@@christiantapia5321 Seriously! Knowing that other people might be feeling the same way might boost some confidence and some relief. I've been scrolling through the comment section, and it's humbling to see that so many people are dealing with this.
I once did most of these things... taught myself to believe in myself, change my selftalk, change the bar i set, and start to focus on what i am good at/ challenge the old patters of selfdoubt with successes in real life 😄 I can now thankfully say that this video no longer reflects me To anyone still seeing themselves reflected in this video, know that you can get passed it with work and small steps. You can do it 🥰
It would be of a great benefit for all of the people struggling with low self-esteem, if you could reveal at least the beginning of the path you took to become better.
@@Arcadius8 surrounding myself with people who support me. That was the biggest step. No longer staying near people who where unkind. If you have trouble making friends, than finding this online or even a therapist to talk to, to help jumpstart the focus on all you do right and your value etc. At the same time, checking and changing that selftalk, kindly to yourself. Being patient with yourself there. Those two steps where the most important ones
I just wanted to share (related to this topic) I finally got into my dream art university. I still cant believe it’s true and I MADE IT!!!! I feel like I’m finally proud of something I did! Although I hated every work I did
I've dealt with almost all 7 of these since elementary school. Middle and High School were brutal. Here in the middle aged grown up world, it still sucks so bad. Thanks for the video.
This hit hard for me, i think i relate with all the points especially the procrastination, isolation and perfectionism, i need to get better, I deserve it
I've struggled with self-esteem my whole life (which is probably mostly due to being severely bullied in elementary school from grades 3-8 and having a dad with narcissistic personality disorder) but I was also diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder when I was 16 (although both my parents say they could see signs of that when I was 4). I'm 24 now and I felt like I've gotten quite a bit better, but I do every single thing on this list 😭 just the other day at work I tried to take on a task a coworker asked me for while I was in the middle of something else and a few minutes later she said to me, "Emma, it's ok to say no."
I have found that staying away from everybody will keep the feelings of low self esteem away. I go weeks without seeing anybody at all. We can not be looked down upon if we stay away from everyone. As for friends, they are just low level enemies. I have no friends. I do not even know anybody. I do not even have acquaintances. If humanity threw us out and mistreated us, we can stand completely on our own. They hate when someone is self-reliant and does not depend on the rest of the herd. Thus, they hate me.
@@indridcold8433 maybe people that are around you right now hate you, but it can't be that the whole world hate you, people can do nice things that make you feel good
For most of my teenage years, I struggled with self-esteem. And the solution was really simple, having good self-confidence has two aspects, Firstly, You need to do things there intrust you. If you have low self-esteem or lack confidence in yourself, you're probably still young, most of your life has revolved around school and family and you don't have much experience with the great of the world. Which is absolutely fine. Almost everyone has the same story, including myself! Just go out there and do things that you find enjoyable. Just don't do them by yourself find other people who like the same things. Soon enough you'll find yourself becoming part of a community or even a tribe. This brings a sense of belonging or internal tranquillity which I can't quite really explain. You gotta feel it to understand it. Secondly, You need to be a good storyteller. Us humans make sense of the world through stories This is one of those things that you can't really teach anyone and you just have to figure it out as you go. Remember people will forget your name, they'll forget your face but never forget how you made them feel. So always keeping a light-hearted and positive tone in your conversations is usually a good idea. Especially when meeting new people.
Thanks you very much. That belonging feeling is what most of us desire. I had the opportunity to feel like that last year and I miss that moment a lot. I just think is time for me to find things I really enjoy doing and sharing with others that are same.
Beautiful statement, and it depends on the people you meet. There's people who look at light hearted and positive people as a tool to be used. Where I'm from being light-hearted and positive is a way to be taken advantage of. That's why I stay to myself and hopefully meet like minded people on my way to and from work.
Me too...though I became much more aware of it as I got older. It seriously affects my life, particularly when I work with younger people with much more confidence...it totally screws with my concentration
My experience with these: 1. procrastination - yes, i'm guilty but always get things done eventually 2. passivity - yes, big time 3. negative self-talk - yes, tho i find it impossible to improve at something if i'm satisfied with how i'm already doing 4. isolation - yes, tho i use it only to recharge and regain self-confidence after something bad happens 5. people pleasing - no, i don't really do this anymore but some people can't understand that unfortunately 6. perfectionism - yes, as i feel that if it's worth doing, it's worth doing well. 7. accepting compliments - yes, as i get like two of them in a year for the things i've put the least effort into
So much of self esteem comes from how we were nurtured as children. Knowing how to reparenting yourself is so powerful in taking control of your healing and providing for the needs you didn’t have met.
I would like to thank everybody involved with this channel, without them I never would have have reached out and got professional help. With a diagnosis of disorganized schizophrenia, schizoid, and ADHD, my medication of methylphenid has actually allowed me the concept of self care and worth, thank you all from the very core of my being. May Laima grant you all her greatest blessings. Albeit, a history of constant parental abuse, may constitute to most of these too
I got scared for a moment, everything that you mentioned in the video has been happening to since i was 8, and it has grown bigger and bigger. I thought it was my personality, but turns out that my self esteem is so deep down and i just noticed it
Why does it say there's a reply here but there isn't? If it's been deleted, the notification part just under the comment it answers to, should not be there
I struggle with all of these, but am proud to say that I'm getting better at dealing with them 🎉 when I feel low these signs get much more intense and difficult, but I feel more capable of dealing with them
Mind sharing some tips? I've been struggling with accepting compliments these days. Like everytime someone conpliment me, I always go like "No no not really. I didn't do much. [Insert person name] can do a lot better." which personally, it feels like I downplay the speaker's intent. Not to mention I always forget and go back to this habit everytime I'm in a situation.
After being in a very abusive relationship and going through some horrific trauma, I definitely relate to everything stated here. I can say I'm safe now. Working to heal all that crap, so I don't feel this way forever. I love your channel and content. I appreciate you 💕
I saw when this video was posted and… I procrastinated to watch it. I procrastinated because I knew it was going to hit really close to home, and it did. I’ve struggled with everything listed here and over the years I’m proud to say that I’ve managed to get to a healthier place! It’s a work in progress though… especially with procrastination, isolation, and perfectionism. If you’re working through these things too, I feel for you and I just know you can improve your self esteem 🙂
Im experiencing all the 7 signs as long as i can remember!!! I really dont know how to deal with it. It is really affecting my life in every single aspects
I’m honestly shocked. I immediately wanted to disagree that these things were true, but realized that didn’t serve me. Realizing I do in fact have low self esteem actually makes so much sense in the way I experience life. Can you do one on how to increase self esteem?
It may not be possible; but finding happiness is better than trying to fix something that's not really a flaw. Look at the bright side: you're considerate, carrying, thoughtful, smart, and good at things you are good at, even if you don't see it
@Erikilla, pay attention to your "self talk" and stop it when it is critical. Most peoples' "self talk" is not them talking, it is a parent, teacher, authority figure, etc. Stop negative "self talk" and replace it with kind and loving self talk. Also find people who treat you nicely and don't continually criticize you. Be kind to yourself and others. Blessings.
If you were bullied pretty much your entire childhood, is it even possible to get rid of your self-esteem issues eventually? I read so many books about it and it got little better, I feel. I hate it. I can't even meet an online friend in person I've been texting to since three years. I'd act too insecure. It would be nothing but awkward ...
