What Every Kid Wish They Said To Their Parent!! *Tough Conversations* (Chai Talk Ep 31)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- A very REAL and insightful conversation between Wajeeh and Mama Jee about problems within desi culture that EVERY parent / kid can relate to!
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@wajeeh , if you are going to raise your kids differently , as in being more laid back with your kids , it’s not because you are smarter than your mother . It’s only because your mom raised you the right way and pushed you to be a lawyer . Now you have money and you don’t need to depend on your kids or expect anything from your kids . Kudos to your mom for that to be honest . It doesn’t mean that you “get things” more than she does , you just happen to be so lucky to be living a top tier life so now you can provide the best for your kids and not expect anything in return. It’s all about circumstances . Your parents worked their ass of for you - and you will owe them forever
Exactly 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻
I really like this comment, it makes absolute sense ❤
so you think she had to push him to be a lawyer for him to be able to treat his kids better?
Oh plz we are not goras, and we are muslims, we dont leave parents alone in old home. Plz...who has more rights on you according to hadees and Quran is your parents.
i love the pod cast but wajeeh you sound like a gora and a spoilt brat! if she asks u how was ur day, thats a normal question a mother asks.......your whole episode was so sad. you are a muslim child with deen and alhumdullilah are educated. but come on grow up, u are also gonna be a parent and one day if ur kids be rude or dont talk to you, only then u will feel like OH OKAY, THIS IS WHAT MY MUM KEPT SAYING grow up and be there for ur mum and dont upset her by not wanting to talk to her. Islam hasn't changed the generations of children has.....we will all have to answer to Allah. have a balance, if u speak to her like a loving son maybe she will give u the space u crave for. Allah guide us all to be better
I’m sorry but watched the first 12 minutes and Wajeeh is so wrong in this. I’m sorry but saying you get irritated by your mother who is kind enough to cook for you everyday, raised you, birthed you when she asks you questions is SO rude and disrespectful. You would not say that even to a stranger so I cannot believe the audacity to say that to your mother! Clearly, she’s only asking about your like because she wants to make conversation with you so if you don’t want to talk about yourself then ask about her day!? Simple.
Also saying that sharing your problems with your parents “doesn’t do anything for you” or doesn’t “add anything” is genuinely just so close minded, you are not better than your parents or smarter than your parents. That’s the vibe those kind of comments give. Your parents have years of life experience that you will never have and if you fail to appreciate and value that, that’s extremely sad. Acting like you are above their advice is genuinely laughable because they are the reason you are where you are in life today.
I feel like as a grown adult this whining at brown parents for every small thing is getting so old. When you’re 15 it’s different. But in your 20s/30s you really need to approach parents with more compassion.
I’m not saying parents are perfect but it’s disappointing to say the least to see you speaking and treating mamajee like an inconvenience to your life. You need to reevaluate your priorities in life if you feel that way.
Its her first time being your mother too..
Wajeeh needs to understand that the white people he’s taking about have retirement accounts and are self sufficient, whereas our parents sacrificed their lives to give us and themselves a better future and lived paycheck to paycheck. I don’t think they would expect anything if they didn’t have to. You won’t have to depend on your kids like your parents do because of the sacrifices your parents made.
i feel like you guys pretty much talk about the same topic every episode now lol.. getting kinda stale. neither of you are budging or coming to a compromise so it's just the same conversation every time
its part of the process. this is how these conversations go in real life.
Agreed with the comment above^ it’s a process and these topics wouldn’t be so difficult to begin with if they could simply be resolved in a handful of episodes. Some of us still relate to it pretty deeply
Redundant and boring. Unsubscribed.
It brings out a new perspective every time. Especially for people who have been through it and still struggling to come on terms with it. But I agree the topic might not appeal all.
