My Aspergers Diagnosis Journey: Part 2 - Revelation
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- PART 2:
In this video I share a magical moment in my aspergers story. The big revelation came, not receiving an asd diagnosis, but by meeting other people on the spectrum.
SHARE YOUR STORY:
I'm compiling stories for a special project at the end of the month.
If you'd like to share your diagnosis story too please message me at aspergersfromtheinside@gmail.com :)
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// WELCOME TO ASPERGERS FROM THE INSIDE!!
My name is Paul and I discovered I have Aspergers at age 30.
If you're new you can check out a playlist of some of my most popular videos here: / aspergersfromtheinside
Yes, I know, I don't look autistic. That's exactly why I started this blog, because if I didn't show you, you would never know.
As the name suggests, this channel is devoted to giving you insight into the world of Aspergers.
This blog started off being just my story, but I've learned SO MUCH about my own condition
from meeting others on the Autism Spectrum that now I make sure to feature their stories as well.
I've come a long way in my own personal journey.
Now I'm sharing what I've found so you don't have to learn it the hard way too.
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// WHAT TO EXPECT FROM THIS BLOG
I value your time which means there are NO TH-cam ADS on my videos.
You can expect me to get the the point with concise useful information.
I focus on what is most important and don't shy away from difficult topics.
The best way to learn about Autism is to see it in real life ( i.e. via the stories of many, many people on the spectrum).
In this channel I endeavour to show you what Autism and Aspergers look like in real people and to also give you some insight as to what's happening on the inside.
I upload a new video every weekend with some bonus content thrown in mid-week too.
There's always new stuff coming through so be sure to check back and see what you've missed. (Is this where I'm supposed to tell you to hit that subscribe button?)
Topics Include:
- What is Aspergers/Autism?
- Aspie Tips, coping strategies, and advice on common issues
- Learning Emotional Intelligence (this is my special interest!)
- Autism in real life: stories from special guests
Everything I do is and endeavour to go deeper and take you 'behind the scenes' to understand what may, at first glance, seem 'odd'.
oh, and I love busting stereotypes and turning preconceptions upsidedown :)
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// ABOUT ME
I discovered I have aspergers at the age of thrity.
It has been my life's mission to understand these funny creatures we call humans.
My special interest is a combination of emotional intelligence, psychology, neuroscience, thinking styles, behaviour, and motivation. (I.e. what makes people tick)
My background is in engineering and I see the world in systems to be analysed.
My passion is for taking the incredibly complex, deciphering the pattern, and explaining it very simply.
My philosophy is that blogging is an adventure best shared.
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// EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE TRAINING
I also run autism friendly online emotional intelligence training. So if you like my direct, systematic style, and would like to improve your own emotional intelligence skills, check it out here:
emotionsexplain...
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// CONTACT
Blogging is an adventure best shared which means I'd love to hear from you!
Feel free to leave me a comment or send me and email at any time and I'll do my best to respond promptly.
Email: aspergersfromtheinside@gmail.com
Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy this channel!
I look forward to hearing from you!
Peace,
~Paul
Would you like to share your diagnosis story too?
I'm compiling stories for a special project at the end of the month.
To be involved simply message me or reply to this comment and I'll give you more info! :)
Love to....
I am going through the process of diagnosis now. See my channel to find out a little about me.
I really wanted to watch and absorb your 2 videos... But my vacillation from intense focus to complete distraction controls me.
Thanks for trying....
I'm processing. Labels can be used to abuse.
Your story is fascinating. I have worked with folks who have autism, asbergurs etc. Folks like me need to hear from folks like you. I’m retired now but still have contact with folks I have supported. I would love to hear thatfolks like you were sharing your story who need these insights.
It hurts when people perceive you as emotionless or robot like, when in fact your overburdened with emotion and feeling. I'm often accused of this and it hurts me very much.
My mother told me I was switched at birth with a Russian baby because I'm so cold. Alls I could think was that she didn't know me at all.
I understand you. I'm with you in this!
Same with the difference between a self-centered generosity (ASD) and a social awareness of others paired with a selfish manipulation of the latter in the aim of taking one's own advantage (NTs)
But one can have one's short kind of shutdown out of fatigue. I do. I am no longer there mentally, emotionally: i am resting in fact. This is rare by me, but it is taken as an offense. Better social withdrawal then.
OMG. I am in my early 70's. I am a professional graphic designer, (still employed, lol) and I have enjoyed a long, beautiful, healthy life, while wondering from time to time if I am on the spectrum. I connect organically with things like your "semi-circle" and being told it was a "half-circle", or your division of the rectangle diagonally. I did the exact same thing, with the same exact results! Anyway, an even earlier indicator was when I was a toddler and walking in the neighborhood with my mother, she'd say, "Now, Pammy, watch the cars!" and I would stand perfectly still and look at the cars. Then she would say "What are you doing? Let's go!" and I would say "You told me to watch the cars, so that is what I am doing!" The literal interpretation of words. I've been puzzled by difficulties in communication all my life, and you have given me some insight, especially with your personal self-diagnosis, and your intuitive, low-key method of discovery, i.e. the support group. Thank you!