I was bullied my whole childhood and then I met a narssist which made it worse I managed to go to college and do chef's course which sorted me out, but the head chef abused me and I was back to square 1. Now I feel like you and don't know how to get out of it, sorry that you're feeling that way too😘🫤xx
You can get out of it. While I still have a good amount of symptoms shown in the video, I now try to tackle things head on ... It took me roughly 5 years of therapy to get there, but eventually I did. Trying to think of the options and their effect in the long run is what I do to bypass that now - so if I'm not sure whether to contact someone, I start thinking what the worst case would be ... And usually that is it being awkward and validating what my previous thoughts were. However, not doing anything at all will ultimately also validate those thoughts which will just make it harder the next time (the thought of the worst case scenario will as well and be more present, but the outcome is the same) I know just reading this isn't gonna solve anything in its own, but there are ways ... They all just require a looot of courage
idk man i was bullied all my younger years and people treat me way different now but it doesn’t help the nagging voices are still there. i’m just growing to accept that this may just be a part of me now and just work through those moments when they come up instead of trying to make them all go away
Hi, I’ve been bullied and abused since childhood. All my life, I’ve been abused. And it still even happens now tbh. It kind of sucks. It is exhausting to feel the self hate, and it is painful. You feel like you’re in a room made of bricks with no way out. It’s also lonely. You may even feel guilty finding moments to celebrate in achievements so you self sabotage. Here’s the thing though, I’m going to cognitive and behavioral therapy. And since then, I’ve learned to love myself a little more and then that ends up increasing. There are moments I go back to self hating, but I have now been able to counter it. I can’t give advice on my process because it’s different for everybody. It’s taking me years to accomplish and it felt like it took forever to get where I am now. I’m proud of myself, but the journey was tough and emotional. It is worth it, though. And it is possible to learn self love through trauma therapy and help. Reading books alone is not going to help, but it is a start. There are many resources out there and solutions. I’m nowhere near perfect with the self love part, but it’s a start. I learned to practice boosting myself up even if I don’t believe it because over time, you’ll actually begin to believe it if you say it enough. I also discovered which self compliments I like and don’t like. I am now a brave, strong, and striving individual who refuses to give up. I hope the best for you. And remember these: don’t listen to that toxic “just be happy” positive you see a lot, don’t compare yourself to others because everybody’s journey is different, don’t feel ashamed if you feel behind because that’s okay and everybody’s different, don’t feel bad if you relapse here and there no matter how often as it is not a linear path, and you only fail if you don’t try.
Whoever is reading this, I pray that whatever you’re growing through gets better and whatever you’re battling with makes your situation better as you’re continuing to be a better person each day. I have faith that you’ll turn out great as your circumstances will change. Have a fantastic day! You got this! 🤗💪🏼❤️
I don't comment on TH-cam videos very often, but I just wanted to thank you guys for everything that you do. Your content has helped me a lot in my mental health journey :')
Well all this sounds like me A LOT! I always feel like other people are always cooler, more interesting, better than me. Sometimes I see myself as a great person, but mostly I feel inferior. It honestly makes me cry sometimes. I just don't know if I'll ever be able to live the life I want to.
I can literally relate in all of these points, i have high-functioning autism and i have low self-esteem also because i feel i've been too cuddled because of my disorder and i feel i've never struggled and achieved anything.
I worry I am high functioning autistic. I was raised by an undiagnosed bi-polar single parent, who I believe played a decent part in setting the bar of my self-esteem.
I just absolutely LOVE the narrator's voice! So smooth and soothing. This channel offers good content, the videos are not too long so I don't loose interest! I have anxiety and PTSD, I find this channel so incredibly helpful and this woman's voice is devine! Thank you! ❤️🥰❤️
I've always been aware of my low self esteem but never related with this video this accurately and because of that, its been affecting my whole life, pretty sure the same as everyone else here.
I can see myself in most of the points. I got over the one or other, but everyone else seems to see much more in me than I do even if I always reached anything that was necessary or that I wanted. It gets better over the years but I can see how much easier it could be with more confidence in yourself - try to tell yourself that you can do it and that you can afford being seen by others. If someone makes a compliment, just say "thank you" and nothing else. At least that's what helps me.
Another problem that is common but they didn't mention is constantly apologizing even if it doesn't matter. It's something that I used to do so much that my friends lovingly joke with me that I'm not allowed to say sorry anymore 😅
When you're an artist, there's always a hint of perfectionism in all we do. I hope I don't confuse that with low self-esteem. We know when to stop. Painting's done!
As well as a sort of need to be validated. However in the case of art it craves an audience doesn't it? It's kinda natural to attempt to share beauty with others. You always find a way to make it better through your eyes.
@@Panzerfaust-ux8xb Don't forget the sheer thrill of creating and its therapeutic value while creating. Those motives may override any need for validation since the value comes from within. Yes?
@@triconcert Yep you're right! Personally I find it a source of meditation as well as something to remove boredom. Combine it with some good music and you'd feel as glorious as shaping the universe itself! (personally I like pencil drawing mostly)
All of them are true and relatable. I was struggling since middle school due to bullying, family issues, my mental health issues and toxic surroundings. Until now, I tried my best to limit myself with them, defend myself even though seems impossible, try to make contact with new people (if I get lucky, maybe become friends/soulmates?) and the most important, I'll try to improve myself to be much better person. Reduce the perfectionism, people pleasing and procrastination. Also try to spend time with nature, pets or any hobbies. No more negative self-talk which impact my mental health, hurt my feelings and deteriorated my motivation. Passivity.. It will take time and patience to get what I want but never mind. That's worth it. About compliments.. I think I need time to accept it cuz everytime people praise me, I deny it immediately and bring me feel overwhelmed.
Yes, I struggle with seeing my self-worth. It sucks. Trying to balance confidence and humility is tough. It’s like I’m sabotaging myself by assuming that people will negatively judge me regardless of what I do. I should add that I can relate to a lot of the things listed in this video.
Hope you're feeling better and know you're not going through this alone. I notice I'm a people pleaser/think lowly of myself and compare alot, and I think it's time for me to change. We're all in it together. Stay strong!
1) procrastination 2) negative self talk-definitely describes me! 3) isolation-I feel isolated at times when I’m in public 4) people pleasing 5) perfectionism 6) being unable to accept compliments!
Unfortunately, I have all. It’s interesting though that so far my BEST HELP to stop the negative self-talk REQUIRES isolation. Because the only way for me to not have the negative parts of me thrown back in my face is for no one to have to SEE them.
Great video! The first five definitely describe how I live, the last two--I gave up on trying to be perfect a long time ago and I finally, forced myself to accept compliments. At first it was hard, I would just say thank you, but inside I didn't really believe what the person said was true. But now, I actually sincerely accept compliments and actually believe them. It was a process, but I'm finally able to do it. Love your videos. I think I am going to take this list to my next therapy appt. We've already been talking about a lot of this stuff, but it will facilitate some more good conversations with her. Thank you!!
- We live in a world where the threats that we face are probabilistic: Terrorists might attack. The economy might nose dive, right? These are 'probabilistic dangers.' The problem is, the brain's designed not to turn off the fear response until a danger is gone completely. But probabilistic dangers never are gone completely so we tend to be a little more hyperreactive. So how do you tune up the nervous system rather than having to reach for psychopharmaceuticals? I often define 'peak performance' as getting our biology to work for us rather than against us. What I'm really talking about are the systems underneath what we call motivation, learning, creativity, and flow. 'Flow' is an optimized state of consciousness where we feel our best and we perform our best. The research says there are three tools you can reach for: Gratitude has really precise impacts on the brain and anxiety. I like to write down 10 things that I'm grateful for and I write down each one three times. Gratitude is literally you're just pointing out to the brain things that have already happened that are good. And it tilts this ratio so we're taking in a lot less negative stuff. This, by the way, lets more novel stuff come through. Gratitude can work as a 'flow trigger' that way. The second one is mindfulness- 11 minutes a day of mindfulness practice. You know, follow your breath, focus meditation basically, is enough to really calm down your nervous system, make you less emotional-reactive. Your third option is exercise- 20 to 40 minutes worth of exercise is enough. And if you're exercising for mental hygiene, right, for cognition, and I wanna get into flow, you wanna exercise until basically the voice in your head gets really quiet and your lungs open up. Both things happen because there's a global release of nitric oxide, it's a gaseous, signaling molecule that's sort of everywhere in the body. One of the things it does is it flushes stress hormones out of your system. It'll reset the nervous system sort of back to baseline, back to zero. When I talk about peak performance, we always emphasize 'cognitive literacy': understanding what's going on in the brain and the body when we're performing at our very best. Now this is difficult in the modern world because most of us tend to be a little hyperanxious. Daily problems that we all deal with- anxiety, depression, right? We now know, for example, that a 20-minute walk in the woods will outperform most antidepressants on the market. If you take a walk in a part of nature where you haven't been before, you're not only gonna get serotonin, that calming chemical, you're gonna get the dopamine from novelty and complexity and unpredictability. So you're gonna get some feel good, happy juice and some calm. And these are great tools to be able to reach for in times of stress rather than having to reach for psychopharmaceuticals. On a certain level, we have a drug store in our brain, the neurochemicals that show up in flow: so dopamine, norepinephrine, anandamide, endorphins, and serotonin. If you were to try to cocktail the street drug version of that, right, you're trying to blend like heroin and speed and coke and acid and weed- and point is, you can't do it. It turns out the brain can cocktail all of 'em at once, which is why people will prefer flow to almost any experience on Earth. It's our favorite experience. It's the most addictive experience on Earth. Why? 'Cause it cocktails five or six of the largest pleasure drugs the brain can produce. We're all capable of so much more than we know. That is a commonality across the board. That's the largest lesson that 30 years in studying peak performance has taught me. And one of the big reasons is we're all hardwired for flow, and flow is a massive amplification of what's possible for ourselves.
