I have never read this book, yet I stumbled upon this video, and I am so glad I clicked on it. Never have I related to something so much in my life. I'm 22, and my whole life after graduating highschool has been figuring out my path. I have so much I want to achieve and so many dreams I want to accomplish. There are so many paths, yet I can't seem to see any of them clearly. And sometimes I feel like time is slipping away each day, and there's so much I thought I would have by now. But I remind myself that it isn't too late and I'll get there. I'll achieve those dreams, no matter how unconventional or big they are. Thank you for making this video.
I was feeling distressed and overwhelmed. After watching this video of yours I feel a different kind of peace. I don't really know how to explain it. It's amazing how deeply you have felt this. I am sorry that you had to go through bullying. Thank you for making this video.
Thank you for sharing that. I'm glad the video offered some peace. It means a lot! And thanks for the kind words-it’s a bummer so many of us have to go through hardships.
I hope you continue to keep on making videos, I didn't expect quality of this caliber from a small channel. This video encapsulated everything I've felt as someone coming off from high school and going to university, and conveyed in the form that was mesmerizing and digestible.
This was precisely the video I needed to see this morning. Thank you. The fig analogy is my life right now. I’m 27 and it feels like the figs are starting to wrinkle. Edit: And oh my god. The growing up gay, feeling shame, even the dream of being an orthopedic surgeon to validate smartness, my craving of status and legitimacy in order to validate my self. I’ve never felt so seen. Edit 2: ok I actually finished it. Thank you for this. I can’t express how badly I needed this entire video. I’m just gonna free-write my thoughts now lol. I have been working towards a goal of working in clinical research for the last 7 years. For undergrad I went to a scandal-fraught institution that eroded my feelings of legitimacy, but in the last few months I actually got a job in research at one of the most prestigious hospitals in the world…and yet. I am still myself. Everything I’ve fled from or masked or avoided is still here, it’s still a part of my life. I’ve habituated my fear of illegitimacy and my use of discontent as fuel to my will to change that I feel like I’ve allowed my ability to practice contentment to atrophy. I’m realizing that I cant make good or bad decisions, I simply have to choose my consequence, and develop the agility and resilience to handle the consequence as it comes. I can’t make a decision to make everyone happy, and by making the decision that makes me happiest I will also spread that joy to those who really love me and want to see me thrive. And also every decision is an opportunity to change and grow. And every place is the right place, even the places that feel horrible and wrong, because the growth that can occur will later be revealed to have been the point all along.
Wow, first off, I'm so touched this video resonated with you--it's really heart-warming and encouraging to hear. Also, thank you for taking the time to watch and to free write! I'm wishing you all the best! :) (Also, it's crazy to think that you as well had such a similar experience. I do think that there's really something to be said about having to prove oneself growing up closeted/gay, and that unnerving feeling of having to overcompensate.)
Your video is amazing, you def deserve more attention! this feeling has haunted me since graduating hs, Sylvia Plath described the dread and horror of it perfectly and you managed to soothe it, by making people feel not alone and bringing us to think about what really matters on our day to day. It’s not easy living in a world that wants to capitalize us and keeps us thinking about success instead of happiness.
Wow this video really left a deep impression on me. I’m 21, turning 22 and I just graduated from my bachelors, at my wits end on what I want to pursue and if the decisions I’ve been making so far have been the right ones. I feel like I’m so disconnected from my ‘true’ self to the point where I don’t know what I want to do and what would bring me true joy and contentment. The pressure of meeting people’s expectations of me has been burdening me since childhood, and I still feel the weight of it to this day. Thank you for your insight, and for helping me realise that my identity is not grounded in my decisions. No matter what path I choose to take, I’m still me (as cheesy as that phrase is). Being paralysed by the thought of making the ‘perfect choice’ is something that I think will continue to plague young people, especially with society’s obsession with making whatever passion you may have into a lucrative career, so it’s good to spread this message. Thank you again.
Thank you for taking the time to comment as well as share your story! And wow, I'm glad to hear this left a deep impression with you. (And I think being cheesy is fine sometimes ha.) 100 percent agree with you that there's a cultural obsession to turn one's passions into a career. It's only been until recent years that I've learned to just let my hobbies be hobbies! Anyway, wishing you the best on your journey. :)
I REALLY LOVE THIS CINEMATIC EXPERIENCE AND THE WAY YOU PUT IT INTO WORDS. I REALLY FELT WHAT YOU FEEL AND IT IS SO DEEP, SO BEAUTIFULLY INSPIRING. I studied medicine just to see what my abilities can do and it turns out i don't like it at all. I just chose medicine to validate myself and also my family, as time goes by it slowly ruins my whole being because the things that I want to be was never gonna provide me for my every day life and it still haunts me.
