Nervous Deciders!

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 66

  • @samueleparo4828
    @samueleparo4828 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +32

    That part of "you have so many people problems that I don't even want to tell you!" It's so true, I have an ENTJ friend he would get so offended.

    • @user-ji5bd6pc6k
      @user-ji5bd6pc6k 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Could you please give top 3? It would be much appreciated? Usually what things we has to keep in mind?

    • @miguelmarcos1971
      @miguelmarcos1971 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@user-ji5bd6pc6k what the fuck is this
      also, if u mean people problems: walk up to your top g's, and go: hey am i a jerk somewhere and i dont seem to notice? got any feedback for self improvement? i wont answer, i wont take it personally nor will it mess w our relationship.
      dont just spit that at people though, get the convo there. oh and try to make it a "once every half a year" typa thing at least.

  • @DenisaNastase
    @DenisaNastase 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

    God I was laughing, as an IP :)) Recognising myself in this exact situation.. when people are trying to make funny or cute jokes about me, and a part of my mind understands that they are trying to be funny, but most of my mind just freezes and doesn't know how to respond :)) If it wasn't for learning about Deciders and Observers from OP, I would have continued thinking of these type of people as insensible or mean :)

    • @thisisnotrobi
      @thisisnotrobi 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      sameeeeeeeee.

    • @Lmaoeatrr
      @Lmaoeatrr 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      the goal as an IxxP is to be like a guy like Theo Von. He's completely honest, completely genuine, and so happy with himself that bullshit is really easy to joke around with. Basically, not give af to the point where you're an introvert, and some people see you as an extrovert.

    • @SerpentineWisdom
      @SerpentineWisdom 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@LmaoeatrrVery accurate.

  • @RoxanneRichardson
    @RoxanneRichardson 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    Okay, *now* I get the "people problems" thing. Absolutely see myself glossing over positive comment after positive comment, looking for the negative and then having that stick in my brain forever.

  • @Emmanu.el30
    @Emmanu.el30 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Perfectly explained. I love it.

  • @CaveyMoth
    @CaveyMoth 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

    Wait...maybe I'm just British!

  • @LexaLite
    @LexaLite 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    As an IxxP I definitely do this swing. I will have moments where all I wanted out of a situation is to be helpful to the tribe and somehow come out feeling like a victim and wanting to blame said tribe.
    It's an internal job, and one I try to be aware of because I feel it can make me sound like an annoying selfish person. But yea tribe woes is what plagues deciders for sure.

  • @Glurmp
    @Glurmp 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    As an EJ entering adulthood in 3 days, I can say that being nervous around people has played a big part in my teen years.

    • @Glurmp
      @Glurmp 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      But then again, I guess everyone was once a nervous teen in fear of judgement.

    • @Glurmp
      @Glurmp 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      But at the same time, you have to observe in relativity to others experience. We're all scared, but are you stuck/over-processing perspectives, or can you outwardly view the people game?

    • @dariaantonov7257
      @dariaantonov7257 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      bro I swear social anxiety goes crazy for an exxj in their teens+ I'm constantly thinking that everyone hates me so I'm like fuck the tribe, I'm gonna be independent

    • @Glurmp
      @Glurmp 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@dariaantonov7257 yeah that sums it up right there 😅😅

  • @notmytype8158
    @notmytype8158 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    EP here and this made me chuckle

  • @punchface3000
    @punchface3000 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    I really struggle with this, and its quite depressing that I will always have this hiccup with people as an ENTJ.

  • @practicalpersonality
    @practicalpersonality 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    It’s not that I’m ST, it’s because I’m from Germany. 😆
    Honestly, realizing that my Decider fears come from within me was a huge game changer for slowly gaining control over it.

  • @elainecary2884
    @elainecary2884 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    God i am such a decider. It's crazy to realize that after thinking I was an "INFJ" since I was 16 lol.

