High Conflict Child Custody: Representing Yourself
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 มิ.ย. 2024
- Sometimes you don't have any choice but to represent yourself. I share my experiences with the family court system and offer some advice on representing yourself.
Here's a link to the original version of this video: • Original: Representing...
I'm not an attorney. Nothing in this video is intended to constitute legal advice.
For inquiries, feel free to contact me through www.theproperperson.com
Exactly! Just like you said it, representing ourselves is not usually a choice but a need. I like the tip about standing out when you're self representing, always a good reminder. I have a long affidavit response to write tomorrow so I'll keep that in mind to make sure I don't get off track.
I agree with the "there are attorneys who settle" point you made. I learned that the hard way.
A SETTLER ATTORNEY man that is exactly what happened to me 3 times!!! I didn't know there was a word for it and if you coined that kudos haha but yes now I know the difference between a litigator and a settler attorney. I figured it out about 7,000 dollars later but the last settler attorney I had fK*d up my case so bad he left himself open to a malpractice claim I have my trial on the 31st HOW fitting for the witch I'm divorcing... this psychopath narcissist has done unimaginable things from conspiring with the her affair partner on ways to have me arrested and lose custody too my kids or filing false petitions and getting protection orders to the average person when you say things like that they think you are exaggerating or just making it up. Thanks for your content man!
I've also heard the phrase "Churn n burn" as in just churn n burn through your money and not accomplish a damn thing. Also happened to me 3 times. Now I'm looking into rep myself. I'm not involved in a high conflict child custody case (yet) just a money-hungry unreasonable person.
Dude....I just want to say I had been searching and praying and trying to understand what to do......what was the smartest option ....what made the most sense .....with a lack of money....and after watching a bunch of your videos.....your speaking directly to every single question I had....and how I should handle things. Things you talked About happening to you...has already happened to me so I can relate on so many levels. So I had been searching for attorneys....but I knew I could spend a bunch of money and not accomplish shit. I also knew the stigma of representing yourself because I've just sat in public court hearings sometimes when I was bored ...waiting to talk to the judge about a ticket or something and they were always the stereotypical crazy person who rambles....who didn't do his homework.....who wasn't well spoken or knowledgeable.....so many questions ....but I knew I had to keep searching for answers... But wow man. Your right ....I need to embrace the fact I'm going to be learning the ins and outs of self litigation ...filing of paperwork ....and whatever else ...for years. Years and years. Well maybe not that long....but either way....I gonna jump head first into learning what to do. Anyways ....you've made me feel like not only I have hope.....but you've also made me realize DHS has a uphill battle terminating my parental rights because I'm not an absentee father. I never have been. I always show up to his visits. I always spend time with him. He loves me and I love him...and I will never turn my back on my son. The good thing is the judge said she would never kill my parental rights just because I didn't have a place to live....but the DHS brood of vipers does a great job at shitting all over you....which makes sense cause their trying to build a case for termination.....so make even the smallest detail terrible. But I do realize.....they have one hell of a uphill battle.....I'm joining your channel immediately downloading every single video.
Thanks, as you watch more of the videos you'll get more of a 3-dimensional of the court system and it should help you navigate it on your own, like the rest of us.
Alex, I went into my suit with a child support against me. I accumulated an arrearage of child support for the last year and a half to the tune of $850/month (I didn’t pay her because I knew it would be modified and I would never get it back). The total was around $20,000. Former Wife was awarded $6,000 in attorneys fees. In the end all of it was vacated and Former Wife ended up owing me $7,500. Plus she was to pay me child support to the tune of $300/month. Furthermore, my son gets to have more overnight stays with me. Interesting how you can use the law to make all of that happen. I honestly could not have done it without the information you provided. You also gave me the courage to do continue the struggle in the Courts, by myself, to do what was best for my son. For that sir, I am eternally grateful. Thank you.
Chris this is such a big outcome for you that I have to see if we can do a Viewer's Victory interview sometime. This is significant for you to pull off alone.
Thank You, Alex, for all that you do. This came at the perfect timing. This week, I am filing my very first Motion: Notice of Appeal.
This video came at the right time. I do not feel as overwhelmed
Good to hear! And my next 2 My Docket videos are on an appeal!
I’m dealing with these types of sickos that attach themselves to conflict!!!
As Alex points out, the parties do this often. It defines their sense of self, their identity, especially when a child(ren) is involved. It can go both ways. It's like a contagious disease that also involves the extended family. But that's not all.
The courts, attorneys, therapists, etc. also depend on the conflict.
@@apyruite8493 yeah, it's called the business of family law. it's highly lucrative, and almost no participating "professional" ever gets held accountable for doing their job incorrectly. it's technically a free for all money pit. This is why I spent months learning the statutes, case law, and the status of other people's cases. You yourself need to cut this finaincial umbilical cord of unnecessarily siphoning thousands of dollars from people who don't have it
God bless you sir. Thank you for the video
I've been going through a two-year custody battle now with my ex I NEED HELP
Hey man I'm am very thankful I just found your videos. I'm a mouth away from my first self rep court date. Im hoping to learn alot from you Chanel.