Thank you for the kind words and taking the time to watch--I appreciate it! I'll have to agree that it's tough when the expectations we set for ourselves-or that others set for us-don't align with what truly fulfills us. My hope is that you'll be able to continue looking for ways in your life outside of medicine to gradually get closer to healing your being. Best, Levi
Thank you for making and sharing such a beautiful video and message. Everything you said deeply resonated with me- I tried to be the best at everything and achieve everything in order to find some sort of salvation from where I came from and who I am. It worked for a while but it wasn’t long before I began to suffer underneath the pressure and high bars I’ve set for myself. I told myself I was a good student, then nearly failed a class, told myself I was a writer and didn’t write much for a year. When I first read the bell jar this may, the fig tree hit me like a fright train and I’ve been reflecting on it ever since. I felt helpless watching all the aspects of my constructed identity I clung on to turn to dust. Since then, I’ve come to view the fallen figs as nourishment for whatever life you naturally step into next, taking the hope or the drive from one thing and applying it to my current circumstances, not letting the fig fall in vain. The unrealized dreams still have meaning, otherwise you wouldn’t have dreamt them in the first place. You always have time to start over and create something new. Looking forward to watching more of your videos and what you do next. Keep up the good work!
Well said! 100 percent agree with the sentiment that our unrealized dreams continue to hold meaning. Thank you for the kind words, as well as sharing your experience. :)
i felt a similar visceral reaction when i first read the same passage about figs from the bell jar, it was a indescribable feeling i am totally in awe with the way you voiced your thoughts , it was gorgeous ,truly riveting
Thank you. Your video was wonderful, I even saved it to watch more times and make notes about it. This isn't just about a fig tree, it's about who we choose to be.
I just finished the bell jar today and have struggled with academic validation my whole life as a dyslexic kid. This is such a great commentary on the poem that like you said haunts people (i am people) still today. You are a gifted artist and this is beautifully said.
What a kind video. Thank you for taking time to articulate and share. The yearning toward other potential identities is something a past self has felt so deeply. Such a dreadful feeling when in decision paralysis, particularly when the need to achieve status and adequacy is involved. The thought of identity being temporal and in constantly in flux feels so reassuring. love more that it can come through intention, focus and love itself. Hope you have a beautiful day
Wow, thank you so much--this made my day! I appreciate you taking the time to watch my video and write out such a thorough response! I hope you have a wonderful day, too! :)
I stumbled upon this video. I had a pretty difficult time the paste days, because I am going through a lot of changes and your words were excactly what I needed to hear today! Thank you!
The fig analogy is my Roman Empire, but no one knows what I'm referencing. I first read The Bell Jar at 16 and then 20. I'll probably reread it again soon. It changes my perspective every time, but I still fear the figs.
In the movie, Sylvia, the fig tree analogy is paraphrased if I am not mistaken…? 🤔 Either that or it’s an entirely different poem. I remember in the movie… two branches of a tree, one branch being the life of a poet and each leaf on that branch being a poem, and the other branch being the branch of motherhood, and its leaves being children. And having to choose between the two lives/branches. And taking too long to choose, and the leaves began to wither. Similar to your experience, the Sylvia movie version of the analogy haunts me to this day. Can anyone tell me, is there a second poem of withering leaves or did they just alter the fig analogy for the movie? I can’t seem to find this out on the internet. Okay, I’m back, and Google helped me find the movie quote: “Sometimes I dream the tree, and the tree is my life. One branch is the man I shall marry, and the leaves my children. Another branch is my future as a writer, and each leaf is a poem. Another branch is a good academic career. But as I sit there trying to choose, the leaves bring to turn brown and blow away, until the tree is absolutely bare.” It seems like they paraphrased the fig analogy for brevity or something. Either way, the imagery is powerful.
I haven’t seen or heard of the film, Sylvia, until you mentioned it. I’ll have to check it out! Thanks for looking into that! Interesting how they paraphrased the passage from The Bell Jar. Nevertheless, I agree that the sentiment behind it is quite powerful. Anyway, thanks for watching and commenting! :)
im currently in my third year of medical college, and i've never seen the worst of my afflictions that has been living in the corner of my eye since i dont know how long being laid bare, naked like this. i never had an ardent passion for treating people and medicine as such, i was drawn to it for reasons similar as yours, for the status, for the money. but lately as i have been wading progressively through my degree it's being made visible to me that one day i'd too have to bear the weight of having to decide. it just kills me to even think about it. you earned a lifelong subscriber.
