THE SELF DESTRUCTIVE CYCLE OF SHAME, DESPAIR AND PRIDE
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ก.พ. 2021
- Faith in Christ is about Life and death, it is the line between eternally be-ing and collapsing back into non-being. Faith in Christ is not about shaping good citizens, it is not about developing a sense of piety or morality. Christ came to give us Life - His Life, the Divine Life of God Himself - and in doing so, to make us One with Him.
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The video 'THE SELF DESTRUCTIVE CYCLE OF SHAME, DESPAIR AND PRIDE' was recorded by Fr Seraphim Aldea, at Mull Monastery (The Orthodox Monastery of All Celtic Saints), on the Isle of Mull.
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The darkest side of parenthood is perhaps when we witness ourselves doing to our children the harm done to us. Happy the parent who catches himself or herself in time, because the shame runs like cold water over one's bones even years later. The pain keeps us humble before God.
These videos are life-lines for me currently.
Glory be to God, dear Meredith. Another time will come, and life will abound in you. Remember to at least try to share it with those around you - that will only increase the life and joy in you. Be blessed, dear one.
I want to give my pathetic little heart back to God. I'm done being alone with it waiting till it's perfect and shiny enough to present to my Maker. This is my way of giving up and into. I give up and give praise.
Dear Heather, the trap of course is that our hearts will never be 'perfect and shiny' left to their own devices. You know that, we all know that, yet we all repeat this same mistake: trying to become perfect (as we should, as we are called to be) outside God's Grace. But we learn - slowly, painfully, we learn. Be blessed, dear one.
Amen🌹
I was talking with my mother about our inclination toward scrupilocity recently and she likened it to our inclination toward overeating. It would be so easy if the answer was to give up food or trying to be perfect but the difficulty is we have to eat and try to be better without falling into either trap.
Please Father Seraphim, pray for my poor soul, I have been struggling with a deep sense of guilt and shame for what I perceive to be a long time. I feel unforgiven and unheard by Christ, it is so painful, because He is actually all I ever had, when I feel forsaken by Him, I feel stranded in the middle of the desert. I am a medical student so I suspect the stress we go through must play a role in this mess. From Egypt, Coptic Orthodox Church.
God bless you
I pray you will have an answer to your prayers very soon. God has forgiveness for you as a free gift and loves you very much.
Lord, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy on Karen
I completely agree with this! I do believe there is a thin line between shame and guilt. For me, guilt can be a vehicle for repentance while shame almost always pushes us toward scrupulosity. Guilt says “I have done an evil thing” whereas shame says “I am evil”.
Very true my friend
The parable of the lamb and its mother is so beautiful. I pray that we all run to Mother Church and feed from Her always!
Every time I see that, dear Jerid, I am reminded how ready I am in my heart to place my hope in my own strength instead of turning to God-Who-Is-Love. God teaches us through everything. Be blessed, dear one.
I feel like it's so interwoven into my being...this despair and shame cycle that it's almost laughable. I can not save myself from my brokeness. Indeed, without God I am nothing! Christ have mercy upon me and save me a sinner!
... I hear you... I 'm in the same boat myself! I ll pray for ya. 👍🙏🇮🇪
I know this video is a couple of years old, but I needed this message today. Thank you:)
I will have to relisten to this one a number of times but it is a very freeing truth you speak. God bless you Father.
May we all be blessed, dear Colm. Thank you for your prayer
Thanks for your words... Relisten is the best word👍... discernment of the spirits ar so picturesque
Shame My topic...
Shame as understanded in the bigining (fear of dusconnected with God) , and shame understanded today (selfishness 🤔)... I can feel how deep is this "shame understanded today"
Every thuseday and friday I'm waiting for your words Mull Monastery fr. Serafin. 👍
My God bless you, and throught your words us, who are listening you and attempt to aply words into life. Thank you.
