@@KatyLawson I'm also not watching it, but from a very cursory glance at the comments on those videos it looks like Dan's calendars are so shit that Ashens is winning basically every episode.
I'm one hundred percent sure only a deranged maniac made those. I can attest I had several of those when I was a toddler and it's been ingrained into the back of my mind for years, plus I was born in '05 and I don't think AIs were that smart to make uncanny valley children's book at '09-10 (probably). The reality of this means some real ass person created these with their own two hands is more horrifying to comprehend rather than a souless AI
@@Sommersolsyeah, I'm from 2001, and my grandparents had one of these books in 2004. I'm pretty sure it wasn't made by AI. Pretty sure there was also non christmas ones, and ones for easter that were just as "well drawn"
The same guy probably draws them every year, hating life more and more as time goes on, eating a bigger bag of mushrooms or other substance before he gets to work to make his pointless sad existence slightly tollerable
Surely those were marketed as office-specific crackers!? Although it was weird that there was also a heart charm in the mix ~ workplace romance, woo woo lol
I love the colouring book part, it’s the best lmao, always remember those cheap pound/bargain shop books with that distinctly crap paper that repelled every colouring device you used on it, crayons NEVER stuck to it, and if they did they looked terrible, also they always had the weirdest pictures, as demonstrated in these episodes 😂 good old fashioned cheap British colouring books, man, never change
I don't know why, but in my experience tennis balls marketed for dogs tend to last about 2 play sessions before they've been turned into a dangerous mess of felt and rubber, whilst actual tennis balls last for years. Maybe that's the Grinch part - they choke your dog to death?
Tennis courts are hard to find anymore but I had one near me years and years ago. I would just ask random people playing if they had a couple of worn out tennis balls in their bucket for my dog and they would give a few over. Tennis balls wear out fast, which is why there are so many in a tube when you buy them. Once the elasticity wears off the balls don't bounce right anymore and they become junk for practice. @@OptimusSledge
@@RXBSXBEY-hh8hn Interesting timing. I made that comment 11 months ago and you reply about 10 minutes after my dog dies in real life (although not from choking on a dog tennis ball).
Has anybody ever seen the episode with Mr. Bean with one of those crackers in Christmas and he puts in other explosive powder in. That reminds me of that big cracker. Boom.😂😂😂😂😂😂🎉
The coloring books have really been gems these past couple specials. Someone needs to make sure these horrors are available forever on the internet for sure. xD
Does make me wonder if either Poundland buying team have a wicked sense of humour, or their factory is having a laugh or both. Either way I don't believe someone at Poundland hadn't mentioned it before it made it to the shops...
3:36 we have three light up snowmen that look to be the same basic design just without the fabric face. Had them for years, the LEDs are starting to give out
Was taking my turkey back tomorrow as it seemed there was not going to be an Xmas special and that means no Christmas the kids say thanks ashens as they gets a Christmas now
When the coloring book came out, man, I hadn't laughed that hard in a while. P.S. Where I work, we use plastic paper clips for MRI safety questionnaires!
I really, really want to buy one of those coloring books. That is clearly an elf leg in the lion cage, that is definitely a boot on the left of the bone. And I'm pretty sure Santa took off more than his shirt in the previous picture. That "pocket" is either a weird tattoo, a parasite, a birthmark, or an old war wound. And how the hell does the elf's leg bend that way at 19:17. I need more of that in my life.
I haven't watched an ashens video in years after watching constantly years ago then just drifting into other topics, and wow these videos are still exactly as excellent as they always have been! How comforting.
Ashen I may not watch every video of yours but when the algorithm is dry, I can always count on you to make critiquing random/seasonal tat enjoyable. Thank you Mr. Ashens
I actually have the duckmas tree on my Christmas tree. The poundland i went to had them all with misprinted eyes and dents in the head or just melten / mis shapen heads so i got the derpiest one
Rudolph isn't crying, his eyes are watering from being stuck to the front of a ball as it travels at Mach 3. Ceramic Santa has sustained multiple stellate wounds from having the barrel of the gun pressed against him when discharged. Are any of us surprised that someone whose job consists of gluing tiny clogs onto trolls doesn;t actually give a 💩about their job?
