"How to beat an ostritch: use a long weapon. If you are forced to defend yourself against an ostrich, avoid close quaters combat. Keep as far out of reach of it's legs as you can, use the nearest, longest possible object as a weapon. Theres a side note here - if you have a gun, aim for the ostriches main body. Keep to the ostriches side, consider yourself at the most risk when the two of you are face to face." - Charlie slimesicle March 5 2021 (theres more but I ran out of characters)
My best friend found an image where a black male was giving a white person a hickey. She titled it "How to extract kool-aid from someone's blood stream" and I lost it.
lol you've clearly never had acid Bro if you have you'd know it's not a joke. It must be respected these substances show you your worst fears and deepest desires. After that, you will be with the earth and fuse your soul with its beings. Don't joke about mother LSD again. Sheeple
@@samdrow8268 I had totally forgotten about this video or this joke, but thank you very much for the explanation. Four years later this mystery has been solved!
That's unfortunate. I once left mine in a B&Q and never found 'em. Happy ending though, since I upgraded to nanotechnology and can now see through practically anything with my X-ray vision.
Fuzzy 'Elektro Shokk' I legit did yesterday. Well I forgot to take my contacts to school when I was running late so I couldn't see because my eyes are so bad.
So last night I was a bit down. Not like depressed and suicidal, just that down state because something I was working on hit a temporary brick wall and I was at a loose end and stuff. And then I started watching your videos, not for the first time but you know, TH-cam suggested one, kind of thing. By this one I was laughing so hard, that uncontrollable laughter where you start having trouble breathing and your eyes are all wet and you can't see properly. My heartfelt thanks to the SootHouse team.
![WikiHow Images [Feat. SorrowTV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/6h1bmUCsv_A/mqdefault.jpg)
![WikiHow Images [Feat. SorrowTV]](/img/tr.png)
How to alienate yourself socially:
*_P U M P K I N_*
P u m p k i n .
p u m p k I n
Lisa Fischer pumpkin
*P•U•M•P•K•I•N*
*N I K P M U P*
0:19 has nobody noticed the cat doing the best defence tactic known to man?
I READ THAT AS DEFENSE TICTAC
@@xiezhi2894 *OFFENSE TICTAC*
The c h a c h a s l i d e
Cha Cha real smooth
I’m sorry, I won’t to like, but I don’t want to ruin the 420 likes
The mascarpone one was genius, totally using this
@Rens de Tollenaer mascarpone sounds like mask on pony
@Rens de Tollenaer its a type of cheese. Its something of a homophone for "mask on pony."
@@guyincognito5663 WHAT
@@elliot_rat well you know, racers, like in nutsy germany? The nutsist were racers and antiseminal.
@@guyincognito5663 HELLO????????? AM I HAVING A STROKE
"How to beat an ostritch:
use a long weapon. If you are forced to defend yourself against an ostrich, avoid close quaters combat. Keep as far out of reach of it's legs as you can, use the nearest, longest possible object as a weapon.
Theres a side note here - if you have a gun, aim for the ostriches main body.
Keep to the ostriches side, consider yourself at the most risk when the two of you are face to face." - Charlie slimesicle March 5 2021 (theres more but I ran out of characters)
th-cam.com/video/h9stFKuPGa8/w-d-xo.html
nice.
POV: you’re ostrich
Or more simply, RELEASE THE TIGER!
I am chuffed to bits with that profile picture.
I've been evading the giant life-sized chocolate version of myself all my life #relatable
same
guys please this is a cry for help there is a giant chocolate man screaming at me send help I beg you
I ate him a long time ago
@@Joe-pm8de Just wait until I'm hungry enough
Oh thank god, I thought it was just me
Go on Robert, show 'em your pelican!
I'M GOING *S U P E R S A I Y A N*
i was on 1:38 when i read the comment
TJ Neyland and i was on 1:43 when i read this comment
impressive
CYL [xD] **pulls down pants**
Slide to the left, slide to the right, SHIT, forgot those damn legs again.
Foxy Lmfao dude!!!!
We are the goon squad and we're coming to town... beep beep.
I'm your 1k like
Now shot shot shot
+Foxy Your profile picture is like "NOOOOOO WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING TO ME"
HOW TO ALIENATE YOURSELF SOCIALLY: Just watch some Soot House
Alright. I’ll find some ash and soot to make a soot house, then I’ll watch it.