Please bring both your MaMaji and your father to the table at the same time. That will be very interesting and hilarious!😂😂🤣🤣
I could bring up a lot of points that seem to be causing an issue between you two, and a few of those have already been mentioned by other comments but i feel that its becoming more and more evident now that Wajeeh simply needs space and does not want to live with or near family members especially because he knows Ahmed is living on his own away from home with no responsibilities, nor alot of input/contact with his family members (forgive me if im wrong, but thats what ive gathered from multiple conversations of yours). Im actually a little sad to see how distanced Ahmed is from his own family but is completely the opposite with others that are around him, or even with his inlaws. Im sure that as a mother that definitely bothers mama jee, but on the other hand Wajeeh feels that he's mising out on everything when it comes to just living life on your own terms. Well, Wajeeh, you're not a prisoner, you know. It's better to distance yourself and live on your own than to lose respect and love for your own family because your irritation, lack of understanding and quite honestly lack of respect and love is showing. I hope you watch these episodes back and realize your mistakes and learn from them. None of us are perfect and everyone makes mistakes in life. So, looking upto people who distance themselves from their families is not a trophy you should be aiming for✌🏼❤️
I noticed this too
Imagine getting all this education and living the dream life and still disrespecting your own mom on camera. This guy really needs someone to tell him the truth. He acts like the world revolves around him. I can only imagine how disrespectful he is to his parents behind camera
Everyone in the comments must have super chill parents…that’s why yall disagree with him. I 100% agree
No doubt we reach places or achieve things due to the way our parents said or did things but there are parents who have a different approach whose children also reach high and achieve things. Wajeeh is right that the things they say or the way they do things does affect us deeply and should have a more compromisable and positive approach which may support the child to achieve even better.
You guys should choose different topics to keep it interesting
just ordered the sheets from Miracle!! thank u for the episodes and to giving us a coupon code :D
More mama jee bashing.
Mama is right for real
Mama jee! Parents made the choice to move abroad, then have kids/bring kids. When they're young, Parents made the choice to be in this country for themselves. Ab bachey road pai tau nahi phenkanai.. anyone who comes from a poor background has to suffer everywhere. If you suffered, doesn't mean kids should suffer as well. Sb sai barh k when Parents were sacrificing "for" kids the kids were dependent and following the directions. Do the Parents listen and follow their adult kid's directions?
Honestly the more I watch these episodes the more I get irritated and annoyed by Wajeeh
Esp when he cuts off his mom and exaggerates smthn she said
yesFirstsyesMashaAllahsyes
Wajeeh you’re rude dude like come on??? We are muslims and its our right to take care of our parents like they did when we were kids but nobody wants to understand this these days anymore because they are so called modern kids they just wanna do what they wanna do without parents interfering but let me tell you brother you’re being nothing but rude to your mom. I know it wasn’t your decision to come into this world but you cannot just keep taunting her with this excuse every single time its embarrassing. Wajeeh just overthinks everything and compare his life to gorasss but sorry brother, we love our culture and we love to do whatever we can for our parents because we love them not because they are our RESPONSIBILITY. Please change your thinking. You will only realise it when you become a parent period. I recently gave birth to my son and i know how freaking hard it is to take care of him. You have to literally kill yourself just imagine waking up every half an hour all night just to feed the baby and put him to sleep. Change his diaper make sure he is well. It takes everything. At the end of the day, i am exhausted. Salute to our parents i have realised their worth more now and you will do too once you become a parent and i really pray you do !!!
🙏🙏❤️
Very true! Although wajeehs feelings of how he feels are valid and you can’t ignore all of what he feels or says. But I do agree with you
Dude, Wajeeh you sound so full of yourself. I did empathize with you in the beginning but now it almost feels like you think you have bought your way out of being emotionally there for your parents because you provide some financial support.
It’s sad…I think you’re right- you do need to talk through this with maybe a professional because really you can get nowhere close to the sacrifices your parents have made for you and to help get you where you are.
Similar to you, I’ve been able to provide for my mom as well and actually feel blessed that Allah gave me that opportunity to provide some relief for the years of hard work she spent on me. Idk man- I had to shut the podcast off at the 28:00 mark because I couldn’t hear it anymore. Idk if it got better but it was making me cringe at that point.
Love ya mamajee! You’re a rockstar!
Does papa jee not work?
I kind of agree that there is an expectation from the parents.
But Wajeeh definitely sounds like if he’s supporting his parents financially that means all other responsibilities shouldn’t be his problem. You’re capable of doing all this because of your parent’s sacrifices, hard-work and the education they were able to provide for you.
