Should YOU Trust the Narcissist? Is He Authentic or Fake? (COMPILATION)

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ธ.ค. 2024
  • Can you trust a narcissist? Is s/he fake or authentic?
    Cognitive distortion, shared fantasy, lack of empathy, no external objects or emotions, entraining, projective identification - how can you trust someone like that?
    Whether to trust a narcissist or not depends on his locus of grandiosity: an inner speech constellation of introjects that resemble a conscience and afford self-regulate as well as impulse and behavioral controls in accordance with a cognitively distorted, fantastic, inflated narrative of self-perception.
    If the narcissist’s fantastic, inflated self-image is about his trustworthiness, reliability, truthfulness, morality, altruism, giving and contributions to the community - then you can trust such a prosocial communal narcissist.
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ความคิดเห็น • 35

  • @alexismerrilldragonqueen
    @alexismerrilldragonqueen ปีที่แล้ว +159

    Trusting a narcissist? I can hardly trust ANYONE, let alone someone with a severe personality disorder who at any point in time is willing to destroy me.

  • @WinterWarlock261
    @WinterWarlock261 ปีที่แล้ว +112

    Trusting a narcissist is like playing Russian Roulette. 5 of the chambers might be empty, but one isn't. And you never know if today is the day you're going to get that one, until it's too late. Smartest thing to do is not take the chance to begin with. Assume all of them are full to begin with, and realize the pointlessness of even taking the risk.

  • @ladycash384
    @ladycash384 ปีที่แล้ว +61

    Trusting a narcissist is like trusting a monster that it will never swallow or destroy you. Folks run...🏃

  • @90210Skye
    @90210Skye 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    "...an absence pretending to be a presence...". Wow.

  • @breemorrison901
    @breemorrison901 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    You can trust the Narcissist to be a Narcissist.

  • @user-rt3wk9ju1g
    @user-rt3wk9ju1g ปีที่แล้ว +18

    This is the crux of why friends & family can't make sense of the contradictory behavior. Thank you, Sam.

  • @collykarma8743
    @collykarma8743 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    I feel that after doing the inner work that I needed to do and watching numerous videos on NPD , you become indifferent to them as you can clearly see how they mimic people and if you just look at them you can actually see nothing of substance ? You can see and feel the emptiness . It’s been heartbreaking realising this even though it nearly killed me ,I felt like I had swapped bodies with him - empty ! Whilst I felt like this he said he felt the happiest he’d ever been ! Compassion from a distance . You can see it everywhere and it’s scary ! Professor Vaknin you are the best lecturer in this field and please don’t stop your work trying to enlighten the world xx

    • @l.sylvester5871
      @l.sylvester5871 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      The empty feeling was so depressing to experience.

  • @eebiggz
    @eebiggz ปีที่แล้ว +27

    How do you know a narcissist is being fake? He’s breathing.

  • @Bubble-hw5pm
    @Bubble-hw5pm ปีที่แล้ว +14

    In a heated argument, he said “you’ve never not once passed any test with me, every single test for a wife you never bleeping passed!” And i thought back on one of your lectures- i cant find it but man.. you are right on the money every time professor.

  • @derfholl5216
    @derfholl5216 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    What I take away from this session is…there is no resolution.

  • @CGermain-s6l
    @CGermain-s6l หลายเดือนก่อน

    Wow, unbelievable how projection onto the victim the terrible unwanted traits and emotions of the Narcissist and the unknown acceptance and now acted out projects can and may cause the Narcissist to despise you as it reminds them of what they are so against…Wow now I can almost feel in my case this is possibly a huge reason for my wife no longer wanting to interact emotionally or intimately with me anymore (19 years married). I have been placed in a 17 month Sexless Marriage in separate rooms as if we are nothing b roommates and every summer for last 3 summers 1 or 2 weeks before going to work at distance work she asks for a Marriage Separation prior on a Government ship up to 12 to 16 weeks (two different tours) in the Canadian Arctic Ocean. Average Crew of ship is 50 Men and 7 women. I have been told plus all the other Signs point to Cheating over atleast the Last six summer/autumn seasons on this Ship. Because I have challenged her about infidelity and she now knows that she can’t hide the truth anymore…She has a Third person ( likely others aswell) and is now pushing for a Early Divorce at approximately the same time she comes off the Ship after the second term is completed. Thankyou Professor Vaknin ..you help so many of us out here…

  • @Watermelonn8990
    @Watermelonn8990 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    If your grandiosity is underpinned in an idea of moral superiority (like being honest, prosocial etc), is this behaviour also some form of pathology of the mind?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Search the channel for “prosocial”, “communal”, “victimhood”.