Remington 870
404: funny joke not found
ThickyMcRicky In public
S o o t ?
Actually that does the reverse effect
I'm in tears... This video is so powerful
But really tho I've laughed so much I'm crying my whole family must think I'm insane
JoanaYoshi boy shut your sensitive ass up nvm I cried
+Chi Nice meme you got there
My stomach hurts and I’m drooling 😃
My best friend found an image where a black male was giving a white person a hickey. She titled it "How to extract kool-aid from someone's blood stream" and I lost it.
Your profile picture is giving me a stiff stick, wikihow will help me with this
LMFAO, THAT IS THE BEST
Nice unicorn pfp!
@@tydshiin5783 .......
LMAO
1:36 is someone showing his dominance using a whale screech
how to roar down your friend into submission
669 licks
how to avoid getting Schwomped by the manman
2:04 Liar, liar, plants for hire
Papa Andru lol.
It's *pants on fire* Patrick
Ben we-we were quoting Spongebob...
+Andrea #$%...I didn't see the Patrick..
Papa Andru
No
Its liar liar EAT PANT for hire
*_THE CHA-CHA IS THE ONLY WAY TO DEFEND YOURSELF_*
H3NTA1 変態 just make sure you do it smoothly
Only cha-cha can defend me.
Why is the most liked comment just a repost of something said in the video?
*_ONLY CHA-CHA SUSTAIN ME!_*
H3NTA1 変態 IT'S THE CHA CHA SLIDE
*they don’t have the geneva convention for you*
I died XD
the dog probably did too...
-China
Just happened
1:58 - How to cosplay as Pyrocynical
Yes
WikiHow is an LSD trip.
New Moisturizer Yup who needs acid when you have WikiHow.
Joel proved that.
With Syrian Butter Hamsters
And a dancing cat wearing a party hat! Nice.
ive seen you before
lol you've clearly never had acid Bro if you have you'd know it's not a joke. It must be respected these substances show you your worst fears and deepest desires. After that, you will be with the earth and fuse your soul with its beings. Don't joke about mother LSD again. Sheeple
1:31 you were actually close. It's how to assert dominance using only whale noises.
I'm serious.
How many likes until I get a free meal
why were you looking that up wendy's.
**dies**
Hot diggity dog, does these mean you Wendy's, are apart of the club? And if so, since we are now colleagues, can I have a free meal?
nah, its not. www.wikihow.com/Win-Fights-at-School
1:37 how to assert dominance using whale noises
TökaeYoung15 r/disneyvacation was here.
Seen that too
This was from cawbelly or nate tv
Real Laundry Sauce you mean noot ti
Cowbelly
2:32 how to do the birdbox challenge as a horse
@MasonReacts- Gaming the demon doesn't know that
i saw the title screen and all i could think of was *”SQUISH THAT CAT”*
squish. that. cat.
*screams like a fucking maniac*
"wtf was that"
"my new pelican call"
"10/10" "IMPRESSIVE" "WOW"
Hey, don’t mock Robert’s pelican call unless you want to face the pterodactyl!
That Mascarpone line was incredible.
Captain, please enlighten me, what the joke was.
Matt is a genius
@@peterderpanda2922 I'm not sure you still need the explanation but "mascarpone" actually sounds like "mask on pony"
@@samdrow8268 I had totally forgotten about this video or this joke, but thank you very much for the explanation. Four years later this mystery has been solved!
Show them your pelican
IM GOIN SUPER SAYAN
The Super Saiyan yell was really just a pelican call the entire time!
Out walking in the street when suddenly you hear a pelican screaming like goku
Let me show you _my_ pelican ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
ricochetpig 666th like here
this was recommended to me 3 years later and I had a heart attack when I heard Wilbur's voice thanks SootHouse.
Same
“How to alienate yourself socially”
The fact that there’s some kid in my class that says pumpkin every day that everyone hates-
That’s accurate.
>be american
>be doing the cha cha slide
>gets shot
MinnesotaVibes
Don't you hate it when they make fun of our can sizes?
God bless America's constitutions
ah yes
my favorite part of the constitution
the cha cha slide
If you put your hands down, you will be shot.
