Strong Enough to Be Wrong | Joshua Harris | TEDxHarrisburg
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- In today’s world we spend so much energy being right and proving others wrong. Twenty years ago I wrote a best-selling book about dating that I’m now realizing misguided and even hurt some people. I’m hoping that my experience of listening to my critics and reevaluating my conclusions, will inspire others to see that progress and growth always involves the humbling process of admitting mistakes. Joshua Harris is a wordsmith, communicator and content strategist who loves to help clarify and amplify messages that matter.
He’s best known for writing the runaway best-seller I Kissed Dating Goodbye when he was 21.
Twenty years later he’s attending graduate school in Vancouver, Canada, and filming a documentary with fellow students about his journey of facing up to ways his book harmed people who followed its ideas. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
Hearing Joshua acknowledge the hurt his book caused is all I could ever ask for. I don't care what side of religion he ended up on. Thank you for your authenticity Joshua Harris!
Who’s here in July 2019 after hearing about Josh Harris renouncing Christianity?
I renounced mine after 15 years. Megachurches like these were the catalyst.
Rick Wells I have been hurt by the church. However, that is because humans are imperfect. God is perfect. Therefore, I follow God, not people. I think it is a huge mistake to leave one's faith in Jesus, just because of human theology and interpretation.
FAITHandLOGIC
Please do not let Mega Churches be the catalyst to renouncing your faith in Jesus. These are just people's interpretations. Weren't the Pharisees in Jesus' time wrong too? Faith is a journey. We are to place our trust in Jesus, not on people. People are imperfect, myself included. God is perfect. Let prayer and the Holy Spirit guide you into His Love and His Truth. Jesus came to free and liberate the oppressed. He is with the broken-hearted.
@Rick Wells You can't renounce something you never had.
@@jeffandrew10 God bless you, Jeff.
Joshua, your talk is very interesting. I was a youth minister who read your book. Although I refused to teach that young people needed to stop dating, I did teach that they needed to date differently than what our culture encourages. Not everything in your book was wrong. Not everything was right. It seems that you have more going on in your heart than just the book. Hope you know that God and a lot of Christians care for you.
Deformed (“reformed”) Christianity is wrong. Seek Eastern Orthodoxy and leave the distorted, hereticized version of Christs apostolic vessel (impregnable Church) behind.
He is preaching the spirit of this age. Humans "evolving" into a better person without Christ, he bought that oldest lie, "shall not die, your eyes will open and you will be like God". When Jesus is God and He transforms us into the Image of Christ. We can't be good or better without Jesus.
Whats are you talking about? Hes clearly saying that becoming better involves letting things go. He specifically mentions death as being necessary.
@@Noapologiesprolife you and Josh do the same thing, you and him mention themes that actually have to do with change, like death and letting go, but no mention of Christ or sin, which is what we die to(sin) and what we let go off(our sinful life) for the sake of Jesus. Like Christ said, "if you keep your life you lose it, if you lose it your life for My sake you will find it". That message is no where in the video. This is the only way to real change and actual Truth.
Yes he did not mention Christ, but his words don't go against Christ's teachings. It's a TED talk so they probably have restrictions on how "religious" your verbage can be. But admitting when you're wrong (confessing sins) and allowing yourself to be transformed (letting God's truth change you) are literally what the Bible says to do. Also we can be "better" outwardly as people with or without Jesus, we just will never be good enough to earn salvation, we'll never know God's peace without Jesus and we'll not live out the purpose God has for us. That's not the same as bettering yourself as a person, we all have the ability to grow as people wether you're a Christian or not.
@@THEHalfBrainedWonder I completely agree with you. I just did not know how to put that into words.
@@Noapologiesprolife thanks! I will admit I commented before I knew he renounced his faith this week but I think this TED talk was before all that and I still think the themes of this talk do fall in line with Christianity. Aaaaaaaaaanyway lol
For the worse in my case. The much worse. I mean my family went insane. I’m still not really okay but working toward it. His was was not the only resource they used to justify what happened to me. Not by a long shot, but was the first one I was given to read. But you know, this is so impressive that he is doing this. Not many people would say all of this, and it is very healing to hear it. To Josh, thank you.
AmaindeJD agreed! 🙋🏾♀️
What you went through was not the will of God lovely woman. You are deeply treasured by a true and almighty being, and the abuse, excuses, and wrongs you have had to bear in your life can be thrust upon Jesus if you will give them to Him. I am praying that God would reveal that to you Amainde. With Love ✌️
@Andrew Hughes Please provide some evidence as to how you know that this woman is highly treasured by God. Kind of hard to believe given her experience, don’t you think?
I think your story is probably what gives Joshua the satisfaction of knowing he's made the right call. This is not about doctrine or opinion, this is about respecting people's lives and caring about their wellbeing. It's baffling that evangelicals preach Jesus but don't do what Jesus did - protect vulnerable people from abuse.
I was also harmed in so many ways by a Christian upbringing
Why reading and subscribing to the ideas in a book on relationships by a 20 year old is maybe not a good idea.
Exactly... I read books by old people who have actually counseled couples and lived in one themselves.
Like Gary Chapman
I agree to a degree but also think "don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, instead set an example for the believers" (I can't remember the reference but that's in the Bible!)
I was a teenager and in the Evangelical South, when his book came out. I am more upset with the 40+ year olds who required we read and implement the relationship advice of a 20yrs old. He may have been wrong for writing it, but these "church leaders" were even more wrong for making the book so popular, and for twisting it into a weapon to control our generation. He was a product of an already corrupt subculture in Amarica.
@@bethanyshields7752 I feel that all this pushing of the book "Love & Respect" falls into this same category.
I remember hearing about this guy and the book he wrote 📙 in the 90's. I didnt purchase but listened to the interviews including one in, Focus On The Family. I did take a prolonged brake from dating and focused on getting an education It was a good decision for me. .
I think many kids are already doing that these days because of the emphasis our culture has on education...
Glad for you mam.
