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@CitizenSoldier thank you. I just woke up and the first thing I do when having my coffee in the morning is go to either TH-cam or Spotify to see my notifications. Yet another song to add to my therapy playlist #musictherapy ❤️🎤❤️🎼❤️🎶❤️🎧❤️🇺🇸❤️🇦🇺❤️
@shadowdemonmusic Look, in the end, we're all responsible for our own actions. I know it's easy to blame God for our failure, but I'm pretty sure God didn't set us up to fail - I mean, He tells us what we have to do throughout the Bible, and there's nothing stopping anyone from trying their hardest to follow that.
@@rakurai7367 No, that's not true. king James TRANSLATED the Bible to English. God spoke through the people who wrote the Bible. It has many authors, but God is the Author overall.
When my OCD first reared it's ugly head, my obsession became Christianity. I became obsessed with reading the Bible, watching religious programming, praying, etc and my anxiety spurring on the compulsion was that I was going to go to hell; that I was a horrible person; that I didn't deserve God's love. My desperation to follow what my panic-addled brain took as "God's word" even carried over into my schoolwork. During the worst of it, I wrote "God willing" under the answers to the quiz questions questions in all my classes and in my projects because my brain had somehow interpreted "nothing happens without God's will" to thinking I needed to do that in order to keep God's love. I remember once I had to leave the classroom during a movie because the "sins" the movie was showing was triggering me severely. Finally after 3 or 4 months, I got medicated, and things in regards to my OCD have been uphill from there, for sure. I'm an atheist now, and I definitely no longer fear hell. Looking back I just wish I could grab kid me and hug them and tell them everything was going to get better, that they didn't have to fight so hard like this. And that I could yell at my parents back then for not getting me help right away. I look back on kid me as what I was, a scared child who deserved better. Anyway, when I saw this video for the first time today, I'm not sure I've ever felt more seen in my life. It's as though this song was written exclusively for me! But it wasn't! And that means that there are actually other people out there who understand what I've gone through. Every lyric of this song makes me feel understood on the deepest level possible. You have no idea how meaningful this is to me. All of your songs are super meaningful to me, but this one... I can't even express how much this one means to me. It shows me that I'm... I'm not as alone as I thought I was. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for all that you do
@@mighty679 That is 100% a misinterpretation of Job. The whole point of Job was to disprove the popular belief back then (and maybe some now) that if bad things happened to you, it was a punishment from God for sin that person had committed. The book of James explains to us that it is good to suffer for the Lord, as it will strengthen us in Him. Sometimes suffering is required to level up in life; to learn what couldn't be learned without it. Job lost everything at no fault of himself, but he stayed faithful to God and in return God blessed him with everything he had lost and more. God didn't set Job up to fail. He removed the things that were holding Job back from his intended potential.
I had this feeling for about two years and gladly realised that I don't have to be good enough for anyone but myself. Since then I found so much peace, even with my faith. I believe that God loves us no matter what. You are already enough. And nothing will change that
Kinda same for me, but my realisation was that God is fiction, created for the mass to keep them in control and make them good, so since then I realised i can be good enough for me and thats all I have to do, and somehow, since then, I ve never been happier. Kind of funny, since i stopped believeing in GOD, I actually started feeling happy. (food for thought)
@@ylr8128 Kinda feel the same. I don't know if I truly "believe", the only thing is that I think that there's something bigger than human beings, that's beyond our understanding. I started being happier as well when I stopped going to church or discuss with people who believe. It just ended in nothing and just costed my energy so yeah. Maybe it's the people, not the faith itself haha
@@ylr8128it won't last. I've heard your words from so many people and eventually they fall into a dark abyss and are too ashamed to turn back. You've been warned.
@@ylr8128Also I just spoke to a former Satanist yesterday who still had his sigils tatted on his arms and chest talking about how a Christ is the only solution and that he regretted turning away for so long. You're acting like being a coward and running makes you strong. It doesn't. One day you'll remember this tiny comment. Turn back to God when you do.
It's hard not to beat ourselves up for sin. But God doesn't want us to feel guilt or shame - he nailed all that to the cross alongside Jesus. We are free. He will hold us just as tightly and love us just as much when we sin as any other time.
This song is how I would describe my relationship with God and religion after going through religious trauma. It’s a rough journey but it’s worth the healing. Thank you Citizen Soldier for the song
"I wouldn't blame you for pretending not to hear me pray" this line hits hard Never heard a song that actually made me want to cry but this one really hit me in the feels, citizen soldier always hits the nail on the head
Took me a long time to realise that love isnt something you earn, its a gift to give and recieve. And God helped me learn that. You are loved and youre already enough.
But if he loves everyone, then why does the bible say gay people create "monstrosities" and "abominations"... i'm going to hell for not believing in something i have no reason to believe exists? Doesn't sound very nice.
@Drag0nmaster Because it is a sin. We ALL sin but if you pray to overcome these sins God will lead you down the right path. I have nothing against someone gay and i would never judge them, but it is our job to spread God's will and speak his word and the truth. You can't live in your sin & be proud of it and expect to go to heaven because you think you were a "good" person. God's grace and our faith is what will get us into heaven, not the good deeds we do. ❤ Your comment shows you don't know much about the Bible or God's word. I pray you just take your time to do your own reading and understanding and I promise you will see the unconditional love God has for us❤
@@Drag0nmaster He does love everyone, no matter the bad things we do. He loves us equally. He does not love the sin, though. And he does not love the sin not because something happens to him when we sin, but because what happens to us, the sinners. Whenever we do something bad to others or to ourselves we are actually hurting us and putting ourselves in a path that it's going to cause us suffer. God don't want that for us, he wants us to be happy and want us to leave in peace. He knows what is more convenient for us so we can live free (that's kind of the role faith plays: maybe we don't understand why something is bad for us, but we trust God, so we avoid doing it). So, practicing homosexuality is wrong, but being homosexual is not. God love gay people, but he does not love them hurting themselves by practicing homosexuality. Plus, calling them "Abominations" is something from the Ancient Testament, when people did not understand God truly. But in the New Testament, when Jesus came to earth as a man, he showed humanity what God was really about, and that is LOVE. He love gay people, and we all should love gay people. Why would I won't love you just because you have different preferences? And it breaks my heart whenever someone calleing themselves "christians" fail in following Jesus example in this matter. And just to finish my comment here, I don't think you're going to hell for not believing, I think anyone of us will go to hell for the bad we have done if we do not regret it and change our ways to do the good instead; and in my experience is easier to live doing good to myself and others when I believe, because believing gives my life sens, direction and purpose. All these religious matters are bigger and more complex than what I can express in a youtube comment, but the good news is that WE ALL ARE LOVED BY GOD AND WE WILL BE HAPPIER IF WE LEARN TO LIVE LOVING OURSELVES AND EVERYONE ELSE AROUND US. You are loved @Drag0nmaster, no matter if you believe in him or not ❤
As a Christian and one who suffers from anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. Like so many I to have asked “ Why do I have to suffer?” But I never blame or hated God, because even though I’m suffering he has bigger purpose for me. His Grace is sufficient for me. There’s not a day that I don’t battle alone against these demons because he’s been beside me all along. It’s human beings that left, judged, and treated me wrong. Not God. There’s too many superstitions in the religion world that they are misunderstanding those who suffers from these demons. But God never abandon, even though it’s easy to see it that way because that’s what the demons wants us to see. I praise God even though I’m battle worn. I’m fighting for my life along with my Heavenly Father.
Its ok to be angry at God. It wouldnt be healthy to deny or ignore your anger. You can't let a relationship be built without expressing to each other how you feel. Thats why you should tell God how you feel and stop with convincing yourself is Gods "will", because it isnt. Stop coping and lying to yourself and be honest. He loves you and cares for you, so want you to be honest. Cast all your fears and anger on Him. He is God, so He can take it. I when I was 12 did the same and it was the biggest mistake of my life. Am not going to see every hardship and bad feeling as something "good" or as an unicorn. You shouldnt be telling this others too. It will make them withdraw from God because of their emotions. God doesnt want that!!!! Please be your real self and not fake. God is looking for a true Christian not someone who only sees sunshine and not the truth. God said it Himself: these world is full of evil and innocent people lead because of it. God DOESNT want that so He send Christ. If He find it okay, He wouldnt gave a solution, a way out of darkness. But He did, He gave liberty (delivery) and still does. The answer is the cross. Of you dont want a TRUE relationship with God, ask yourself what is stopping you. Are you angry, hurt or sad? Maby all of them. I know am still angry, but am not going to ignore it, but confront God with it. Ask Him to help you and find a way out.❤ He loves you!!!! Just like I do❤😊 God loves you▶️ ✝️
As a Christian who struggles with religious obsessions and compulsions, this song hits the nail on the head. For the record, I don't blame God for my suffering. I blame the fall, and those who misuse scripture to suite their own purposes. Regardless of what people say, Jesus loves you, died for you, and rose for you. Nothing anybody says can change that, no matter what. Nor can any (in my case) intrusive thoughts make you be forsaken. No mental illness can remove you from the palm of His hand. In fact, the very reason Christ came was precisely BECAUSE we can't be good enough. Not then, not now. He lived the perfect blameless life so we can be saved despite our flaws.
I am a Christian, struggling with my past trauma. This is perfect. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much!!! I love you guys so much. Every song makes me cry because it is so relatable... ❤🩹
Humans suck, we can all agree that humans are amazing examples of love and goodness. Sometimes people can be amazing, but we are all still not perfect, sadly. "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," (Romans 3:23). I am sorry for your trauma and bad experiences. I pray you find healing.
Thank you! I started going to a christian school this year and it's starting to help. The only thing I have trouble with is memorizing all of the scriptures they give us each month. Thanks for the encouragement. It means a lot to me.@@jiahmiller3861
We are all loved by God. I don't know what you went through but I have come to know of the love of God. I felt quite the opposite of what I do know now though. We all have things that are broken in us but with God just know that all will be made right again in Him. Great love and respect for you. God cares and so do I even though I don't know who you are❤️🩹
I’m really glad this song came out. Not because I relate to it, which I honestly don’t, but it gives me perspective into what it’s like to have religious trauma. I myself am a disciple of God, and this is what I have to say: To anyone and everyone who has been hurt by people who claim to be “Christians” and used God’s name for harm, my heart goes out to you. I may not relate to your situation, but I sympathize greatly with your pains and I’m truly sorry that this has happened to you. I send you my hope and care, and pray that you can overcome this pain. It may not always look like it, but you and everyone else can overcome anything, and I believe in you all the way.
To add: God doesn't mind when you mess up. For people to use him as a weapon the way so many do is disgusting. God loves you. If you believe on his name you are saved from the guilt. He doesn't want you to feel ashamed!
