Hi friends! Thanks for all the comments and positive feedback on this video! I'm so happy this has resonated with you and made a positive impact on your life, that really is my main goal. If you liked this, check out my latest new video on rewiring your thoughts to feel more beautiful!! th-cam.com/video/jjNqk15f1f8/w-d-xo.html
Because they are. Philosophically, it shouldn't matter. But practically? People will always be nicer to you if you are good looking. No matter what gender you are. It makes living easier and more comfortable. That's why we all chase external beauty. It helps ease the difficulty of daily living
@@askask7468I get that but sometimes I feel like it can only get you so far. I see people who aren’t conventionally attractive get more attention than more attractive people sometimes. The reason is because they’re very charming and confident. I also believed looks were all that mattered but I see time and time again that it’s not always the case
beauty procedures scare me because more and more people are looking the same, that’s crazy, but also very hard not to fall in the spiral of thoughts of how you’re not “pretty”
We live in a patriarchal world where women are put in competition that we have no choice but to participate in. If we do not want to participate in this race, we get punished socially for not fitting the beauty standards, while watching other women getting rewarded for playing the game. But when we do decide that we want to get in on the privilege because we are tired of being invisible, we get called shallow. We truly cannot win. The truth of the matter is, as a woman, people mostly see our humanity through beauty, so when we’re ugly, mostly no one gives a fuck us, and we have to work so hard to just be seen. So to be called “shallow” because you want to make a positive change in your life by investing in your beauty in a slap in the face. You’re all hypocrites because at the end of the day, most of you that say “beauty doesn’t matter” will go on and perpetuate lookism in your daily lives. So until that changes, the only thing that is shallow and meaningless is your comment.
Let's not tear down other women for wanting to be pretty. They aren't less human, less smart, for spending time beautifying themselves. Wearing make-up or getting joy from putting together outfits doesn't make you shallow. The problem comes from society making women feel like they HAVE to enjoy those things, that they are feminine requirements, that being pretty makes you better than other people. We need to work on unpacking our conditioning to be in competition with other women. Tearing down a pretty woman doesn't solve the issue. We can all be whole people together, whether we spend time on our looks or not.
@@artbyhollybee4072I’d like to politely disagree with this. The commenter doesn’t mean that pretty women are shallow or vain. Some women love to get dressed up, do their hair, get their nails done all that stuff. And that’s fine, go for it. But it’s when their appearance becomes all they desire, all they value in themselves or in others - THATS what being vain is. It’s not “bringing down women”. And while I understand it can for sure be used in this way, I think the core definition of vanity is what the commenter means. For example, if someone was to choose friends based on their attractiveness rather than personality THATS vain and shallow. And that doesn’t just apply to women. Don’t mean any offence whatsoever :)
Taking a 6 month break from social media, I had to unplug . I’m trying to be more mindful, spending quality time with friends & family… making healthy choices like staying hydrated, eating yummy foods, moving my body. I’m the only person in charge of my own happiness, it’s not external achievements, but internal
Men are getting pressure to look good too. "The pressure to putting on deodorant" comment is so dismissive. Are you really that blind to online influence? Guys feel pressure to be a certain height, be ripped from the gym, have clear skin, go to barber, have nice teeth, good jawline etc. Unattractive guys feel invisible and have less support systems than women. Why less support? Because people like you exist.
@@Takikifor many men yes but for some others they do actually care about how they look!😮 and they feel like their body is bad or they are too short or even that they’re bald and need hair transplant and many other things.. definitely not as what women feels but we shouldn’t underestimate that they think about males beauty standards too.
I love drawing portraits, and my favorite part of it is finding beauty in everyone’s face - especially those who might not be considered conventionally attractive. Now I just do this naturally with people I see around. I understand why “you don’t have to be pretty” can be liberating for some, but for me it’s more about expanding my definition of pretty and the joy of discovering beauty everywhere that makes me feel confident and secure in my own looks. I say this as someone who has absolutely struggled with this my whole life and this mindset has been a game changer for years.
I'm a professional mermaid performer. I was at a gig this weekend and saw all of my heavy wrinkles after the event (from age, makeup settling, dry skin and dehydration) and began thinking "I am so ugly! Maybe I should get fillers?" My sister and I chatted about the whole filler thing for a while and both agrees that we know it is the wrong thing to do, but there is so much pressure to look young forever that we feel like we need to do it. And we both agreed that that's ridiculous and sad that we feel so pressured to fight what's natural with something that's potentially dangerous JUST to look a certain way. I wish we could celebrate aging as something beautiful too.
I’ve been feeling this way for so long!! Especially as a 18 year old girl. I literally had to delete tiktok and instagram. Thank you for speaking up about this, we are way more than what we look like
omg im the exact same and i havent met anyone else like it. Im 16 and i deleted both tiktok and instagram because they were so absolutly draining and made me feel so ugly when im really not. it normalizes this filler-face look and tells us that this is whats beautiful and its so heartbreaking seeing all of the girls around me bend over backwards just to look "pretty" and then still not feel pretty enough. i have always thought "what about just being ugly?" i feel like we are SO forced to be beautiful even with movements that try to do the opposite like "all bodies are beautiful" but what if they arent? what if its an ugly body that is talented in so many other ways? why do we only care that its beautiful? and dont even get me started on anti aging products haha
I have wanted a nose job since i could even think of the concept, i even went for a consultation once. But i have decided recently that im not going to. My nose works just fine so it doesnt matter what it looks like bc I am beautiful regardless. Thank you for making this video♡
I’m of Middle Eastern origin, and my nose is hooked with the signature “bump.” Ever since I was a child, my mom would tell me that when I was sixteen, I could get a nose job (because that’s how old she was when she got hers). It’s normal and expected in my family to get one. But even though I never liked my nose, I always refused wanting a nose job, because I’m against having unnecessary medical procedures done, and because, I argued, this is the nose God gave me. I still don’t love my nose and probably never will, but the older I get, the more upset I am at the fact that it was taken for granted that I’d want to surgically alter my face to conform to modern beauty standards. I’ve also noticed that, as the people who got nose jobs age, their noses don’t quite look right with the rest of their features. Our noses were made to suit our faces, and there’s something inherently beautiful about a face in which all of the features are in harmony. I don’t know you, but I’m proud of you for being strong and going against the grain by not getting your nose altered. The next generation of little girls will grow up seeing more women with diverse nose shapes, and that’s its own kind of beautiful.
