The Handwich: Disney's Failed Sandwich of the Future
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 มิ.ย. 2021
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This one got a bit out of hand.
In this video, Kevin explore the history of and makes his own Handwich, Disney's Failed Sandwich of the Future!
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Warning: I misspoke. It’s 7 grams of yeast, not ounces, but hey it’s up to you.
Ok
It's gonna explode if you put 8 ounces of yeast
I mean you are after all the Lilo & Stitch of your handwich
DefunctPan would be neat-ass series, recreating long-gone food products. Someone needs to show that Babish guy up at his game!
198.4 grams of yeast yum
"...And you'll never guess who was responsible for it's creation"
Me: Michael Eisn-
"Michael Eisner..."
Me: SON OF A MOUSE
Michael Eisner has become the Kamen Rider Decade of the Disney History Canon
When in doubt, it's Eisner's fault
My husband thought I was some sort of wizard for shouting out that answer.
…clearly he hasn’t seen enough Defunctland yet
@@logicaltips4107 ONORE EISNER
🤣
@@kamenriderbizzare4726
"Who are you?"
"Just a retiring CEO of Disney. Remember that! Henshin!"
“And you’ll never guess who was responsible for its creation.”
NO! NOT AGAIN! IT'S NOT POSSIBLE!
“It was Michael Eisner.”
Search your feelings, you know it to be true.
All roads lead to Eisner.
He is the genesis of the Odd in this world.
I swear Eisner was doing a "Worst Ideas Speedrun: CEO edition" during his time at Disney
"It was Eisner all along..."
[gasp] we finally know where they got the inspiration for that song!
@@merrittanimation7721 NOOOOOOOOooooo!!! NO!
They thought they were making a culinary breakthrough. Little did they know that Burritos existed.
i dont think eisner has ever even seen a mexican man, let alone mexican cuisine.
Shawarma too😂
or Onigiri
or a sandwich. cut in half
Burritos imo are also easier eaten with two hands, but imo hot pockets filled whatever void hamwiches were trying to fill
the sandwich was literally made to be eaten with one hand, it was created as something that could be eaten while playing cards, and somehow that makes this entire thing even funnier
Eisner was consistently funny while trying his very best to be as serious as possible. Such a dork.
John Montagu, 4th Earl of Sandwich invented the sandwich for that very reason.
@@carlbirtles4518 The 8th Duke of Beaufort, who lived at Badminton House, invented badminton in the mid 19th century (initially as a variant of tennis which used a shuttlecock, which had been introduced to England from India a few years previously), in order to avoid damaging paintings and other valuables when playing tennis indoors.
@@nathangamble125 this is so cool, thanks for sharing
That's not true !
"The first sandwich you can hold in one hand" is such a great line, because it tells you, in one short sentence, that Michael Eisner had a fully-staffed test kitchen, a massive marketing team, and a theme park full of employees, and not a single one of them was willing to break it to him that actually, you can just cut a sandwich in half.
Rolling on the floor laughing
Eisner: you can... cut sandwhiches? Why didn't I know about this!?
He would have fired the person who told that to him on the spot for hurting his fragile ego.
But it wouldn’t be a whole sandwich.
@@digimonlover1632 Hold two halves, in one hand.
I feel like "Castle Cone" sounds so much better and still fits Disney's overall theme
Someone should go back in time and tell Eisner that. Aside from too-out-there ingredients, he was let down by the dumbest marketers on Disney's payroll (and considering everything ELSE, that's _really_ saying something).
I agree
The castle cone legit sounded good.
The handwich sounds like an SNL/MADTv skit...
I totally agree with that statement dude!
Hmm I don't know. Like, out of context I expect "Castle Cone" to be some kind of elaborate ice cream cone, and any time something sounds like it's ice cream but isn't ice cream, my disappointment is immeasurable.
The thing about the Handwich is that it's not immediately a bad idea. If I saw one being offered, I'd definitely try it. But the Handwich is something that's all about the details. How thick is the bread? How viscous are the fillings? It's something that could definitely "work" as a sort of novelty.
I think the real issue with the handwich is that they tried so heavily to market it as a remarkable and mindblowing "sandwich of the future" which doesn't really shore up to the disappointment you get when you bite into what tastes like a normal and generic chicken/tuna salad wrap in the shape of a cone.
If they offered this without all of the disney brand TM patenting and fanfare then I'm sure they would still be selling it to this day. It seems pretty convenient and I can imagine it would taste awesome with a brioche or puff pastry cone with some barbecue chicken, lettuce and onions, or even dessert styled crepe fillings. Just don't try to make it sound like something it's not.
Okay, the cone thing is cute, but I want something crusty. Tastier and more structurally sound
It's like a big Japanese hand roll except instead of filled with rice it's filled with wet stuff that would likely leak.
