As someone who was a collegiate athlete that was suicidal...... Almost all of these parents failed to acknowledge that their own perfectionism may have played a role. I say this because I really hope more parents realize that sending your kid to the perfect school in the perfect neighborhood will not protect them from being a perfectionist to the point that they are suicidal.
I’m autistic and sadly one of my tendencies is perfectionism. My brain says ‘ if it’s not perfect it’s not good it’s not worth it. Everything must be perfect and according to plan ‘ through therapy I’ve gotten better.
@Taylor Monte Except, that isn't true, is it? Where exactly do you think their need to strive for perfectionism comes from? You can't ignore environment in your make up, it's as much a part of you as your genetics.
@Taylor Monte upbringings plays a big role for example if a child is raised in Christ to know the word of God that says we are to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ mental thoughts that lead to depression dont stand a chance. And parents idolize sports and perfection from their kids feeding that expectation towards them all the time. Im not saying it every case but a lack of Christian values because we go to church but we live as the world worship things of the world thats how we teach our kids, never goes well most times.
Young people, it's okay not to be the best. It's okay to fail and fall and fumble. It's okay not to have it figured out. Life is a journey. And sometimes you'll find that half of these "achievements" and "successes" you pushed yourself ragged for, weren't even worth it in the first place. Pace yourselves. Take care of yourselves. You are still valuable and enough, even without the accolades.
Yep, life is not about what you accomplish but what you overcome. Our society is obsessed with validation of success through status. Our culture insists on condemning failure. WRONG! Embrace failure, have plenty of failure. How do you conquer failure if you have no experience with it? Get so good at failure that you can laugh at it. Then you've won because you no longer fear it!
People don't understand that when you're at the top of your game and the game ends, you no longer know who you are. It's been your lifetime dream and when it's over the void is huge. It's realizing you're not being talked about anymore. This is a huge issue when you no longer feel validation through your sport. Please listen, I know other people and myself that have gone through this torment and were able to walk away. It's very real and your brain and heart hurt.
@@o.amoakohene8147 sometimes you’ve been gassed up by your parents or peers for superficial goals like captain of the team, AB Honor Roll, acceptance in college. When your self worth is wrapped up in accolades and all you’ve been subconsciously taught from your parental interactions that You receive love when you make them look good and your parents are successful and NEVER talk about their struggles or what tools they use to get through a tough time, it can be completely debilitating when up against challenging emotions while never understand that others have experienced them too. You automatically resort to thinking somethings wrong with you and that you couldn’t possibly come out on the other side of it. When reality TV first got popular they talked about how LOW some people felt after the cameras leave from following them around. I’m assuming it would feel something like what the OP spoke of.
Matthew 11:28-30 *Jesus said:* [28] Come to *Me,* all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. [29] Take *My* yoke upon you and learn from *Me,* for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. [30] For *My* yoke is easy and *My* burden is light.
@@juanitamullen1949 My heart breaks for you. I'm so sorry for your loss. May your memories of her be a blessing. I can not imagine your pain. Take care of yourself.
For everyone here who’s lost someone by suicide, I’m so very sorry. 😢 May you have strength to move forward in life and use your unbearable tragedies to help in one way or another. 💝 Sending comfort and love.
If you can, try to relate to him by bringing up your dark moments you overcame. My parents had the mental health talk and it made me feel more alone and like a freak.
@@brieb4317 maybe it's the way they said it, if in a judging tone...But they do really need to talk about it❤️ I struggled with depression in my teens and 20s and my mom was completely aloof
thats the thing that they are saying though it doesnt matter how much counslers there are, these kids are to pressured into being perfect by themselves so they would never see a psycologist in the first place even if there was 100 of them availble. trust me i know im a perfectionist and i would feel my reputation would be ruined not because I feel weak but because other people see you as weak and thats an unfortunate fact.
I appreciate Morgan’s mom mentioning that mental health is a chemical issue in one’s brain. So many people write it off as an emotion like when someone is sad about one thing, but it’s a horrific mindset that contains beliefs like the notion that there is no hope no matter what you do, the belief that you are better off not being here anymore, and that you should take steps so that you are not here anymore. Luckily I think mental health is starting to be taken more seriously by people, but unfortunately there’s still a big stigma and misunderstanding of it.
But it is a condition abot how u feelin. Pressure, prefectism, exhaustion, criticism, pain in the heart n mind. The parents mention these issues.It's just not a chemical in the brain. Wen u r feelin this way depressed, of course it affects u brain n body, it affects u mental health.