Me relating to all the facts - "Shit!!! I gotta think positive and have some self esteem, I'm sabotaging my own self by saying negative things about my own self,I'm procastina and blaming the circumstances for my failure, That's wrong." Thank you so much for the video,I've learned a lesson.
Okay I gotta admit I never wanted to admit but I really have a low self-esteem which is effecting my daily life and making me feel bad about myself I’ve been avoiding everything and I’m burnt out I really need to start practicing self positive talk and i should work on my confidence perfectionism is a bad thing we’re humans we make mistakes if we want to improve we should keep trying we should keep pushing ourselves hard and hard to get better i used to be confident about myself but after I grew up I lost it which is a bad thing thank you so much for making this video hopefully i will be able to regain back my confidence
It is such hard work being a relative of someone with low self esteem. All encouragement seems to be ignored, even though you really care about the person and want them to be happy. I feel powerless to help them as they just constantly refuse any encouragement or support, always refusing to go out despite constantly offering them a door to door taxi and paying for it, just to see them happy. I think the only thing they can do is help themselves. I do love them.
Yep, I definitely fall under the procrastination, negative self-talk, Isolation, and People Pleasing categories.I kept beating myself up for constantly making mistakes, always feeling like an incompetent burden that always gets in the way of others, and not being "where I'm supposed to be by now" in recent years. Been trying to combat that lately, but it's not been easy.
This just describes the entirety of myself. Just thinking about how i did all those and here i thought im more confident. I barely scratched the surface.
I think low self esteem has struck me hard during my first (and so far only) year of teaching this past school year. But of everything mentioned in this video, I think the people-pleasing side of me got the best of me, especially with students, parents, a particular teacher from a different campus in the same district, and administration.
I’m with you guys!!!! Have any of you just accept it and just try to make the best of things or do you struggle to try to not be this person? I HATE it!!! 😩🥺
I can see a lot of that in myself and believe my biggest fault is procrastinating. The isolation one I'd blame on circumstance though due to lack of time and personally preferring to be alone more often. I like hanging with friends but anxiety kicks in if we just sit around and talk eventually leading to me just being on my phone most of the time and not really hanging. Always good to have an activity like games for that situation but not everyone wants to do the same things
“have you been ignoring your friends’ calls or invitations lately?” nah i don’t have irl friends that i make plans with other than that, ever since i was a young teen, my self-esteem has always been low. but nowadays it’s a bit higher :)
I have long periods of low self-esteem and long periods of high self-esteem and it's hard for me to find equilibrium. In this moment I'm really happy with myself but I can relate with everything in the video because it let me remember months of school anxious and problems.
I'm by myself all the time....(unless I'm hanging with my son) Girls never say what it is.. yall hit the wrong spot on purpose.. I believebut it's a real problem, . I'm becoming a new person...so I'm figuring this out.
Man, I can relate to low self-esteem procrastination and passivity and self negativity talk, I find trying to balance between my career and having fun with friends and I thank you for the video
Isolation is a big thing for myself, but I don't feel I can do much about it. After living in Phoenix for 20 years, I moved to a small town area. I tried a lot of groups, yet all but of them have fallen through or had bad effects that were so strong that I had to quit. That's left with occasionally taking myself out to lunch and doing one casual group every other week. Besides that, I'm stuck at home with my elderly parents. Another problem is I have to isolate myself at home because I have hyperacusis (extreme sound sensitivity) whereas my father has bad hearing loss and is in denial about his hearing problems. He frequently does loud noises that surprise me and make me stop breathing and have to get away from him, but he tries to argue that he was being quiet and apologises just for the sake of it without any meaning.
Like you could read my mind... How else do I improve...? Having low self-esteem is taking a toll on my life... Please make more videos on curing self-esteem... Thank you so much... 😊😊❤
As a person with low self-esteem, depression, anxiety and overthinking I can say that every point is my daily life. But I can handle it so far. I'm okay
I have been isolated for 4 years and still am now, I worry too much about the world that I overthink every situation I'm in. This video wraps up almost everything about me 🤧
So sorry to hear, At least you know have insight, you are not your thoughts you are just observer them so you can choose. This is your gift as a human, practise and respond to in full the thoughts that are coming up! I hope this helps
I manage to fit into all of these habits, yet I've never considered them all to fall under having low self-esteem (though I've also never considered all of these points holistically). Despite having ideas and the tools to make things, I don't commit to starting anything properly, so I've just got dozens of voice memos and random files of audio and clips of music and I've just procrastinated constantly. Same idea for passivity - I'll take opportunities but only if they're handed to me simply. I keep to myself in my room most days, I always try to please others, I very rarely ever settle for something being less than perfect, I don't take compliments well most times - so yeah, these fit me fairly well. While negative self-talk has been a large part of me before, I think I'm improving there, and I'm trying to improve myself in all these other aspects too. Maybe, now that I've seen these traits as all coming under the umbrella of low self-esteem, I can try to fix them and adapt myself to improve. Thanks for the realisation, Psych2Go.
So informative! I know my self esteem was low, and I always thought it was me not having certain qualities or materialistic things. But now I understand the root cause. Thanks ❤️
Yes I do. I people please a lot and for the last 3 weeks I have overwhelmed myself because of it. I also am a teacher and I always find myself regretting what I have said during the day or through the week. At the end of every day I always want to hide in my bedroom instead of playing cards with my family which we do basically 5 times a week. It is hard and when my dad or brother tells me they are proud I always look down and feel like I shouldn't be praised because it took me almost 7 years to get through college. I'm really trying to find the steps I need to raise my confidence over time to better my mental image of myself. This video did help me identify things I need to work on so thanks a lot!.❤
Those who have low self esteem are the ones who you can see judging others. I know a lot of them. 😁 BTW, thank you for this Ma'am, this is so educational! 🙂
Perfectionism is what caused me to stop drawing almost entirely. Instead of working on things that need improving, I see those things as lack of skill and just get more depressed at not being able to draw what I envision. Dang it.
For everyone out there with self esteem issues, hang in there, because you DO COUNT, and you DO MATTER! Work a little every day on loving yourself more. You’ve made it through ALL of the worst days you’ve had so far, and that’s SOMETHING! Even on the days you think you’re a mess, you hang in there. Self esteem takes PRACTICE! ❤️
Allright, I already knew I have low self esteem, and I wanted to see how many of these things I relate to, and add my own notes and stuff on the topic. Procrastination - I do this all the time, TH-cam videos are my go-to for this sort of thing, but I've been trying to do so less by working on random little projects on my laptop and figuring out a schedule for the day and sticking to it no matter what, but I'm procrastinating on writing out the schedule thing... Passivity - Used to a lot, but now I'm slowly getting out of that by setting 2 main goals: loose weight and wear clothes I actually want to wear, and loosing weight will help with the clothes I want because most styles I'm into are very form-fitting and I know I'll look really weird if I try to wear them now. Negative Self Talk - All the bloody time and I hate it! Can range from me thinking I'm plain no good and suck at everything to me believing everyone hates me because of random small dumb things I did in the past. It's absolutely ridiculous. Isolation - Yes, but I don't believe (in my case at least) It's due to low self esteem, at least not fully. I'm terrified to go anywhere on my own because I'm scared I'll get lost. and if I get lost that means I'd have to ask for directions, and I'm terrified of people because I've had "stranger danger" drilled into my brain as a child and that's made me paranoid to simply wave to someone I don't know. Not only that I have a terrible sense of direction and cant figure out directions from someone just telling me them. My "stranger danger" fear also limited what I did on the internet for ages because I thought everyone was hackers and pedos, or hacker pedos. But I'm trying to participate in communities, mainly via yt comments sections. People Pleasing - Yes but I don't do it because I seek attention or validation, I genuinely get extremely happy when I can help someone with something. i like helping because helping is good. i get really sad when i cant help and then start thinking im no good. then i say sorry because i can't help them and im no good. then it becomes a big no good loop. Perfectionism - While I personally wouldn't call it that because I hate the word perfect and in my opinion, that thing doesn't exist, I do put large amounts of pressure to be really good at something and if someone else is better at that thing than I am, I instantly devalue myself and believe my skills aren't worth anything because their better. I also tend to compare myself to others and rather than thinking, "Oh, I can learn from them." It's instantly, "I'm shit because their better than me and I'll never be that good." Being Unable To Accept Compliments - Sort of? Sometimes I get really giddy and unnaturally happy when someone compliments me, and other times I let out a quiet "yeah" while trying to process the words said to me. I suppose that depends on my mindset at the time. Sorry the comment is so long but I hope it was at least a bit interesting to read. If you did read it all, thanks and your clawsome for reading my weird little ranty venty thingy.