@@lyndonwesthaven6623i think of they were made of puff pastry they would be delicious
@@carso1500 I'm also here for the cone croissanwich
The whole "This is the FIRST sandwich you can hold with *one hand!*" is pretty dumb, but I'm not gonna lie, this looks perfect for messier sandwiches. The kind of sandwich where you take one bite and half the fillings squeeze out the other end back onto the plate, and you gotta decide if you wanna open the sandwich back up to pile them back in there only to risk the exact same thing happening again, or if you'll just finish your sandwich that 70% bread and then eat the rest of the fillings up with a fork.
Except now, you'd get it all over your face.
I mean, you could also just use flatbread and make a wrap? Tuck the ends in and behold! No spilling.
@@sleepypanda3694 , except wraps often break open and spill anyway.
@@sleepypanda3694 but then you lose that fluffy bread taste and feel
wrap the sandwich in paper like a restaurant, problem solved
I genuinely believe if they had just kept the name "Castle Cone" it would still be around.
Handwich sounds strangely aggressive.
The name definitely sounded cheesy and unappetizing, I agree with Castle Cone being more viable!
I was going to say the same thing, “handwich” is the least magical word I could possibly think of.
I mean, Pokémon nailed it with the _Casteliacone,_ so we know for a fact that it could work...
it also implies that the shape is the novelty, instead of that it could be eaten using your hands. The fact that it was marketed as a revolutionary sandwich you could eat with your hands is so fucking ridiculous that it was bound to fail
Let me get a roast beef knuckle sandwich
it warms my heart to know that the order placed in this video is probably NOT the strangest order the arby’s worker took that day
And this is supposed to be an Arby's in _Limbo!_
I worked at ARby's before and its common for people to order beef and cheddars or roast beef sandwiches without the buns
i feel like that's a pretty normal order tbh. people with celiac disease often order burgers & sandwiches without the bun because most fast food places dont offer gluten-free options
I love that the store section is literally just him recording himself walking into a store, buying a loaf of bread, struggling at the self checkout like everyone else, then just walking out but the voice over made it so intense
I loved the demented ghost of mickey just joining in the chorus of "ha~ndwich!"
defunctland videos: you’ll never guess who was responsible for this insane, batshit bizarre thing at Disney that got made in the late 80’s to early 90’s and everyone hated
Me, leaning forward: was it Michael eisner
Defunctland video: it was Michael eisner
Me, hooting and hollering: HOLY SHIT
ur funny lets get married
@@Nonyah123 hey thanks for performing that lifesaving surgery on my puppy and paying me $50,000,000 dollars, real kind of you
@@Nonyah123 hey man thank you for lending me your batmobile, the operation was successful. My daughter is 9 pounds 2 oz. can't wait to see you at the pool party this Saturday!
@@Nonyah123 omg thank you for saving my family and I from a massive house fire and not to mention you gave us a new mansion with a butler thank you so much 🙏
“HE SAID IT! HE SAID THE THING! I DIDNT THINK THEY’D DO IT BUT THOSE MICKEY EARED FREAKS DONE DID THE THING! GOD BLESS THIS COUNTRY! MICHAEL DING DONG EISNER DID IT AGAIN!”
*slowly begins to sob as fireworks burst intermittently catching a sparkle on a wet cheek as the star spangled banner plays in the background*
Catch me fucking crying because Kevin Perjurer the Defuncland guy made me a handwich and that's the kindest thing anyone has ever done for me.
Went full Mr. Rogers for that one...
Honestly when he said “one for me, one for you” I felt that
we don’t deserve him 🥺🥺
Right in the feels, and right in my desire to have a BBQ Chicken Handwich
when he said “and one for you” I got very emotional I must admit
That Fahrenheit 451/1984 joke just won you a Patreon Sir. I don't know why but it just killed me. I watching this last night and I was still chucking at it this morning.
His ability to casually throw out jokes that punch you 3 times in a row like this never fails to impress me
I know both books but whats the joke if u dont mind explaining?
@@AC-hv4wj Fahrenheit 451's title comes from the fact that Kevin cited, that 451˚F is the temperature at which paper catches fire
IT JUST CLICKED FOR ME THAT 1,984 IS 1984 OMG
I had to scroll way too far to find someone else talking about that joke.
"I guess everyone was right when they called you Two Handwich Kevin" is so unhinged
This is one of those dumb ideas you think up with the bois and then laugh at how stupid it was the next day
This is 100% a Highdea
Except when you’re Michael Eisner you throw a hundred thousand dollars at the idea the next day.
@@cokentutes Michael Eisner has no dumb ideas. Michael Eisner says so.
@@merrittanimation7721 “Isn’t that right, Jeffrey Kittykatzenberg?”
@@ebwarg "Meow" "See, he agrees."