What IS going on with Dollar Tree? Mine is weirder every time we go in. The craft aisle is HUGE now, which is the only good thing. No other shops in town 😢
No idea. Mine is really a dump. Last couple times I went in they had a rat problem, and a lot of the food was expired. I had gotten some yogurt before and got sick from it, turned out it was 7 months expired. Due to strict US food regulations and import tariffs, Dollar Tree stuff is a lot more "filtered" than stuff from UK pound shops. That's a lot less weird and goofy things and more of just overstock from other retailers sold at discounts. I have found lots of movies and books with Walmart, Barnes & Noble, and Target tags still on them.@@athenathegreatandpowerful6365
Having grown up with a fiberoptic lamp and spending the years picking bits of the glass lines out of my feet, watching you squeeze and crush the tree had me cringing in distress.
I'm working in an American dollar store this Christmas season, the stores are absolutely overrun with Gonks. They're all just called 'Gnomes' in America, We never used the word Gonk in the first place. And people love them?? We sell so damn many... My roommate is obsessed as well?? She has gnome decor for all seasons. Almost all of it from the dollar store brand I work at.
What the hell happened to colouring books?? I'm 39 and as a kid we had detailed, cute books; even the thick super cheap ones weren't near this level of tat.
![[#2024MAMA] G-DRAGON - 무제(Untitled, 2014)+POWER+HOME SWEET HOME+뱅뱅뱅+FANTASTIC BABY | Mnet 241123 방송](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Ox29z5Nf1Uk/mqdefault.jpg)
It's not Christmas without an Ashens Christmas special!
Christmas started with the Ashens Advent videos
I and my Reliable Reindeer agree. You need both.
Indeed!
So, during 1990-1999 you didn't have a Christmas? No presents, just said "fvck it, no ashens, no Xmas"?
@@Boogie_the_cat that's exactly what I did.
In the 80s I used to watch Ashens on RadTube (an 80s version of TH-cam).
Nice duck plug.
Nice plug duck
i unironically love that rubber duck, he just looks so happy about being a tree.
send it too Wade! (DankPods) MY DUCK!!
He looks more like he's cosplaying as a gimp suited car shock absorber.
I love this duck too! It so silly and cheerful
He is overjoyed to be a tree and so would i
I have all of them, now my kids are roasting me for bombing Christmas so hard my decs have ended up in an Ashens video, I may never recover 🤦🏻♀️🤣
I cannot stress this enough.
Somebody.
Got.
*Paid.*
To.
Draw.
That.
Book.
Some people get paid to shove things up their butt
Nah, most likely some year 4 art teacher using their students drawings.
They ain't going to pay someone, use your head haha
@@AI_and_I_Lyrics people get paid for this... Regardless of who drew it someone got paid
This is certainly a lot less depressing than this year's Advent Calendars with Dan...
I don't watch that series, what's happened with the calendar this year?
To be fair it hasn't affected him as much as it probably should have done.
Every time anyone asks how he is he always says "Good."
@@teqrevisitedSo not as bad as the cheese then?
@@KatyLawsonthere’s 5 calendars. They both picked 2 to compete and both of Dan’s are absolute crap lol.
@@KatyLawson I'm also not watching it, but from a very cursory glance at the comments on those videos it looks like Dan's calendars are so shit that Ashens is winning basically every episode.
At least that rubber duck has a flared base for safety.
Well, at least a&e staff will have something to grab onto when they're pulling it out of your arse, I suppose. /l
The Christmas colouring book will always be the cherry on top of these videos
There's no way that wasn't created by an AI image bot.
I'm one hundred percent sure only a deranged maniac made those. I can attest I had several of those when I was a toddler and it's been ingrained into the back of my mind for years, plus I was born in '05 and I don't think AIs were that smart to make uncanny valley children's book at '09-10 (probably). The reality of this means some real ass person created these with their own two hands is more horrifying to comprehend rather than a souless AI
@@Sommersols I can agree with that
@@Sommersolsyeah, I'm from 2001, and my grandparents had one of these books in 2004. I'm pretty sure it wasn't made by AI. Pretty sure there was also non christmas ones, and ones for easter that were just as "well drawn"
I swear the colouring book gets more demented with each passing year.
