ASMR | A Discussion of Conversation Skills (Soft Spoken)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ต.ค. 2024
- NOTE: The silent film that I mentioned was "The Diary of a Lost Girl". It's German with English subtitles and was made in 1929. You can see it here: • Diary of a Lost Girl (...
And if you're interested, you can see the video on the history of screws here: • Robertson, Phillips, a...
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This video relates to the topic of conversation skills (or the lack thereof). It's a ramble based on a few notes that I made beforehand - tips for being a better conversationalist. I hope you enjoy it. :)
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I think oftentimes people don’t keep in mind that we are some of the first generations to be ignored by our parents in favour of cell phones. I’d come home from school to an empty house, my parents would get home 1-2 hours later and be on their phones right until my bedtime. Hard to develop conversation skills as a young person when in the limited time you get with your parents, you are ignored in favour of Facebook. I remember the hurt of sitting in the living room at night trying to talk to them but getting completely ignored or just getting vacant head nods. I was so resentful of those phones that I wanted to smash them with a hammer. If you’re a parent then please please never lose moments with your kids in favour of endless scrolling
This is.. surprising.
“You’re not unworthy of this moment”... Wow I didn’t know how much I had to hear that Mary, thank you 🙂💕
I definitely think you should keep that sweater. You look so cute and it makes you happy!!! ☺
I noticed that you suggested reading more--if you feel like it, I think a lot of people would like videos where you talk about what you're currently reading
Great idea, I certainly would like that, thanks for suggesting it.
Oh yes! Mary’s Book Club!
This has always been an issue. I attribute it to a very, "kid's are not to be seen or heard" upbringing. You better not be around while the adults are talking. But if that didn't deter you, being talked down to and made to feel stupid for everything that ever came out of your mouth, got the point across. I'm definitely using this to do better and I always assume that when people have these issues, that they have the same anxieties I do. I love your momma Mary's lectures, even though I too am mid 40's.
I love your look today- I’m getting 80’s vibes
Edit watched the video- and you acknowledged it’s from the 80s so I guess the vibes were correct haha
I would love another part to this! I enjoyed hearing your perspective. I think something else important is not to interrupt others. I tend to be quieter and speak a bit slower and a lot of people in my life that I talk to have the tendency to interrupt me. It’s important not to do that, especially with those who might be shy, because that may make them more hesitant to talk.
I’ve never had a hard time conversing once the ice is broken, but the initiation of communication is definitely something I still struggle with.
Your whole fashion and personality just SCREAMS art teacher to me! I love your sense of style and how sweet you are. Love these vids! Keep ‘em going! 💗💗💗
This was a GREAT video!!! I also have found that just by complimenting a person on anything really helps break the ice! I’ve had some really cool conversations with strangers n stores before and when I go to leave I always say it was so nice to talk with u. They always smile and say thank u! I agree we definitely need to put down our phones and teach our kids to do the same!!! Thank u for this awesome video Mary!!!!
I studied theatre in college, and it was basically conversations 101. we studied scripts down to the word, basically performed conversations, and had to communicate among the design team to make sure there was a coherent vision. it really helped with the ebb and flow that you talked about!
As a communication studies major, its insane when you learn just how bad people are at communication.
This is super helpful. I've always struggled with talking to people I don't know well.
That sweater is baller, also.
I am so awkward and have a little bit of social anxiety. This was incredibly helpful.
I dont know about others but eye contact is personally super uncomfortable almost painful for me. My eyes and head hurt so bad when I try to make eye contact and I'm not sure why.
Try to take deeper breaths. You might be tensing up and not breathing well enough and it’s hurting your head. Drink more water too. Easy stuff. Good luck
Your look reminds me of Phoebe From Friends ,
Cool !
OMG mary - this was the best video ive seen in awhile. I was engaged in what you had to say the WHOLE video. Such a great topic to discuss. Wish we could all more great conversations :)
I 100% agree w you Mary, those people who listen to respond rather than listening just for the sake of listening, are extremely draining.
