Let me tell you something.... when I was with my ex, nothing of mine was going right. I left him and all of a sudden, I got a job, my marks at school were picking up, I was happier and just experiencing a better life. Guys, it hurts to move on, but see it as being for your higher good and just. Move. On.
"Soul ties" I really get so annoyed when my ex still bugging me bcs they may really block my way forward, sir u r on point for real... some ex uyakubamba ngitlizoyo and that is really bad, I had to lie and say I'm married now so he can stop bugging me and let me live my life with my man, sometimes we don't entertain but they dont wanna let go.
Thokoza Gogo 👏👏👏 as a young traditional healer I fully agree with you..... Thank you for always sharing and enlightening the nation ... Makhosi 👏👏sending love and light to you Gogo 👏
Thokoza gogo. I just love how completely honest you are, you don't beat around the bush or sugar coat matters. Continue opening our eyes, thokoza 👏🏾👏🏾..
Thokoza Gogo... I had a dream or vision not so long ago of my late great grandfather telling me to forget about my ex and stay far away from him. This video helped me to take a step of deleting pictures and WhatsApp messages between us. Ngiyabonga!
Thokoza Gogo,I am very strong believe in Christianity as born again.Very profound revelation.God has blessed you with great wisdom and power to heal many nations.Keep up the great work of healing.......
I'm just watching this video now, i once loved a certain girl and she was everything that i wanted in m life but because of what you've said Gogo made me realize that is not worthy it. let just focus on what we have and leave the history. thank you gogo.
I've just paused the video after 2:26, just say wow. Gogo siyabonga imfundo yakho ephilisayo. A year later and I'm finding the relevance in your wisdom on this topic. Thokoza Gogo 🙏🏾
Block and delete, an ex is an ex for a reason. Angikhulumi nje ne ex ngoba angazi ukuthi yini esizoyikhuluma sesihlukene ekubeni sahluleka ukukhuluma sisathandana. People must learn to respect themselves and their current relationships, ungabuyeli emumva kwi ex ngoba ayikho into engcono noma enomehluko azoyenza leyamhlula nisathandana kunalokho uzobuya akuhlukumeze okokugcina ngoba usebonile ukuthi awuzihloniphi, awuzithandi and u treat yourself like a doormat. Delete old memories and create new ones with umuntu wakho omusha but mostly zithande wena kuqala.
Gogo👏👏👏👏 you've said it all.. even though i don't understand Isizulu that much, but ngizwile.. ama ex vele baletha imoya emibi. You told me everything i wanted to hear👏👏👏👏
Eish and nna ke guilty shame, sometimes it's the fear of being hurt by yet another person or falling in love with the idea of what a person can be than the actual person they are so it feels easier to deal with what I know rather than what I don't. Kondwa ndivile gogo.
You really talking to me, this ex of mine I can't stop entertaining him but yena he doesn't want me, sometimes I dream having sex with him. wow thanks gogo you just opened my eyes
I think its very important to agree on the meaning of words, for instance u could be meaning something when u say entertaining ur ex, and i could be understanding it differently, secondly how is it that when someone is dating u is seen as kind and angelic, but the moment u are separated she is suddenly seen as bad , to an extent that she is reffered to as a bad spirit?. These reminds me of the very Christian idiologies, where biblical white people are reffered to as Angels when they die , and our people are demonic and not worship worthy when they die. It must be understood that when u date somebody u built a memory, bond as it is understood, and they maybe other social arrangements depending upon the seriousness and how deep ur relationship was, so u need to give urself sometime to allow those memories to wear off, and speaking to them is important for closure as well as to decide how things will be handled because in some relations there are kids involved, an abrupt cutting of someone in ur life will cause u much pain and can lead to u wanting to go back, because pain is understood to convey the deepest message. However ur views as traditional or on a spirit level are much respected 🙏
So very true im married was busy entertaining an ex now all my things they are blocked, thanks for the info. I really appreciate cause even on the sexual part did not care or have feelings for my husband. Feeling so embarrassed and ashamed.