Wow, thank you so much for sharing! And glad to have you here! :) Those moments of decision truly are heavy, and yet there's also something liberating in finally making a choice, too. Hopefully this video helped with easing that burden somewhat!
you just described so many emotions I've always felt but could never quite put into words. you seem like the type of person I would love to sit at a cafe and talk about life with hahaha. this was such a great and beautifully crafted video :)
I’m so glad to hear this! Thank you for the kind words, as well as taking the time to watch and comment-I appreciate it! (Also, sitting in cafes and philosophizing with friends is one of my favorite activities, ha! :))
Levi!!! this video was really lovely, where do you find your copyright free music? I am just starting youtube and have been struggling to find some good piano style music and I loved every song you have here. great job, seriously. wonderful analysis :)
I have never read this book, yet I stumbled upon this video, and I am so glad I clicked on it. Never have I related to something so much in my life. I'm 22, and my whole life after graduating highschool has been figuring out my path. I have so much I want to achieve and so many dreams I want to accomplish. There are so many paths, yet I can't seem to see any of them clearly. And sometimes I feel like time is slipping away each day, and there's so much I thought I would have by now. But I remind myself that it isn't too late and I'll get there. I'll achieve those dreams, no matter how unconventional or big they are.
Thank you for making this video.
Thank you for sharing your story and taking the time to watch--I wish you the best of luck on your journey! :)
I was feeling distressed and overwhelmed. After watching this video of yours I feel a different kind of peace. I don't really know how to explain it. It's amazing how deeply you have felt this. I am sorry that you had to go through bullying. Thank you for making this video.
Thank you for sharing that. I'm glad the video offered some peace. It means a lot! And thanks for the kind words-it’s a bummer so many of us have to go through hardships.
I hope you continue to keep on making videos, I didn't expect quality of this caliber from a small channel. This video encapsulated everything I've felt as someone coming off from high school and going to university, and conveyed in the form that was mesmerizing and digestible.
Thank you for the kind words and taking the time to watch! Creating videos has definitely been rewarding thus far :)
This was precisely the video I needed to see this morning. Thank you. The fig analogy is my life right now. I’m 27 and it feels like the figs are starting to wrinkle.
Edit: And oh my god. The growing up gay, feeling shame, even the dream of being an orthopedic surgeon to validate smartness, my craving of status and legitimacy in order to validate my self. I’ve never felt so seen.
Edit 2: ok I actually finished it. Thank you for this. I can’t express how badly I needed this entire video. I’m just gonna free-write my thoughts now lol.
I have been working towards a goal of working in clinical research for the last 7 years. For undergrad I went to a scandal-fraught institution that eroded my feelings of legitimacy, but in the last few months I actually got a job in research at one of the most prestigious hospitals in the world…and yet. I am still myself. Everything I’ve fled from or masked or avoided is still here, it’s still a part of my life. I’ve habituated my fear of illegitimacy and my use of discontent as fuel to my will to change that I feel like I’ve allowed my ability to practice contentment to atrophy. I’m realizing that I cant make good or bad decisions, I simply have to choose my consequence, and develop the agility and resilience to handle the consequence as it comes. I can’t make a decision to make everyone happy, and by making the decision that makes me happiest I will also spread that joy to those who really love me and want to see me thrive. And also every decision is an opportunity to change and grow. And every place is the right place, even the places that feel horrible and wrong, because the growth that can occur will later be revealed to have been the point all along.
Wow, first off, I'm so touched this video resonated with you--it's really heart-warming and encouraging to hear. Also, thank you for taking the time to watch and to free write! I'm wishing you all the best! :)
(Also, it's crazy to think that you as well had such a similar experience. I do think that there's really something to be said about having to prove oneself growing up closeted/gay, and that unnerving feeling of having to overcompensate.)
Your video is amazing, you def deserve more attention! this feeling has haunted me since graduating hs, Sylvia Plath described the dread and horror of it perfectly and you managed to soothe it, by making people feel not alone and bringing us to think about what really matters on our day to day. It’s not easy living in a world that wants to capitalize us and keeps us thinking about success instead of happiness.
Thank you! I’m happy to hear this video resonated with you.
Wow this video really left a deep impression on me. I’m 21, turning 22 and I just graduated from my bachelors, at my wits end on what I want to pursue and if the decisions I’ve been making so far have been the right ones. I feel like I’m so disconnected from my ‘true’ self to the point where I don’t know what I want to do and what would bring me true joy and contentment. The pressure of meeting people’s expectations of me has been burdening me since childhood, and I still feel the weight of it to this day.
