I remember asking a friend about his girlfriend. He was sad saying, "She is angry so we are not talking." But in the other instant, he said, "You know, I am passing time with another girl. We are meeting tonight, you understand what I mean...😏." My immediate query was, "Are you breaking up?" for which he gave an 'obvious' negative reply. But something pissed him off the next moment? It was me reminding him that he is the one who stays busy and angry most of the time, so technically her girlfriend should also lookout for someone to time pass with. And his casual reply was, "I can and will do this, but she doesn't have my permission to do the same as it will hurt me!" Waah re patriarchy......🤦♂️
I think it is good if we girls are morally high ....nothing should be done as a revenge or to just make ourselves equal with those who actually do not want to be with us.... patriarchy can be killed in many other different ways...
Has nothing to do with patriarchy. I live in the west...and see as much hypocrisy being done by women as men. Welcome to the next level of realization - It has nothing to do with patriarchy and more with the integrity of the Soul - Man or Women.
@Prathamesh Adsul There is no risk. The idea of sexual disease (other than bacterial infection) is False. In the entire history of so the so called field of virology - There has never been a single scientific study that has ever demonstrated such a thing as a virus(any type of virus) that causes disease/illness.
If a person want to cheat and know he cant remain committed in a relationship then y marry ? Better be single and have fun better don't hurt others emotional feelings and trust
I think there is not even a single woman who thinks being cheated is OK but still they continue the relationship is either they are dependent financially on him or for her kids so they can have both parents.
Monogamy itself is a Stupid Idea, modern women has already 3-10 partner's in big Cities, why would you want to be loyal to such a women is Beyond me. Marriage Is a dying institution.
What if she's loyal and he's not. In big cities women's also loyal to their husbands. And in reverse sometimes husband is the one who is loyal but she's not. So we can't say that marriage is a dying institution
@@aasthachaudhary8444 See that's my point if you want to be loyal to someone you don't need Marriage. being loyal is a choice you can't Guarentee it from the other Person.
It's a construct that sex is a need for men and women have to GIVE sex! It is this construct that is at the root. Men going out for leisure sex in the name of not getting any at home, or in the name of wife being tired, or in the name of just having fun isn't something to be justified. Yes the wife now has a choice to either continue or not in the relationship, but men do have a choice too when they feel these urges and monogamy was the essence of their marriage to just raise it with the wife and say hey, I am feeling this urge to be in a sexual relationship with someone else, or to have a night stand... And I might act on it! There on, the couple might start working on their sexual chemistry or they might seperate! And this might just save both from physical, mental and emotional harm! Just leave a woman who's need is monogamy and do whatever you want! Don't expose her to deadly diseases both mental and physical! Just entering into a marriage with the intention and promise of monogamy, don't abuse that trust! If both enter into a marriage with the intention being in an open one...then it's another story! Both parties must have a say.
Your literature english is very good .But simple sentence to understand your Philosophy of whther unfair sex is crime or not .this is mindset if you think it is crime it is crime if you do not think it is not crime . The unfair sex is not crime .you are eating in home and if you eat in 5 star hotel it is not crime . I.do not think so . N
@@TheAbhineetMagar You are a conservative or idealistic person . Will you feel chracterless is crime or not .if you feel chracterless is crime Then it is a difficult chapter to convince .
This session is very much needed for me.. as I am going through the same phase.. I got cheated during my first pregnancy.. when I should be pampered, supported, healed, loved I got something which I don't deserve.. I am not OK with it but I don't have any options.. I have to rear up my baby with father's name.. because this is patriarchy, this is what society prefers..
BIBLE: 1)Ephesians 5:25: "For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her." 2)Genesis 2:24: "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." 3)Mark 10:9: "Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." THESE ARE ALL about married people.
Are we being practical here? Doesn't this hold true for both sexes. I am a woman but I have women friends who have insta perfect husband and children and are having extra marital affairs at work place. The institution of marriage is complicated. With children involved, most couples simply coexist for their children. Their heart may not necessarily belong to the marriage. More often than not, when a partner strays the other too finds refuge elsewhere.
What's a need? What will a sex worker provide you that your wife doesn't? Is it submission? Are they not sexually compatible? If that's the case it can be worked on , how does cheating become the obvious answer. Sex is not always an emotional process but within marriage it generally is. So if my husband has sex with another woman , I will always imagine it to be an emotional connect. That's why she can't come to terms with it. Also , having sex with a sex worker is a different kind of kink , most men would not prefer it. So if that's the lifestyle you want , you address that with your wife and if shes ok with it go ahead and do it. Don't do the act and then come and tell her she should be ok with it because it was just sex. The likelyhood of a man who likes casual sex with sex workers finding a woman who would be happy with his choice is extremely low. Maybe not get married , if it's not what you are looking for. Marriage is awesome daal chawal for the rest of your life. So get into it , if that's ok for you.
@@Onlyfactz1090 I definitely mean it for both genders equally. I don't really follow her. It was a video I saw and had some views on at that time. But yes both genders for sure. Everyone should seek the consent of their partner if the partner is going to be affected by that decision. My personal opinion .
It's a pretty straightforward answer. Depends on the sex worker. Cheaper ones, it's mostly sex. Expensive ones, its attractiveness as well as the kink / fetish within the sex.
@@aishwaryasudan1290if wife always says no for sex and wife is not Sexually competible , and husband says wife that we both can try to solve your sexual problems but wife is not willing and trying to solve her Sexual problems then husband should go outside for sex ! this is how going outside for sex is ( justified and answered ) !
@@harshtiwari1244 then leave her. How is this going to make the situation better? It adds more problems to an already difficult situation. It's feeding into her toxicity, because now shes not the only one who is wrong, the guy made a mistake too. She will weaponise that mistake and use it to justify her behaviour. Most women who deny sex to their husband have either some history of sexual trauma or they are narcissistic. If she doesn't try to change her behaviour or go to therapy for her trauma, a man has full rights to leave her. Just don't make the waters more muddy.