The same guy probably draws them every year, hating life more and more as time goes on, eating a bigger bag of mushrooms or other substance before he gets to work to make his pointless sad existence slightly tollerable
@@Colt45hatchbackJesus Christ
@@nopenope7088 😂
The office supplies as the "gift" in the Christmas Crackers genuinely had me choking laughing
Surely those were marketed as office-specific crackers!? Although it was weird that there was also a heart charm in the mix ~ workplace romance, woo woo lol
Really WHF? They must have thaught that they would be purchased for office Christmas parties.
I expected a WORLDS BEST BOSS mug and a stapler in gelatin inside the crackers
I love the fact that, at 9:00, the tree and the gonks make a shape of a rat head facing left with a giant Mohawk. True Christmas magic.
Elvis Rat
Our lord and saviour, Christmas rat
More a pompadour, maybe? But that is indeed uncanny. =)
My fondest wish is to meet the artist of that colouring book and shake their hand.
Ask them where they get their mushrooms
Glad to see that the rubber duck/xmas tree has a flared base for added safety.
Came for the tat stayed for the colouring book 😂
I also came
I could literally watch you go through every page of that colouring book. I laughed harder than was wise.
The colouring book could be an episode in its self, I'd love to see the terror on every page.
Duck looks like a sex toy......apparently. 👀
It looks more like a dump to me, but I think I've been playing those newer Zelda games too long.
Quite the oversized duck plug, be careful this Christmas!
@@favoritemustard3542 😆
I love the colouring book part, it’s the best lmao, always remember those cheap pound/bargain shop books with that distinctly crap paper that repelled every colouring device you used on it, crayons NEVER stuck to it, and if they did they looked terrible, also they always had the weirdest pictures, as demonstrated in these episodes 😂 good old fashioned cheap British colouring books, man, never change
my mother has collected these ducks for years and she lays them out all over the bathroom, think she has like 8 now
👍My Grandmother did the same,had like 20 in various places all over the bathroom 👌 🦆
I think she would enjoy looking up the work of one James Veitch, noted scholar of rubber ducks…
Is she... OK? Have you had her seen by a doctor? Maybe a psychiatrist?
His interpretation of that rubber duck was much more innocent then mine 😂
Oh man the gruesome descriptions like Santa with a shotgun wound and the reindeer being a burnt skeleton just make me cry from laughter
0:00: Intro
0:26: Christmas tree rubber ducky
1:50: Fiber optic light-up Christmas tree
3:04: Light-up Rudolph snowball
4:00: Another dead Santa tea light holder
4:49: Another Elf on the Shelf lollipop
6:25: Grinch tennis balls
7:37: Gonk ornaments
9:19: Stick figure reindeer tea light holder
10:07: Christmas crackers
16:13: Weird Christmas coloring book
19:36: Outro
I don't know why, but in my experience tennis balls marketed for dogs tend to last about 2 play sessions before they've been turned into a dangerous mess of felt and rubber, whilst actual tennis balls last for years.
Maybe that's the Grinch part - they choke your dog to death?
That'll be why actual tennis balls are more expensive.
Tennis courts are hard to find anymore but I had one near me years and years ago. I would just ask random people playing if they had a couple of worn out tennis balls in their bucket for my dog and they would give a few over. Tennis balls wear out fast, which is why there are so many in a tube when you buy them. Once the elasticity wears off the balls don't bounce right anymore and they become junk for practice. @@OptimusSledge
It's also green, dogs might be able to see it in the snow but not in the grass
Excellent
@@RXBSXBEY-hh8hn Interesting timing. I made that comment 11 months ago and you reply about 10 minutes after my dog dies in real life (although not from choking on a dog tennis ball).
The annual Christmas special I look forward to more than Christmas specials every year
Has anybody ever seen the episode with Mr. Bean with one of those crackers in Christmas and he puts in other explosive powder in. That reminds me of that big cracker. Boom.😂😂😂😂😂😂🎉
The coloring books have really been gems these past couple specials. Someone needs to make sure these horrors are available forever on the internet for sure. xD
Laughing so hard at getting a singular binder clip for a present out of a giant cracker 😂😂😂😂😂
Frankly, it’s a better and certainly a more useful thing than usual.
I recently moved and I don't know how many of those I threw out while going through paperwork
If only the rubber ducky had some flashing leds it would be perfect.