This is so relatable. I have always been "weird". Now I understand why. I am lucky I have found a partner who is also like me. The problem is - if it is a problem - is that we don't care. Naturally our social life is very limited and we rarely go out, but that's not such a problem.
So true. Self isolating is no big deal to me. I have my animals friends.
"You're not crazy....this is actually a real thing..." Very well said! Being misunderstood CONSTANTLY is the life of an Aspie. Excellent video.
Thanks Jean! :)
Amen to that dude. I feel i am misunderstood very very often. I have a real hard time verbally expressing feelings.
I have aspergers and family in australia my grandparents rang me and asked for my bank details and i almost well basiclly broke down because i dont understand the sort code and such
And OMG xD the go to the shops and they dont have what you needed thats a total panic situation for me xD i was diagnosed at ten but basiclly had no support but now im trying to get it
People like me but sometimes when i say something i mean something else but people get the wrong idea and get mad at me
@@daredawg3776 That happens to me many times. Occationally when people understand something else from what I am saying I am going with what they understood if it isn't or doesn't sound offensive.
He seems to me more normal than regular people in a sense of being more humane, kind and smart :)
Just like my dear sweet Dad! Indeed aspies are often knoble and kind people:)
@@unodos4331 VERY MUCH SO!!!!
The popular belief that predominated for YEARS, was that people on the spectrum weren't very emotional or sympathetic.
Which is rubbish!
They feel INCREDIBLY DEEPLY!!!! - 100%
And their ethics are usually impeccable!
I've NEVER met an autistic person that was cruel or deliberately mean. They dont steal, and lying is pointless.
@@BoobooSnafu agreed...100%
@@BoobooSnafu Telling a lie generally needs more social skills than telling the truth. That is why aspies suck at lying. Now about stealing, it depends from the individual yet aspies lower social skills make it more difficult to cover up the action of stealing, so generally aspies avoid it too... most of the time.
@@Peristerygr Hmm🤔....I'd never considered it from a requirement of a certain ammount of social skills.... Perhaps.
I was more in the belief that (and this is quoting only two aspies), "it's pointless, it's wrong",, one even mentioned that "life was hard enough finding the truth, why would I jeopardise it with lying,
I've been told that more often than not, their feelings and thoughs on matters are quite defined... Their opinions and feelings are more black and white - than the average neurotypical person - who by contrast, can have many shades of grey, and they are more likely swayed or tempted by other factors.
A spies know their decision on a matter, and that's that.
But considering what you said - maybe it's not purely ethical standards, maybe it is that they are not as aware of subtle nuances that others are, and calculating exta info I nto it is more trouble than its worth 🤷♀️
I found out I have aspergers a year ago, but every time you talk about your aspie traits, I still want to scream OMG I TOTALLY RELATE TO THIS!!! in my computer. :-D
haha. nice :)
I just did!
This video helped me feel less crazy/alien. Thank you. Keep up the great work.
You're welcome! Glad you can relate :)
Awww 😍 an anime profile picture.
I also have a suspicion that many geniueses were aspies... They dared to think outside the box... They were laser focused... They, many times, had odd social behavior. I'm just saying.
I know this is an old video, but I have to say this. I don’t know if this is a an actual sign that I may be on the spectrum or not, but whenever I’m alone and bored (or feel like procrastinating), I have a tendency to fill the silence by pretending that I’m explaining something to an invisible discussion partner (or that I’m filming a TH-cam video). Unless I’m feeling very physically tired or drowsy, I’ll pace around the room I’m in, usually while flipping a pen or a similarly shaped object into the air. I’ll watch the pen fly up, then I’ll catch it, but I’ll never stop talking. I can go on like this for about an hour and a half before I finally decide to stop and do something else.
Doing this helps me to collect my thoughts and the whole process gives me comfort, especially since I’ll “explain” all the thoughts and feelings I have after a particularly stressful day.
The way that you were pacing around and playing with your ball while explaining your experience reminded me so much of what I just explained. The difference of course being that you were filming a video, while I’m not normally doing anything nearly as productive when I do my “discussions.”
Excellent information. I say there is a fine line between genius and special.
I'm so grateful to people like you for making the penny drop for me. Gracias
I am 34 now, I was diagnosed at 26. I related to so much of what you said. Thanks for sharing.
Do you have a hard time going to bed because you are so engrossed in researching your interests or reading your books?
A Grotta it's almost 4 am and I don't know everything there is to know about autism yet so no sleep for me :)
@@magsdoesnotknow Lol same. I can only sleep by exhausting myself. I usually sleep around 4am too.
Ahhh, YES. It becomes an obsession. Whatever it is.