His book is full of formulas that American evangelicals love-steps, principles, keys, secrets-things to do to achieve the goal. His talk here was just another formula. He’s just switched teams.
Interesting, isn't it?
"For who has known the mind of God?"
The only mind he cares about is his own, and he can't even make it up 😂
It's just a method of public communication. Remember they are talking to an empty chamber.
Ahhh!!!! Thank you for this! Josh, I was a youth minister and chastity speaker for my area who based a lot of what I shared on your books. I LOVED them. But, like you, I have been going through a lot of transformation the last few years. And I have great respect and admiration for you coming out and sharing your own so publicaly. ❤️
Hi, so now no longer for you to believe there's the Creator God of the Bible?
I lot of people are confused about Christianity these days. Mostly due to Christians of past and present miss-handling the scriptures and sensitive topics such as homosexuality. I’m a Christian and there is no way I would read the book he wrote and agree with it in any way. His theology seemed way off. I know a lot of people want to bash Christians (and some if that’s deserving, but don’t write off every Christian. There are still some out there that want to support you and not tear you down. I’m not writing this to debate and the end of the day we’re all human, and I love you 3000
😔 I’m a victim of the book too which my (previous) church used against me at I was 21 years old wanting to date to get married, quoting things from the book as if it’s the bible to justify why I should not date- as though I was not worthy at all.
I left the church. I never stepped foot into another.
No, I didn’t leave because they didn’t allow me to date. I left because all leaders and the pastor labelled me as toxic all because I desired a relationship. I was taught having the desire for a partner is ungodly. I left because going to church literally made me feel worse of a human than if I never knew Jesus.
I am sorry to hear that the church was so legalistic. Christ loves you even gave his life for you so you could have abundant life. God was not against dating. Unfortunately it was a guy's idea so we need to realized that it wasn't God's saying this. I found Christ outside of the church and found that I could trust him with my life. I have come to the realization that living for me led me to a dark world of depression and utter despair. Today after 30 years I am seeing God almost do something in me and in others as his love is changing lives. I hope that you realize that God is calling patiently you back to experience what he had planned for you and when you found this then there is a life that goes deeper than any human experience.
And those people are the ones that are married with kids and probably having difficulties in their relationship becuase they don’t think realistically but very “Christian like” if you know what I mean. They think too idealistically on how a Christian relationship should be but they forget they are still human and suppress their human nature on how they should react to such things. Unhealthy in my opinion.
It is tragic when in the church one book by one young inexperienced man becomes the basis of what they believe We are called to check everything out. I would rather read a book written by someon who had experience. This is why I like books by Gary Thomas on marriage versus this book. He has years of marriage counselling experience and is knowledgeable both about scripture and relationships.
@@0326hkim Discipline is healthy. I have seen too much tragedy when people live by their human nature as the habitual pattern of their lives. Grace from Christ in us empowers an individual to find life above this existence so we are truly free to choose versus react.
Lovelle Liam
That is extremely tragic, and I am so sad to hear the church treated you that way. I hope you can reach back toward God now all these years later and that He will lead you into a church more filled with His love and humility, like Josh Harris is talking about here. Peace of Christ to you.
Christ will be remembered. Harris will be forgotten.
Christ will be remembered sure, just as Thor will be remembered, just as Zeus will be remembered, just as every other deity invented through history. Harris is a man, and maybe he will be remembered, and maybe not. That is not for you to decide.
@@freshairkaboom8171 When Christ comes, you will know and you will bow down. That may be to late for you Fresh. Seek God.
Freshairkaboom Gaming when you die, you will know whether Jesus is real or not but I strongly suggest you find out before that happens
@@susansalinas8867 Well, I'm waiting. Not holding my breath, seeing as his corpse has been rotting in the ground for the last two thousand years. But keep believing in magic if you want, meanwhile, I'm going to live in the real world. But hey, if you're right, I'd like to be a Hufflepuff.
@@bsongie Got any pointers? Even a clue? Cause if a billion religious people can't figure out a single piece of solid evidence for the most important thing in their lives, I don't think you got much of a chance in convincing people that use half a braincell.
I really like your book and agree with what is in it. Scripture should be central to all our relationships. Josh, you were always very humble in explaining your book. You never held it as high as Scripture. You did your best and the Holy Spirit seems to have directed its writing. Don't apologize for a book that was misused by others. If there were specific errors, admit them, but don't throw the baby out with the bath water. It's a great book.
Good morning, Mr. Grove. I agree with you completely. Mr. Harris makes concessions in his book, to the fact that the Bible is his authority--and our authority in life--but that we rely on God and His grace, not a religious formula for how best to live our lives. As for the dating subject, God should be our final authority. Pastor Perry Stone said that, after he was in the ministry a few years, as a young man, the Lord Jesus Christ told him his future wife's name, and gave a description of her general appearance, prior to his marriage coming to pass. He dated her (only her), by phone, for two years before he met and married her--all by the Lord's direction. They are still together and enriching each other these decades later. One of my church friends said the Lord showed him his wife, prior to their meeting and marriage. He said the Lord even showed him, with photographic precision, what she would look like. Theyvdated and later married. I have known my friend and his wife for nearly twenty years. No legalism involved. Just obedience to the Lord's voice. Obviously, what I have described will not happen to everyone in the body of Christ, nor has it over the millennia. God has several manifestations of direction for marriage to the right spouse. (Pastor Billy Graham has yet another story of his marital obedience but I do no want to be too long here). We often forget that God can, and has the right to, be precise about what He wants us to do with our romantic lives. Too often we treat this area, that ultimately can affect so much else about every other area of life, given the 'one flesh' covenant nature of romance and marriage, as somehow outside of God's creation and jurisdiction. We (Christians and non-Christians alike) treat it as a kind of a little/big incidental WE created, that God does not pay attention to much beyond certain point, or have any plans for us for. We act as though He is obligated to accept and bless whatever we do with our romantic lives, however much or little, it aligns with His plans for us. Just as we trust Him with specifics about our jobs, our education, friendships, residences, even hobbies or vacations, and submit to Him about the same, we should trust Him with, and submit to Him about our romantic plans. He created us and our capacity to have, benefit from, and share our capabilities of experience with all of the above subjects. As Christians, we owe God our lives and purposes in every area. (1 Corinthians 6: 14-20, verse 20 in particular). You and Mr. Harris (in his former service to the Lord Jesus Christ) remind us of this with your steadfastness in obedience to the Lord. Thank you and God bless you today. Please keep setting the example.
there's nothing wrong with his book actually. it was just base on Bible standard.