@laurenbashoura9575 you are so right. I am proud of you as well. It's hard to go against something that is so normalized these days, especially when there is pressure from your family. But there is so much beauty in individually, and I'm so happy you see that💕
yeah😭lately i’ve been feeling rlly down on how i look. even tho i know that it isn’t a big deal at the end of the day, it still drills in my head. ty for speaking about this. ❤️
This is so important. I saw something years ago that said “pretty is not the rent you pay to exist in the world as a woman” and it’s stuck with me. You don’t owe anyone beauty. I’m exactly as susceptible to the messages around needing to be pretty as anyone else and there are things about my appearance I genuinely don’t like. I am working on the things that I don’t like and that has helped my confidence. But nothing has boosted my confidence and helped me like myself more than a) therapy and b) deciding that I’m going to act like the person I want to be and screw anyone who doesn’t like it. I used to stop people taking photos of me because I didn’t like the way I looked in them. Now, I let them and even though I still don’t like the way I look, I just remind myself that I get to exist and take up space regardless of how I look and who doesn’t like it, even if that person is me. And the changes I make to my appearance are nice but you’re right; they add to me they’r but they’re not actually me. The same way the things I don’t like about my appearance aren’t actually me. Thank you for this video. It’s so well articulated and so important to talk about.
I really enjoyed this video. It's crazy how everyone is losing themselves to social networks; we're not even in the industry, as you said. These days, being pretty is so frustrating. At one point, I felt like being pretty was the only way to achieve happiness in this world, but now I don't want to be just pretty in my life. When I was truly happy, I never wanted to be prettier. Now, I just take care of myself and trust myself. The rest doesn't matter. I don't even enjoy being pretty just to be perceived as pretty. The people you surround yourself with will influence you physically, and this makes things worse. I do not recommend it. If you notice you have a feeling like this, just stay away from people who bring you down. I recommend ignoring everything and just trusting yourself. Do whatever you like to build your own identity: spend your energy doing your hobbies, enjoy new things, learn something new, and be open to finding your place in the world. I'm doing this, and my guide is literally my younger self.
Its sad that women are compared to other women who have had many surgeries and unhealthy eating habits and are celebrities that have the time and money to spend on their looks. The saddest part is for many women, looking pretty to society is a survival tactic. You are more likely to get a good job and have more opportunities in life and be treated well by others if you are conventionally attractive, which means that many women feel very pressured to enhance their looks. Its difficult to be yourself in a world that equates your value to how good you look to the average man.
Because society objectifies, not just women, but everyone. That's why men want to get toned and get muscles and not look fat and short. That's why women are pressured to look pretty and thin or curvy (depending on the current climate), and that's why children are also pressured to look a certain way or compared to their siblings when they aren't the "pretty twin". With vision being our main sense, it's one of the ways we ascribe value to people. It does suck, but I'm just telling you how it is.
i think its disingenuous to imply that women and men have equal playing field in whats expected of us beauty wise (and other areas of life too) also its a little condescending to say 'i am telling you how it is' on a video literally titled 'you don't have to be pretty' the creator knows this.
my problem is it’s not as simple as deleting instagram 😭 tiktok is somehow even worse because it’s impossible to get famous without being pretty and having good style. i’m barely on there anymore but even then it’s influence from pinterest and youtube. showing me idealized lives with polished wardrobes and perfect skin. i’m so tired of it but idk what to do. tired of constantly feeling inferior
I've never feel that I'm pretty but I won't be lying, I feel my life is a lot easier when I put effort into my appearance. There's a difference of how people treat me when I put my makeup or not, especially when I interact with men. They're nicer, help me more, they acknowledge me. I used to be invisible and no matter how much effort I put out, people wouldn't look at me, but when I get prettier, they notice all of those things I did. It's hard to change those mindset when you've experienced or saw this things.
Girl same. I’ll admit, I do have naturally feminine features and get attention even when I don’t do too much but still it’s not even fun anymore. It feels like a job before the job
I left Instagram 8 months ago because I felt like I wouldn't be seen as hot if I didn't post photos which were "conventionally" attractive. I lost tremendous weight after my so-called "situation" breakup. & I still clicked photos and got huge popularity because of my slim waist which I still don't know what the hype is about? It feels so pressured for me to be my unique self anymore but I'm getting their trying to push off any need to get validation on my physical appearance.
You’ve made me realize and gave me proportion about what a truly beauty means.we are all so different from each other that we will never look exactly the same and that’s what so special and beautiful about us thank you so much really, i feel so much better ❤
I have struggled all my life with this topic 45 yrs and I just want to thank u for your video this video has helped me your such a blessing so is this video. Plan on sharing this to my daughters 🩵💜🩷❤️thank you 😊I feeling free after watching this and lighter
I needed this so bad! Being obsessed with “being pretty” and being living unhappy because of it. Thank so much, needed to hear it from someone else ❤ i hope we all become happy, accept and love ourselves just the way we are 💖
The way you explained and unraveled something I didn’t have the questioning or awareness to articulate but consumed much of my life is so transformative. Your choice of words and passion and genuine concern of guys let’s wake up! Look at what is happening to us! Is really making me open my eyes and I feel really grateful and kismet in getting this video and hearing your resistance. You are so smart. if my kid ever asks me about their looks I hope I can comfort them the way this comforted me
I have started to accept that i dont mind not being popular as i hate getting too much attention but i will do my skin care, eat fruits and veggies, get sleep, shave and pluck and laser my body hair because thats how i feel better in myself. I'm starting to do it for myself and finding ways where I feel like my best self half of the time, and you know what? I have noticed some people will dislike this and some will admire you for it and be so inspired by you. Its interesting how people see things differently.