This madman actually goes through the process of studying and recreating Disney's single-hand sandwich, then immediately uses two hands to bite into it
Just because you CAN eat it with one hand doesn't mean it's the best option
I was just thinking this when I read this comment.
Pure instinct is all that is
@@cyber_xiii3786 "Your cooks was so preoccupied with whether they could that they didn't think of whether they should."
SHEAR HERESY!
I love that only about 40% of this video is about the Handwich and the remainder is an incredibly well-produced and drawn-out gag
This man has so much creative energy he had to make every section for the 3 handwiches different. He even mimics the performance style of the different flavors of cooking show perfectly. I actually wanted to punch him a few times during the second section, it mimics annoying modern cooking shows perfectly. I can't believe I slept on this video for so long, this guy is talented in literally everything he does for his content.
We don't deserve Kevin Perjurer, but God saw fit to bless us with him anyway 😂 He's the only creator who can get me to not only watch feature length documentaries but rewatch them too. I won't lie that I miss his more frequent lower-key videos like this one but at least the stuff he is putting out is top notch.
The A e s t h e t i c in this video was AMAZING
I am losing my mind over the amount of production value he crammed into under half an hour
this is the video which made me go from watching defunctland for the content to watching it for kevin (and dreaming of him, too)
"The first sandwich you can hold in one hand."
Greeks: "No."
Mexicans: "No."
Subway: "No."
John Montagu, the 4th Earl of Sandwich, inventor of the sandwich: "No."
My thoughts as well 😂
Like…isn’t the entire POINT of the sandwich that it’s a meal you can eat with one hand?
Hell, I eat lots of sandwiches one-handed! Egg-McMuffins are definitely one-handers.
@@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick I guess. Also, it turns out that by simply calling the Handwich a sandwich, you're being absurd right away. This instantly places Disney in Sandwich Structure Tier III. This is designated "Structural Rebel". Structural Rebels are defined as people who believe that if you contain a food within another food, it's a sandwich. Disney does end up falling in Ingredient Tier I. Designation Ingredient Purist: Requires classic sandwich toppings. But this doesn't change the fact that this "sandwich" is MODELED AFTER AN ICE CREAM CONE.
@@deleetiusproductions3497 oh, don't worry. I don't consider the handwich a sandwich. I consider it a mistake.
I literally burst out laughing. The reveal that Michael Eisner is always the culprit will never NOT be funny.
its always like unmasking a scooby doo villain and I just always imagine him turning to the camera and saying "I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for this bad economy and ignorance of market demands!"
@@jaidasimone_”…again!”
The frames of him stroking his purebred mini snow cat is the epitome of his villainry at 4:08
Hey, spoiler!
That cat did not wanna be there lol.
“let’s try to keep it at a mezzo forte, kevin’s got a headache” is undoubtedly the funniest thing i’ve ever seen on this channel
Would just like to mention that the Cozy Cone still sells unofficial handwiches to this day ! It’s been my go to quick lunch every time I’ve gone this year haha :)
Pray Disney never notices
Cozy Cone is in cars land in Disneys California Adventure. They recycled the concept 😊
I went to Disney World in August and didn't know about this. Otherwise I would have tried it.
"...when in reality, the Handwich rides you" needs to be put on merch
Please stop giving me mean comments. My mother reads the comments I get and she cries a lot because of it. Please be nice, dear rose
@@AxxLAfriku what are you talking about?
Only in Soviet Russia.
@@altoid2097 Spammer, ignore him
Disney would turn his ass inside out if he did that.
"There's a book named after the ignition point of paper, 1984"
That is one of the best jokes I've ever heard.
I had to double back just to be sure I caught that correctly. A perfect low-key Kevin joke.
hang on let me google something real quick
yeah this is funny
Someone help me out here. Is there something deeper than the swap of 1984 and Fahrenheit 451?
As someone studying English Lit at A Level, it still took me a couple of seconds to properly wrap my head around it, but when I did it was brilliant
@@TroyPacelli nope, that's the joke, hahaha.
I love how he starts with what we SHOULD do, and ends with what we're probably GOING TO do, because there's no way we're going to do this experiment using our whole asses.
Im actually unironically interested in the handwich. Eating on the go sounds great. It also reminds me of the crepe. Though I prefer the shrimp and not the salad or macaroni.
Yeah, if done properly, I could easily see myself buying and enjoying this at a park.
I have a great idea for you, if you like "eating on the go". You take two pieces of bread and put something in the middle. It's called a sandwich and you can hold it in one hand.
You can get crepes with savory ingredients served just like this in Tokyo. It's pretty good.
Flat bread. Put all your sandwich ingredients onto it. Tuck in the ends and roll it up. You now have yourself a one handed, on the go, wrap.