Wow I’ve really come a long way from where I used to be… I can say I’m still battling with procrastination on many things from time to time but overall my self esteem has drastically improved
Something that always helps me whenever I’m feeling depressed or bad about myself is music, specifically spiritual music. I’m a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and I find that the song “Devine” always helps me find my self worth. It’s a great song and I encourage anyone who is feeling bad about themselves to listen to this song and know that you are amazing. You are perfect just the way you are.
As an extremely insecure and a person with low self-esteem,I totally agree with all the points mentioned throughout the video.Hoping for the best in future!💜
It’s amazing that’s you’re honest with yourself and have self-awareness and that’s exactly what you need to start the journey of self-love. Good luck on your journey 💗💗💗
@@wj1731 You are totally correct!I still feel that I need to be more honest and gentle with myself and not just love but also care for myself.Self awareness is undoubtedly the first step to self-love 💜Thanks for wishing me good luck! 💕💕💕
Personally, if the me of 3 or 4 months ago had seen the video, I would surely identify with most of the things said, for years I have had low self-esteem, I have always had a hard time communicating with others and several problems caused by my relationship with my family, but over time I have learned to improve and being with my friends has encouraged me to do more things, it has helped me a lot, although I would not say that now I feel good about myself, but I would not say that I feel bad about myself either Now I would just say I'm somewhere in the middle, I'm just ok.
Surprisingly, I somewhat relate to all of these, not really into the second one. But, 4:41? - This is one of my biggest struggles. I appreciate all those who say positive things about me, it's just.. where am I even going to start? I can't even explain myself properly. Accepting compliments makes my heart warm, I'm just afraid for those who heard the compliment with me. They might get insecure, or they might even look down at themselves. At the same time, because of my perfectionism, I don't really notice that I actually make people proud, or impressed, since I like everything, to work on how I want it to be.
This hits home for quite a few things, I guess. To be honest, I struggle with what is real about my well-being and what might be "made up for attention or self-pitty", as my mom called it. So who knows, right? Maybe all of my struggles are normal and common and I'm just not willing to accept that. What about our cognitive and emotional understanding is real afterall, right? I'm gonna see myself out. Sorry.
I, like many of you can relate to most or all of these. While it’s painful to admit, the validation that this video and and your comments provide makes me feel much less like an outcast. Thank you.
I think this situation can have a silver lining when not taken to extreme levels of self deprecation. Every one of those avoidant social features mentioned here could be an act of self care, especially when social environments occasionally get toxic. I have found procrastination and lack of resolve to be the makings of a wondrous bleve of the self, if it involves creative/contemplative behaviour , a goal within itself. Goals are over-rated 😏😋
OMG Psych2go! I'm so shocked at how accurate this is! This is literally me... I do all of things u guys have mentioned on the list! I'm not a very confident person either. Thank you for making me self-aware! I'll try to improve myself henceforth. Loads of love PS: LOVE your channel... keep up the good work!
This describes my whole existence 🙃💯
Same... lol
@@FelineAdrenaline I'm glad that I'm not alone 🥺🙏🏻
Same 🥲
@@christiantapia5321 Seriously! Knowing that other people might be feeling the same way might boost some confidence and some relief. I've been scrolling through the comment section, and it's humbling to see that so many people are dealing with this.
Many people can probably relate..
I procrastinate, I am passive and I am a perfectionist. In my childhood and adolescence, I had the people pleasing habit and isolated myself often.
This is exactly myself 😔
How about now? Do you feel you still do all those things?
This was me. I feel awful now
TF how did you comment a day before
@@Psych2go I'm no longer a perfectionist or passive, and I don't procrastinate as often.
I once did most of these things... taught myself to believe in myself, change my selftalk, change the bar i set, and start to focus on what i am good at/ challenge the old patters of selfdoubt with successes in real life 😄
I can now thankfully say that this video no longer reflects me
To anyone still seeing themselves reflected in this video, know that you can get passed it with work and small steps.
You can do it 🥰
Thanks so much!! Much needed commemt!!
Thanks for the inspiration...
Quick question, what was the first thing you did, on the road to recovery? And how did you achieve it? Thanks
Thank you! 😃
It would be of a great benefit for all of the people struggling with low self-esteem, if you could reveal at least the beginning of the path you took to become better.
@@Arcadius8 surrounding myself with people who support me.
That was the biggest step. No longer staying near people who where unkind.
If you have trouble making friends, than finding this online or even a therapist to talk to, to help jumpstart the focus on all you do right and your value etc.
At the same time, checking and changing that selftalk, kindly to yourself. Being patient with yourself there.
Those two steps where the most important ones
It’s a bit upsetting that I can relate to all of this.
I can kinda relate. I'm just as disturbed.
I’m the same way, at least we’re in this together, it’s not forever though
Same, I also relate to all of it
Bruce it don't mean we're disturbed lol
😩😩you ain't lying
I just wanted to share (related to this topic) I finally got into my dream art university. I still cant believe it’s true and I MADE IT!!!! I feel like I’m finally proud of something I did! Although I hated every work I did
Hey! And that's perfectly okay as long as you don't end up hating the thing you love most.
Congratulations 🎉👏😄
Congrats! 🎊🎉
Congrats!!!!🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳
Congratulations! I'm happy for you(◍•ᴗ•◍)❤
7 habits of people with LOW-SELF ESTEEM:
1.Procrastination 0:33
2.Passivity 1:12
3.Negative Self Talk 2:03
4.Isolation 2:44
5.People Pleasing 3:27
6.Perfectionism 4:05
7.Being unable to accept compliments 4:41
Ty.
Solid 7/7 for me...🎉
Thank you 😊
All except the last one
These pshyc2go vids are way to accurate for me some days 😬😬
I'm 61 and am just now consciously working on healing my self-esteem.
I can relate...it's a constant effort at 58
I've dealt with almost all 7 of these since elementary school. Middle and High School were brutal. Here in the middle aged grown up world, it still sucks so bad. Thanks for the video.
💕
have you tried therapy? it might help heal your inner child. also if you need to talk i'm here
@@userm180 I've been in therapy with meds for 25 years (My entire adult life).
For me too the same life experience....and then at 61 add being poor with no money and a dead end job....life can really stink!!!!
@@keithbrown8814 I'm right there with you brother.
This hit hard for me, i think i relate with all the points especially the procrastination, isolation and perfectionism, i need to get better, I deserve it
💕
Same here
Same here...
Me too!
same
I've struggled with self-esteem my whole life (which is probably mostly due to being severely bullied in elementary school from grades 3-8 and having a dad with narcissistic personality disorder) but I was also diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder when I was 16 (although both my parents say they could see signs of that when I was 4). I'm 24 now and I felt like I've gotten quite a bit better, but I do every single thing on this list 😭 just the other day at work I tried to take on a task a coworker asked me for while I was in the middle of something else and a few minutes later she said to me, "Emma, it's ok to say no."
💕
im sorry that happened to you. i hope you're ok and if u need to talk im here
Please check to make sure you do not have Asperger Syndrome or High functioning autism. - Many people who have your symptoms have these problems.