@@aishwaryasudan1290if wife always says No for sex and wife is not sexual competible , so husband want to worked on but wife is not want to worked on it , wife is not trying and not applying 100% Afforts to solve her sexual problems , and wife is not doing communication for solving her sexual problems and if husband asked wife to visit to Sexologist gynecologist doctors for solving her sexual problems but wife is not want to visit doctors for solving sexual problems and this is how if wife is not cooperating with her husband for solving her sexual problems and wife is not worked on for solving her sexual problems , wife is not willing to sove Sexual competible problem and if wife always says No for sex then husband definately go outside for sex ! This is emergency ! . In this this husband is allowed to go outside for sex ( if wife is not giving sex and if wife is not Sexually competible but wife is not willing to sove her Sexual problems and wife is not want to worked on for solving sexual problems ) then husband should definitely go outside for sex . This is how Cheating is justifed and answerd
🤔 so when a married man has his needs he visits a sex worker just because the wife is not around. So does this apply to married women too? So what is the meaning of fidelity?
Fidelity is a social construct to domesticate the instinctual needs of a human. It is imposed upon us by culture and treated as a virtue to be upheld by the moral individual.
@@iemon7722 "Fidelity is a social construct to domesticate the instinctual needs of a human. It is imposed upon us by culture and treated as a virtue to be upheld by the moral individual." Fidelity is not always that way...sometimes it's the natural result of people genuinely wanting to stay committed to each other - not because of an agreement, but because they enjoy it as a result that they only want each other. It's not always something cultural 'imposed'.
It is humble request to all men and women of the world don t take bad lessons from tadap film ,where actress played with the actor body ,take lessons from sooryavansam where Amitabh ji had supported actress till she became ias officer and actress supported Amitabh ji till he success bissiness men ,what a beautiful love story but tadap is bad love story ,where heroine had cheated hero for enjoyment ,don t make body the means for time pass ,it is for dignity purity ,and keep oly open for husband and wife till dead ,this is god ,goddess , gurunanak ji ,alla , Jesus Christ wants from world society
The problem is that both of the experts still think All men are same and We men represent a single mindset just cause we have the same gender. Everyone's sexual needs are different. On the priority list sex as a necessity comes at different order for different people. The man who decided to retain his semen isn't the same person who slept with a whore. So blame the culprit, not the innocent. Some women cheat, repeatedly. That doesn't mean every woman is a cheater.
Folks, are you even thinking ? The nofap man and the person who cheated are two different people. Did the man who cheat was practicing nofap? How can you connect both them as one ? I agree, that it is a choice, and if you are in a contract like marriage, the other person has the right to walk away when they are cheated. It's her choice now.
Dont consider marriage as a contract, dont impose the idealogy of Abrahamic religions to the masses... we have our culture and analyse things based on our culture....
@@bignavin10 "Dont consider marriage as a contract, dont impose the idealogy of Abrahamic religions to the masses... we have our culture and analyse things based on our culture" Actually it is a contract whether you consider it or not. People don't realize when they get married, there are actually two marriages happening at the same time. The first is the one you are talking about, the romance, the ceremony, the festive, the idea and meaning the couple hold about the marriage, etc. the personal vows(which both are free to change in concert with each other). Then there is the other part which is actually the contract. The piece of paper the couple signs which actually becomes a legal document. That is a contract with the government.
Relationship dynamic is very complex...its really hard to say what is right or wrong...i am not supporting cheating...but on indivual level how much a person is mentally, physically and emotionally stable to have relation with others and sadly our society dont care about....i dont think marriage is a gurrantee of monogamy....we rather focus on person to person interaction.
Yes....its true...but if relation is falling apart and they are not emotionally connected. Niether is trying to work on relation...then it is going to happen that one or both of them start seeing others.
Seema... Khudos.. you have an in-depth understanding about the issue .. the answers were not so helpful. . But I'm sure time will heal a woman's emotional trauma.. once she gets a right friend's shoulder to cry on. . Secondly.. when you see this wide world of umpteen wreckers .. then you feel yes.. your not alone on this boat. Life teaches acceptance.
One thing every man and woman should know that it's ur responsibility to keep ur women and ur man happy . Kindly acknowledge that men are vauled by the sex getting from his women.
The sex is part of love ,but not it is essential that men and women cannot keep patience till his or her wife and husband is available in bed ,if it happens god and goddess also feel happy ,today the mighty is unhappy with men and women of the world
In love ,whether it is love marriage ,arrange marriage ,there is need of trust ,patience , honesty , affection ,love ,no greadyness of sex ,no forcing ,no forceful kissing ,loyal to one,s body till the last breath in this earth ,otherwise men and women should not marry ,if he or she has no quality of this as all couple are making marriage market ,with immediate effect s divorce ,sleeping with others ,living in relationship must be banned in every men and women,s heart ,the court will follow right to do any thing ,but it not means that every men and women will do any thing of thier own
Right to do any thing ,it not means that men and women can do.any thing without thinking about thier husband ,wife ,children etc ,it is totally wrong ,it impact bad relations on youngsters ,it s true men and women can enjoy life but what about thier children !
Having sex with a Sex worker is not equivalent to cheating, it is an activity to engage in pleasurable activity. However being said that, it is very much wrong to engage in such activity at least from the moral point of view.
The woman looks to me that she has given her husband the permission that this was a need for him..ok fine but just accept that I also have needs I'll get a stud to service me...this is absurd.This woman is surely not ok with this but clearly being shut down.