Thank you for the reminder 😊 it's true that beauty obsession is taking us away from other things that makes us beautiful... Beauty is so much deeper than that
You said so many meaningful words in this video and I actually got so emotional. Your words were like a breath of fresh air and a hug from you to me. I love this video so much I’ve gained new insights and perspectives, thank you so much for this video ❤
I’m so insecure ….. and it’s been years I just don’t know what to do now and I’m trying….. everytime I step out and see beautiful women I can’t help but envy them …. How I wish I could look half as good as them and honestly stopping this mindset is hard 💔
u just gained a subscriber and girl lemme tell you you are so pretty and i just clicked on the video just to see you and guess what gained some advices too ahahah
Omg girl thank you so much for this I relate so much I was just in south of France and my trip got ruined because I felt so not pretty in any pics and can’t stop comparing myself with those girls that are full of botox and surgery! Being naturally beautiful seems to be not the norme anymore and I feel so sad but I don’t feel like butchering myself for it can we normalize natural beauty again! ( and I’m really not ugly I get hit on all the time but I feel like I’m not attractive enough because I don’t have plastic surgery)
That is why I love Doves advertising campaigns, where they are bringing awareness and knowledge to girls and woman around the world what true beauty is and what you see on social media and being told by society is bull💩. Your beauty is your own. This is how you were born. Thrive in it. Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise. Great video. I hope it reaches out to the rest of the population.
After overthinking about my body features I've concluded that it's more important what you can do with your body rather than how it looks. It really is more fulfilling and rewarding to look at what your body is capable of doing rather than to worry about how fat or thin your tummy is
I'm trying to recover from an eating disorder and throw away this mindset of wanting to be beautiful. Lately, I feel like I'm experiencing an almost existential-like crisis - because for the past five or so years my core value was being beautiful. Now that I have thrown that away I don't know what to do, quite literally. For, in other words I have thrown away my identity (embarrassing but the truth). Who AM I without the goal of being skinny and beautiful? I hate that I've spent all my teenage years on trying to get prettier and relying all my self worth on beauty. And knowing that so many girls in their teen years and 20s fall into this hole makes me hurt.
I would have to listen to this at least 4 times a day because my thoughts agree but my belief systems don't and it's so hard to unlearn everything about looks. I heard I'm pretty and beautiful all my life and I always wanted to hear I'm funny and smart. But unfortunately people put more value on looks for women so even if people thought I'm funny or smart they wouldn't comment on it because why would they, it's not as valued. I am constantly working for being beautiful and I want to have a balance, I don't want to be that in my top priorities. If you made more videos like this or about how to care less about looks it would be appreciated. Thank you for this video
I put so much unnecessary pressure and stress on myself because of this. It’s truly draining and sad and I cannot keep living this way. I am going to continue to try and try so hard to get this mentality out of my head. It’s so hard to stop it but I won’t let this burden win. Thank you for this video and explaining this concept so well 🫶🏽
Love how you’re leaving out the “no one will love you if you’re unattractive” part. It’s very rare for anyone to acknowledge you as a person if you don’t fit the beauty standard, especially for women. You either conform, or get left behind. There’s no other choice.
this desire might vanish with age, too. Cause honestly, I have a very detailed view on beauty. And I might as well just enjoy the moment more than thinking about posing in a photo that I don‘t look good in anyways in a few year maybe. But also anging hasn‘t ever been hated so much like nowadays it‘s crazy
WOW this video is actually so eye-opening and inspiring, for the past few days I, myself had been wondering why the way we look matters so much in our lives? like it's just a very small part of our lives, and it def should not be the only thing that matters to us and this video just made me realize the same thing💖💖,,,,,,,,Remember guys life is all about how u feel and what u do not about how u LOOK
I love the idea of following people who look like you. I catch myself comparing myself to the girls who look much closer to conventionally pretty but girls who have my same body type I think are so beautiful
I’ve been having such a rough time recently and nagged about my looks just a few hours before this was recommended to me. Thank you for uploading this ❤ it helped me to question the way I think about myself
Girl I like everything about this video😭❤️ I’ve never heard something so true !! I heard u say that u was not into religion so much but I just want to say that so many examples that u have come up with resonates with the islamic concept of beauty and the hijab❤️ I litteraly felt that ❤️ as a muslim women. Powerful message.
Hey Maham. I'm a British born Afghan Muslim girl. I've learnt to love myself. One of my favourite books is Beauty Sick. It really helped me re-define what beauty meant. I followed a youtuber (her name is Marah Snoubar) who sort of looked a bit like me in terms of how her nose was shaped and she wasn't super skinny. Now she got a nose job and she wears super tight clothing. I was disappointed and so unfollowed but other girls may be influenced by it. Alhamdulillah I accept the way Allah (SWT) created me.
Absolutely! It's like when a billionaire tells you that they don't care about money. People treat you worse when you're ugly, no matter how messed up that is. You CAN just not care, but it'll be an added obstacle for just about every human interaction you have, and unless you're naturally attractive, all the people like this influencer now have it easier since you stopped caring.
Thank you for taking the time to share this very important message ❤ Ladies- your worth doesn’t revolve around your physical appearance. Your beauty radiates from your soul ❤
this is so good. it's how i thought as a kid but living life, learning how other people think and absorbing their thought processes made me forget it. thanks for the reminder
Another thing is being conventionally attractive or pretty is bit as common as we think. We seem multiple beautiful women because those are who get media traction but it’s rare to walk out on the street and be attracted to even half the people we see. It’s important to remind ourselves that conventional beauty isn’t something everyone else but I have. These women are called beautiful because they stand out amongst the crowd. If they had regular features they wouldn’t be something we’ve been mani😢into wanting to look like.