Who are parents supposed to turn to in their old age?
Too bad you were born in an immigrant desi family Wajeeh. Mamajee can be a little toxic at times but this one was not nice on Wajeeh’s part.
Well, as a mother I’m saying this. Have 2 boys. We shouldn’t burden our children unnecessarily too. Just because it was our choice to bring them to this world, we can constantly blackmail them. Purpose is, to bring up the Kids so eventually once they’re adults, they can start their own life & families later & cycle continue. The only thing I expect from my children is help out around house when still living at home or atleast do their own stuff,talk to us nicely when we’re not wrong & appreciate the efforts. Parents shouldn’t blackmail their kids, nor have unrealistic expectations or unnecessarily interfere in their life once they’re adults. It’s not their job to financially support their parents , it should be out of their own will. Parents should have savings for their old age.
Parents sometimes push their children away & then cry.
The only thing I notice in Wajeeh is that he should let him mom talk too when discussing. Probably it’s happening due to frustration, genuine circumstantial or overthinking.
Wajeeh was not expected to provide he chose to and when he commited to such a huge mortgage he them lost his law job and now he jus complains and whines. Who told him to buy such an expensive house and then renovate it too? It's like those ppl who force favours upon you then expect you to be grateful
Completely agree. Theirs a certain annoyance in the tone in which he speaks to his mum. Seems like maybe he doesn't even like her. I don't get it. We should feel honoured to be able to provide for our parents at our big age with them big boy jobs lol t's not something you get an award for. It's just what you sincerely want to do from the bottom of your heart out of pure love. He seems to be throwing it all at her which is so odd to see a son do.
Where I agree with certain things, he says, this issue is just petty to another level. No son should make a mother feel as if providing for her is a burden. It's disheartening to see him say all this to her.
Wajeeh I think you need to learn to appreciate what your parents have sacrificed and done for you, and accept it. You're in a position where you won't have to rely and depend on your children so much in the future insha'Allah because of your mother and father's sacrifices, hard work, and the way they raised you. If your mum didn't push you at school then you wouldn't have gone to law school, became a lawyer, got a good job and money, and then you too would have had those expectations from your children. Immigrant parents like your mum are trying to break the cycle. It's just surprising you can't see it, my mother was the exact same as mamajee and even though I hated it when I was in school, at university getting my masters etc I alhamdulillah thank my parents for everything they did for me because I have a decent job now and am educated and insha'Allah won't have to rely on my children in the future. Coming from someone who is younger than you and has been married 5+ years, and currently doesn't have a mother in her life! Your mum as well, imagine how she feels having these conversations again and again with you, feeling like you don't appreciate her or that you're doing nice things for her but then throwing it back in her face or airing it out on social media. Women are built differently especially our mothers, they are a lot more emotional and take things to heart. You're actually very lucky you have such an understanding mother who is trying to listen and change, sure all mothers have flaws, but atleast she is willing to listen and have these discussions. You alhamdulillah have a lot of freedom and both your parents in your life, do these little things really matter if we are blessed to have a roof over our head, food, water, family, freedom, education, and other necessities? Both you and mamajee should agree to disagree and focus on keeping your mother son relationship as healthy as can be. Especially when you look at this all from an Islamic perspective, our parents are ranked so high for a reason, and we should do whatever we can to ensure we secure a place in jannat which lies beneath your mothers feet. Thanks for the episodes, these chats even open my eyes and make me think about what I should or can do for my parents or how I can better my relationship. Sending love, from the UK !
Couldn’t have said it better. Normally I understand wajeeh but in this video he was WRONG!
Immigrant parents that did odd jobs weren’t able to afford to save for their old age. Because they were supporting their families back home. There are so many expectations from families back home. You’re supporting families back home and providing the best for your children and in the process you forget about yourself. I relate because as a couple in late 30’s/early 40’s we are going through this.
I completely understand where mamajee is coming from.
Wajeeh I’ve watched you for a long time and always given you the benefit of the doubt but I don’t agree with you anymore. Hats off to mama jee, she speaks with such grace and patience. She is your backbone, don’t ever forget that or take it for granted. Providing for her shouldn’t feel like liability, you should feel blessed you can give back.
please stop interrupting your mom lolll
literallyyy
I read this the other day:
Be kind to your mother, remember it’s her first time navigating life too.