Takes more than DNA donors to successfully create an intelligent, adaptive, and aware human being. Lots of talk about how their children succeeded, but was the prize only more stress for them to achieve loftier goals? Stress from one's environment leads to very poor diet, very poor balance of all your body's functions, including the brain. Hence, so many "antidepressants" etc on the market at prices higher than gold, prescribed by doctors visited regularly by either a very intelligent woman, dressed straight out of Elle, bringing lunch from the most posh restaurant in whatever town. Something else to consider: read the manufacturers literature. That's online now. You will, majority of the time, find a description of the medication's biochemical interactions, ending with the line.......through a process not fully understood. Experience: 30+ years of being able to work, own a home, raise a great son because the second doctor i saw decades ago, understood that and we would keep experimenting, 6 months at a time until WE found what worked.
Thank you. My cousin will be buried tomorrow, same story. Fordham Uni, star student/teacher, just about to graduate, gone forever! Condolences to you all!
@@browncatwithblurredbackgro2461 Yep. Just what I'm sayin', let's get over the old tired social stigmas. We have to see that we are ALL on the scale of mental health. 😎
I agree with that and Being on social media like Facebook or Twitter or Instagram and Tiktok ain't helping your protecting your mental health either its destroying your mental health but by staying off them social media can have positive effects on mental health cause your not seeing the all the negative things on their and making you depressed or worried on how you look everything just go for a walk or listen to music that can ease the mind and always talk to someone about anything especially your parents or grandparents or a trusted friend who you can trust
It’s ridiculous how we worked and paid taxes and yet when your child has a mental breakdown there is no help…I had to take mine to Mexico…cause here is so expensive …
I was a young athlete, went to art school in nyc instead of college ball. The pressure to perform was unreal. Art school was literally killing people too!! Parents don’t push, ever.
I am a full-time 27 year old engineer. No kids. I live a full-on adult life where I pay my own bills and I live so far away from my family. It is me against the world. Let me tell you there are still times where I feel lost and I really do feel like a kid ! I am a woman so I feel good about proving the world that I can make it on my own just fine but I also want to sit down and cry at times because thinking of a solutions to a life problem becomes too much sometimes even at the age of 27 ( 2 years after graduation.) Young people just need to realize they are still kids and there is no point of overexerting themselves just to seem stronger to other people when they feel like a kid inside.
People don't understand depression unless you have it or have gone through it. You feel worthless no matter how much success you have personally. Because all you see is that thing you messed up. There is no control over it. It hits you like a baseball bat to the head out of the blue. You can be having fun one moment then a single thought enters your mind and that thought festers and ruins you it's all you can think about, it colors every thought. You just want it to stop. You want that torture to end. You can be rich beyond belief, famous, have the world in your hands it doesn't matter. That thought eats you alive. It's very hard to express that to someone.
It's true. I've been in hospital after being revived from a suicide attempt. I shouldn't be here but I am. You know what I learned the most from it? Depression hits all walks of life. I met a wealthy business man in the psych ward, a returned Mormon missionary( in fact, a lot of Mormon people were in there) a pre school teacher, a gifted painter and so many more. Depression doesn't care about who you are, its a chemical issue--period. Doesn't matter how successful you are, it'll get you.
@@Elegant_Sausage Although you are correct that it is a chemical issue you can recover from it. Life can go on and you need to learn what you are really on earth to do. One thing that sometimes helps is getting closer to nature and studying it. You must celebrate the pain of living and not run away from it.
@@deepattison9329 I understand you want to help but this is the point I was trying to make about people not understanding. When you have depression real depression you can't just go out and feel better. Believe me we don't take these choices lightly. It's akin to weathering a storm when you are in it it's all you see. You can't just rationalize it away. Each person has to find their answer to cope. Sometimes you just need a person that is just willing to listen without giving an opinion on how to fix your problem. Just listen without judgement. When they are ready to talk.
The perfectionism & constant judging is an element of so many areas that can be extremely damaging for some. For me, as a Classical violinist, it’s a similar message. We are expected to practice 6-8 hours a day on top of our classes, rehearsals, etc. The competition always threatens to push you out. Always a worry of not being good enough. I bet medicine is also demanding & high pressure. It’s so sad that these kids didn’t have any way to work through this. Society, coaches, educators, & parents need to reevaluate what messages we are giving & what is truly important. Winning isn’t everything & we are not the sum total of the thing we do….we are so much more than that. It’s a good reminder that we can & should talk about mental health.
Mental health needs to be addressed when a child is young because it is just what it says, healthy thinking. Teaching children to look at the world in a helpful way when they are young helps to insulate them in the future. It also is often reflected in physical health.
What stop me five years ago was thinking about how mentally strong my mother has been there for me. My grandma avoided bombs in Africa just to feed her family of 12 as a kid and I just think wow I'm grateful what they have done for me, but it's my mother was always open to talking to me, she would listen to me speak for 3 hours and would explain to me that no condition is permanent just pray and make sure to speak to your kids every day. Trust me it's an up hill battle but when I look back Im happy to be alive and whole today. Sadness is apart of life but remember life is only temporary so enjoy.
