I hired a "lawyer" to review my viewers dating profiles
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ก.ย. 2024
- DISCLAIMER: PARKZER IS NOT A LAWYER
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About DougDoug:
Doug is a sentient bell pepper who was hired by the FBI to crack gaming challenges and also talk about things with food
#DougDoug #DougDougDoug #Parkzer
I love how despite being close friends, Parkzer always talks to Doug as if he was speaking to a client. It's like Doug picked a random lawyer from the street.
where else was he supposed to source a lawyer from?
@@preistestdragon4634 Saul Goodman
@@monkedude Saul already worked against him in the conquest for America. Doug still holds a grudge to this day.
or maybe even a random police officer
Wait, you are telling me that he did not pick a random lawyer from the street for that stream?
If Parkzer got married he could be his own wedding officiant, marriage counselor, and divorce attorney. What a legend.
He can also shoot his ex-spouse because he’s a cop with a gun
@@dauntingkitty then run his own prosecution and defense
@@ender8124 and execution
@@ender8124 and prison breakout
@@larrybird6860 and international manhunt
I love the fact that Parkzer takes everything so seriously.
"Hi, Billy Mays here-"
"Hello Billy Mays."
More like “Hello. Billy Mays.”
@@supersillystuffs
"Hello William Mathew"
hello douglas, douglas.
hello mario
everything*
Parkzer perfectly balances the line between "Perfectly normal everyday person" and "Alien who landed on earth 24 minutes ago"
He's just an alien that landed on Earth 5 years ago or smth like that
i think thats called autis-----
@@TjokoCowAutism, you can say it, it’s not a slur
Imp not saying it bc its rude to assume neurodivergence jus cuz they are strange@@DeathnoteBB
@@TjokoCow Okay then don’t say it… You pretty clearly where saying it though. Also it’s more rude to call someone “strange” for seeming ND
"Isn't rizz strictly sexual?"
"He's in a watermelon!"
That clears it up, thank you.
"My eyes are up here."
"And your bare chest is down there."
Parkzer is truly a gift to the world.
Actually sounds like a joke in a sitcom
"Umm, my eyes are up here?"
"Yeah, and your bosom is down there."
We all better hope that Parkzer never makes a dating profile, no one else will stand a chance
really hope this gets top comment
true
true
Those goldfish never stood a chance
I hope he never does anything because he's better than everyone else at most things, I'm scared he'll try to become the main character so that chat has to join Doug as a side character
Parkzer is such a strange human being, how can one man be so many things? A lawyer, cop, pornstar, manager, gun owner, Doug's gay lover, and a dating expert! Everytime he shows up I scream he is too powerful
Koala
everytime he shows up i cream he is too powerful
@@TurbopropPuppy comedy.
Johnny Sins
Not a pornstar. He's a pimp.
I love how parkzer is always like “I’m not a lawyer” and then proceeds to perfectly explain complex legal concepts
@@AlterationA Heh. Weed.
@@sakuucchan Heh. Weed.
@@21bucks Heh. Weed.
@@Stampyboyz Heh. Weed.
@@AlterationAHeh. Weed.
"Just because he likes sushi does not mean I become gay or bisexual"
Your loss Parkzer
Coward :)
Is Parkzer gay? I legit can't tell.
@@TheGrumbliestPuppy honestly, if I had to put forth headcanon, id say he’s asexual
@@spiderdude2099i personally wouldn't headcanon a real person's sexuality, but go off ig
@@platinumfactor it’s not based on nothing. Parkzer has expressed being at least demisexual, as in he doesn’t feel attraction until he gets to know someone. So, who knows? He’s at the very least Demisexual, but I also kinda get asexual vibes from him. It doesn’t really matter what I think tho.
It will never not be funny how Parkzer seems to perpetually exist in a undefined super-state between the most normal Straight-Man type dude who has no care for any sort of funny business whatsoever, and also the most incomprehensible alien being who appears to have lived on Mars for his entire adult life and has no concept of human society
what
perfect description
Jermacore
@@giovannimarecoortiz1122 words
@@gohanr1271 great word 10/10
i do so deeply love that parkzer is always the most sane person in the room but also simultaneously never knows anything
Granted, when Doug and Chat are the only other people in the room, the bar of sanity is low
he is just a Normal Guy he doesn't know anything about vocaloids or memes and that's beautiful
And yet he somehow also seems to know everything.