I'm a 30 yo guy and I know the psychology of a human male, how we think at 18 and how we think at 30.. I have seen a lot, kissed many, made out with some, slept with few, trust me on this, I can give a clear cut human male sex psychology.. like it, dislike it or ignore it, it is what it is and if you can't accept it then what are the circumstances
when people resort to infidelity there are some factors that people justify... the need to seek gratification elsewhere because your partner is ageing, or if you are seeking variety, like different shape, size, colour, or even seeking validation about one's personality or sexual performance is something that needs to be discussed.. there are shallow and superficial reasons for it making it crudely animal.. what is causing impulsive decisions... there is total lack of satisfaction whether over oneself or partner. There is lack of communication. What is the role of money in this? The psychology of it. What do you say about a person seeking love and sex from a suitable new partner because their own partner is abusive, or controlling or sexually incompatible?
Why you are stereotyping people with genders? I DON'T THINK YOU ARE BEING FAIR Every person is unique and I am unable to nofap however the societal pressure weighs contrary to it
Your this session is like a court trial here without listening to the side of culprit. You needed a man in the session, who will freely express (if not justify) his views on why does a man feel to go to prostitutes? What's his justification, even in biggest pandemic of last century why is he risking his life? It's very clear here from many aspects of the discussion, the Anchor is clearly not understanding the psyche of Men, how they think. If you have to help women, and address their issues, you need to talk to other party, the men. You must have brought them on the table. Because taking with women on such issues isn't going to solve there issues, talking with men can.
One. Your comment is an insult to the courts! They look at evidence at hand and not just accounts of both parties. Two. It's a construct that sex is a need for men and women have to GIVE sex! It is this construct that is at the root. Men going out for leisure sex in the name of not getting any at home, or in the name of wife being tired, or in the name of just having fun isn't something to be justified. Yes the wife now has a choice to either continue or not in the relationship, but men do have a choice too when they feel these urges and monogamy was the essence of their marriage to just raise it with the wife and say hey, I am feeling this urge to be in a sexual relationship with someone else, or to have a night stand... And I might act on it! There on, the couple might start working on their sexual chemistry or they might seperate! And this might just save both from physical, mental and emotional harm! Just leave a woman who's need is monogamy and do whatever you want! Don't expose her to deadly diseases both mental and physical!
Being with my fair share of married women I can say that the person who is cheating is only driven by lust. They are really crazy for sex. Rest all nonsense is just an excuse to hide their guilt. Hence, do not be emotional in such situations. Nobody is at trial here. These debate that men always cheat or female are the victims will continue till eternity. There is no answer to that. Either this or they will find some other way to victimize themselves .So just be gone your own way, do not get attached to anyone or anything and keep no strings attached, in that case you can't betray anyone. Keep your conscience clear. Enjoy the fruit of sins that others have planted. P.S - Use protection
This is why trust divorce and break ups and lack of trust...happens...in intimacy...why should only men enjoy? It's better women stay with who's worth and loyalty
Introspection here,to the ladies WHY did the man seek sex outside the relationship?. Were you meeting his needs?. The same applies to a man. If the answers are NO,then who's fault is it.
I don't intend defend the guy for what he did or justify it any sense, but I've a more neutral question, are these couple having enough sex? Is she turning him down most of the times? (It can he also like in my case), HE should/has to meet her physical or emotional needs, what about other way around? Is he getting his needs met in this relationship. How should couple (from man's perspective and from women's perspective) deal with this? I'm not having sex with my wife because we are not getting along, I have the regular Sexual urges but can't afford buying prostitutes. In this situation as we (me & my wife) don't get along, I don't care if she makes boyfriends or hires prostitute or etc as I am seeing our marriage ending in divorce eventually. So I feel if I was popular with women or had enough money then having occasional sex wouldn't be wrong. Here my premise is that if couple got along and both parties satisfied, then this question or situation wouldn't have arised, should only one sex be held responsible and blamed for it? Looking forward to your serious response!
Vis a Vis this discussion is outdated .. Men & Women are free to fulfill their needs, which should be part of the marriage contract and not being an emotional wreck, instead be a fulcrum of an energy. I think we have more important social changes to be discussed than S3x. It's a biological need. Let's experience the need and fulfill to our hearts content not in the confines of a subject but with consciousness.
With all due respects, in this discussion, there were a lot of assumptions made about the couple by both women and was biased. Unfortunately the answer went into the usual way of man vs. woman (always being the victim). Nothing was spoken about sexual compatibility between the couple. "Need" arises out of scarcity and that can happen to either man or woman. With both of you being experts on sex, I think addressing sexual compatibility issues would have been more appropriate (rather than making it primarily a gender specific issue). Couples don't even talk to each other about what they like or don't like in bed. So these issues are bound to happen.
Disgusting..one cant imagine d level of energy exchange@sleeping wid a sex worker..pepl sleep wid housemaids even..how can one go to such lower level..
Before all this how do you even get sex in India, it is the toughest thing to do, then where is the question of doubting the partner. If you're getting, how do you get it? But not a sex worker..
Marriage is the most medieval, fascist and soul crushing experience. It's good for codependent people .. but if you are worth your salt, you will immediately find the fallacy of this ill-imposed retirement plan. Embrace the suck and stop expecting stuff from people .. It's the victim mentality and too much talk and too little feeling that is creating this chasm in our private lives.
"Marriage is the most medieval, fascist and soul crushing experience. It's good for codependent people .. but if you are worth your salt, you will immediately find the fallacy of this ill-imposed retirement plan" The only fallacy is your assumption of why you think ALL marriages and reasons to get married are the same. You assume people all people put the cart before the horse. When in fact many people choose marriage as a result of their Love for each other, not marriage as a means for Love or anything else related to marriage. To understand the essence of what I just said requires more than just ones salt...it requires Consciousness. Which is what a successful marriage requires as well.