OR, turn into utter opposite of the prior obsession I discovered was WRONG... 🤔🤷🤦💃🤣
Every day lol, and I'm almost 50. Be careful/mindful, it can take its toll over time.
Everyday!
I have never found my tribe. I have tried, but time has beaten me. Now, I just take each day as it comes. I have read so much and I have run out of energy for people. Online is the only place I 'talk' to others.
I hear ya
Same here. Covid has brought some bonuses!!! Meet more like minded people on line.
I loved that you could explain how it feels.
Listening to this is magical
Thankyou so much for this. What you have described on your channel resonates with me so much
i love the point you make, that you felt understood when you met other aspis. and that this showed you, you are one of them. exactly this i felt when i became a ,,punk,, went to small concerts, same when i started being a bike messenger and met other bike.enthusiasts. a year ago i found out that i have adhd and lots of my friends have the diagnosis. i feel most satisfied hanging out with these people. always fun, lots of energy and humor. you dont have to explain yourself for talking like a waterfall or ,,mean,, jokes.
Ohhh, thank you! I suspect that I'm asperger from university (I studied pedagogy) but never accepted it because i didn't agree with the approach of symptoms. I know i'm different, i know i have to pretend to fit in, but I'm not who the definitions talk about, I agreed to most of the behaviors but i disagreed to the reasons of theses behavior. This made me to feel frustrated and upset about and just decided to keep going on my on, study and survive. Now I can't denied it anymore (because my son seems to be asperger aswell, and I want him to be happy and free, so better change the point of view and open eyes to the world. Thank you!
This is great and informative. Thanks so much for sharing your story. I'm very happy for you.
OMG! You talked about joining a local support group. You talked about them asking the question: "What do you do if you go to the supermarket to buy something for someone but what you need to buy isn't there?" That is so triggering for me, in a good way. Then you go on to talk about strategies you developed. I so identify with this.
I really appreciate your honesty and your channel.
I ,too, would read about autism early on in my journey of learning and I would say "No ... that's not what is really happening." I mean I was already doubting the mainstream understanding of autism and realizing that I understood the inner workings in many cases better than the experts. I mean I am one of those Aspies that assimilates information well... despite being clueless in certain areas of life.
I live the enigma every day of my life. But, of course, few , if any, people believe that I know what I am talking about. I am alone in my understanding ...but the accepted science will catch up eventually....lol
I don't think i am an aspie, but because of the number of people in my life who are, I definitely Speak aspie.
Thank you so much for the help brother.
yeah you do the same aas me, and animate loads when talking, but this was your best delivery yet!, awesome
Loz Turner me too! I need to find some gadget for myself, because I usually walk around and touch my face. Either bring my hand to my chin as someone would when they're thinking, or touhing my eye or pulling my cheek or lip. Or twiddling with my hair. I bet it looks pretty stupid to other people. I tried fidget spinner but I get bored with it very quickly.
My husband told me that he and his mother had talked about my Aspergers few years ago. At that point I had visited my in laws few times and apparently they had noticed something about me. Every time I went outside, I did the same routine. I would walk from the kitchen to the bedroom, touch certain item, walk in to the bathroom, wash my hands or brush my hair, walk back to the kitchen, lean to the kitchen table, go back to the bedroom and touch the same item... I had not realized this myself. Apparently I did it a lot and my mother-in-law, who is very observational, could predict where I would go and what I would do. I thought I just pace around or fidget randomly when I'm nervous, but apparently there is some method to it.
Recently me and my husband have talked about the way I phrase things. What was most surprising to me, that for years he has thought I mean something totally different from what I actually say. Like that supermarket thing for example. If he had asked me to buy a specific item and the store didn't have that item, I would try to call my husband to ask what to buy instead if buy anything. If he doesn't answer, I have to make some sort of decision. If I have no idea what to subsitude the item with, I don't buy anything. So I get home and hubby asks "where is it?" I say that I was unable to figure out what to buy. That I tried to call him and ask what to do, but he didn't answer. My husband has thought that I am being a cunt. "You didn't answer my call so out of spite I didn't bring you that thing you asked for" - type of cunt. Apparently he really doesn't get that I am actually unable to make decisions like that, he thinks I am being difficult. The conclusions he has drawn are weird to me. Are other, normal people really that petty, so passive aggressive? If they are, that is sad. I have tried to tell my husband that I actually mean what I say. Almost without exception. I have said this many times but for some reason he doesn't believe me. He sometimes insists some weird, dark hidden meanings to my behavior and to the words I have said. I think because he is very insecure person sometimes. He is the kind of person who people instantly love or get annoyed by, and often he worries that people secretly hate him. I get that because people don't say that to your face, that they don't like you. But nothing I have ever done should indicate that I can't be trusted or believed. I am incapable of lying, especially about the little things, how come he hasn't figured that out already?
