I'm Preparing For A Divorce
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.ย. 2024
- I'm Preparing For A Divorce
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What I heard: “I’m leaving my husband. Can I stick him with my 160k student loan debt?”
Lol
K. Cameron Lau goals
A 160!!!!
Lol pretty much
Yep
"I am not sure to do with my student loan debt". Ummm, how about pay it.
She says they're not on the same page with money and mentions her mountain of debt that she seems to have done nothing about for decades. Sounds like she was really asking "how much of this can I expect to unload onto him"
m ph That's a big amount for a small salary. She is going to be working her way out of that for awhile.
She's a scammer and he's got some issues too. I'd call him stupid except he makes 90K a year.
@@timjohnson1199 I guarantee you the issue is that he doesn't wanna help her pay her student loans.
Exactly 😐
I'm so happy for my divorce . Best decision , we were no longer happy and that person was a monster. I'm free!
God hates divorce. anyone who’s divorced and remarried needs to go back to their first wife or husband if they are still living.
congratulations 🍾😊
@@southparkengland2276 😅 marriage is a human contract. Used to be a strictly financial situation, not always great for the woman. God is Love. If you have love, it’s all good!
Why people marry in the first place? It doesn’t really mean anything also most people fell out of love quickly or lose attraction
@@Dhuxul9 yup
Only divorce attorneys win in a divorce.
Isn't it amazing how she starts the call by wondering what she should do with HER student loans? You may think she understands that HER debt is HER debt
Marriage turns a marriage into a business transaction. That's exactly what its all about from the beginning. Not enough people understand that.
@@UsefullPig Nah, some painful truth is what that is
No fault divorce creates easy out no trying to remedy and restore commitment.
Steve unless both people are actually in love & work together fine
SPEECH!!
@@indiaxlovee Yeah, but how often does that happen? I've always said, women love you to death until one day they wake up and hate you with every fiber in their being. From that moment on, they're free, and you're still stuck with supporting them.
hmm Dave didnt catch it, she said 'she didnt want to go on with the marriage'... sounds like she the one who wants the divorce.
ron whiteleo
He caught it he just wanted to side with her as to not offend any female members of his listening audience.
@@chrisj197438 Or she was the one calling asking for fincial advice and not marriage advice. He has made it very clear that he does not give advice that people don't ask for. Also their are plenty of people who want the divorce that are completely in the right for wanting it. Their isn't nearly enough information here to say though.
vincentrich - Banned But Not Forgotten really women pressure men into marriage....
@@jamiep9694 yes. there isn't near as much reason for men to marry as there is for women to. Women have to give birth, have kids, etc. A marriage helps to give security to the woman. A man can get more attractive as he ages, women tend to get less attractive over time and can't have kids after a certain age.
It sounds like her idea to break up with him after 22 years because of money.
It sounded like it was more to it than that but that was also an issue.
@@morlandoemtp I agree, marriage is about compromise and sacrifice, but there is a fine line in which a person can only give so much until they are left whith nothing. She drew that line and I'm proud of her, she made the decision to make her life better. Now, I nor you can tell whether her marriage was worth a divorce as we weren't apart of it, so let's leave that to her.
Is the student loan debt for their graduated children?
Oh course it's her who wants to leave. It's the woman that always leaves 80 to 90% of the time.
No thanks
Divorce does not turn marriage into business transaction. Marriage is a business transaction starting day one you get married.
I really hate how people talk about working through the relationship and saving it. I'm getting ready to go through a separation and when people talk to me about going to see a marriage Councillor or something, I HATE it. You don't think we've thought of that? You don't think we've tried various things before coming to this decision? You think that you suggesting that is what's going to suddenly save our relationship? If people are talking about separation, and are asking for advice about it, they aren't asking for advice on how to save the relationship.
Ty!!!!
Marriage counseling is useless if both want a divorce or one just don't want to be married anymore. Just move on. Counseling cost money is not cheap
Yeah it can be very condescending and belittling.
If you don't want people's advise, then don't gripe to them about your woes. I guarantee that will solve your problem.