Damn I've been waiting for this since I saw the short, you guys never miss and you always speak the truth!! Thank you for being real with your music and giving people, including myself, a safe space to feel better
When first starting my walk in the faith, truly, I was obsessed with rules and scruples to the point that I was actually losing grip on reality a little. But that's the entire point - we aren't good enough, we can't be - and that's why we need Jesus. He loves us regardless; there's literally nothing we can do to EARN Heaven. It's a shame that unconditional love gets overcomplicated in our heads like this and, even worse, when other people twist it as an excuse to hate. I just want to put it out there that I'd love to talk to anyone who has confusion or uncertainty regarding the Christian faith. You're free to reply to this comment if you want. God bless! And as always, the song is another instant hit from Citizen Soldier!
That song...is more important than it seems like. A lot of people are struggling if they are good enough, like being selfharm or hurting theirselves. Some people say that's a sin, cause we're gods creation so we shouldn't do this, but they don't know what is inside our minds! Thank you so much for figuring this out with this banger track. Btw. LOVE the heavy screamy bridge!🔥🙏
"Cant imagine any paradise worth this pain" this hit me in my core.. Thank you all for once again putting words to a feeling i cant seem to describe on my own. Your music continues to be a light for me.
As a Christian, this song really breaks my heart. Not because "how dare it exist" but because in a faith that's meant to be all about love and helping each other... It hurts knowing so many got it so wrong and caused trauma rather than helped with it :/ Not the song for me, obviously, but just all the love and broken heart to those who had to experience Christians who didn't understand what it meant to love like Christ, and I hope this song can bring you some comfort ❤️
The real gospel is that he doesn't care if we're not perfect. He cares that we believe, and he handles e erything else. It's really heartbreaking what some people have been through.
I agree 💯%, we are enough as long as we live through him even in hard times, especially then. Bad things happen for a reason and to help us grow in faith we just need to make the choice to let it all go for God to handle even ivita hard and scary
I know the gospel...I know it's not about me. ...but it doesn't change how the thoughts are, what life is like, the battles against sin and just sick of failing. I know that sanctification isn't about me...but this pain is just too much sometimes....right now it's too much... I don't want to read, I don't care enough to do anything. Work starts in a few hours and I have more compulsion to do that for the sake of not getting fired then give a darn about my heart/healing/soul... I just want to cry, or die....
Christianity, just like every other religion ever, was not made for "spreading love" it was made to alienate and condemn those that people deem "unfit" religion divides and destroys anything it touches. What I have learned in life is that if god is all powerful then he isn't good, and if he is good then he isn't all powerful.
“All my deepest scars are mental, from living this quietly” “My body has become a temple, for all my anxieties”. Many times I can't defend myself, everyone seems to want to be in control of my life, I can't bear the weight of words and whenever I think about it, I cry more and shut myself down. I am a liar who supposedly lives without thinking about what I do to others, I have been called in many ways and I want God to give me parental love and give me comfort. That's why I pray every night, to feel the Holy Spirit on me, I want someone to comfort me, and not have to deal with myself without having an ounce of love for myself. I can't open up without having to cry, I lie so as not to worry anyone and now it's taking its toll on me, only God can see through my soul and know what's wrong with me
Everyone sins according to every religion I guess, but doesn’t it depend on what you do? Everyone gossips, everyone lies, but what about certain things you can physically do to people that are a million times worse than that?
@@ForMeNotAgainstMe Ephesians 2 8-9 8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: 9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.
@@glacia15 Everyone is born into sin whether we like it or not. The price of sin is death. That’s why as God, manifested in the flesh as Jesus, had to die for us.
For those who need to hear this. You will be okay, and your life, no matter how hopeless you feel , you are good enough, and your life worth fighting for. I'm proud of you for getting this far, I believe in you. There may be a long road ahead of you but you will make it, I know you will. Keep going champ 🏆😁❤️
“I’ve never felt more lost trying to be good enough for God.” I experienced that years and years ago before I just kinda came to a decision on religion about worshipping in my own way. I tried to worship the way I was taught and I felt more alone. I was to suffer my anxieties and depression while smiling behind a mask. Because the only answer to any pain I felt was “give it to God.” That wasn’t an answer that felt right. My pain wasn’t a “thing” I could just pass to someone else. It was a part of who I was. And that answer made me feel like *I* was wrong for having the thoughts and feelings that had been built from my experiences in life. Or my other favorite “God gives us only what we can handle.” That led me to believe some pretty twisted things about God as I watched others’ lives from the sideline. Anyway, that one line makes me just feel better about my past and how I’ve come to terms with my religious views. Thanks for the art and keep it up. Can’t wait til y’all are in NC!!
This song is so much deeper than some thing. It was never really God that was the one doing harm. It was all the other Christians who carnally point out all the imperfections of others thinking they are perfect now that they are saved. It creates this pressure to live up to these other Christians expectations instead of remembering God's opinion is what matters. As a former Christian who was pushed away because of the very thoughts written in this song, I'm happy that there is a song that put my thoughts into words.
36 year old me wishes 17 year old me could have heard this back then. Brought back some emotions that I wish someone else had understood then. Thank you for sharing parts of yourself with us. 🖤
God loves you no matter what you did and how you see yourself… I often struggle with my depression and anxiety constantly lying to to me and making me question if I’m good enough to see Him face to face and make it up there to my real home which is Heaven… You will never truly be a failure in Jesus eyes. You were meant to be loved. You were worth dying for.. our minds and demons lie to us every day but our God won’t ever lie. ❤ This song breaks my heart but speaks to me in so many ways. Awesome job Citizen Soldier!
Thank you for this song. I used to think I wasn't good enough for God or anyone. Then I realized that I wouldn't be here, but for God. He helps me survive through each major episode, if I want help or not.
God loves you regardless of the times you mess up. He's always there for you, even that moment you sin before you even regret it. He holds you close and wishes you wouldn't feel so ashamed. He paid the price already. There's no need for this pain :)
YES! This is the song I've been waiting for. Obviously this song isn't just for people like me, but as a christian who is still weak to the lust of the flesh and more (even though it's been a year and a half since the day I was baptized), this whole song (except for the bridge, I'd say) is a mood. I don't think I've ever been angry at God, but I do often get angry at myself even though he's always been good to me. This has become the most relatable song you've ever released as well as my all-time favourite. Well done, everyone.
I can tell you that it is extremely hard at times but the BEST thing I can recommend is to find a couple really good close friends and let them in. Ask for help when you need advice on scripture or just life in general. I’ve been in church my whole life but I’m only just now (almost 20) learning to act like someone who’s changed. I’m really happy for you getting baptized. Also, check out the song ‘You Love Me Anyway’ by Sidewalk Prophet. The bridge especially is amazing and it helped me with thoughts similar to this song.
This came at exactly the right time. I just had my first therapy session with my doctor, finally feeling strong enough to ask for help. I've grown up religious and I've asked myself multiple times if I would be good enough for Him. People say that you give yourself the anser you want to hear, but to me the answer almost always felt like no. Somehow you guys manage to convey so many thoughts and emotions that feel impossible to explain in 3 minute songs and every word makes it feel like there really are people who understand what it's like to have to fight mentally. Showing him your guys' songs because nothing else I can think of tells the story of what it's like the way your songs do. Thank you so much for everything. You're part of the reason that I found the strength to actually ask for help. You, and the community you've managed to build. No words can express how grateful I am for all of you 💜
Sadly so many people get "being a Christian" wrong. No one is ever "good enough, or worthy enough" for God. It has nothing to do with that because as humans/flesh no one ever measures up. God doesn't expect perfection because he knows "we all sin and come short of the glory of God". All he truly wants is our heart. He wants us to live by his word, NOT man's word. Every church has their own "doctrine" meaning they pick certain things out of the bible for their own religion. God didn't create religion, man did. All God ever ask of us is to keep his commandments. Trust, and love him. People make is much more complicated than what God asks of us.
This is one of your greatest songs. And well It is so much how I feel... "I had my darkest thoughts trying to get to Heaven" irony. And everything, everything else!! You made pure masterpiece!!! Even I think you don't need opinon of someone like me.)
Bless you my dear brothers, you’ve helped so many misguided souls. You guys never stop being the voices people need to hear. God bless those who believe you need to earn his love, he made each and every one of you, and you are perfect in his eyes. God bless you Citizen Soldier❤
Every song you've released over the last year has kept me from not only feeling alone but from taking that action that cannot be taken back. My children are my reason, the someone else I have to be strong for. It's not getting easier, but your music helps me keep hoping it some day can. Thank you for sharing where your mind is, and helping all of us who are trapped there as well.
Ive been waiting for months for this song to drop, after hearing the chorus on Facebook. I never felt darker or more broken that when i was trying to be the Christian everyone wanted me to be, that i was never good enough or worthy of God's love if i didnt agree with the teachings of this fairh. It wasnt until i let go of the church and titles and just focused of God and what i felt was best for my spirit. Religion made me feel angry and broken. Spirit made me feel peace.
"I can't imagine any paradise is worth this pain " that part is so true. I have so much church trauma this song really hits hard. It's beautiful thank you ❤🤘🏾
Remember Matthew 11:29-30 when Jesus says: For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. The only thing we are asked of is to trust in the Gospel of Jesus Christ and that He died on the cross for our sins and rose 3 days later. Forgiveness is given through Him and all that must be done is to confess to Him. All of the overburdening and the "you'll never be good enough" comes from the lies of the enemy who wants you to crumble and fall. Love you guys Citizen Soldier, and seeing this breaks my heart and I wish I could do more to help you see how Jesus loves and how God takes care of us.
@@THATCRZYKING you can by sharing the Gospel. Good job!!! But know that even though Jesus gives us a new yoke, it doesnt mean all the pain and trouble go away. Its always good to be honest to God about your feelings, like anger, sadness, hate, fear. Ive hated God and am still trying to figure out how I can turn it around (Reading the Bible). But know that telling only one side of the story, will maby bring them hope, but not necessarily closer to God. Telling people they have the right to feel what they feel and confront God with it, makes them more open to God and in contact. Even though Hes perfect, doesnt mean I cant be angry at Him. I dont care how good you are, Im going to be angry when you make feel sad or when I have the feeling you (God) came short (not enough). Thats what you should be telling and slowly also introducing them with the Gospel of Christ (the cross). So trust can be build, without trust there's nothing. Faith in God also means trusting Him. Also litteraly, but how can they trust Him when this society and some "Christians" are telling people to hide theie feelings😡 This is why there are more sad people, more phone-people and more suïcide rates each year!! I dont know if you are one of them, but cut the crap with the sunshine and God "wants" us to suffer. He doesnt, so stop with coping and telling others lies. This is why people withdraw from God. He DOESNT want us to suffer, why do you think He sacrificed Himself For nothing? Of course not. He did it, He gave a solution for A WAY OUT of suffering (the darkness). Didnt He said Hes the light, the way, the truth, the way out of dark. That should give people hope, not that demons are following them. But that someone overcame these demons and the devil so that we dont have to (we also cant). He loves you♥ Have a nice day!!! And I hope you'll see God as He truly Is and read the Bible. Im trying to know Him too, even though Hes difficult to understand
'Am I a failure or did you set me up to fail' this line can transcend just this one topic. I feel it deeply in regards to the manipulators in my life. The ones that harm in more basic ways than just religiously. Their actions often have me feeling like I failed, when I should realise quicker each time it's more how they have rigged the game. Also, don't let anyone tell you if you are good enough for God or not. They are not God. Many will pretend to be people of God but that doesn't mean they are right or good. Don't trust just because they are or say they are people of God. God is love and love forgives. If you are a good person or trying to be then I believe you are good enough for God. God by grace not by deed. Or something akin to that line has been something someone not condemning has said to me. I feel unwanted by God because the world has always made me unwanted. I'm working to change my perspective of myself from what bad people have drilled into me. Just because they said it dasen't mean it's what God agrees with. 🤗 To all.