And what does it all mean? Does it say something about me that I insist I am being honest and people don't believe me. Does it say something about other people? Are other people so dishonest and petty and that's why is logical to think that I am too. Or does it say something about the person who doubts or constantly misunderstands me? Are they insecure or are they projecting their behavior onto me?
Thanks! :)
Very, very helpful Paul. Easy to listen to and understand. So insightful.
I feel the same way, I discovered that maybe there was a reason I felt different, and maybe I'm not crazy, but I'm so broke that I can hardly afford to eat, let alone spend gas to go see other aspies in person or get a diagnosis. I'm so torn about it all...
Call a group anyway. Explain your situation and ask if there was any way someone could pick you up and bring you to a group meeting. I’m sure they would make arrangements for you somehow
can you make a video where you talk about your stradegies for stuff?
We haven't any official diagnosis. But my husband and I have always suspected that he has aspergers. Everything you've explained is spot on.
Take it as a compliment if people utter disbelief. It only speaks for your coping/ the high-functionality of your condition.
Thank you for making this set of videos!
the moment i started being convinced i had asperger is when i realized i could relates to some of the "weird things" that are done by stereotypical autistic people depicted in fiction. like hitting your head against a wall, i couldn't explain it in words, but i just feel how it can bring relief.
later down the line, i met a psychologist with my mother, retraced my life from pregnancy to current time, and he told me many signs were clearly visible even today.
Thank you for sharing this
Yeah, I fought it with my pride until my dad said we are going to the doctor and having passed through the upper layers of hell from getting used and abused at my first job.
l've been thinking about the Tribe thing a lot...l feel like l don't belong anywhere than in my own home, garden or shopping. At least l love shopping enuf that it pulls me out of my shell. l was the sensitive, insecure, middle child. But l was also abused as a child too. So l felt like l didn't always fit in my own family. l became a bit of a teen rebel...whilst retaining my vulnerability. l people please and even lose myself in others...l have Aspie like, with Borderlinish, C-PTSD qualities. There is no one else like me and l do get lonely...but there's always my Son, my Dog and Cats and my phone for company...l also believe in the Lord and sometimes, some of us, are meant to have seasons alone with just our Savior. Help me Jesus!
I liked how he caught himself doing something neurodiverse "I'm rambling a bit..." and then acknowledged its legitimacy "but that's okay." That was an aspie moment!
Haley Howell made me tear up man
my 2 year old was diagnosed before his 2nd birthday but i was told that they don't like to place them into labels like high functioning or low functioning, so now im sitting here just guessing what to do and thankfully im very good at sensing what people around me are feeling. when my son is getting angry or sad and no one else notices because he is just quietly rocking back and forward i know what hes feeling and im very quick to find out whats causing it and end it. my son hand flaps tip toes screams in a very high pitch voice hits his head with his hand or objects has trouble reading social ques like when someone is done playing or someone got offended, he really likes smelling me and touching me but doesn't like it when its done back to him. he's very quick to learn words he just wont talk unless hes in the mood. he is 2 years old and can count to 25 recite his abc's name over 10 colors and 85% of all existing animals plus 6 different dinosaurs. hes very good at saying bye , hello how are you, im good how are you, lets go, thank you, and youre welcome and expects everyone else to be as polite. i love my son, just the way he is. he loves to make people laugh even going as far as hurting himself just to see people happy, he jokes and pranks and is always trying to learn something new. i dont wish my son was normal because have you guys met normal people? i dont like them i like our version of normal. i like singing what i do everyday so my son learns it i love teaching him through play. this is our life and none of us would have it any other way.
The other benefit to having an autism diagnosis (in the United states) is that the cost of certain therapies can be covered by insurance if you have an official diagnosis. But I feel as though when people are very high functioning on the spectrum it may be hard to get that diagnosis, and you might have to be evaluated by different professionals before someone agrees.
Very interesting 😊😊😊😊
I love this video, but when I went to give a thumbs up, it is at 777 thumbs up - and 7 thumbs down - 7777 - that's a pattern that is hard to break. Plus it's strange you have 7 thumbs down - when this was such a fascinating video for me. I am just starting to research this, but growing up, I exhibited nearly all of the traits girls seem to have. I am 43 now. I especially connected with your fidget of bouncing the ball - I often feel like moving my body or doing something rhythmic quiets all the facts in my head that are trying to get out at once, and allows me to focus, sort, and select one fact or idea over the others. Actually, I'm so new at researching this, I don't really know if that is a trait, or just a quirky thing you and I seem to both do. Thank you for sharing your life and insights.
If you go to the shop and they don't have the thing you asked them for, you:
1. move to the second item on the list of items that you could replace this thing with, this is a list you prepared beforehand in your head (and memorized using an acronym od the first letters on that list)
2. if they start looking upset, or the person behind you moved significantly closer to you (so may be upset), and you have asked them more than 2 items, or reached the end of the list, you ask for a single thing you can see is there and is not too expensive, and preferably you can use it at some point
3. if all that fails, you say "aha", go away, pretend you are leaving, and move to the end of the line, where you can think about your next strategy
4. if there is no line, you just leave, stand outside the shop feeling like an idiot and decide if you want to give it another shot with a new list
..you want to tell me that this is more or less not what everyone does?