Thank you for your insight, and for helping me realise that my identity is not grounded in my decisions. No matter what path I choose to take, I’m still me (as cheesy as that phrase is). Being paralysed by the thought of making the ‘perfect choice’ is something that I think will continue to plague young people, especially with society’s obsession with making whatever passion you may have into a lucrative career, so it’s good to spread this message. Thank you again.
Thank you for taking the time to comment as well as share your story! And wow, I'm glad to hear this left a deep impression with you. (And I think being cheesy is fine sometimes ha.)
100 percent agree with you that there's a cultural obsession to turn one's passions into a career. It's only been until recent years that I've learned to just let my hobbies be hobbies!
Anyway, wishing you the best on your journey. :)
I REALLY LOVE THIS CINEMATIC EXPERIENCE AND THE WAY YOU PUT IT INTO WORDS. I REALLY FELT WHAT YOU FEEL AND IT IS SO DEEP, SO BEAUTIFULLY INSPIRING.
I studied medicine just to see what my abilities can do and it turns out i don't like it at all. I just chose medicine to validate myself and also my family, as time goes by it slowly ruins my whole being because the things that I want to be was never gonna provide me for my every day life and it still haunts me.
Thank you for the kind words and taking the time to watch--I appreciate it!
I'll have to agree that it's tough when the expectations we set for ourselves-or that others set for us-don't align with what truly fulfills us. My hope is that you'll be able to continue looking for ways in your life outside of medicine to gradually get closer to healing your being.
Best,
Levi
Thank you for making and sharing such a beautiful video and message. Everything you said deeply resonated with me- I tried to be the best at everything and achieve everything in order to find some sort of salvation from where I came from and who I am. It worked for a while but it wasn’t long before I began to suffer underneath the pressure and high bars I’ve set for myself. I told myself I was a good student, then nearly failed a class, told myself I was a writer and didn’t write much for a year. When I first read the bell jar this may, the fig tree hit me like a fright train and I’ve been reflecting on it ever since. I felt helpless watching all the aspects of my constructed identity I clung on to turn to dust. Since then, I’ve come to view the fallen figs as nourishment for whatever life you naturally step into next, taking the hope or the drive from one thing and applying it to my current circumstances, not letting the fig fall in vain. The unrealized dreams still have meaning, otherwise you wouldn’t have dreamt them in the first place. You always have time to start over and create something new.
Looking forward to watching more of your videos and what you do next. Keep up the good work!
Well said! 100 percent agree with the sentiment that our unrealized dreams continue to hold meaning. Thank you for the kind words, as well as sharing your experience. :)
i felt a similar visceral reaction when i first read the same passage about figs from the bell jar,
it was a indescribable feeling
i am totally in awe with the way you voiced your thoughts ,
it was gorgeous ,truly riveting
thank you!
Your cinematography and insights will haunt me as the book haunted you, thank you for this masterpiece!! Can’t wait for the day your work blows up
Wow, thank you for the kind words--I really appreciate it! :)
Thank you. Your video was wonderful, I even saved it to watch more times and make notes about it. This isn't just about a fig tree, it's about who we choose to be.
Thank you for watching and saving--I appreciate it! And 100 percent agree!
I just finished the bell jar today and have struggled with academic validation my whole life as a dyslexic kid. This is such a great commentary on the poem that like you said haunts people (i am people) still today. You are a gifted artist and this is beautifully said.
Thank you for sharing a snippet of how this resonated with you, and thank you so much for the kind words! I appreciate it! :)
this is such a beautiful and powerful video; thank you
Thank you for watching!
What a kind video. Thank you for taking time to articulate and share. The yearning toward other potential identities is something a past self has felt so deeply. Such a dreadful feeling when in decision paralysis, particularly when the need to achieve status and adequacy is involved. The thought of identity being temporal and in constantly in flux feels so reassuring. love more that it can come through intention, focus and love itself. Hope you have a beautiful day
Wow, thank you so much--this made my day! I appreciate you taking the time to watch my video and write out such a thorough response! I hope you have a wonderful day, too! :)
I loved this video the analogy, your story is so relatable ❤❤
Thank you so much!!
Thanks for this lovely video, and the shots of Knight Library, the coast, and the Willamette.
Thanks for watching! And you bet--Oregon is such a beautiful place! :)
You've earned yourself a subscriber! Such a comprehensive video and so so personal. Rooting for you dude
Thanks for watching and subscribing! I appreciate the support! :)
I stumbled upon this video. I had a pretty difficult time the paste days, because I am going through a lot of changes and your words were excactly what I needed to hear today! Thank you!
I wish you the best of luck! I'm glad to hear that my words resonated with you.