Madam Pl teach men and women both to do their duties towards each other rather having a biased opinion towards men and start championing the cause of women majority of them who r nothing but a pain in the ass
Sex is everyone's need, even women. Unfortunately women are socialized to compromise against unmet needs that eventually lowers the sex drive. So at some level he isn't satisfying her emotionally as well as sexually. But she is stuck with an "honourable" Compromise and he got to sl*t out and rationalize it as a "need". If she would've cheated his entire family would be up in arms.
@@infinity_shows_149 that's a strawman argument as we're comparing the REACTION to male and female adultery and not the very act of it as being obviously unethical.
I'm a 30 yo guy and I know the psychology of a human male, how we think at 18 and how we think at 30.. I have seen a lot, kissed many, made out with some, slept with few, trust me on this, I can give a clear cut human male sex psychology.. like it, dislike it or ignore it, it is what it is and if you can't accept it then what are the circumstances
Humans have reasoning ability! They can decide for themselves but in an institution like marriage this should be agreed on by both! There are open marriages too, but atleast one mustn't abuse the trust of the other. When you enter into it by insinuating that the relationship will be monogamous and then in future just blatantly without considering and atleast informing do the complete opposite! That's not acceptable
ज्यादा कुछ समझ नहीं आया लेकिन मुद्दा पुरुष के अन्दर अधिक वासना का है। कारण स्पष्ट है प्रकृति से न जुड़ना और न ही धार्मिक ग्रंथों का अध्ययन न करना। अगर कोई भी व्यक्ति इन नियमों का पालन करे तो वैवाहिक जीवन में भी ब्रह्मचर्य का आचरण रहैगा
Zionna Chana of Mizoram had 39 Wives & lived happily with him ..Why this lady is depressed when her husband is away for a few days.Sad demise of Alfa Indian Males happened when Sh Murarji Desai modified Hindu Marriage Act & forced Indian Males in to Monogamy making their lives dull & monotonous .When Dropadi could live in Polygandrous relations with Five Pandavas why not to allow Indian Males to practise Polygamy relationship why not Indian
Women in the time of Zionna Chana lived in hard-core male dominace. They did have the option to refuse to be with a Faithfull man. If this women would have been adulterous it would have been a shame to the entire family honour. If you support polygamy let it be both sides ( which is not the case) but of course women will be slit shamed.
Would you let your mother, sister, wife or any women related to you have 39 husbands?? What has happened in the past need not be not be prefect, and to make it sound correct if we give the logic that those did have multiple partners were happy why is it wrong?? still does not make wrong as right...!!! Many things have happened in the past which were wrong and many have done it and yet it remains wrong.. Its not the question of gender.. Would that husband be OK if his wife would do the same?? Answer will be straight no... And then to say that wife has a choice Is arrogance because she may have sarcficeda a lot for that relationship and is likely to be hurt just the way husband would be hurt if his wife would go to some gigolo to satisfy herself..
I remember asking a friend about his girlfriend. He was sad saying, "She is angry so we are not talking." But in the other instant, he said, "You know, I am passing time with another girl. We are meeting tonight, you understand what I mean...😏."
My immediate query was, "Are you breaking up?" for which he gave an 'obvious' negative reply.
But something pissed him off the next moment?
It was me reminding him that he is the one who stays busy and angry most of the time, so technically her girlfriend should also lookout for someone to time pass with.
And his casual reply was, "I can and will do this, but she doesn't have my permission to do the same as it will hurt me!"
Waah re patriarchy......🤦♂️
😂🤣
I think it is good if we girls are morally high ....nothing should be done as a revenge or to just make ourselves equal with those who actually do not want to be with us.... patriarchy can be killed in many other different ways...
Ye kya tha🤣, wah
Has nothing to do with patriarchy. I live in the west...and see as much hypocrisy being done by women as men. Welcome to the next level of realization - It has nothing to do with patriarchy and more with the integrity of the Soul - Man or Women.
@Prathamesh Adsul There is no risk. The idea of sexual disease (other than bacterial infection) is False. In the entire history of so the so called field of virology - There has never been a single scientific study that has ever demonstrated such a thing as a virus(any type of virus) that causes disease/illness.
If a person want to cheat and know he cant remain committed in a relationship then y marry ? Better be single and have fun better don't hurt others emotional feelings and trust
True, marriage is never a compulsion. Go for it only when one can remain committed in that relation.
Yeh baat parents ko samjaanaa, when u cross 30 and are still prfering ti stay single
@@akshaymore1991 True
Bcoz Cowards abide by the rules of Society. 'Marriage and a baby' completes an individual atleast here in India. What a Bullshit.
True
I think cheating is nt ok either physically or emotionally...
I think there is not even a single woman who thinks being cheated is OK but still they continue the relationship is either they are dependent financially on him or for her kids so they can have both parents.
Monogamy itself is a Stupid Idea, modern women has already 3-10 partner's in big Cities, why would you want to be loyal to such a women is Beyond me.
Marriage Is a dying institution.
What if she's loyal and he's not.
In big cities women's also loyal to their husbands.
And in reverse sometimes husband is the one who is loyal but she's not.
So we can't say that marriage is a dying institution
@@aasthachaudhary8444 See that's my point if you want to be loyal to someone you don't need Marriage. being loyal is a choice you can't Guarentee it from the other Person.
It's a construct that sex is a need for men and women have to GIVE sex! It is this construct that is at the root. Men going out for leisure sex in the name of not getting any at home, or in the name of wife being tired, or in the name of just having fun isn't something to be justified. Yes the wife now has a choice to either continue or not in the relationship, but men do have a choice too when they feel these urges and monogamy was the essence of their marriage to just raise it with the wife and say hey, I am feeling this urge to be in a sexual relationship with someone else, or to have a night stand... And I might act on it! There on, the couple might start working on their sexual chemistry or they might seperate! And this might just save both from physical, mental and emotional harm! Just leave a woman who's need is monogamy and do whatever you want! Don't expose her to deadly diseases both mental and physical!
