Thanks for sharing! Another way people can get involved with teens in foster care is to become an independent living home. Teens who are working towards independence as they age out of foster care can be placed in Independent Living (often age 16-21 depending on the program). They still have a case worker and receive a stipend with which they rent a room in your home, while you help them develop skills for independence (budgeting, opening a bank account, cooking, laundry, grocery shopping, applying for jobs/college, etc).
I wish I knew this was a thing sooner my mom kicked me out at 14 to live with my grandma and she hasn’t even takin me to a job interview I’m still struggling I’m now 19 and have worked a total of 4 months in my life I struggle with addiction and moving into the next chapters of my life due to no guidance it felt like survival of the fittest then I read this
@@Ladie_AP I think it depends on the program and the independence of the youth. Some youth are able to live in their own apartment with support, but I think it depends on the program and if they have shown that they are ready for that.
Are you former foster youth also?! If so, I wish I could hug you through this computer screen! You're absolutely right. Teens get a bad rap. It's not right and it turns a lot of people away that are probably more equipped to foster teens than they realize.
I think its because people are barely able to handle their own trauma. They don't trust themselves to be able to help others that have likely gone through worse as well as how it manifests with puberty. Unfortunately, many shift that insecurity away from themselves and say that it's an impossible task either way.
Part of it is probably from parents who raised their own children already. I love my boys and was a single dad with custody for most of their lives. But let me tell you something - people like my oldest at about the age of 14 are the reason exorcisms were invented. He’s 28 now and he’s amazing. But holy crap the two of them were something else as teenagers. Obviously they are not you. Everyone is an individual. But I for one am permanently emotionally scarred from my boys going through puberty. Not to say I would never foster a teen. But there would be a certain level of anxiety because it’s a rough time in life for a lot of people.
We are about to take in a 12 year old as our first foster placement! Thank you for alleviating some anxiety. We have always kept it in our minds that we would be OK with taking in a teen without too many "behaviors". (Mainly cause we don't have any bios and this is our first time!) Our family was super anxious about taking in a teen because of the stigma that "they're going to be so much trouble and they are difficult." That may be true, but at least you can talk through some of their issues and work with them. You can't talk to an upset toddler or young child really, so older kids and teens have that advantage!
Glad you are willing to take older kids. I know it can be stressful cuz it's so hard to know what to expect. Definitely make sure you have a support system and people you can talk to. Therapy has been super helpful for my older kiddos (all of them really).
I fostered a teen boy over 20 years ago. I was robbed four times. Twice found him and several of his friends stoned out of their minds on my patio, nearly had my car impounded, he turned the back of my apt into a marijuana garden, drank on the sly…lots, and topped it off with three suicide attempts, two that I was witness to. It exhausted me and once free I never even wanted my own kids after that. Too stressful. He tracked me down years later and thanked me for putting up with it all. I never thought I would want anything more to do with that again…until about a a week ago a fosters video just grabbed my heart…and now I’m in the very early stages of trying to adopt a teen boy…waiting to hear if the kid wants to meet and talk to size me up as a prospective dad. I cannot explain it but he is the only kid in all my life I have ever wanted to be my son.
This is such a cool story. Thank you so much for sharing. I've said that about a few of my kids who I eventually adopted...I KNEW they were my sons. My biological brother gave our foster parents the hardest time as a teen. He was ROUGH. He's now in his 40s and I know he appreciates them ❤️.
@@laurenfosters8487 Thank you. I have no idea if I can pass all the hoops in the system, nor do I know if the boy himself is interested. I do know when I saw his video and started grousing to God about why no one in a year has so much as wished him well or expressed interest in him, it was like this little voice started speaking…why must it be someone else, why can’t you want him? Why can’t you be his dad? From that moment I could not look at his video and not think…my son. Very strange and unexpected. I went from feeling sorry for him to loving him and wanting to be his dad between heartbeats. So unlike anything I can recall quite like that. It’s in God’s hands now. May it be as He wills.
Please don't foster anybody at all. You clearly have no compassion for foster youth, you just want your heart to fill all good and full while you incur no inconvenience. How dare you even make a young mans suicide attempts and struggles with drugs and alcohol all about you and then think you're fit to foster anyone. Be ashamed.
@@LillithPlaysSims You are doubtless correct. I was not up to the challenge of being a single foster dad. And I was certainly not prepared for the depth of need that young man required. In my defense I will only say that I told the foster agency that I could handle mild emotion issues, and I was paired with a kid with profound anger and trauma…horrific stuff this kid went through, heart wrenching…but I was not remotely equipped to be the foster parent this boy needed…and I am sorry for that, for he needed someone far better than me.
I'm 25 and my husband is 26 and we are fostering a 15 year old. It has it's hard moments but she is a great kid and it's been great seeing her grow so much in the short amount of time we've had her. When we worked in group homes for foster kids, all the teens we met were great and all deserve to be in a good loving home. I wish I could foster/adopt all of them.