Yes , suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. When I get those evil thoughs my solution is to read my Bible specially Ps 91 OVER & OVER & PERSONALIZED IT TO MYSELF 💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
I love your awesome mom. That was what i needed from my mom too but sadly mine is not like that and mostly its been hard but you are so right it's all temporary.
I know you mean well but sadly not all illnesses are treatable and not everyone will be happy if they are forced to stay alive there are absolutely HORRIBLE untreatable illnesses out there that can sadly make a persons entire life torture they are more rare but they exist not everyone will be happy to be alive some people who end up with these horrendous diseases need assisted suicide. I agree that everyone should try and get help and the majority of people can get help and there life can get better but it's important to realize not everyones can sadly :(
I wish the conversation would include helping everyone, regardless of age. Mental health is something everyone struggles with, some learn to cope with it better than others.
This advice goes for Honors students too not just athletes! My college student felt like her brain was betraying her also. I’ve supported her to withdraw from school and take care of her mental health. Please listen to your young adults. They are experiencing great pressure in college. Mental Health Matters.🌹
This is sad, but the parents touched upon “perfectionism” in the students, but never admit it can be a flaw, and can drive people to suicide, or admit their pressure may have contributed. On the note of “reporting to parents”, these are legal adults, even if they are your kids. Universities have to let them be grown-ups. That’s the job of going to college. Violating their autonomy is not a solution.
However, recognizing problems and finding ways to address them is the job of the universities. Instructors and coaches often can see when a young person is pushing too hard. There is an implied mentoring in those relationships which helps protect young learners.
I in no way want to put blame on the parents. (This can happened to anyone) but, hearing the familes call the kids "Rockstars" and say things like "they could have done anything, they were stars". That let's me know exactly the pressure that these kids felt. Even in death they are still being overshadowed by their athleticism.
What Katie's parents are proposing is an opt-in program where the student chooses a "Designated Advocate", i.e., someone they trust, that the university would share information with in certain events (e.g., Academic Probation, Disciplinary Action, etc.). This gives the students the CHOICE of who information is shared with, or if it's shared with anyone at all. The university wouldn't be sharing information all willy-nilly. The Meyers have brought this initiative before the NCAA and have gotten very positive feedback so far. It's called Katie's Save - a fitting name given her position on the soccer field.
I was a student athlete in the late 80's playing baseball and it was tough. And there was NO social media back then. I can imagine how much tougher it is now for the kids with the training, studies. Training back in the 80's to play was nothing compared to what it is now. Diet, training, practice and then add keeping up with your studies. Especially if you want to make it to the next level. Not only do we need to take care of the young ones we also need to take care of the college ones. They are the future of this world! God bless these families!
Heart wrenching tears washed my face. I had a child away at school and it was a constant challenge each day making sure he was ok every step of the way. Being hundreds of miles away added to the pressure as you just never knew. God kept him and we are sooo grateful.
So much pressure is put on these outstanding children. They feel if they fail, they'll disappoint their parents etc. And its too much. They're children still. It starts in high school. Stop living through your children. And don't tell them they can handle it, be strong etc.
This too shall pass. I always tell myself this whenever facing adversity. I'm so grateful that social media was NOT around when I was in college. It deteriorates one's mental health, stripping them of self-esteem. Prayers to these parents.
I can related. I'm 55 and have suffered from a life time of depression and attempted to end my pain in 2004. Thankfully, I am still here. It's a monster that grips you by the soul, and refuses to let go. Throughout my life I also never discussed my issues with my family bc I didn't think they'd understand. Every day is still a battle, especially with all of the recent violence and tragedy in the news (I'm an emotional empath and soak up all of that sadness.), but with my Dr. I'm working thru it much better now. Sending prayers to all of the families affected by their losses. 🙏🕊️😔
I understand and I am 55 as well and struggled and still struggling with mental health. I pray you are doing OK today, Christina. Please stop watching the news as much as possible. Read your bible and pray. That is what has help and is truly the ONLY hope for us all. The bible warned over and over again what will be happening in these last days, but there is hope in Jesus Christ. Cast your cares upon him because he loves and cares for you. 2 Corinthians 10:5-6 "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled." Philippians 4:8 kjv “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” 1 Peter 5:6-10 6. Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: 7. Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. 8. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: 9. Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world. 10. But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.
Good lord, I am SO SORRY to all these mommas and Pappas... I want to hug you all. Thank you so much for sharing your stories and trying to help kids like mine. I wish you all well, your beautiful kids are so proud of what you are doing right now. Much love to you all.