There’s something called a pizza cone which is essentially a handwich and it’s actually really good 😭
I like the establishment of three Kevins: 1970s-1980s Public Access Kevin: who scratch-makes his delectable morsels as his voice laps at your inner ear like warm honey, 2000s Daytime TV Kevin: a student of Sandra Lee's "semi-homemade" method, and 2020s Cocaine Kevin: a somewhat distressed man pleading with a service industry worker at 1 AM to fill three bowls of Arby's Beef and Cheddar filling as the voice of Michael Eisner tries to convince him every idea he ever had was a good one.
One more: Lost in the Void Cliffhanger Ending Kevin.
I forgot about that lush Sandra Lee. She made a "cocktail" by drinking Hypnotiq straight.
“Whose voice laps at your inner ear like warm honey” is the most upsetting thing I’ve read this week
defunctlore
@@n0m4nic fun fact: she was going through a divorce at the time
Being told that Michael Eisener was at the New York World's Fair and was alive and at the same place as Walt Disney has *SHATTERED* my sense of time
Me too. I suppose because Eisner's time as CEO seems recent, but he left 15 years ago and was there for a long time. He started as CEO of Disney only 16 years after that world's fair and would have been in his early 40s as an executive. That means he was not just alive during the fair but in his mid 20s.
@@sswpp8908 wait what!? I assumed he was in his 30s when he was CEO & had to be a kid then (around 10)! This is absolutely mind blowing to me
@@sswpp8908 Is Eisner even still alive? I imagine that, if he is, he's getting up in age?
Kinda unrelated , but there’s this clip floating around TH-cam of this 1950’s game show where they brought on the last surviving witness to Lincoln’s assassination. He was 96 at the time of his appearance, and he was 5 on the day Lincoln died. That one really broke me
@@Kaltagstar96 He'll be 80 next year according to Wikipedia.
This is super interesting cause there is actually a place here in Idaho called “Coned” and they too make pizza cones. It’s pizza dough shaped into a cone, loaded with layers of sauce, cheese and other toppings till it’s full, topped with more cheese and baked. It’s actually super delicious and quite popular! It is insanely filling too!
Sounds delicious!
'crepes' in thailand that are like a rather dry crepe as a cone filled with stuff are fairly popular. as in basically every street market will have a vendor.
stuff can be anything. like from ham to fake crabsticks to strawberry jam to cheese.
i'd rather have euro style crepes tbh. and there's just something weird using some pea-corn-paprika mix on a concoction like that.
20:08 "The Handwhich was meant to die. *Let it Stay Dead* "
I need that on a SHIRT LMAO 💀
I think that Defunctland started off with every intention of being a serious documentary series on defunct amusement park properties, but has only become more unhinged as time goes on
As all things should be.
I think we can etch that down as a fact
I’m not mad about it.
The surreal aspect of this episode is definitely unprecedented for this show, but definitely not unexpected. Kevin has always used some form of humor, especially deadpan, to some degree since the beginning. He’s truly cranked it up to 11 though in the more recent episodes.
Now I understand why we always called him "Two Handwich Kevin"
"Implying that you can RIDE the Handwich. In reality, the Handwich rides YOU."
This slogan could have saved the whole damn Handwich
“You’ve ridden Space Mountain. Now experience the only thing in Disney that rides you.”
@@SomeOne-ym4xg I appreciate how it's both vaguely sexy, and vaguely threatening.
They could have even gotten Yakov Smirnoff to promote it!
The cooking show bit was deeply unsettling for some reason, props
spamton sweepstakes vibes
He was copying the style of binging with babish’s videos 😂 idk how nobody noticed that
Honestly, this concept would go over so well at a fair of some kind these days. Like a barbecue sundae, except you can eat the cup. It reduces waste AND increases the food you get per meal.
Why haven't I seen these at the state fair before??
I've seen breadcones at fairs. Shredded chicken or pork cones or meatball cones. They've been around for awhile.
Well now I feel kind of cheated.
👎
That is the very definition of an ice cream cone, burrito, and their origin themselves
An edible, self contained, bowl
No one's talking about that 1984 joke, but that was solid. Props, Kevin
It WAS solid and I busted a gut. But, those who understand, understand. No need to educate the rubes. :P
Straight up laughed out loud.
It went by so quick but I loved it
Was expecting it after seeing this comment but it still caught me by surprise, absolute gold
I mean, it isn't as good as "handwich rides you", but it is a damn good joke.
“There is actually a great book about this that states the auto-ignition temperature right in its title.
*It’s called 1,984.”*
GODDAMN YOU HOW ARE YOU SO FUNNY TO LIGHT PIANO IN 240P
Although it was in fact another dystopian future novel, by Ray Bradbury, with a number in its title.