    • @Watermelonn8990
      @Watermelonn8990 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@samvaknin thank you

  • @arthurlockwood8735
    @arthurlockwood8735 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Lucky to be alive mental health problems with her its not good enough my life is over now 😭🙏

  • @Abdunative
    @Abdunative ปีที่แล้ว +7

    How does it feel for the narcissist to experience amnesia (some things/moments) they dont remember? Second question: Sam, do the psychopath or narcissist get angry when their lies are exposed?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  ปีที่แล้ว +13

      You can't feel anything for things you never remember in the first place. Second question: yes.

    • @Abdunative
      @Abdunative ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@samvaknin true, but don't they feel like something is odd/out of place in that moment? To the second question: sorry what I meant is actually if the psychopath gets angry despite that he doesn't confabulate?

  • @marlyjung4102
    @marlyjung4102 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Do you have a resource for those of us that work with toddlers? How can one tell if they are separating/individualizing? What can on do to help them do so? etc

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Search the channel for "mother"

  • @bjmbijelic
    @bjmbijelic ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Благодарам

  • @PaigeSquared
    @PaigeSquared ปีที่แล้ว +2

    In projective identification from a family of origin, could a child identify with parts that a parent placed on them, well into adulthood? Are there certain signs of this? Keywords i might follow up on?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Yes, this happens. Will dedicate a video to it.

    • @PaigeSquared
      @PaigeSquared ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@samvaknin in the video, I would appreciate if you could comment on the adult child's capacity to differentiate, if that capacity changes while socializing with the system, and what level of interaction can prevent them from growing beyond the family narrative. If there are multiple siblings, are there any patterns in the presentation of projected identification (say in the case of a shared primary caregiver with narcissitic tendencies). Will all have the capacity to step outside of the dynamic? Are there certain traits that make this task more or less challenging/likely to happen, between the siblings?
      I'm not 100% sure, but I do suspect I'm dealing with this. Personally, I often feel like the community reflects the opposite of what my family reflected to me, which is jarring to navigate. I struggle to identify my own strengths and skill sets, and I am always surprised if I am assigned or chosen to be the lead of a group project, in both professional and personal life. I am in my thirties and still feel like I don't have permission to be a "real" person.

  • @cvsmiss7578
    @cvsmiss7578 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I’m being gangstalked by them

  • @jesbecuz
    @jesbecuz ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Ahahaha nope no trust. Used to be trustworthy tho. He changed after he had cardiac arrest. Yes. Never trust one. Liar pants. He broke my phone, computer, monitor, burned my pics and art, abused me physically and mentally and today ..I finally wanted to eat. Saw he had a phone after me trying to get to a dv shelter. Called the cops on me after I heard voices and people. Saying I was on drugs. Turns out I am not crazy! 😊

    • @jesbecuz
      @jesbecuz ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Sir vaknin, you are our hero. Can all of us have one of you?!

  • @Abdunative
    @Abdunative ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Professor vaknin u say around 10:00 in the video that narcissists doesnt lie but dont they, the same as all other people? Disordered or not

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Yes, of course, but not in order to secure goals, like the psychopath. For example: narcissists do not gaslight.

  • @Abdunative
    @Abdunative ปีที่แล้ว

    Professor vaknin, i have experience with a man who seemed to lie, but I wonder if it's confabulation, because he could become violent when u challenged 'the lie'. He always was only nice and charming to get something that he became indifferent again. Would u think he could be, a narcissist or psychopath?

  • @cheezitsw3279
    @cheezitsw3279 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Is there any essential difference between a narcissist and a chatbot?

    • @samvaknin
      @samvaknin  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Search the channel for "chatGPT".

  • @debbiemanning3910
    @debbiemanning3910 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I'm hopelessly in love w a narcissist, I think alot have to do with I feel sorry that he was raised that way😟