4 things we've learned in 4 years as parents
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ก.ย. 2024
- Valuable lessons from our first 4 years of parenting! ► Get 70% off Reading.com’s annual price! Start your 7-day free trial by clicking the link here: reading.com/mel...
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Get 70% off Reading.com’s Annual price! Start your 7-day free trial by clicking the link here: reading.com/melaniemurphy 🥰💚💚💚
seeing parents overwhelmed having to
do it all makes me mad at how individualistic we've become as a society, like let's please raise children as a village i just wanna be an auntie 😩
love this. 💖
Something to keep in mind, for anyone considering whether or not to have children …is that unfortunately not all parents find parenthood fulfilling and rewarding. Most parents do say ‘it’s so hard but so worth it’. But for some the negative far outweighs the positive. Personally I wish I chose to remain childfree. Obviously there is no going back, and of course all children deserve a loving and supportive upbringing, and that is what mine will get. However, raising them has come at the cost of my own physical health, mental health, freedom and happiness. It is taboo to admit feeling this way, but I know I’m not the only one, and I feel it’s important to share that taking a chance on parenthood isn’t guaranteed to make your life better.
I was talking to someone the other day who doesn't have kids. They want one or two, but were concerned about not having enough time to fit in cleaning, exercise, home projects, etc. My response, was that magically your productivity improves 50%, the amount that you can do in a 45min time window is unfathomable. So I agree, if there was one whole day without your children at home, it seems like you could build an entire house haha.
I have an 8 month old little girl, she's our first. I've been following you for nearly a decade, and loved your parenting content prior to having my own, but am extra grateful for it all now. Thank you Melanie!
Hugs from Canada :)
Serious kudos to every parent out there! i've seen how hard it is really when I was constantly babysitting my nephews and decided to be childfree bc of it. Lots of people don't know what it truly takes to take care of children but you two seem to be doing such an amazing job! Much love to you 💚
I babysat a 2 year old a few years ago just for a few hours and found it so hard socially. Then again the mother was in the other room and I think it was mainly social anxiety. She was a very good little girl. If it was my own child I would be able to take the child with me about my day and then play with them in a more relaxed fashion.
@@GirlVersusWild oh yeah definitely! Ig my point is that having lots of experience with taking care of children can help you decide if it's really for you or is it just pressure from others or something else!
We have a 5 week old, and I think I was incredibly naive about the extent of work that raising a child would take. I get that a newborn can be more challenging, but even just thinking that this little person relies on us for absolutely everything. Food, clothing, shelter, fun, comfort, love. It truly changes every aspect of your life. Wonderful video, and I love the parenting ones. :)
"the reason you're angry is not the reason you think you're angry"
Yes! I try to explain this to my husband often, it's all about mood, tiredness, past experiences etc.
I'm so sorry for English speaking kids, your spelling and phonics just make no sense 😂
Yeah, no wonder they struggle
Love this video, and the sinceraty in it. I have a 1 and a half year old boy now and thinking about the second ( and how can I posibly handel 2). I love your parenting content especialy for giving me hope that it can be done. ❤
Leaving a comment for the algorithm
I heard theres a podcast called Sandwich Parenting for parents stuck between 2 generations of parenting. Might be worth a listen ❤❤
So many memorable nuggets of gold in this one! Congrats on 4 years of amazing work. Continue soaking it in- You are living the dream!
I am still so grateful at the lengths you go to with protecting your children and their privacy
Mom of 4 here and I really appreciate this video, parenting is definitely the best and hardest job I've ever had.
About Pan's picky eating, I obviously don't know the scope of it but have you heard of ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder)? If it's really severe and he will really only eat a few specific things, it's possible that it's not just standard picky eating but has become more of a disorder. If it is then knowing will help you figure out better ways to help him.