Just entering into a marriage with the intention and promise of monogamy, don't abuse that trust! If both enter into a marriage with the intention being in an open one...then it's another story! Both parties must have a say.
You seems too knowledgeable in this field??? 🤣
Your literature english is very good .But simple sentence to understand your Philosophy of whther unfair sex is crime or not .this is mindset if you think it is crime it is crime if you do not think it is not crime .
The unfair sex is not crime .you are eating in home and if you eat in 5 star hotel it is not crime . I.do not think so .
N
@@ajitpani2113 I did not understand ur comment 😄
@@TheAbhineetMagar
You are a conservative or idealistic person .
Will you feel chracterless is crime or not .if you feel chracterless is crime
Then it is a difficult chapter to convince .
@@ajitpani2113 it's not about sleeping with sumone, the question is breaking sumones trust and hurting. Nobody's taking about crime here.
This session is very much needed for me.. as I am going through the same phase.. I got cheated during my first pregnancy.. when I should be pampered, supported, healed, loved I got something which I don't deserve.. I am not OK with it but I don't have any options.. I have to rear up my baby with father's name.. because this is patriarchy, this is what society prefers..
You need to address her pain and discomfort. Question have you really accepted it....
Or if she really had a choice
BIBLE: 1)Ephesians 5:25: "For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her."
2)Genesis 2:24: "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."
3)Mark 10:9: "Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."
THESE ARE ALL about married people.
No, it's about two people who love each other deeply. Marriage is just a contract that is not required when Love is present.
Nobody, absolutely nobody....guy with a bible, see this quote here
Are we being practical here? Doesn't this hold true for both sexes. I am a woman but I have women friends who have insta perfect husband and children and are having extra marital affairs at work place. The institution of marriage is complicated. With children involved, most couples simply coexist for their children. Their heart may not necessarily belong to the marriage. More often than not, when a partner strays the other too finds refuge elsewhere.
My mom and dad South India never cheated she was sick for 12years he never cheated parents
What's a need? What will a sex worker provide you that your wife doesn't? Is it submission? Are they not sexually compatible? If that's the case it can be worked on , how does cheating become the obvious answer. Sex is not always an emotional process but within marriage it generally is. So if my husband has sex with another woman , I will always imagine it to be an emotional connect. That's why she can't come to terms with it. Also , having sex with a sex worker is a different kind of kink , most men would not prefer it. So if that's the lifestyle you want , you address that with your wife and if shes ok with it go ahead and do it. Don't do the act and then come and tell her she should be ok with it because it was just sex. The likelyhood of a man who likes casual sex with sex workers finding a woman who would be happy with his choice is extremely low. Maybe not get married , if it's not what you are looking for. Marriage is awesome daal chawal for the rest of your life. So get into it , if that's ok for you.
@@Onlyfactz1090 I definitely mean it for both genders equally. I don't really follow her. It was a video I saw and had some views on at that time. But yes both genders for sure. Everyone should seek the consent of their partner if the partner is going to be affected by that decision. My personal opinion .
It's a pretty straightforward answer. Depends on the sex worker. Cheaper ones, it's mostly sex. Expensive ones, its attractiveness as well as the kink / fetish within the sex.
@@aishwaryasudan1290if wife always says no for sex and wife is not Sexually competible , and husband says wife that we both can try to solve your sexual problems but wife is not willing and trying to solve her Sexual problems then husband should go outside for sex ! this is how going outside for sex is ( justified and answered ) !
@@harshtiwari1244 then leave her. How is this going to make the situation better? It adds more problems to an already difficult situation. It's feeding into her toxicity, because now shes not the only one who is wrong, the guy made a mistake too. She will weaponise that mistake and use it to justify her behaviour. Most women who deny sex to their husband have either some history of sexual trauma or they are narcissistic. If she doesn't try to change her behaviour or go to therapy for her trauma, a man has full rights to leave her. Just don't make the waters more muddy.
@@aishwaryasudan1290if wife always says No for sex and wife is not sexual competible , so husband want to worked on but wife is not want to worked on it , wife is not trying and not applying 100% Afforts to solve her sexual problems , and wife is not doing communication for solving her sexual problems and if husband asked wife to visit to Sexologist gynecologist doctors for solving her sexual problems but wife is not want to visit doctors for solving sexual problems and this is how if wife is not cooperating with her husband for solving her sexual problems and wife is not worked on for solving her sexual problems , wife is not willing to sove Sexual competible problem and if wife always says No for sex then husband definately go outside for sex ! This is emergency ! . In this this husband is allowed to go outside for sex ( if wife is not giving sex and if wife is not Sexually competible but wife is not willing to sove her Sexual problems and wife is not want to worked on for solving sexual problems ) then husband should definitely go outside for sex . This is how Cheating is justifed and answerd
🤔 so when a married man has his needs he visits a sex worker just because the wife is not around. So does this apply to married women too? So what is the meaning of fidelity?
Fidelity is a social construct to domesticate the instinctual needs of a human. It is imposed upon us by culture and treated as a virtue to be upheld by the moral individual.
@@iemon7722 "Fidelity is a social construct to domesticate the instinctual needs of a human. It is imposed upon us by culture and treated as a virtue to be upheld by the moral individual."
Fidelity is not always that way...sometimes it's the natural result of people genuinely wanting to stay committed to each other - not because of an agreement, but because they enjoy it as a result that they only want each other. It's not always something cultural 'imposed'.
It is right time for both men and women of the world to purify himself and herself in all aspects
Like?
no extremity.