I have found that staying away from everybody will keep the feelings of low self esteem away. I go weeks without seeing anybody at all. We can not be looked down upon if we stay away from everyone. As for friends, they are just low level enemies. I have no friends. I do not even know anybody. I do not even have acquaintances. If humanity threw us out and mistreated us, we can stand completely on our own. They hate when someone is self-reliant and does not depend on the rest of the herd. Thus, they hate me.
@@indridcold8433 maybe people that are around you right now hate you, but it can't be that the whole world hate you, people can do nice things that make you feel good
For most of my teenage years, I struggled with self-esteem. And the solution was really simple, having good self-confidence has two aspects,
Firstly, You need to do things there intrust you.
If you have low self-esteem or lack confidence in yourself, you're probably still young, most of your life has revolved around school and family and you don't have much experience with the great of the world. Which is absolutely fine. Almost everyone has the same story, including myself!
Just go out there and do things that you find enjoyable. Just don't do them by yourself find other people
who like the same things. Soon enough you'll find yourself becoming part of a community or even a tribe.
This brings a sense of belonging or internal tranquillity which I can't quite really explain. You gotta feel it to understand it.
Secondly, You need to be a good storyteller.
Us humans make sense of the world through stories This is one of those things that you can't really teach anyone and you just have to figure it out as you go. Remember people will forget your name, they'll forget your face but never forget how you made them feel. So always keeping a light-hearted and positive tone in your conversations is usually a good idea. Especially when meeting new people.
Thanks you very much. That belonging feeling is what most of us desire. I had the opportunity to feel like that last year and I miss that moment a lot. I just think is time for me to find things I really enjoy doing and sharing with others that are same.
i needed to read this
thank you for this :)
Well said Thank you
Beautiful statement, and it depends on the people you meet. There's people who look at light hearted and positive people as a tool to be used. Where I'm from being light-hearted and positive is a way to be taken advantage of. That's why I stay to myself and hopefully meet like minded people on my way to and from work.
Yup. I was wondering what was going on with me. This reminded me what is at the core of my issues. Something I've been struggling with my whole life.
Me too...though I became much more aware of it as I got older. It seriously affects my life, particularly when I work with younger people with much more confidence...it totally screws with my concentration
@@GhostKnightNo1 Same
My experience with these:
1. procrastination - yes, i'm guilty but always get things done eventually
2. passivity - yes, big time
3. negative self-talk - yes, tho i find it impossible to improve at something if i'm satisfied with how i'm already doing
4. isolation - yes, tho i use it only to recharge and regain self-confidence after something bad happens
5. people pleasing - no, i don't really do this anymore but some people can't understand that unfortunately
6. perfectionism - yes, as i feel that if it's worth doing, it's worth doing well.
7. accepting compliments - yes, as i get like two of them in a year for the things i've put the least effort into
bro same... but i can't say i have low self esteem really(??) it just kinda happens sometimes lol
Right. She oversimplified people life experiences. Self esteem doesn’t look the same on everyone.
Same about accenting compliments. I rarely get them about things that I put least efforts in
So much of self esteem comes from how we were nurtured as children. Knowing how to reparenting yourself is so powerful in taking control of your healing and providing for the needs you didn’t have met.
1. Procrastination 0:32
2. Passivity 1:12
3. Negative self talk 2:02
4. Isolation 2:45
5. People pleasing 3:26
6. Perfectionism 4:05
7. Being unable to Accept compliments 4:40
Correct me if there's any Typo!
There is a typo at 5th point. It should be 'Pleasing'.
Otherwise it was superb. Thanks!
@@WatchingTheTimes oh okay, thanks for Correcting me! ^^ and you're welcome :)
"Correct me if* there is any Typo"
You're welcome XD
@@randomisedbeing I didn't know how that happened but thanks lmao XD
I would like to thank everybody involved with this channel, without them I never would have have reached out and got professional help. With a diagnosis of disorganized schizophrenia, schizoid, and ADHD, my medication of methylphenid has actually allowed me the concept of self care and worth, thank you all from the very core of my being. May Laima grant you all her greatest blessings.
Albeit, a history of constant parental abuse, may constitute to most of these too
Blessings! Wish you the best ❤️🙌🏼
I got scared for a moment, everything that you mentioned in the video has been happening to since i was 8, and it has grown bigger and bigger.
I thought it was my personality, but turns out that
my self esteem is so deep down and i just noticed it
ckcwu
Why does it say there's a reply here but there isn't? If it's been deleted, the notification part just under the comment it answers to, should not be there
The moment they mentioned procrastination first, I felt like I got stabbed in the heart.
I struggle with all of these, but am proud to say that I'm getting better at dealing with them 🎉 when I feel low these signs get much more intense and difficult, but I feel more capable of dealing with them
th-cam.com/video/g1bB-5ktDcM/w-d-xo.html
This is exactly what I'm going through; they all resonated. 😞
Everything you've said has been me my whole life up until now and it's an overwhelming cycle.
I used to do all of these things but I’m proud to say I’m no longer dealing with most of them (except procrastinating, still working on that 😅)
Mind sharing some tips? I've been struggling with accepting compliments these days. Like everytime someone conpliment me, I always go like "No no not really. I didn't do much. [Insert person name] can do a lot better." which personally, it feels like I downplay the speaker's intent. Not to mention I always forget and go back to this habit everytime I'm in a situation.
After being in a very abusive relationship and going through some horrific trauma, I definitely relate to everything stated here. I can say I'm safe now. Working to heal all that crap, so I don't feel this way forever.
I love your channel and content. I appreciate you 💕
Me too, but I am trying, learning and growing.
@@Linda-pw8gx proud of you!! ❤️ We can do it 🙂
I was rejected by Felipe
I saw when this video was posted and… I procrastinated to watch it. I procrastinated because I knew it was going to hit really close to home, and it did. I’ve struggled with everything listed here and over the years I’m proud to say that I’ve managed to get to a healthier place! It’s a work in progress though… especially with procrastination, isolation, and perfectionism.
If you’re working through these things too, I feel for you and I just know you can improve your self esteem 🙂
I’m really proud of my journey. While there is still a lot of self hate I have to overcome, it’s not as bad as it used to be.
Im experiencing all the 7 signs as long as i can remember!!! I really dont know how to deal with it. It is really affecting my life in every single aspects
Have you been seeking help or coaching of any form for this?
Medication will be a big help for you im on and it and changed my life.
I’m honestly shocked. I immediately wanted to disagree that these things were true, but realized that didn’t serve me. Realizing I do in fact have low self esteem actually makes so much sense in the way I experience life. Can you do one on how to increase self esteem?
It may not be possible; but finding happiness is better than trying to fix something that's not really a flaw. Look at the bright side: you're considerate, carrying, thoughtful, smart, and good at things you are good at, even if you don't see it
@@JT_Ling
@@JT_Ling Those are all assumptions that may or may not be true tho
@Erikilla, pay attention to your "self talk" and stop it when it is critical. Most peoples' "self talk" is not them talking, it is a parent, teacher, authority figure, etc. Stop negative "self talk" and replace it with kind and loving self talk. Also find people who treat you nicely and don't continually criticize you. Be kind to yourself and others. Blessings.
If you were bullied pretty much your entire childhood, is it even possible to get rid of your self-esteem issues eventually? I read so many books about it and it got little better, I feel. I hate it.
I can't even meet an online friend in person I've been texting to since three years. I'd act too insecure. It would be nothing but awkward ...
I was bullied my whole childhood and then I met a narssist which made it worse I managed to go to college and do chef's course which sorted me out, but the head chef abused me and I was back to square 1. Now I feel like you and don't know how to get out of it, sorry that you're feeling that way too😘🫤xx
You can get out of it.
While I still have a good amount of symptoms shown in the video, I now try to tackle things head on ...
It took me roughly 5 years of therapy to get there, but eventually I did.
Trying to think of the options and their effect in the long run is what I do to bypass that now - so if I'm not sure whether to contact someone, I start thinking what the worst case would be ... And usually that is it being awkward and validating what my previous thoughts were.
