Steven Seagal Wrote a Book (We Read It) | BEHIND THE BASTARDS
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Steven Seagal Wrote a Book (We Read It) | BEHIND THE BASTARDS
Robert is joined by Shereen Lani Younes to discuss Steven Seagal's book, The Way of the Shadow Wolves.
Original Air Date: July 24, 2021
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There’s a reason the History Channel has produced hundreds of documentaries about Hitler but only a few about Dwight D. Eisenhower. Bad guys (and gals) are eternally fascinating. Behind the Bastards dives in past the Cliffs Notes of the worst humans in history and exposes the bizarre realities of their lives. Listeners will learn about the young adult novels that helped Hitler form his monstrous ideology, the founder of Blackwater’s insane quest to build his own Air Force, the bizarre lives of the sons and daughters of dictators and Saddam Hussein’s side career as a trashy romance novelist.
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At this point, I don't judge Steven Seagal for hanging out with dictators. I judge dictators for hanging out with Steven Seagal
Yeah, like Putin…Buddy, there are so many more important people you could be hanging out with other than Steven
This aint it, commander in chief
Inside you there are two wolves. Both are kissing Steven Seagal's forehead.
You could have stopped this comment before the apostrophe.
@@thomasgiles2876 You mean like "Both are kissing Steven Seagal"? Sure, that's an option if you want the mental image of Steven Seagal french kissing a pair of furries...
Then he danced off into the desert with the wolves. You know, dancing with wolves!😂
When I'm upset I come here to listen to them n read THIS comment idk why but it's so funny I manage to laugh every single time😂 the imagery is top notch 🤌✨
"PETA gave him an award."
If he was alive today, PETA would give Hitler an award for promoting vegetarianism while being a political leader. I'm exaggerating but not by much. PETA probably deserves its own episode here.
"The Shadow Wolf MOONWALKED out of the theater." I fixed it. You're welcome, Steven Segal!
"Celebrate death with Raytheon." Robert is a born pitchman.
"I just read the best book ever written..."
"Who wrote it?"
"Me"
😂
When your professor lists his own book on the course syllabus
Having just finished a degrees in archaeology and in women and gender studies I have had the privilege of interacting with and reading a lot from Indigenous folk. In comparing Steven’s descriptions versus what I have heard from indigenous people there is a distinct tone difference in their descriptions of cultural practices.
There is a particular fetishistic tone encountered when I hear outsiders talk about Indigenous culture that is well represented here, often emphasizing how Indigenous people are “a world apart” from others and have all the answers.
In my own experiences learning from Indigenous people there is usually an emphasis on imparting lessons and being a part of the world, as opposed to manufacturing a strange world seemingly absent of meaning.
Arent they big enviromentalist, due them like living with the land culture heritage.
Which i big agree with, we shouldnt screw over nature shortsighted. Even more.
Also pretty big migrating natural disaster and other , oh god depressibg climate change stuff. which, bad.
And i respect being closed off,being that ,oh god all the aproviating and stealing and ... of tribes. Bloody give them way more funding at least ok. And maybe respect.
Or how cody said,hire them with whoever has any knowkedge how to maintain forrests, and not just mow them down. And pay them. Hire the tribes whoever there. I dont know, its a great idea.
I think Sea Gull just interprets indigenous culture as a kind of cool magic.
@@patchso It's mostly about alcoholism and domestic abuse.
Another awesome fact I recently learned about Seagal, courtesy of the Corridor Crew channel is that he was apparently notorious for disregarding safety and beating the living shit out of stuntmen in his movies. Great dude all around!
But you know who won't beat the living shit out of your supporting staff....
Yeah, that's something I heard on some kinda TV show at some point, from a stuntman that once had the displeasure of working with him.
Said that he refuses to pull punches and kicks, which makes his movies actively worse because he's acting with people who know a full-force fatman kick to the ribs is coming.