It is humble request to all men and women of the world don t take bad lessons from tadap film ,where actress played with the actor body ,take lessons from sooryavansam where Amitabh ji had supported actress till she became ias officer and actress supported Amitabh ji till he success bissiness men ,what a beautiful love story but tadap is bad love story ,where heroine had cheated hero for enjoyment ,don t make body the means for time pass ,it is for dignity purity ,and keep oly open for husband and wife till dead ,this is god ,goddess , gurunanak ji ,alla , Jesus Christ wants from world society
The problem is that both of the experts still think All men are same and We men represent a single mindset just cause we have the same gender.
Everyone's sexual needs are different.
On the priority list sex as a necessity comes at different order for different people.
The man who decided to retain his semen isn't the same person who slept with a whore.
So blame the culprit, not the innocent.
Some women cheat, repeatedly. That doesn't mean every woman is a cheater.
The therapist is very judgmental very unempathic
That’s the problem with Indian therapists
They are biased
There are few good therapists though. Maybe we need to be lucky enough to find one who strengthens us.
you have not 'locked' him DOWN properly...
There is no luck system in unfair sex .
Folks, are you even thinking ? The nofap man and the person who cheated are two different people. Did the man who cheat was practicing nofap? How can you connect both them as one ?
I agree, that it is a choice, and if you are in a contract like marriage, the other person has the right to walk away when they are cheated. It's her choice now.
Dont consider marriage as a contract, dont impose the idealogy of Abrahamic religions to the masses... we have our culture and analyse things based on our culture....
@@bignavin10 I agree
@@bignavin10 "Dont consider marriage as a contract, dont impose the idealogy of Abrahamic religions to the masses... we have our culture and analyse things based on our culture"
Actually it is a contract whether you consider it or not. People don't realize when they get married, there are actually two marriages happening at the same time.
The first is the one you are talking about, the romance, the ceremony, the festive, the idea and meaning the couple hold about the marriage, etc. the personal vows(which both are free to change in concert with each other).
Then there is the other part which is actually the contract. The piece of paper the couple signs which actually becomes a legal document. That is a contract with the government.
Relationship dynamic is very complex...its really hard to say what is right or wrong...i am not supporting cheating...but on indivual level how much a person is mentally, physically and emotionally stable to have relation with others and sadly our society dont care about....i dont think marriage is a gurrantee of monogamy....we rather focus on person to person interaction.
Agree with you
Yes right but say it before marriage.... if you promise fidelity nd do casual sex is cheating
Yes....its true...but if relation is falling apart and they are not emotionally connected. Niether is trying to work on relation...then it is going to happen that one or both of them start seeing others.
@@ava-if8xc rght I think so that we only seeing outside for understanding of our emotions when our partner won't try to understand it
15:00 was absolutely right! 💯
Sex workers must be given good respect in the society so that bribery would be reduced.
So true, absolutely love the topic, keep up the excellent work...!!!😊
Seema... Khudos.. you have an in-depth understanding about the issue .. the answers were not so helpful. . But I'm sure time will heal a woman's emotional trauma.. once she gets a right friend's shoulder to cry on. . Secondly.. when you see this wide world of umpteen wreckers .. then you feel yes.. your not alone on this boat. Life teaches acceptance.
One thing every man and woman should know that it's ur responsibility to keep ur women and ur man happy . Kindly acknowledge that men are vauled by the sex getting from his women.
The men and women has to restrict himself and herself of any kind of desires only with husband nd wife ,then only world will be beautiful
The sex is part of love ,but not it is essential that men and women cannot keep patience till his or her wife and husband is available in bed ,if it happens god and goddess also feel happy ,today the mighty is unhappy with men and women of the world
He has no patience of any thing
In love ,whether it is love marriage ,arrange marriage ,there is need of trust ,patience , honesty , affection ,love ,no greadyness of sex ,no forcing ,no forceful kissing ,loyal to one,s body till the last breath in this earth ,otherwise men and women should not marry ,if he or she has no quality of this as all couple are making marriage market ,with immediate effect s divorce ,sleeping with others ,living in relationship must be banned in every men and women,s heart ,the court will follow right to do any thing ,but it not means that every men and women will do any thing of thier own
Right to do any thing ,it not means that men and women can do.any thing without thinking about thier husband ,wife ,children etc ,it is totally wrong ,it impact bad relations on youngsters ,it s true men and women can enjoy life but what about thier children !
One,s body is not gift by God for lust but for true love for each other
Having sex with a Sex worker is not equivalent to cheating, it is an activity to engage in pleasurable activity. However being said that, it is very much wrong to engage in such activity at least from the moral point of view.
Seema Mam, one beauty vlog needed fom your side!!!❤️
These videos are really helpful 🙏💕
The woman looks to me that she has given her husband the permission that this was a need for him..ok fine but just accept that I also have needs I'll get a stud to service me...this is absurd.This woman is surely not ok with this but clearly being shut down.
I'm a 30 yo guy and I know the psychology of a human male, how we think at 18 and how we think at 30.. I have seen a lot, kissed many, made out with some, slept with few, trust me on this, I can give a clear cut human male sex psychology.. like it, dislike it or ignore it, it is what it is and if you can't accept it then what are the circumstances
when people resort to infidelity there are some factors that people justify... the need to seek gratification elsewhere because your partner is ageing, or if you are seeking variety, like different shape, size, colour, or even seeking validation about one's personality or sexual performance is something that needs to be discussed.. there are shallow and superficial reasons for it making it crudely animal.. what is causing impulsive decisions... there is total lack of satisfaction whether over oneself or partner. There is lack of communication. What is the role of money in this? The psychology of it. What do you say about a person seeking love and sex from a suitable new partner because their own partner is abusive, or controlling or sexually incompatible?
He has no patience of control of any kind of desires
You had to lock his down!