However, not doing anything at all will ultimately also validate those thoughts which will just make it harder the next time (the thought of the worst case scenario will as well and be more present, but the outcome is the same)
I know just reading this isn't gonna solve anything in its own, but there are ways ... They all just require a looot of courage
idk man i was bullied all my younger years and people treat me way different now but it doesn’t help the nagging voices are still there. i’m just growing to accept that this may just be a part of me now and just work through those moments when they come up instead of trying to make them all go away
Hi, I’ve been bullied and abused since childhood. All my life, I’ve been abused. And it still even happens now tbh. It kind of sucks. It is exhausting to feel the self hate, and it is painful. You feel like you’re in a room made of bricks with no way out. It’s also lonely. You may even feel guilty finding moments to celebrate in achievements so you self sabotage.
Here’s the thing though, I’m going to cognitive and behavioral therapy. And since then, I’ve learned to love myself a little more and then that ends up increasing. There are moments I go back to self hating, but I have now been able to counter it. I can’t give advice on my process because it’s different for everybody. It’s taking me years to accomplish and it felt like it took forever to get where I am now. I’m proud of myself, but the journey was tough and emotional.
It is worth it, though. And it is possible to learn self love through trauma therapy and help. Reading books alone is not going to help, but it is a start. There are many resources out there and solutions. I’m nowhere near perfect with the self love part, but it’s a start. I learned to practice boosting myself up even if I don’t believe it because over time, you’ll actually begin to believe it if you say it enough. I also discovered which self compliments I like and don’t like. I am now a brave, strong, and striving individual who refuses to give up.
I hope the best for you. And remember these: don’t listen to that toxic “just be happy” positive you see a lot, don’t compare yourself to others because everybody’s journey is different, don’t feel ashamed if you feel behind because that’s okay and everybody’s different, don’t feel bad if you relapse here and there no matter how often as it is not a linear path, and you only fail if you don’t try.
💕
Whoever is reading this, I pray that whatever you’re growing through gets better and whatever you’re battling with makes your situation better as you’re continuing to be a better person each day. I have faith that you’ll turn out great as your circumstances will change. Have a fantastic day! You got this! 🤗💪🏼❤️
Amen! I totally agree with you!
@@gigibanks5258 🥰
I appreciate the phrase "whatever you're _growing_ through." Whether it was intended to be that word or not, it's a good framework.
@@umbrascitor2079 Yes, the framework was intentional :) Thank you for seeing the value of the message! I appreciate you ~Love Nat
@@gigibanks5258 Amen! You're the best, Gigi!
I don't comment on TH-cam videos very often, but I just wanted to thank you guys for everything that you do. Your content has helped me a lot in my mental health journey :')
Well all this sounds like me A LOT! I always feel like other people are always cooler, more interesting, better than me. Sometimes I see myself as a great person, but mostly I feel inferior. It honestly makes me cry sometimes. I just don't know if I'll ever be able to live the life I want to.
I can literally relate in all of these points, i have high-functioning autism and i have low self-esteem also because i feel i've been too cuddled because of my disorder and i feel i've never struggled and achieved anything.
I worry I am high functioning autistic. I was raised by an undiagnosed bi-polar single parent, who I believe played a decent part in setting the bar of my self-esteem.
@@mattrixuseither8187 Do something i should have done a long time ago, train yourself to be self-sufficient, this might help you a lot.
My self esteem has being swinging up and down for years now. Sometimes I am full of confident, sometimes I feel so worthless.
I just absolutely LOVE the narrator's voice! So smooth and soothing. This channel offers good content, the videos are not too long so I don't loose interest! I have anxiety and PTSD, I find this channel so incredibly helpful and this woman's voice is devine! Thank you! ❤️🥰❤️
I can relate to all of this especially #5. Even when I don't what to do someone asks me to do, I do it to please them.
Once a motivating person..
Was absorbed in Low self esteem..
But I promise You...
One day I'll overcome 🙂
Wish you the best until then. 🤍
@@変態男-o2p Thanks Man.
Very soon...
I'll be an example to the society.
Will set 🔥🚒
goodluck
I stopped people pleasing a long time ago, it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. The other six are still a work in progress.
I've always been aware of my low self esteem but never related with this video this accurately and because of that, its been affecting my whole life, pretty sure the same as everyone else here.
I can see myself in most of the points. I got over the one or other, but everyone else seems to see much more in me than I do even if I always reached anything that was necessary or that I wanted.
It gets better over the years but I can see how much easier it could be with more confidence in yourself - try to tell yourself that you can do it and that you can afford being seen by others. If someone makes a compliment, just say "thank you" and nothing else. At least that's what helps me.
Another problem that is common but they didn't mention is constantly apologizing even if it doesn't matter. It's something that I used to do so much that my friends lovingly joke with me that I'm not allowed to say sorry anymore 😅
When you're an artist, there's always a hint of perfectionism in all we do. I hope I don't confuse that with low self-esteem. We know when to stop. Painting's done!
As well as a sort of need to be validated. However in the case of art it craves an audience doesn't it? It's kinda natural to attempt to share beauty with others. You always find a way to make it better through your eyes.
@@Panzerfaust-ux8xb Don't forget the sheer thrill of creating and its therapeutic value while creating. Those motives may override any need for validation since the value comes from within. Yes?
@@triconcert Yep you're right! Personally I find it a source of meditation as well as something to remove boredom. Combine it with some good music and you'd feel as glorious as shaping the universe itself! (personally I like pencil drawing mostly)
Comment below if your self esteem hasn't been the best lately and what are you doing to fix that?
Ok
Mine self-esteem is really bad from my severe depression and other things just not doing too well
My self esteem is lower than 1% /j
Positive affirmations, self-care and motivation.
@@Rip_DrippyOfficial Sorry for you, I am the same as you with more mental illnesses, hang on though. It'll be better!
My mom called me a procrastinator once. And I said, “Oh, yeah? Well, you just wait…” 🤭
Lmao
All of them are true and relatable. I was struggling since middle school due to bullying, family issues, my mental health issues and toxic surroundings.
Until now, I tried my best to limit myself with them, defend myself even though seems impossible, try to make contact with new people (if I get lucky, maybe become friends/soulmates?) and the most important, I'll try to improve myself to be much better person. Reduce the perfectionism, people pleasing and procrastination. Also try to spend time with nature, pets or any hobbies. No more negative self-talk which impact my mental health, hurt my feelings and deteriorated my motivation. Passivity.. It will take time and patience to get what I want but never mind. That's worth it. About compliments.. I think I need time to accept it cuz everytime people praise me, I deny it immediately and bring me feel overwhelmed.
💕
Yes, I struggle with seeing my self-worth. It sucks. Trying to balance confidence and humility is tough. It’s like I’m sabotaging myself by assuming that people will negatively judge me regardless of what I do. I should add that I can relate to a lot of the things listed in this video.
David, this makes me sad to hear this, however we can’t change other people but we can change ourselves! Stay positive in this hard world.
@@Linda-pw8gx Thanks Linda. Same to you. Part of my problem, as well, is that I’m too much of a people pleaser.
Hope you're feeling better and know you're not going through this alone.
I notice I'm a people pleaser/think lowly of myself and compare alot, and I think it's time for me to change. We're all in it together. Stay strong!
1) procrastination
2) negative self talk-definitely describes me!
3) isolation-I feel isolated at times when I’m in public
4) people pleasing
5) perfectionism
6) being unable to accept compliments!
Unfortunately, I have all. It’s interesting though that so far my BEST HELP to stop the negative self-talk REQUIRES isolation. Because the only way for me to not have the negative parts of me thrown back in my face is for no one to have to SEE them.
Great video! The first five definitely describe how I live, the last two--I gave up on trying to be perfect a long time ago and I finally, forced myself to accept compliments. At first it was hard, I would just say thank you, but inside I didn't really believe what the person said was true. But now, I actually sincerely accept compliments and actually believe them. It was a process, but I'm finally able to do it. Love your videos. I think I am going to take this list to my next therapy appt. We've already been talking about a lot of this stuff, but it will facilitate some more good conversations with her. Thank you!!