@@joydiano747 he is now getting divorced and is no longer a Christian his book ruined so many people's lives while I'm not angry with him I hate that book
Josh harris, welcome to the world of unbelievers! You were blind but now you see! Congratulations!
At this point, that's what you think is the truth but in the end, you will know the TRUTH.
To ClassisGirl70s...I think that if anyone’s faith can’t stand up to questioning, doubting, challenges, and change, then maybe it’s not strong enough for that. If God is big, God can handle such. Many people in many faiths don’t think a lot for themselves and they don’t do critical thinking often in their faith. God created an amazing brain to use but often even scripture appears to say to bypass that. I think we’ve misunderstood much of scripture and therefore hav made IT a god rather than God. Peoples stories DO challenge others, and if they can’t think those through for themselves and their faith can’t take that, then maybe they need that challenge. I left my religion to find God when I started actually thinking through my faith. It became much more personal and living and it became a deeper faith with HEART.
My book,my success ,my truth, etc
I LOVE ME.
You nailed it...truth.
True that😱
Hes just pleased to have the spotlight again.
I don't think you heard a word he said.
Admitting that you were wrong doesn't make you weak, nor does it make you strong. It makes you intelligent, and decent.
Even Judas had some sence
Josh, I was raising teenagers when you wrote your book. I appreciated your heart for wanting to help young people pursue purity. But the legalism in the book regarding how that purity is played out is where you may have gotten confused. The cross of Christ says that our transformation is a work of the Holy Spirit. So it’s progressive; it doesn’t happen by creating rules to follow. It comes with many defeats along the way, but with many moments of communion with God where victory happens. Legalistic Christianity creates dishonesty, but an honest and humble relationship with God births obedience through HIS power. I love you Josh, but please reconsider not walking out on Christ. It’s okay to walk away from a false system, but please don’t walk away from God and the truths of Scripture!
Beautifully written.
No, the reason he walked away was he no longer believed there's a God, he believed in evolution, pay attention to what he said at 9'40"。
So, what he needs to know is the evidence of God, not love!
Beautifully said, I agree 100%.
deconstruction isn’t something you can consider or reconsider, unfortunately. once it starts, you can’t stop it. he hasn’t “walked out” on anything or anyone.
He's a really good communicator! I don't know about his ministry or life but a good speaker!
I appreciate the content of this message. Yet your book and video series are still for sale - presumably you are still receiving royalties? I want to believe you are genuinely sorry, and I hope you'll put your actions and money where your mouth is. A Ted talk and a crowdfunded documentary are no skin off your nose... on the contrary, they further increase your already-high profile. Plenty of people are apologising nowadays for the sake of their own professional image (see Harvey Weinstein). Please show us you're different.
I thought that too, but I know the inner parts of a publishing company. It’s possible that the publishing company refuses to stop printing the book (since it still makes money) and he has lost rights to it by now. I don’t know, I’m just saying it’s possible he doesn’t have any control over whether it is published still or not.
Really good point! I am sure Josh would still be receiving royalties, though, which could easily be directed into a fund to help those who have been hurt by the teachings he now realises were erroneous. Many of these are single mothers or women trapped in abusive marriages with no means of earning their own income. (I am not one of these women, but sadly I know many who are.) Josh has profited ENORMOUSLY from his book and the aftermath (e.g. becoming a senior pastor of a large church at a very young age). So long as he is sitting comfortably on his profits, it is difficult to believe feels remorse for the very thing that led to his success. I hope he does. He is perfectly positioned to make a real difference in the lives of some very vulnerable women (and men!).
Last I looked you could buy a copy of at least IKDG for $1 plus postage from a number of used book sellers. I am not sure why anyone would want to buy a new book when you can get the book used for almost nothing.
I feel like the redirected royalties per peroson "harmed" would be less than the cost of the postage to send it. Perhaps, like Mr. Harris's book, your thought seemed like a good idea at the time.
Lana Bode, but...comparing this to Harvey Weinstein...seriously?
I have a hard time believing if someone was truly born again they could ever renounce it. I'm saying is, he never met the risen Christ.
Truly your book was used against me as a weapon
So what exactly was wrong with what he wrote and once believed? Though not infallible, I've found his books to be full of wisdom and sound advice.
His heart has changed and I think instead of just rethinking some of what he wrote, he's thrown out his entire belief system. It's very odd to me.
Justin, It sounds like he's having trouble grasping the fact that his book offended people. Isn't that what MOST of Jesus' words did?
I feel the need to give my own testimony. I was born in a Christian family where my parents were pastors of a church and are still pastors. Since the age of 16, I began to abondon my faith despite knowing a lot about the Bible. The reason was because I couldn't see Christ real. What I mean by not seeing Christ real is that I could not literally see or hear him or couldn't find him in any of people surrounding me including my parents and the churches I used to attend. By the age of 18 I was told that it's time to give my life to Jesus and I've got myself Baptisted and thought maybe I'll find Christ and find joy that many claim to have received in testimonies. But it didn't happen. I distanced myself more and more falling into taking drugs and alcohol. I came to the point where I decided to take my life away because I wouldn't lose anything after all according to me. I was really sad and hopeless to the point that I challenged heaven that if any of those claimed Gods didn't come to me today anyone of them I would take my life away. I got to my room, opened my laptop and listened to some good reggae music. I saw a video about an evangelical meeting held my Rodney Howard Browne at ORU. And I click on it saying"look at those clowns" at some point Rodney said " if ever you feel that you need God today and you want your life changed and never be the same put your hands on your screen. I was like" OK let's give it a chance". As soon as he started praying, I felt something coming through my body, I felt on my knees and started crying. I couldnt control myself and guess what, I heard him saying in my ear for the first time ever " I am, who I am" and I knew yes he was real. Let me tell you, life was not a bed of roses since then, I fell down sometimes but always get up because he's showed me that he's real. I've met people that I don't even know, but we're able to tell me what was going on in my life God revealing them what's going on and giving them a msg of encouragement to keep hoping. Those encounters shook me and I know that there ain't something else more precious than YAHWEH. What's the point of gaining the world and losing your
Soul at the end. He's real so is his love for you. I don't mind suffering for him anymore. It's a pleasure to find strength in his joy.