You're fucked
As an American, I can safely conclude the cha-cha slide is a sufficient self defense tactic when getting robbed by a hillbilly.
How to eat pant
1. Gain pant
2. Eat pant
3. Dispose pant
Lew1s if eat pant right no need for dispose
TheObsidianX but pant need to come somewhere after eat
ONLY PANT CAN SUSTAIN ME
There is only one step to the Eat Pant Cycle, and it's "eat pant!"
How to eat pant
1) gain pant
2) eat pant
2a) gain pant
2b) eat pant
2bi) gain pant
2bii) eat pant
2biii) dispose pant
2c) dispose pant
3) dispose pant
Shit. I couldn’t watch this video. I forgot my eyes at home :/
Same I left them in the fridge
That's unfortunate. I once left mine in a B&Q and never found 'em.
Happy ending though, since I upgraded to nanotechnology and can now see through practically anything with my X-ray vision.
Time to make a new Wikihow
Fuzzy 'Elektro Shokk' I legit did yesterday. Well I forgot to take my contacts to school when I was running late so I couldn't see because my eyes are so bad.
They something about this in WikiHow :D
1:15 “How to teach your baby Morse Code”
It’s close enough
It’s something like how to communicate with your visually impaired baby
L
Dad: L
Son: L
baby: .-.---.-.-.-.--.-.---.-.-.
dad: yes!
@@sackwil Look at the bottom of the image. That's literally what the article is called
GO ON ROBERT SHOW EM YOUR PELICAN!!!
I'M GOIN SUPER SAIYAN!!!!!
I lost it at how to turn white holy-
That guide is surely made by MJ
'How to make mascarpone', did you accidentally become a dad without realising it?
I don't get it. Is it supposed to sound like "masked pony"?
whats the point AND MEANING XD
Finally Michael Jackson secret is out.
The rumor come out, does Michael Jackson is white?
He actually had a skin problem
Yeah, I know.
Yeah it was called high exposure to bleach.
What, his secret to immortality or his pearly skin and teeth?
As a woman I will say that if a guy comes up to me and whispers “pumpkin” in my ear, I’ll be head over heels for him one hundred percent.
1:26 how to befriend Arthur
1:45 how to turn yourself into a human swastika
teach me
@@guestize a fluffy boi profile picture
Yes.
When i watch you guys its like hanging out with some friends and having a good chuckle, except you’re way funnier than all of my actual friends
0:53 How to hide Donald Trumps stolen wig in you'r house on plain sight*
Was your brain turned off when you typed you'r?
This "you'r" thing you typed was genius, I'm gonna use it instead of ur, thx u.
Sharp Hand Joe
SpringTrap 115 I NEED PANT TO SUSTAIN ME
+SomeKidNamedAJ no its yo'ure
2:41 Who knew Wilbur would become what he said he had done to 3 years later
He's just doing other things right now. Namely the Dream SMP
2:34 How to turn your horse into a Klansman
At 2:26 his voice reminds me of Salad Fingers, it also sounds like something Salad Fingers would say.
ikrr
I know right..
Hubert Cumberdale
3Spooky5me xd
I didn’t ask for cancer X-rays.
dead meme shit.
*instantly notices profile pic*
Nice profile pic.
M A S C A R P O N E
That was brilliant.
Martin Neumann i dont get the mascarpone thing
same here, but I'm holding onto that little bit of innocence I still have
Samir Rebronja mask-a-pony
yourbestpotato mask-a-pony
0:40 HAHAHAHAHA "how to turn white"
Lol
The way he says it..
@@shoopydoop4443
You could tell he was on the verge of laughter. 😄
@@varza88 that's humor
how to pull a Michael Jackson
Go on Robert, show him your pelican
*IM GOING SUPER-SAIYAN!!!!*
1:15 how to speak Morse code to your baby 😂
This was gold xd
Oof
foO
Worserockin oof
Dip
.
Worserockin how to be a robloxian
*HOW TO IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS WITH YOUR NEWLY LEARNED PELICAN CALL*
I guess the thumbnail is "how to suffocate your cat"
*they don't have the Geneva Convention for you...*
only soothouse can sustain me with the power of eat pant
a true form of art
wilbur seems like the guy to blow a nation and get killed by his own father
Ikr
Maybe even come back as a ghost
Maybe even come back to life!