- We live in a world where the threats that we face are probabilistic: Terrorists might attack. The economy might nose dive, right? These are 'probabilistic dangers.' The problem is, the brain's designed not to turn off the fear response until a danger is gone completely. But probabilistic dangers never are gone completely so we tend to be a little more hyperreactive. So how do you tune up the nervous system rather than having to reach for psychopharmaceuticals? I often define 'peak performance' as getting our biology to work for us rather than against us. What I'm really talking about are the systems underneath what we call motivation, learning, creativity, and flow. 'Flow' is an optimized state of consciousness where we feel our best and we perform our best. The research says there are three tools you can reach for: Gratitude has really precise impacts on the brain and anxiety. I like to write down 10 things that I'm grateful for and I write down each one three times. Gratitude is literally you're just pointing out to the brain things that have already happened that are good. And it tilts this ratio so we're taking in a lot less negative stuff. This, by the way, lets more novel stuff come through. Gratitude can work as a 'flow trigger' that way. The second one is mindfulness- 11 minutes a day of mindfulness practice. You know, follow your breath, focus meditation basically, is enough to really calm down your nervous system, make you less emotional-reactive. Your third option is exercise- 20 to 40 minutes worth of exercise is enough. And if you're exercising for mental hygiene, right, for cognition, and I wanna get into flow, you wanna exercise until basically the voice in your head gets really quiet and your lungs open up. Both things happen because there's a global release of nitric oxide, it's a gaseous, signaling molecule that's sort of everywhere in the body. One of the things it does is it flushes stress hormones out of your system. It'll reset the nervous system sort of back to baseline, back to zero. When I talk about peak performance, we always emphasize 'cognitive literacy': understanding what's going on in the brain and the body when we're performing at our very best. Now this is difficult in the modern world because most of us tend to be a little hyperanxious. Daily problems that we all deal with- anxiety, depression, right? We now know, for example, that a 20-minute walk in the woods will outperform most antidepressants on the market. If you take a walk in a part of nature where you haven't been before, you're not only gonna get serotonin, that calming chemical, you're gonna get the dopamine from novelty and complexity and unpredictability. So you're gonna get some feel good, happy juice and some calm. And these are great tools to be able to reach for in times of stress rather than having to reach for psychopharmaceuticals. On a certain level, we have a drug store in our brain, the neurochemicals that show up in flow: so dopamine, norepinephrine, anandamide, endorphins, and serotonin. If you were to try to cocktail the street drug version of that, right, you're trying to blend like heroin and speed and coke and acid and weed- and point is, you can't do it. It turns out the brain can cocktail all of 'em at once, which is why people will prefer flow to almost any experience on Earth. It's our favorite experience. It's the most addictive experience on Earth. Why? 'Cause it cocktails five or six of the largest pleasure drugs the brain can produce. We're all capable of so much more than we know. That is a commonality across the board. That's the largest lesson that 30 years in studying peak performance has taught me. And one of the big reasons is we're all hardwired for flow, and flow is a massive amplification of what's possible for ourselves.
I’m retired and now am inclined to procrastinate. Love it!
Me relating to all the facts - "Shit!!! I gotta think positive and have some self esteem, I'm sabotaging my own self by saying negative things about my own self,I'm procastina and blaming the circumstances for my failure, That's wrong."
Thank you so much for the video,I've learned a lesson.
Manifesting for everyone who is trying tO build themselves for the better. We all got this
Okay I gotta admit I never wanted to admit but I really have a low self-esteem which is effecting my daily life and making me feel bad about myself I’ve been avoiding everything and I’m burnt out I really need to start practicing self positive talk and i should work on my confidence perfectionism is a bad thing we’re humans we make mistakes if we want to improve we should keep trying we should keep pushing ourselves hard and hard to get better i used to be confident about myself but after I grew up I lost it which is a bad thing thank you so much for making this video hopefully i will be able to regain back my confidence
7 HABITS OF PEOPLE WITH LOW SELF ESTEEM :
1. 0:34 PROCRASTINATION
2. 1:12 PASSIVITY
3. 2:03 NEGATIVE SELF TALK
4. 2:45 ISOLATION
5. 3:27 PEOPLE PLEASING
6. 4:05 PERFECTIONISM
7. 4:41 BEING UNABLE TO ACCEPT COMPLIMENTS
It is such hard work being a relative of someone with low self esteem. All encouragement seems to be ignored, even though you really care about the person and want them to be happy. I feel powerless to help them as they just constantly refuse any encouragement or support, always refusing to go out despite constantly offering them a door to door taxi and paying for it, just to see them happy. I think the only thing they can do is help themselves. I do love them.
Struggled with each of these at different times, and still do. Thanks for sharing this video :)
Yep, I definitely fall under the procrastination, negative self-talk, Isolation, and People Pleasing categories.I kept beating myself up for constantly making mistakes, always feeling like an incompetent burden that always gets in the way of others, and not being "where I'm supposed to be by now" in recent years. Been trying to combat that lately, but it's not been easy.
It might be a good idea to do a video on how to boost self esteem. I really need that right now.
"unworthy of love or friendship" this hit hard for me.
I have always been a person of low self esteem but I'm slowly learning to be more confident I guess
This just describes the entirety of myself. Just thinking about how i did all those and here i thought im more confident. I barely scratched the surface.
I think low self esteem has struck me hard during my first (and so far only) year of teaching this past school year. But of everything mentioned in this video, I think the people-pleasing side of me got the best of me, especially with students, parents, a particular teacher from a different campus in the same district, and administration.
I can totally relate! I was a first year teacher this past year and it was really challenging. I experienced many of the things mentioned in my video.
I’m with you guys!!!! Have any of you just accept it and just try to make the best of things or do you struggle to try to not be this person? I HATE it!!!
😩🥺
I can see a lot of that in myself and believe my biggest fault is procrastinating. The isolation one I'd blame on circumstance though due to lack of time and personally preferring to be alone more often. I like hanging with friends but anxiety kicks in if we just sit around and talk eventually leading to me just being on my phone most of the time and not really hanging. Always good to have an activity like games for that situation but not everyone wants to do the same things
“have you been ignoring your friends’ calls or invitations lately?” nah i don’t have irl friends that i make plans with
other than that, ever since i was a young teen, my self-esteem has always been low. but nowadays it’s a bit higher :)
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on." - Maxwell Maltz
I have long periods of low self-esteem and long periods of high self-esteem and it's hard for me to find equilibrium.
In this moment I'm really happy with myself but I can relate with everything in the video because it let me remember months of school anxious and problems.
I'm by myself all the time....(unless I'm hanging with my son)
Girls never say what it is.. yall hit the wrong spot on purpose.. I believebut it's a real problem, . I'm becoming a new person...so I'm figuring this out.
Man, I can relate to low self-esteem procrastination and passivity and self negativity talk, I find trying to balance between my career and having fun with friends and I thank you for the video
Isolation is a big thing for myself, but I don't feel I can do much about it. After living in Phoenix for 20 years, I moved to a small town area. I tried a lot of groups, yet all but of them have fallen through or had bad effects that were so strong that I had to quit. That's left with occasionally taking myself out to lunch and doing one casual group every other week. Besides that, I'm stuck at home with my elderly parents.
Another problem is I have to isolate myself at home because I have hyperacusis (extreme sound sensitivity) whereas my father has bad hearing loss and is in denial about his hearing problems. He frequently does loud noises that surprise me and make me stop breathing and have to get away from him, but he tries to argue that he was being quiet and apologises just for the sake of it without any meaning.
Like you could read my mind... How else do I improve...? Having low self-esteem is taking a toll on my life... Please make more videos on curing self-esteem... Thank you so much... 😊😊❤
💕you are worth more than you think you are! 💕
As a person with low self-esteem, depression, anxiety and overthinking I can say that every point is my daily life. But I can handle it so far. I'm okay
💕
I have been isolated for 4 years and still am now, I worry too much about the world that I overthink every situation I'm in. This video wraps up almost everything about me 🤧
So sorry to hear, At least you know have insight, you are not your thoughts you are just observer them so you can choose. This is your gift as a human, practise and respond to in full the thoughts that are coming up! I hope this helps
I manage to fit into all of these habits, yet I've never considered them all to fall under having low self-esteem (though I've also never considered all of these points holistically). Despite having ideas and the tools to make things, I don't commit to starting anything properly, so I've just got dozens of voice memos and random files of audio and clips of music and I've just procrastinated constantly. Same idea for passivity - I'll take opportunities but only if they're handed to me simply. I keep to myself in my room most days, I always try to please others, I very rarely ever settle for something being less than perfect, I don't take compliments well most times - so yeah, these fit me fairly well. While negative self-talk has been a large part of me before, I think I'm improving there, and I'm trying to improve myself in all these other aspects too.