Thank you so much for making my decision to start the process of fostering teens feel right. I raised five biological children, 1 girl and 4 boys, the youngest is 20. I feel like people’s reaction to me wanting to foster teens makes me question whether it’s a good idea. You video gives me confidence that it is and I’m all in
You have to do what's best for you and your family regardless of what others think. We got so much push back from friends when we were about to take in #s 7&8. They were a tougher case and had been in 6 foster homes making us their 7th. Lots of issues with their case and the boys themselves were just hard in general. I *knew* they were our son's the second I met them (foster home #6 was a friend of ours so I knew them way before they would ever need another home). Listen to your gut and trust yourself ❤️
I just stumbled across your channel and I’m really glad I did. I have wanted to be a foster care mom since I was a teen and always figured I’d focus on teens since they have the highest need. Most of the other channels I’ve seen focus on young children, so I appreciate your candor with a lot of this. Thank you!
I just aged out of foster care and I was told “no one wants you guys because they would just rather have fixable life. Teens are like a puzzle with a bunch of missing pieces” and that was my foster mom 💀
LOVE THIS!!!! Just stumbled upon your video and absolutely love your energy!! My hubby and I are TEEN ONLY foster parents and have had our Foster Son for 4 months. We were definitely the purple unicorn in our area requesting only teens between14 and18 years old, but like you said, know what your strengths are and capitalize on that. Keep the positivity flowing! I can't wait to watch more of your videos!
Hello, I'm a 13 year old girl who's getting hit and abused by her parents. I am mentally going through a lot.I just want to get adopted and end all of this.Please let me know if i can get any kind of help.
I told my Mom that I want to foster teenagers in the future (I'm 14 and all I'm certain about my life is that I'm not straight and that I wanna foster cats and kids) and she keeps telling me they'll murder me in my sleep. Like lady if they do that I probably deserved it
That's so awesome! I knew when I was a young teen that I wanted to adopt some day also and I stuck to it. I didn't know exactly what avenue I would take or what that would look like for me as an adult I just knew it was going to happen ❤️ Don't get me wrong mental health is a huge deal in the foster care community but there's also a lot of resources out there. 4/10 have my kids go to therapy and soon to be one more.
You're right, abusive parents are at a higher risk of being killed for sure. The stories I hear about where non-abusive parents are afraid of their kids seem to be slower developing, with enough time for intervention.
So happy you did this video! Homestudy ✅ We are officially certified! Our age group is 12-17 and male preference. We are definitely open to siblings and if there is a sister we are open! I love teens! The crazy thing is people are afraid of teens, however don’t all babies eventually become teens? Lol 😂 I hope this becomes a series! Teens need so much support!
I grew up in a house full of girls and currently work with women. It is the balance I need and we know young men deserve to have positive male role models so they can learn life skills. I am definitely a boy mom. I love to cook to cook and they love to eat win, win. ❤️💕
Our range right now is 0-12 years. The more experience we have we will continue to to increase the age we take in. Hoping to have 0-17 age range some day ❤
Hello, I'm a 13 year old girl who's getting hit and abused by her parents. I am mentally going through a lot.I just want to get adopted and end all of this.Please let me know if i can get any kind of help.
I LOVED my teens when I worked at a group home for teen girls, but I am single and youngish 31, so I’m just afraid to have teens on my own. Like at the group home my “role” was more bonding with the kids, teaching them, talking to them, bringing them to appointments, having fun with them , but I was never really the one that made the rules or did a lot of the discipline, so I’m scared on that aspect, plus the big behaviors like cutting, running away, sexual stuff, fighting, etc. I just don’t feel comfortable as a single person. I think once I get older and whatever kids i have progress to teen and I have more experience I will take teens. But In my life right now I just don’t feel called/equipped to foster teens yet.
I am rewatching some of your vids because we were licensed to foster teen boys (we have bio teen boys) and now have a sibling set with a brother and sister. Nobody wanted to separate these two. I love teens. I find toddlers terrifying 😂
My fiance and I are many years away from kids but we have talked about adopting/fostering Teens. That way we can offer them a place to build independence and have good support system. Thank for sharing it has made me personally more confident for the future. Thank for sharing.
I’m afraid of teenagers because I was one 10 years ago, I was among them and sadly bullied by many, I wasn’t a saint I was so hormonal and emotionally abused. No I wasn’t in foster care but it’s hard enough to deal with your own biological children imagine trying to do that with other children? And not knowing how to handle it and get through them? Teenage boys can be so disturbed and aggressive I’m tiny and I don’t know but my heart still hurts for them but it’s not for the faint of heart.
By the time you are a pre-teen, people look at you as a pre-meditated personality. You are a “liar,” a “bad egg.” A “troubled youth.” When you are a little kid; they view your behaviors and personality as “cute” or “not your fault.” By the time you are a pre-teen, they attribute your behavior to a chosen life as a “bad” person. They start looking at you as a potential peer, instead of a kid who has not had their essential emotional, physical, and mental needs met. Instead of a kid who has not known safety in a home.