Father I can understand this perfectly. I am constantly trying to go it alone "pride" failing "shame" then instead of turning to God repeating the same cycle. I have begun praying to follow God's Will, not mine and to increase my faith. Please continue with these oh so helpful and insightful videos. God Bless
This is truly a matter of life and death. Thank you, Father. 🙏🏻♥️☦️
I am always excited
When I see another teaching from Father
Aldea!
May God bless you, dear one. Thank you for your kindness and support - we all need that in our lives.
Fr. You were kind enough to send me information on where to buy a Philokalia. But it was first" Audio ". I want a book. That was
Why it was so cheap.
I am happy to say they have the Audio one on
TH-cam now and I have listened to it a few times. I still prefer
A book. 🙂 I hope you are able to have the time and wellness, with all your Migraines,
To respond to me again.
I noticed they are having classes on The
Orthodox Church on TH-cam now. I am going to do that today.
I was Baptized into the Catholic Church the day after Mom & I came home from the hospital and she gave
Birth. I was born on Easter Sunday. I wil be
78 in April. I have had a
Very tragic life but also
God has been there for me with true Miracles!
I am now living in the Mohave Desert for 4yrs now. I live in my 1979 R.V. or Motor Home that broke down
4 yrs ago. I tried to get it fixed several times but it became obvious my Lord Jesus wants me here! Now I know why! I am learning more here! I have quit
Fighting it & I under stand what He has been trying to help me understand.
Our LORD JESUS IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN PROTECT US; WE NEED TO RUN TO HIM, HE IS OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS, OUR REDEEMER. "I AM THE WAY THE TRUTH AND THE LIFE; NOT ONE CAN COME TO THE FATHER EXCEPT THROUGH ME'( John 14:6)
Dear Monk: There is no failure in this talk or any other! I think it gets down to our being vigilant and sober while in prayer and receiving the sacraments until we are with the Lord. Work/Socializing has to be put in its proper perspective. Thank God he has sent a holy Monk such as you are, to share these messages that will only help to save our souls! God bless you and all yours at Mull! (Canada)
There are many things I’ve noticed in life have nothing to do with eternity and also damaging to the soul.
As an 'oldster' I wondered what the effect of the barrage of positive affirmation would be on the next generation. How interesting to hear this side of it. Even better, to hear you calling God's love and mercy for us all.
15 Πιστὸς ὁ λόγος καὶ πάσης ἀποδοχῆς ἄξιος, ὅτι Χριστὸς Ἰησοῦς ἦλθεν εἰς τὸν κόσμον ἁμαρτωλοὺς σῶσαι, ὧν πρῶτός εἰμι ἐγώ ·
15 The word which I speak unto you is faithful, and worthy of all acceptation, and that receive it on all account; that Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief.
No, you are conveying it so clearly! And unbelievable! Your message is so liberating!!! Amaizing, dear Father! So revealing and right on and revigorating! I just went to confesion today and thank God, this resonates with what my spiritual Father made me understand! Unbelievable how God makes connections, so edifying!
Thank you very much for this Video!
Today's advisors often say: "You can do anything if you work hard enough!" I think, these sentences are dangerous. They brought me into a deep depression. But through this I learned: The only goal is a life out of God's love. Only with him we have a life in real freedom.
Oh thank you. Your timing is just perfect. The holy spirit is alive and kicking in your words. God bless you
As for shame. I think many of us are taught to be ashamed and then are too maimed to reach for the Light which can heal. It takes someone like you to bring this to our attention.
yes. Maimed, for sure. It is not helpful. There is a Godly sadness that takes us to him and an ungodly one that pushes us down and away.
My 33 knot prayer rope arrived this week. It's very special to have something from your monastery. Thank you so much and God bless you all.
Wonderful! Is it one of those we make with shells and wool from the black sheep from the island? If so, is it still smelling like sheep? 😊 We always wondered if the smell disappears by the time it reaches all of you!
@@mullmonastery Yes it has the shell and YES I just checked. Having worked on a sheep farm last lambing season and stuffed my overalls with wool to keel warm I can confirm it smells of 100% pure sheep! :D
I feel like these videos are custom made for me! Thank you for your valuable content! (I know it isn't about me, but it is surprizing how they come at just the right time.) Thank you for your edification!