He knows so much about the law but if you ask him anything about social norms or any media ever he will start loading in real time.
I love how Parkzer is either way too into the joke or legitimately completely lost in the sauce with the inside jokes of both doug and chat.
Parkzer half the time: "That is incorrect"
Parkzer the other half of the time: "Even your dog!"
i think he might be on the spectrum a bit.
@@pranksinatra2755Vibes I got as well. Definitely very high-functioning though.
@@TheUnderscore_what? 😭
@@TheUnderscore_stop using the terms high and low functioning
I love how parkzer is chronically annoyed at things that don't make sense
I know this doesn't won't sound good nor nice but he has big bang sheldon vibes
@@bruhmodeactive3211that is deeply insulting and you should immediately apologize.
@@lordfelidae4505 I said what I said but I'm sorry bout that
@@bruhmodeactive3211I hate how accurate this is.
@@bruhmodeactive3211That is so many words to avoid saying autistic.
I adore how Parkzer and Doug give off the most "married" but also "strangers" energy ever
Parkzer is such an enigma of a human being, I love him dearly
he's such a fine specimen
I'd bet money that Parkzer is severely autistic. I both am and have known very autistic people and his body language is familiar to me. That little way he sort of bobs his head a bit, I dunno how to describe it, but it's something I've seen in every strongly autistic person I've met. I really respect Doug's chat for all appreciating him and including him rather than picking on him.
He's anything but an enigma, though, isn't he? He's completely blunt and open about who he is and what his values are.
@@hopsys the point isn’t that it’s hard to figure out what he is, it’s just that his interests and personality seems very strange compared to the conventional average.
@@hopsys I think they refer to the enigma that is Parkzer's mind, not that he *is* enigmatic
The genuine offense Parkzer seems to feel when he thinks Doug is saying he ate a screwdriver when he was 6 years old is what gives me the energy to keep living.
hes the best omg
His innocence must be preserved 😂
makes me laugh so hard. he's completely taken aback. you'd think the name was like "fecalsnot" or something from that reaction
6:32
@@truecrisp MVP
Parkzer is the most conventionally boring but unique person ive ever seen. Bless this man, he is a gem.
He's got that James May charisma
You misspelled gun
Like James May and Jordan Schlansky.
@@goodsirbear-7579 he is not a gun
@@joshclark756source?
Parkzer, the Taekwondo master: "There is no belt system for guns"
His sheer martial power has made him forget about belt-fed guns
Parkzer carries the gun fir restraint, he's more deadly without it.
He forgot about the ancient art of gun-fu
Taegundo
And gun belts that you put a holster on.
The straight man funny man duo once again proves why it has been working 100s of years, You guys are truly a modern day Abbot and Costello
Doug: who is on first
Parkzer: who is on first??
Doug: correct
Parkzer: you didn't answer the question
@@bruhmodeactive3211very in character.
It’s always so fun to see Doug’s insanity mix with Parkzer’s purely grounded existence
The Ultimate Straight Man xd
Doug is like the gayest straight man ever and parkzer is like the straightest gay man ever he is like the most insane person out of the 2 of them because he just talks in a psychotic way
Straight man vs funny man splatfest is real and they are cooperating
@@JoeLikesBlue 25:22 truuuue
@@Number.1Yanfei.Fan123 Parkzer vs Dougdoug vs Chat splatfest when?
"It's not that I'm afraid of the water, it's that I tend to sink" is an incredible line
I think it isn't the a line or a hook, but a sinker.
Doug and Parkzer are like the two halves of the brain but as whole people, and watching them interact is fantastic
The left and right brain
Doug is the intrusive thoughts part of the brain and Parkzer is the logic that keeps you from giving in to those thoughts
The problem with the personification of intrusive thoughts is that without the suppressive conscience, that thing is going to continue to act on every single "intrusive" thought it has.
Parkzer blesses us with supreme sanity. “How am I supposed to make a decision with just this information”
Amen brother, dating apps are a dumpster fire.