  • @jankom.7783
    @jankom.7783 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    IJ people problems: I have to make sure, that people feel right way, so they do their work, so I do not have to. Because I am responsible for getting stuff done. I do not need to be liked, respected, or appreciated. Just whatever that is, that makes them do their work properly.
    Also, EJ problems:
    ENJs: Si emotions. Being scared, embarrassed, nervous, ashamed. But, I guess, people react to their emotions, but nobody tells them. As an INTJ, I have the same problem, but I understand, that it is happening. What I missed is Fe people feeling "left out" of all this emotions. And feeling humbled by lack of it towards them.
    ESJs: Ni problems. To feel not "impressive". Physically weak, poor, ugly, not dressed properly. But their problem is, that they keep unknowingly force people into stuff (bad Ni)

  • @bills1967
    @bills1967 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Please tell the IPs that others are talking behind their back. I won’t realize it and have had friends tell me things and I really appreciate it. You won’t look like the bad guy if you tell us, you’ll look like one by hiding that information. 😂

  • @martinparigini
    @martinparigini 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Awesome explanation

  • @sylviefeyereisen5528
    @sylviefeyereisen5528 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

    Wow when you explained that EJ & IP s are more or less the same in their deciders swings i just saw my Isfp mom and my Enfj sister lol. And me double decider isfj having a laugh 😂 but my introvert me can get bothered and thrigered by people also. Brrr

  • @IndieAuthorX
    @IndieAuthorX 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    Gary Oldman also looks kind of scared in an mDe way. I personally thought he was a visual INFP. David Bowie like. (Not saying he is, just that this was my guess years ago)

  • @dominicrincker8280
    @dominicrincker8280 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This got boring but rlly helped and brought so much together thank u😂

  • @1mag1nat1vename
    @1mag1nat1vename 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    In America, we invented the comedy roast and the "yo mama" joke. American kids have to find a way to deal with people joking about us from the day we enter school.
    I have had to work in an environment where anyone could feel offended at something I said and make that my problem, so I only let my guard down around people to the extent that they can take a joke at their own expence.
    I'm less familiar with being "very British" but I know that an American has to be able to "take a joke" and to "give as good as they get"

  • @loonadeux
    @loonadeux 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Gary OLDMAN. Omg

  • @Heart.headed
    @Heart.headed 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    People, or, Things.
    What about: Places & Ideas?
    In my experience, when "sh!t comes to shove," people will "freak out" over any of those-doesn't necessarily have to do with one or the other.
    Where's the nuance?
    🤔
    (Think: Consume, Play, Blast, Sleep. We *could* "narrow those down" to 2. But, that would not account for: nuance 😉)
    Edit: *"They're not reviews, they're TH-cam Comments!"*
    *Exactly* 🎯
    He's "freaking out" (albeit, in Humourous form) over the *Idea.*
    PS
    Happy Thanksgiving ya'll!
    Please don't go freaking out over all the ideas in your minds about where the what's & when's are supposed to be.
    Enjoy The Process... Celebrate The Goal.
    Stay Beautiful, you frisky~freaks!
    💪🏼😎

    • @arwuh
      @arwuh 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Places and ideas count as things. Single deciders feel most nervous about being judged. A place or idea cannot judge a person. However, a single observer will be nervous about being stuck in the wrong place or being stuck with the wrong idea.