Lol it took till i was about 28 for my therapist to start noticing and kept suggesting i read "look me in the eye" and also from an abusive childhood i developed a borderline personality disorder with addictive personality traits she also suggested his book "Dry"...
I just notify my family no answer father my mother is still following up on it , very introverted and intuition i score as a infj-t 16 types of personalities
Very interesting story.
Actually, people may believe; but what they don't do, spontaneously, would be: « morally accepting that, certain neurodiverse people (some in the spectrum for example), although in thesis CAPABLE of doings things the 'right' (or the 'normal') way, like the majority of people, need special consideration ». In other words, they think we are just being stubborn, ill-willed and Resisting the Normal way out of luxury, cunning, commodity or lazyness, that we should just do the Effort like everyone else, like… 'it doesn't hurt; you're exaggerating; ¡comm'on!' ; But then they ignore that such Normal ways are Bad for us (and likely sometimes even for themselves, ¡although they might not perceive!). So, one of the cultural problems we suffer, also are suffered equally by other Minorities, such as Women for example; the (often Symbolic) Violence of the Patriarchy, and its Structural Machismo. It's about Normality(ies), Status Quo(s), and, most importantly to understand the social interactions: Power Relations (Foucault's concept) in the human relations. If we study it deeper, we'll make the associations and more and more (re)unite and understand and feel, empathetically, each other better.
I'm saying 'we'/'us' because, even though I don't know if I am myself in the spectrum, I pretty much identify with many of those Feelings and social adversities discussed in the context.
I take looks at other peoples baskets to decide what to get at food store..a lot...difficult to talk and God help me if I run into anyone
If I had Asperger's I'd be an assassin like Ben Affleck in The Accountant. LoL
Oh... I read that book too, at the age of 20. I found myself experiencing many things similar to the book, but I never went to a clinical psychologist because it is just too expansive.
well, my way of finding out was a bit more brutal. I had a meltdown in public and someone I know ran after me (I always had those breakdowns and tend to run away to hide them) and sat with me till I was able to speak again. He said he's not that stupid, and he thinks that I'm either very, very clever, or autistic, or propably both. I had my IQ testet recently but noone knew the results. So that made me think. He was right about one thing. But I had no Idea what autism acutally is.
This happened in a theatre company and I had to continue working with people who interpreted so much into my words (despite me saying that I don't hide meanings in between the lines and my best friend always telling them the same) and something had to change. His word were: either you want to be seen as intelligent or as disabled. But I think both will work with those people. I don't want to be seen as intelligent. So that evening I pretended to be autistic to explain my problems.
Then I started my own research. It took 48h without a break. Then I asked my actual friends a question: "Do you think I might be autistic?" I got the same answer out of every single one of them. It was "Oh, darling, I've known for years, but don't worry, I love you." And they don't know each other. Well, f*ck. (I also did that online diagnosis test. Its results were more like: btw, most diagnosed autistics score lower than you.)
Then I was thrown WAAAAAY off of my tracks. The realisation that everyone is acting strange might be because of my view on the world and that it had always been that way and just how many symptoms I had shown over the years (and told people about them) was shocking. I joined a facebook group and there I had the same results you had in your meeting: I understood the problems, I had experienced them myself and I had stategies to offer that helped other people. I still struggle to describe how I feel about that.
What # did you score ?? I scored first time 37 im 50ty years old imagine plus i have asgraphia and dysprexia kindergarden handwritting ! Love to here from you thanks
I know a lot of people with aspergers also have “cousin” diagnosis like Tourette’s or bipolar disorder. I have all three (ASD, bipolar and Tourette’s). I notice you have something that looks like mild tics in your shoulders. Have you ever got a diagnosis on that? Just curios!
I have TS and am struggling to figure out if I also have autism because TS can give you autistic traits without it being autism! So I’m really struggling I have no idea
What are your thoughts on the overlap between AS and giftedness/high learning potential? You're clearly highly intelligent...Do you think there's a chance you're 'just' gifted, or do you feel you have both things going on? My son is 4, he's obviously unusually intelligent and incredible at maths, he has sensory issues and meltdowns, he struggles socially, and we aren't 100% sometimes whether he's just gifted or actually has AS. I know there's no way to know without an in depth assessment, which he's just not ready for, but I wonder how you personally feel about these issues with yourself
Is being able to doubt yourself typical of asperger's?
I had this lady 12 meters away she dropped her pen and she didnt notice i walked up to her she notice at 2 meters away she was suprised i cross the hall way to pick it up im going through sensory sound xtreme and artificial light affects me dogs barking etc !