I feel like you haven't said much of what I haven't already heard before but the way you explained it was freaking groundbreaking. I need to re-watch this once a month as a form of self care
I've finished the video now and that point you made of a picture of a sunset not doing it justice is like 🤯 that's gonna be my new phrase for now on. "That picture didn't do me justice!" And move on with life
Hi I'm glad youtube recommended this video, I never was a huge fan of chasing beauty and fit into beauty standards, I never tried too hard, maybe because I knew I can never look like my peers cause well I'm from a different nation so it's no use trying But since I'm just a girl I have my bad days when I look at the mirror and only see flaws These days I feel better about myself in overall and I feel pretty cause I know I just look Ok when I take care of myself. And I feel so bad that everyone around me must have insecurities about ther looks when they look just fine. I noticed that I find people prettier if I know that they are a good person, the more I love them the more I see their beauty in every little wrinkle and look and smile And in reverse if I meet somebody who looks beautiful but their behaviour is ugly then I start see them as ugly from the outside as well. Ofcourse there are celebrities and etc. Who I will see beautiful even if they are bad person but inner beauty means more than looks. It would be so cool If more people would accept their natural looks💘😚
Recently I’ve kind of given up on tryning to make myself be pretty, like doing make up and just generally caring about how I look. And I feel so light. There was a time when I genuinely would not know what to do if I was considered ugly and that just made life so much less enjoyable. I have my good friends, I’m doing well in school, I am doing the activity that I enjoy and I feel good about myself without having to feel pretty
Thank you for talking about this. I say this all the time and I’m usually told to stop being insecure and to stop hating women and I’m just like 🧍🏻♀️ when did I say either of those things. Lil me used to starve myself when I should’ve been playing outside and having another cupcake. We fight these demons and why? To be pretty? At this moment, I do have the time for that. I have a life to live.
Thank you for posting this! It resonated with me so much and I totally agree with everything you said, let’s have real conversations like this to make a change and truly be happy🤍
I’ve always felt a like people look at me crazy when I say this, but I’ve never understood why the materials and fibers that make our clothes and the way they are shaped, the colors, patterns, etc, makes such a difference in how we are perceived and defined. I understand there is a time and place for things, but the point I’m making is that we chose these arrangements of chemicals, materials, fibers, etc to alter ourselves and if done a certain way at a certain time, you could be seen as beautiful. I know it sounds “out there” but I’ve always just wondered why these external things impacted so greatly how our internal feels and is viewed.
I never usually comment on yt but you just shared so many nuggets of wisdom that I had to do it! You have so much value and knowledge about this topic that I think you’d be able to run a successful business today, just saying 😉 keep it up! ❤
Truly thank you thank you thank you!!!!! I really benefited from this!!! Such an amazing video!!! I’m grateful to god to have stumbled upon such a beautiful reminder for myself and everyone else!!! ❤
I couldn't be more pleased and down rightthankful to see this. I'm far older than you and have struggled all my life with trying to ensure I measure up to the so called standard of attractiveness, pretty, hot, whatever we name this deviation from the real meaning within each one of us. Of course humans will admire beauty of the visual type but as you so rightly point out, of the far importance is who we are inside and it's expression. As we transition through life, not only will the referred prettiness standard and asthetic change, but we ourselves will be at varied distances to it...And even if we are able to become the wanted and mostly elusive state we seek,, the goals will forever be shifting. If not due to fashions, due to mother time. Yet young, old, or between the two, we turn ourselves into wilting and dying versions of the wonder that we hold within us at any one time. Often we ignore pursuits that could truly shine and honestly fulfill us, now and for the long haul. As pretty as we acan ever be. we will all lose our bloom if it is a blossom laden with this particular need. Important....indeed. And you, lovely human, are certainly beautiful in all definitions of the word. But especially in the way you describe, for starting the conversation, may it be heard this time around.
![ตีสิบเดย์ [FULL] | เปิดใจ "อาจารย์ เบียร์ ฅนตื่นธรรม" นักสนทนาธรรมสายดุดัน!](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/vqaBI_mnoDk/mqdefault.jpg)
Hi friends! Thanks for all the comments and positive feedback on this video! I'm so happy this has resonated with you and made a positive impact on your life, that really is my main goal. If you liked this, check out my latest new video on rewiring your thoughts to feel more beautiful!!
th-cam.com/video/jjNqk15f1f8/w-d-xo.html
Hijab
"im not pretty enough "
enough for whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat
Exactly ❤😂
I love this
Enough for men to notice me
To be considered a worthy human being ☹️😞
@@CarolaTesla Your an alien ? I wanna be one too!
Amazing!!! It’s so sad how us women are made to feel like our physical looks are the most important thing
agreed!!
Patriarchy in a nutshell
Because they are. Philosophically, it shouldn't matter. But practically? People will always be nicer to you if you are good looking. No matter what gender you are. It makes living easier and more comfortable. That's why we all chase external beauty. It helps ease the difficulty of daily living
@@askask7468I get that but sometimes I feel like it can only get you so far. I see people who aren’t conventionally attractive get more attention than more attractive people sometimes. The reason is because they’re very charming and confident. I also believed looks were all that mattered but I see time and time again that it’s not always the case
It's mostly women that make other women feel like that. Accountability as a group and as individuals is the first step to betterment
beauty procedures scare me because more and more people are looking the same, that’s crazy, but also very hard not to fall in the spiral of thoughts of how you’re not “pretty”
Yup, everyone have the same strawberry blonde hair.
It’s like “shallow” has been a forgotten insult but it’s more valid than ever.
yupp
We live in a patriarchal world where women are put in competition that we have no choice but to participate in. If we do not want to participate in this race, we get punished socially for not fitting the beauty standards, while watching other women getting rewarded for playing the game. But when we do decide that we want to get in on the privilege because we are tired of being invisible, we get called shallow. We truly cannot win. The truth of the matter is, as a woman, people mostly see our humanity through beauty, so when we’re ugly, mostly no one gives a fuck us, and we have to work so hard to just be seen. So to be called “shallow” because you want to make a positive change in your life by investing in your beauty in a slap in the face. You’re all hypocrites because at the end of the day, most of you that say “beauty doesn’t matter” will go on and perpetuate lookism in your daily lives. So until that changes, the only thing that is shallow and meaningless is your comment.
THISSSSSSSSS
Let's not tear down other women for wanting to be pretty. They aren't less human, less smart, for spending time beautifying themselves. Wearing make-up or getting joy from putting together outfits doesn't make you shallow. The problem comes from society making women feel like they HAVE to enjoy those things, that they are feminine requirements, that being pretty makes you better than other people. We need to work on unpacking our conditioning to be in competition with other women. Tearing down a pretty woman doesn't solve the issue. We can all be whole people together, whether we spend time on our looks or not.