Thokoza salukazi sendoda...such thing is happening to me and i thank u salukazi sendoda coz i have learnt a lot from my mistakes..ur video is a wake up col for me
Thokoza Gogo. Ngyabonga for sharing this video with us ..i really relate to it coz yaz uvele wachaza into ekhulume nami uqobo ,ngase ngibuyelana ne x- yami my mum waba nephupho udade wabo osadlula emhlabeni ethi yini ngibuyele lakungcole khona coz besengiphunyukile if ngiqhubeka ngizogcina senginesimo senyoka esiswini ngoba angilaleli. Ever since i closed that door ka x-god gave me such a good start. Ngyabonga kakhulu Salukazi sendoda keep sharing nathi . Camagu gogo🤝
And then Tata what do you do indaba yomuntu onomntana naye because they intend to come back using the children as excuses knowing that , it is them that want to come back
Wow...only watched this now as I am in a process of self introspection and checking what is it that contributes to the frustration and the delay in my progress ...I am so convicted....please enlightened me on how do I then reverse all the bad spirit one invite by entertaining exes...How do I undo the damage? Thank you for Sharing your wisdom 👏👏👏👏
Our Generation should learn from this, it happens it's real I've been thru it i don't want no relationship manje. I learned the hard way... Sithokoze baba
Thokoza, no, see first on where is the relationship between the two of you is going. Mainly I was talking about an ex while you are in the good relationship already... All the best, just focus.
I don't believe in ancestors, I grew up in a Christian family, one of the reasons I don't believe in them I don't know them, I don't understand them and how they work but I recently met someone who believes soo much kuwo and I love him so much and I don't wanna constantly judge him for what he believes in can you please do a video explaining amadlozi ngyazicelela 🙏🙏🙏
Im platonic friends with many of my exes. They dont wish to be with me, I dont wish to be them. We were just both mature enough to aknowledge that we not good for each other but we remain good friends.
Yazi Sonkophe, Mthiya, ngihlala ngiwabuka amavideos akho. Yabona le yona le topic, 🤞🤞🤞 we share the same sentiments. I was accused so many times ukuthi nginenhliziyo embi for completely closing the door. I always say, umuntu ohluleke ukuba committed to the relationship uyisihluleki and there's nothing e different azoyiletha ezofike ibenhle, except ukuthi uzokubangela more pain. Rather leave him or her and get along with life. Lowo odalelwe yena will come your way and you'll be happier in a new relationship.
Thanks for the message, though I don't understand your language but I understand what you talk in English. I wish you could do the while consent in English. Thank you once again.
Thokoza Gogo. Thank you for this informative vid, it's message resounds. I have one complaint though, which is that I can't find the video you promised on the spiritual consequences of cheating. If there is one already, please supply the link. 🙏🏾
Thokoza Gogo Does this mean that I need a cleansing of a sort to stop going back to my ex even if he only seems to come in my life when I am alone especially when I haven't been dating for a very long time. With me it is not hard for me to stay single but this man will just appear in Mr life when I am all alone
I would love to see the videos in English. I want to learn more about African spirituality and cultural customs. Please and thank you! 💜🧘🏾♀️🧿✨💫🕯🧜🏾♀️💎🌍
Thokoza Gogo hope ukahle asisakwazi but I know this time is very busy for nina. Bengcela ubuza about the yellow and blue sambatho u are wearing but the dream was not clear🙏
Gogo washaya... And in a case where you are Co parenting with ex... How can you show your current partner that what ever was existed between the ex is no longer there anymore. In some cases our partners dig up the past by the use of social media and end up ruining the relationship.
There's a guy ngajola naye and after a year i found out he had a girlfriend and so I broke up with him kodwa aftee that everytime he called I would go to him and the next day I would feel so bad I would have suicidal thoughts and just feel horrible and I did that for 2 years kodwa manje I got the strength to just talk to him... I think about him sometimes mara I'm never going back EVER
Let me tell you something.... when I was with my ex, nothing of mine was going right. I left him and all of a sudden, I got a job, my marks at school were picking up, I was happier and just experiencing a better life.
Guys, it hurts to move on, but see it as being for your higher good and just. Move. On.
Life is about moving on. Thats what we need to get. When we keep reliving your the past we do it at the expense of our future. Thank you gogo
When he said "uyakwazi ukuthi ulula/uyisifebe" 😂😂. This is actually true. Spirits communicate
Closure ke ya di wig bo mtase, how the person treated you towards the end of the relationship is closure enough.