"to keep things safe" is more about the kids themselves. Being a lesbian shouldn't interfere with you becoming a foster parent to whatever genders you decide to take into your home (if you're a particular area even allows you to specify). When it comes to teenagers oftentimes people will only take one gender or the other to keep them safe from each other. Sometimes we assume that they view each other as siblings and that's not always the case in foster homes especially with the teen/tween age group. I'm working on a video right now about fostering sibling sets that explains it a bit as well. For example I was the only teen girl in an all-boy teen foster home growing up and they had to take a lot of precautions to make sure hormones didn't interfere with any of the placements in the home. You can't have foster kids living in home together that are romantically involved so parents have to make sure that lines aren't crossed.
@@laurenfosters8487 I think she more so meant that is a very heterosexual way of viewing things. Because it is possible to foster all boys and two of the boys be gay.
We are working towards becoming foster parents specifically for teens and tweens only. I have 3 bio kids and a permanent kinship placement. All girls and the 3 bio kids are grown and out of the house. I feel I connect better with older kids. I want boys lol cause I never got any but we aren't planning on restricting it to just boys. We are open to younger kids if they are part of a sibling group. I want a full house again but I dont want the sleepless nights of a baby, or the heavy lifting and high energy of a toddler again. My husband was in the foster system briefly as a teen and we just understand theres a need and feel capable of helping with that. Only hold up right now is the house. We just bought a fixer upper and it needs some necessary repairs before it will be ready to handle more people using it daily.
I'm a 13 year old girl who's getting hit and abused by her parents. I am mentally going through a lot.I just want to get adopted and end all of this.Please let me know if i can get any kind of help.
@@dhbuddy4064 I'm so sorry sweety. I dont know how I can help but you should tell someone, a teacher, police or call your local child protection agency. Sending my love 💕 I hope you are safe
Although it was my husband and I first time we fostered a teen they begged us and begged us and he became abusive to the other kids and his mentality was not of a 16 year old but of a 6 year old. Allegations began to arise and we backed out and said never again.
I’m so glad I came across your channel. I just finished my classes and I informed them that I would foster ages 10-16. I feel like tens need a lot of focus and to prepare them for independent living. Thank you so much
I'd be afraid to foster a teen because their problems in life start to get really severe and harder to handle. I don't feel like I have enough experience to deal with stuff like drug use, pregnancy, and other craziness!
Totally understandable. It's super important to do your research and see if it's for you. With that said, drug exposure and trauma is a beast even with little kids. Not all teens struggle with drugs and pregnancy but, theoretically, the case worker should disclose any of that info ahead of time before placement (if the child is pregnant or has a history of drug addiction). There are some really get kids out there floating through foster care :)
I'm a 13 year old girl who's getting hit and abused by her parents. I am mentally going through a lot.I just want to get adopted and end all of this.Please let me know if i can get any kind of help.
@@dhbuddy4064 Please report this to a school counselor, teacher or even a doctor. They are all mandatory reporters and will be able to report the issue for you. If you are in immediate danger, you can always call the police as well. Please look for help and stay safe!
I've planned on adopting siblings since I was in high school. My dad was adopted and it's just always been something I felt drawn to. Fast forward --my husband and I have 8 combined, with only 2 left at home. We haven't started any licensing yet, and need to add on to the house (not the house we had all the kids in!) I'm all in but hubby goes back n forth 😭
I promise it's not as scary as it sounds but I also don't want to give you a false sense of "easy" either. From my experience being former foster youth and living in an all teen home as well as my experience fostering teens most of the kids I've come across have been pretty good kids. With that said I definitely know if you foster parents that have really struggled fostering teens and some of the complications that can come with that (when you add in lifelong trauma and hormones). All that said I wouldn't trade my newly adopted 13 and 15-year-old for the world.
I'm a 13 year old girl who's getting hit and abused by her parents. I am mentally going through a lot.I just want to get adopted and end all of this.Please let me know if i can get any kind of help.
What advice do you have for helping biological children adjust to new, foster/adopted siblings? This is my biggest concern and I need some support/guidance in this area. Please and thanks!!!
That's a really great question and a great idea for a video in the future too. We kind of always went into it with the openness of how temporary things could be and how quickly things could change at any time. When we first started fostering our kids had already been military kids for a while and were used to a lot of change happening at a moment's notice. Believe it or not that actually helped a bit. I think it's okay to mourn the loss when children that come and go. I think it teaches healthy emotions just to go ahead and cry it out together, "it's okay buddy. I know this is all super hard. I'm having a hard time too!" I thought I would see my kids struggle a bit with having to share mom and dad and I found that they were actually mostly fine with it. The only time they really struggled was when they just maybe didn't gel with a placement. There was one point where we had a little boy around the same age as my oldest son and they just didn't get along. That was a temporary placement so it kind of worked out but that would have been a very hard long-term placement for him. Really the short answer is just a lot of open communication. We were very transparent about what the process is like and how things could change at any time.
We want to foster teens so badly but we are knee deep in bio littles and just don't know what it would be like. Is it a terrible idea to bring teenagers into a VERY loud, chaotic, lively home full of little kids? Would they go crazy and hate it??