My favorite is;
'How to join a conversation'
And it's some scared guy behind a wall looking at other other people talking.
I just got recommended this in 2021
Its wierd, this is the first soot house video ive seen
These need to be way longer
I'm oiled up SootHouse... take me for your wild ride.
This is honestly one of their best videos, even though it’s so short 😂😂😂
1:44 this isn't even Robert's final form yet!!
This is legendary content, sadly it won't be coming back
0:47 me petting my cat before the nuke goes off (it's our final moment together)
these videos bring me much joy.
The fact that I have watched these videos and never ONCE realized that this was Wilbur
I miss this channel
*H O W T O P E R F O R M H A N D O R I G A M I*
You laugh at the pelican call but I'm now the alpha male of my school because of it all the beta males are jealous of it
"How to alternate yourself socially"
Well so, you know... Sans isnt my favourite undertale character
*gasp*
me, a rare person who accepts that:
understandable have a nice day.
I am going to solidify your blood.
NYEH HEH HEH
I hate him
When I look at him, I remember those weird images of sans fucking with sans but with different clothes
Never thought I'd get a Soothouse video recommended to me 3 years later
I was doing alright with trying no to laugh (barely passed the pumpkin one) but then
*L E T T U C E B O O B S*
Reason:harrasment
Offensive item: Y E S
THAT'S AN ALBERTSTUFF/FLAMINGO REF
Wrong channel-
y e s
Why does everyone have that profile pic
I am chill
WikiHow is truly an endless gold mine.Also i fucking love you guys.
< Giant
< Lifesize
So last night I was a bit down. Not like depressed and suicidal, just that down state because something I was working on hit a temporary brick wall and I was at a loose end and stuff. And then I started watching your videos, not for the first time but you know, TH-cam suggested one, kind of thing. By this one I was laughing so hard, that uncontrollable laughter where you start having trouble breathing and your eyes are all wet and you can't see properly.
My heartfelt thanks to the SootHouse team.
1:04 little did they know, in the future, saying this loudly in public would become the norm
LMAO
I need a part two of this
Me: *clicks on this vid* "He kinda sounds like wilbur soot."
*reads channel name*
"oh"
Why is this in my recommended 3 years later...
TH-cam is broken lmao
You’ve probably been watching either Wilbur soot or other videos similar to this
omg the tiny pizza to your friend one make me laugh so hard XD
i remember staying in a hotel with my family fuckin crying to “how to impress your friends with your pelican call”. damn seems forever ago lol
And I remember watching this and many other SootHouse videos with my sister, really has been a long time.
this would be funnier if some of them didn't have the correct label dropped in the corner
that's what makes some of them so funny
imagine the side effect of removing boils was also turning white
*_A S S E R T Y O U R D O M I N A N C E U S I N G O N L Y W H A L E N O I S E S_*
1:52 how to practice the day that will nevwr come
"wiki how is basically *how to* do *basic* things"
me: * SCREAMS AND THROWS AN EGG *
Help me, I am in an endless cycle of watching SootHouse.
This got on my recommended and when I heard Wilbur's voice I checked the chanell
_now I'm gonna go cry_
SootHouse more like Lad house
3 years later... This got recommend to me.
@UCLdaPie3R7RrO9t-tWexaQQ I love apple pie with whipped cream
I've watched this video like 5 times and the "go on Robert show him your pelican" gets me every god damn time
Thank you! I will use these tips now, can't wait to use that pumpkin trick!
BYE
This is r/disneyvacation
Ikr?! Did they just read posts from there? That'd be pretty cheap...
Lots of their vids are just reading the top posts of different subreddits... I love how they present the content but I wish they were more original :/
1ns3rt_n4m3 Nah two of the pictures were my post pictures, they made the titles themselves
Jonesy Films and damn.dog (the website)
"channel"
How to pelican? More like how to *T H I C C N E C K*
I have been watching this video for 2 years and i just figured out what the mascarpone joke meant
What i like is that for some of them you can see what the picture was actually for, amd it makes a lot of sense.
Fucking already knew what this was gonna be like before watching.
How to eAT pANt
Boy and mum
Samson
Woah, found this vid randomly and I knew I recognized a voice, its Wilbur!
By far still the best video of SootHouse
When your favorite channel puts out 3 minute videos every couple months