Did anyone think meltdowns were serious temper issues? I experienced super violent rage fits my whole life and after reading on meltdowns, I think that's what was actually going on. I'm only learning all this in the last two weeks. I'm never sure of anything but I'm very sure of this. Of course, I've got appointments for diagnosis, but I'm looking for input from people with late diagnosis.
Waaaaaaaait a moment... You're saying the (totally-uncontrollable) (holy-sh-I-did-WHAT?) (can't-remember-was-too-angry) thing I've been working my whole life to avoid might actually go into the category of meltdowns? I mean I kicked myself out of my parents' household because I could no longer trust myself not to hurt anyone seriously while my regular normal self Will Not hurt anyone, can't even do aggressive gestures most of the time? WOHOOOO!! That would definitely tick the box for that classic sign and I was indeed wondering how/what the meltdowns were and if I might be as blessed as to not get them...
I have a question. Do people with asberger prefer to hang out with other people with asberger, or do they prefer to hang out with normies?
I just came out to my parents about being on the spectrum. Mom said " So you hate people and you're not interested in friendships?" Dad argued endlessly about it being introversion and not autism. So, I guess I'm going to seek a diagnosis. For them, not for me.
I've had my autistic struggles dismissed as being "introversion" my entire life. My parents still don't know; I'm just now starting my diagnosis process. And I've rejected the term "introvert" while referring to myself.
You said that people "need to meet people on the spectrum in real life". I suspect everyone does know people on the spectrum, they just probably don't know that they do.
No - you weren't rambling... I was feeling your words!
I was going "yes. Yes - they don't get it"
"yes - this 'aspergers from the inside ' is a
FLIPPING BRILLIANT IDEA!!!
More people with autism should do!
Totally agree! This was so powerful for me to hear!
Rambling is okay, rabbit holes lead to interesting points too.
Thanks for the feedback! It's hard to know how far 'off topic' is ok before it becomes an issue :)
@@autismfromtheInside If that's a "sign", I'm scoring once again. That's how I Verbalize how I think... talking it through and evolving with new ideas...
I was hanging on the edge of my seat about to hear the deep revelation and you stopped and said you were rambling! 😃 But I will keep watching and listening. I’m learning!!
Honestly if youre gonna watch an autie youtuber you should just be prepared for rambling and rabbit holes,,,
I just recently found your channel and it's like having an audio diary but with a nice Australian accent. So much of what you share about your thought process and solutions are almost identical to what I had to learn to do to be able to interface with society.
I've recently been talking to my family about how they perceive me. My sister would tell me, basic on her observations, how I was feeling. She was totally wrong. I explained to her what I was feeling. She acknowledge that certain behaviour in me meant something different then that same behaviour in her husband. Understanding that neuro-typical people, who care about me, treat me in a way I find very confusing because they misread me. They got frustrated with me because they did the "right" thing but I got frustrated and angry.
youtube recommended this to me. it is obviously a diagnosis
Rofl 😂 That's hilarious
Hah! This video popped up for me as well! I diagnosed my younger sister, and then she sought and received a formal diagnosis. I took a test once that scored me high in Aspergers traits and high in empathy traits; the test author described people like me as rare and rarely successful! I recently watched The Irishman by Scorsese and I suspect, “it is what it is.”
"I was so sure from that experience that I was on the spectrum. I started reading these books and telling off the books, and going No, that's not what's happening. That's what it looks like on the outside but that's not what's happening on the inside".
I found myself in that position a few months ago. I remember reading something that really infurated me. I'm paraphrasing here, but it was something along the lines of "Autistic people have no empathy".
The way the whole thing was written almost made it seem like "If you have an autistic child, you're basically caring for a machine".
"It's not a child, it's cold and unfeeling".
In the short time that I've been looking into this, that's a huge misunderstanding. I'll probably comment on what got me into this another time.
However, from what I've come to find is this: Autistic people DO feel empathy. Problem is, if you struggle to express it, if you don't know how to utilise that socially. What do you do with it?
What's right, what's over the line?
We're sometimes talking about people here who struggle to put their own feelings into words, let alone their feelings for others.
This resonates completely with me too. Learning about ASD online and taking the online quizzes all point to a very loud and resounding YES I am autistic (and probably not even all that high functioning considering I haven't had a job in 20+ years). But my family all give me the look and tone of total disbelief with a high dose of "you are just a little bit crazy" when I try to list examples of how I am autistic. To the point where it might even be worth a few thousand dollars just to get an official diagnosis. And yet ASD explains me so well that if some professional said I wasn't autistic, I would probably break down in tears and be utterly crushed. It's not that I want a medical excuse for the way I am. It's that it so perfectly explains the way I am, and I want to be able to offer outside, unbiased, expert evidence that backs me up when I say "stop trying to shove me into your NT box! I don't work that way, and ASD is why!" I've always been labeled the weird one, never understood why I didn't fit in no matter how hard I tried or how many books I read and took copious notes from on how to make friends and hold a conversation and be a good listener. Understanding that I'm autistic has, for the first time in my life, helped me truly feel that I am not broken.