@@artbyhollybee4072I’d like to politely disagree with this. The commenter doesn’t mean that pretty women are shallow or vain. Some women love to get dressed up, do their hair, get their nails done all that stuff. And that’s fine, go for it. But it’s when their appearance becomes all they desire, all they value in themselves or in others - THATS what being vain is. It’s not “bringing down women”. And while I understand it can for sure be used in this way, I think the core definition of vanity is what the commenter means. For example, if someone was to choose friends based on their attractiveness rather than personality THATS vain and shallow. And that doesn’t just apply to women. Don’t mean any offence whatsoever :)
Taking a 6 month break from social media, I had to unplug . I’m trying to be more mindful, spending quality time with friends & family… making healthy choices like staying hydrated, eating yummy foods, moving my body. I’m the only person in charge of my own happiness, it’s not external achievements, but internal
gonna remember the last sentence! so true❤
Bravo sis🌸
I'm not the target audience for this video, but even as a man I struggle with this, too.
Y'all feeling the pressure to put deodorant on has nothing to do with us feeling the pressure to do cosmetic procedures
@@Takikithe struggles of others don’t invalidate yours. Everyone has the right to share and there’s no need to compare❤
This is fantastically honest. I'm sure there's a lot to love and admire in you. What's your favorite feature about yourself??,
Men are getting pressure to look good too. "The pressure to putting on deodorant" comment is so dismissive. Are you really that blind to online influence? Guys feel pressure to be a certain height, be ripped from the gym, have clear skin, go to barber, have nice teeth, good jawline etc. Unattractive guys feel invisible and have less support systems than women. Why less support? Because people like you exist.
@@Takikifor many men yes but for some others they do actually care about how they look!😮 and they feel like their body is bad or they are too short or even that they’re bald and need hair transplant and many other things.. definitely not as what women feels but we shouldn’t underestimate that they think about males beauty standards too.
I love drawing portraits, and my favorite part of it is finding beauty in everyone’s face - especially those who might not be considered conventionally attractive. Now I just do this naturally with people I see around. I understand why “you don’t have to be pretty” can be liberating for some, but for me it’s more about expanding my definition of pretty and the joy of discovering beauty everywhere that makes me feel confident and secure in my own looks. I say this as someone who has absolutely struggled with this my whole life and this mindset has been a game changer for years.
“I don't care to look pretty, I care to look on the outside how I look on the inside” was the first thing that came to my mind when i read the title
I'm a professional mermaid performer. I was at a gig this weekend and saw all of my heavy wrinkles after the event (from age, makeup settling, dry skin and dehydration) and began thinking "I am so ugly! Maybe I should get fillers?" My sister and I chatted about the whole filler thing for a while and both agrees that we know it is the wrong thing to do, but there is so much pressure to look young forever that we feel like we need to do it. And we both agreed that that's ridiculous and sad that we feel so pressured to fight what's natural with something that's potentially dangerous JUST to look a certain way.
I wish we could celebrate aging as something beautiful too.
i love how simplistic this video is. just you having a conversation with us, stating facts. no nonsense or click bait.
great message
I'm starting to gain this mindset of like not caring about being super pretty and its soo refreshing
I’ve been feeling this way for so long!! Especially as a 18 year old girl. I literally had to delete tiktok and instagram. Thank you for speaking up about this, we are way more than what we look like
omg im the exact same and i havent met anyone else like it. Im 16 and i deleted both tiktok and instagram because they were so absolutly draining and made me feel so ugly when im really not. it normalizes this filler-face look and tells us that this is whats beautiful and its so heartbreaking seeing all of the girls around me bend over backwards just to look "pretty" and then still not feel pretty enough. i have always thought "what about just being ugly?" i feel like we are SO forced to be beautiful even with movements that try to do the opposite like "all bodies are beautiful" but what if they arent? what if its an ugly body that is talented in so many other ways? why do we only care that its beautiful? and dont even get me started on anti aging products haha
I have wanted a nose job since i could even think of the concept, i even went for a consultation once. But i have decided recently that im not going to. My nose works just fine so it doesnt matter what it looks like bc I am beautiful regardless. Thank you for making this video♡
I’m of Middle Eastern origin, and my nose is hooked with the signature “bump.” Ever since I was a child, my mom would tell me that when I was sixteen, I could get a nose job (because that’s how old she was when she got hers). It’s normal and expected in my family to get one. But even though I never liked my nose, I always refused wanting a nose job, because I’m against having unnecessary medical procedures done, and because, I argued, this is the nose God gave me. I still don’t love my nose and probably never will, but the older I get, the more upset I am at the fact that it was taken for granted that I’d want to surgically alter my face to conform to modern beauty standards.
I’ve also noticed that, as the people who got nose jobs age, their noses don’t quite look right with the rest of their features. Our noses were made to suit our faces, and there’s something inherently beautiful about a face in which all of the features are in harmony. I don’t know you, but I’m proud of you for being strong and going against the grain by not getting your nose altered. The next generation of little girls will grow up seeing more women with diverse nose shapes, and that’s its own kind of beautiful.
@laurenbashoura9575 you are so right. I am proud of you as well. It's hard to go against something that is so normalized these days, especially when there is pressure from your family. But there is so much beauty in individually, and I'm so happy you see that💕
I'm not saying this to be kind but like you're very pretty , your face reminds me of a sunshine or rapunzel :)
( I'm so frl rn )
@doremigirl aww thank you☺️ that's so sweet♡
yeah😭lately i’ve been feeling rlly down on how i look. even tho i know that it isn’t a big deal at the end of the day, it still drills in my head. ty for speaking about this. ❤️
Oh my god I feel the same fellow cheesecake ❤️
This is so important. I saw something years ago that said “pretty is not the rent you pay to exist in the world as a woman” and it’s stuck with me. You don’t owe anyone beauty.