Thank you father, I notice the evil one's lies in the music that plays at my work.
All of it is about being perfect the way you are or that somehow being broken is beautiful etc. It's like you said.
Thank you for this message. God Bless you!
This was very powerful Father. I have fallen into deep ruts of sin plenty of times and have struggled at overcoming them on my own terms. God bless you for bringing this video to us and may the Lord Jesus Christ forgive us of our sins.
Pray for me
Father, I struggle with shame daily on almost everything I do. It's so crippling. I struggle with lust due to loneliness. Please pray for me.
Exactly what I was looking for! You explained The difference between true repentance and false repentance (Guilt of the ego)
Shame despair and pride do not seem to go together, but they sure do! We think of shame as the opposite of pride, but both in their modern sense are destructive! So often we listen to the wolf for advice. May God bless you!
Much of these things you speak of comes from SELFISHNESS. Let’s change it to SELFLESSNESS!
There is a life-long distance between the two, dear one, and it takes effort on our side to be able to open to God's Grace and to hold on to it. May we all find that strength and determination.
@@mullmonastery amen brother! It’s a huge struggle. Most of my selfishness is unintentional.
God bless you, Father
I have found my way back to Chirst during this lent season, your words are filled with rich value that will help me to build foundations on my faith. Thank you and God bless.
Thank you for this words, I can recognize what you explain, and it is very true, Yet difficult to deal with it. I think, the tendency to do on our own and to turn away from God when we failed is very very strong, like it sits rooted in us. like a reflex.
So so true Fr Serafim...but for exemple I am so used with that - try it on my own (not only spiritually)....that I don't even realise that I do it. After that I see it wasn't good because I fall again...how can I change this bad behavior? can Jesus- prayer help? I want to start with God and I actually end doing my will ....sadly but I,somehow, forget about Him ...my mind is like a shattered glass that can't find his parts. Although I try to pay attention to my toughts and pray, the daily Life (Work with ill people, colleagues, family life ) overcome me....I am like a swimmer that more drawns that swims..
Father Seraphim, with all due respect (and love!) I see a kalimavkion on the lamp and I worry that it is a fire hazard...
PS: Thank you for your wonderful and very helpful content!
Thanks a great example about the lamb!!!! Very deep
Amen Amen Amen
Father Seraphim...this is one of your most powerful messages , and I find myself replaying it again and again and basking in your message of God's mercy and forgiveness.
Thank you Fr Seraphim for your powerful teaching . You could be describing me all the times I fall into a hole. My arrogance, pride & that so called virtue self - esteem trips me up . The evil one knows our weakness.
I often find in a trial that I have been here before the circumstances might be different. I need to change my reactions let go of pride & self esteem when others go agaist my will. Its all about aligning my will with Gods Will. I wish I heard your teachings years ago when I was younger. But all in Gods own time . Dear Jesus help me to renounce The World The Flesh & the devil. Jesus son of David have mercy on me a sinner.
Jesus I Trust i You. Mother Mary I commend myself to your loving kindness. Intercede for me Dear Mother.
Dear Jesus I put my nothingness into Your Allness.
May Jesus, Mother Mary, all the Celtic Saints & Holy angels protect bless you & your community.
Amen
Catholic from west of Ireland
This sermon reminds me of another sermon I heard regarding feeling that God is disgusted with us. I found this helIpfull: It was describing God looking at us as a $100 bill on the ground almost completely covered in mud. He would pick us up and clean us because we are more valuable to him even when we are presently so dirty.
You arent travelling any longer but look how many, many people you are reaching now. My icon of hope arrived yesterday in a snow storm and was picked up by my father ...so truly a miracle. Arrived safe and sound......
I struggle with shame. Im only 23 and I've already done things that I feel make me unworthy to be in heaven no matter what I do even if I was a Saint the rest of my life.
I know in my brain that's not true and Jesus will forgive all who are repentant. But in my heart I feel I'm not worthy.