I agree, counseling is fine but not really necessary when a separation is agreed to. Why prolong it and waste money when separation is inevitable. I get it,
" at least you tried" blah, blah...and at the end of the it's still separation. We are all big boys and girls. If two adults agree on a separation and or one only agrees on a separation it is what it is. I've been there.
She may be back in love after she hears the debt she has to pay.
Lol the candidness in this statement
LOL 💀
Agree
The man who married her should be ashamed of himself
I was thinking this lol
The way Dave dropped the pen at 3:34 “well, no equity there. It don’t amount to anything” 😂😂😂
Seriously though, where did all their money go? They have nothing worth any amount of money and she still has 160k in student loans and she has to be in her 40s at this point.
😂😂
Husband kind of smart putting nothing into the mortgage. House worth hardly anything lol
160K$ student debt for a 50k salary? Sheesh.🙄
She makes 50k a year, and her student debt is 160k????? Why do people do this to themselves?
Her husband was her way out of it
@@comichoarder2109 was
22 years of marriage, no house equity, 160k in student loan debt, 50k income. Where did all the money go?!?!
that's the reason they are divorcing
Def odd
These people are too poor for divorce.
Car payment
This is why I'm afraid to get married. If we decide to divorce, it will be an absolute nightmare. The process of going through everything, i.e. division of assets, court hearings, etc. will be a pain. I've heard horror stories. I am not ready for that yet.
@Mathew Jay Evans....Do Not Get Married. I lost everything after my divorce ,she got it all the physical assets and moved in another guy. I even lost my kids too. If millionaires can't keep their marriages and families together, what chance do you and I have?...think about it, my friend. peace
Do get married.. as long as you have a strong healthy relationship you have nothing to worry about
That’s all valid. A living will, trust or prenup clears most of that up and forces that conversation. Worth doing it. Such a significant legal transaction
@@Rachel-ul8etbetter to not marry and utilize other legal docs and financial strategies to make sure your loved one is provided for and has certain authorities, if that's what you wish to do
Actually in most divorce situations, the emotions become highly charged. Good luck in isolating your emotions. You're gonna need it.
160 in debt for a 50k salary job, what'd she get a BACH in liberal studies at a 40k a year uni?
hahaha
LegendofVII
Going to Trump university is Still worst HA HA HA!
Divorce doesn't turn a marriage into a business transaction. Marriage is a business transaction from day one. Divorce is a dissolution of the business transaction. A marriage and a relationship are two different things.
@Jeffrey Stern Exactly. Marriage is nothing more or less than a legal contract. Marriage turns a relationship into a business deal. It's 100% a woman's game. There is ABSOLUTELY no reason whatsoever for a man to do it.
@Jeffrey Stern There ought to be a law requiring every man to spend ninety days observing family court and divorce proceedings while isolated from his fiancée before he's legally allowed to marry.
AGAIN: DON'T GET MARRIED!!!
did she say she has $160k of student loans and she only makes $50k???
Apron Acres
I will never understand that part.
That's actually not that uncommon depending on the field. Lots of social services fields require a masters degree but entry level jobs only pay about $40-$60k right out. Sounds like she went about it the wrong way, though. There's ways to save money on tuition, but $160k debt for a $50k job is almost always a bad decision.
Aaron Oliver
I'm aware of what they cost but there are options.
For instance where I live you child can qualify for free two years after high school paid for by personal property taxes which I don't mind paying.
Seem most are going about it the wrong way.
Sometimes I wander if the read student loan documents before signing.
I read the fine print ant told them where to shove it.
Worked while going to school.
Air Force and ANG paid most of my tuition and student loans.
BlackWorldTraveler Property tax is theft and should not exist, period. You already paid taxes when you bought the property. Why should government be able to charge rent for something that you bought? Unlike insurance on a motor vehicle which you need in order to drive, but not own it.
Joshua S.
Don't know where you live but the personal property tax here goes to the schools,libraries,river parks,extensive network of walk/jog/bike trails,road maintenance,fire,police,led street lights,etc..
I like the pristine pothole free streets and low crime where I live.
I pay $1700 a year here which is less than 3 days pay for me to live in this upper middle class area.
No problem.
And I did say it helps kids with two years free college and it's working well.
But this where I live.
There are around 10 countries in the world with no PPT.