Why you are stereotyping people with genders? I DON'T THINK YOU ARE BEING FAIR Every person is unique and I am unable to nofap however the societal pressure weighs contrary to it
In such an eventuality ,my wife would divorce me.She would never allow me to touch her.I am sure of this.
Your this session is like a court trial here without listening to the side of culprit.
You needed a man in the session, who will freely express (if not justify) his views on why does a man feel to go to prostitutes? What's his justification, even in biggest pandemic of last century why is he risking his life?
It's very clear here from many aspects of the discussion, the Anchor is clearly not understanding the psyche of Men, how they think. If you have to help women, and address their issues, you need to talk to other party, the men. You must have brought them on the table.
Because taking with women on such issues isn't going to solve there issues, talking with men can.
No justification is needed in this kinda stuff
One. Your comment is an insult to the courts! They look at evidence at hand and not just accounts of both parties.
Two. It's a construct that sex is a need for men and women have to GIVE sex! It is this construct that is at the root. Men going out for leisure sex in the name of not getting any at home, or in the name of wife being tired, or in the name of just having fun isn't something to be justified. Yes the wife now has a choice to either continue or not in the relationship, but men do have a choice too when they feel these urges and monogamy was the essence of their marriage to just raise it with the wife and say hey, I am feeling this urge to be in a sexual relationship with someone else, or to have a night stand... And I might act on it! There on, the couple might start working on their sexual chemistry or they might seperate! And this might just save both from physical, mental and emotional harm! Just leave a woman who's need is monogamy and do whatever you want! Don't expose her to deadly diseases both mental and physical!
Being with my fair share of married women I can say that the person who is cheating is only driven by lust. They are really crazy for sex. Rest all nonsense is just an excuse to hide their guilt. Hence, do not be emotional in such situations. Nobody is at trial here. These debate that men always cheat or female are the victims will continue till eternity. There is no answer to that. Either this or they will find some other way to victimize themselves .So just be gone your own way, do not get attached to anyone or anything and keep no strings attached, in that case you can't betray anyone. Keep your conscience clear. Enjoy the fruit of sins that others have planted.
P.S - Use protection
one of the most horrible parts of life
Is that person really a doctor? So devoid of nuance and preachy af.
This is why trust divorce and break ups and lack of trust...happens...in intimacy...why should only men enjoy? It's better women stay with who's worth and loyalty
Introspection here,to the ladies WHY did the man seek sex outside the relationship?. Were you meeting his needs?. The same applies to a man. If the answers are NO,then who's fault is it.
Hug him back. That hard to get a male companion. Cast spell so he wont leave you.
I don't intend defend the guy for what he did or justify it any sense, but I've a more neutral question, are these couple having enough sex? Is she turning him down most of the times? (It can he also like in my case), HE should/has to meet her physical or emotional needs, what about other way around? Is he getting his needs met in this relationship.
How should couple (from man's perspective and from women's perspective) deal with this?
I'm not having sex with my wife because we are not getting along, I have the regular Sexual urges but can't afford buying prostitutes. In this situation as we (me & my wife) don't get along, I don't care if she makes boyfriends or hires prostitute or etc as I am seeing our marriage ending in divorce eventually. So I feel if I was popular with women or had enough money then having occasional sex wouldn't be wrong.
Here my premise is that if couple got along and both parties satisfied, then this question or situation wouldn't have arised, should only one sex be held responsible and blamed for it?
Looking forward to your serious response!
Today every one is doing of thier own and therefore god and goddess also giving us punishment of thier own
Vis a Vis this discussion is outdated .. Men & Women are free to fulfill their needs, which should be part of the marriage contract and not being an emotional wreck, instead be a fulcrum of an energy. I think we have more important social changes to be discussed than S3x. It's a biological need. Let's experience the need and fulfill to our hearts content not in the confines of a subject but with consciousness.
That's very painful for wife girlfriend..
Women can't be that in monogamy...home wreckers...but still even women men go against of they not satisfied
So this valuable conversation is meant for english speaking society not for Hindian society
With all due respects, in this discussion, there were a lot of assumptions made about the couple by both women and was biased. Unfortunately the answer went into the usual way of man vs. woman (always being the victim). Nothing was spoken about sexual compatibility between the couple. "Need" arises out of scarcity and that can happen to either man or woman. With both of you being experts on sex, I think addressing sexual compatibility issues would have been more appropriate (rather than making it primarily a gender specific issue). Couples don't even talk to each other about what they like or don't like in bed. So these issues are bound to happen.
And what about you?
One thing I will say who want to have multiple relationship just admit it and don't marry why should we suffer because of you?
Men have needs haha women too have needs so what they go and sleep with people great.
Just by the title... you must of had another headache
Ma'am
I really need your help......I wanna talk to u directly if possible for you.
May I help u
I help you sure ma'am
The sex is gift of God but unfortunately men and women had made this market ,with this god and goddess is unhappy with this
Disgusting..one cant imagine d level of energy exchange@sleeping wid a sex worker..pepl sleep wid housemaids even..how can one go to such lower level..
U can leave ur own husband and marriage and leave everything but u can't have sex with ur own husband?? Wtf?
seems dr Anvita , is full of theories and little about practical life in general.
Contract?
What the hell is Contract in a relationship?
Is She Ok?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Her need is first to be addressed, but others need also be considered.can
Before all this how do you even get sex in India, it is the toughest thing to do, then where is the question of doubting the partner. If you're getting, how do you get it? But not a sex worker..
Regretfully ,questioner should ask query to d point,short it seems she wants to display her communication skill, beating round d bush
He has no respect of marriage institution
Hello seema , what are the problems with doing sex with bthe partner we don't like.
your husband must be a lucky guy god bless him may be he get more $€%
Please mam hindi viewer hu koi solution dijiye 🙏🏼
They all talk about if a man first doing it...