Any words of advice father?
First time I cried listening to a Father Seraphim video. Wow!!! God Bless you all.
I grew up in a Jehovahs Witness family. Thanks be to God that I left and found ( or should I say was led to ) Christ. I suffered condemnation and shame due to the JW theology and was never doing enough. Shame can kill your spirit and keep you stuck in one place, unable to move forward. At such a time I heard in my spirit , God whispered to me - “ Your Shame ? I died for that too.
Before I became a christian, God used a song from Pink to pull me out of the perfect shame cycle. My favorite line was "We're not broken just Bent and we can learn to Love again." When I became a Christian, I learned to love again. The song still feels like a hug from God for me. The lie of perfection trys to tell us we are broken beyond repair when we can't live up to everyones ideal. God loved me even while I was hopelessly lost to let me know, I wasn't broken and that I was capable and worthy of love.
Another wonderful message, and so timely. We are told we are perfect, when in reality we are all imperfect who walk this earth. The enemy has hold of so many message givers. he is alive and well in these times. Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! (KJV) Anyone who really listens to your messages will find relevance in ALL of them. Father you always "hit the nail squarely on its' head". God Bless you and thank God for you.
Thank you very much!! I am very, very much sorry, about my sinful life that Icannot live itdifferently.... it is too late now...
Please pray for me today, Fr. Seraphim. I am struggling very much, and I am unsure of the source. It feels like all the pain and hell that is in my heart is raging with violent fury today, and I am in agony trying to cope with it while still trying to be patient with my family. I do not know the way out, but I am sure to be helped through your prayers. Please, please pray that I will find peace in my heart.
They seek me day after day,
and desire to know my ways ...
You shall call, and the Lord will answer, you shall cry for help, and He will say: "Here I am!"
-Isaiah 58:2, 9
May you find the peace you are yearning for🙏🏼
Lord, have mercy.
Dear Father, it was truly wonderful to listen to this. I was raised with shame being a primary emotion. It can be soul 'destroying,' it was used as a tool, a flog, to beat me senseless in my heart and mind.
I would read the words of the Holy Fathers, and obviously it was very difficult for me to comprehend shame as a holy thing. After I became Orthodox, it was this same shame that the enemy would use trying to get me to leave the Church. It took me a long long time, to break through all of that on me, like the skins of an onion. One day, I realized that I would even embody shame? Hard to put in words. Praise be to God, He's lifted me out of that, whenever I fell back into that dark pit.
So much I have gained listening to your videos.
Pray for me a sinner.
Glory be The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, is now, and forever shall be. Amen.
🙏
... Thanks father... I needed to hear this!!! God bless you. 👍🙏🇮🇪
✝️☦️🙏⛪️📿🇬🇧❤️❤️❤️
I listened to the last 2 minutes of this video multiple times. A message I needed to hear.
Thank you, again, Dear Fr! Each of the Lord's messages in and through you are growing dearer to me with every listen. God bless YOU!!! 💞🙏
Father I have fallen and fought and listened to lies to the point that I realize that my body was given it's soul. I will not be perfect I will sin yet I will not turn away from our lord. I will struggle in these struggles I must find the joy in them and give thanks for them. I feel the holy spirit with me and i pray that I never have to be with out this again. This is a constant battle I believe I was allowed to fail only to bring me to know whom I must be. God never turns his back on us it is we who turn our backs on him I've said this to many people. Still I may be wrong but many people don't understand. Thank you Father Should Adam and Eve turned to the Father what a different world we would have today
God bless you father, this was exactly the message I needed to hear today. Thank you for continuing to do the work of God.
For You ❤❤.yes.may God bless You always.i too feel very blessed by You.wherever however whoever I might be in this world.thank You so much.You are extremely soothing.of course innocence and faith are lost most of the time.hurtfully lost.but you brought up the image of the lamb.so the innocence may still exist.anyway,with God s will,maybe one day I will see You for real.i feel we are kindred spirits.for You always ❤❤. AGNUS Dei Qui Tollis peccata mundi,miserere nobis
Father Bless.... Thank you for taking the time to share this helpful word. I needed to hear this and learn from it. Please prayer for me... Theophan
Father, thank you for these life giving words of truth. May God richly bless you and keep you.