My grandfather is a preacher, and our family trauma hidden behind the lectures has pushed me to the edge so many times. This song hit so hard for so many reasons...but it is super healing, never stop creating these amazing songs. I guarantee you they are life changing! Love you guys and all that you do! 🩷🌷
There are no sins (or addictions) that would take God’s love away. One day at a time. Acknowledgment and progression key. Faith required. Song point on to a societal misconception. I am not worthy yet God is there embracing me and inspiring to be the best version of myself. Be strong. Do not listen to others. You will make it. Much love to all.👍🏼
As a gay pastor's kid this song hits me sooooo hard. I spent over a decade fighting the repression, denial, and fear. I spent so long doing everything I could to "fix" myself, but ultimately I wasn't broken and it has been really hard accepting who I am and coming to terms with that.
God doesn't make broken people. We all have our own struggles and some of them are overwhelming. Each of us faces temptation of a different kind, but that doesn't mean anyone has the right to shame someone else for being tempted by something different. Regardless - I have mountains of respect for gay Christians. You have sacrificed more for Christ than I ever have, possibly more than I ever will. Mad respect. I hope you find peace in the Lord ❤❤
"Some days I let myself get angry cause I tried my best; then overthink it, hit the gaslight, and start to second guess." Wow. The amount of times in my life where I've "repented" to or "re"accecpted Him into myself, because I wonder if it "still counts" because I haven't been this "perfect" Christian... I've stopped going to the church (for reasons), but I live my life day to day trying to be a good person without dragging along the hate; a way that I would hope God would approve of. But I still always wonder if it's good enough cause I'm not running around evangelizing to everyone I know... Love this song because it perfectly encapsulates those feelings.
I am constantly told that going to back to church where I feel like an outsider and praying will help with my anxiety and depression. The one who tells me apparently can't understand that when you have always been abandoned, replaced, and ignored, it makes you feel like not even a supposedly all powerful god will care. Especially when you pray and nothing changes so it's always in his time. At least I'm learning that I only have to be good enough for me, not matter how much I may fail.
I remember my grandma always saying "God doesnt give you anything you cant handle" when I was a child. As an adult I can say she was half wrong but mostly misunderstanding. God treats our trials like weight training. He increases the weight through our lives to make us stronger. He just has to start some of us early since he knows we need to be strong enough to fireman carry someone else through their pains.
So, God thought it was okay to have me suffer a miscarriage. Because he was testing my strength? Thank you for reminding me why I hate the church and the "Christians" in it.
So, God thought it was okay to have me suffer a miscarriage. Because he was testing my strength? Thank you for reminding me why I hate the church and the "Christians" in it.
“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” Revelations 21:4 I’m good enough for God ♥️ & so are yiu
Breaks my heart that "church" makes people feel this way, because it is literally the opposite. God wants you to come to him exactly how we are........broken. if we weren't, there would have been no need for him to send his son to die for people who curse him, spit in his face and hate him. He wants you just to let him love you. Trying to be perfect for God is like cleaning up to take a bath.
@@Drag0nmaster no, he doesn't hate you. He loves you just as much as anyone. When christ was on Earth he ate with and hung out with prostitutes and "tax collectors" basically the lowest of the low, not that that's what you are, but the point is.he loves you just how you are. I understand your reply very well. I respect your pov, but I would love to help you understand that he is literally waiting for you with arms wide open waiting to embrace you exactly as you are. Yes, the Bible calls lgbtq lifestyles as sin, but we all have sin. I don't agree with any kinda of aversion therapy or anything else. It's been my personal experience with some very dark places that if you sincerely believe that Jesus is the son of God and that he died and ressurected......that's it. You don't have to say some long pious prayer or fall down bawling.....that the Holy Spirit will slowly change you on the inside, and sometimes instantly, but usually as you seek him in the Bible or church or internet you will grow spiritually. But whatever and however you feel or believe, I hope for you a happy joy filled life. Our beliefs don't mean we have to be adversaries or hate each other. All my best to you for a blessed life my friend.
I just adore you guys. ALL your songs sing to my soul. I lost my father last year to cancer. His final words to me were a prayer that I could barely understand. The moment he left so did my sanity. My rational, science focused mind just shattered. I fell to my knees and could not breathe. As anxiety took over me I used all my strength to muster a prayer. Not long after I got short of air and blacked out. Fell to face first for aroundaminuteor two. After I woke I rose to my feet a different man, a new man. Now every day I work to try to find the path that my father was guided by. I try my very best to earn my ticket to see him again. I try my best to shut out all the thoughts and doubts I used to have about religions. With all my heart I believe my father and our God saved me that day and I will NOT take that gift for granted. Forever a proud Junior.
You don't have to earn anything. If God has saved you - which I believe along with you that he has - then you have nothing left to prove. You will see your father again, I am sure of it. And I'll see you there! ~~ a sister in Christ :)
I've struggled with religious-based obsessive compulsive disorder as long as I can remember. I was diagnosed at 17, thank God, but knowing what it is doesn't make it stop. I've never heard anyone describe my experience so exactly before.
I grew up in a religious family, and the pressure and judgment from everyone in that community is so bad it caused trauma that is really hard to live with. This song was awesome and I'm loving it. I'll definitely be listening on repeat for a while ❤
If you’re judged by Christians, you are literally the problem because you are willfully doing things that go against God. You didn’t experience trauma, you’re just insecure and weak.
Non-christian here but love to read all forms of religious text. I noticed tons of people here suffer religious trauma and as a nobody with an ego i wanna say that. You have been, is, and always worthy of God's love. Your sins and bad habits do not define you. Seek His guidance for you to love yourself. Many people use religious text to punish us for our sins. But wasnt Mary Magdalene sinful as well? Didnt Peter deny Christ but was still forgiven. Love yourself through your sins and bad habits. Find your own way to share the joy and love He wishes to see in the world. Love His Children, your friends, and your family in a way you know how and I trust you will feel God's love. Oh and ps great song Citizen Soldier hahaha
Jake's voice is so WOW!!! It send chills through my whole body! The lyrics and the melody are doing an awesome job by pushing the emotions of the singing just right into your soul! This whole song is awesome! This song is about religious trauma, but you can use everything and everyone as a substitut imo. A lot of people can understand the raw feeling behind those lyrics and I'm sure this will help them feeling seen and understood!
The way it echos "Father this is",.... (the way ive stuttered, the way ive been stigmatized and judged and ( the way even in my prayers, i ... Cant speak sometimes and its not that i dont want to pray.... its not what Gods done, but what's been done in the name of.... i... Feel so grateful for you all. Thanks for becoming everything you've ever become to make it this far and using your experience to help others. I don't know if i can get out of my grief, i don't know if I'll be able to overcome things from my past. They play nightly, secondly, hourly, day by day.... and yet even after all the times, I've resembled lyrics from each song I've ever met... (listened to), even with every (;) i wanted to avoid, i want to hear more..... if that and what the clouds look like or the memories that are precious to me that don't hurt so much are the only thing... ✨️ thats 💯 👌.
Damn this hits hard Citizen Soldier has been so helpful recently with me having low mental health, I started listening to them last year and they have helped me release anger just listening to these songs
Jesus loves you no matter what you do or what you've done, everyone who has suffered religious trauma I'm so sorry, but you're always good enough to come to him. I struggled with terrible depression for 7 years until I realized this and in that exact moment he healed me. The love is unconditional. We're all sinners alike but that's okay. God bless❤
I just started basically screaming the lyrics to this song. For a good amount of my teen life I tried,I tried my hardest to believe in god. When I was homeless,when I was trying to give my drunken father a chance at my life and him clearly never caring enough to even show up again. When my grandfather passed away from cancer and we had no money to support the house me and my mom lived in so I prayed for an answer but I had to drop out of high school to try and support my mom. I couldn't even grieve my wonderful grandfather cause I had to work or we ended up homeless and yet it still wasn't enough,we ended up living in our car yet again but I still tried praying. Years and years until finally I snapped and stopped believing. I had great moments in my life and sure even now I am living better then I have before but I do not believe its cause I waited for a miracle,I believe its cause I finally took my life in my own hands and started fixing things. I wanted so bad to be good enough for god but at this point in my life,I can't ever see how all that pain,all the mental struggles I ended up carrying and still do to this day,would ever be worth stepping through heavens gates if they are real. Thank you citzen soldier for this song. Thank you for just everything.
It took years, DECADES for me to be where I am currently. I AM proud of myself, even if no one else seems to be. I am NOT a failure, no one is, we're all trying out best in this world. Whether you believe in God, are religious in some way, or neither, everyone is good enough, because you are alive and doing the best in whatever situation you are currently in. I might be a random stranger, but I am proud of you and I love you. You are worthy. You are good enough.
This song is the embodiment of my thoughts ever since my father's death back in 2016..."I just can't imagine any paradise that's worth this pain" is exactly how I felt and thought when i had to pull the plug on my father's life support You guys pour all emotions into your songs, and it shows, keep up the good work.
i love it as a born again christian i wanna point a few things 1. noones ever good enough and works wont help we are saved by believing jesus died and rose for us and by having faith then from that second we are saved by his grace.2 don't fall for the catholic ways trust me they aint showing the true gospel. 3.god never sets us up to fail he loves us all. and 4. i love the tracks you bring man its amazing to hear this stuff
@@Lucy-nw4im home you guys worship Mary more than Jesus I have proof Catholics post pictures and the supposed vicar of christ allows lgbtq and Muslim to be blessed with him simply put Catholics are insane and need help simple as that
😢 That's the whole point, folks. Humanity set itself up to fail. God gave every good gift you see before you, and we mucked it up. He doesn't hate you; He hates what separates you from Him. The Old Testament laws were given to show you that you *can't* hold up to His standards, and that's why He sent someone to hold up to them *for* us. Your task isn't to earn forgiveness, but to stop trying to pay the penalties yourself and accept the gift of them being paid for you.