Thank you sooo much for this
Yes
😂😂😂😂
Lol
Indeed, we cant keep seekin things that dont exist
I think i need to listen to this every now and then so that i won't go back to my ex. Very important message.
Important message! Wish you could do it in pure English for your international audiences!
We should do subtitles for him
Yes please I dont understand but l watched the whole video waiting for the English bit
That's indigenous information.
yes for ys
No guys! People must learn other peoples languages!
uv just said it all im learning a lot from yo channel u like a father figure to me makwande!!
siphiwe tshabalala Tshabalala... Senosi la. Funny how we keep connecting
I'm glad I can help...
Very true. And the ex always tries to come back when you have met someone new.
Amen, I don't believe in ancestors but what you just said is very eye opening and true
I always thought it's being civil to each other......yooh I'm learning a lot here,syabonga baba.
"Soul ties" I really get so annoyed when my ex still bugging me bcs they may really block my way forward, sir u r on point for real... some ex uyakubamba ngitlizoyo and that is really bad, I had to lie and say I'm married now so he can stop bugging me and let me live my life with my man, sometimes we don't entertain but they dont wanna let go.
Amen Gogo. This is so true. Stop entertaining your ex. Let EX stay in the EX lane.
Thokoza Gogo 👏👏👏 as a young traditional healer I fully agree with you..... Thank you for always sharing and enlightening the nation ... Makhosi 👏👏sending love and light to you Gogo 👏
Thokoza gogo. I just love how completely honest you are, you don't beat around the bush or sugar coat matters. Continue opening our eyes, thokoza 👏🏾👏🏾..
English Subtitles will really help to those who aren’t familiar with the Vernacular spoken here. Thank you 🙏🏾
They are horrible
Thokoza Gogo... I had a dream or vision not so long ago of my late great grandfather telling me to forget about my ex and stay far away from him. This video helped me to take a step of deleting pictures and WhatsApp messages between us. Ngiyabonga!
Thokoza Gogo,I am very strong believe in Christianity as born again.Very profound revelation.God has blessed you with great wisdom and power to heal many nations.Keep up the great work of healing.......
Thokoza Gogo👏🏽
Is There a Way Umuntu Anga-Cleanser Ngayo In Order to Start Afresh And Ukususa iMimoya Yabanye Abantu From Lingering Kumina ?
What a wise man.True words.
Wow so far I've watched more than 4 of your videos I'll never ever stop watching u such an inspiration, thank you🤝
Thank you for being our father who always develop us on all important dimensions of life🙏
I'm just watching this video now, i once loved a certain girl and she was everything that i wanted in m life but because of what you've said Gogo made me realize that is not worthy it. let just focus on what we have and leave the history. thank you gogo.
I've just paused the video after 2:26, just say wow. Gogo siyabonga imfundo yakho ephilisayo. A year later and I'm finding the relevance in your wisdom on this topic. Thokoza Gogo 🙏🏾
Block and delete, an ex is an ex for a reason. Angikhulumi nje ne ex ngoba angazi ukuthi yini esizoyikhuluma sesihlukene ekubeni sahluleka ukukhuluma sisathandana. People must learn to respect themselves and their current relationships, ungabuyeli emumva kwi ex ngoba ayikho into engcono noma enomehluko azoyenza leyamhlula nisathandana kunalokho uzobuya akuhlukumeze okokugcina ngoba usebonile ukuthi awuzihloniphi, awuzithandi and u treat yourself like a doormat. Delete old memories and create new ones with umuntu wakho omusha but mostly zithande wena kuqala.
I am so glued to the channel
nqobile zondo yey! I’m binge watching mntakabawo 😂😂🤣🤣🙆🏻♀️. It’s interesting kodwa. ❤️
Me too
Gogo👏👏👏👏 you've said it all.. even though i don't understand Isizulu that much, but ngizwile.. ama ex vele baletha imoya emibi. You told me everything i wanted to hear👏👏👏👏
Eish and nna ke guilty shame, sometimes it's the fear of being hurt by yet another person or falling in love with the idea of what a person can be than the actual person they are so it feels easier to deal with what I know rather than what I don't. Kondwa ndivile gogo.