This is so interesting and I’m reading about it now! See sometimes he’ll try something new but then he won’t want it again or regularly if that makes sense…he eats: lentil pasta, homemade tomato sauce or hidden veggies sauce by Ballymaloe, sweet potato (if hidden in something lol), ready brek which is just fortified oats, milk (in ready brek), all nut butters - almond, peanut, cashew etc, flaxseed (mixed into stuff), eggs but only in pancakes, oat cakes, bananas, pear and prunes but ONLY blended like in the Ella pouches, chips or waffles but no longer eats mashed potato which was handy as he’d have beans mashed in! He’ll eat toast and butter, honey, any kind of chocolate (obvs) but we only buy 70% plus, he’ll drink smoothie…he’ll eat oat bars and all those kinda kiddie snacks but yeah very limited regarding fruit and veg, won’t eat rice or meat etc it’s not nearly as bad as some picky eaters! It’s not like he will only eat a certain brand of cracker ya know!? He just kinda only wants to try things that look exciting and sweet! He eats far better than I did as a kid. For years all I ate was coco pops, pop tarts, chocolate, crisps, cake and spaghetti bolognaise with the odd McDonalds 😂🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈 I didn’t eat well until my twenties! Xxx
@melaniemurphyofficial Sounds like he's doing ok for now but ARFID doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't eat any foods like that. There is generally a list of safe foods (which unfortunately can shrink which is when it can become more of an issue) that they will eat but basically will be unable to eat anything else.
I like learning about stuff like this from Dr Taylor Arnold aka growing.intuitive.eaters. She has a PhD in nutrition and is very knowledgeable but comes at it from such a healthy perspective, IMO.
I don't even have children but I watched all of this.
Commenting solely because of the reading 'rap' at the end - amazing!
The fact you guys laugh and play like this is beautiful ❤
I’m so excited to give this app a go! I studied primary Ed. I would recommend to yourself and other parents watching phonics classes on TH-cam short easy ones that are copies of what the teachers will do- just a small note I noticed you sound m as ummm and oum rather than mmm this will be important to differentiate but kids pick up changes and new info so fast it’s not an issue but as a fellow education lover just noticed!! I’m still struggling to work out speech with children who have different dialects or just accents, that’s my current new project! ❤
This was a really interesting video even when I don't have children 😊
I have a two month old and the feeling of freedom I felt after finishing my part of the night time routine and hopped on my bike to go to dance class was out of this world! 😂
That hour a week is a non-negotiable for me, it brings me back to myself and my body (which I'm learning how to love again, especially the mommy pooch and stretch marks 😢😅).
I don't always want to go because when it's late at night I rather spend time with her like Thomas said, but I know I'll be a better me bc that need of mine has been met, and so far I never regret going for a dance.
My 3.5 boy just got diagnosed with autism and everything about motherhood /parenting is breaking my heart because i feel like i failed him . I cried watching this . But it was really great reminder to be more present and to not neglect myself as I don’t have much support. Thank you so much Melanie ♥️ much love
As someone who got diagnosed with autism at the age of 27, you have not failed your son. You've recognised something about him is different and found out what that is, giving him the opportunity to have more support through his life and a way for people to understand him and most importantly for him to understand himself. You're doing amazing ❤️
@@aliceash396 ahh you have no idea how much this mean to me ♥️🫂 thank u
I have a day today where I’m without both kids. And my head has been spinning. I accomplished a bit but I can’t justify doing anything but sitting here after a certain point since these moments are so fleeting and rare lol
To your point about kids “HAVING” a hard time, I read this once and I was like wow that’s so great and true. And so when my son is flipping out I tell him he is having a hard time. Now he tells ME he is having a hard time. And we can (sometimes 😅) talk it out. Which I think is beautiful.
Your hair is making me nauseous btw lol so gorgeous!
I felt every part of this video. I have a 5 year old (whom gets way more screen time than he should - working on that) and a newly minted 1 year old (who has 6 front teeth and a molar and we are STRUGGLING with biting). With my oldest I worked outside the home in healthcare his whole little life, and I've just recently been able to be a stay at home mom as of mid August, adjustments everywhere we turn. We homeschool (miaacademy if someone is looking for a great program), so I'm trying to soak up all the moments I can, make up for missed time, and create memories with them. The 5 yr old doesn't sleep in our bed, I sleep in his ,been trying to break this off and on, but medical problems with my husband kept resetting this, plus the kid wakes up in the middle of the night looking for me, and I don't sleep through the night because if I'm in my bed, I'm anticipating him coming into my room. Baby is currently in the middle of hitting a bunch of milestones while her teeth are all working on coming in, so napping is a whole new game. Plus my brain is still trying to understand that I don't have a time limit to get household things done, unlike when I worked outside the home and felt like I couldn't keep up, much less tread water. 5 year old eats whatever he picks out of the things I can offer him that I know he'll eat, working on growing his tastes(was a great eater as a toddler - that went out the window with my work schedule), baby eats anything that isn't nailed down. 😂. This whole video made me feel like somehow we're living the same life, different countries.