@@FreihEitner i knew it, it was Catch 22
(i'm kidding but it would spoil the joke if I said the real book, which uses the Freedomland units of temperature measurement)
@@texasyojimbo Fahrenheit was the standard measurement for all of the English-speaking world before.
I had to stop the video and just say out loud to myself "Wow. That was a really good joke!"
I don't think we should let Disney forget this. We should bring it up every year like annoying aunts at thanksgiving just to embarrass them.
In Hollywood Studios at Fairfax Fare they now sell “mashed potato waffle bowls” with buff chix, korean bbq, or beef brisket. During the training the language used around the condensed, fully edible food being “cutting edge” was very similar. They’re definitely recycling the idea.
my life has forever changed with this revelation
dang RT you also watch this channel that's cool
Damn bestie ya watch defunctland?? Pog
Hi rt
YES I AGREE
It's always lovely to see when you tubers i like watch other youtubers I like
"It was Michael Eisner"
HOW MANY TIMES DO WE HAVE TO TEACH YOU THIS LESSON OLD MAN?
I love the young people.
@@TheAnubis57 and the movie splash, to I would say, unhealthy degree 🤣
Fun fact if you take a shot every time you hear the word ‘handwich’ by 10 mins in you’ll be drunk enough to attempt making your own handwich at 4am by yourself.
Also do not do this.
If you listen to this with CC, the screen fills with SANDWICH text in that last scene. It's almost more terrifying than the scene
I went back and rewatched that part with CC on, thank you. You’re absolutely right, it was horrifying and I loved it.
"She's a sweetheart but a bit of an arsonist" is something I would only expect to hear on this channel and yet it still caught me off guard
Gonna use this line as a song lyric
Is my daughter Wednesday Addams
it reminded me of klee from genshin impact lol
@@immortaluglyfish2724 Now, to find a rhyme for "arsonist"...
@@chompythebeast botanist, something with "pissed" and uhhhhh... lemon twist?
"Say the line, Kevin!"
"It was Michael Eisner."
"YAAAAAY!"
"Top o the morning to ya!"
"Oldest anarchy server in Minecraft"
"it was Michael Eisner"
Woozle-Wozzle?
When I went to Budapest this summer bread cones filled with stuff like sausages, cheese, sauerkraut, etc. seemed to be pretty popular as street food. So clearly at least some people are into the idea.
Kolbice! It's a play on words with "kolbász" (sausage) and "ice cream". I tried it once and I think it's kind of a gimmick - a bit messy, tastes ok but not good enough to make you want to come back for more.
My daughter went to DCA recently on a school trip. While making her plans, she discovered one of DCA's snack locations (Cozy Cone Motel 3) is currently serving three varieties of Handwich. She took a group of her friends and tried the lot. Says it was the highlight of her whole trip.
is she also a arsonist?
I love how Eisner can't catch a break even when it's just a fucking sandwich.
or the other way - that eisner couldn't succeed - even with sandwiches!
Honestly, the 'Handwich' would have been a tasty, fun treat for Disney had they not marketed it as a "revolutionary, sandwich of the future" that promised to be more than it actually was. That being: just a weirdly-shaped sandwich.
Castle Cone was a better name, imo.
Yeah, I think I agree. While it's hardly a revolutionary idea, it's not exactly a terrible idea. It's "a sort of weirdly-shaped sandwich", so it's kind of odd that it was an outright failure. I could see a food cart selling them and being somewhat successful.
If you're eating from the top, I could see these being actually kind of nice. With just one hand, it seems like a nice way to keep all the filling *in* the sandwich
The problem for me is that the cone-shape makes the filling unevenly distributed: you'll start with only eating salad and end with only eating bread.
But you can probably alleviate that problem with different cone-shapes or different layers of filling.
I agree that it could be a minor hit as a fun novelty food, without all that "future of food" nonsense
i want the pulled chicken one
Handwich: the first sandwich that you can hold with ONE hand!!!
Hotdog:
And then there is that debate on whether or not a hotdog is a sandwich.
@@myriadmediamusings after all of this time someone finally said the response I was waiting for lol
I absolutely love the one thousand nine hundred and eighty-four joke. Brilliant.
alternate names for the handwich that could have helped it take off:
-conewich
-flavor triangle
-the statue of liberty's torch, but delicious
-the forbidden party hat
-eisner's scourge upon humanity
if they named it Eisner's scourge on humanity half of Disney parks would have the same name
I think "Eisner's scourge upon humanity" was the working title for "Superstar Limo"
Funny, I would’ve called it “Disney’s Conewich.” *The only sandwich you can eat in the shape of a cone*
Forbidden party hat is my fav lol
Why aren’t you working at Disney? Theses are GENIUS!
"The paper will not catch fire. There's actually a great book about this which states the auto ignition point of paper right in its title. It is called one thousand nine hundred and eighty-four." So many fucking layers to this joke it might as well be an onion.