But it's more important for Seagal to have this physical interaction with random men than it is for him to put out a decent product
That's absolutely what happened in the "That time Steven Seagal shat himself" story - that he was flinging stunt actors around, and the stunt co-ordinator, "Judo" Gene LaBell was getting pissed about and it culminated in in Seagal's ill-advised challenge. 😂
He’s „disregarding safety“, he‘s being a shit. He’d kick stuntmen in the balls, under the pretense of teaching the importance of a jockstrap
That’s also how he wound up breaking poor Sean Connery’s wrist
Nothing as terrifying as controlling *MOST* snakes. Allways wondering if this will be the one you can't control, while also having to know if it's venomous or a constrictor.
He just can't manage to break the adamantine will of the mighty hog-nosed snake
I think my favourite blatant lie was the statement "political parties, generally two parties per country" because it just makes it so clear the authors have never paid a shred of attention to a country that wasn't the US (and like mayyyybe the UK bc while it's not a two party system the tories have formed government for so long that it still gets covered like one internationally)
To all intents and purposes the UK does have a two party system. Due to having an electoral system that is functionally still in beta (it's the first one, pretty much, and has never benefitted from seeing other peoples mistakes) it's set up as a brutal 'first past the post' arangement that actively makes it *functionally* impossible to have more than two parties, while not having anything written down to prevent other folks running, with the result that the only effect of having more than two parties is splitting the votes on the left in such a way as to guarantee decades more of Tory rule.
@@josephpotter5766 Yeah, I'm canadian so... basically the same system here lol. Most provinces are basically two party systems that might elect a couple third party candidates (be that green, ndp, or one of the right wing generally purple ones). Honestly need to do some more history reading to find out how the NDP managed to become a legitimate third party federally, but yeah, I'm all too aware of the whole vote splitting on the left in first past the post systems thing. Current govt claimed they were going to do prop rep, then release a bogus survey and buried the issue, but I really hope that one day I will never have to hear the phrase "strategic voting" in that context again.
Please, please do the next part of this one… it’s a painful, painful experience, these book read throughs have grown on me, not unlike melanoma,
I tried to make a run on sentence with too many commas, but I couldn’t seagal and Shapiro it up enough.
"As the sound rode the air to his animal like ears." Well now I have to picture him as some kind of catboy. Or maybe a wolfboy.
I pictured him as the only human who didn't mount some cyberpunk-style hearing aids in a world where heavy body modifications are normal and common.
Aren’t all ears ‘animal like’?
Definitely mantis-like.
Alex Jones and Kurt Angle are the only two I could see being naturally immune to being choked out lol. Necks like Chun-Li's thighs
Henry Rollins as well
Curt Angle had his neck broken in an Olympic wrestling match... he went on to place with a medal in that event... I'm sad for trashtalking hi. So much as a professional wrestler.
There are several sumo wrestlers similar. Takarafuji and Tsurugisho come to mind.
Steven Seagal film titles:
Out for Lunch
On the Can
Driving for Uber
Slipped on Ice
On Parole
Pork is one of those things that's very commonly forbidden in ancient religions because pork can carry a lot of really bad parasites and is incredibly hard to cook throughly over open flame or tell when it's cooked by looking at it. Same with carrion birds.
His finest work is under siege 2: dark territory, it's got it all, train hijacking, space weapon hijacking, quality 90s movie hacker memes (a gig of ram), it's got a sassy and in hindsight mildly racistly written side kick, a train that lacks continuity from one shot to the next, quality henchmen to protect the nerd bad guy.
It's a masterpiece of the genre of a bad movie that's so bad it almost comes full circle to be a pleasant watch
Some of his movies are fun bad watches. Under siege 1 is probably his best movie, arguably an enjoyable watch and not total dogshit.
@@VCV95 a simpler time where you could get away with a cake with a semi naked lady in it at your party aboard a battleship and not fear disciplinary action.
@@trainskitsetc lmao. Jesus, stripper cakes were HUGE in 80's/90's action movies. So many had a scene, even the parody movies did.
The one sword fighting scene where he actually tries?!
@@VCV95 Bring them back! 🤣 next Bond film needs one.