Thank you for your very enlightened explanation.
Father, thankyou for your timely and as ever accurate comments. I know I always fall into this trap despite knowing all to well that I need help with many things, it has taken a long time to learn to ignore the constant messaging about self sufficiency and accept I need help on a human level for practical things it is just as hard to do it in relation to God. That is despite the fact God will always help unlike other people.
Thank you. I dearly needed this message.
Amen Amen Amen thank you Fr for this beautiful and uplifting words os wisdom. May G-d continue to blessed and protect you always. In Yesuha Name I pray Amen
Thank you, Father, I needed this today!
Thank you so much,
Father, you sharing is so clear, and it resonates with my inner being, and it is the truth. Thank you.
Powerful words
Bless Father. Thank you for this wisdom. Your words help me see things from a new perspective.
Thank you so much! Bless God our redeemer!
Thank you father for this video God bless you! Also at 9:20 it was such a beautiful explenation with the wolf and the lamb! Thank you so much father!
Wow everything u said was amazing and so true God bless u Father and thank you for ur teachings🙏🏻
Thank you Father, you always speak to what I need.
From the unreal lead me to the real;
from darkness lead me to the light;
from death lead me to immortality.
~ Brhadaranyaka Upanisad
🙏
♥️
Thanks be to God .
Multumesc Parinte Serafim pentru binecuvintarile ce le primim din toata inima. Multumesc la fel de mult si pentru exemplificarea concreta pentru a face diferenta si a vedea mai in adancul meu. Of, daca intr-adevar m-as fi raportat la Bunul Dumnezeu ca la o nevoie sau cunoastere, si nu doar pentru frica de moarte sau....sfarsitul lumii...dar stiu ca Bunul Dumnezeu este Atotstiitorul.
Thank you father 🙏, pray for us😭.
Fr bless, this is very timely. When I fall I seek refuge in the whispers of the evil one, rather in the repentance to God and His Most Pure Mother.
Fr. Seraphim I am so very grateful for your words today. Lord have mercy💕
Great Video
Oh Jesus, help us. Amen.
God's will be done! Thank you Father.
Yes .. Life and death .... That is what turned me to the this Orthodox Church 20 something years ago . But i have been a poor little spoiled lazy person ( forgetful of that ) in the practice of it since then . Such a slow progress . I genuinely am getting benefit from these talks of yours . Thank you
Psalm- 104 God bless us all
Thank you my brother for this great words, which Holy Ghost gave you for us! Thank you almighty God for Your Love to us!✝️ 💚Be blessed my brother in Christ! 🌾
Sărut mâna, Părinte Serafim! Am fost cu Sfinția Voastră și cu Părintele Adrian de la Mihai Vodă în pelerinaj în Țara Sfântă. Eram foarte tulburată, pentru că m-am enervat - așteptându-mi rândul la Golgota; deși mă rugasem pașnic o vreme, dar pentru că se tot băgau diverse persoane în fața mea, să vadă Golgota, eu am spus răstit: ”It is just a stone!.”. Am pierdut lănțișoarele cu cruciuliță ale copiilor, pe care voiam să le ating de sfințenia locului - mi le-ați găsit Sfinția Voastră. Am ascultat la altarul în care se auzea cum băteau piroanele în mâinile Mântuitorului, dar nu am fost vrednică să aud nimic. Sfinția Voastră ați ascultat (și ați auzit) și pentru mine, punând în fața Mântuitorului rugămintea să auziți dumneavoastră pentru mine bătăile acelea, ca semn că voi fi iertată,, dacă mă voi spovedi. Am trăit doar pentru a ajunge în țară și a mă spovedi; nimic din sfințenia locurilor nu m-a mai atins, inima mi s-a împietrit și m-am temut că nu voi mai ajunge să mă spovedesc. Dar, cu mila lui Dumnezeu, pentru rugăciunea Sfinției Voastre, am ajuns. Vă mulțumesc din nou și mă bucur că v-am regăsit. Mi-aș dori să comunic cumva în privat cu Sfinția Voastră, pentru că m-au ajuns destul de multe probleme de atunci și mi-ar fi de mare folos rugăciunea și sfatul dumneavoastră. cristinaghenof@yahoo.com
If I realize who I am and in what I live in the illusions and entanglements of this world and I want to get out of there, then it will not be possible to make a few decisions, but only to leave everything and become a monk. This is the only way I can start all over again. Or how do I have to understand that? If you have lived for 50 or so years how you will get out of that entanglements?