I’m exactly as susceptible to the messages around needing to be pretty as anyone else and there are things about my appearance I genuinely don’t like. I am working on the things that I don’t like and that has helped my confidence. But nothing has boosted my confidence and helped me like myself more than a) therapy and b) deciding that I’m going to act like the person I want to be and screw anyone who doesn’t like it. I used to stop people taking photos of me because I didn’t like the way I looked in them. Now, I let them and even though I still don’t like the way I look, I just remind myself that I get to exist and take up space regardless of how I look and who doesn’t like it, even if that person is me.
And the changes I make to my appearance are nice but you’re right; they add to me they’r but they’re not actually me. The same way the things I don’t like about my appearance aren’t actually me.
Thank you for this video. It’s so well articulated and so important to talk about.
I really enjoyed this video. It's crazy how everyone is losing themselves to social networks; we're not even in the industry, as you said. These days, being pretty is so frustrating. At one point, I felt like being pretty was the only way to achieve happiness in this world, but now I don't want to be just pretty in my life. When I was truly happy, I never wanted to be prettier. Now, I just take care of myself and trust myself. The rest doesn't matter. I don't even enjoy being pretty just to be perceived as pretty. The people you surround yourself with will influence you physically, and this makes things worse. I do not recommend it. If you notice you have a feeling like this, just stay away from people who bring you down. I recommend ignoring everything and just trusting yourself. Do whatever you like to build your own identity: spend your energy doing your hobbies, enjoy new things, learn something new, and be open to finding your place in the world. I'm doing this, and my guide is literally my younger self.
it's sad how looks can be a trend
This should go insanely viral
Its sad that women are compared to other women who have had many surgeries and unhealthy eating habits and are celebrities that have the time and money to spend on their looks. The saddest part is for many women, looking pretty to society is a survival tactic. You are more likely to get a good job and have more opportunities in life and be treated well by others if you are conventionally attractive, which means that many women feel very pressured to enhance their looks. Its difficult to be yourself in a world that equates your value to how good you look to the average man.
I agree
I'm trying to look better I'm scared of being treated badly especially in my job searching ☹️
Girl, why aren't you famous, you're amazing!
🥹🫶 thank you so much!
you're just a girl?
Because society objectifies, not just women, but everyone. That's why men want to get toned and get muscles and not look fat and short. That's why women are pressured to look pretty and thin or curvy (depending on the current climate), and that's why children are also pressured to look a certain way or compared to their siblings when they aren't the "pretty twin". With vision being our main sense, it's one of the ways we ascribe value to people. It does suck, but I'm just telling you how it is.
i think its disingenuous to imply that women and men have equal playing field in whats expected of us beauty wise (and other areas of life too) also its a little condescending to say 'i am telling you how it is' on a video literally titled 'you don't have to be pretty' the creator knows this.
@youtuber-cc8sx the patriarchy:(
@@kitty4638 I agree with you
Growing up somewhat pretty and then getting ugly has ruined my self esteem. It makes me sad for my younger self, I feel ashamed of what I’ve become.
my problem is it’s not as simple as deleting instagram 😭 tiktok is somehow even worse because it’s impossible to get famous without being pretty and having good style. i’m barely on there anymore but even then it’s influence from pinterest and youtube. showing me idealized lives with polished wardrobes and perfect skin. i’m so tired of it but idk what to do. tired of constantly feeling inferior
I've never feel that I'm pretty but I won't be lying, I feel my life is a lot easier when I put effort into my appearance. There's a difference of how people treat me when I put my makeup or not, especially when I interact with men. They're nicer, help me more, they acknowledge me. I used to be invisible and no matter how much effort I put out, people wouldn't look at me, but when I get prettier, they notice all of those things I did. It's hard to change those mindset when you've experienced or saw this things.
Just commenting to boost engagement so that more people can arrive here and receive this beautiful message ❤
@@peachicey thank you love 🫶🏼
Girl same. I’ll admit, I do have naturally feminine features and get attention even when I don’t do too much but still it’s not even fun anymore. It feels like a job before the job
I left Instagram 8 months ago because I felt like I wouldn't be seen as hot if I didn't post photos which were "conventionally" attractive. I lost tremendous weight after my so-called "situation" breakup. & I still clicked photos and got huge popularity because of my slim waist which I still don't know what the hype is about? It feels so pressured for me to be my unique self anymore but I'm getting their trying to push off any need to get validation on my physical appearance.
I love that you left instagram! I have been trying to do the same!
Put yourself first, prioritize yourself and your time. Remember, what you see on social media is not always true.
Omg THISSSSS 100%. Just focusing on having a good time, spending time with loved ones and just enjoying life! It's wayyyy too short.
You’ve made me realize and gave me proportion about what a truly beauty means.we are all so different from each other that we will never look exactly the same and that’s what so special and beautiful about us thank you so much really, i feel so much better ❤
I have struggled all my life with this topic 45 yrs and I just want to thank u for your video this video has helped me your such a blessing so is this video. Plan on sharing this to my daughters 🩵💜🩷❤️thank you 😊I feeling free after watching this and lighter
I needed this so bad! Being obsessed with “being pretty” and being living unhappy because of it. Thank so much, needed to hear it from someone else ❤ i hope we all become happy, accept and love ourselves just the way we are 💖
The way you explained and unraveled something I didn’t have the questioning or awareness to articulate but consumed much of my life is so transformative. Your choice of words and passion and genuine concern of guys let’s wake up! Look at what is happening to us! Is really making me open my eyes and I feel really grateful and kismet in getting this video and hearing your resistance. You are so smart. if my kid ever asks me about their looks I hope I can comfort them the way this comforted me
Thank you so much love I’m so happy this has been helpful 🫶🏼
Ugh. Every bit of this. I love how you articulated this.
This video is so perfect I genuinely hope more people would see it. You had me hooked at every word to the end
@@deodorant6909 thank you love 🫶🏼
You’re beautiful for this ❤️ awakening others back to life, back to smelling the roses, back to themselves.. the true beauty in this life ✨
I have started to accept that i dont mind not being popular as i hate getting too much attention but i will do my skin care, eat fruits and veggies, get sleep, shave and pluck and laser my body hair because thats how i feel better in myself. I'm starting to do it for myself and finding ways where I feel like my best self half of the time, and you know what? I have noticed some people will dislike this and some will admire you for it and be so inspired by you. Its interesting how people see things differently.