5th Palace Publishing only did this one book, and according to Bizapedia, one SF Seagal is one of the contacts. I imagine "5th Palace" is a Tibetan Buddhist reference.
Glad you shared the gene lebelle story about him choking out seagal, causing him to shit himself. One of the instances where karma catches up with an asshole
It’s one of the great stories of bullshido being exposed.
Gene Lebelle was an actual judoka, so anyone who messed with that dude would have had a bad time.
Wait, "everything in this book could happen", but Johnboy here has magic powers to control snakes?
What? You don’t?
Power of some people and most snakes? Is Seagal trying to make himself Native Harry Potter? Is the villain a man with no nose? Things I want to know without ever reading his book.
Hanging out with dictators and having allegations of human trafficking, makes Steven Seagal sound like the villain from a 90s cheesy action b-movie that Steven Seagal might star in.
He and Ben write like I did in 5th grade where I thought commas told you when to breath and slow down reading for dramatic effect.
I feel like at least one English teacher (or maybe even elementary school-level general teacher) did once teach us that commas represent pauses (I think it was in the early grades and they were probably trying to teach us to read and read aloud). Bingus Shapiro clearly also heard someone say this one time, and has accepted it unquestioningly ever since.
I'm pretty sure that's a tanker holster on the cover -- tank crews have to have individual self-defense weapons in case the tank gets knocked out, and it goes in that position in the middle of the chest so it's out of the way and doesn't get hung up getting in/out of the hatch. You can adjust the straps to make it a better/more conventional underarm rig when dismounted.
Tangent: Sometimes the tank crews get carbines/SMGs in addition to/instead of the pistol. WWII Sherman tanks had clips in the turret walls for Thompson guns or M1 carbines. Former tank commander @TheChieftainsHatch kept his M4 carbine on the roof of the turret in Iraq, because the only use cases would be shooting at something not worthy of even the .50 machine gun, or bailing out, grab it on the way rather than trying to drag it through the hatch
How does a wolf even kiss someone? They don't have lips. I know people sometimes refer to dogs licking as "kisses", but I feel like that's not what he had in mind...
He probably means licking, i dont want to think about zoophile seagal 😢 or furry seagal if that wolf was humanoid.
Seagal at his best always looked like he was fighting guys who were letting him win
The fact that, in the punani song, he is also pretending to be Jamaican, is a fat layer of extra cringe.
"Fat layer of extra cringe" would have been an excellent title for his book.
@@Supahdave1000 ahaha perfect indeed
Nice! Been binging all of these, lately.
Peace and love
After buying himself a reincarnation and lamahood, an aging Seagal has abandoned being a Whispery Count Dante to now appropriate whatever spiritual ancestral super power he can. Lord help us if he finds out about something like the Northern Territory Special Reconnaissance Unit and suddenly claims he's also part Indigenous Australian that can Death Punch people through Dreamtime.
Sophie must be protected at all costs.
2:35 you wouldn't say that the "best person" among male 90s action film stars is maybe Keanu Reeves? By all accounts, he seems a pretty stand-up guy, and I hope beyond hope that's true.
Keanu wasn't an action star like these guys until the 2000s. In the 1990s these other actors had already been in dozens of action films.
@@DichotomousRex _Speed_ was one of the biggest action films of the 90s, though. And people love _Point Break_ . Admittedly, _Johnny Mnemonic_ and _Chain Reaction_ were less action-oriented sci-fi films, but you can't get bigger or more action-y than _The Matrix_ capping off the decade.
I'm not saying you're wrong: he only had a few action films in the 90s, and none in the 80s, where Stallone, Schwarzenegger, et al each had dozens throughout the 80s and 90s. But I would still call him an action movie star in the 90s.
Arnold schwarzenegger? He is fine, but keanau would be if he were.
Is jackie chan, he seems ok other being a ccp shill. Ok big minus
Samuel jackson,dolph lindgren? Jet lee sounds fine. Dunno who is 90s thou.
Is sylvester stallone that awful?
And is bruce willis bad?!