This sounds exactly what its like suffering with religious trauma. Constantly gaslighting yourself and feeling ashamed of just being a human. This is exactly what religion does to people. This is also what I was thinking when I was a christian. The chorus is what I see now reflecting on the way I was as well as the line "am I a failure or did you just set me up to fail". Thats the trap set by most christian denominations, you're supposed to fail. I am a non-theistic(or atheist) Satanist now and honestly I'm so much happier that I don't self gaslight anymore(at least for religious purposes). I know some of you might be religious but it still aplies to you as well. Great song to meditate on for recovery IMO.
I wasn't even sent a notification, HOW DARE YOU, TH-cam! P.S: Y'all have been doing such a great job with songs lately, It's so great to see how the band evolves over the years. Much love!
Hang in there :) the balance can be hard, but it is worth it! Don't beat yourself up too much if you can help it. God doesn't, so why should you? God doesn't want you to be ashamed.
This is one of the few songs that adequately describe my religious trauma. I've been waiting a while for this one and it was well worth the wait. My favourite line is "am I a failure or did you just set me up to fail". Very powerful.
As a Christian, I am deeply sorry to see all these comments about religious trauma and hypocrite "church people" or parents putting young and fragile kids under so much trauma, fear and judgment. I just want you to know that Christianity is not what they have portrait to be: God is about patience, kindness, absence of judgement and complete and utter love and understanding, you didn't deserve to be put through all of that, and I want you to know that God loves you for who you are, and you are indeed good enough for Him, He's in love with you, He had you in His mind and heart before your parents, and the people from family and in the church who did those horrible things to you, they're not from God not are doing His will, they Projected their pain and frustration onto you. I love you all tremendously
This is the one I've been waiting for. As an ex catholic, it hits so close to home. The trauma of being told that everything about me was wrong, that I was going to hell for being who I was, being threatened by the same people who claimed to only preach love. They were some of the biggest hypocrites I'd ever met, and learning to rebuild myself and reframe my thoughts in adulthood was so much harder than I thought it would be. Thank you for this song, it makes me realize that I wasn't as alone as I thought I was during those dark times 💙
you're never alone. there are so many of us who have felt the exact same way. who have wondered day after day why something that supposedly preaches love seems so intent on tearing us down and telling us that who we are is a mistake, a sin. but it's not. you're perfect as you are. and you can find faith (or not) on your own terms
@@dylannijhof5115Dude stop giving people that were traumatized by exactly that religion even more push towards it. What did the poor guy to you to deserve that?
@@saintbenny8287 je didnt do anything to me, i am just trying my best to comfort them. I never grew up in church and never whent to one either. i cant imagine how this trauma must feel. I am not a christian but a follower of Christ, and I am just trying to spread love from the one who saved me from doing anything to myself. Most assuredly i can say to you the people that said this to you will most likely not going to heaven cuase of there corrupt speaking, but that is not my job to judge. Sorry if you picked this up wrongly, i am trying my best to comfort people the way he comforted me
Yeah, I knew this one would hit me hard. Growing up in a religious family can indeed mess someone up. I realized that this message of "love" was really not love most of the time, and include manipulation, coercion, guilt and shaming so that I could "go to heaven". All my problems weren't because of religious trauma but that just solidified all else when you are being told constantly that you are a sinner and someone so bad simply for just being born. It sucks. I'm trying to heal from that, and from all the other stuff, but it's so hard once the trauma is deep inside. You end up feeling like a broken thing that will never be fixed. Thank you for making this song, you guys never miss! 🖤
"I can't imagine a paradise that is worth all this pain." Hits home. Somehow, Citizen Soldier just gets it. they know to how put exactly what i'm feeling into words and music. thank you guys
Being abused is trauma, being tortured by fire and knives is trauma, being told you deserve to die and were born of a demon while some guy chants over you and burns you and cuts you is trauma @@themisfitbrigade
Please dont think everyone is like themisfitbrigade, OP, please - as another Christian and, yes, as one without religious trauma, let me say I feel deeply sorry that you've had to deal with religious trauma. Trauma of any sort isn't to be taken lightly, and religious trauma is especially heartbreaking. Especially when people don't take it seriously. Please know that you are loved - truly loved. Accepted.
I am a Good Christian woman and thought thee Greatest wife, but my husband left me after 45yrs together 1979-2024 for a 30yr old girl!!! I Have been Threw Hell and Back, feeling like a Failure, UGLY. And Not Good Enough for anyone, But CITIZEN SOILDER, is The Greatest Therapy, NOW I'm divorced and Just got diagnosed with lymphoma Cancer in my neck wrapped around my aorta 😢😢😢😢😢😢, I Only Wished That KARMA Would Get my X, but instead I have to pay with my life!!!!😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢, Thank You So Much CITIZEN SOILDER FOR THE Greatest And most Helpful Songs FOR Everyone!!!!!!! Hopefully God Had a Music Room so I can still enjoy your Music!!!!! FOREVER FAN, LAURA ANN, MY FINAL FARWELL 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🫂🫂🫂🫂😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇, Wish you Had A Song To Cure MY Cancer 😢😢😢😢😢🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Hey, early again to your new song. Just know you have come so far. I've been here since day 1 i think i sead it in the last comment but proud to say it, but you have helped so many lost souls with your music you have so much power in your voice its stunning ❤
This song really hits hard for me. I started crying the first time I listened to it cause all the stuff I was taught growing up came back to me. "You have to do this to go to heaven. You have to accept Christ into your heart to go to heaven." "If you are a Christian, you're saved and you won't go to hell" Yeah, you taught me that until I came out to you and then you told me I wasn't a true Christian and that I was going to hell anyway. So, I gave up and stopped believing. If I can't ever be good enough for God then what's the point in even believing in him let alone the teaching that he "has a place for me in his kingdom'. If I won't be accepted into his kingdom the way I am, then I honestly don't want to go. I don't particularly want to be part of a religion that says they're based around love yet spread so much hate it makes people feel worthless and almost drives them to suicide. That doesn't sound very loving to me.
Romans 8:18 "What we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal” Stay strong my friends and keep your faith in God the father almighty 🙏
For people who say God doesn't love us because we were sent down to earth to suffer are wrong. We have sinned against God for eating from the tree of good and evil. God has a bigger plan for us in the future, whether you believe it or not. He will always be here for you. He has made a new heaven and new earth for us fro when we die or when God gives his judgment on this earth. Remember, God loves you, no matter what❤❤❤
I just discovered u guys on “reason to live” and at the time i was just like “its good” but now i listen to that along w others like “pretend my pain away” and “hate myself” etc. the songs r some of the biggest things that have kept me going. Im not over my depression yet, still at its peak, but im trying, and ur songs r helping. Ik u prob wont even see this, but thank u for all u guys do, cant wait to see wut the future has for u guys!
As soon as this is uploaded to SoundCloud, this is gonna be on repeat. I've always struggled with speaking my feelings, so I use songs since they do it better. This has described everything I've been through with an overly strict and religious father. It got to the point where I've constantly felt forsaken by God, to the point where I was planning on leaving my religion and going solo. I've since changed my mind, but it's still hard trying to heal from all this silent suffering. Thank you Citizen Soldier, for screaming my pain for me in words that I can scream back with all my heart. I love musicians whose music aims for the mentally ill among us, and you guys have hit that. Thank you, for screaming the pain for so many of us who are still suffering in silence. Thank you.
I feel this... but recently I haven't been. If he doesn't love you that's his loss. You are worthy of so much more and he will just be a stepping stone to your greatness
I feel every word of this song being by yourself is sometimes the best thing and being too real. will put u by yourself , and at least I have Princibles. I live my life by . real people will never have anyone by their side. The fake will have everyone by there's
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@CitizenSoldier thank you. I just woke up and the first thing I do when having my coffee in the morning is go to either TH-cam or Spotify to see my notifications. Yet another song to add to my therapy playlist #musictherapy ❤️🎤❤️🎼❤️🎶❤️🎧❤️🇺🇸❤️🇦🇺❤️
This song safe,good enough for god
can you make a song about parents forcing child to live a life they want them to?
“Can’t even think of one way i should love myself” That line hit hard 😭
Yeah me too. I felt that one very deep
Me too
This line speaks to me as to how I feel constantly 🥺😫😩😭
I feel you...
Damnn that’s me 24/7
In my opinion, “Am I a failure or did you set me up to fail” is the most powerful line. 🔥Love ya Citizen Soldier❤
Agreed!!! That line hit me soooo hard!!!!
@shadowdemonmusic Look, in the end, we're all responsible for our own actions. I know it's easy to blame God for our failure, but I'm pretty sure God didn't set us up to fail - I mean, He tells us what we have to do throughout the Bible, and there's nothing stopping anyone from trying their hardest to follow that.
It hits so hard and so true
@@scarleywestyou do know a random person wrote the bible?
@@rakurai7367 No, that's not true. king James TRANSLATED the Bible to English. God spoke through the people who wrote the Bible. It has many authors, but God is the Author overall.
When my OCD first reared it's ugly head, my obsession became Christianity. I became obsessed with reading the Bible, watching religious programming, praying, etc and my anxiety spurring on the compulsion was that I was going to go to hell; that I was a horrible person; that I didn't deserve God's love. My desperation to follow what my panic-addled brain took as "God's word" even carried over into my schoolwork. During the worst of it, I wrote "God willing" under the answers to the quiz questions questions in all my classes and in my projects because my brain had somehow interpreted "nothing happens without God's will" to thinking I needed to do that in order to keep God's love. I remember once I had to leave the classroom during a movie because the "sins" the movie was showing was triggering me severely.
Finally after 3 or 4 months, I got medicated, and things in regards to my OCD have been uphill from there, for sure. I'm an atheist now, and I definitely no longer fear hell. Looking back I just wish I could grab kid me and hug them and tell them everything was going to get better, that they didn't have to fight so hard like this. And that I could yell at my parents back then for not getting me help right away. I look back on kid me as what I was, a scared child who deserved better.
Anyway, when I saw this video for the first time today, I'm not sure I've ever felt more seen in my life. It's as though this song was written exclusively for me!
But it wasn't! And that means that there are actually other people out there who understand what I've gone through. Every lyric of this song makes me feel understood on the deepest level possible.
You have no idea how meaningful this is to me. All of your songs are super meaningful to me, but this one... I can't even express how much this one means to me. It shows me that I'm... I'm not as alone as I thought I was.
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for all that you do
It's really hard feeling this way when you work in a church. You can't express it and are terrified that everyone knows.
"Am I a failure or did you just set me up to fail" That line hits hard
God does infact set us up to. Story of Job for an example. It's all test.
yeah, that hits personally for me...