Most of the time, we grow wiser as we age. Occasionally, it’s the other way around.
Wow I'm sad to hear that he left the church - as someone who previously left the church I can wholeheartedly relate to his stories. I came back to church for a personal reason, and I don't regret me coming back but I must say that I still have a lot of questions that I deal with.
I read his book as a teenager, and thought that I had to save myself for someone. Instead, when I went to college, people looked at me like I'm crazy for thinking this. Well... I guess his teaching could be a good guideline to save kids from doing something they may regret, but then, I don't think I'm right 100%.....
His mistake is not leaving what protestants call Christianity. Protestantism is an utterly heretical 500 year old distortion of the one, Holy and Apostolic tradition the Christ inaugurated and sealed on Pentecost. Rather, his true mistake was not asking whether or not that notion of Christianity is actually the true faith? If he had really examined the question objectively, he would’ve found eastern Orthodoxy and come to the realization that he had been spending his entire life chasing a heresy spawned by megalomaniacal demagogues like Calvin, Luther, Zwingli.
Wow, I can feel your pain.... I just took your book out of the shelf. This was THE book I have read when I was a teenager. And you know what: It would have saved me from lots of pain I went through the last 11 years in my marriage when I had did what you have said. But me and my boyfriend, now husband, kissed and did things before really knowing each other and so it bound me to him. The fruit was a difficult marriage with lots of pain till today. So I think your book was fine. Sad to hear that so many people gave you bad responses and caused you so much pain. I think this is a good book and nobody should ever judge you for that.
I think it was Josh who was rejecting and repudiating his book here, in the end-not other people; although his readers likely got him thinking along those lines. If I understand correctly, are you saying that you had access to the book as a teenager and *Did* read it (but rejected its message?)? Or that you *Wish* you had read and followed it? Thanks in advance for clarifying.
Now it's time to write another book, titled, "I Kissed Dating Hello".
"They went out from us, because they were never of us."
Leaving "Christianity" and leaving God / Christ are 2 separate and distinct things. One can leave the institutions and vestages of Christianity but still have a relationship with God/Christ. I feel like some people commenting here think that the 2 are inseparable and indistinct.
Absolutely correct!
i like the puritans, but this concept was a "fence" law that the Pharisees would have approved of
Joshua, with all due respect. All you talked about was how YOU were wrong, how YOU were hurt, how YOU were confused. No wonder YOU struggled with your faith and with God, YOU thought it was about YOU and YOUR book.
Now your next chapter is once again all about YOU and how YOU can now teach us all to win at being wrong.
Please don’t now go and write another book called ‘I kissed right goodbye.’. Just in case you need to tell us all in another Ted talk in a few years, that you got it wrong again, and then you need another Ted talk to help us all again get wrong right.
Joshua Your mistakes, rights and wrongs are not the answer to the world. Again your placing. YOU way to highly.
The simple truth is you didn’t believe God was beyond you. End of talk, end of being our help guru.
I believe you would greatly benefit from giving yourself some time before you get back on a platform to share your new found answers and wisdom to life, when it’s strikingly obvious you still think somewhere in your mind that somehow you are the fixer, at the moment it seems to be something you just can’t shake off.
As a believer in Jesus Christ, I personally have felt God move me in directions that are incredibly scary to voice unto the world. I feel that we as a collective human whole, have become judgemental and therefore divided. Now, I may be wrong, but I believe God may have intentionally placed us under these "circumstances" as a test of our compassion for our fellow humans. I say humans as opposed to all life simply bc it is square one to our understanding of compassion, unity and universal love which he is the source of in this beautiful universe. I personlly am grateful for this mans willingness to voice his heart. We do not have to follow his every word, but maybe the point here is to simply consider that progress is the point. Difference in Perception is a funny reality that I think could unite us all, or tear us apart. Maybe it just depends on how we choose to see it. Then what we choose to do from there. - Just another human, going through process of progress. Bless all that may stumble.🙏💝👣
Letting go of being right, is more important than being okay with being wrong
Never read it - it sounds like it was enforced in legalistic terms, but clearly contains some prophetic truth. Most dating relationships go nowhere but pain and confusion. If it is leading to marriage it's worth it. Speaking from personal experience.
He doesn't care about the LGBT community. Everybody forgot about him after his book. Just trying to get back in the headlines....
God loves you Joshua..
God is Love.
He can do no other
Yes. 🙏🏻❤️ well done 🙏🏻🕊Humility. Repentance. The path through forgiveness into re-Creation. The highway of righteousness. You are getting it. This is redemption. Jesus is so much more than just Savior. He is the Redeemer.
You know that Rev. Harris has renounced his faith completely and utterly. (For now, as he says.) He says he can't be a Christian now in any way, shape, or form. Pray for him!
You renounce God, He's still God. You leave Him, you only rob yourself of His fullness and goodness. And it's not about money. The peace, the forgiveness, the presence of the Spirit of God in us, the transformation, the love, the hope, the guidance, the plans God has for us and then heaven are things money, friends and family can't give us... I don't think anyone should live this life without Christ Jesus.. John 3:36
I am a Christian and was just coming back to the church when this book came out while starting college. I knew that this book was bad then. The publishers should have never released it in the first place..