True hey
You really talking to me, this ex of mine I can't stop entertaining him but yena he doesn't want me, sometimes I dream having sex with him. wow thanks gogo you just opened my eyes
Dreaming of sex isn’t holy yaz. It’s bad spirits. I used to have same dreams 🤧
Ayi wasisho Gogo 🤣🤣siyabonga the truth always hurt but thank you so much 🙌🙏 Jezebel yoh we need to restore our dignity
ai ngyakuvuma gogo ubathini u ar the best yaz lokhe ngiqalile ukukulandela kaze ngiphoxeke ai zikhona insizwa ngaphandle nyc job gogo
Gogo please do a video about illuminati
Gogo please elaborate in English...I know this message has to reach my soul 🤗
I think its very important to agree on the meaning of words, for instance u could be meaning something when u say entertaining ur ex, and i could be understanding it differently, secondly how is it that when someone is dating u is seen as kind and angelic, but the moment u are separated she is suddenly seen as bad , to an extent that she is reffered to as a bad spirit?. These reminds me of the very Christian idiologies, where biblical white people are reffered to as Angels when they die , and our people are demonic and not worship worthy when they die. It must be understood that when u date somebody u built a memory, bond as it is understood, and they maybe other social arrangements depending upon the seriousness and how deep ur relationship was, so u need to give urself sometime to allow those memories to wear off, and speaking to them is important for closure as well as to decide how things will be handled because in some relations there are kids involved, an abrupt cutting of someone in ur life will cause u much pain and can lead to u wanting to go back, because pain is understood to convey the deepest message. However ur views as traditional or on a spirit level are much respected 🙏
❤
Tjo, well this is very deep and it hit home. Dankie Gogo.
Lets go out after lockdown 😊😊?
@@thamsanqazwane9851 asambe 😏
Number 1, utholakala kanjani?
Talk to us, you keep on going back to your ex?
So very true im married was busy entertaining an ex now all my things they are blocked, thanks for the info. I really appreciate cause even on the sexual part did not care or have feelings for my husband. Feeling so embarrassed and ashamed.
Thokoza Salukazi sendoda. Abafuni kuzwa neks ngokushiya amaex. Uthol’kuthi umuntu ethi ‘we remain very good friends’ befonelana njalo njalo🤗🤗Especially where there kids involved and abantu bacashisa ubufebe ngengane🙌🏾🙌🏾
Thokoza salukazi sendoda...such thing is happening to me and i thank u salukazi sendoda coz i have learnt a lot from my mistakes..ur video is a wake up col for me
Thokoza Gogo. Do you believe in soulmates? Please enlighten us ngoba sike sizwe ukuthi umuntu onabantu abadala uyakhethelwa umuntu azothandana naye. 👏🏾
Mina maGumede I believe that. And I've learnt to accept that if it's their wish, they will give me abamufunayo and I'm happy with that.
Thank you for this question.
Pearl N I believe so too.
Nice topic, then best one. I will do a special video on it.
Gogo Bathini Mbatha TV Thokoza Gogo. Highly appreciated. Ngyabonga. 🙏🏾🙏🏾
Thokoza Gogo. I needed to hear this.
Are you stuck with your ex?
@@dr.gogobathinimbathatv yes Gogo. It's such a mess.
Thokoza Gogo. Ngyabonga for sharing this video with us ..i really relate to it coz yaz uvele wachaza into ekhulume nami uqobo ,ngase ngibuyelana ne x- yami my mum waba nephupho udade wabo osadlula emhlabeni ethi yini ngibuyele lakungcole khona coz besengiphunyukile if ngiqhubeka ngizogcina senginesimo senyoka esiswini ngoba angilaleli. Ever since i closed that door ka x-god gave me such a good start. Ngyabonga kakhulu Salukazi sendoda keep sharing nathi . Camagu gogo🤝
And then Tata what do you do indaba yomuntu onomntana naye because they intend to come back using the children as excuses knowing that , it is them that want to come back
Ex
Coincidentally something brought me here. I dont know why im here though. Thank you gogo for this imformation.
Very true .its a weak spirit causing this.just feeling comfortable in whats not working
Sicela uthinte kancane kweyo soulmate no kuthi umbona kanjani lo okhethelwe yena abantu abadala. Nabantu abadala ngathi banolaka abafune ndoda duzana 1minute u happy eskhaleni nje sebekwatile.