Great idea is try to watch the whole My Docket series in the next month.
I've spent $30k and my lawyer only wrote emails to opposing counsel. Didn't even get me to a hearing or conference. Now I have no choice but to self represent
kos this happens over and over again in these cases. It’s despicable.
@@TheProperPerson I was traumatized because my wife made false allegations and as a result completely depended on my lawyer and let him drive the strategy which I found out to be letter writing campaign. Luckily my funds ran out so now am learning from zero.
Thank you for your videos. They provide Enormous value. You're doing God's work, allowing us father's to have a fighting chance for the poor kids.
@@kos2932 I'm glad they're helping you, I wish I could tell you your story was unique but it happens incredibly often. Did you see "Settlers vs. Litigators"?
@@TheProperPerson yes I've watched that video and majority of your videos. Very encouraging and valuable
@@kos2932 This is what happened to me as well, however, my amount was $6k before the first hearing not $30k. Then another $2.5k before the next hearing. The frivolous back and forth communications are costly, and unnecessary. You have to clamp down on these things, and take the driver's wheel in your own case. My first exp. in court was eye-opening, and the interim custody order changed me entirely, including my approach. $9k for an order that I could have bumbled myself into. It was due to a severe lack of preparation since apparently 14 years of family law exp. doesn't translate into knowing that you should actually prep for a hearing. Nour mentioned that his lawyer had over 30 years of experience and his result in court was worse than mine. Learn your state statutes and local procedures👏These cases are legal marathons, not sprints to the settlement table.
dude you know whats up man everytime you say something I'm like yup yup lol my first attorney 5000 retainer I was 2700 deep with just filing a temporary hearing for custody and responding to the petition when my ex filed a DVPO against me. My attorney called me and said I cant represent you any longer this is going to be a high conflict case and I just don't want to deal with it LOL and that was that LOL
Thanks for the compliment. Sorry to hear.
Very realistic thank you
As I want to finalise property settlement I will most likely use an attorney for final trial. In Australia, and with a decent property pool, I think that makes sense. Then self represent after that as I know there will be orders broken regularly on custody. I have a 7 month old too so pushing shit uphill on custody.
When a child is born the state sees 18 years of revenew. Case closed
I disagree. It's a thing the State puts up with and tries its best to manage. I explain some of this in the Title IV-D videos.
I have a question 🤔 my sister's ex has a attorney and she keeps pushing selling there home she has a oop against her ex was granted the house for 2 years does she have to start the process to sell the home now or can she wait she just started working 3 weeks ago.
So im curious to know if a police report filed online can be used against me? No felony came of it, just a fine and it was over 4 years ago. Making a solid attempt at doing this myself but its really the only negative i can think of for evidence used against me. And smoking weed, but thats easily solvable.
Some insight or stories would be great.
Love the channels and you have given the good guys hope.
The report in and of itself is "Hearsay" (see the video). But its possible you might be in a State with hearsay exceptions where it can be used and of course, someone can always subpoena the person who filed the report thus having them testify as a witness.
In your experience, is it wise to reference a statute in opposition to a motion to show cause for temporary custody? Would a judge take offense to it? This specific statute went into effect January 1st of this year. It creates the rebuttable presumption that equal parenting time is in the best interest of the child. Rebuttal of presumption has to show clear and convincing evidence, etc...
Not only is it wise its what works. I explain how, eventually, I learned that this was my only hope at victory in the videos "Statutes, Rules, and Case Law" and "Research". Using the law in your briefs and in court is what opens the gateway to appeals. I won 4 appeals and 3 of them were on "statutory construction" (interpretation of the law, and another video topic.)
The Proper Person thank you!
Here are the main issues for people who have a family lawyer at the beginning:
1. your own lawyer's personality and approach, i.e. I picked a "wing-it lawyer"
2. the judge's personality and approach to statutes in general, i.e. the judge may not care at all
3. the quickly escalating lawyer fees
4. the mental drain of constant research, and wtf interim orders, esp. if you work a professional job
5. your ex
Exactly.
Hello i have a current family law case and have questions if you have the time. Currently self representing and I am going to have a court date in the upcoming month
Feel free to send an email.
Question: Many pro se cry in court. What’s your take on showing genuine emotion in front of judge?
Try not to if possible.
Yes, judge feels uncomfortable deviating too much from 50/50.
Are you in the US or Canada?
US
Did your ex have a lot of money for lawyers? If you put in all that work, how was she fighting you back without having a lot of money herself? I'm thinking because I'm in the same situation representing myself. I'm putting in my first appeal and writ. She has one of those settlers so my theory is she'll run out of money and I'll win.
I don't know for sure but I strongly believe she was funded by friends and family.
Are you still.aroumd.? I'd love to chat with you.
Sure, I answer emails daily.