I thinks that might be right a freedom in the moment to be what you are able to do
Thank you father. I'm catecumen. You mentioned Jesus touching sin, sickness and death physically...... I'm stumbling over preparation for Holy Cummunion rules. No bodily emmisions, nó bleeding etc....you have to be "perfect" before receiving Him. This seems to contradict the person of Christ in the flesh who touched everything..... Why do these rules apply then?
Thank you
Father, I am very saddened because Christ suffered so much for our salvation. My daughters asked me the other day why did God the Father made His son suffer so much though He was so loving and compassionate?
There Is No life out side God Amen,Amen,Amen!!!
Thank you dear father (you have definitely become dear to me now). The metaphor of the lamb's instinctualness really drove home for me the nativeness of our relationship with God. It is not something external or artificial, but the deepest part of our being. Rather it is systems of Good and Evil and moral codes that are artificial and in a way of consequence of our separation, our prideful desire to rationalize a system of good and evil whereby individuals can rely on their own self-will and understanding to pursue good, rather than God. God's grace and Christ's way allows us to finally move beyond these system and in live in the freedom of grace. I heard these words clearly: "I cannot, but He already is."
A more practical question arose for me however: what to do when you have been told through your religious upbringing that certain things are sinful and morally wrong, but you feel not only deep satisfaction doing them, but a calm and almost an inward knowingness that God is with you? How to differentiate between sin which seems to be always and only artificial separation from God's life and established systems of morality even sanctioned by various official church bodies? How to differentiate between sinful longings/separating tendencies that one may have so internalized as good that they seem like God approves and true reliance on God. I guess this comes at some point to the importance of obedience to a spiritual director.
I love that you have the icon of Our Mother of Perpetual Succor. The story of the lamb reminds me of the story of Toddler Jesus running to His Most Holy Mother for protection and consolation.
Father I listen many times to your lessons. Your prayers are effectual. Thank you for the spiritual benefits!
Are there any videos on addiction and do I go to a priest from here
Where can I get Icons like the ones behind you Father , please
I would like to know also!
Any decent Catholic or Orthodox religious store/catalog/website should have them available
Mull Monastery actually makes icons, just check out their website. They also sell prayer ropes and books
Mans greatest danger to man , is ignoring Gods Salvation plan , like wolves we bite and snarl at each other , not realising that person is your sister or brother, a common heritage we share in our blood, as God created Adam from mud , hate we choose and ignore the love, which was sent from heaven above, to love is the way but we cannot see , blinded by the lies are we , Jesus Christ came to show us the way, walking the road to hell we do stray , look closely at that person they are just like you, learn and practice the things Christ would do, cast out hate and lock love in your heart, cast out that wolf and it’ll be a start
💜 you gave
the deepest,
the most condensed,
the ultimatest
teaching speech ever 💜 .
T h a n k y o u .
[ what is your name, our beLoved elder?
i've thought, your name is Seraphim,
but now i read from comments, your name is Aldea (if i understood it correctly) ? ]
Aldea is the surname 🙂
I don't hate people. I wonder why they hate me.
❤️🥹❤️
Between me and You,
there is only me.
Take away the me,
so only You remain.
~ Mansur al-Hallaj
🙏
♥️