@@mighty679 That is 100% a misinterpretation of Job. The whole point of Job was to disprove the popular belief back then (and maybe some now) that if bad things happened to you, it was a punishment from God for sin that person had committed. The book of James explains to us that it is good to suffer for the Lord, as it will strengthen us in Him. Sometimes suffering is required to level up in life; to learn what couldn't be learned without it. Job lost everything at no fault of himself, but he stayed faithful to God and in return God blessed him with everything he had lost and more. God didn't set Job up to fail. He removed the things that were holding Job back from his intended potential.
I had this feeling for about two years and gladly realised that I don't have to be good enough for anyone but myself. Since then I found so much peace, even with my faith. I believe that God loves us no matter what. You are already enough. And nothing will change that
Kinda same for me, but my realisation was that God is fiction, created for the mass to keep them in control and make them good, so since then I realised i can be good enough for me and thats all I have to do, and somehow, since then, I ve never been happier. Kind of funny, since i stopped believeing in GOD, I actually started feeling happy. (food for thought)
@@ylr8128 Kinda feel the same. I don't know if I truly "believe", the only thing is that I think that there's something bigger than human beings, that's beyond our understanding. I started being happier as well when I stopped going to church or discuss with people who believe. It just ended in nothing and just costed my energy so yeah. Maybe it's the people, not the faith itself haha
@@ylr8128it won't last. I've heard your words from so many people and eventually they fall into a dark abyss and are too ashamed to turn back.
You've been warned.
@@ylr8128Also I just spoke to a former Satanist yesterday who still had his sigils tatted on his arms and chest talking about how a Christ is the only solution and that he regretted turning away for so long.
You're acting like being a coward and running makes you strong. It doesn't. One day you'll remember this tiny comment. Turn back to God when you do.
He tells us to come as we are, not as we ought to be
This is the song struggling Christians like me needed to hear, thank you.
It's hard not to beat ourselves up for sin. But God doesn't want us to feel guilt or shame - he nailed all that to the cross alongside Jesus. We are free. He will hold us just as tightly and love us just as much when we sin as any other time.
@@tiffanysmith490 amen! ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
@tiffanysmith8659 No matter how ture that is, making myself believe it is the hard part.
@@tiffanysmith490Amen
@@damoclesecoe7184I feel that
This song is how I would describe my relationship with God and religion after going through religious trauma. It’s a rough journey but it’s worth the healing. Thank you Citizen Soldier for the song
deconstruction man, that's a mind trip and a half. but like you said, the healing is worth it
I'm a seriously backsliding christian so I can kind of relate to this
"I wouldn't blame you for pretending not to hear me pray" this line hits hard
Never heard a song that actually made me want to cry but this one really hit me in the feels, citizen soldier always hits the nail on the head
Took me a long time to realise that love isnt something you earn, its a gift to give and recieve. And God helped me learn that. You are loved and youre already enough.
But if he loves everyone, then why does the bible say gay people create "monstrosities" and "abominations"... i'm going to hell for not believing in something i have no reason to believe exists? Doesn't sound very nice.
@Drag0nmaster Because it is a sin. We ALL sin but if you pray to overcome these sins God will lead you down the right path. I have nothing against someone gay and i would never judge them, but it is our job to spread God's will and speak his word and the truth. You can't live in your sin & be proud of it and expect to go to heaven because you think you were a "good" person. God's grace and our faith is what will get us into heaven, not the good deeds we do. ❤ Your comment shows you don't know much about the Bible or God's word. I pray you just take your time to do your own reading and understanding and I promise you will see the unconditional love God has for us❤
You are perfect in his eyes, never forget that brother/sister❤
@@Drag0nmaster He does love everyone, no matter the bad things we do. He loves us equally. He does not love the sin, though. And he does not love the sin not because something happens to him when we sin, but because what happens to us, the sinners. Whenever we do something bad to others or to ourselves we are actually hurting us and putting ourselves in a path that it's going to cause us suffer. God don't want that for us, he wants us to be happy and want us to leave in peace. He knows what is more convenient for us so we can live free (that's kind of the role faith plays: maybe we don't understand why something is bad for us, but we trust God, so we avoid doing it). So, practicing homosexuality is wrong, but being homosexual is not. God love gay people, but he does not love them hurting themselves by practicing homosexuality. Plus, calling them "Abominations" is something from the Ancient Testament, when people did not understand God truly. But in the New Testament, when Jesus came to earth as a man, he showed humanity what God was really about, and that is LOVE. He love gay people, and we all should love gay people. Why would I won't love you just because you have different preferences? And it breaks my heart whenever someone calleing themselves "christians" fail in following Jesus example in this matter. And just to finish my comment here, I don't think you're going to hell for not believing, I think anyone of us will go to hell for the bad we have done if we do not regret it and change our ways to do the good instead; and in my experience is easier to live doing good to myself and others when I believe, because believing gives my life sens, direction and purpose. All these religious matters are bigger and more complex than what I can express in a youtube comment, but the good news is that WE ALL ARE LOVED BY GOD AND WE WILL BE HAPPIER IF WE LEARN TO LIVE LOVING OURSELVES AND EVERYONE ELSE AROUND US. You are loved @Drag0nmaster, no matter if you believe in him or not ❤
As a Christian and one who suffers from anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts. Like so many I to have asked “ Why do I have to suffer?” But I never blame or hated God, because even though I’m suffering he has bigger purpose for me. His Grace is sufficient for me. There’s not a day that I don’t battle alone against these demons because he’s been beside me all along. It’s human beings that left, judged, and treated me wrong. Not God. There’s too many superstitions in the religion world that they are misunderstanding those who suffers from these demons. But God never abandon, even though it’s easy to see it that way because that’s what the demons wants us to see. I praise God even though I’m battle worn. I’m fighting for my life along with my Heavenly Father.
Its ok to be angry at God. It wouldnt be healthy to deny or ignore your anger. You can't let a relationship be built without expressing to each other how you feel. Thats why you should tell God how you feel and stop with convincing yourself is Gods "will", because it isnt. Stop coping and lying to yourself and be honest. He loves you and cares for you, so want you to be honest. Cast all your fears and anger on Him. He is God, so He can take it. I when I was 12 did the same and it was the biggest mistake of my life. Am not going to see every hardship and bad feeling as something "good" or as an unicorn. You shouldnt be telling this others too. It will make them withdraw from God because of their emotions. God doesnt want that!!!!
Please be your real self and not fake. God is looking for a true Christian not someone who only sees sunshine and not the truth.
God said it Himself: these world is full of evil and innocent people lead because of it. God DOESNT want that so He send Christ. If He find it okay, He wouldnt gave a solution, a way out of darkness. But He did, He gave liberty (delivery) and still does. The answer is the cross. Of you dont want a TRUE relationship with God, ask yourself what is stopping you. Are you angry, hurt or sad? Maby all of them. I know am still angry, but am not going to ignore it, but confront God with it. Ask Him to help you and find a way out.❤ He loves you!!!!
Just like I do❤😊
God loves you▶️ ✝️
@@deniseosadolor beautifully said
As a Christian who struggles with religious obsessions and compulsions, this song hits the nail on the head. For the record, I don't blame God for my suffering. I blame the fall, and those who misuse scripture to suite their own purposes.
Regardless of what people say, Jesus loves you, died for you, and rose for you. Nothing anybody says can change that, no matter what. Nor can any (in my case) intrusive thoughts make you be forsaken. No mental illness can remove you from the palm of His hand.
In fact, the very reason Christ came was precisely BECAUSE we can't be good enough. Not then, not now. He lived the perfect blameless life so we can be saved despite our flaws.
I am a Christian, struggling with my past trauma. This is perfect. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much!!! I love you guys so much. Every song makes me cry because it is so relatable... ❤🩹
Humans suck, we can all agree that humans are amazing examples of love and goodness. Sometimes people can be amazing, but we are all still not perfect, sadly. "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," (Romans 3:23). I am sorry for your trauma and bad experiences. I pray you find healing.
Thank you! I started going to a christian school this year and it's starting to help. The only thing I have trouble with is memorizing all of the scriptures they give us each month. Thanks for the encouragement. It means a lot to me.@@jiahmiller3861
We are all loved by God. I don't know what you went through but I have come to know of the love of God. I felt quite the opposite of what I do know now though. We all have things that are broken in us but with God just know that all will be made right again in Him. Great love and respect for you. God cares and so do I even though I don't know who you are❤️🩹
@@christiansmith4740 Thank you so much! This means a lot to me... ❤🩹
You are perfect in God’s eyes. He made you who you are, stay strong brother/sister❤
When I first heard this I was blown away! Thank you for this song! It’s incredible ❤️🩹🙏🏻
Appreciate that 🫶
I’m really glad this song came out. Not because I relate to it, which I honestly don’t, but it gives me perspective into what it’s like to have religious trauma. I myself am a disciple of God, and this is what I have to say:
To anyone and everyone who has been hurt by people who claim to be “Christians” and used God’s name for harm, my heart goes out to you. I may not relate to your situation, but I sympathize greatly with your pains and I’m truly sorry that this has happened to you. I send you my hope and care, and pray that you can overcome this pain. It may not always look like it, but you and everyone else can overcome anything, and I believe in you all the way.
To add: God doesn't mind when you mess up. For people to use him as a weapon the way so many do is disgusting. God loves you. If you believe on his name you are saved from the guilt. He doesn't want you to feel ashamed!
Damn I've been waiting for this since I saw the short, you guys never miss and you always speak the truth!! Thank you for being real with your music and giving people, including myself, a safe space to feel better
Much love 🫶
When first starting my walk in the faith, truly, I was obsessed with rules and scruples to the point that I was actually losing grip on reality a little. But that's the entire point - we aren't good enough, we can't be - and that's why we need Jesus. He loves us regardless; there's literally nothing we can do to EARN Heaven. It's a shame that unconditional love gets overcomplicated in our heads like this and, even worse, when other people twist it as an excuse to hate. I just want to put it out there that I'd love to talk to anyone who has confusion or uncertainty regarding the Christian faith. You're free to reply to this comment if you want. God bless!
And as always, the song is another instant hit from Citizen Soldier!
That song...is more important than it seems like. A lot of people are struggling if they are good enough, like being selfharm or hurting theirselves. Some people say that's a sin, cause we're gods creation so we shouldn't do this, but they don't know what is inside our minds! Thank you so much for figuring this out with this banger track. Btw. LOVE the heavy screamy bridge!🔥🙏
"Cant imagine any paradise worth this pain" this hit me in my core.. Thank you all for once again putting words to a feeling i cant seem to describe on my own. Your music continues to be a light for me.
I know! That line was the one that got to me
"Am I a failure, or did you just set me up to fail?"
That hit hard
Easy answer you're the failure 🙄
Yeh, it did. Felt sort of blasphemous tho.