That's a tough one. There's definitely no guarantees. I'd ask a TON of questions, especially if they have been in other homes. Maybe ask if the other foster parent is willing to talk to you too. I will say though that I've had a couple of foster parents try to talk me out of taking placements that were hard for them and I'm so glad I didn't listen. Some of my kids have needed a LOT of therapy but they thrive now because of it. Usually, there's a honeymoon period when a child moves in and then the poo hits the fan. that's when foster parents usually throw in the towel but remembering that trauma does horrible things to the brain (and the kid's need help overcoming that) and that things will get worse before they get better is important. Therapy is super key for really hard kids.
Can you please give me some advice on how to help my foster teen stop acting like their little siblings primary caregiver and start acting like a child?
That's so awesome! I found it super helpful to find support groups and meet other Foster parents in your same situation because even the most well meaning friend and relative outside of this whole world of foster care and adoption has a hard time understanding why we do what we do.
💞 I'm fixing my house to get ready to foster 8-16 years old .. I'm trying to talk my husband into taking in up to 18 but he hasn't changed his mind yet.
I hear ya. People mean really well but then come of as discouraging. It's hard because it CAN be really hard on some families. I'm sure my foster mom could tell a few crazy stories herself but I know she absolutely wouldn't have traded it for the world and we wouldn't either.
I'm a 13 year old girl who's getting hit and abused by her parents. I am mentally going through a lot.I just want to get adopted and end all of this.Please let me know if i can get any kind of help.
@@dhbuddy4064 I'm so sorry to hear that 😞. My heart breaks for you. If you have a safe adult to report this to (teacher, councilor etc) then please do. You are able to call CPS yourself but please make sure you are safe enough to do that without causing further harm. Please keep me posted.
That's totally understandable and I would definitely suggest that if you are considering fostering you start with an age group you feel comfortable with.
Thank you and, yes! Definitely cover any availability you have with your job with your agency but that's kind of the cool thing about shopping for agencies is some are more willing to work with busy families and others so just kind of ask around.
As I go I'm learning how to equalize the audio a bit more so check out my newest video and see if it still sounds like I'm shouting lol. I *think* I fixed it (although good mic or not I'm pretty a loud girl in real life too 😂)
Sorry! I will need to do a new one of these soon but back when this was filmed, I was both using different editing equipment and also had no idea how to change the sound quality.
Sorry! I will need to do a new one of these soon but back when this was filmed, I was both using different editing equipment and also had no idea how to change the sound quality.
Sorry! I will need to do a new one of these soon but back when this was filmed, I was both using different editing equipment and also had no idea how to change the sound quality.
Thanks for sharing! Another way people can get involved with teens in foster care is to become an independent living home. Teens who are working towards independence as they age out of foster care can be placed in Independent Living (often age 16-21 depending on the program). They still have a case worker and receive a stipend with which they rent a room in your home, while you help them develop skills for independence (budgeting, opening a bank account, cooking, laundry, grocery shopping, applying for jobs/college, etc).
That's great advice! Thank you so much for sharing ❤️
Omg this is amazing. I did not know this was an option. I will have to look this up.
I wish I knew this was a thing sooner my mom kicked me out at 14 to live with my grandma and she hasn’t even takin me to a job interview I’m still struggling I’m now 19 and have worked a total of 4 months in my life I struggle with addiction and moving into the next chapters of my life due to no guidance it felt like survival of the fittest then I read this
Thanks for sharing this information. Is an adult required to live in the independent living home?
@@Ladie_AP I think it depends on the program and the independence of the youth. Some youth are able to live in their own apartment with support, but I think it depends on the program and if they have shown that they are ready for that.
Why do people hate teens? All that happened was I turned a day older and I'm treated like I'm plotting the apocalypse. Just why?!
Are you former foster youth also?! If so, I wish I could hug you through this computer screen! You're absolutely right. Teens get a bad rap. It's not right and it turns a lot of people away that are probably more equipped to foster teens than they realize.
I think its because people are barely able to handle their own trauma. They don't trust themselves to be able to help others that have likely gone through worse as well as how it manifests with puberty. Unfortunately, many shift that insecurity away from themselves and say that it's an impossible task either way.
Part of it is probably from parents who raised their own children already. I love my boys and was a single dad with custody for most of their lives. But let me tell you something - people like my oldest at about the age of 14 are the reason exorcisms were invented. He’s 28 now and he’s amazing. But holy crap the two of them were something else as teenagers.
Obviously they are not you. Everyone is an individual.
But I for one am permanently emotionally scarred from my boys going through puberty.
Not to say I would never foster a teen. But there would be a certain level of anxiety because it’s a rough time in life for a lot of people.
We are about to take in a 12 year old as our first foster placement! Thank you for alleviating some anxiety. We have always kept it in our minds that we would be OK with taking in a teen without too many "behaviors". (Mainly cause we don't have any bios and this is our first time!)