Love you but the ball bouncing is driving me nuts. I'm sorry, I just can't stand repetitive noises... Thanks for your story!
I believe my son, 28, has Aspergers, and just watching you move as you talk about this reminds me so much of him. It's like movement helps him think.
Yeah, I personally find that I can think much better if i’m moving.
@@terhiherukka2476
Thats perfectly normal. Some ppl are audio or visual learners and some prefer to move. Kinetic learners. I think thats what they call it.
I find Paul perfectly fine, maybe more intelligent than d rest of ppl.
For me, moving helps retain focus.
If I'm shaking my leg or playing with my fingers, or scrathcing a particular part of my body, even just walking around during conversation, it helps retain focus on the particular subject, it keeps my body busy so my mind can focus more. It's something similar to a security blanket, its a tangible grounded sense, that can hold you together.
I think asperger is normal. What a nice group.
Gold Eagle I attest that the majority can in fact be incorrect
I hope you are able to see through the fact that this is just his story. Everyone else has different stories. Also, kindly don't call it normal. It just desensitises it. I think you mean Aspies are normal. Which I appreciate.
Thank you. As a dad of a 5 y.o on the spectrum, these kinds of videos from others on the spectrum on youtube has really helped me understand my son, which helps me be a better dad to him
I love how open and honest you are. It's brave to be so vulnerable. I also love how you describe finding your tribe. I have that in my Mums on the Spectrum facebook group
I suspected I had aspergers for many years. I have 7 children who also show signs of this amazing thing given to us by God. We are uniquely made. I homeschooled all of them until they were seniors in HS. Since they all had it (I didn’t know but suspected) I was able to encourage them to explore everything they were interested in. So now I have engineers, nurses, psychologists in professional capacities in all of my children. Happy healthy and loved. They are so diverse, 2 of them had careers and are now retired at the ripe age of 28 and 32 and are exploring other careers. It’s so fun to watch and I’m so proud of them. Sometimes they do act a little out there but its just based on their unique selves and what God has blessed them with in their brains. Thanks for this channel and more clarity. I feel validated.
I am having happy tears for probably the first time in my life.
I think the worst discrimination against Aspies is the difficult process in getting a diagnosis. I hit me last night while I was at work after I was trying to explain to one of my managers that I may be on the spectrum and how being on the spectrum explains a lot about me. The same way that people are assumed to be straight, people are assumed to be neurotypical. Two people can share the same sexuality but can be vastly different. So this made me think it was screwed up that Aspies have to go to such lengths to prove that they are different. I think that instead NTs need to educate themselves to understand us better. While I hate to imply that "the world needs to change for us" it sorta has to because of the alarming co-morbidities of mental disorders. A lot of us are suffering because people don't understand us and don't want to understand us. So we feel locked out of society. And it is especially hard for those of us who desperately want to have friends but don't know how people act to get friends. It hurts a lot.
Very true. Print some info in aspergers and the workplace and give it to your employer
You have ALOT of self awareness
It can be a curse
May very well be a way to compensate for autism, I very much relate
I have that too and believe me, it's not funny.
Wow. I so relate to everything you say. It is so comforting to hear your take on all of the experiences and evaluations both internal and external. It really is difficult when people close to us diss our evaluation. They do diss the validity and the significance of the diagnosis. Thanks for your willingness to share your life experience with us. You really are amazing.
Could you be any more handsome ? No !
Hehe 😅
Im 39 and just realizing in 2018. I had a sickness and someone else who had the same sickness was talking to me on fb from across the nation. He asked me if i ever thought i had Aspergers bc he thought he had it too. Thats when i looked into it. I kinda grazed over it though. I cant believe i went through my entire school career like this, and still skimmed by. I go tuesday this week for an appt for testing.. You've been alot of help Paul!
Hi Paul, this video is a bit old but I just came across it - will check out part three. What I'd really like to know (and perhaps you cover that) is how to help my child transition from College to life after college. We are very proud of our child as mainstream milestones were met (graduating from school, almost finishing a 4 year college education, etc) but we are slowly coming to the realization that we need to be more creative and that a 'job' would not be right for him. We are considering a gap year but he wants to conform so badly that I am afraid that he may lock himself into a 9 to 5 that will make him miserable (as he was with school, summer jobs and is with college). Can you comment on how does a young person insert themselves into things after college (BTW, our child has found every psychologist we've seen dumb and full of useless advice).
I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome in 1971, when it did not have a name. I'm a Gen X Aspie.
Who first noticed it in you ?