Tbf, the decision isn’t “would I date this person”, it’s “do I want to talk to this person” and then based on that decide on dating or not
I'm gonna be honest with you here, sometimes what's put in there isn't enough for 'Would I talk to this person?' either.
@@jotarogoosjo.1582 At most, the information put in the dating apps are for "Should I avoid this person if I see them on the street?"
Parkzor is a phenomenon where him being a "Lawyer in training" somehow makes him truly more powerful than any actual full lawyer.
Parkzer speaks so slowly and meticulously as if he'll be sued or cancelled every time he opens his mouth
Hes a lawyer in Training... thats what he learns haha
I'm fairly certain that Parkzer is very autistic. That would explain the way he speaks. Autistic people tend to have more trouble communicating and so learn to talk very clearly young to be understood.
parkzer does speak like he knows he's being watched 24/7 by a team of lawyers who're ready to sue him the moment he says something vaguely untrue
@@olive4200 He is.
@@ohgodohnothebees he's got his eyes on that Character and Fitness test
Parkzer: "Will you please listen? I'm not a lawyer!"
Doug & Chat: "HE IS A LAWYER!"
Yeah that’s what happened
That's exactly what a lawyer would say!
I legitimately cannot tell if Parkzer is a master troll or not. He knows so many things and yet he doesn't. It really makes you think
He is *THE* master troll
He wiped out his entire memory bank clear of anything that isn't laws.
Honestly, he feels a bit autistic to me. Has his very special interests while being absolutely unknowing about almost anything else. Takes things very literally and doesn't understand a lot of jokes.
definitely not trolling, and if you need proof it's in the calendaring of events. He reminds me a lot of one person I know in particular, and he is 100% legit
As a new person to Parkzer (mainly watched the chat runs), the energy these to give off to each other is true friendship. Its like Doug is there to torment Parkzer and Parkzer has just accepted his fate.
"friendship"
And they were "roommates"
It's*
I love how confused parkzer was at a drink being named "Screwdriver", as someone who knows the story(Coal miners had orange juice rations while alchohal was prohibited and so they mixed vodka into thier orange juice and mixed it with screwdrivers) it is hilarious how upset he is.
alchohal
hmm yes if i mix coffee with a spoon i'm drinking a spoon
Why are you like this?@@JorgetePanete
@@lukeboy8081Wdym?
Parkzer is my favorite lawyer, especially when he’s trying to breed with a goldfish
That’s my favorite thing he does
You mean your favorite koala
@@ZachsOnQuack koala lawyer
Parkzer: Isn’t “rizz” strictly sexual?
Doug: *It’s in a watermelon.*
Thank you that doesn't answer my question
The way Parkzer says _"Douglas"_ with his entire chest exudes a -sexual- lawyer energy.
Can't wait til one of us gets too lonely from the divorce and writes explicit Doug x Parkzer fanfiction
@@royalblanket on it
@@starbow_lava5711oh no
@@starbow_lava5711 ty 🥵🥵
A rizz, even
10:19 This is something that lots of people need to hear in dating advice. Preferences and interests, while a decent starting point, are usually an ultimately unimportant aspect of your chemistry with another person. Hell, take Dougdoug and Parkzer. They have so little in common in terms of surface traits that people usually put on a dating profile, but there are things keeping them together that go deeper than that.
When you have some things in common with someone, but have a decent amount that is different, there will be a lot to talk about. Common ground is safety, but differences are interesting and discussion worthy.
You're absolutely right. You can have people that play games in the same room, and they can play the same game, but still have little to talk about because of their personalities
why is this so far down?? Real shit man
I’m so glad parkzer finally decided to collab with someone, even if it’s with this random guy no one’s ever met I’m still glad it happened, 10/10 video
.
@@crumpet-enjoyer excuse me I wasn’t talking about parkzer I was talking about the other dude,
@@crumpet-enjoyer so how about you read the text before you try to correct me
he deleted his comment lmao
@@Brainlerswho
Parkzer must be protected at all costs, he's a treasure we cannot lose in the divorce 😭
69 likes :)
And he must never discover what a muscle mommy is
Best line is “Douglas Douglas”
The fact that Doug and Parkzer have such conflicting personalities on stream is an amazing dynamic.