Perhaps Stuart can give the duck and Christmas tree to Big Clive.
@@DarthPerkins One moment please...
I saw a light up Christmas tree Gonk at the store this year
I forget how much I want the yearly look at the colouring book until it finally arrives. We need a supercut of all the previous iterations.
I love the colouring book of Lovecraftian eldritch abominations for the Solstice.
Yes, the duck looks like a tree. That's exactly what it looks like. Nothing else.
It only looks like something else if you're depraved and spend all day online and never have sex.
It's ribbed for your pleasure. That means you'll enjoy it more, clearly.😎
Duckplug
You should have called it a Duck Plug.
My favorite part of these holiday videos has to be the coloring book reviews 😆
That coloring in book was very funny 🤣🤣
The Ducksmass Tree is the absolute top of the top in my humble opinion :D
Especially when you put it on the floor and then squat over it.
@@TommyDeonauthsArchives Best kind of toy :D :D
Does make me wonder if either Poundland buying team have a wicked sense of humour, or their factory is having a laugh or both. Either way I don't believe someone at Poundland hadn't mentioned it before it made it to the shops...
That coloring book never fails to bring me utter joy
My favorite Christmas tradition has to be the coloring book. I wait for it every year
Thank you as always for jingling our bells
stop saying weird gay shit
@@mattalan6618 Jingle Jingle
@@mattalan6618no u
Imagine the horror if Gonks got their hands on Grass masks.
All hell would break loose.
3:36 we have three light up snowmen that look to be the same basic design just without the fabric face. Had them for years, the LEDs are starting to give out
My Christmas tradition is always watching the Ashens Christmas Special ❤ 🎄
I found wrapping paper covered in little gonks as if they are a classic xmas thing
I’m so glad the Christmas colouring book is back, it wouldn’t be Christmas without some freakish drawings 😂
Was taking my turkey back tomorrow as it seemed there was not going to be an Xmas special and that means no Christmas the kids say thanks ashens as they gets a Christmas now
oh man we really need an extraashens video of more of that coloring book
Oh my gosh the tree lol
The tree lights at 2:03 were so damn anticlimactic and not at all what I was expecting 💀
When the coloring book came out, man, I hadn't laughed that hard in a while.
P.S. Where I work, we use plastic paper clips for MRI safety questionnaires!
The sentient Santa sack and the drugged up fish are quite easily the funniest things I’ve seen for months. Thanks!
Merry Fishmas
That reindeer tealight is so bad it makes the reliable reindeer look like a work of art.
I’m not sure why I laughed so hard at Gandalf the Beige 😂😂
Firmly in the pro-tree-duck camp.
The metal puzzles are haunting you Ashens, at least it doesn't keep meaning you tie everyday.
*Stuart Ashen is my Christmas.*
I really, really want to buy one of those coloring books. That is clearly an elf leg in the lion cage, that is definitely a boot on the left of the bone. And I'm pretty sure Santa took off more than his shirt in the previous picture. That "pocket" is either a weird tattoo, a parasite, a birthmark, or an old war wound. And how the hell does the elf's leg bend that way at 19:17. I need more of that in my life.
The Elf lollypop looks terrifying. He would fit right in in one of the Puppet Master movies. Puppet Master 10 Murder Elfs 😅
It sure ain't Christmas until the Ashens Christmas Special is up!
RRY CH!
MERRY CHRISTMAS
But Stuart! Are you being a reliable reindeer this Christmas?
This genuinely makes my Christmas special - thank you for the cheer - we bloody need it 👏😊
"Some people love it, some people hate it."
Understandable, Stuart. Not everyone wants a festive ducky buttplug.
Although, God only knows why..
A duck-plug
"Sick On A Rubber Duck" was my favourite 90s british punk band
my favourite part about the christmas tree duck is that if you put it in the bath its just gonna go upside down
In the 90's, there was some awesome fiber optic lamps and toys. What ever happened to that?
Awesome, so glad these are still going on!
I haven't watched an ashens video in years after watching constantly years ago then just drifting into other topics, and wow these videos are still exactly as excellent as they always have been! How comforting.
I laughed so hard at the Christmas kidney! 😂 plus the dog, the diving Santa and the giant dino giraffe!
