matter where you go, there you are. Try to recognize all your blessings everyday, and give yourself permission to be who you are. Please know you are valued & supported unconditionally. As always, I send you, Shaun & the boys love and hugs. 💕🐕🐕
Sometimes the solution is to stop looking for solutions and enjoy what you have, which is everything I could ever want. 🙏🏻♥️👍🏻
Any time you want to talk we'll be here! Love you guys! Cheers from 🇨🇦
I remember that vlog. It was amazingly honest.
Thankyou , you moved me and helped. Shine on
I remember Episode 9, and wondering how TH-cam (which *is* stressful for many, in many ways) would jive with you. But you have been figuring this out yourself, for yourself. No need for me to comment on that.
Anyway, I really just wanted to say thank you (maybe not for the first time? I cannot remember, and I am not going to look back). I watch TH-cam to learn, maybe very occasionally to just be entertained. But the latter is rare - I prefer learning. However, today (just like Episode 9) is more than all that. In a roundabout way I am a Shaun. So I appreciate more than you can probably imagine how helpful your words are for me. I am deeply thankful for that. I was thinking, it's possibly just a little bit like naturism may feel for you, to give you at least a hint of an idea. So yes, truly and deeply appreciated and just: good.
Bets of wishes from quite far away, to both of you!
Thanks so much Joerg-Micha 👍🏻♥️🙏🏻
So very honest and elequent. Thank you. My husband also has mental health problems. My heart goes out to Sean. I've often come home from work and had to grit my teeth to face walking through the door. As I was so scared at what I would find. Due to you two, I don't feel so alone. ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Well said, Colin. Stay well enjoying your life.
Thank you. I too am autistic, diagnosed at the age of forty-six. I have some good friends I can talk to who don’t mind my muddling up and saying the wrong thing. I have had the ‘ you don’t look autistic’ comment many a time, and ‘you can’t be autistic you are a woman’. Your vulnerability helps me realise I am not on my own in this ASD world. Thank you Colin.
People think women can't be autistic? OMG 😂
Thanks Colin. I found this channel a few years back when undergoing some mental health issues myself and have been a subscriber ever since. My issues have resurfaced recently and so this video is very timely for me. I'm coming to realise that the issues will likely always be there and I must learn to manage them, and your video backs that up. Keep smiling!
Thanks Colin in my current state of anxiety it's a balm to my soul to hear your words. Xx
Stay strong 💪🏻 💙
Hi Colin
Thank you for having the courage to share your mental health journey , I hear you 100% , I'm 71 on the 18th april this yr, I've struggled and worked so hard for very little results , 16yrs of counselling and considering doing more since I realised 2 yrs ago I was brought up by narcsistis and married one and have been surrounded by them , my wife is amazing as Shaun is for you , but it's a lonely journey at the end of the day . It's super hard to fake a smile and conversation with horrible thoughts wirling around your brain at the same time .
I had a cancerous tumour removed last yr and spent my 70th birthday in bed which was a non event , my wife wants to invite people this yr to make up for it , I want to but I don't as I find the pressure of entertaining people to much and I can't just leave when I need to , so I feel I need to take off on my own for the day . Thank you thank you , for kind of normalising this struggle many of us have . My wife abd I love your vlogs and she would love to live where you are ( me , I don't know what or where I want to live ) ..walking is sonething I've done forever but its hurting my knees atm abd I'm finding it hard to not be able to just take off and calm my self down wuth a stroll alone .
So appreciate you sharing your experiences. Although we walk alone many of us are walking beside you .take care .blessing from Sydney Australia 💙
Aww, thanks so much, Ella 🙏🏻♥️👍🏻
Colín,
Many of us that have followed you on TH-cam had a deep application of two of your strongest personal traits, openness and honesty. Celebrate that!!
Dr. Steve
Wow, thank you
Thank you Colin ❤
You are so welcome
Hi Colin. You are your own psychiatrist and you’re brilliant at it. I always used to think I was somehow different from others around me, at all ages, but especially as a youngster. At the age of 12 I discovered Naturism and that helped steer me through life. We were all born naked so I don’t understand the hang ups most people have about the human body. A quick illustration. I belonged to a naturist club for many years, actually becoming Chairman for a time. One day there was a work party of 6 men laying drains, not a nice job but being naked on a warm day helped. I looked around and couldn’t help smiling. What’s the joke one guy said. Not a joke I replied….something magical. Look whose on the team . A bank manager, an accountant, a business man, a dustbin man, a vicar and myself a railway signalman. All equal, but as I said, if you were a stranger, could you pick out who was who. It didn’t matter! True story. Carry on being you’re own Doctor…you’re winning.
That's an amazing little story and proof that we're all the same, less hung-up, and equal when naked. x
I want to track down every person who was mean to you and pinch their head off. BIG hug. I love you both. And the doggie.
😂
This little chat we had helped a lot! Thank you for shining a light on mental wellness! It’s helped my spouse and I recognize some similar traits with him; the overthinking, the anxiety, etc… I know it’s not your intention, but you’re an excellent spokesperson for understanding your own inner struggles. Having that knowledge brings control back to your life…knowledge is power, they say! Thank you for putting yourself out there! You’ve helped more people than you know. 🙏
I’d like to think so. Thank you! 🙏🏻
Watching this with tears streaming, you have voiced for those of us who have ASD just what we want everyone to know how we suffer and can't express to people. Thank you so much. Keep safe.
Stay Strong James! 🙏🏻♥️👍🏻
Thank you for sharing that Colin. I've been married for over 40 years and about 5 years ago my wife was diagnosed ASD. It's answered a lot of questions for her and me. My twin brother is also diagnosed - so hearing your perspective and experience has helped me gain more insight. I wish you very well for the future.
Thank you for your brave and honest vlog. It takes great personal strength to put yourself out to the world.
I’m sure it will help others who are struggling. All the very best!
Thank you so much!
Colin you have found your purpose…. Helping us understand mental illness. Have watched you and Shaun from the beginning and have loved you two since the beginning. ❤. Thank you❣️
Aww, thanks so much, Alicia 🙏🏻💙
Thank you for this video! Open conversations about mental health are so important for society. You’ve helped my wife and I improve our understanding.
Cheers Shawn 🙏🏻♥️👍🏻
The more I listen to you, the more I appreciate your candor and honesty. It is a breath of fresh air in this confused world 🌎 ❤
Wow, thank you
Colin, Thank you mate appreciate knowing we help you in even the smallest way. Interaction both here and on twitter is fantastic. We have your back mate. 👍👍🇦🇺👍👍
Cheers Simon x
We are here, we are listening, we are feeling. With love
Well done, Colin, for speaking out about your mental health. Much love to you and Shaun x
Thanks, Jennie. x