"Strong enough to be wrong" or weak enough to give in when the tide turns? I guess God will need to sort all that out.
What if he's wrong about being wrong? Everyone should use critical thinking when reading any book or listening to any Ted talk
All I can say God is love. Love and God are synonymous. That love though is perfect love. He sent jesus full of grace and truth to save us.
Wonderful humility ❤️
Poor man, he's committing spiritual suicide. 😔
I kissed dating goodbye is a very good book I don’t understand how Joshua Harris can say now that he was mistaken it is based on biblical believes and principles and was very well written I am blessed to have been raised in a Christian setting and a very good church that the religious down fall in society does not affect the biblical principles of a healthy relationship!! God bless all you other Christians out there trying to stand up in a spiritual fallen society!!!
Wesley Gehman Have you seen the documentary?
Confusion like yours is why Joshua Harris had to go through all of this difficulty in the first place. The _reason_ he was mistaken is because he thought that "biblical principles" had something to do with relationships. And he's right now on a slow-burning path to the realization that his whole life was based on a lot of nonsense.
His book is toxic. It hurt and destroyed a lot of people.
He never does say how his book harmed peoples marriages or families.
God will challenge us personally to do His Will (i.e. Gideon)! Some things are contrary to His nature, and we must be willing to take steps to journey with Him; but if we turn back from following Him, He won't take pleasure in us, or what we do! Be convinced and assured of God's calling, He's able to restore those who have fallen, but we're living in dangerous times!
This guys title should be; “ Weak Enough To CHOOSE WRONG!”
I think if one conciders wrong... one might rethink that opener, I came across the phrase critical thinking. I think it was in the book "awake at work", he said "we all want to bounce the ball on the basketball court"
Good word. I don’t see the big deal in recanting a former opinion. With regards to his loss of faith, that’s also not a big deal. What kind of faith is he loosing, or has lost anyway? It was fear and performance based. That’s not a bad thing to loose. In fact, it’s essential to lose if you want to discover the freedom that is found in knowing a loving God. Rather than walking away from God, he may actually be opening himself up to finally be found by him. Who knows?
Dream,dare,risk and live!!
Accepting that I am wrong,itself take great troll on one's life.
Undoing what one did and changing constantly will push their existing limits,any opinions on this??
I sure wanted to hear his version of events but he struggles so hard to say how he felt and what happened.... he talks about how we may feel... this was a lot of words with very little content or message. He sounds unsure of what he’s unsure of. IKDG did negatively effect me because of how my, then bf took it to heart like scripture, but that was my bf’s problem and therefore, mine. We did get married and have talked about how wrong this book directed him/us. We knew this way before Joshua said this. We all have a responsibility for what we read, wrote and what we believe. Joshua, I think you’re still so confused. I’m sad to say. Your book may have been wrong but what in the world are you doing now?
Is he being too hard on himself? He was 21! What do you really know at 21?
when a person denounces their christianity, my question is, did they really understood what God did on the cross for them? did they really moved by the love of God?
Is this Harrisburg, PA?
Very interesting. I was only a kid in the 90s so I hadn't heard of him - I may have later on but I can't recall. I think his biggest contribution to society was to actually change the outlook about being wrong - but he couldn't have done so without the popularity of the book. One thing I thought was odd though, that he crowdfunded the documentary despite being a best-selling author. Although decades later, it still seems insulting to get it funded that way. Just my opinion though!
This guy still finding ways to make money. The bigger market is now the athiests not the religious.
Can he be strong enough to live modestly and stop profiting from his mistakes? That's the part that bothers me most. Ok, you made a mistake...please don't fleece ppl for more money.
4:32 That is what I really thought about the book based on my friends' sharing who have read the book.
I was so impressed by his dad, Gregg at a homeschool seminar. He said that Noah was a good dad because he was able to get his sons into the boat...I feel so bad for Gregg because I bet he is just grieving that his son got out of the boat. He is grieving because his son is perishing. He is a prodigal and I pray that someday he will return to truth.
Noah was a good dad because he convinced his sons to accept his personal worldview? Apply this concept to anything else and you’ll see how twisted this reasoning is.
@@alstroemeria5623Well I guess saving his family from death comes pretty high on the list. Everyone has a world view. Noah's world view included faith in God. Yes, I want my children in the boat when the flood waters surround.
Marjorie Hartung Your underlying assumption here is that life itself is an amazing thing that must be preserved at all costs. I think I would’ve preferred the freedom to choose my own path versus taking my father’s word for what the truth was, even if it did ultimately mean I couldn’t make it onto the boat.
That is your right and your world view. You teach what you think is right to your children. All parents do. Children have the freedom to think too and choose.
Anna Protsenko, what do you mean worldview? "Sons, even though we're on dry land there's a major flood coming. Believe me, this boat that GOD told me to build will save us. Let all these people around us laugh, time will tell if what I'm saying is true."
When you're wrong accept responsibility of being wrong. Christ teaches offer your other cheek. You may be a honest and great soul. Oh I hope you help people who are in need ( specially the nuns) judging n abusing is their endeavours. Thank you, bless you. All your dreams come true.
"You know, the great news (the gospel) about learning to admit that you got something wrong (admit you sinned) is that you don't have to be so afraid of being wrong (no fear of being sinful [big smile of relief]), which means you can move toward people that see the world differently than you (take counsel from other sinners) and not be so terrified that they might change your mind (no fear of sinful influence)."
This should read: "You know, the great news about learning to admit that you got something wrong is that you can then by faith exchange your wrong with the perfection of Jesus, who on the cross drank all of his Father's wrath toward his people's sin and who in his resurrection declares them completely forgiven, and you can restfully work in absolute assurance that through Jesus you have eternal peace and perfect standing in your Father's sight."
Let's be careful in our communities as believers to 'NOT "" shoot our own wounded'' when they faulter when they are really saved as in being children of God in Jesus ! I plead with the comment makers here .If possible do show patience and mercy which is a trait of God's character.