It hit too hard. 😭
As a Christian, this song really breaks my heart. Not because "how dare it exist" but because in a faith that's meant to be all about love and helping each other... It hurts knowing so many got it so wrong and caused trauma rather than helped with it :/
Not the song for me, obviously, but just all the love and broken heart to those who had to experience Christians who didn't understand what it meant to love like Christ, and I hope this song can bring you some comfort ❤️
Similar thing here, I just hope others can heal
The real gospel is that he doesn't care if we're not perfect. He cares that we believe, and he handles e erything else. It's really heartbreaking what some people have been through.
I agree 💯%, we are enough as long as we live through him even in hard times, especially then.
Bad things happen for a reason and to help us grow in faith we just need to make the choice to let it all go for God to handle even ivita hard and scary
I know the gospel...I know it's not about me.
...but it doesn't change how the thoughts are, what life is like, the battles against sin and just sick of failing.
I know that sanctification isn't about me...but this pain is just too much sometimes....right now it's too much... I don't want to read, I don't care enough to do anything. Work starts in a few hours and I have more compulsion to do that for the sake of not getting fired then give a darn about my heart/healing/soul...
I just want to cry, or die....
Christianity, just like every other religion ever, was not made for "spreading love" it was made to alienate and condemn those that people deem "unfit" religion divides and destroys anything it touches.
What I have learned in life is that if god is all powerful then he isn't good, and if he is good then he isn't all powerful.
“All my deepest scars are mental, from living this quietly”
“My body has become a temple, for all my anxieties”.
Many times I can't defend myself, everyone seems to want to be in control of my life, I can't bear the weight of words and whenever I think about it, I cry more and shut myself down.
I am a liar who supposedly lives without thinking about what I do to others, I have been called in many ways and I want God to give me parental love and give me comfort.
That's why I pray every night, to feel the Holy Spirit on me, I want someone to comfort me, and not have to deal with myself without having an ounce of love for myself.
I can't open up without having to cry, I lie so as not to worry anyone and now it's taking its toll on me, only God can see through my soul and know what's wrong with me
As a sister in Christ, I'll pray for you. I pray you feel God's true comfort. Keep seeking him and you WILL find him. The Lord is good!
I've been really sad here lately since my dog passed so I gotta say love you guys for the works of art you create.
Sorry for your loss 🫶 Sending hugs 🫂
Literally same situation😢this song hits hard
@@cogitoergosum8 I'm sorry for your loss
@@whyamihere777 I'm sorry for yours😔
My cat passed away recently also I hope your ok Amen😊 stay safe
"Am I a failure or did you just set me up to fail?" HIT ME RIGHT IN THE GUT!!! YES!!! That line right there...I got goosebumps. 💛
The best part about God is, you don't have to be good enough because no one is! For anyone who was told otherwise, let me tell you the truth!
Please do... 🙏
Everyone sins according to every religion I guess, but doesn’t it depend on what you do? Everyone gossips, everyone lies, but what about certain things you can physically do to people that are a million times worse than that?
@@ForMeNotAgainstMe
Ephesians 2 8-9
8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.
why is it that noone is good enough? why does it have to be like that?
@@glacia15
Everyone is born into sin whether we like it or not. The price of sin is death. That’s why as God, manifested in the flesh as Jesus, had to die for us.
For those who need to hear this. You will be okay, and your life, no matter how hopeless you feel , you are good enough, and your life worth fighting for. I'm proud of you for getting this far, I believe in you. There may be a long road ahead of you but you will make it, I know you will. Keep going champ 🏆😁❤️
“I’ve never felt more lost trying to be good enough for God.” I experienced that years and years ago before I just kinda came to a decision on religion about worshipping in my own way. I tried to worship the way I was taught and I felt more alone. I was to suffer my anxieties and depression while smiling behind a mask. Because the only answer to any pain I felt was “give it to God.” That wasn’t an answer that felt right. My pain wasn’t a “thing” I could just pass to someone else. It was a part of who I was. And that answer made me feel like *I* was wrong for having the thoughts and feelings that had been built from my experiences in life. Or my other favorite “God gives us only what we can handle.” That led me to believe some pretty twisted things about God as I watched others’ lives from the sideline. Anyway, that one line makes me just feel better about my past and how I’ve come to terms with my religious views. Thanks for the art and keep it up. Can’t wait til y’all are in NC!!
Praying for you :) I hope you've found a way to worship that brings you closer to him instead of further away ❤
This song is so much deeper than some thing.
It was never really God that was the one doing harm. It was all the other Christians who carnally point out all the imperfections of others thinking they are perfect now that they are saved.
It creates this pressure to live up to these other Christians expectations instead of remembering God's opinion is what matters.
As a former Christian who was pushed away because of the very thoughts written in this song, I'm happy that there is a song that put my thoughts into words.
36 year old me wishes 17 year old me could have heard this back then. Brought back some emotions that I wish someone else had understood then. Thank you for sharing parts of yourself with us. 🖤
We know the feeling 🫶 Sending hugs 🫂
The only reason I woke up this morning thank you guys for making such amazing music
Appreciate you 🫶
God loves you no matter what you did and how you see yourself…
I often struggle with my depression and anxiety constantly lying to to me
and making me question if I’m good enough to see Him face to face
and make it up there to my real home which is Heaven…
You will never truly be a failure in Jesus eyes.
You were meant to be loved. You were worth dying for..
our minds and demons lie to us every day but our God won’t ever lie. ❤
This song breaks my heart but speaks to me in so many ways.
Awesome job Citizen Soldier!
Thank you for this song. I used to think I wasn't good enough for God or anyone. Then I realized that I wouldn't be here, but for God. He helps me survive through each major episode, if I want help or not.
God loves you regardless of the times you mess up. He's always there for you, even that moment you sin before you even regret it. He holds you close and wishes you wouldn't feel so ashamed. He paid the price already. There's no need for this pain :)
The amount of people who dont understand that point of the song and are getting mad at citizen soldier, is just sad
As someone that’s part of a Christian family I can appreciate the religious notes in the song. And it slaps to boot! You guys just don’t miss
YES! This is the song I've been waiting for. Obviously this song isn't just for people like me, but as a christian who is still weak to the lust of the flesh and more (even though it's been a year and a half since the day I was baptized), this whole song (except for the bridge, I'd say) is a mood. I don't think I've ever been angry at God, but I do often get angry at myself even though he's always been good to me. This has become the most relatable song you've ever released as well as my all-time favourite. Well done, everyone.
Same boat here. It's good to be reminded that it's not about being "good enough". Peace to you in your journey with God ❤
I can tell you that it is extremely hard at times but the BEST thing I can recommend is to find a couple really good close friends and let them in. Ask for help when you need advice on scripture or just life in general. I’ve been in church my whole life but I’m only just now (almost 20) learning to act like someone who’s changed. I’m really happy for you getting baptized. Also, check out the song ‘You Love Me Anyway’ by Sidewalk Prophet. The bridge especially is amazing and it helped me with thoughts similar to this song.
Thank you, guys.
I'll be praying for you my friend. I wish to meet you in Heaven some day.
@@Theproblemchildofyoutube Back at you.
“I bet you're sick of watching me make all the same mistakes” That line hit hard🩵
This came at exactly the right time. I just had my first therapy session with my doctor, finally feeling strong enough to ask for help. I've grown up religious and I've asked myself multiple times if I would be good enough for Him. People say that you give yourself the anser you want to hear, but to me the answer almost always felt like no. Somehow you guys manage to convey so many thoughts and emotions that feel impossible to explain in 3 minute songs and every word makes it feel like there really are people who understand what it's like to have to fight mentally. Showing him your guys' songs because nothing else I can think of tells the story of what it's like the way your songs do. Thank you so much for everything. You're part of the reason that I found the strength to actually ask for help. You, and the community you've managed to build. No words can express how grateful I am for all of you 💜
Sadly so many people get "being a Christian" wrong. No one is ever "good enough, or worthy enough" for God. It has nothing to do with that because as humans/flesh no one ever measures up. God doesn't expect perfection because he knows "we all sin and come short of the glory of God".
All he truly wants is our heart. He wants us to live by his word, NOT man's word. Every church has their own "doctrine" meaning they pick certain things out of the bible for their own religion. God didn't create religion, man did.
All God ever ask of us is to keep his commandments. Trust, and love him. People make is much more complicated than what God asks of us.
Christianity is a cult
This is one of your greatest songs. And well It is so much how I feel... "I had my darkest thoughts trying to get to Heaven" irony. And everything, everything else!! You made pure masterpiece!!! Even I think you don't need opinon of someone like me.)
Bless you my dear brothers, you’ve helped so many misguided souls. You guys never stop being the voices people need to hear. God bless those who believe you need to earn his love, he made each and every one of you, and you are perfect in his eyes.
God bless you Citizen Soldier❤
Every song you've released over the last year has kept me from not only feeling alone but from taking that action that cannot be taken back. My children are my reason, the someone else I have to be strong for. It's not getting easier, but your music helps me keep hoping it some day can. Thank you for sharing where your mind is, and helping all of us who are trapped there as well.
Ive been waiting for months for this song to drop, after hearing the chorus on Facebook. I never felt darker or more broken that when i was trying to be the Christian everyone wanted me to be, that i was never good enough or worthy of God's love if i didnt agree with the teachings of this fairh. It wasnt until i let go of the church and titles and just focused of God and what i felt was best for my spirit. Religion made me feel angry and broken. Spirit made me feel peace.
"I can't imagine any paradise is worth this pain " that part is so true. I have so much church trauma this song really hits hard. It's beautiful thank you ❤🤘🏾
Remember Matthew 11:29-30 when Jesus says: For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. The only thing we are asked of is to trust in the Gospel of Jesus Christ and that He died on the cross for our sins and rose 3 days later. Forgiveness is given through Him and all that must be done is to confess to Him. All of the overburdening and the "you'll never be good enough" comes from the lies of the enemy who wants you to crumble and fall. Love you guys Citizen Soldier, and seeing this breaks my heart and I wish I could do more to help you see how Jesus loves and how God takes care of us.
@@THATCRZYKING you can by sharing the Gospel. Good job!!! But know that even though Jesus gives us a new yoke, it doesnt mean all the pain and trouble go away. Its always good to be honest to God about your feelings, like anger, sadness, hate, fear. Ive hated God and am still trying to figure out how I can turn it around (Reading the Bible). But know that telling only one side of the story, will maby bring them hope, but not necessarily closer to God. Telling people they have the right to feel what they feel and confront God with it, makes them more open to God and in contact. Even though Hes perfect, doesnt mean I cant be angry at Him. I dont care how good you are, Im going to be angry when you make feel sad or when I have the feeling you (God) came short (not enough). Thats what you should be telling and slowly also introducing them with the Gospel of Christ (the cross). So trust can be build, without trust there's nothing. Faith in God also means trusting Him. Also litteraly, but how can they trust Him when this society and some "Christians" are telling people to hide theie feelings😡 This is why there are more sad people, more phone-people and more suïcide rates each year!!