The older our parents get they have wants, needs and care too you shouldn’t see it as a chore it’s a privilege.
Also if you’re living with your parents don’t treat it as “Your Parents house” it’s a family house and everyone should pitch in and help out as and where they can.
Wish more of us understood this sadly some siblings do while others don’t
Wajeeh, my bro. This episode was hard to watch. Although you had valid points, your delivery and discussion manners were poor. It was just plain rude. Moving forward you need to relax your tone, maintain composure, avoid constantly interupting your mother and taking unnecessary shots at her. I hope this was an out of character moment for you.
I understand you might have built up frustration, but be a man, and stay composed. You've done injustice to your valid message. Think of it this way; your message was a $100 bill, but your delivery was dog sh*t. Would you pick up a $100 bill that is covered in dog sh*t?
I wish you all the best. May Allah keep increasing your blessings. Aameen.
Momma is a legend wajeeh you need to relax you just sound like a baby always complaining there’s pros and cons to older generation parents more pros then cons yeah we all grew up in strict backgrounds but if your parents didn’t push us then we wouldn’t be where we are today and yeah every child feels your way until you have your own kids and you have to follow cycle it’s easy for you to judge a parent but really judgement is when you have your own children trust me life is tough yeah parents should word things differently instead of saying oh why you got a A- rather say it’s ok next time try this or try achieving higher but it’s not that that deep!!!! We pissed our parents of enough growing up so if they say a few things no point sitting and crying about it. Yes it’s parents choice of having kids but what about when parents are not planning on kids they’re on contraceptives and still get pregnant it’s not always you wanted to have kids sometimes it’s just written by Allah can’t blame parents for wanting a successful child please be more gentle with your mother when she’s not here one day you will look back and thinh damn I complained about stupid shit
Wajeeh needs to understand that the white people he’s taking about have retirement accounts and are self sufficient, whereas our parents sacrificed their lives to give us and themselves a better future and lived paycheck to paycheck. I don’t think they would expect anything if they didn’t have to. You won’t have to depend on your kids like your parents do because of the sacrifices your parents made.
Why are you communicating like that.. not so GENTLEman
I don’t agree with the comments saying you repeat the same topics every episode and end up getting nowhere. I loved this conversation. Thank you for putting our frustrations as adult children of minorities into words!!! ❤
Bro Wajeeh with all the respect this is very rude you shouldn’t talk to your mother like this they tried their best to bring you up to the best of their abilities they done what they knew now times have changed yes but the way you explain to your mother it’s not the right way to explain I will make this really short there was a person at the time of rasul Allah he said my father eats my wealth and shares it with others the outcome was at the end that his father owns him and his wealth as he will never be able to pay him back as he’s come to this world because of them
I feel like you are so wrong at some points that you mentioned. I dont agree with you brother. Mamajee thanks for sacrifices because ur kids are here what they are doing its all because of you❤️ sending love and positivity
Thanks for acknowledging my comment. I am fan of your lip shades.❤
Why don’t I usually help out to the extent my parents expect is because of the comments I get while I do the said thing.
Example: while I cook or while I clean. Majority of the time the tane and the comments that comes with doing the task is mentally draining. And no matter what I do, it’s never right.
I could get by constructive criticism, but you know, it’s always manipulative criticism which, to me. It does not help.
So in order to avoid all the comments and the exhaustion of dealing with it, and for my own sanity. I try to avoid doing the said tasks/chores itself :)
Wajeeh you are full of nonsense
Goran people also expect something in return
Wajeeh you can even tell your Mum in the podcast you don’t want to share anything because you feel it’s not a safe space and Mama Jee didn’t kill you is big step in itself. Some kids can’t even say that to their parents. I used to be more on your side but today Mama Jee is said very valid point and I agree with her these days kids don’t help parents with house chores. I think hats off to the kids who do help their parents. May Allah protect all the kids and keep on straight path, Ameen
Majority of parents love their kids unconditionally but when they do something for them without asking the amount of duas come out of your heart I can’t even explain. Don’t get me wrong parents pray for the kids even they don’t do anything.😅 I’m myself 44years old mother of three kids. I can relate as a child to Wajeeh and Mama Jee. I would suggest you should go for family therapy if you really love your parents and want to improve your relationship.