    • @Heart.headed
      @Heart.headed 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @arwuh
      I understand what you're saying, & see why you'd say it. And, to the degree we would lump sleep/consume & blast/play together as 2, I would incline to agree.
      However, I would encourage anyone to entertain the same type of nuance in S/C/B/P, & consider the same type of formula/idea for the Nouns (People, Thing's, Places, Ideas) category. Yeah. Someone's this (say, (S)) right now... but How/When/Why/On Who do they *actually* push back on? *Do* they actually push back? Why/When not? Same for the Nouns. Will someone first fight *for* their loved ones (Person) over an Idea? Or, first fight their loved one's, over an Idea (&/or Place~The trip; to Italy, or Hawa'ii?/Thing-the dog/cat/new corvette/lexus...etc...etc...)???
      Further, I work in the healthcare world (& have always been involved in somatics, in one way or another). If you actually sincerely believe that ideas & places cannot harm a person, then I would say you've never either dealt with, nor personally know someone who deals with debilitating anxiety, addiction, & depression...(etc.)... The sheer Idea of something leaves some people feeling paralyzed (for a time being). We can argue/debate/share Ideas about why (etc) until the cats come home. We can ignore the podcast & TED & talk show format Phenomenon of the last decade or so... Ignore Comedic Outline & Depression numbers, but at the end of the day, there have been, are, & will always be Visionary type People. People who prioritize Ideas (over all). People don't read Fantasy/Science Fantasy books to ineract with things or people. They wanna be with their own Ideas of how people would most likely be, in *their* world. There's obviously those insanely influential counter culture/rebel movements, which they call: "Ideologies."
      Wars begin with ideas (about who should & shouldn't hold which ideas about all those places, people, & thing's).
      Art/Culture/Design/Change, all, begin with Idea(s); Visions/Imagination/Concepts/Principles (etc).
      To me, that's a WAY bigger deal than places, people, & things (in that exact order).
      Similarly, there are people who, as a standard, obsess over places; perhaps looking forward to the journey (itself)...being in their heads (S) while simultaneously absorbing (C) the visual.
      Maaayyybe they'll meet a person (P), and share their Stories (B) about all the places the've been... And brainstorm over their ideas...maybe even argue &/or embrace over a few (of those ideas).
      I dunno.
      I could be wrong, of course.
      That's what I gather(ed) from all these folks (throughout the years) 🤷🏻.
      Thanks (for sharing your Ideas 😊).
      Peace.

  • @PowerRedBullTypology
    @PowerRedBullTypology 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    "Everybody hates me" is such an unrealistic point of view that it seems unlikely that a Ti dominant is ever going to think that, since it goes against basic logic. It's just as unrealistic as 'everybody loves me'. I do however, think some FI doms have expressed similar things to me about "everybody hating them" (but I do not know if they meant that, but if we assume they did). As far as I had the impression of others' opinion about me in school or such,it was mostly that I felt that most people did not really knew anything about me, because I was relatively quiet in school unless around the right people.

    • @Krisenaa
      @Krisenaa 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +17

      As a typed Ti-dom, you'd be surprised at what goes through my head on a daily basis. Thinking everyone hates you is not about logic, it's about emotion, and everyone has them - especially in the swing state.

    • @LexaLite
      @LexaLite 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You be surprised, Ti doms have Fe inferior. Fe inferior is what and who makes Ti doms go into the whiney baby "everyone hates me"
      It's actually pretty integral to the Ti dom personality as a source of sometimes obvious insecurity to everyone else.
      I just think over the years Ti and the other functions one will have helps balance out that black and white thinking. But get to know a Ti dom intimately and you'd be surprised that what they will share as a problem is their honest upset at how they believe the tribe perceives them.

    • @fattysl26
      @fattysl26 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      I have a Ti dom friend and it also shows up in her being bothered about what people think of her and why people are acting a certain way towards her. Whereas, as a double decider, I don't give too much thought to it.

    • @d3vinette
      @d3vinette 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Just because you have a function as your lead, doesn't mean you are necessarily good at it. Ti in its simplest terms is "Things must make sense to me". That doesn't mean everything is always congruent internally. Just like Fe isn't always going to read the room appropriately, and Se won't always take in accurate facts from the sensory world. I/E is "this is personal/not personal to me".

    • @jasonwilkerson9497
      @jasonwilkerson9497 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yes! Me too. However, I've come to realize that since most are extraverts, my class and schoolmates could use their uncanny extraverted ways to know me already, or more than I think. I did play lots of sports growing up. I'm on FB with a lot of my elementary, middle, and high school mates and they've appreciated my humility as a younger person. However, as a 50 year old INFP male, I'd like to be more forthright with my genuine INFP qualities. Maybe moere like Mr. Rogers, than perfectionistic, rigid Te, Fi-Si loop. Lol.😊

  • @samiulanowar892
    @samiulanowar892 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Can a ExxP have social anxiety even though they are a observer? Observers shouldn't have people problem but social anxiety is a people problem. I have seen lot of ENxP to have social anxiety, awkwardness and nervousness. They are Social but they are awkward while socialising.