I dont know if you are one of them, but cut the crap with the sunshine and God "wants" us to suffer. He doesnt, so stop with coping and telling others lies. This is why people withdraw from God.
He DOESNT want us to suffer, why do you think He sacrificed Himself For nothing? Of course not. He did it, He gave a solution for A WAY OUT of suffering (the darkness). Didnt He said Hes the light, the way, the truth, the way out of dark. That should give people hope, not that demons are following them. But that someone overcame these demons and the devil so that we dont have to (we also cant). He loves you♥
Have a nice day!!! And I hope you'll see God as He truly Is and read the Bible. Im trying to know Him too, even though Hes difficult to understand
'Am I a failure or did you set me up to fail' this line can transcend just this one topic. I feel it deeply in regards to the manipulators in my life. The ones that harm in more basic ways than just religiously. Their actions often have me feeling like I failed, when I should realise quicker each time it's more how they have rigged the game.
Also, don't let anyone tell you if you are good enough for God or not. They are not God. Many will pretend to be people of God but that doesn't mean they are right or good. Don't trust just because they are or say they are people of God.
God is love and love forgives. If you are a good person or trying to be then I believe you are good enough for God.
God by grace not by deed.
Or something akin to that line has been something someone not condemning has said to me. I feel unwanted by God because the world has always made me unwanted.
I'm working to change my perspective of myself from what bad people have drilled into me. Just because they said it dasen't mean it's what God agrees with.
🤗 To all.
My grandfather is a preacher, and our family trauma hidden behind the lectures has pushed me to the edge so many times. This song hit so hard for so many reasons...but it is super healing, never stop creating these amazing songs. I guarantee you they are life changing! Love you guys and all that you do! 🩷🌷
There are no sins (or addictions) that would take God’s love away. One day at a time. Acknowledgment and progression key. Faith required. Song point on to a societal misconception. I am not worthy yet God is there embracing me and inspiring to be the best version of myself. Be strong. Do not listen to others. You will make it. Much love to all.👍🏼
As a gay pastor's kid this song hits me sooooo hard. I spent over a decade fighting the repression, denial, and fear. I spent so long doing everything I could to "fix" myself, but ultimately I wasn't broken and it has been really hard accepting who I am and coming to terms with that.
God doesn't make broken people. We all have our own struggles and some of them are overwhelming. Each of us faces temptation of a different kind, but that doesn't mean anyone has the right to shame someone else for being tempted by something different. Regardless - I have mountains of respect for gay Christians. You have sacrificed more for Christ than I ever have, possibly more than I ever will. Mad respect. I hope you find peace in the Lord ❤❤
"Some days I let myself get angry cause I tried my best; then overthink it, hit the gaslight, and start to second guess."
Wow. The amount of times in my life where I've "repented" to or "re"accecpted Him into myself, because I wonder if it "still counts" because I haven't been this "perfect" Christian... I've stopped going to the church (for reasons), but I live my life day to day trying to be a good person without dragging along the hate; a way that I would hope God would approve of. But I still always wonder if it's good enough cause I'm not running around evangelizing to everyone I know... Love this song because it perfectly encapsulates those feelings.
Im a Christian and i approve this song, much love citizen soldier
I am constantly told that going to back to church where I feel like an outsider and praying will help with my anxiety and depression. The one who tells me apparently can't understand that when you have always been abandoned, replaced, and ignored, it makes you feel like not even a supposedly all powerful god will care. Especially when you pray and nothing changes so it's always in his time. At least I'm learning that I only have to be good enough for me, not matter how much I may fail.
I remember my grandma always saying "God doesnt give you anything you cant handle" when I was a child.
As an adult I can say she was half wrong but mostly misunderstanding. God treats our trials like weight training. He increases the weight through our lives to make us stronger. He just has to start some of us early since he knows we need to be strong enough to fireman carry someone else through their pains.
So, God thought it was okay to have me suffer a miscarriage. Because he was testing my strength? Thank you for reminding me why I hate the church and the "Christians" in it.
So, God thought it was okay to have me suffer a miscarriage. Because he was testing my strength? Thank you for reminding me why I hate the church and the "Christians" in it.
“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.”
Revelations 21:4
I’m good enough for God ♥️ & so are yiu
Breaks my heart that "church" makes people feel this way, because it is literally the opposite. God wants you to come to him exactly how we are........broken. if we weren't, there would have been no need for him to send his son to die for people who curse him, spit in his face and hate him. He wants you just to let him love you. Trying to be perfect for God is like cleaning up to take a bath.
But... if he did exist, he hates lgbtq people, which means he also hates me. Also, i guess i am going to hell nust for not believing in a god?
@@Drag0nmaster no, he doesn't hate you. He loves you just as much as anyone. When christ was on Earth he ate with and hung out with prostitutes and "tax collectors" basically the lowest of the low, not that that's what you are, but the point is.he loves you just how you are. I understand your reply very well. I respect your pov, but I would love to help you understand that he is literally waiting for you with arms wide open waiting to embrace you exactly as you are. Yes, the Bible calls lgbtq lifestyles as sin, but we all have sin. I don't agree with any kinda of aversion therapy or anything else. It's been my personal experience with some very dark places that if you sincerely believe that Jesus is the son of God and that he died and ressurected......that's it. You don't have to say some long pious prayer or fall down bawling.....that the Holy Spirit will slowly change you on the inside, and sometimes instantly, but usually as you seek him in the Bible or church or internet you will grow spiritually. But whatever and however you feel or believe, I hope for you a happy joy filled life. Our beliefs don't mean we have to be adversaries or hate each other. All my best to you for a blessed life my friend.
I just adore you guys. ALL your songs sing to my soul.
I lost my father last year to cancer. His final words to me were a prayer that I could barely understand. The moment he left so did my sanity. My rational, science focused mind just shattered. I fell to my knees and could not breathe. As anxiety took over me I used all my strength to muster a prayer. Not long after I got short of air and blacked out. Fell to face first for aroundaminuteor two. After I woke I rose to my feet a different man, a new man. Now every day I work to try to find the path that my father was guided by. I try my very best to earn my ticket to see him again. I try my best to shut out all the thoughts and doubts I used to have about religions. With all my heart I believe my father and our God saved me that day and I will NOT take that gift for granted.
Forever a proud Junior.
You don't have to earn anything. If God has saved you - which I believe along with you that he has - then you have nothing left to prove. You will see your father again, I am sure of it. And I'll see you there!
~~ a sister in Christ :)
@@tiffanysmith490 I appreciate those words so much.
@@Gr8RAY1 I'm glad I was able to bless you :) know that God doesn't care if you mess up - he cares that you know you're loved ❤️
" I just can't imagine any paradise that's worth this pain " 😲 I can relate
I've struggled with religious-based obsessive compulsive disorder as long as I can remember. I was diagnosed at 17, thank God, but knowing what it is doesn't make it stop. I've never heard anyone describe my experience so exactly before.
I grew up in a religious family, and the pressure and judgment from everyone in that community is so bad it caused trauma that is really hard to live with.
This song was awesome and I'm loving it. I'll definitely be listening on repeat for a while ❤
We know the feeling 🫶 Thanks for sharing
If you’re judged by Christians, you are literally the problem because you are willfully doing things that go against God. You didn’t experience trauma, you’re just insecure and weak.
I continue to be astounded how you capture SO MUCH in each song. Listening today has helped when nothing else worked 🙏
This song hit me SOO HARD and it's the one I've been looking forward to so much this album!
Hope it helps 🫶
Non-christian here but love to read all forms of religious text. I noticed tons of people here suffer religious trauma and as a nobody with an ego i wanna say that.
You have been, is, and always worthy of God's love. Your sins and bad habits do not define you. Seek His guidance for you to love yourself. Many people use religious text to punish us for our sins. But wasnt Mary Magdalene sinful as well? Didnt Peter deny Christ but was still forgiven.
Love yourself through your sins and bad habits. Find your own way to share the joy and love He wishes to see in the world. Love His Children, your friends, and your family in a way you know how and I trust you will feel God's love.
Oh and ps great song Citizen Soldier hahaha
Jake's voice is so WOW!!! It send chills through my whole body! The lyrics and the melody are doing an awesome job by pushing the emotions of the singing just right into your soul! This whole song is awesome!
This song is about religious trauma, but you can use everything and everyone as a substitut imo. A lot of people can understand the raw feeling behind those lyrics and I'm sure this will help them feeling seen and understood!
The way it echos "Father this is",.... (the way ive stuttered, the way ive been stigmatized and judged and ( the way even in my prayers, i ... Cant speak sometimes and its not that i dont want to pray.... its not what Gods done, but what's been done in the name of....
i...
Feel so grateful for you all. Thanks for becoming everything you've ever become to make it this far and using your experience to help others. I don't know if i can get out of my grief, i don't know if I'll be able to overcome things from my past. They play nightly, secondly, hourly, day by day.... and yet even after all the times, I've resembled lyrics from each song I've ever met... (listened to), even with every (;) i wanted to avoid, i want to hear more..... if that and what the clouds look like or the memories that are precious to me that don't hurt so much are the only thing... ✨️ thats 💯 👌.
Damn this hits hard Citizen Soldier has been so helpful recently with me having low mental health, I started listening to them last year and they have helped me release anger just listening to these songs
Jesus loves you no matter what you do or what you've done, everyone who has suffered religious trauma I'm so sorry, but you're always good enough to come to him. I struggled with terrible depression for 7 years until I realized this and in that exact moment he healed me. The love is unconditional. We're all sinners alike but that's okay. God bless❤
Amazing as always guys😭❤️ love your music so much!
Much love 🫶
I just started basically screaming the lyrics to this song. For a good amount of my teen life I tried,I tried my hardest to believe in god. When I was homeless,when I was trying to give my drunken father a chance at my life and him clearly never caring enough to even show up again. When my grandfather passed away from cancer and we had no money to support the house me and my mom lived in so I prayed for an answer but I had to drop out of high school to try and support my mom. I couldn't even grieve my wonderful grandfather cause I had to work or we ended up homeless and yet it still wasn't enough,we ended up living in our car yet again but I still tried praying. Years and years until finally I snapped and stopped believing. I had great moments in my life and sure even now I am living better then I have before but I do not believe its cause I waited for a miracle,I believe its cause I finally took my life in my own hands and started fixing things. I wanted so bad to be good enough for god but at this point in my life,I can't ever see how all that pain,all the mental struggles I ended up carrying and still do to this day,would ever be worth stepping through heavens gates if they are real. Thank you citzen soldier for this song. Thank you for just everything.