He greets him like that all the time btw.
Parkzer feels like a AI generated human based solely off people from the 80s
this is what peak peformance looks like
No way an AI could generate something as sophisticated as parkzer. He was definitely carefully handcrafted by a team of scientists.
@@Orillion123456 grown in a lab
Parkzer is the default human you see when you would see if created a human character.
@@mrself5824 That is a very strange statement to make about an extremely exceptional person like parkzer.
These two characters are equally starnge and enigmatic. Doug and Parkzer are a friendship made in heaven
Poppajournee8323, you were two Steps late. Your Jojo Reference was your only weakness.
I am convinced Parkzer is an 15th century middle aged Japanese man that's been isekaid into today's world and had a yokai tell him if he ever admits to it, he'd end the world so he has to always angrily and disappointedly try to answer everything in the most straight forward way to not get people suspicious.
Parkzer confirmed for Touhou 20?
Parkzer is the strongest "straight man" I've ever seen.
(In a comedy aspect, not sexual preference aspect.)
I mean that as well
He is probably the strongest straight man I've seen in a sexual preference aspect too
Agreed. Definitely a top contender for strongest straight man in a geometric aspect.
He is one of the strongest straight men in a fire aspect
he's the strongest straight man in an aspect ratio for sure
Parkzer is such an enigma, one second he is a cop then a gun owning attorney, And now a pornstar consultant who is deathly afraid of water. We should all aspire to be this man.
he's not afraid of water, he just... sinks
Parkzer is the ultimate straight man of any comedy duo
this. this right here. nailed it right on the head
I love how Parkzer is uncomfortable with with certain very normal things, but has a completely different experience with stuff that’s not normal.
Linguistics lesson: -"Rizz" is short for Charisma. Y'know, cha-rizz-ma.
-"Hits" is short for "Hits the spot". So "hits different" means it hits the spot better than other foods and "doesn't hit the same" means it doesn't hit the spot as much as it used to. Can also be used the same way in a non-food context.
-"Rips ass" means farts
"Maybe I was screw-driven as a 6 year old" god I love everything that Parkzer says
For Parkzer, Valentine's isn't just a day it's a state of being. The man oozes rizz
Jizz*
You mean jizz
Hes oozing allover the other lawyers and police officers
But hopefully not jizz
Its fucking hilarious how parkzer was more interested in the squirrel video than the dating profiles
i feel like parkzer is so aggressively neurodivergent its like I'm talking through him he is saying exactly what i would say
I was diagnosed with Autism a few years ago, and I see so much of myself in Parkzer.
@@a_literal_crow i thought you said digested with autism, thank you for the laugh
@@greenbeepm true, I consumed the autism to become the autism
@@greenbeepmwell when you’re diagnosed later in life, I’d imagine you need to digest that shift in self image for a bit.
@@greenbeepm Would that be eating yourself?
my favorite thing with Parkzer is I am never sure if he gets the joke or is just an IRL comedic straightman
Both, both is good.
Yep, both, he 100% gets the joke and is also an irl comedic, and possibly literal, straight man
Finally, a cure for our collective divorce
What type of cancer is that? I want them all.
The Doug-Parkzer Dynamic: Doug implies something incorrect for comedic effect; Parkzer reminds Doug that the statement was, in fact, incorrect, but only half of the time for comedic effect. This is why they work so well together, like puzzle pieces cut from the same mold.
This gets better every few minutes. Parkzer is so relatable. I love how he reacts so purely and honestly to _dating apps._ Then, we find out that he is a not-formally-educated legal consultant who works in the porn industry? But later, the money quote: “What is an embedded software engineer?” - “Like, he's very sleepy”. Amazing. Then, a shallow dive into the GDPR. What?! Luckily, Josh seems to reside in the USA, and the GDPR only applies within the EEA. You're safe, Josh! Later, we get some inside into US-American taxes, or so we are led to believe, and it turns out DouglasDouglas edited Parkzer's advice into a meme. I absolutely adore that Parkzer tracks his activities in his calendar. There's some information on the right time to re-finance loans. Thanks, Parkzer! I hope you take over this rotten channel soon, after DouglasDouglas gets convicted for locking D-colon in the basement.