The tennis balls are hilarious because you know they had a meeting about green things to associate with the grinch, 😂😂
Yessssss been waiting for this thankyou soooo much lovely Stuart!!! Merry Christmas 🎅 🎄
Gonks have made it to America. This year was the first I had seen them.
I'm a reliable reindeer!
And we are all grateful for such a wondrous and generous act of kindness!
Ashen I may not watch every video of yours but when the algorithm is dry, I can always count on you to make critiquing random/seasonal tat enjoyable. Thank you Mr. Ashens
I actually have the duckmas tree on my Christmas tree. The poundland i went to had them all with misprinted eyes and dents in the head or just melten / mis shapen heads so i got the derpiest one
Rudolph isn't crying, his eyes are watering from being stuck to the front of a ball as it travels at Mach 3.
Ceramic Santa has sustained multiple stellate wounds from having the barrel of the gun pressed against him when discharged.
Are any of us surprised that someone whose job consists of gluing tiny clogs onto trolls doesn;t actually give a 💩about their job?
The Dollar Tree near me has been closed for well over a month for absolutely no reason at all - so I need Ashens pound shop tat to keep me alive.
What IS going on with Dollar Tree? Mine is weirder every time we go in. The craft aisle is HUGE now, which is the only good thing. No other shops in town 😢
No idea. Mine is really a dump. Last couple times I went in they had a rat problem, and a lot of the food was expired. I had gotten some yogurt before and got sick from it, turned out it was 7 months expired.
Due to strict US food regulations and import tariffs, Dollar Tree stuff is a lot more "filtered" than stuff from UK pound shops. That's a lot less weird and goofy things and more of just overstock from other retailers sold at discounts. I have found lots of movies and books with Walmart, Barnes & Noble, and Target tags still on them.@@athenathegreatandpowerful6365
9:45 Reindeer in a gimp suit?
19:00 That's a safety railing for climbing the giraffe...
But the rubber duck is lovely!
Good ol' duck plug.
Man these always get in me in a festive mood.
Ànd me in stitches ! 🤣🤣🤣
Gandalf Grey and his Backwards Legs? Sounds like they could have been a band my dad heard when he went to Eel Pie Island back in 1963
I look forward to this every year 🎄
The duck looks like a Philadelphia Experiment style accident happened between a duck and a festive poo.
19:03 That's not a giraffe, that's the ogopogo.
Hilarious. You were very brave to taste test the mallow sucker, and the Gonks were a bit cute, at least, even with their backward feets.
I’m alone for Christmas this year, away from family for work. It’s always nice to see a wholesome video from Ashens pop up on my feed.
When I get bored I go back and revisit the previous years' specials.
It finally feels like christmas
Christmas Tree Duck, coming to an Extreme Insertions video near you soon
Having grown up with a fiberoptic lamp and spending the years picking bits of the glass lines out of my feet, watching you squeeze and crush the tree had me cringing in distress.
The bend in the fiber optic tree is really taking me out 🤣🤣
I always forget about the holiday specials until they show up in my subscriptions I love ashens 🤤
We need a whole christmas colouring book special! Those are gold mines of wierd!
Stay fresh cheese bags!
I think we've had that santa tealight and fiberoptic tree before. We've delved so deep that stu is just buying the same tat over and over 😂
Why are Christmas Trees rubbish at sewing? Because they keep dropping their needles.
thank god he's still doing these
An excellent Christmas Special
I'm working in an American dollar store this Christmas season, the stores are absolutely overrun with Gonks. They're all just called 'Gnomes' in America, We never used the word Gonk in the first place. And people love them?? We sell so damn many... My roommate is obsessed as well?? She has gnome decor for all seasons. Almost all of it from the dollar store brand I work at.
Yes ! Christmas is now complete 🎁🎄
Its a Christmas rubber duck plug!
Rubber Duck Seduction!
What the hell happened to colouring books?? I'm 39 and as a kid we had detailed, cute books; even the thick super cheap ones weren't near this level of tat.
Thank you Mr. Ashens, every year you make my Christmas brighter with these bloody videos.
Thanks for one of the only few Christmas videos I've seen out this year. Sad how the Christmas spirit is leaving people ...
Watching on Christmas Day. Instead of the kings speech. 😂
An Ashens video.. a true Christmas present 😁