At least two or more in the Middle East. Maybe two countries along the pacific rim I think.
I'm sure there are daily flights to those places.
30 years for me. You will survive but the grief is life changing.
Dave was so sweet to her and super helpful. One of his best calls.
Marriage is a business transaction. The worst part about it is you involve the government into your life.
m ph
I was thinking the same thing after he said marriage turns divorce into a business transaction.
Exactly
Legal marriage began to ban interracial marriages
Marriage in ONLY a business transaction if you choose to view it that way. Divorce isn't natural, it was never intended to occur within a marriage. If you are going into marriage viewing the action as transactional, then yea it's a business transaction and you'll likely end up getting a divorce down the road.
Mark Smith
That's what's scary about marriage.
Many don't even know it's a business in the beginning.
The transaction is later.
And can be a battlefield.
Cash cow for courts,real estate agents,CC companies,etc..
Lawyers make out big time.
Sometimes I wonder if marriage is natural.
Maybe for 1% of the population.
read between the lines Dave said flee to mexico and eat beans and rice
Take a cruise on his card while you can!
If she wants to leave, and she has the debt (160 000!), she has the bigger amount in savings, why, oh why, would the guy have to pay a dime?
His income will determine that. Many states are no fault so one partner can literally cheat on the other, end the marriage, and still get alimony. People only seem to understand that marriage is a legal matter when they're going through a divorce. Anyone who fails to get legal consultation before marriage is...... not being very smart.
The real question : I have a student loan debt . Can I force my husband to pay half if I get divorced ?
No dont be a deadbeat
It's funny how people think they know about this woman's marriage of over 22 years based on a 9 min video (where Dave is doing most of the talking).
The courts have predetermined the outcome to a very large degree, regardless of the particulars of the marriage. Equitable distribution is NOT equal distribution.
I made a horrible investment and would like to saddle my soon to be ex with it. Smh
She probably wants the ex husband to be to paid for the student loans and all her debit...😁😁...!
American wives in 2017 "we're just not on the same page anymore - I want a divorce".
JDave Foster
But it’s “complicated” and she’s “confused” we just don’t understand “what she’s going through” 😂😂
men too, it's all sad.
Married men in 2023: Hitting on other women constantly
6:09 Why on earth is she "due some alimony" after 22 years??? See? THAT is where the courts are f ed up.
Marriage is a legal thing...why on earth do people complain about the legalities after voluntarily signing up for the legalities? If you keep someone in a certain lifestyle for 22 years, you're likely gonna pay to keep them in that lifestyle after a divorce.
@@RepentImmediately
Why?
They can find a job and support themselves.
Besides, almost 100% of divorces are initiated by women. Because they're just not feeling complete (god forbid they read a book.)
I have 160K in student loans and I make $50K per year? Guess there is no cure for stupid.
It's real simple gentleman: Don't get married. In fact, don't live with a woman. Save yourself mentally and financially.
I certainly understand your feelings, given how situations like this have become the norm. I don't think she has a very good reason for getting a divorce..."We're not on the same page anymore". I bet the husband may not think that...and he will be sideswiped (or was, if she went through with it.) That happened to me and it was devastating. However, I know that not all men would do such things and I do believe there are good, Godly men out there who would love to have a loving wife. Just the same way, not all women would do such a thing to a man. Unfortunately, too many would, but there are still some of us out here who wouldn't. Folks may or may not believe me. I just was so sad for the man in this situation, the whole conversation.
@@BethBurns68 ... There are bad people in both genders, but the problem is, that women have the government, the cops, society and the courts on their side 100%!!! If a man can't afford to feed his kids, he goes to jail.... If a woman can't afford to feed her kids, she gets welfare, section 8, food stamps, help with utilities, etc,etc.
When the police go to a domestic violence call, they are instructed to arrest the man, even though statistics PROVE that men and women are equally at fault for violence in the home!
Women are 80% more likely to get probation and avoid jail time for the same crime that a man would get prison time for!
Women initiate 70-80% of divorce, and the numbers are even higher in western states like California.
Women get the children and child support in 80-90% of divorces, and no fault divorces mean they still get everything even if they cheated on their husband.... I can go on, and on!