Love this and ALL of your videos. For the 40+ viewers (or ANYONE ) that may recall ... This sweater brings me so back to the late 80’s that I fell like I am inside a Benetton store and can just about smell the scent of Colors in the air. Good memories. I feel you should keep it for sure!!!! Thank you for all you do Mary. Have a wonderful day.
Thank you! :)
This is a really sweet and genuine video idea, and you talk about it so calmly. Thank you!
I always start by complimenting something. Like I would say, "Oh Mary!!!! I love your sweater. The 80s look looks wonderful on you!!" I have worked most of my life in customer service in one aspect or another.
Total gem! One on conversation skills for job interviews would be amazing too!
I am obsessed with your sweater. It’s adorable! What an amazing find.
I LOVE THAT SWEATER
Props to you for remembering where you got all your jewelry... love it all!
I’m 52 and have had social anxiety since high school and find a conversation quite difficult. However, I’ve always been very good at eye contact. I am quite shy and awkward and this always gets noticed. It’s not an easy thing to overcome especially when it’s ingrained in you.
My daughter used to be an introvert but is really confident and sure of herself now, but as a typical teenager she’s always on her phone or got her air pods in. I agree with you that parents don’t talk to their kids enough though my daughter and I are very close so we talk a lot. Kids cease to exist without their phones but also a lot of adults too. Luckily when I was growing up we didn’t have technology so my generation had communication skills. Conversation is an art but a lost one.
This is actually so helpful thank you Mary! I'm faceblind so I have a very hard time with reading peoples faces and making the sppropriate amount of eye contact and things like that. I'll try some of your suggestions the next time I'm talking to someone new face-to-face. Informative and sleep inducing 😌
I recently got mad at my friend who constantly speaks over me. I usually let it slide but I got really angry this time because it's been a constant issue. He seemed a bit shook because of my outburst and apologized. Apparently he didn't realize he was doing it. I find social situations difficult, especially eye contact but I've been working on it though and have been asking more questions and it has helped. Thanks for another awesome video!
Been watching your videos for probably a year now and you are funny sarcastic witty sweet and adorable. Thanks for making me smile through a rough year. 🌹
Screens have definitely weakened conversational skills and other social skills. I recommend Jean Twenge's book iGen. I love your advice here. I'm trying to teach my kids to have conversations. And great sweater!
Dear Mary,
I really enjoyed watching this ASMR Video. One ASMR trigger I have and it use to really relax me in highly stressful times. Is from my co workers from different European countries. I use to deal with complaints and other people problems. But what really relaxed me in mood was going out for my 15 minute break with a hot drink. Sitting outside in the fresh air. Then I use to overhear the conversation of two other workers that was conducted in Polish or Portuguese. It was so relaxing. I didn’t know what they were saying . But the conversation was slow and gentle sounding. Very relaxing all most peaceful. It would instantly make me feel relaxed. Thank you for all your Amazing ASMR Videos.
The joke at the end😆 I also love someone’s idea to make videos about the books you’re reading!
Carl can learn a lot from this video
Came here for much needed advice and finding myself laughing , oh my 😂 love it Mary
The "let them talk" but "do not take over the conversation" parts of your video are really relevant now; I feel like people are craving contact and face to face talking due to lockdown and restrictions - whenever I am online with someone, it seems like people are not listening, just waiting for me to take a breath so that they can get in :o) it is good to watch people when talking to them, you can usually say pretty well when they stop to listen
i wish this video could go viral lol so many people are not so great conversationalists. my biggest pet peeve is when someone only wants to talk about themself, or you ask them something and they reply but don't ask you what you think about it. or, if they just expect you to control the conversation and they dont offer up anything that facilitates a back and forth. i don't know how people expect to make friends or find a partner if they can't even show an interest in someone else. if i see someone say online that they're lonely and want new friends/someone to chat with i will sometimes message them but it usually becomes obvious why they're lonely. it's hard to connect with someone if they're poor conversationalists.