But the auto ignition point is actually 451 F? I don't get it
@@pablossjui the joke is the book with the ignition-point title is Fahrenheit 451 but he references the book 1984 (reading it as a number instead of a year) instead
@@amoureux6502 And that they're both works of dystopian fiction that people constantly mistake for the other. A bit like how some people seem to think lines from Paradise Lost are actually from the Bible.
Thank God I'm working from home because I burst out laughing at that line.
I burst out laughing at this, beautiful joke
I love this energy. The history of your burn marks, the child arsonist, the “hiyah”. It just all is so silly and delightful. I do wonder if the fun 2005 baking show outfit was something from your own closet.
In defense of the Handwich name, I like its “one letter off from Sandwich” thing, and compared to “Castle Cones”, it seems more overt with its whole sandwich deal, while with the latter, some might’ve instinctively (and incorrectly) picture it as an *ice cream* cone
“it was michael eisner.” HE CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS
Spoilers, He Didn't.
@@mimkyodar yeah his net worth is only 1 billion jokes on him
YOU POISONED BROCK
PLEASE as soon as he said “you’ll never guess who was behind it” I was like oh my god here we go
He is the human definition of “Goddamnit old man, not again!”
Kevin: “It was Michael Eisner”
Everyone: *Surprised Pikachu face*
Wow, must be a day that ends in Y
It's ALWAYS Michael Eisner 😭
**Peewee Herman voice** AAAAAHHHH YOU SAID THE MAGIC WORD AAAAAAHHHH
Amazing that even given a keyboard and ample space to type words, people instead choose to describe what a meme might look like.
@@mercster certain subsets of culture are evolving past language. Most people don't even have a firm enough grasp on regular English, let alone whatever we would like to call "meme culture" so they use it as a replacement mainly for informal situations
THE FIRST SANDWHICH YOU CAN HOLD WITH ONE HAND LMAOOOO.
They really tried it
Whoever dreamed that up must’ve had some dainty little fingies 🤏
Yeah, I often wondered about that myself. This was made doubly absurd since they came with a fork.
@@TheBlueB0mber Probably holds their tea with a pinky up too.
I guess before phones were big, everyone was holding sandwiches
Okay, but that Mac and cheese one actually looks fire
This is like when the one kid in your group project keeps insisting on using their really stupid idea because they're convinced it will improve the project tenfold, only here that kid is an executive for one of, if not the largest entertainment conglomerates on the planet
"Oh, and some mozzarella sticks."
"You want four or six?"
" *SIX* "
Those are rookie numbers
@@A_Toaster yea. A true pro eats like 24 in 1 sitting so ye rookie numbers
one always needs a snack when “cooking” (i.e. assembling a handwich in a fevered state at midnight)
Saying five at this very moment would have been a power move.
The deep Defunctlore with that one
"the first sandwhich you can hold in one hand"
FUCK this grilled cheese is so heavy and unweildy, gah, if only I could hold it one hand!
Lmfao
What mortal man has the strength to lift a whole BLT with one hand I ask you.
WHAT MORTAL MAN?!
Ironic because the legend of the invention of the sandwich was like that to begin with.
Supposedly John Montague, the Fourth Earl of Sandwich, had a gambling habit and he wanted something he could eat with one hand to keep his cards in the other hand. So he ordered his cooks to make something along those lines and then later his friends started ordering "the same thing as Sandwich"
@@ashkitt7719 it’s because some kids found a witch serving magic food at the beach stop spreading misinformation
@@ashkitt7719 iirc sushi was invented around the same time by another dude who wanted a card hand and a food hand
i love that this video could’ve just been about how they created an okay product but the marketing didn’t really you can hold and eat almost any other kind of sandwich in one hand, but instead it was funny and chaotic and “she’s a bit of an arsonist” absolutely killed me
Came to learn about the handwich, stayed for the emotional journey to make the third hanwich 😭
I came to watch about how the handwich failed. But I ended up getting an epic cinematic journey on how to make them in many different ways. Did not expect this at all!
Huh. Didn't expect to find you here, Darzeth.
... So, uh. Not sure what else to say. Hope you have a pleasant rest of your day?
@@habstab6551 heya
Look up Japanese crepes
What's up, checkmark
Same here. I think I'll make one of my own like a pb&j
I love the idea that Michael Eisner just never heard of a crepe
When I visited New Orleans, there was a resturaunt that served savory crepes with meat, cheese, and vegetables, just like a Handwich.
@@InventorZahran do they not have these where you live? 😥
I mean there are savory crepes, I haven't eaten a authentic crepe but I'd recon the texture would be different because the bread part of handwiches are actual bread, in that case burritos and anything wrapped in tortilla really is a handwich then
@@InventorZahran they have a stand that sells savory crepes like that at Universal Studios
Or tacos or any kind of street food that involves bread.