Also, thank you for taking the time to watch! :)
The fig analogy is my Roman Empire, but no one knows what I'm referencing. I first read The Bell Jar at 16 and then 20. I'll probably reread it again soon. It changes my perspective every time, but I still fear the figs.
It's such a great novel to revisit at different points in one's life!
You're one eloquent person. Subbed.
Thank you so much!
your filmmaking is amazing and you seem so intelligent, kind and humble
Thank you so much for the kind words! I appreciate it!
DUDE I LOVE THE WAY YOU FRAMED EVERYTHING
love ya ^^
thanks for watching!
A genuinely good video, thank you for the commentary!
Thank you so much for watching!
Really lovely video! Thanks for that! ❤
Thank you so much! :)
This is beautiful, thank you for these insights!
Thank you! I appreciate it, and I'm glad you enjoyed. :)
Beautiful video man
thanks for watching!
This relates so heavily to Michelle Yeoh's character Evelyn in Everything Everywhere All At Once
Thank you for this! I needed it. Your insights are brilliant.
Thank you for watching!
no way you've 18 subs. thats crazy to me, cause this video was so good!!
Thank you for the kind words-I appreciate it!!
In the movie, Sylvia, the fig tree analogy is paraphrased if I am not mistaken…? 🤔 Either that or it’s an entirely different poem. I remember in the movie… two branches of a tree, one branch being the life of a poet and each leaf on that branch being a poem, and the other branch being the branch of motherhood, and its leaves being children. And having to choose between the two lives/branches. And taking too long to choose, and the leaves began to wither.
Similar to your experience, the Sylvia movie version of the analogy haunts me to this day.
Can anyone tell me, is there a second poem of withering leaves or did they just alter the fig analogy for the movie? I can’t seem to find this out on the internet.
Okay, I’m back, and Google helped me find the movie quote:
“Sometimes I dream the tree, and the tree is my life. One branch is the man I shall marry, and the leaves my children. Another branch is my future as a writer, and each leaf is a poem. Another branch is a good academic career. But as I sit there trying to choose, the leaves bring to turn brown and blow away, until the tree is absolutely bare.”
It seems like they paraphrased the fig analogy for brevity or something. Either way, the imagery is powerful.
I haven’t seen or heard of the film, Sylvia, until you mentioned it. I’ll have to check it out!
Thanks for looking into that! Interesting how they paraphrased the passage from The Bell Jar. Nevertheless, I agree that the sentiment behind it is quite powerful.
Anyway, thanks for watching and commenting! :)
This is amazing, thank you.
Thank you! I appreciate it!
Thank you for this!
Thank you for watching! 🙏🏼
im currently in my third year of medical college, and i've never seen the worst of my afflictions that has been living in the corner of my eye since i dont know how long being laid bare, naked like this. i never had an ardent passion for treating people and medicine as such, i was drawn to it for reasons similar as yours, for the status, for the money. but lately as i have been wading progressively through my degree it's being made visible to me that one day i'd too have to bear the weight of having to decide. it just kills me to even think about it. you earned a lifelong subscriber.
Wow, thank you so much for sharing! And glad to have you here! :)
Those moments of decision truly are heavy, and yet there's also something liberating in finally making a choice, too. Hopefully this video helped with easing that burden somewhat!
Beautiful work, and personally helpful (… FRUITful, even😉). Thx
Thanks for watching--I appreciate it! :)
this video slaps ultra hard, I LOVE EXISTENTIAL CONFRONTATION!!!!! 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
The grass is greener if you warer it:))
:)
you just described so many emotions I've always felt but could never quite put into words. you seem like the type of person I would love to sit at a cafe and talk about life with hahaha. this was such a great and beautifully crafted video :)
I’m so glad to hear this! Thank you for the kind words, as well as taking the time to watch and comment-I appreciate it!
(Also, sitting in cafes and philosophizing with friends is one of my favorite activities, ha! :))
Brilliant. I subscribed
Thanks so much! Glad to have you here! :)
@levmast I was just thinking about this book when your video appeared 🪄
what a phenomenal fucking video im in awe
Thank you!
Levi!!! this video was really lovely, where do you find your copyright free music? I am just starting youtube and have been struggling to find some good piano style music and I loved every song you have here. great job, seriously. wonderful analysis :)
Thank you for watching--I appreciate it! :) I use Epidemic Sound for my music.
Thankyou for this
I was loosing hope but ig it's okay
Wow ❤
Thanks for watching!
She copied the idea behind that analogy from Either/Or by Soren Kierkegaard
I can certainly see the influence of Kierkegaard on The Bell Jar!
ONGST
my fave way to pronounce it!