I think that conversational skills and manners should be mandatory topics in school. It is a life skill that can be learned and conversational confidence can help overcome at least some social anxieties. I used to be really bad at having pleasant small talk because there is not a strong focus in Germany on small talk. Once I lived in the US for a while where small talk is much more common even among strangers, I got better at it and became more confident.
i’m so glad I found your channel you make me so happy!! and I love that sweater!!
i’ve always struggled talking to others idek if it’s just me or due to my anxiety disorder/repressed trauma that i just pushed others away. i don’t think the last year has helped at all😅 but ngl not having to go into school has been a godsend for me as i’ve been able to focus on trauma recovery
I obsess over color and that cardigan is everything. 🧡💙💛💚❤️💜🤍
This was wonderful, thank you so much. I would love to hear more from you about conversing.
I could talk to a tree and have no problem finding something to say. . That being said I love to compliment a stranger and watch their face light up! It gives me such joy.
You're such a wonderful woman. You've been helping me sleep for 4 years!
Big love from Ireland ☘
One of the creepiest things that seems to have become more normal now in the age of cell phones is people calling back numbers that called them but didn’t leave a voicemail. 🤨 I can’t tell you how many times I’ve answered my work phone and the rando calling says ‘Yeah, I missed a call from this number.” I’m like...”okay...? I’m sorry to hear that?” 🤷🏻♀️ If someone called you but didn’t bother to leave a voicemail then why on Earth are you just calling the number back? We didn’t used to know if someone called us, like you said, so unless they left a voicemail or called again it was really none of our business. Now there’s some weird compulsion to call every number back just because it called your number? Maybe it was a wrong number! If they don’t leave a voicemail then just leave it alone and if they need you they’ll call again. So weird.
that’s because no one waits for voicemails to come on/no one even listens to their voicemails anymore. the most i do is look up a number and if i see no results then i’ll call it back or i’ll dial through *67. most people just call and will become annoyed before it goes to voicemail if you don’t answer. i’m failing to see how that’s weird at all but that’s because different generations are brought up in different ways. there’s really no harm in calling a number back so i’m just confused on why you’re so dumbfounded by it
The black and white trim on the sweater is on trend right now!
I wanted a leather color block jacket from merry go round so bad in the 80s. I can still see it on the hanger up high 😆 🤣 😂
Hi Mary!! What you said was definitely true.. I wish I could hear my dear Dad and Mother telling me stories of when they were growing up again... I miss it!! I love your cardigan!!!! I It’s definitely a keeper for you!! Thank you for sharing this intellectual discussion with us.. I’ve realized since the pandemic and before it was harder for me to talk and carry on a conversation...
God Bless You Mary for what you do for us.. Hugs hon!! 🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗❤️🤗
I've been trying to learn english during these quarantine, and this video in particular has helped me a lot. Thank you.
Perfect timing, school night, best ASMR conversation talks here ❤️
You're lovely Mary,I'm sure your videos help more people than you could ever imagine x
100% compliments particularly given that we're hardly seeing anyone just now. I still remember years ago I was waiting to be picked up and 2 girls complimented me on my dress. Made my day.
I really enjoyed this. Agreed with everything you said.
you look like a pretty picture. you remind me of fun times if that makes sense lmao
Hello from Connecticut I love your ASMR channel!!!! Your style is up my alley too!!! Yay to the 80s ladies!
🧡💛💙💚💜💝💖
Dr. Smith sounds like she'd be a fun character for a role play! Thank you for this video, Mary.
this helped, thankyou for this video ☺️❤️
I really wish we could go back to pre-mobile phone. Though I'd miss these videos. It used to be so nice to be contacted.
You are the most wholesome person ever 💕
Honestly , the elderly do have the most interesting stories to tell! Especially ones who have served for us. Just earlier this month I was informed about how pre-Cold war the US exercised its military might 🙄 out in the Marshal Islands by detonating 66 nuclear/atomic/biochemical weapons. The Enewetok Atoll and Bikini Atoll were the two islands that were hit with the brunt of said bombs. It sent me down a rabbit hole for sure after finding out that our forces were sent there to “clean up” the nuclear waste there after having been the ones who were solely responsible for it.
Hey Mary. Hope you are doing well. Glad you did a video. I truly needed it tonight. Thank you. 😁😁💖💖 Mary you are styling and profiling tonight. The cardigan is a keeper girl. You are an amazingly sweet and good person.