I am just so relieved that I am not the only person who thinks about that book whenever I put paper in the oven or have paper near any sort of heat or flame at all. Thank you Defunctland, I feel human again.
I can't believe you got a whole audience for this one. You go above and beyond, man
Love the fact that making the BBQ sauce involves onion, cider vinegar, sugar, and an entire bottle of store-bought BBQ sauce.
THINKING QUICKLY, KEVIN CONSTRUCTS A HOMEMADE BARBECUE SAUCE USING ONLY SOME ONION, VINEGAR, SUGAR, AND BARBECUE SAUCE.
Lmao I worked at an insanely busy steakhouse that claimed to make their own BBQ sauce. It was literally just heating up Open pit and mixing it with liquid smoke 😂
Hot sauce at a pizza place I worked at was just Frank's red hot with pepper, crushed red pepper, garlic, and an herb that might have been oregano but I don't remember clearly. Really improved it though.
That reminds me of a story, in second grade me and a few kids somehow got interested in making peanut butter. We all went home made the best peanut butter we could, bring it to school to determine a winner. This guy wins and I’m talking to him asking how he made it. And he’s like “oh yeah it’s mostly jif” like goddamnit man that doesn’t count lol
Hey man, Joe's BBQ is no joke!
“The first sandwich you can eat with one hand” was an especially funny line considering I’m literally eating a sandwich with one hand right now
Well with a normal sandwich the ability to hold it one handed depends on many variables like the size of the hand and the portion, the ingredients and their amount, how it's cut and whatnot. But handwich kind of ensures that _everyone_ can hold it in one hand no matter what.
Yeh, that line's dumb. Still, the Handwich seems like a cool idea.
Yeah that's what I'm thinking. I mean the whole point of a sandwich is that you can (mostly) hold it in one hand.
I'm eating a folded tortilla with one hand.
@Argus Big time, all due to a man's love for poker.
Dude, this video is a masterpiece. You did such a good job emulating a mid-aughts cooking-show-within-another-show-that-has-a-live-audience. Even the announcer voice sounded spot on, with that high energy, excited tone of voice popularized by MTV back then. And the handwhich at the end that's basically a sub sandwich with arby's meat 🤣
I laughed, I cried, and at the end I called my mother to tell her I love her. Chef's kiss, my friend!
The latter half of this video was both hilarious and chaotically insane. I loved every moment, and I bet thar poor Arby's worker was so confused.
“Please stop clapping it freaks me out when I’m using a knife”
“God I’m tired” - nearly inaudible 😂
...as I had to pause at the intentional swapping of 451 and 1984. Well played, sir. Well played.
That was beautiful.
I love how chaotic that "Defunct Kitchen" segment was. Like, you're daughter is an arsonist, and to try to get her principal to not expel her, you're gonna make a handwich? Fantastic. Perfect solution. 😃
That dystopian novel joke was quick and much appreciated 😂
"I'm making two handwhiches. One for me... And one for you." is truely one of the most tender things I've heard. On par with "I want us to eat well."
*Tenderrrr.*
- TJ Detweiler
Not gonna lie, I teared up a little when he said that
"There was a book about this with the temperature right in the title: one thousand nine hundred and eighty four" was worth a like.
I had to pause the video and immediately tell my roommate about that joke. my reaction was visceral.
.....
Holy fuck that went right over my head the first time
I had to pause the video and go check that it was 451. Kevin is THAT convincing.
It actually looks good to me. Almost like an ice cream cone with savory fillings. I’d try it.
That joke about the temperature that paper burns at probably went over everyone’s head 😂 love that
I'm saying it now
The Handwich is just a premium Hot Pocket
Yeah pretty much. I was thinking the whole time "This is just a hot pocket except Hot Pocket did it better".
@@Soufriere84
They don't sell Hot Pockets where I live (SEA), so I was thinking I might as well try a handwich the next time I can.
A circumcised Hot Pocket.
Calling it "the first sandwich you can hold in one hand" could not be more wrong because I think the sandwich as we know it now was invented when John Montagu (the 4th Earl of Sandwich) wanted to easily enjoy meat and bread while he was playing cards. The sandwich was invented so he could eat with one hand and hold his cards in the other. So, it's very likely that the first sandwich you can hold in one hand was... literally the first sandwich ever.
Except Sandwiches go back to ancient Rome (mainly meat in pita bread)? The Earl just invented the modern version.
@@NodDisciple1 yeah the sandwich has been here since forever, sandwich’s are my favorite because they are so diverse. Tortas are my favorite.
No, it was to keep the grease off of his hands that would have stained his cards.