I'm loving how lately these types of self-help videos are being recommended to me ❤
Everyone is made in the image of God. We are all beautiful. God loves you❤
Thank you for the reminder 😊 it's true that beauty obsession is taking us away from other things that makes us beautiful... Beauty is so much deeper than that
as soon as the video began, i was like ur pretty
I didn't know how much I needed this, thank so much,God blesses you ❤
You said so many meaningful words in this video and I actually got so emotional. Your words were like a breath of fresh air and a hug from you to me. I love this video so much I’ve gained new insights and perspectives, thank you so much for this video ❤
I’m so insecure ….. and it’s been years I just don’t know what to do now and I’m trying….. everytime I step out and see beautiful women I can’t help but envy them …. How I wish I could look half as good as them and honestly stopping this mindset is hard 💔
Same
u just gained a subscriber and girl lemme tell you you are so pretty and i just clicked on the video just to see you and guess what gained some advices too ahahah
thank you love! 🫶
Omg girl thank you so much for this I relate so much I was just in south of France and my trip got ruined because I felt so not pretty in any pics and can’t stop comparing myself with those girls that are full of botox and surgery! Being naturally beautiful seems to be not the norme anymore and I feel so sad but I don’t feel like butchering myself for it can we normalize natural beauty again! ( and I’m really not ugly I get hit on all the time but I feel like I’m not attractive enough because I don’t have plastic surgery)
I am so happy you can relate to this!! It truly is so frustrating, especially when it gets in the way of our happiness
That is why I love Doves advertising campaigns, where they are bringing awareness and knowledge to girls and woman around the world what true beauty is and what you see on social media and being told by society is bull💩.
Your beauty is your own. This is how you were born. Thrive in it. Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.
Great video.
I hope it reaches out to the rest of the population.
After overthinking about my body features I've concluded that it's more important what you can do with your body rather than how it looks. It really is more fulfilling and rewarding to look at what your body is capable of doing rather than to worry about how fat or thin your tummy is
This has to be the best thing I’ve ever come across on the internet
I'm trying to recover from an eating disorder and throw away this mindset of wanting to be beautiful. Lately, I feel like I'm experiencing an almost existential-like crisis - because for the past five or so years my core value was being beautiful. Now that I have thrown that away I don't know what to do, quite literally. For, in other words I have thrown away my identity (embarrassing but the truth). Who AM I without the goal of being skinny and beautiful? I hate that I've spent all my teenage years on trying to get prettier and relying all my self worth on beauty. And knowing that so many girls in their teen years and 20s fall into this hole makes me hurt.
I would have to listen to this at least 4 times a day because my thoughts agree but my belief systems don't and it's so hard to unlearn everything about looks. I heard I'm pretty and beautiful all my life and I always wanted to hear I'm funny and smart. But unfortunately people put more value on looks for women so even if people thought I'm funny or smart they wouldn't comment on it because why would they, it's not as valued. I am constantly working for being beautiful and I want to have a balance, I don't want to be that in my top priorities. If you made more videos like this or about how to care less about looks it would be appreciated. Thank you for this video
You are so well-spoken! Your thoughts and the way you share them are very clear, thank you for this video
your insight on this subject is so complete, you made me perceive this matter differently now thank you!
This is so helpful thank you for this I'm a teenager and I'm 16 and I'm trying not to fall into peer pressure and it's very hard due to social media
I put so much unnecessary pressure and stress on myself because of this. It’s truly draining and sad and I cannot keep living this way. I am going to continue to try and try so hard to get this mentality out of my head. It’s so hard to stop it but I won’t let this burden win. Thank you for this video and explaining this concept so well 🫶🏽
Love how you’re leaving out the “no one will love you if you’re unattractive” part. It’s very rare for anyone to acknowledge you as a person if you don’t fit the beauty standard, especially for women. You either conform, or get left behind. There’s no other choice.
I love how firm and true you're speaking about this subject...loved it!
this desire might vanish with age, too. Cause honestly, I have a very detailed view on beauty. And I might as well just enjoy the moment more than thinking about posing in a photo that I don‘t look good in anyways in a few year maybe. But also anging hasn‘t ever been hated so much like nowadays it‘s crazy
WOW this video is actually so eye-opening and inspiring, for the past few days I, myself had been wondering why the way we look matters so much in our lives? like it's just a very small part of our lives, and it def should not be the only thing that matters to us and this video just made me realize the same thing💖💖,,,,,,,,Remember guys life is all about how u feel and what u do not about how u LOOK
needed to hear this today ❤ sending love to everyone
I love the idea of following people who look like you. I catch myself comparing myself to the girls who look much closer to conventionally pretty but girls who have my same body type I think are so beautiful
I’ve been having such a rough time recently and nagged about my looks just a few hours before this was recommended to me. Thank you for uploading this ❤ it helped me to question the way I think about myself
Girl I like everything about this video😭❤️ I’ve never heard something so true !! I heard u say that u was not into religion so much but I just want to say that so many examples that u have come up with resonates with the islamic concept of beauty and the hijab❤️ I litteraly felt that ❤️ as a muslim women. Powerful message.
I think you should post advice videos like these more.. I would be all ears to them!!! ❤
Thank you so much for this video ♡ so helpful!
Hey Maham. I'm a British born Afghan Muslim girl. I've learnt to love myself. One of my favourite books is Beauty Sick. It really helped me re-define what beauty meant. I followed a youtuber (her name is Marah Snoubar) who sort of looked a bit like me in terms of how her nose was shaped and she wasn't super skinny. Now she got a nose job and she wears super tight clothing. I was disappointed and so unfollowed but other girls may be influenced by it. Alhamdulillah I accept the way Allah (SWT) created me.
Easy to say that when you are pretty
Absolutely! It's like when a billionaire tells you that they don't care about money. People treat you worse when you're ugly, no matter how messed up that is. You CAN just not care, but it'll be an added obstacle for just about every human interaction you have, and unless you're naturally attractive, all the people like this influencer now have it easier since you stopped caring.
and it’s easier to dismiss the message than to put in the work
There’s many prettier than her. She’s not a model, but she’s confident and that’s why you find her pretty
I am so tired of trying to be pretty.i don't even want to.