Our family was super anxious about taking in a teen because of the stigma that "they're going to be so much trouble and they are difficult." That may be true, but at least you can talk through some of their issues and work with them. You can't talk to an upset toddler or young child really, so older kids and teens have that advantage!
Glad you are willing to take older kids. I know it can be stressful cuz it's so hard to know what to expect. Definitely make sure you have a support system and people you can talk to. Therapy has been super helpful for my older kiddos (all of them really).
I fostered a teen boy over 20 years ago. I was robbed four times. Twice found him and several of his friends stoned out of their minds on my patio, nearly had my car impounded, he turned the back of my apt into a marijuana garden, drank on the sly…lots, and topped it off with three suicide attempts, two that I was witness to. It exhausted me and once free I never even wanted my own kids after that. Too stressful. He tracked me down years later and thanked me for putting up with it all. I never thought I would want anything more to do with that again…until about a a week ago a fosters video just grabbed my heart…and now I’m in the very early stages of trying to adopt a teen boy…waiting to hear if the kid wants to meet and talk to size me up as a prospective dad. I cannot explain it but he is the only kid in all my life I have ever wanted to be my son.
This is such a cool story. Thank you so much for sharing. I've said that about a few of my kids who I eventually adopted...I KNEW they were my sons. My biological brother gave our foster parents the hardest time as a teen. He was ROUGH. He's now in his 40s and I know he appreciates them ❤️.
@@laurenfosters8487 Thank you. I have no idea if I can pass all the hoops in the system, nor do I know if the boy himself is interested. I do know when I saw his video and started grousing to God about why no one in a year has so much as wished him well or expressed interest in him, it was like this little voice started speaking…why must it be someone else, why can’t you want him? Why can’t you be his dad? From that moment I could not look at his video and not think…my son. Very strange and unexpected. I went from feeling sorry for him to loving him and wanting to be his dad between heartbeats. So unlike anything I can recall quite like that. It’s in God’s hands now. May it be as He wills.
Please don't foster anybody at all. You clearly have no compassion for foster youth, you just want your heart to fill all good and full while you incur no inconvenience. How dare you even make a young mans suicide attempts and struggles with drugs and alcohol all about you and then think you're fit to foster anyone. Be ashamed.
@@LillithPlaysSims You are doubtless correct. I was not up to the challenge of being a single foster dad. And I was certainly not prepared for the depth of need that young man required. In my defense I will only say that I told the foster agency that I could handle mild emotion issues, and I was paired with a kid with profound anger and trauma…horrific stuff this kid went through, heart wrenching…but I was not remotely equipped to be the foster parent this boy needed…and I am sorry for that, for he needed someone far better than me.
I'm 25 and my husband is 26 and we are fostering a 15 year old. It has it's hard moments but she is a great kid and it's been great seeing her grow so much in the short amount of time we've had her. When we worked in group homes for foster kids, all the teens we met were great and all deserve to be in a good loving home. I wish I could foster/adopt all of them.
Thank you so much for making my decision to start the process of fostering teens feel right. I raised five biological children, 1 girl and 4 boys, the youngest is 20. I feel like people’s reaction to me wanting to foster teens makes me question whether it’s a good idea. You video gives me confidence that it is and I’m all in
You have to do what's best for you and your family regardless of what others think. We got so much push back from friends when we were about to take in #s 7&8. They were a tougher case and had been in 6 foster homes making us their 7th. Lots of issues with their case and the boys themselves were just hard in general. I *knew* they were our son's the second I met them (foster home #6 was a friend of ours so I knew them way before they would ever need another home). Listen to your gut and trust yourself ❤️
I just stumbled across your channel and I’m really glad I did. I have wanted to be a foster care mom since I was a teen and always figured I’d focus on teens since they have the highest need. Most of the other channels I’ve seen focus on young children, so I appreciate your candor with a lot of this. Thank you!
That's so awesome! Half you're here! Thank you so much for being willing to take teenagers ❤️
I just aged out of foster care and I was told “no one wants you guys because they would just rather have fixable life. Teens are like a puzzle with a bunch of missing pieces” and that was my foster mom 💀
This breaks my heart. I'm so incredibly sorry that someone told you that nonsense. You are important and valuable and needed.
LOVE THIS!!!! Just stumbled upon your video and absolutely love your energy!! My hubby and I are TEEN ONLY foster parents and have had our Foster Son for 4 months. We were definitely the purple unicorn in our area requesting only teens between14 and18 years old, but like you said, know what your strengths are and capitalize on that. Keep the positivity flowing! I can't wait to watch more of your videos!
Thank you so much and that's so great to hear! ❤️
Hello,
I'm a 13 year old girl who's getting hit and abused by her parents. I am mentally going through a lot.I just want to get adopted and end all of this.Please let me know if i can get any kind of help.
I told my Mom that I want to foster teenagers in the future (I'm 14 and all I'm certain about my life is that I'm not straight and that I wanna foster cats and kids) and she keeps telling me they'll murder me in my sleep. Like lady if they do that I probably deserved it
That's so awesome! I knew when I was a young teen that I wanted to adopt some day also and I stuck to it. I didn't know exactly what avenue I would take or what that would look like for me as an adult I just knew it was going to happen ❤️ Don't get me wrong mental health is a huge deal in the foster care community but there's also a lot of resources out there. 4/10 have my kids go to therapy and soon to be one more.