Same problem
Thokoza Gogo👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 this applies to me in a very confusing but honest way. Just found out about your channel and I’m here to stay👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Wow...only watched this now as I am in a process of self introspection and checking what is it that contributes to the frustration and the delay in my progress ...I am so convicted....please enlightened me on how do I then reverse all the bad spirit one invite by entertaining exes...How do I undo the damage? Thank you for Sharing your wisdom 👏👏👏👏
Is it important for one to make a cleansing after you have broke up with your ex or exs
I think
Our Generation should learn from this, it happens it's real I've been thru it i don't want no relationship manje. I learned the hard way... Sithokoze baba
Thokoza gogo:I hope kuzwakele ama potholes avaliwe move on 😂😂
Vinnie Mbatha Warra, o e rerile botse kudukudu taba ye. Thobela 🙏🏽
I wish I could understand Zulu, this is so interesting. I need to learn the language though asap
He must opt for subtitles
Thokoza Salukazi se Ndoda.Thanx for the wisdom.Let the dead bury the dead.iNkosi thele umusa Maluju.
I just got back with my ex😢😢now I feel discouraged of this relationship already
Thokoza, no, see first on where is the relationship between the two of you is going. Mainly I was talking about an ex while you are in the good relationship already... All the best, just focus.
Oh now I feel so much better
I'm convinced... my Ex was a BAD spirit yazi #ThokozaGogo kwaaaaaks
😂 😂 😂 😂 U cn say dat again
Gogo video after video you are addressing relevant topics. Qhubeka njalo
This was a lot to take in, but soooo true!
Thank you daddy ,for guidance baba we need that ,God bless you
Thokoza Gogo. Ngiyabonga kakhulu for this. I really needed to hear this....
Gogo siyabonga ngama WI wakho is all true... We learn a lot kuwe Gogo👏👏👏
Thokoza Gogo/mkhulu..Mthiya..Ndabezitha..Shandu kaNdaba..wena ongangenso yenyoni..ngsho nasentendeni yesandla uyanela 🙋..inkosi ayiqedwa..angbonge salukazi sekhehla uqedile ungethole.
This message is profound.
Siyabonga, Gogo. 🙏🏽 I so appreciate how frank you are. Uyibeka injalo indaba.
That yellowbone part touched me
I don't believe in ancestors, I grew up in a Christian family, one of the reasons I don't believe in them I don't know them, I don't understand them and how they work but I recently met someone who believes soo much kuwo and I love him so much and I don't wanna constantly judge him for what he believes in can you please do a video explaining amadlozi ngyazicelela 🙏🙏🙏
And you know jesus? Lol
🙄🙄🙄🙄
Gogo Mbatha. Ngicela ukubuza ukuthi, wenzanjani ukulungisa impilo if kukhona owayethwalile ekhaya, wase uyashona kodwa angashongo ukuthi wathwala. Umuntu usizakala kanjani, nobe umndeni osele wona wenzanjani. Nokuthi kunesihlahla esikhulu se-avacado esingatheli kodwa esihlala njalo siluhlaza ekhaya.
But it's not easy when u have children with that person, u were married and he suddenly changed and stopped maintaining even the children.
Im platonic friends with many of my exes. They dont wish to be with me, I dont wish to be them. We were just both mature enough to aknowledge that we not good for each other but we remain good friends.
Its wrong. Physically you may be ok but spiritually they may be a connection or "soul ties"
Yazi Sonkophe, Mthiya, ngihlala ngiwabuka amavideos akho. Yabona le yona le topic, 🤞🤞🤞 we share the same sentiments.
I was accused so many times ukuthi nginenhliziyo embi for completely closing the door.
I always say, umuntu ohluleke ukuba committed to the relationship uyisihluleki and there's nothing e different azoyiletha ezofike ibenhle, except ukuthi uzokubangela more pain.
Rather leave him or her and get along with life. Lowo odalelwe yena will come your way and you'll be happier in a new relationship.
That's the way to go...
@@dr.gogobathinimbathatv 🙋♀️👏
I keep on leaving him for various reasons but he keeps on coming back after me ....Hard to move on ....I am stuck but fighting it slowly
Same Dliana.
Thank you Comes up with the Devil
Samw
Thanks for the message, though I don't understand your language but I understand what you talk in English. I wish you could do the while consent in English. Thank you once again.