I think he is like the pioneer of a revolution in action films that happened early 2000s. He started in the 90ies and was a convincing hero minus the hunking muscles but also not the low-down McClane type. So he is a 90ies action star, but isn't? Kinda?
Guest was amazing id love for them to be featured again
0:17 how dare you, JCVD is priceless
I just HAD to look up that cover image. This is the same quality as that "graphic design is my passion" thing with the cat and comic sans typeface.
_He remembered being told that he had the spirit of the snake in his bloodline, and that gave him power over some people and many snakes._
I can't. This is where I lost it. Seagal's book is unironically Half-Life: Full-Life Consequences tier fiction, if it were written by a bigoted paranoid schizophrenic.
We need a footnote detailing which snakes.
“wait, he was already dancing into the darkness, though.”
“yeah, he keeps doing it.”
lost my mind there.
"Kissed by Wolves" sounds like a Steven Seagal ripoff of "Dances With Wolves"
Every time you pronounce the G in saguaro, a part of me dies.
From what I understand, Seagal is a legit high-level aikido practitioner/instructor through the Aikikai, the main/most mainstream style or school of aikido. He's a 7th degree black belt, which is extremely high and very well-respected. I can remember threads about him on the old Aikido-L mailing list, and everyone who'd been to one of his clinics had nothing but praise for his technique. Yes, aikido demonstrations often look like the partner is willingly being thrown...because he is. The thing is, the techniques use wristlocks and the like in which the other guy has to go with the throw or get torqued really badly. This sort of practice is a matter of controversy in martial arts, but it's not like Seagal is paying guys to come be his fall guys in demonstrations. That's just what aikido looks like--you'll see the same thing if you look in your yellow pages and drop in to watch an aikido class at a local school.
None of this is really meant to defend Seagal--I think the guy's a scumbag predator with some crazy delusions he insists on projecting out to the rest of the world, no matter how ridiculous they obviously are. Just trying to add a bit of insight that I might have, as little as it might be. He's legit in some ways, and a freaking fantasy gone crazy in many others.
A man who could be mistaken for a saguaro... i can only assume he is 15 ft tall and has 7 arms and has no neck
Also can't touch him or he'll sting you with spikes
Sea Gull has such oriental and Native American roots that he is only truly at home slap bang in the middle of the Bearing Strait. As far ‘east’ and as far ‘west’ as it’s possible to be.
I actually prefer the idea that they are specific people and snakes he has power over. Like 5 people and 800 snakes, which sounds like a lot but only those specific ones and he hasn't found them
That’s really not many snakes in the grand scheme of things. I’d say you and I have control over about seventeen snakes.
"...his animal-like ears..."
Ben Seagal, confirmed furry.
"...and then a wolf kisses him..."
Jesus, Steven Shapiro! Keep it in your pants!
All of his bullshit happened because Seagal lived his whole life without ever knowing that just being a furry was an option.
@22:10 fun fact
in AZ now you can concealed carry almost anywhere with no permit
"fun" times
Not a place I'd want to be a cop, ngl.
@@jenniferbrewer5370 Or anyone a cop might want to "I thought they had a gun."
I would love to see an episode on the Panama Papers
Ive listened up to chapter 18 btw...
Has anyone actually read this book? This is not the first time I have heard people try, and nobody has ever finished.
My brother in Jane that intro
sorry had to just listened to that episode
The term "camera device" and all the over-explanations are right out of the L. Ron Hubbard style guide, but the awful grammar is pure Steven Seagal.
existence is pain
Shout out to "Judo" Gene Lebell, the man who made Seagal shit his pants.
The whole thing about pigs blood isn't just offensive, it's really stupid. If it's against your will, it's not a sin. I doubt they'd be particularly happy about it (I mean, who would be about getting stabbed) but you're not willfully violating any commandments.
I honestly thought they’d get Sean for this one. Not complaining though
Hard Target? Soft Walmart.
There is a scene in Star Trek The Next Generation where Q shows up to molest the crew (I refuse to use any other word and he gives everyone a hard time until he comes to Worf, then he says something like 'Microbrain! Eat any good books lately?'