I’ve heard tons of news stories of parents getting murdered by their own kids. Never by foster kids lol
You're right, abusive parents are at a higher risk of being killed for sure. The stories I hear about where non-abusive parents are afraid of their kids seem to be slower developing, with enough time for intervention.
simple, just baby proof everything, including knives.
So happy you did this video! Homestudy ✅ We are officially certified! Our age group is 12-17 and male preference. We are definitely open to siblings and if there is a sister we are open! I love teens! The crazy thing is people are afraid of teens, however don’t all babies eventually become teens? Lol 😂 I hope this becomes a series! Teens need so much support!
Yay! So glad you are officially certified ❤️. Let the adventures begin!
And kudos to you for being willing to take boys BTW. I'm a "boy mom" myself but I know that's not the norm. People give boys a bad rap.
I grew up in a house full of girls and currently work with women. It is the balance I need and we know young men deserve to have positive male role models so they can learn life skills. I am definitely a boy mom. I love to cook to cook and they love to eat win, win. ❤️💕
Our range right now is 0-12 years. The more experience we have we will continue to to increase the age we take in. Hoping to have 0-17 age range some day ❤
Hello,
I'm a 13 year old girl who's getting hit and abused by her parents. I am mentally going through a lot.I just want to get adopted and end all of this.Please let me know if i can get any kind of help.
@@dhbuddy4064 did you tell the police or authorities?
I LOVED my teens when I worked at a group home for teen girls, but I am single and youngish 31, so I’m just afraid to have teens on my own. Like at the group home my “role” was more bonding with the kids, teaching them, talking to them, bringing them to appointments, having fun with them , but I was never really the one that made the rules or did a lot of the discipline, so I’m scared on that aspect, plus the big behaviors like cutting, running away, sexual stuff, fighting, etc. I just don’t feel comfortable as a single person. I think once I get older and whatever kids i have progress to teen and I have more experience I will take teens. But In my life right now I just don’t feel called/equipped to foster teens yet.
I am rewatching some of your vids because we were licensed to foster teen boys (we have bio teen boys) and now have a sibling set with a brother and sister. Nobody wanted to separate these two. I love teens. I find toddlers terrifying 😂
Sameeee
My fiance and I are many years away from kids but we have talked about adopting/fostering Teens. That way we can offer them a place to build independence and have good support system. Thank for sharing it has made me personally more confident for the future. Thank for sharing.
That's so awesome! I'm glad to hear it! I'm working on a video about teen sibling sets so definitely check that out as soon as it pops up
Wow! Looooooved your energy!! Thank you for sharing.
I’m afraid of teenagers because I was one 10 years ago, I was among them and sadly bullied by many, I wasn’t a saint I was so hormonal and emotionally abused. No I wasn’t in foster care but it’s hard enough to deal with your own biological children imagine trying to do that with other children? And not knowing how to handle it and get through them? Teenage boys can be so disturbed and aggressive I’m tiny and I don’t know but my heart still hurts for them but it’s not for the faint of heart.
By the time you are a pre-teen, people look at you as a pre-meditated personality. You are a “liar,” a “bad egg.” A “troubled youth.” When you are a little kid; they view your behaviors and personality as “cute” or “not your fault.” By the time you are a pre-teen, they attribute your behavior to a chosen life as a “bad” person. They start looking at you as a potential peer, instead of a kid who has not had their essential emotional, physical, and mental needs met. Instead of a kid who has not known safety in a home.
We only foster teens. Those babies and toddlers can stay with those younger parents! 😂
this is such a beautiful video, thank you for sharing your experience 💛💛
“Many take one gender to keep things safe”
Me a lesbian: 👀
"to keep things safe" is more about the kids themselves. Being a lesbian shouldn't interfere with you becoming a foster parent to whatever genders you decide to take into your home (if you're a particular area even allows you to specify). When it comes to teenagers oftentimes people will only take one gender or the other to keep them safe from each other. Sometimes we assume that they view each other as siblings and that's not always the case in foster homes especially with the teen/tween age group. I'm working on a video right now about fostering sibling sets that explains it a bit as well. For example I was the only teen girl in an all-boy teen foster home growing up and they had to take a lot of precautions to make sure hormones didn't interfere with any of the placements in the home. You can't have foster kids living in home together that are romantically involved so parents have to make sure that lines aren't crossed.
As parents and adults, we know all this, and more, but as the one caring for others you make everything posible for keeping them safe at all times.
@@laurenfosters8487 I think she more so meant that is a very heterosexual way of viewing things. Because it is possible to foster all boys and two of the boys be gay.