Just want to say you're doing a great job ❤
Enjoyed this chat a lot! Miss these reflective chats about parenting :)
Enjoy your dance classes!
I'm a mom of 3 boys, ages 4 and under and I loved this video! You're right, a day without kids feels like years but also goes by so quickly lol I have found that having kids has made me appreciate and utilize time much better. I listen to my childfree friends talk and try to be empathetic or understanding when they say they "have no time" and I just nod and think of how much endless time they actually have lol
As for reading, my husband and I are big readers too so we definitely want to instill that love, skill and in our opinion, great hobby, in our boys! I was a teacher and it's so sad how much literacy and the love of reading seems to have become nonexistent in younger kids
🍀 My favorite Irish couple ☘️
Tanks for the realistic video - very helpful for me, a Fencesitter (tm). Can you describe ways it would be different if you had stopped after Pan?
I related to this video so much. It felt like it was me and my husband talking. You can feel so isolated in this wonderful and hard period of raising small kids, so thank you for offering me a sense of not being just us. ❤
If they won’t bite it it might be because their instincts are good. Only whole foods nothing processed. Rejecting dairy is quite understandable, and some fruit might be filled with pesticides, most fruit without a thick shell are vulnerable. Sometimes it aligns with a specific diet… but it must be very tough, cause healthy is not the norm. I cannot imagine planning everything ahead, you guys are rockstars. Handsome funny beautiful people, thank you! I am so glad I rediscovered your videos after years. Will use as bible when partner and kids roll in
Thomas saying "It's added protien" is so relatable XD
This was such a sweet video and as long as five years is, it is just that chunck of five years after that you get parts of it back that you can't imagine! Also love the sponsor so much! Like, I'm not having kids yet, but my best friend is and all I can look forward to is reading to her kid! I got so excited at the prospect of reading her kid Harry Potter when they move back here (cause that should be the timeframe those start to be appropriate unless life goes too pear shaped) and I'm SO excited!!
Upon being a parent I’ve found certain things important to me that I didn’t think of before becoming a parent. When I had my three I suddenly felt a strong desire to immerse them in their culture and make sure certain traditions are passed down. It was incredibly important to me that they spoke Irish so I enrolled them in Gaelscoils and made a conscious effort to speak Irish during dinner at home. I also made sure to sign them up for Comhaltas so they can play trad music. My eldest plays the fiddle and the other two play the tin whistle and bodhran. It was something I’d wished I’d done as a kid , I always tell them if they keep up the instruments they’ll always have a side hustle playing in a pub or different events. Things like that I didn’t really consider before becoming a parent that I now make a conscious effort to do for them.
Congratulations of 4 years of parenthood to both of you! It's lovely watching you both chat and I definitely follow you for the parenting chats as we are the same age, so many things you say about 90's childhoods resonate! Definitely going to try this app ! Thanks again x
I always had a quite naive outlook on raising children until I saw my 8 year older sister and her husband struggling so much. Their children are nine and thirteen now and although they always seemed like a healthy couple, their relationship is ruined. I think it is because they became parents very young and never worked on their own trauma and now their children have all their bad qualities combined and they are very overwhelmed. Whenever I am visiting, everyone is screaming at each other and the parents have like zero common gorund.
Love the idea of this reading app. I was ready to dismiss it because I hate most apps, but I love that you work with your child and that it's just a little bit each day or so! It made me rethink my stance on ipads. I have a 10 month old, and my stance was no ipads at all, but now I think you're right - we have to model a healthy relationship with technology. Which means I need to continue working on my relationship with technology because it could use some work!
1st 💚💚💚
Go to the park Tom! Take your kids with you! Take Twizzle Sticks with you!
Always exciting when it is a Melanie AND Thomas video 💚
That was so spot on :) thank you so much Melanie and Thomas
Melanie looking beautiful as always!💛
How handsome you both are:) ❤
Out of context: I've just finished watching Normal people and you're Daisy Edgar-Jones's twin