@@formula112967 ... I salute you for the truth, statistics don't lie but are unfortunately now considered the new hate speech
Sometimes people find love and want to have families. These are good things and marriage is the right way to do it. There I go again stating the obvious.
@@formula112967 I champion any cause that leads to the downfall of the white male privilege that has led society to this point 🤔
She needs to get a studio apartment and restart her life getting to work on her baby steps.
Or just rent a room for a few years. It’s not forever, it’s just for right now.
And they say no one plans to fail.
"Oh, we're just not on the same page" = I've been cheating.
0:44 yeah,... NO
We're not on the same page anymore = she or he has found someone else. =/
My alcoholic wife got heavy duty religion and went and got a Master's degree on some religious course , we're separated I have no idea how much it cost her but Wheaton college is pretty fancy.
My wife and I are working on this as well…we each have $300k retirements…a house worth $300k that we owe $89k on….and the only shared debt is a $12k loan. We have agreed to leave each others retirements alone and sell the house. I would like to tap my own retirement to build a place on land I have…and try to live mortgage free for the rest of my life. I have fifteen more years of working to rebuild the retirement.
Woman in her 40's racks up $160,000 in debt, making 50 a year, and decides her best option is to leave her husband because "we just don't see eye to eye on money."
Maybe you should publish a beans and rice recipe book. :D
I almost think it is impossible to fully prepare for a divorce. We all handle it differently. Like my odd way.....
Hi Dave I also want to divorce my wife.
75% of divorces are initiated by the woman! She’s just not happy, so divorce. Problem is after you’re still with yourself. She’s not going to follow your advice. She doesn’t do “hard Work”.
iamlsusam probably because sometimes a husband wants a woman thats a maid/cook/nanny when she’s working just as much as him
@@indiaxlovee for. 50K a yr? Yeah, keep that.
Maybe it's cuz a lot of married men still act single. I get hit on by married men pretty frequently. If I were their wives I'd also be "not happy."
@@RepentImmediately I never had any interest in stepping out on my marriage. I always joked that it’s hard enough to keep one woman happy, why would I want to try to try it with two of them at the same time!?
I always say, everybody should have emergency funds because you never know what’s going to happen. You can meet with the most perfect person on earth and suddenly things change and you need to get out now. What’s your exit strategy?
The best strategy to protect your funds is to create a single and separate investment, one that generates profit short-term, so even in the worst case, the court is aware of your investment it doesn’t have jurisdiction on the profits.
Why is she entitled to alimony again?
Look up what marriage actually is 🙄
She is the example of what's wrong with marriage. Dave says something horrible must have happened, but then she casually replies that they aren't seeing eye-to-eye so she's divorcing him. She's not ashamed to call a Christian radio show to ask how to maximize her profit.
Ryan Brandstrom these couples never say the real reason. It’s none of our business, but telling us would give us insight on what to avoid.
@@IWantToMature85 .... Take it from somebody who knows.... Avoid marriage and children.
Isn't it embarrassing?.,, unless it's adultery or abuse what can you not work through?
Maybe he is mentally abusive? Cheating ? A hopeless prn addict??? Noone would throw away 22 years for nothing.
@NB-nh2sf mental abuse or any of the reasons I stated in my comment. Noone wants to casually throw away 22 years.
Man calls in: I’m preparing for divorce, I don’t have my wife in my credit card
Dave: You are a poor excuse of a man. Everything should be together.
Woman calls in: I’m preparing for divorce, my husband isn’t on my credit card.
Dave: Good! Now make sure you shut down all the joint accounts.
He doesn’t advise Credit Cards under any circumstances
Excellent advice
Marraige is a business transaction to begin with, not just when getting divorced.
Solid advice
Counseling is very expensive, not everyone can afford it. Specially when money is tight. Easy to say go to a counselor Dave.
If you can't afford counseling, you're really not gonna like how much a divorce costs.
@@RepentImmediately I agreed with you. I am not married or have any children and about to retire soon, but have divorced brothers and sisters, and it was a nightmare for them, I learned at lot from them, even years and years later still dealing with their ex's, I'll say no to marriage, it's a 50-65% divorce rate investment, and it is an investment from the heart and money, just date and don't have any children, and if want children good luck with that, that's another nightmare scenario. Seen it in every family.