We are working towards becoming foster parents specifically for teens and tweens only. I have 3 bio kids and a permanent kinship placement. All girls and the 3 bio kids are grown and out of the house. I feel I connect better with older kids. I want boys lol cause I never got any but we aren't planning on restricting it to just boys. We are open to younger kids if they are part of a sibling group. I want a full house again but I dont want the sleepless nights of a baby, or the heavy lifting and high energy of a toddler again. My husband was in the foster system briefly as a teen and we just understand theres a need and feel capable of helping with that. Only hold up right now is the house. We just bought a fixer upper and it needs some necessary repairs before it will be ready to handle more people using it daily.
I'm a 13 year old girl who's getting hit and abused by her parents. I am mentally going through a lot.I just want to get adopted and end all of this.Please let me know if i can get any kind of help.
@@dhbuddy4064 I'm so sorry sweety. I dont know how I can help but you should tell someone, a teacher, police or call your local child protection agency. Sending my love 💕 I hope you are safe
I’m doing this right now! My kiddo is a blessing!
Although it was my husband and I first time we fostered a teen they begged us and begged us and he became abusive to the other kids and his mentality was not of a 16 year old but of a 6 year old. Allegations began to arise and we backed out and said never again.
I'm SO sorry this happened to you. Thank you for sharing a bit of your story.
I’m so glad I came across your channel. I just finished my classes and I informed them that I would foster ages 10-16. I feel like tens need a lot of focus and to prepare them for independent living. Thank you so much
You got this!
I'd be afraid to foster a teen because their problems in life start to get really severe and harder to handle. I don't feel like I have enough experience to deal with stuff like drug use, pregnancy, and other craziness!
Totally understandable. It's super important to do your research and see if it's for you. With that said, drug exposure and trauma is a beast even with little kids. Not all teens struggle with drugs and pregnancy but, theoretically, the case worker should disclose any of that info ahead of time before placement (if the child is pregnant or has a history of drug addiction). There are some really get kids out there floating through foster care :)
Love the content, love the energy, love the high volume! 🤩👌i agree, teens are awesome btw!
Got my license today and will only be fostering teen girls until my youngest is in college, then we’ll foster teen boys too.
That's so awesome! Congratulations on getting licensed!
I'm a 13 year old girl who's getting hit and abused by her parents. I am mentally going through a lot.I just want to get adopted and end all of this.Please let me know if i can get any kind of help.
@@dhbuddy4064 Please report this to a school counselor, teacher or even a doctor. They are all mandatory reporters and will be able to report the issue for you. If you are in immediate danger, you can always call the police as well. Please look for help and stay safe!
I've planned on adopting siblings since I was in high school. My dad was adopted and it's just always been something I felt drawn to. Fast forward --my husband and I have 8 combined, with only 2 left at home. We haven't started any licensing yet, and need to add on to the house (not the house we had all the kids in!) I'm all in but hubby goes back n forth 😭
My husband struggled a bit in the beginning too. It's a hug commitment and a lot of hard work.
Thank you for being amazing and helping humanity. I’m not religious but if there is a heaven you and your husband are going.
Thank you for this video because I am trying to convince my husband to foster teens so that we can keep kids together
I promise it's not as scary as it sounds but I also don't want to give you a false sense of "easy" either. From my experience being former foster youth and living in an all teen home as well as my experience fostering teens most of the kids I've come across have been pretty good kids. With that said I definitely know if you foster parents that have really struggled fostering teens and some of the complications that can come with that (when you add in lifelong trauma and hormones). All that said I wouldn't trade my newly adopted 13 and 15-year-old for the world.
I'm a 13 year old girl who's getting hit and abused by her parents. I am mentally going through a lot.I just want to get adopted and end all of this.Please let me know if i can get any kind of help.
What advice do you have for helping biological children adjust to new, foster/adopted siblings? This is my biggest concern and I need some support/guidance in this area. Please and thanks!!!
That's a really great question and a great idea for a video in the future too. We kind of always went into it with the openness of how temporary things could be and how quickly things could change at any time. When we first started fostering our kids had already been military kids for a while and were used to a lot of change happening at a moment's notice. Believe it or not that actually helped a bit. I think it's okay to mourn the loss when children that come and go. I think it teaches healthy emotions just to go ahead and cry it out together, "it's okay buddy. I know this is all super hard. I'm having a hard time too!" I thought I would see my kids struggle a bit with having to share mom and dad and I found that they were actually mostly fine with it. The only time they really struggled was when they just maybe didn't gel with a placement. There was one point where we had a little boy around the same age as my oldest son and they just didn't get along. That was a temporary placement so it kind of worked out but that would have been a very hard long-term placement for him. Really the short answer is just a lot of open communication. We were very transparent about what the process is like and how things could change at any time.
I honestly don’t know why people don’t foster teens but I think it is because they want the cute little kids 🤷
I’m working on getting approved to foster kids and looking forward to fostering teens and hopefully adopting as well.
We want to foster teens so badly but we are knee deep in bio littles and just don't know what it would be like. Is it a terrible idea to bring teenagers into a VERY loud, chaotic, lively home full of little kids? Would they go crazy and hate it??
I would love to foster or adopt pre-teen and teens, I am just afraid of them being aggressive or violent and being lied to by CPS, any advice?