Thank you for taking the time to share this very important message ❤ Ladies- your worth doesn’t revolve around your physical appearance. Your beauty radiates from your soul ❤
this is so good. it's how i thought as a kid but living life, learning how other people think and absorbing their thought processes made me forget it. thanks for the reminder
Another thing is being conventionally attractive or pretty is bit as common as we think. We seem multiple beautiful women because those are who get media traction but it’s rare to walk out on the street and be attracted to even half the people we see. It’s important to remind ourselves that conventional beauty isn’t something everyone else but I have. These women are called beautiful because they stand out amongst the crowd. If they had regular features they wouldn’t be something we’ve been mani😢into wanting to look like.
I feel like you haven't said much of what I haven't already heard before but the way you explained it was freaking groundbreaking.
I need to re-watch this once a month as a form of self care
I've finished the video now and that point you made of a picture of a sunset not doing it justice is like 🤯 that's gonna be my new phrase for now on. "That picture didn't do me justice!" And move on with life
Thank you for this video
This video was recommend to me and I’m so grateful and love the Islam reference ❤️.
this is so powerful and so true.
Either way, how you look is that last thing someone loves about you. They love you because they understand the song you sing.
YESSSS !!!!!! Finally someone is talking about this!
The first 10 seconds resonated with me strongly. Thank you for this sis. Instant sub ♥️
Today...you have changed my life...thank you...thank you...thank you so much...❤
Hi I'm glad youtube recommended this video,
I never was a huge fan of chasing beauty and fit into beauty standards, I never tried too hard, maybe because I knew I can never look like my peers cause well I'm from a different nation so it's no use trying
But since I'm just a girl I have my bad days when I look at the mirror and only see flaws
These days I feel better about myself in overall and I feel pretty cause I know I just look Ok when I take care of myself.
And I feel so bad that everyone around me must have insecurities about ther looks when they look just fine.
I noticed that I find people prettier if I know that they are a good person, the more I love them the more I see their beauty in every little wrinkle and look and smile
And in reverse if I meet somebody who looks beautiful but their behaviour is ugly then I start see them as ugly from the outside as well.
Ofcourse there are celebrities and etc. Who I will see beautiful even if they are bad person but inner beauty means more than looks.
It would be so cool If more people would accept their natural looks💘😚
I have thought about exactly the same things last week! Thank you for the content and for posting it.
WOW Maham you demonstrated the whole concept of beauty so graspable. Indeed the concept of true beauty have been corrupted.
This is such a great video. Thank you for your time to make and share this ❤
Recently I’ve kind of given up on tryning to make myself be pretty, like doing make up and just generally caring about how I look. And I feel so light. There was a time when I genuinely would not know what to do if I was considered ugly and that just made life so much less enjoyable. I have my good friends, I’m doing well in school, I am doing the activity that I enjoy and I feel good about myself without having to feel pretty
For what it’s worth, You are my new favorite nobody ❤ thank you I needed this
@@beitheleaf8221 🥹🫶🏼
Thank you for talking about this. I say this all the time and I’m usually told to stop being insecure and to stop hating women and I’m just like 🧍🏻♀️ when did I say either of those things.
Lil me used to starve myself when I should’ve been playing outside and having another cupcake.
We fight these demons and why? To be pretty?
At this moment, I do have the time for that. I have a life to live.
I don't know how I found you, but I'm glad
Thank you for posting this! It resonated with me so much and I totally agree with everything you said, let’s have real conversations like this to make a change and truly be happy🤍
Every girl in todays generation needs to give this a listen
I’ve always felt a like people look at me crazy when I say this, but I’ve never understood why the materials and fibers that make our clothes and the way they are shaped, the colors, patterns, etc, makes such a difference in how we are perceived and defined. I understand there is a time and place for things, but the point I’m making is that we chose these arrangements of chemicals, materials, fibers, etc to alter ourselves and if done a certain way at a certain time, you could be seen as beautiful. I know it sounds “out there” but I’ve always just wondered why these external things impacted so greatly how our internal feels and is viewed.
WOW!!! THAT WAS GREAT!!!
you are a beautiful soul, thank you for this video 🤍 I loved the analogy with the flowers and the sunset, I'll try to remind myself of that :)
You're a beautiful soul with a brilliant mind! 🥰
@@LifecoachNadia thank you love ❤️
Such a beautiful video I so needed this
I never usually comment on yt but you just shared so many nuggets of wisdom that I had to do it! You have so much value and knowledge about this topic that I think you’d be able to run a successful business today, just saying 😉 keep it up! ❤
Wow...much needed video on TH-cam. Great title as well. I really needed to hear these words. This can really help teenagers as well.
Thanks pretty
This is my first time here
I like your energy ❤
Truly thank you thank you thank you!!!!! I really benefited from this!!! Such an amazing video!!! I’m grateful to god to have stumbled upon such a beautiful reminder for myself and everyone else!!! ❤
I couldn't be more pleased and down rightthankful to see this. I'm far older than you and have struggled all my life with trying to ensure I measure up to the so called standard of attractiveness, pretty, hot, whatever we name this deviation from the real meaning within each one of us. Of course humans will admire beauty of the visual type but as you so rightly point out, of the far importance is who we are inside and it's expression.
As we transition through life, not only will the referred prettiness standard and asthetic change, but we ourselves will be at varied distances to it...And even if we are able to become the wanted and mostly elusive state we seek,, the goals will forever be shifting. If not due to fashions, due to mother time. Yet young, old, or between the two, we turn ourselves into wilting and dying versions of the wonder that we hold within us at any one time. Often we ignore pursuits that could truly shine and honestly fulfill us, now and for the long haul. As pretty as we acan ever be. we will all lose our bloom if it is a blossom laden with this particular need.
Important....indeed.
And you, lovely human, are certainly beautiful in all definitions of the word. But especially in the way you describe, for starting the conversation, may it be heard this time around.
So well said, you literally said everyhting that needed to be said ❤