Amazing song, the lyrics always hit so hard
Hope it helps 🫶
It took years, DECADES for me to be where I am currently. I AM proud of myself, even if no one else seems to be. I am NOT a failure, no one is, we're all trying out best in this world. Whether you believe in God, are religious in some way, or neither, everyone is good enough, because you are alive and doing the best in whatever situation you are currently in. I might be a random stranger, but I am proud of you and I love you. You are worthy. You are good enough.
"I've never felt so lost trying to be good enough for God" hit so hard
This song is the embodiment of my thoughts ever since my father's death back in 2016..."I just can't imagine any paradise that's worth this pain" is exactly how I felt and thought when i had to pull the plug on my father's life support
You guys pour all emotions into your songs, and it shows, keep up the good work.
i love it as a born again christian i wanna point a few things 1. noones ever good enough and works wont help we are saved by believing jesus died and rose for us and by having faith then from that second we are saved by his grace.2 don't fall for the catholic ways trust me they aint showing the true gospel. 3.god never sets us up to fail he loves us all. and 4. i love the tracks you bring man its amazing to hear this stuff
Catholics aren’t showing the true gospel? First of all, we complied the gospels and we read them every day. What exactly do you mean?
@@Lucy-nw4im home you guys worship Mary more than Jesus I have proof Catholics post pictures and the supposed vicar of christ allows lgbtq and Muslim to be blessed with him simply put Catholics are insane and need help simple as that
i like how this song questions god but doesn't diss him like a lot of metal songs do. Awesome job guys! This one hit hard.
😢 That's the whole point, folks. Humanity set itself up to fail. God gave every good gift you see before you, and we mucked it up. He doesn't hate you; He hates what separates you from Him. The Old Testament laws were given to show you that you *can't* hold up to His standards, and that's why He sent someone to hold up to them *for* us. Your task isn't to earn forgiveness, but to stop trying to pay the penalties yourself and accept the gift of them being paid for you.
💯
This sounds exactly what its like suffering with religious trauma. Constantly gaslighting yourself and feeling ashamed of just being a human. This is exactly what religion does to people. This is also what I was thinking when I was a christian. The chorus is what I see now reflecting on the way I was as well as the line "am I a failure or did you just set me up to fail". Thats the trap set by most christian denominations, you're supposed to fail.
I am a non-theistic(or atheist) Satanist now and honestly I'm so much happier that I don't self gaslight anymore(at least for religious purposes). I know some of you might be religious but it still aplies to you as well. Great song to meditate on for recovery IMO.
I wasn't even sent a notification, HOW DARE YOU, TH-cam!
P.S: Y'all have been doing such a great job with songs lately, It's so great to see how the band evolves over the years. Much love!
Having struggled with religious scrupulosity throughout my life, this song is a God send. Thank you.
Hang in there :) the balance can be hard, but it is worth it! Don't beat yourself up too much if you can help it. God doesn't, so why should you? God doesn't want you to be ashamed.
This is one of the few songs that adequately describe my religious trauma. I've been waiting a while for this one and it was well worth the wait. My favourite line is "am I a failure or did you just set me up to fail". Very powerful.
Going to church isn’t trauma. Bozo.
As a Christian, I am deeply sorry to see all these comments about religious trauma and hypocrite "church people" or parents putting young and fragile kids under so much trauma, fear and judgment. I just want you to know that Christianity is not what they have portrait to be: God is about patience, kindness, absence of judgement and complete and utter love and understanding, you didn't deserve to be put through all of that, and I want you to know that God loves you for who you are, and you are indeed good enough for Him, He's in love with you, He had you in His mind and heart before your parents, and the people from family and in the church who did those horrible things to you, they're not from God not are doing His will, they Projected their pain and frustration onto you. I love you all tremendously
This is the one I've been waiting for. As an ex catholic, it hits so close to home. The trauma of being told that everything about me was wrong, that I was going to hell for being who I was, being threatened by the same people who claimed to only preach love. They were some of the biggest hypocrites I'd ever met, and learning to rebuild myself and reframe my thoughts in adulthood was so much harder than I thought it would be. Thank you for this song, it makes me realize that I wasn't as alone as I thought I was during those dark times 💙
Thanks for sharing that 🫶 It helps to hear the stories 🫂
Jesus loves you🙏, keep pushing for his name and you will have eternal life with him✝️🙏
you're never alone. there are so many of us who have felt the exact same way. who have wondered day after day why something that supposedly preaches love seems so intent on tearing us down and telling us that who we are is a mistake, a sin. but it's not. you're perfect as you are. and you can find faith (or not) on your own terms
@@dylannijhof5115Dude stop giving people that were traumatized by exactly that religion even more push towards it. What did the poor guy to you to deserve that?
@@saintbenny8287 je didnt do anything to me, i am just trying my best to comfort them. I never grew up in church and never whent to one either. i cant imagine how this trauma must feel. I am not a christian but a follower of Christ, and I am just trying to spread love from the one who saved me from doing anything to myself. Most assuredly i can say to you the people that said this to you will most likely not going to heaven cuase of there corrupt speaking, but that is not my job to judge. Sorry if you picked this up wrongly, i am trying my best to comfort people the way he comforted me
Yeah, I knew this one would hit me hard. Growing up in a religious family can indeed mess someone up. I realized that this message of "love" was really not love most of the time, and include manipulation, coercion, guilt and shaming so that I could "go to heaven". All my problems weren't because of religious trauma but that just solidified all else when you are being told constantly that you are a sinner and someone so bad simply for just being born. It sucks. I'm trying to heal from that, and from all the other stuff, but it's so hard once the trauma is deep inside. You end up feeling like a broken thing that will never be fixed. Thank you for making this song, you guys never miss! 🖤
You're not broken and never will be ❤❤ God loves you just the way you are! I hope you find peace and healing :)
I'm so happy that I was able to listen to this today, I'm upset that I'm sick though and probably won't remember listening to this amazing song.
"I can't imagine a paradise that is worth all this pain." Hits home. Somehow, Citizen Soldier just gets it. they know to how put exactly what i'm feeling into words and music. thank you guys
As someone with a lifetime of religious trauma, this hits hard, I've been waiting for this one for ages
Going to church isn’t trauma. You’re just weak minded.
Being abused is trauma, being tortured by fire and knives is trauma, being told you deserve to die and were born of a demon while some guy chants over you and burns you and cuts you is trauma
@@themisfitbrigade
Please dont think everyone is like themisfitbrigade, OP, please - as another Christian and, yes, as one without religious trauma, let me say I feel deeply sorry that you've had to deal with religious trauma. Trauma of any sort isn't to be taken lightly, and religious trauma is especially heartbreaking. Especially when people don't take it seriously. Please know that you are loved - truly loved. Accepted.
I am a Good Christian woman and thought thee Greatest wife, but my husband left me after 45yrs together 1979-2024 for a 30yr old girl!!! I Have been Threw Hell and Back, feeling like a Failure, UGLY. And Not Good Enough for anyone, But CITIZEN SOILDER, is The Greatest Therapy, NOW I'm divorced and Just got diagnosed with lymphoma Cancer in my neck wrapped around my aorta 😢😢😢😢😢😢, I Only Wished That KARMA Would Get my X, but instead I have to pay with my life!!!!😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢, Thank You So Much CITIZEN SOILDER FOR THE Greatest And most Helpful Songs FOR Everyone!!!!!!! Hopefully God Had a Music Room so I can still enjoy your Music!!!!! FOREVER FAN, LAURA ANN, MY FINAL FARWELL 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🫂🫂🫂🫂😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇😇, Wish you Had A Song To Cure MY Cancer 😢😢😢😢😢🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Hey, early again to your new song. Just know you have come so far. I've been here since day 1 i think i sead it in the last comment but proud to say it, but you have helped so many lost souls with your music you have so much power in your voice its stunning ❤
Father, God is with you through the good time and bad times
This hits different now that i feel more depressed after the trauma i've experienced of losing a loved one.
This song really hits hard for me. I started crying the first time I listened to it cause all the stuff I was taught growing up came back to me. "You have to do this to go to heaven. You have to accept Christ into your heart to go to heaven." "If you are a Christian, you're saved and you won't go to hell" Yeah, you taught me that until I came out to you and then you told me I wasn't a true Christian and that I was going to hell anyway. So, I gave up and stopped believing. If I can't ever be good enough for God then what's the point in even believing in him let alone the teaching that he "has a place for me in his kingdom'. If I won't be accepted into his kingdom the way I am, then I honestly don't want to go. I don't particularly want to be part of a religion that says they're based around love yet spread so much hate it makes people feel worthless and almost drives them to suicide. That doesn't sound very loving to me.
Romans 8:18 "What we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal”
Stay strong my friends and keep your faith in God the father almighty 🙏
Now I just have to make myself believe that.
Amen. I like this bands music but I'm not too fond of this song.
Another lyric video, another visual and sound masterpiexe
Woohoo another amazing song
Thanks 🫶
For people who say God doesn't love us because we were sent down to earth to suffer are wrong. We have sinned against God for eating from the tree of good and evil. God has a bigger plan for us in the future, whether you believe it or not. He will always be here for you. He has made a new heaven and new earth for us fro when we die or when God gives his judgment on this earth.
Remember, God loves you, no matter what❤❤❤
We're all more than good enough for God
🫶
I just discovered u guys on “reason to live” and at the time i was just like “its good” but now i listen to that along w others like “pretend my pain away” and “hate myself” etc. the songs r some of the biggest things that have kept me going. Im not over my depression yet, still at its peak, but im trying, and ur songs r helping. Ik u prob wont even see this, but thank u for all u guys do, cant wait to see wut the future has for u guys!
I knew that I'd have this on repeat. Absolutely love it
As soon as this is uploaded to SoundCloud, this is gonna be on repeat. I've always struggled with speaking my feelings, so I use songs since they do it better.
This has described everything I've been through with an overly strict and religious father. It got to the point where I've constantly felt forsaken by God, to the point where I was planning on leaving my religion and going solo. I've since changed my mind, but it's still hard trying to heal from all this silent suffering.
Thank you Citizen Soldier, for screaming my pain for me in words that I can scream back with all my heart.
I love musicians whose music aims for the mentally ill among us, and you guys have hit that.
Thank you, for screaming the pain for so many of us who are still suffering in silence. Thank you.
I have not felt good enough for my dad to love me or worth loving
I feel this... but recently I haven't been. If he doesn't love you that's his loss. You are worthy of so much more and he will just be a stepping stone to your greatness
We hear you 🫶 Sending hugs 🫂
@@ambrissakaminari6926 I know he truly loves me but my inability to accept that people can makes me doubt that I’m worthy of being loved
I feel every word of this song being by yourself is sometimes the best thing and being too real. will put u by yourself , and at least I have Princibles. I live my life by . real people will never have anyone by their side. The fake will have everyone by there's