That's a tough one. There's definitely no guarantees. I'd ask a TON of questions, especially if they have been in other homes. Maybe ask if the other foster parent is willing to talk to you too. I will say though that I've had a couple of foster parents try to talk me out of taking placements that were hard for them and I'm so glad I didn't listen. Some of my kids have needed a LOT of therapy but they thrive now because of it. Usually, there's a honeymoon period when a child moves in and then the poo hits the fan. that's when foster parents usually throw in the towel but remembering that trauma does horrible things to the brain (and the kid's need help overcoming that) and that things will get worse before they get better is important. Therapy is super key for really hard kids.
Is there a big difference between middle schoolers vs high schoolers? Which would you recommend for a single parent first timer?
Can you please give me some advice on how to help my foster teen stop acting like their little siblings primary caregiver and start acting like a child?
I m almost certified for foster parent. Still on working house and following rules required.
I'm looking to start fostering in the next 5 years or so and I want to foster teen girls and THE LOOKS I GET when I say that
That's so awesome! I found it super helpful to find support groups and meet other Foster parents in your same situation because even the most well meaning friend and relative outside of this whole world of foster care and adoption has a hard time understanding why we do what we do.
💞 I'm fixing my house to get ready to foster 8-16 years old .. I'm trying to talk my husband into taking in up to 18 but he hasn't changed his mind yet.
I’m thinking about fostering teens or even adopting teens. Everyone is trying to talk me out of it.
I hear ya. People mean really well but then come of as discouraging. It's hard because it CAN be really hard on some families. I'm sure my foster mom could tell a few crazy stories herself but I know she absolutely wouldn't have traded it for the world and we wouldn't either.
I'm a 13 year old girl who's getting hit and abused by her parents. I am mentally going through a lot.I just want to get adopted and end all of this.Please let me know if i can get any kind of help.
@@dhbuddy4064 I'm so sorry to hear that 😞. My heart breaks for you. If you have a safe adult to report this to (teacher, councilor etc) then please do. You are able to call CPS yourself but please make sure you are safe enough to do that without causing further harm. Please keep me posted.
@@laurenfosters8487 i've done everything i can.idk.Nobody wants to help me.
We are looking at fostering teen sibling groups. Also i aged out of foster care.
So glad you're here! Thank you for sharing with me. There's such a huge need for teens in care. Keep me posted on your journey
I want to foster teens!
We just got our license. Our age group is 12 up only.
Most of my family fosters kids. My grandma is the only one who fosters teens tho
I absolutely LOVE that! Please tell them all that I appreciate what they do.
Im Afraid bec teenagers are scary bec of my poor highschool experience add trauma to that
That's totally understandable and I would definitely suggest that if you are considering fostering you start with an age group you feel comfortable with.
I actually want to foster mainly teens 🤷🏽♀️
I am fosting a 15 year old girl I am only scared of failing her
I'm sure you are doing better than you know ❤
I simply love you….
No idea, i want to foster for teens
We foster a teen!
You're hot. In all seriousness, do you think they will accept pilots to foster kids/teens?
Thank you and, yes! Definitely cover any availability you have with your job with your agency but that's kind of the cool thing about shopping for agencies is some are more willing to work with busy families and others so just kind of ask around.
@@laurenfosters8487 Awesome and thank you! Not sure if you or your spouse is still stationed but hang in there!
The only content i got from this was to don't be off guadred by their age nthing about how to handle them
Thank you so much for sharing.
Please please chill. If you calm down a little I might be able to listen to you. Im sure you have some wonderful advise . Thanks
Thanks for sharing but WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING AT US????? 🙉 🙉
Sorry if it's too loud lol. Strong mic I guess 🤷🏻♀️.
As I go I'm learning how to equalize the audio a bit more so check out my newest video and see if it still sounds like I'm shouting lol. I *think* I fixed it (although good mic or not I'm pretty a loud girl in real life too 😂)
Are you in jhb?
No
Wow! Yelling!
Sorry! I will need to do a new one of these soon but back when this was filmed, I was both using different editing equipment and also had no idea how to change the sound quality.
Can you foster me at edinas in her yard in my mini home she has people that are jelouse there jelouse of my workers then they will love you
I love kisses and cuddles
In mailbu
Stop me from taking my life
Mt sister passed away
She busy all the time going on trips
Omg no need to scream at the beginning lol
Sorry! I will need to do a new one of these soon but back when this was filmed, I was both using different editing equipment and also had no idea how to change the sound quality.
Interesting topic, but please stop screaming at us.
Hi
HI!
Why are you yelling
jeeezz wanna yell much
Why are you shouting
Sorry! I will need to do a new one of these soon but back when this was filmed, I was both using different editing equipment and also had no idea how to change the sound quality.
WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING?
You talk too fast
I'll try to work on that (but I make no promises, lol). Thank you for the feedback
@@laurenfosters8487 your talking speed is totally fine.
because most people don't want to deal with someone else's trainwreck. Especially Girl trainwrecks.