Maybe, now that I've seen these traits as all coming under the umbrella of low self-esteem, I can try to fix them and adapt myself to improve.
Thanks for the realisation, Psych2Go.
I've never think about procrastination as a low self-esteem habit, but now it make a lot of sense.
So informative! I know my self esteem was low, and I always thought it was me not having certain qualities or materialistic things. But now I understand the root cause. Thanks ❤️
Wow, I just got this video recommended to me and describes everything about my life. I am almost at tears. I feel lost.
My self esteem is virtually non-existent. I ticked every box.
Shit.
People pleasing does burn you out,it’s exhausting!Slowly turning this around in my life, making positive changes.
Today is muslim's Eid (Al-Adha) I wish you guys be happy and healthy ❤️❤️
No, it's tomorrow
@@Angga-ew1mh they might have a diff time zone
Thank you 🥰 Happy eid to you as well and everyone who read my comment 🥳
Ameen
@@Angga-ew1mh No no It's today in Egypt 😅
I always beat myself up for procrastinating, and I’m definitely a people pleaser…. Thank you for helping me be a little more aware of my mental health
Even when i try to better my self essteem the world punches back 1000x fold, to those struggling you can get better, I however can not
Yes I do. I people please a lot and for the last 3 weeks I have overwhelmed myself because of it. I also am a teacher and I always find myself regretting what I have said during the day or through the week. At the end of every day I always want to hide in my bedroom instead of playing cards with my family which we do basically 5 times a week. It is hard and when my dad or brother tells me they are proud I always look down and feel like I shouldn't be praised because it took me almost 7 years to get through college. I'm really trying to find the steps I need to raise my confidence over time to better my mental image of myself. This video did help me identify things I need to work on so thanks a lot!.❤
Those who have low self esteem are the ones who you can see judging others. I know a lot of them. 😁
BTW, thank you for this Ma'am, this is so educational! 🙂
Having low self-esteem, anxiety, overthinking and being introvert are totally bonus to drown ourself within our thoughts world
Perfectionism is what caused me to stop drawing almost entirely. Instead of working on things that need improving, I see those things as lack of skill and just get more depressed at not being able to draw what I envision.
Dang it.
For everyone out there with self esteem issues, hang in there, because you DO COUNT, and you DO MATTER! Work a little every day on loving yourself more. You’ve made it through ALL of the worst days you’ve had so far, and that’s SOMETHING! Even on the days you think you’re a mess, you hang in there. Self esteem takes PRACTICE! ❤️
I relate to procrastinating, being passive, negative self talk, and isolating myself all to well😔
Allright, I already knew I have low self esteem, and I wanted to see how many of these things I relate to, and add my own notes and stuff on the topic.
Procrastination - I do this all the time, TH-cam videos are my go-to for this sort of thing, but I've been trying to do so less by working on random little projects on my laptop and figuring out a schedule for the day and sticking to it no matter what, but I'm procrastinating on writing out the schedule thing...
Passivity - Used to a lot, but now I'm slowly getting out of that by setting 2 main goals: loose weight and wear clothes I actually want to wear, and loosing weight will help with the clothes I want because most styles I'm into are very form-fitting and I know I'll look really weird if I try to wear them now.
Negative Self Talk - All the bloody time and I hate it! Can range from me thinking I'm plain no good and suck at everything to me believing everyone hates me because of random small dumb things I did in the past. It's absolutely ridiculous.
Isolation - Yes, but I don't believe (in my case at least) It's due to low self esteem, at least not fully. I'm terrified to go anywhere on my own because I'm scared I'll get lost. and if I get lost that means I'd have to ask for directions, and I'm terrified of people because I've had "stranger danger" drilled into my brain as a child and that's made me paranoid to simply wave to someone I don't know. Not only that I have a terrible sense of direction and cant figure out directions from someone just telling me them. My "stranger danger" fear also limited what I did on the internet for ages because I thought everyone was hackers and pedos, or hacker pedos. But I'm trying to participate in communities, mainly via yt comments sections.
People Pleasing - Yes but I don't do it because I seek attention or validation, I genuinely get extremely happy when I can help someone with something. i like helping because helping is good. i get really sad when i cant help and then start thinking im no good. then i say sorry because i can't help them and im no good. then it becomes a big no good loop.
Perfectionism - While I personally wouldn't call it that because I hate the word perfect and in my opinion, that thing doesn't exist, I do put large amounts of pressure to be really good at something and if someone else is better at that thing than I am, I instantly devalue myself and believe my skills aren't worth anything because their better. I also tend to compare myself to others and rather than thinking, "Oh, I can learn from them." It's instantly, "I'm shit because their better than me and I'll never be that good."
Being Unable To Accept Compliments - Sort of? Sometimes I get really giddy and unnaturally happy when someone compliments me, and other times I let out a quiet "yeah" while trying to process the words said to me. I suppose that depends on my mindset at the time.
Sorry the comment is so long but I hope it was at least a bit interesting to read. If you did read it all, thanks and your clawsome for reading my weird little ranty venty thingy.
Wow I’ve really come a long way from where I used to be… I can say I’m still battling with procrastination on many things from time to time but overall my self esteem has drastically improved
I' m guilty of all these. I'm in therapy and working to get better but I pretty much grew up this way.
Something that always helps me whenever I’m feeling depressed or bad about myself is music, specifically spiritual music. I’m a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and I find that the song “Devine” always helps me find my self worth. It’s a great song and I encourage anyone who is feeling bad about themselves to listen to this song and know that you are amazing. You are perfect just the way you are.
As an extremely insecure and a person with low self-esteem,I totally agree with all the points mentioned throughout the video.Hoping for the best in future!💜
💕
Dont worry you’ll make it! whtever your goal is just dont be too harsh on yourself mate 😃
@@boyu4570 Thanks alot for your kind words!🥺Your comment has literally made my day 💜
It’s amazing that’s you’re honest with yourself and have self-awareness and that’s exactly what you need to start the journey of self-love. Good luck on your journey 💗💗💗
@@wj1731 You are totally correct!I still feel that I need to be more honest and gentle with myself and not just love but also care for myself.Self awareness is undoubtedly the first step to self-love 💜Thanks for wishing me good luck! 💕💕💕
i'm having these issues since i was a kid even until now
Personally, if the me of 3 or 4 months ago had seen the video, I would surely identify with most of the things said, for years I have had low self-esteem, I have always had a hard time communicating with others and several problems caused by my relationship with my family, but over time I have learned to improve and being with my friends has encouraged me to do more things, it has helped me a lot, although I would not say that now I feel good about myself, but I would not say that I feel bad about myself either Now I would just say I'm somewhere in the middle, I'm just ok.
Surprisingly, I somewhat relate to all of these, not really into the second one. But, 4:41? - This is one of my biggest struggles. I appreciate all those who say positive things about me, it's just.. where am I even going to start? I can't even explain myself properly. Accepting compliments makes my heart warm, I'm just afraid for those who heard the compliment with me. They might get insecure, or they might even look down at themselves. At the same time, because of my perfectionism, I don't really notice that I actually make people proud, or impressed, since I like everything, to work on how I want it to be.
This hits home for quite a few things, I guess.
To be honest, I struggle with what is real about my well-being and what might be "made up for attention or self-pitty", as my mom called it. So who knows, right? Maybe all of my struggles are normal and common and I'm just not willing to accept that. What about our cognitive and emotional understanding is real afterall, right?
I'm gonna see myself out. Sorry.
I, like many of you can relate to most or all of these. While it’s painful to admit, the validation that this video and and your comments provide makes me feel much less like an outcast.
Thank you.
I think this situation can have a silver lining when not taken to extreme levels of self deprecation. Every one of those avoidant social features mentioned here could be an act of self care, especially when social environments occasionally get toxic. I have found procrastination and lack of resolve to be the makings of a wondrous bleve of the self, if it involves creative/contemplative behaviour , a goal within itself. Goals are over-rated 😏😋
OMG Psych2go! I'm so shocked at how accurate this is! This is literally me... I do all of things u guys have mentioned on the list! I'm not a very confident person either. Thank you for making me self-aware! I'll try to improve myself henceforth.
Loads of love
PS: LOVE your channel... keep up the good work!
I struggle with all these things in a extreme level , and my isolation has ruined my life , I hurt my friends feelings by isolating myself 😔