So Worf kills Q, and the series is over.
I don't know why, but that was what popped into my mind when I read the title of this book. I'd like to think that Worf killed Q because he accidentally read this book.
Anyway, back to my timeline!
Morrissey the singer's first name is Steven so he could be up there.
Was the hundred year old book about goat ball transplants? The world needs to know.
Im reading your book Robert. No offence to your narrative but i preferer my own mind to decide what your words say, if you know what i mean? Bloody great story though!! Good job Sir!
Are you talking about practicing Death of the Author? We heavily caution against a Death of the Author interpretation of anything. You can't psychoanalyse an author through their work, but you most assuredly can gather a deeper contextual understanding of a work by learning about its author. In our opinion, Death of the Author *detracts* from media literacy, and there is some evidence that fiction or non-fiction, we engage with narratives the same way, because we engage in a suspension of disbelief for the purpose of consuming fictional narratives. As a result, training yourself to practice Death of the Author harms your ability to critically analyse historical narratives through the lens of who is telling them.
If this was a joke, we're sorry to whoosh ourselves, we just have a bone to pick with Death of the Author.
Erm ok dude. Was just saying i like the book man. You might have read too much into my comment. Anyhoo.. @@KitaBFawkes
@@KitaBFawkes i think they're just saying they're not listening to the audio version, 'narration' instead of 'narrative'
@@KitaBFawkes Who's "we"? The new critic school of post structural analysis is one lens, a single framework through which to consider a piece of media. It in no way detracts from media literacy if applied appropriately. It offers one method through which to detatch authorial intent from individual interpretation of a piece of work, but it's actually much deeper than that as it was also largely concerned with the very concept of a singular "author" in new media. For instance cinema, where there is no "author", it's a collaborative effort of script writer, director, actor, set dressers, costumers, cinematographers, camera operators - there is no "author" in the new media, the collaboration of all of those efforts deeply challenges traditional conceptions of 'the author'. More broadly, it challenges older cinema critiques that dependeded on "auteur theory" - that seeing each directors film as part of a larger body of work that should be judged as one continuous entity with each previous film contributing to the next, rather than examining each film in and of it's self and on it's own merit. It's not supposed to be taken literally, that you discard all authorial intent and focus entirely on subjective interpretation...
"Once the Author is removed, the claim to decipher a text becomes quite futile." - Roland Barthes, Death of the Author (1967)
@@MrDevival If that is the case, then we imagine our comment would come off as being out of left field. Regardless, we'll take any opportunity to say Death to Death of the Author.
56:51 holy hell, I think he genuinely believes non white people are magic...
50:20 "Inate magic natives" I think Steven Segal just honestly believes he lives in a movie, like a 13yo boy. Unlike a 13yo he has the money to keep himself living in the delusion.
3:50 Whats that fancy word for a grilled sandwich?
Like... nearly every excerpt they read made me extremely uncomfortable to listen to. It's like Seagal is barely containing the dominance struggle between his racism and his stupidity.
They're both the same thing really. Racism is just more pathetic.
There are two wolves inside Steven Seagal, and their names are Racism and Stupidity
43:10 cheese on a hamburger 🍔
1:06:00
Did sea gull steal his character's name from a Springsteen and later RATM song (The Ghost of Tom Joad)?
"camera device"
Shadow wolves = 40k grey knights
Robert, I will tell you how you wear a shoulder holster that badly. You get confused and think that shoulder holsters are just suspenders with a pouch on them.
Wow mistaking Lance Henrikson for Steven Seagal, that is probably the worst thing ever to happen to the poor guy. ;)
You left out an important source of their expertise, to wit, their degrees from Prager University.
i love how steven seagull just loves to imagine himself torturing people to death
like he very clearly gets off on the idea of having power over other people, whether it be fantasies about killing them horribly and damning them to hell or the many women he's raped in real life
1:14:54 well there you go thats it isnt it .. the reall power behind the throne of this book was big comma ... probably in league with grammerly ... :P
Honestly, I’d feel much better knowing grammerly is behind the deep state.