So let me get this right, he's just trying to please everyone? If anyone's hurt by his words, he thinks that's bad? Boy, oh boy, Jesus didn't think like that. Jesus spoke the truth and it hurt MOST PEOPLE!!!
Reading some of these comments on here and how your book caused them to loose out in life and not date because they felt awkward as a teenager anyways... MAYBE--> since your TedTalk
And Mr "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" has recently kissed lifelong marriage goodbye.
He's having a divorce.
He is now an apostate😰
@@shawndurham297
Do you have a link to an article on that?
David Hutchings he announced it on his Instagram yesterday
@David Hutchins What a profound comment 🙄.
I’m curious. I know TedTalk is not a Christian channel but is there anyone complaining about him who actually experience courtship and purity before marriage the way God intends us to? I really don’t think so.
FKA T Have you seen the documentary?
All he's doing is confusing the young people.
What new evidence or rationality persuaded him that he was wrong? Did I miss it?
Zach Smith bruh, I’m trying to find the same information. He also seemed to have jumped Shoppes to Evolution... wow 🤦🏼♂️
Who else is here because that book was used against them like a weapon as a child/teen?
He wasn't wrong to write the book, he just caved into the pressures of this world, I hope he comes back to his first love
Yeah, apologize now after all the book royalties and the wife you got because of them. Too little, too late.
What would you like from him instead? What kind of suffering or payment from him would undo the pain and loss his book caused?
Josh you do not have to try to get everyone onboard to justify your unbelief , Calvinism is dangerous and it causes great harm , praying for you, The Gospel is a free gift by the grace of God, John chapter 3, 1 Cor 15:3-5, Ephesians 2:8-9, Titus 3:5, 1 John 5:13
Where can i find the document that he produced?
His anti-dating message was a good excuse for an awkward teenage kid like me to avoid talking to girls. I missed out on the chance to learn as a young dude how to meet them and get dates. At some point God doesn't bring you a wife, and you realize you really do have to figure it out for yourself.
That is sad
Lol
Dan did you get married?
@@annamaya854 I did not.
@@hagendf that’s surprising. Your profile looks like you are good guy. Please know I’m not coming into you, I’m very happily married. I’m thinking about my single girl friends who are waiting for a quality guy to make a move.
I really appreciate his words. His book was used as a bible in my youth groups and was at the center of the purity culture movement where I was.... Purity culture itself left scars on my mental health and relationships that still aren't healed. I appreciate someone being strong enough to admit that they might have been wrong.
Hey I just want you to know that I'll pray for you today, that your wounds will be healed. Stay strong!
Same here. I’m sorry you went through that too...
SO true. I don't know anyone including myself that has not been DEEPLY DAMAGED by his teachings which our church REQUIRED us to read every day and which was in our school every Thursday Chapel Day. This man gave Christian women medical conditions like Vaginismus and Vulvadinya bc of his teachings. LITERALLY.
Yep. Same. I have healed from it by now, but it was a rough time for me. Best wishes to you.
Now, that said, I LOVE how he can come out and say this. That gives him so much clout!
I, too, read his book during the late 90s as a Christian teenager and thought it was very good. It helped me to exercise self control and set proper boundaries in my life at that young age. Would you please explain how such a book left scars mentally and in your relationships? I'm just curious.
Followers of Christ should base everything on Gods word,even 'Christian books' should not be taken as absolutes and a standard. Feed your spirit with word of God it will guard your soul form the enemies deception.
Amén
Made my day! Christian values should be based on the bible alone. The bible alone if correctly interpreted is the most useful, life changing and mind transforming book ever. It is the Word of God not of man.
Why not start thinking for yourself ?
@@aaronreysegundino9632 you are so right
Which language and which translation of the bible do you consider gods word?
"Let God be true and every man a liar." It's not about Christians being "right." It's about God being right and us aligning to that. The basis for being right and the basis for being wrong is all defined by God. Not ourselves.
Rebecca Jones amen!
The Bible was written by men long after the time the books happened. So basically you’re saying that the Bible is wrong, since every man is a liar.
Very well said!
@@ryannoble8536 Nope. Not at all. The men who God used to put His words down were instruments, not independent spokesmen who wanted to put down their own words. They all loved and served God. Your taking a few words from the Bible to prove what it does NOT say is dishonest, at best.
@@bonnielatshaw6467 Where's your proof that God used those writers of the Bible as instruments? Please don't say that the proof is in the Bible, because that's circular reasoning.
I have never heard a religious leader apologize for wrong doing
Google Jim Baker & Jimmy Swaggart!
if the comments here are any tip off, it's because most religious people would rather cling to a bad idea than move past it.
If they did, they would lose their identity, their esteem in the community, and their entire social support network. They would lose too much. Rev Carlton Pearson did, and lost a lot in the process.
Then you've been listening to the wrong ones.
@@tcorbett72 that's what I was going to say.
So many people dealing with their cognitive dissonance in the comments.
How come? ( I really want to know why you say so)
He left Calvanism not Christianity.
@KTTGHMTJWYCBLAC your character tells me exactly what I would expect, assuming that you are an apologist for Calvinism. Will it make you feel better if I edited my comment or left it mispelled for your pleasure?
@KTTGHMTJWYCBLAC Read that quote about Calvinism. I dont follow Calvin, I follow Jesus.
@KTTGHMTJWYCBLAC 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The worst part wasn't the book itself, but the fact that our youth pastor's often were using it against us. I had trouble developing relationships because of that.... my longest lasting 6 months. I am 35 and never been married.
Sorry
It messed with a lot of kids. Either forcing them to marry the first person they "courted" or making people so nervous about being FULLY in a relationship that they just gave up.
So your saying at 35 it’s a books fault for you being single. REALLY you actually can sell yourself that idea. WOW!
You are still young and can learn from your mistakes
My heart goes out to you. Wish we could speak. All the best to you.
Your new life has already begun.
RESPECT. I was forced to read that book when I was very young, and I feel like it's teachings have really held me back. I never thought that I would see this day.
What did it hold you back from?