Duuuuuude! The number of times I have called my wife when I'm at the super market because they don't have "exactly" the thing I came for... or they have different varieties of the thing that I came for... thanks for making these
As a female my acceptance was a very different experience. I was labelled as "crazy/strange/odd" because I do things to my own tune (out of survival). But for all the complications my brain throws out, there is a whole world I get to experience that I know NT's can't see, so it's understandable why they act afraid of "difference". I accept their difference, because I can't see things the way they do, I just wish it was mutual understanding. I think the world would be a better place if everyone was as accepting as aspies are.
The "not being believed" part REALLY hit a chord with me, thank you for that :)
I going into therapy and diagnosis soon. I also internet diagnosed myself after my sister's therapist "diagnosed" her (even if the therapist doesn't have the authority to give her the piece of paper)
So thank you for your vidéos, it helps a lot :)
Still haven't been diagnosed nearly 55 now
Never too late, Pam...
An "official' doctor stamped diagnosis is only cucial if you need special services like accommodations in the workplace or at school, or for therapy purposes. If you just want to can make your own adjustments through self education or join a support group, a diagnosis doesn't really matter.
55 Pam, same same
@@Mrs.Silversmith, hi there. Perhaps you can try seeking company and fellowship in a church. Many had put their trust in Jesus and found healing, Deliverance and blessings.
NB : God is love and those who put their trust in Jesus, had never been disappointed. May God bless and keep you. Shalom and Godspeed, Agape
@@annawong3112 Funny you should mention that. Actually I am a Christian and active in my local church. I think that my relationship with Jesus has definitely grown me in a lot of areas including how I cope with Aspergers.
Hmmm...outside versus inside perspective! You are a very interesting speaker.
Watching your videos makes me incredibly emotional. That strong desire to fit in and be understood is overwhelming at times. I'm struggling to fit in and find my place in this world. I'm struggling to find a job that is a fit for me. I want to be loved and accepted as who I am rather than who I am try to be to fit in.
I am in tears, your words are lovely.
I was diagnosed at age 11 and I STILL went through years of "..really though?" because it was so hard to recognize how all those traits you read about manifest in myself, and most of it was cosmetically just a little different from how the traits are described. I thought I was just lazy, a bad kid, maybe "crazy".
Yes, I need examples to match precisely to relate, and I need questions to be worded the right way to understand and be able to answer them properly (in conversations, interviews, tests, etc.).
So good to be able to watch your videos. Just realised I'm on the spectrum sind my son's been diagnosed. Hard but also very validating, finally know why I felt like the alien amongst peers.
I am crying again, thank you
The first time I went to get a diagnosis a Dr saw me just once and did a few tests. The Dr said I wasn't a high functioning aspie, I had depression, anxiety, adhd, ocd, and a personality disorder. Lol
I'm a psychologist; not a therapist, I work with unemployed/underemployed people who have various "issues". One guy showed up with a long list of diagnoses: depression, anxiety, ADHD, OCD, OCPD and avoidant PD. Plus dyslexia, some motor skills/coordination issues and an eating disorder. Maybe if the psychiatrist had asked _why_ he had trouble eating (sensory issues) he might have considered an ASD? And this was someone who looked/sounded very stereotypically "autistic" in terms of body language, voice and so on.
3 of my 4 kids are on the spectrum. You remind me of my oldest. You are a wonderful human being and I enjoy your videos very much and have passed them on to my kids.
Wow the second question about what to do at the supermarket. I am an over thinker. It throws people off because I just explain things too much as if the other person does not understand .
Oh yes. My ( ex) husband complained I analysed everything too much. Well I did not analyse him enough🙄
I consistently score high on AQ tests. The Simon Baron-Cohen test, and other accredited tests tell me I should see a specialist. How do I get an official diagnosis?
73 years old and just diagnosed myself. Wish I had known this earlier. I have always wondered why I can’t seem to fit in anywhere.
I understand now why I chose to work in the Software Engineering field. Thanks, Paul, for your videos. They really help me understand you, and me.
I was diagnosed at 46. When I was young, they didn't believe women could have autism- even though my childhood behavior ticked a lot of boxes. Autism came up as a possibility when I met two people who I finally, 100% related to and got along with- who were both autistic. I got an "official" diagnosis (seven long questionnaires and six hours of verbal interviews that resulted in a thirteen page report) because I am physically disabled as well, and have to prove that I qualify for assistance. I'm seeking further revisitation of some diagnoses that I feel are incorrect or no longer accurate- I'm pretty darned sure I've got ADD as well.
Thank you Paul. It has helped me to understand my partner and myself.
That book sounds awesome. You express yourself very well it is easy to listen and understand you.
Thanks Gina :)
I like the information you provided about high frequency and hearing. Thanks.
How fortunate that a group was meeting the next day! 😃
Yeah! I thought so! They only meet once a month so the odds are like a million to one. lol
(PS: that was a parody of a Simpsons quote).
Wait, so what is the answer? What DO you do if you go to a store and they don't have what you were sent to get? You can't leave us hanging!
Hello my grandson had aspergers and he is 15 , thank you for making these vidios it is helping me understand him .