    • @SistoActivitatemAtm
      @SistoActivitatemAtm 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      No they aren't allowed

    • @PowerRedBullTypology
      @PowerRedBullTypology 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I think ENP's are often kind of nervous around people, yet try to act sort of in a way that is best described as nonchalance and try to make some jokes or be witty. But you can sense they are still kind of uncomfortable. At least, that is my impression observing them. IP's just tend to get quiet if they are not comfortable.
      I think sensors in general worry a bit less than intuitive people in general, because intuition tries to read into things and thus is a less straight forward function.
      I find the more external a function, the more confident people are the in immediate environment I think. Both Te and Se are very externally orientated. They read the least into things, whereas Ni and Fi read the most into things (most internal, subjective etc)
      Anyway, just some thoughts!.

    • @basic-decaf
      @basic-decaf 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Of course they can have "social" anxiety, but when you dive deep, it might actually be anxiety related to something that isn't social, yet often happens during social situations.. ENxPs can really fixate on things in the physical environment/their own body/details that don't add up, and ESxPs can fixate on making sense of/interpreting the right meaning of different things/ideas/other people's words/intentions.
      At work, we have an ENTP that is always the first to comment on/raise the alarm on weird smells/sounds in the building, which makes him anxious. We also have two ESFPs that both get a lot of anxiety when people are being sarcastic with them or asking them to make guesses/jump to conclusions.

  • @nternetrat
    @nternetrat 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    3:43 DAMN that was kinda mean !!

  • @kindedge
    @kindedge 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Brill

  • @mf4649
    @mf4649 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    The About Me of Objective Personality’s TH-cam page: “Our information is incomplete, and we are only sharing our opinions at this time.” Along with the ironic implications of a TH-cam channel that uses no reliable and valid methodologies for typology/statistical analyses referring to themselves as “objective” in their title, this excerpt is an excessive amount of icing on the irony cake.

    • @LAMEZ_
      @LAMEZ_ 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ladies and gentlemen, Mr Megamind right there

    • @mf4649
      @mf4649 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      We’ve also got a very special treat for you, ladies and gentlemen! Please, give a warm welcome to the unoriginal internet troll with a single digit IQ, LAMEZ_!

    • @mf4649
      @mf4649 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@LAMEZ_ We also have a special treat for you today, ladies and gentlemen! Please, give a warm welcome to the internet troll with a single digit IQ and penchant for vapid insults, LAMEZ_!

    • @mf4649
      @mf4649 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@LAMEZ_ The first four letters of your username accurately describes your comment

    • @LAMEZ_
      @LAMEZ_ 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@mf4649and the first 2 of yours aswell😁
      damn, bro really gave me a free assist😭

  • @aleks0_o879
    @aleks0_o879 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

    what's the fat guys type? im guessing ESFP

    • @LAMEZ_
      @LAMEZ_ 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      the fat guys🤣🤣🤣🤣 cmon bro…

    • @rhysowens1
      @rhysowens1 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Yeah 😂 , James is Se/Te

  • @CognitiveFrontier
    @CognitiveFrontier 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Dave needed to make his own system to qualify as an introvert and it still isn’t convincing.

    • @arwuh
      @arwuh 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      He doesn't "qualify as an introvert". He is an extrovert and he mentions it a lot. He made "his own system" in order to account for all the different traits he was observing in the thousands of people he has watched. If socionists did that, they would end up with the same system themselves.

    • @CognitiveFrontier
      @CognitiveFrontier 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@arwuh He classifies himself as sleep first, which by definition makes his leading function introverted and this him an introvert.
      Unless of course he’s SB/P(C) in which case it would make him extraverted only in a technical sense, but it’s far more likely that he is merely a socially introverted Te dom (which Socionics does indeed account for. After all, the animals are just renamed applications of long-existing socionics dichotomies)

    • @arwuh
      @arwuh 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @CognitiveFrontier I had thought that socionics only had 16 types - my mistake. Dave is an extroverted INTJ in any case.

    • @KayKayBayForever
      @KayKayBayForever 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@CognitiveFrontierHe is SB/P(C)

    • @drwizarrd4421
      @drwizarrd4421 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ?? How is Dave an extrovert?