Yes that’s right beans and wice for a long time !
They have no kids and she'll still get part of the man's salary after divorcing?
Depends on the state they live in.
jeff jackson
Oh, she will.
Do you understand what marriage is?
How do you rack up $160k in student loans on a $50k income? That's crazy.
keep deferring payments or making "income based payments" which don't lower the principal and the interest over the years keeps the debt growing. I bet when she graduated that debt was smaller than $160k and she just let the interest grow on the debt.
@@smithrr6 people’s stupidity continues to amaze me.
I would hope she is a medical resident, but I'm pretty sure she's just an idiot.
My husband wants a divorce. Can i protect my retirement savings? We live in WA state.
Washington is a community property state..and a no fault divorce state..50/50 division of assets..alimony child support and 50% of pension or 401K during the marriage...
I too am preparing for divorce. My husband told me if he hears "Dave Ramsey says..." one more time one of us will be out the door. Lol. Just kidding. We are both loving knoeing where our money is going! Thanks DR!
If I was his lawyer, we will go after her saving account for sure. She has been able to save that amount due to using his money
Alimony? She makes 50k a year. Why would she get alimony?
Jason the court will say to keep up with her current standard of living. Since he makes more he will have to send money her way. Even if she doesn't need it. The court has the final say sadly. Sad but true.
Bryan Adams ya it's all messed up. 50k is plenty to live a great life. So many people do well off less
Because if you are a man in Divorce Court the cards are stacked against you
Carrie your friend is in the minority, 97% of men pay alimony, even though they are the primary breadwinner only 60% of the time.
That's why it is a BS racket. Friend of mine paid Alimony to his wife who had a 90K per year job. He just so happened to make 400K. So this woman who just up and decided after 2 years she didn't want to be married anymore took half of his retirement and over 1 year of 35% of his gross income. All for the grievous sin of not being lovable to her anymore.
It's sad people separate without even try to fix what went wrong.
Most people don’t separate without trying to work it out.
What if we do have a bank shared? What should I do about that to avoid conflict.
Very educational
I am worrying now
Yes it becomes a bussiness
Married 22 yrs with $160K in student loan debt
From a legal perspective, there are several big errors in the suggestions he's making that would hurt you in a contested divorce process. Consult a legal professional, don't rely on this!!
DR ORDIA was able to bring back my ex wife and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems too 🙏🙏🙏
Contact him via what's app 🙏🙏
+2348077751695🙏🙏
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Yea.. logic has no place in family law
Oh, she’s a gem.
How on earth does someone get $160k student loan debt and only earn $50k when you are at least 20 years into your career?
Am tired
Tori of Cleveland, Ohio, how are you doing now? My husband divorced me after 34 years of marriage because we are not in the same page anymore.
Im Mom staying at home if my husband wants to divorce me I will have to represent myself because we don’t share bank accounts he has a good job making 120k we have a house paying mortgage and 2 little ones can some body tell me what probably I’m going to get .
half of everything
If he tries to go after you're ability to mother the children, you may get nothing. Many times (in fact most of the time) things like child support and custody are decided during mediation (they don't actually make it to court).
Half
Child support, alimony, and freedom
I wish I see this video 2 years ago.
Lesson learned = if you are a man never get married . Not in US.
Marriage is basically a right given to women to make a man bankrupt supported by corrupt laws made by attorneys
Yep.
I'm currently courting a young lady, and these videos have helped me choose a partner, and looking for early signs to maximize my soon to be marriage.
Drummergeorge what is the purpose of this relationship?
Bryan Adams Not sure what you mean, but I believe a de facto relationship
Drummergeorge what is the goal of the relationship. The ultimate purpose of it. Is it just to scratch each other's back? If it is conditional it will not go well. So many marriages are like that. Thus why you see the high divorce rate.
Mgtow look it up I may have just stay in your financial future
Sunrise Hoodie has a good channel on TH-cam. Check him out sometime.
She’s definitely nailing another dude behind his back.
She’s calling trying to get her money in place, the goal, her goal at least, is not to fix the marriage or turn the corner on it. And it’s irresponsible to say without really knowing what’s going on that saving the marriage would be the best outcome.