This was a great video. I've never had a problem with conversations or speaking with others. Ironically enough, I've always "felt" I do. It's weird. People say I'm a great speaker but I don't know, during or right after I got done talking, I'm like what in the world was I just saying LOL
They'll tell me that I was making perfect sense...I have no idea what they were listening to lol!
Love the combo you have its cool, unique, fun and fierce. LOVE IT! And the Adidas pants👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻 you look FAB
I think that the internet and social media has made kids and teenagers to become more closed to themselves, and of course the pandemic has helped a lot
Your hair looks so awesome like that!!! Totally goes with your outfit, love it 😍
Like a soft spoken Ted Talk. It was great. Thank you.
I have that same cardigan! It’s literally my favorite thing I own🌈
Yeah I’ve noticed this too I talked to a lot of people for work because I’m an eligibility technician with the state of Alaska for public assistance so I speak to many different people. Very surprised. I feel like my time in debate in high school is very helpful to help me expand my skills in this especially with someone that has anxiety.
This was amazing! Thank you!
mary your outfit looks awesome! i love it so much. also thank you for the great video!
I just moved to a new country and have really been struggling to connect with people especially since university is all online so I'm excited to watch
I also noticed that I have a hard time maintaining eye contact whenever I talk to ppl older than me. I think it's bcos I maybe intimidated by them thinking they might find my opinion irrelevant since I'm younger? Or maybe it comes from my insecurities?
Yes, I have the same problem. Actually I don't really know the reason ¿?¿ sometimes I do my best to make eye contact with older people or people that I don't know very well, but I fail and maybe they think that I'm a freak who can't look at them 💀
Omg Marie are u in my mind ? I was literally thinking about this the entire day as I'm having so much trouble participating in my online class lately. 😔
Yes I really don't like talking to people.
Oh my god, I love your sweater!
Thank you Mary. Because I talk to people in chat rooms on the mic. And I don't know how to keep the conversation going.
Gah, I love this sweater. It looks brand new!
Thank you so much I needed this video
Thank you so much for this video :)
Hello I love your Barnes and Noble and library tour videos please do More when you can thank you.
Thank you for this video
My pleasure
I just wanted to say I really like your whole outfit!
Love the sweater
I agree! Great great topic!
Are those the Costco adidas pants? I love them!
Dr. Smith was like 👁👄👁
I love the sweater!
You look amazing Lady...Also thank you for such great content...😁💞
I love that sweater!!!
Sweater is fly, nice 👍
I LOVE your outfit 💜
Yes I have a hard time keeping eye contact. And people think you're lying when you don't look at them in the eye.
I’m loving your 80s look. The hair too! You need some stone washed pegged jeans with the zipper at the cuff.
Mary always gives me cool librarian vibes
I know its perceived as rude, but I find that if I have my eyes focused on something else - using my phone, drawing a picture, or playing with something with my hands - it takes the stress off me. I dont have to meet thier eyes and dont feel as anxious about making conversation. Then again, I feel unsettled if my hands/mind are not engaged all the time. So I'm not sure it's my lack of social skills or something else cropping up.
I struggle with terrible social aniexty so when people talk to me I struggle to carry on a conversation even saying hello is a challenge, it's always been a problem me, this is really helpful though thank you 😊
Love that sweater❣️
Lovely video. Subscribed
This is a topic that is actually smart to talk about but hard to explain I think you did well lol being 20 I can see what you mean as I become mature I see how this does matter
My observation is that there’s actually an unfortunately large section of the population that have poor communication skills. I’m a receptionist at a vet hospital and we’re currently assisting everyone curbside only and so people will call when they arrive and simple say “Yeah I’m here with fluffy.” “Okay.?? And what are we here for today?” “An appointment” “okay I’m going to need your first and last name please!”
I have to thank you for making this. I've noticed the younger generations getting worse in communication. I remember there being studies that millennials and Gen Z people who are always on their phone would not be prepared for interviews and job life environment.
I've seen it first hand and it kind of baffles me. I remember the days where you memorized everyones number and called them when you got home. Today, completely different world.
This video definitely will help people of all ages and needed for the world today.
Love the sweater❤🙂