Well didn't know that little fun fact - so thank you! But I was thinking the same thing! Isn't like every sub sandwich a handwhich if you have decent one handed motor skills!? 😂😂😂
i think the funniest thing about it is that even if you go on the bend of "well those sandwiches aren't all that revolutionary", the first major "fast food" restaurants were truck stops that made their sandwiches to cater to truckers who needed to be eating while driving to make good time. So they made burgers with durable wrappers to keep the sandwiches together and, more crucially, the fries included within the burger and a disposable cup for the drink. From there, we have an ENTIRE MEAL that can be eaten one-handed, not just the sandwich.
If you wanna go a different route, White Castle made sandwiches that were very bite-sized and could be easily mass-produced by one person due to the simplicity of the sliders' topping choices.
16:23 having seen DankPods' review of the Roy Joys makes the sentence "and the bass is great on these!" extremely funny to me
I love that Kevin _deliberately_ eats each Handwich with two hands just to thumb his nose at the tagline. XD
Is it Disney? Is it the 80s? Does it sound like an idea somebody came up with at the tail end of a 3 day coke bender?
...Then it's probably an Eisner.
This made me laugh so much man. I love that you exist.
Whoever you got for this 50's VA is nailing it.
Edit: If DefunctPan becomes a regular thing, Kevin needs to make Pirate Ship Tuna Burgers.
He definitely should make DefunctPan another series.
@@trystan7533 I smell a Babish crossover!
And it smells… _delicious._
Honestly a side series where Kevin tries to recreate old theme park food & drink would be kinda fun to see, especially if he shared the recipes. Like Mythical Kitchen’s Past Food series, but with 100% more jabs at Michael Eisner.
@@anone.mousse674 oh that be amazing.
@@MrSkerpentine Defunctpan: A mix of history, nostalgia, and Jabs at bad ideas.
I was not prepared for the level of existential nightmare this turned into 😂
My word, I’ve been more attracted to this man and his endeavors than in this moment.
Wait can't sandwiches already be eaten with one hand? I'm so confused why they thought this needed to be made
I feel like this is something you could just do with a savory crepe.
In the word of Yogurt "MERCHANDISING!!!"
Isn't that the legend behind their creation? Some dude wanted to eat while gambling so he commissioned food he could eat with one hand.
If your sandwich has like 2 dry fillings, then yes you can, anything above that number or slightly wet is a disaster waiting to happen.
@@merrittanimation7721 No? Sandwiches were popularized by the Earl of Sandwich, who liked to put his meat in between bread.
I came in expecting a “Binging With Babish” kind of style show with Kevin’s expected spin on it; and yet I’m still blown away at the creativity.
It's like if Binging With Babish met WandaVision
You were expecting Bimbish and I was hoping for a Handwich "Will it Blow?"
Seriously, tho, I could watch hands on a screen make food all day long.
Amusement park-themed collaboration when
@@foxyfoxington2651 And 3...2...1.
Let's sausageee~!
@@foxyfoxington2651 how many Mark Ruffalos would a handwich be
It's like Disney completely failed to take into account that "meat and vegetables wrapped in bread which can be eaten with one hand" is a concept that has existed across cultures around the world for at least a century by then
Sounds like Disney to me.
the Farenheit 451 joke was so smart it made me feel like i passed a test in AP Lit back in highschool again
I exclusively eat food that has been described as being “Disneylicious”.
your range of consumable food is either very limited or nearly infinite. who needs to describe something as disneylicious? disney themselves or you? but how can you call something disneylicious if you can’t yet eat it to make that call? you’ve left us all with more questions than answers
I hereby declare- ALL FOOD, DISNEYLICIOUS
that must be an expensive diet
@@yotsuba6352 under what authority? you haven’t tried every food.
@@logandunlap9156 That’s just what they want you to think
“Implying that you could ride the handwich” was the line that absolutely sent me
You can ride anything if you try hard enough. 😼
I would have gone with, "if you bought one, you got taken for a ride."
That pulled BBQ chicken literally got me to take cooking more seriously. Thanks for this unhinged theme park related cooking video.
I've never seen a culinary invention so effectively roasted in that baking section, which was also a fantastic retread of cooking show styles!
i love how Kevin's topics vary from the incredibly complicated dynamics of queuing behaviour and systems applied to alter it, to Fucked Up Samwidge
*sammich
**hanmmich
* * * sahfbei iich
Schamich
“Sandwedge”
“Let alone anyone but Michael Eisner” should be the title of the eventual Disney+ documentary about his wacko ideas
I’m pretty sure Eisner ran Disney drunk the whole time
@@irishcorn7140 but he did keep it afloat at a time where people wanted to sink the ship
@@irishcorn7140
Iger did it stoned.
Chapek broke into the illegal drugs like heroin and crack.
I would spend my drug money on that book.
It could even get Kevin to narrate the documentary.
I love how each successive handwich you made was lower effort than the last