Marriage is the most medieval, fascist and soul crushing experience. It's good for codependent people .. but if you are worth your salt, you will immediately find the fallacy of this ill-imposed retirement plan.
Embrace the suck and stop expecting stuff from people .. It's the victim mentality and too much talk and too little feeling that is creating this chasm in our private lives.
"Marriage is the most medieval, fascist and soul crushing experience. It's good for codependent people .. but if you are worth your salt, you will immediately find the fallacy of this ill-imposed retirement plan"
The only fallacy is your assumption of why you think ALL marriages and reasons to get married are the same. You assume people all people put the cart before the horse. When in fact many people choose marriage as a result of their Love for each other, not marriage as a means for Love or anything else related to marriage.
To understand the essence of what I just said requires more than just ones salt...it requires Consciousness. Which is what a successful marriage requires as well.
subtittle should be there...
Don,t make marriage market
The therapist is very judgemental and regressive
Unacceptable
Why are ok with cheating men or women std
How can it be a need. The question then arises can the wife do the same. And what happens this need gives rise to a baby.
How can it be a need. The question then arises can the wife do the same. And what happens this need gives rise to a baby.
Why do black women always flirting with me
Madam Pl teach men and women both to do their duties towards each other rather having a biased opinion towards men and start championing the cause of women majority of them who r nothing but a pain in the ass
Both sexes should not Dr Debra soh
Listen to Debra soh
Appreciate husband for providing income to a family in these testing times.
Read Debra soh
Seema Mam, i think you have beautiful Hair, please share your secret, as I am growing Bald very fast.
Seema...looking sensuous and knowledge is about sensuality
Don,t make sex market
Extramarital sex is still taboo?
Why they call themselves broad minded???😂😂
Clickbait & a lot of BS
Please mam Hindi me humko bataye
So exciting std
😂
Sex is everyone's need, even women. Unfortunately women are socialized to compromise against unmet needs that eventually lowers the sex drive. So at some level he isn't satisfying her emotionally as well as sexually. But she is stuck with an "honourable" Compromise and he got to sl*t out and rationalize it as a "need". If she would've cheated his entire family would be up in arms.
I understand women’s needs. But if you are subtly justifying adultery of women just because men do that crime, you are literally disgusting.
@@infinity_shows_149 that's a strawman argument as we're comparing the REACTION to male and female adultery and not the very act of it as being obviously unethical.
I'm a 30 yo guy and I know the psychology of a human male, how we think at 18 and how we think at 30.. I have seen a lot, kissed many, made out with some, slept with few, trust me on this, I can give a clear cut human male sex psychology.. like it, dislike it or ignore it, it is what it is and if you can't accept it then what are the circumstances
Cant accept what?
Which species are monogamous, which polygamous and Humans fall under which category and why?
Humans have reasoning ability! They can decide for themselves but in an institution like marriage this should be agreed on by both! There are open marriages too, but atleast one mustn't abuse the trust of the other. When you enter into it by insinuating that the relationship will be monogamous and then in future just blatantly without considering and atleast informing do the complete opposite! That's not acceptable
Too argumentative and of the mind to generalise stuff. How it relates to individual feelings, emotions, pain, trauma what make you do certain things.
Want to marry seema ji
ज्यादा कुछ समझ नहीं आया लेकिन मुद्दा पुरुष के अन्दर अधिक वासना का है। कारण स्पष्ट है प्रकृति से न जुड़ना और न ही धार्मिक ग्रंथों का अध्ययन न करना। अगर कोई भी व्यक्ति इन नियमों का पालन करे तो वैवाहिक जीवन में भी ब्रह्मचर्य का आचरण रहैगा
Bilkul sahi bola apne. Logo ka khud par koi control nahi hai aur usko need ka naam de dete hai
Aap kuch video hindi me be banye mamm bohat se log nahi samj pathe hai
Zionna Chana of Mizoram had 39 Wives & lived happily with him ..Why this lady is depressed when her husband is away for a few days.Sad demise of Alfa Indian Males happened when Sh Murarji Desai modified Hindu Marriage Act & forced Indian Males in to Monogamy making their lives dull & monotonous .When Dropadi could live in Polygandrous relations with Five Pandavas why not to allow Indian Males to practise Polygamy relationship why not Indian
Women in the time of Zionna Chana lived in hard-core male dominace. They did have the option to refuse to be with a Faithfull man. If this women would have been adulterous it would have been a shame to the entire family honour. If you support polygamy let it be both sides ( which is not the case) but of course women will be slit shamed.
Would you let your mother, sister, wife or any women related to you have 39 husbands?? What has happened in the past need not be not be prefect, and to make it sound correct if we give the logic that those did have multiple partners were happy why is it wrong?? still does not make wrong as right...!!! Many things have happened in the past which were wrong and many have done it and yet it remains wrong.. Its not the question of gender.. Would that husband be OK if his wife would do the same?? Answer will be straight no... And then to say that wife has a choice Is arrogance because she may have sarcficeda a lot for that relationship and is likely to be hurt just the way husband would be hurt if his wife would go to some gigolo to satisfy herself..
Waste video Totally meaningless
Yes it's a problem if women speak up, isn't it?
@@richardrunion when I said it's a problem when women speak,for everything don't connect with gender bias madam/sir whoever ur okay 👍
Seema ji looks so beautiful that she could give all the bollywood divas a run for their money
He may have some personal interest .that why he is talking in this way .
@@ajitpani2113 shouldn't matter to you my friend
@@maddymolu
Brother it is a joking do not mind .
I agree
111
Please do it in hindi virson also
Even one of the pair is cheating..they should separate better!!!..then no prob..
💕
🙏
Hi seems, would you like to be my gf..
th-cam.com/video/mR-iKn6geJ4/w-d-xo.html