@@lapaul2791 For me it forced me into a marriage at 18. Gave me vaginismus and vulvadinya. It's not a joke. It's truly damaging.
Lissy London
Was that from stress?
Lissy London same! I'm finally healing after counseling and healing relationships!
@@LSSYLondon I understand what you're saying, but nobody. should feel forced. I didn't get that from courting. I don't think not dating means limiting God's options for you as a spouse. I'm sorry you had such a horrible experience. May you continue to heal from your experience.
This book caused so many issues in the church communities I was exposed to growing up. I'm still unraveling the damage it caused me but I'm glad he made this statement.
"There are people in your life who are invested in the old you." Amazing.
And a lot of them are making comments on this video, apparently. :)
Dating is for fools
I was homeschooled by foster parents and had to live this out for 3 years, and write a book report on it when I was a part of a Christian cult-ish family. It was so intense unlearning all this shame.
my dad required my sister and i to read it and write a book report, too, before we could start dating. my sister did it and got into bad relationships, i refused and still got into bad relationships. neither of us were taught how to be in a healthy relationship.
It's sad that so many parents failed to teach their children that Christ is love and forgiveness, not rigid rules and shame.
Joshua you believed and became what you were thought. People are eager to blame others for their choices.
Growing up is realizing that Josh was just as trapped as we were. 😢
The youth pastor of a church I used to go actually teaches to the teens that it is useless to approach a girl unless you're absolutely sure you will marry her. Basically, dating is futile. For him, it's just a formality before getting engaged and married, basically. He holds to the view that only one person exists to marry you and I need to find that person. Hummm no. There are many godly women. I just need to find one for myself.
Juan preach
That pastor needs to be thrown out on his rear.
That pastor will contribute to the divorce rate because if there is only one God intends you to marry then what happens if you get it wrong.
This is correct my friend.🧔🏻👍🏻.
In the beginning God made them man and wife. Never changed..
He wanted to make a buck by being a Christian, now he wants to make a buck by leaving Christianity. This is the classic behaviour an extremely manipulative narcissist.
He left his wife for younger women, and had to find a philosophy that allows him to engage in a this behaviour, simple as that.
Hey Jay, I don’t mean to be rude, but I think that’s a pretty cynical view which doesn’t really align with the man we see in this video. Josh Harris has consistently expressed his views (both as a conservative Christian and now more recently as a non-believer) with a humility and sincerity that deserves, at the very least, a bit more respect. By honestly and publicly rejecting his past writings, he has opened himself up to a wave of anger, blame and ridicule from the community on which much of his life has been based. To suggest that he did this for personal gain is, I think, unfair.
@@samuelgiddy7504
This is innacurate, most folks have responded with an incredible amount of naivete, effectively giving him a pass. Christians tend to be very patient (often to their detriment) and willing to hold out hope for people.
This man is now a full time marketing consultant. He knows how to push your buttons to make you feel any way he wishes to make you feel. Thus the humble-speak and the inclusion of every buzz word under the sun produced its desired result.
Abandoning ones wife after decades of marriage is a cowardly and heartless move. And, he should in fact be called out on this and not given a pass. Please Samuel, use dicernement (and common sense) with these types of manipulative people.
This is sad. Any true Christian would understand what it feels like to see a fellow member fall away. It’s sad it’s not our place to judge or ridicule or even understand... but... it’s just truly disheartening
“Admitting you are wrong” seems a bit dogmatic, kinda like you’re changing one dogma for another. And by declaring you WERE wrong are you saying you are NOW right and everyone else is wrong? Biblical faith is still the best answer for mankind’s hurts. I hate to see you abandon your faith and weaken the faith of so many as you go. I hope your journey leads you back to Him.
Amen!
Hmmmm...I get it!
"Biblical faith is still the best answer for mankinds hurts"
There's no evidence to support that. Scandanavian Europe is predominantly atheist, and each of those countries ranks among the top in health, happiness and quality of life.
South America is almost entirely christian, and many of their countries rank among the bottom in those same categories.
He literally never said he was "right." He just said he has realized he was wrong about something HE MADE (his book), and now he's trying to listen and learn.
Maybe he just woke up from a bad trip that had him admonishing others for their beliefs.
Sounds like he's falling back into his old ways. He's gotta be right. So he's right again about being wrong. And I guess he's right again about divorcing his faithful wife. This guy ain't worth listening to. He's confused, and he's gonna confuse others who are listening to his gibberish.
He set up his listeners by beginning with the statement, "is it a sign of weakness to admit you were wrong?" People let down their guard when they hear a statement like that. Of course he answers his own question. But it's a no-brainer. The average person hates pride and loves humility. He's become the source of wisdom, rather than turning people to the Wisdom which comes from above to be their Source.
Try not to assume anything. He may be a man but it could be that this is not at all about him.
I agree, he seems way too focused on himself. No wonder he walked away from the faith; where we are told to die to ourselves and follow Christ. "What shall it profit a man if he gains the whole world but forfeits his soul."
You are so right! Very well said!
sm6jesse judge not lest you be judged.
I may be wrong (but I'm not 😉) but the only thing sadder than false converts claiming to be something they aren't and falling away from something they never had - is- twisted mindsets that lead to false conversions, mindsets that site vrs like "judge not lest ye be judged" or maybe John had it wrong when he said... "but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world." Our prayer should be that God would give us God honoring discernment. Btw, good reply from Ray 👍
So what actually did you get wrong? While I realize the point is admitting you got something wrong and having the courage to admit it publicly you glossed over the salient points of what was wrong? You say people were hurt by your book - but what specifically was weaponized in your writings against them? Maybe a discussion in another talk?
+glbfletc01 why not head over to the site he mentioned where posts people's review?
Another video would be great, but I don't think explaining what exactly was wrong was the point of this talk. The controversy of the book is nothing new. I think his point was to use an already fairly well known mistake to frame a talk about change, growth, and strength in accepting one's mistakes and letting them go, not to give a point by point analysis of his own book.