This man really cares.
BOTTOM LINE GUYS:
NEVER SIGN A CONTRACT WHERE THE WOMAN GETS REWARDED FOR BREAKING IT!!!!
Sell the dog and deliver pizzas?
I understand that student loan debt belongs to the person who signed the conttract and took it out.
Sad situation, everyone but the lawyers win in the end....The husband shouldn't be obligated to pay her student loan debt if that is what she was hoping for, no dang way.
marriage itself is a business transaction. divorce doesn't turn it to a transaction. divorce is cashing out the business.
Yes. Divorce becomes transactional. Why have such a large student loan making $50k?
I don't understand what makes you think that because someone is a " pastor"... Automatically becomes an expert in any thing
Why does Dave encourage marriage and counseling? I have been through both and they don't work. 60 % of marriages fail - 85 % fail if the women has a college degree. Dave should at least encourage a rock solid pre-nup on all marriages.
Marriage is a one sided business contract.
@George Sontag where did you get your statistics? I'm just curious at how you arrived at your percentages.
Daves been married for 100 years, he doesn't understand what these women are nowadays
@@amyrussell860 Google. The stats are out there for all to see.
It;s the Christian side of him.
She cheated
Ali money is complete BS, if you are an able bodied person, you are capable of taking care of yourself
Alimony is about lifestyle, not survival. People seemingly have no idea what marriage actually entails.
Sounds. like the husband was propping her up. She will be like most divorce women. Broke and struggling. Still trying to live off the man.
Divorce is extremely bad and shameful no matter what the circumstances are. Those who had to divorce showed extreme stupidity to have married their bad spouses in the first place.
bluemountain555 Someone has on their judgy pants this morning.
Albert Einstein Why does “Albert Einstein” have to use the same word twice to describe a ignorant person.
Amen bluemountain555. Awkwardly blunt, just like I would have said it.
You must be like 17. 😅
Nobody marries with a plan for divorce
Why does she get alimony, why doesn't he?
If he earned more and kept her in a certain lifestyle, he's likely to pay alimony. Why do so many people not understand what marriage actually is?
concerning she has 160k in student loan debt and a job paying only 50k/yr.
Im sorry but just take your life and move on. You cant leave the job and still get paid for it. Split things down the middle and move on
Reginald R
Depends on how the husband will react when the bluffing and threats begin.
Something simple can turn into a big mess.
You don't understand what marriage actually is if that's your take.
This is why I stand at odds with Dave on marriage. If your going to financially invest with someone, why force the government into every other aspect of the finances.
Wanted to divorce. Husband is financially abusive (among other things). Couldn't get any college education. Put us in a rural area - nearest neighbor is distant. He held all the money and vehicles. Refused to divorce. Put us into debt so that I "couldn't get any of his money". Can't afford any lawyers. Just waiting for the youngest to leave the nest. I don't want to be rich. I just want out.
Did you get out?
Take some ownership here. You didn't have to move to a rural area with him and you don't need his permission to divorce.
Best thing is just don’t get married. Not worth it now days. Most women only want a free ride off the guy anymore.
And don't live them either.
The average American male makes 48k. Lol most wives work
Please
Most married couples are in two-income households, and studies show that married men are much happier than married women, as are single women.
Lemme get this straight. He makes 1.5 times she makes but she’s divorcing him b/c of money? Okay
ominous450 It doeentvmatter if he MAKES more!! So if he spendsvit all and refuses to budget and save causing neglect to her how can that be beingva good spouse?
well she’s probably hoping to steal some of it in court
@@theplaintiff5450if you're married, it's not stealing...... marriage is a legal financial arrangement 🙄
She gets alimony but does he get alimony? Why does she deserve alimony? If she has kids fine, have him pay child support, but she is old and if she has kids they are 18+
You don't understand what marriage is, apparently. It's a contract full of rights and responsibilities. Has nothing to do with kids. You're thinking of child support.
@@RepentImmediately changed my typo. Supposed to be if*
@@RepentImmediately husband smart though putting nothing into the mortgage. House is barely worth anything lol
I found out a marriage becomes a contract the day you jump the broom