They don't expect anything from their kids because they kick them out when they grow up and if they stay with parents they have to contribute, they just don't keep them for free.
How long are you going to blame your parents? Take accountability and understand you have your own autonomy i don’t understand why this is even a discussion. You’re a grown ass man, your parents only knew what they did and you cannot continue to blame them for their “shortcomings” move on dude
Mama jee set wajeeh marriage ASAP he is not doing well. When he becomes a father only then he will understand.
Looks like they got sponsors for their podcast so now they don’t need to put any creativity into their topics. Y’all need to find something new to talk about. I feel like I’m watching the same episode on repeat.
Damn right it's all.he has BCS he don't have any real guests to invite. U have his mum who should act her age and funny enough he should too would U even guess he's pretty much 30. No one asking him to be boring but damn be a man
Also I’m in my early 30’s and if you recon we can repay our parents no chance we can’t even for 1 night of what they do and also shout out to all the hardworking dads out grafting doing any job to provide a good life to there kids. We all live in a western world white people are all in care homes when they are old with no one kids to be seen, we are Pakistani and ‘western world’ has corrupted our youngsters thinking they want a white life living life to fullest with no one telling them what to do
Wajeeh get a wife and let Mama jee have her peace of mind. 😂
Wajeeh you are always annoyed of your mother. You wana be left alone? Fear the time your mother will no longer be alive. What you are doing for them is nothing, you can never repay your parents.
Ngl the more episodes you release the more boring this podcast gets. Like i actually get a headache because it feels like you two are talking in circles and about similar topics.
Wajeeh, you need to admit that you resent providing your parents with a home and then still expected to live with them. I think you hoped it might be your get of jail card and Mama jee would have said “go live on your own. We’ll manage from this point onwards.” You are building up resentment even though you want to be a good son. It’s time to set up boundaries and figure out plans to get your own place.
Wajee don't cut off ur mother while she is talking at the end she was just wishing people zulhijja n u did not allow her to speak with out interruptions.
Mamaji, you are more beautiful than J-Lo and Black Lively put together mashaAllah ❤
❤❤❤❤😘💯
Bless Wajee, it's called discipline, son! I dont walk 3 miles to go get water, but our kids , neices, and nephews are disciplined. They help around the house, and they help their siblings. Before culture, we are following our Islam, serving your parents is the least we can do.
This is rediculous of course as a parent we will expect them to look after us what’s wrong in that nothing why are we trying to follow goras why have you ever seen them how they are treated in their house and how we been treated by our parents huge difference goras don’t expect bcz they want their kids to move out when they are 18 but what about us living the best life getting the best education food made by mom provide clothes everything and when you finish studies have a good job than obviously our parents expect and nothing is wrong with that we should always remember we are Muslim
You cleaning your own room and Laundry lol wow wajeeh
Wajeeh do you understand how lucky you are that your mum wants to talk to you about you? Like she’s actually making the effort to come to you and talk about how you’re feeling, what you’ve been doing, what you saw today etc…. Be grateful man because a lot of kids wish their parents more like that.
wajeeh at first I agreed w you regarding this topic, but now it feels like you’re very wrong on some points, the way you convey them even and it’s so wrong how you keep interrupting ur mom. respectfully, learn how to be patient and rmr your mom can make mistakes too it’s her first time living as well.
Hey lovely mama please send all the dishes fabulous lady bless you xxx
can you guys please talk about other topics? i feel like I am still watching part 50 of the first episode
BLACK LIVELY 🤣🤣🤣🤣
it's only in recent history that non-desi people have been able to be hands off with their kids, almost everyone took care of their parents before that.
THE LEGEND IS BACK WITH MORE GREAT MOMENTS WITH MAMA JEE.😂.
I think what our parents fail to acknowledge is that their method of encouragement was not healthy which instilled fear into the kids. Instead of motivating/pushing the kids in a healthy/loving manner, they did what they thought was best, which was just repeating what their own parents had done to them.