I love how Parkser is just like a normal guy, it really highlights Doug's insanity and adds so much contrast
Doug is much more normal aside from the olive oil.
I’d like to say in todays day and age, Doug is the more normal of the two.
Fascinating how Parkzer was given media he enjoys and immediately started gaining a short attention span.
nice catch, nice thought
you mean squirrels and chipmunks ?
Parkzer and Doug are like two characters from completely different movie genres interacting.
It‘s like Parkzer is from a dry, realistic human drama…
And Doug is from a surreal cartoon!
Parkzer is the main character in a game while Doug is a random enemy
Parkzer is from Sherlock Holmes, while Doug is from Spongebob
Parkzer immediately pointing out dating app flaws is hilarious even though he is the master of dating
I want to have a hour long conversation with Parkzer about taxes, economics, and culinary arts now.
i actually refuse to believe that there is a man as normal and healthy as parkzer in the world
I don’t know if I would call that man normal and healthy. I mean I guess you COULD…
@@rugbug531 He is the PINNACLE of normal and healthy.
My favorite bit so far is 25:32 where Parkzer says "Just because I like sushi does not mean I become gay or bisexual"
Unfortunately that's the thing that got me but I hope he's able to hold out for the long run (if he wants, lol)
Also, I really liked the part where he said "it's Parking time" and then parked all over the place
@@fernbear3950 *Parkzin' time, FTFY
@@ashb7 *smacks noodles snacks* oh no, i knew what i was doing bxi.... ;D
Parkzer: "If you are a straight man, do not attempt to date me."
So you're saying a gay man has a chance?
Idk but we can find out
I'm autistic, and the relationship Parker has with Doug is the exact relationship I have with my neurotypical friends. It's absolutely great, lol.
Parkzer* How could you possibly miss-spell his name like that?
What're you, autistic? Oh wait...
I love the way chat really loves and respects Parkzer while teasing him just enough to get a reaction. It's great to see. Mobs are not often kind to severely autistic people.
@@discordlexia2429 Yeah! I'm not sure if he's autistic or not (I don't want to diagnose strangers!) but damn, I legitimately adore how he and the chat are so respectful with each other.
You can tell he's getting as much of a kick out of this as Doug is.
@@discordlexia2429 I think that how much adoration Doug has for Parkzer has rubbed off on his chat. Also, Parkzer will unexpectedly deliver the harshest burns to Doug, and you know we love to see our guy get dunked on.
Parkzer is autistic? I'm confused sounded normal to me
I didn't laugh this hard in a while.. love the dynamic these two have together. Parkzer is genuinely so wholesome, Doug delivering so many funny comments with a straight face is hilarious as well
The duality of Doug purposely changing the narrative and Parkzer having to correct him constantly for *legal purposes* is so hilarious
50 MINUTES of Pure love between Parkzer and Doug!?!?! Hope Twitch chat Doesn't cause them to Divorce
Parkzer is so serious it loops around to being hilarious, he and Doug have a great friendship
I love how literal parkzer is in contrast to how sarcastic and absurd Doug can be, it’s a brilliant duo
"No, i had orange juice and alcohol, not a screw... SCREWDRIVER?!"
Parkzer not knowing things is pure comedy
I love the dynamic between Parkzer and Doug, the fact that Parkzer takes everything super seriously while Doug is just aloof. Sometimes I wonder how they became friends or if Parkzer is just playing an act.
Parkzer is just the worlds most perfect straight man.
(For Parkzer reading this. I know it's presumptuous of me but straight man is a comedy term for someone who is serious so the funnyman has someone who contrasts them.)
First a bunny suit, and then a unicorn costume. Is there something DougDougDoug wants to tell us?
uwu
Furry?
You forget the otter suit too
2 is reasonable, but 3 costumes/onesies is a collection
Dont forget his unhinged humans should have tails rant
We need a f*cking sitcom with these two.
I would watch the HELL out of that sitcom
It would be genuinely incredible
Parkzer is like an alien that learned human customes from legal documents and try to understand in real life.