It’s a great but not perfect product. It’s one of the only annual services I pay for and I do so because it genuinely delivers on its promise. If only everything we bought could claim the same.
I’m sure they’ll get bought by some larger corporation group and undergo enshitification in a year or two.
56:55 lsd .. its ahell of a drug lol
Me want the punanani
Me want to eat spaceman paninis with Black Hitler
This book is an ad for copy editing.
Never be surprised when people who sincerely believe pure nonsense also cannot write or speak properly. Some people feel its an affront to their American freedom to be constrained by decent grammar or basic logic.
Fuck yeah. Time to watch the other seagull vids to get context. Good stuff
If you had two women pressed against your junk, is that a poonini?
Sorry, I'm terrible.
How many baby elephants do you have to kill to get an award from Peta? You'd probably have to kill more than they have, so I'm guessing it's quite a significant number.
Ghost in the shell is deep and complicated. The scarlett Johansson movie was a Hollywood job. In short, her body is artificial. The fact the manufactured body is white is part of the commentary the show and other movies made about internalized racism. It's in the title: what is the ghost in the shell? What is the nature of the soul regardless if the shell is flesh and blood or plastic and metal.
18:19 good anarchists rip and upload first
Oh goodie. Shereen again (or the first time, I listen to these podcasts out of order). The embodiment of anti-entertainment.
I have to tap out. Her voice is nails on chalkboard level irritant, sorry.
😂this is painful. He needs to disappear into darkness forever never to be remembered again. Along with their weird stories.
He for sure needs to be cast into the void. I don't want him to be forgotten though. I am hoping people are still laughing at him decades after he finally shits himself to death.
On drinking on airplanes:
There are many things to be upset about, but this will always be a personal source of rage for me.
During a global plague the fascist fan club got so worked up over being asked to wear one extra trace of cloth that they routinely caused so many violent disruptions that airlines and airports stoped serving alcohol.
While screaming about freedom, they took a basic freedom from us. The facts over feelings people took my fundamental right to mock the sky gods while drunk in a giant metal tube.
Which is absurd on so many levels. If you’re this upset about the masks… JUST BUY A DRINK AND FEEL BETTER OMG.
The exact privilege they ended up taking from everyone could have been the cure if they had a single ounce of self control.
The thing is, you wouldn't want those assholes drunk or drinking. They're already entitled to know end.
@@bethanychatman9531 That’s my point about self control, I think I failed to express it.
For a normal adult with just a bit of self control, a few drinks can help you chill out and go with the flow (in this case, not verbally or violently assaulting the poor flight attendants who are just trying to make a living).
But, for these self-centered pricks, they get wasted and use it to fuel behaving even more selfishly than usual. In the process, while ranting about MUH FREEDOM they take privileges from all of us.
And I will never forgive that. It is my fuckin right to buy a beer at the gate at the exact moment that state allows legal purchase of alcohol and to giggle about sky gods while doing shots tens of thousands of feet in the air. Anyone who takes that from me is my foe!
Oof, Keanu Reeves is obviously the best of them.
Steven Seagal actually has the 7th Dan in Aikido a japanese martial art. I know this because my old aikido trainer told us that hollywood celebrity Steven Seagal is an Aikido master.
I don't think there is a single thing that has more damage to the perception to Aikido than this guy to the point where apparently people like Robert think he doesn't even do a real martial art.
Aikido is not considered a real martial art by anyone except Aikido practitioners.
Aikido L
From the Bio: "He loves to tell a good story..."
We would have loved it if you'd told a good story too but instead, you wrote this crap.
14:25 in and it's all punani.
This is deeply painful to listen to
I for one, cant bring mymyself -understanding what problems you guys have with his grammar;-
How could you start the show by saying Segal starred in a movie that had nothing to do with him simply because one of his movie titles shared the word "Hard" with a movie starring JCVD?
Please read more cause you clearly enjoy reading these. lmao
Why would you promote the site for pig blood bullets?
"jobby" is the worst word that has ever been invented.
I'm a simple man. I hear Shereen Lani Younes, I downvote.