Wajeeh you really need to do a podcast with your lovely nano…
"why you guys don't talk to us" that's because you don't create an emotionally safe environment for us to talk about our feelings
Yup, 110% and if you say this to them...they will get upset at you, argue, and prove your point (though they'll never understand that part)
I am glad u say it everything which we can’t express
Let Mama Jee talk 😢😢😢
My favorite podcast team ever!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😅😅😊😊
I am watching this while running on the treadmill 😅 love it
There are some really good points made in this video. immigrant parents do ALOT for their kids no doubt but a majority think just because they made all those sacrifices it's okay to control their kids' lives and make decisions for them.
Wajeeh should do a masterclass on how to do a podcast and 100 episodes on the same topic in different ways.
Unpopular opinion: perhaps they both need therapy. I don't think they understand each other at all.
unpopular opinion: you need therapy
@zua240 sending you hugs babe ❤️
If parents want the kids to make up to the sacrifices they made, would the parents be ready to follow each and everything the kids say.. if kids are making grilled chicken with salad, would the parents eat the same?? Kids do eat, wear, do whatever the parents decide for them.. but parents never act according to the kids when they are dependent and thats what raises the problems. You cant expect the kids to drive for you if you're sitting on the driving seat yourself..
Tbh i am getting turned off from your behaviour towards your mother
Wajeeh you should help with more chores, especially if it's communal chores - taking out the trash, sweeping/dusting the common areas, helping mama with the grocery shopping or some prep work like cutting veggies. It's just doing your fair share since you're GROWN and not a little child who's incapable anymore. Think of it as house-mates.
Salam alaikum I agree with Mama jee when she talks about how parents struggle and give up and go without for there kids my husband Tunisian I'm American married 19 yrs lived here in Tunisia 6 yrs and I see this all the time my sister in law can barely pay rent can't afford meat for her family doesn't buy new clothes she spends everything on her son alhumdullah they live in a one room all together I see this all the time here parents give up all in hopes that there children will have a better life and yes my husband and me struggle but nothing like them may Allah grant these parents who struggle for the sake of Allah and there children what ever country they from be given jannah ameen
Wajeeh, I feel in this episode you were extremely rude and not welcoming any of her thoughts or ideas. You kept interrupting every time she said anything or kept talking over her. If she's saying she needs a little help around the house then doing the dishes or vacuuming the house isn't going to kill you. Do better.
Hollup yalls desi parents ask u how ur doing !????
Your mom keeps saying “no” but then she complains about your older brother not doing anything for her. 🤔
This dude needs to start respecting his mom. You are so blessed to be where you are and if there are some things which you don’t agree with this is deffo not the way to address them.
Wajeeh thanks for this, I feel like you’ve put into words the heart of every first diaspora kid
HAHAHA I get giddy after these chats. She’s so entertaining
Wajeeh I normally agree with you, but in this you’re wrong 😂
Wow baddie
I always look forward to your chai talk 😊 ❤
The more I watch the more I think that maybe the mother is the narcissist and wajeeh subconsciously knows about it that's why he doesn't wanna share his life with his mom. That's his boundary
I think Wajeeh should just have conceded defeat. Its true that desi kids don't help parents w chores. And Wajeeh living w his parents, he reaps the perks. The food, home maintenance etc and we need to admit that
BLACK LIVELY HELPPP
Mama Jee you literally make my day🤣
What time does mama wake up?
Lol
Wajeeh might be onto something wallahi I never thought about that deeply but just on a surface level one of the reasons why as minorities we might be failing is because of the comments they constantly made about us like I’m African and I’ve heard the same comments and so many other minorities have heard these comments
EID coming soon!!!! We work hard everyday love family and to support!!!!!😊😊😊😊❤❤❤❤❤
It’s so hard sometimes trying to be understanding but our parents aren’t perfect. So we should give them grace too.
I feel like Wajeeh was tired
Wonderfully vlog ❤❤
I feel bad for Mama Jee 😢❤❤❤
Same damn topic like really?? Was cute like 10 years ago your 30 now it's lame