Thokoza Gogo What do you say about friendships between exes?
Thokoza Gogo. Thank you for this informative vid, it's message resounds. I have one complaint though, which is that I can't find the video you promised on the spiritual consequences of cheating. If there is one already, please supply the link.
🙏🏾
Nasi lesambatho I dreamt abt but without the leopard part... 🙏 Can you share about them I think there was a video or yayiyemabhayi 🤔
Muntu usefundile lana I never use to pay attention to this, kumanje am watching this I can see ukuthi inkinga yami ikuphi, I have learned alot here...
Thokoza Gogo
Does this mean that I need a cleansing of a sort to stop going back to my ex even if he only seems to come in my life when I am alone especially when I haven't been dating for a very long time. With me it is not hard for me to stay single but this man will just appear in Mr life when I am all alone
Yes. He also could be monitoring you. Because Everytime you're single he reappears. He knows spiritually. You should close the door permanently
Wayibeka yacaca Gogo. I'm new to your channel. I have been binging your episodes since the early morning. Ungimbulile amehlo ezintweni eziningi.
Hahaha kwakune Pothole seyavalwa! I love that one Thokoza Gogo 👏🏾🙏🏾
Gogo please make a video explaining friends with benefits. Is it the same as dating? if not, which one is worse?
The truth you speak Gogo🙌🏽
Standing ovation 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Thank you so much Gogo this information is uplifting and very useful to my life.
Yabona Mthiya uyageqa ukhulumisa okomtefa awunandaba noma bengabaleka mina idata lami angilikhaleli mangikulalele ngazuthi nje uthi onezindlebe makezwe ongafuni gede, Syabonga Bhuti
Gogo cela uthini indaba yokuphupha umuntu wesifazane athi ukumele.
Mawubuzisisa kwabamaziyo.
-bathi lendawo engizibone kuyo ngiyomkhangela, bathi ngempela uhlala lapho.
Kodwa angikaze ngimshele or noma sibe nobidlelwano naye, kodwa yena siyazana.
thokoza gogo👏...so educative and encourageous..
I would love to see the videos in English. I want to learn more about African spirituality and cultural customs. Please and thank you! 💜🧘🏾♀️🧿✨💫🕯🧜🏾♀️💎🌍
Wow! What an eye opener.. Thank you Gogo👏👏
Ngiyabonga gogo, engathi ukhuluma nami, ngizwile👂🙌
Yhooo hayi ungujikelele vha uyayazi into oyenzayo, futhi akakho ofana naye . Lentol oyiohathidiweyo uzuyigcine. Awu locksmith, umavula kuvaliwe emzini wamanye amadoda
Wow!ngyakuzwa gogo!kaze ngizwe umuntu wesilisa ekhuluma iqiniso elinje!!
Thokoza Gogo hope ukahle asisakwazi but I know this time is very busy for nina. Bengcela ubuza about the yellow and blue sambatho u are wearing but the dream was not clear🙏
Mina I've got a problem I can't seem to get over my ex and it's hurting me so much 😭😭
Gogo washaya... And in a case where you are Co parenting with ex... How can you show your current partner that what ever was existed between the ex is no longer there anymore. In some cases our partners dig up the past by the use of social media and end up ruining the relationship.
Dear Gogo thank u for the lesson at hand. My question is can I contact with the baby dad's with regard to kids matter?
Lapho amanzi ake ama khona, sekwakhiwa iMall 😅, batshele mnt'omdala... Siyabonga thina 🙇♀️👏👏👏❤️❤️❤️❤️
I dont deal with exes not even a hi. Once you go please go for once!
This is y don't like to go back to my exes .myb my ancestors are with me.my love jst vanishes for ex'ses
Wayibeka yacaca gogo...what i believe is umhlanzo uyawukhipha awube usawbuyisela uyawuchitha noma uwugqibe nje qha.
You are the best teacher 🙏
Can you get subtitles for your international audience
There's a guy ngajola naye and after a year i found out he had a girlfriend and so I broke up with him kodwa aftee that everytime he called I would go to him and the next day I would feel so bad I would have suicidal thoughts and just feel horrible and I did that for 2 years kodwa manje I got the strength to just talk to him... I think about him sometimes mara I'm never going back EVER
How do you deal with the ex were the are kids involved, how cut off the ex completely?