The basic problem with the book was, when I read it as a teenager, it gave you the impression that dating, having girlfriends etc was wrong and that you'd get damaged emotionally, so its best to just live radically for God and He'll bring along a partner for you. It sounds right in theory. And it seems to work for a few people. I read I corinthians 7 where paul says its better to be single, and when you're married it can be a distraction.
Through all my teens and early 20s I had loads of girls keen on me, and i turned them all down. I gave one of them the "i kissed dating goodbye" book. In my mid 20s I heard from preachers who didn't go along with the idea that God has that one special person out there for you, and preached that there is numerous possibilities who you could marry, so you may need to date a few people before finding a suitable partner
+malthuzianfilms
oh yeah, you summed it up pretty well.
I would like to know the same thing. I have seen more problems from people dating than from people waiting for marriage.
I read his book in 1997 and followed the advice for the past 23 years, guess I was wrong too. I admit it.
Why would you listen to “reformed” Christian teaching? Protestantism is fake Christianity.
I really liked the part when the woman confessed that his apology was the first time that she ever heard a religious leader apologize or acknowledge that they had gotten something wrong.
It takes so much humility to admit to your mistakes and yet, when I look back on my religious upbringing, I have a hard time thinking of religious teachers who admit their recent mistakes. They are more than happy to tell you horror stories from before the knew the lord and decided to walk the straight and narrow, but they don't admit to anything more recent than that.
One of my issues with youtube atheists(TM) is that I've found this same lack of humility. I'm not talking about everyone on this website who happens to be an atheists, just some of the ones who made a career out of on their channels. I see so many reaction videos of them trying to ridicule and embarrass anyone who doesn't think as they do and they seem just as bad as the evangelicals that they probably once were.
Anyway, I think it's funny that Josh talked about backlash when you try to change because I see it here in the comments. He didn't say that waiting until marriage is wrong and dating is the only correct way to get to know someone before you marry them. You can still live your life as you see fit. He just sees that there's validity in other ways of thinking.
It's here, people have said he was never saved because he's going through a crisis of how much his well intentioned book hurt people. These people feel righteous and are condemning the only man seeking the things Jesus promoted like grace and love for others. He's basically been exiled from Christianity by the people that are mad about this.
There is a reason for that; a lot of atheists come from a religious upbringing, and there is a form of catharsis watching someone beat up the bully the same way the bully beat you up, it takes time for the anger to heal. There are ton’s of atheist channels that don’t focus on ridiculing, (Pinecreek being an example) plus a lot of people are taught that being wrong is stupidity or being done with malice, those beliefs don’t disappear just bec you loose faith, they have to be learned independently.
He uses humanistic terms...indicative of where he came to. The humility is good, but he is clearly not grounded in the Lord, as evidenced by his recent denial of Christianity.
yet he is spreading more love now than ever before
@@smartcow360
Love for whom? 1 John 2:15
It takes a lot of courage to leave a cult. Let's call it what it is, a cult.
Christianity was a cult?
Always has been.
I'm proud of you for admitting it. Having grown up in it that subculture is very hard on young men. We're all supposed to grow up to be world changers rather than being all right with being a good person who has a good impact on those around them and anything less than the world changer scenario is somehow not measuring up. I was like you too. 21 and knew everything. Better late than never to admit we had a lot of growing up to do.
So, what you're saying is that I committing sin is better than seeking the Lord's will for a mate? Getting to know someone spiritually and emotionally before having intimacy is wrong? I am confused. Going into sin is never fruitful. God gives grace but the price paid is too high.
@@bchlon1 Apparently you didn’t learn anything either. Asking God for a mate and not doing the work to get one is like asking God to give you an A+ in your exam without doing the heavy studying.
I appreciate anyone who is willing to admit that he or she has gotten something wrong. I also must point out that the use of his book “kissing dating goodbye” as the guide for finding a mate is and was wrong. The Bible is the guide. In His Word, God provides His Will, or desire for His children, and through prayer, godly counsel, the guiding of the Spirt of God, and insight from His Word, believers gain wisdom for God’s plan to fulfill His Will.
Josh is not perfect, neither are parents, professors, doctors, etc and no book written today is without mistakes. When I first heard about Josh’s book and heard him on the radio, I was impressed with the convictions he had that guided his life. Yet I knew that everything he said was not Bible but personal convictions. For example, I can emphatically say that a husband should love his wife like Christ loves the church, which is biblical truth. Yet, how my wife feels loved is not the same for every wife. Therefore, I don’t tell every husband to get his wife flowers because his wife may not like flowers. So, how to apply God’s command may be different but that doesn’t make the command wrong. Christians should stand on God’s eternal Word not on their preferences. Books can help give insight but those authors are not infallible.
Indeed!
You're correct, but you have to wonder what made him stop believing in the power of the cross??
Could it be he was using religion to capitalize?
@@sheilashoop3308 - That possibility has been brought up, but no one filled with the Holy Spirit would have even made a talk such as this so it's clear he wasn't even saved when he made this TED Talk. Had I been a member of his church and saw this 2 years ago, I'd have asked him about it. He's clearly showing here that 2 years ago, he was already getting "geared up" to do what he just did. But....by denying Christ, he just lost *everything*
@@sheilashoop3308 Josh Harris has a boyfriend? What is your evidence?
I agree.Our relationshp with each other is unique and so is our being.We can't always relate to someone else's story or experience and even n how we should address our own concerns.
How did you come to the conclusion you were wrong and now right?
Where did your new wisdom come from?
What's the source...urself?
Lucifer whispered in his ear and made him think its his own choices and ideas
@@johnsmith_treeler9031
Did "satan" do this alleged whispering 20 years ago when he wrote the book, or two decades later when he renounced it?
@@opalrose3014 He is in it for the long Game
Who?
@@opalrose3014 satan. The guy should have never wrote a book if if he says the bible is where he gets his info and beliefs, then why didnt he point everybody back in that direction. Very big Ego thinking he going write a better book as if God didnt explain it well enough satan was in those ears the whole time