9:22 I feel like if I ever need to explain to someone why we love Parkzer, this is the best clip I could show. He is, at every moment, incredibly thorough and precise while being hilariously out of his depth at other random things.
i fucking love how parkzer backtracked twice just to make rizz sound as nerdy as anyone could ever make it
I like how Parkzer just questions society the whole while Doug tries to explain how it’s supposed to work even though it shouldn’t
I fucking adore how Parkzer is slowly growing more comfortable on the channels, and is slowly starting to joke more. It’s nice to see.
Parkzers realizm is the perfect balance to Doug's energy and comedy, I love seeing their interactions
“I was screwdriven as a 6 year old” is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.
God the comic relief/straight man comedic dynamic with doug and parkzer is so endlessly funny and obviously genuine, I love it
Since we recently found out about Doug CLEARLY being a gay virgin, I'm glad he hired Parkzer to create a suitable dating profile
i love how chat and doug will agree on little except our collective infatuation with parkzer and rosa
Parkzer is the weirdest mix of the most knowledgeable and worldly person in the room, and also an alien that just crash landed on earth a half hour ago and has gotten past the initial panic and is on to the battle of acceptance, while truly having absolutely no clue what is going on.
34:02 “There is no belt system for guns.”
Oh yeah? What about belt-fed machine guns, Parkzer?
Doug: "Why don't you go ahead and introduce Bill here Parkzer"
Parker: "Hello Bill"
Parkzer feels like ChatGPT as a human. He also always feels the need to explain that he isn't something or can't do something, like god dammit just do what I'm asking and write some porn!
You want NovelAI for that. She never lets me down. Except the infinite loops or when she tries to murder me, 10/10.
She still can't understand the concept of a swirlie very well though, so anything more 'creative' she might struggle.
@@mandowarrior123 bro what porn includes a swirlie 😭😭😭
@@bobfish1290 I saw a lesbian bully porno with a swirlie
@@bobfish1290 OK Mr Boring, my girl in high school liked to play bully ;)
@@mandowarrior123 i don't think BobFish speaks bottom
edit: nvm judging by the fact he used the crying emojis he does speak bottom, just a different dialect
Parkzer is the most matter-of-fact person I have ever seen and I really respect that. His disclaimers are hilarious. "I'm not an attorney."
"what is an embedded software engineer" "like he's just very sleepy" i LAUGHED
Doug: “So parkzer, what kind of rizz does this dog have?”
Parkzer: “Isn’t rizz strictly sexual?”
Doug: “He’s in a watermelon.”
Dougs face at 6:48 after parkzer said "Well I guess I was screwdriven" is hilarious to me lmao.
“as a 6 year old”
I love parkzer so much, there is so much charm in a person so uninvolved in the TH-cam-sphere doing TH-cam things
Parkzer is incredible, he takes everything so literally and Doug is so silly, it's like watching a sitcom with them together
Parkzer is the most unreasonable reasonable man I've ever seen.
Doug could say "He did cocaine, IN FRONT OF ME, YESTERDAY."
And Parkzer would just be like "Yes, I have done cocaine." And it would seem like the most normal thing in the world.
when i was 5 my grandma accidentally gave me leftover screwdriver from a party and i told her the orange juice was spicy and she told me that it wasn't and to just drink it. hopefully parkzer can get my grandma locked up for that with his connections as a police lawyer
I love how confused Parkzer is when confronted by the modern day panopticon that is dating profiles.
Parkzer is literally a computer wrapped in skin. He does not know what leisure time is and does not consume any media for fun, yet he logs every minute of every day dating back years and constantly tells new facts to everyone, including his close friend.
“computer wrapped in skin”
Fuck you for making me think of this but you’re objectively correct.
Very autism energy, he’s my favorite main character.
Nah hees just a lil wierdo(in a good way)
For as much insanity this stream was, and despite Parker having no experience with dating apps, the advice he gave was very good lmao
Truly that is someone who understands rizz
Parkzer explaining rizz like its a scientific study is so funny 💀
6:23 - I remember seeing this part live; I still find it hilarious how completely offended he was by the name "screwdriver" for a drink 😂
I love Parkzer's classic catch-phrase, "I'm not a lawyer". These videos should really have a laugh track every time he says his classic catch-phrase.