Thank you all, I thought I talked about it all with my kids. Because of you I will talk to my kids tonight about mental health. I’m an SO SORRY for your loss 💔 😢
Thats right! It would help to know what is going on to our students while at college. Also, it helps to fail while you ae still in high school so you learn how to deal with it when parents are still there. The first failure is the worst. It can feel like the end of the world.
@@See-if_I_care I lived to raise my twin daughters, seen them grow into talented beautiful young ladies and mothers, them giving me 6 beautiful grandchildren. I reunited with my first husband after 25 years and we were together 18 years before his death, and I lived to see my mother die of old age. Yes, there have been many down times, but the good far out weighted the bad. And the rest is a mystery, I can’t wait to see how it turns out!!! Just kidding, just taking life as it comes now, I do like to watch a good mystery unfold though.
Its easy to blame mental health on lifes problems I find it hard to believe that so many people are just mentally ill. I think there is something going on in our culture thats shifting and not in a good way. Look at what people find acceptable today that even 10 years ago were unthinkable. Look at how our culture demonizes what is right and glorifies what is wrong. Why are so many kids becoming Trans that if they were taken out of public school and brought up in a normal environment wouldnt even think about it.
When I was a junior in college(2018), I was told that I shouldn’t be in school. I was really struggling. As any student would, I arranged office hours right before finals for any extra credits for that class. Instead of helping me with my class, my professor looked at me then proceeded to tell me how to withdraw from the university. I was beyond depressed and borderline suicidal and they did nothing and said nothing. 2021 I dropped out of college and gave up on everything. Be careful with prestigious universities, they are there for a paycheck and that’s it.
You are so right! And while you are racking up that huge debt, there is not even a guarantee that you will get a good job today! College is a joke if you ask me. And they certainly don't want to deal with anyone depression!
@@sunnytheboxer. I did a year at community college then transferred in. That was the deal they gave me. It’s called a “conditional acceptance” allowing me to go somewhere else then transfer to the university. I am planning on going back to school, but it was overall too traumatizing. I’m gonna take my time☺️
@@AnnaThe54 go back girl! Just do as many credits as you can at community. That’s what I’m doing. Makes no sense for me to transfer early just to pay for classes when I could take them at community college and get paid to take them!! I get a few thousand dollars a semester just for passing.
Really?? How do you get paid for that? Would be useful to make money off the thing that takes up most of my time, rather than having to fit multiple jobs into the only time I have left…so that I can pay to do that schoolwork instead lol
Parents put too much pressure on their kids. They react and respond to societal influences by, selfishly, living their life vicariously through their children. It's always been this way, I've seen and heard it time and time again. If they really cared about their child's happiness, they would love them unconditionally, no matter.
I think what people might be unaware of is there is situational depression vs a chemical imbalance. I have depression and anxiety and have since I was very young. With a chemical imbalance, you brain plays tricks on your pretty much. No amount of mind over matter fixes that. Sometimes you need therapy and medication in order to improve how you feel.
I see that as just feeling down about something, you're sad for a while but know you'll be fine when life's problems are dealt with, with real depression meds & therapy are a must, some are able to stop the meds and they're fine, for others(like myself) I'll needs meds the rest of my life.
Elizabeth, you have no idea what your talking about. there is no such thing as a chemical imbalance. it was made up by psychiatry and big pharma. whoever told you that are telling you BS. there is no test available to measure neurotransmitter levels in a living human brain. Go ask your doctor to measure your brain chemicals to see if you have an imbalance. they won’t know what to say because they can’t test them.
Bless the parents for coming forward and sharing their stories hope this helps families and individuals facing such struggles. This brought me to tears.
Someone mentioned being in your 20's is hard. Life is hard regardless. Ppl are just mean, negative. Its so much pressure. Its hard for everybody, you're getting up daily but crying behind the smile on your face.
Not only social media but our MEDIA, and our hateful political environment incited by our so called leaders is a disgrace. People are being pushed into identity groups and encouraged to fight and hate each other.
Beautiful young adults with such a bright future ahead of them. Most people will call them selfish. But I get it! I really get it. I hope that they all are at peace.
Thank you so much for this! I will talk to my three kids about mental health. Two of my kids are college students right now. Prior to this video, I didn’t understand how normal these kids and families are. This can happen to anyone! I know two of my kids have struggled with mental health. We just keep telling them to be strong and get through it. I now realize we have a lot of talking we need to do to determine what help they need. Thank you!!
it’s good that you notice that. NEVER say be strong, you’ll get through it. you need to listen and validate what they re feeling and not fix it. they need to help themselves.
As a college student, mental health is something I never thought about until college and it's something that needs to be discussed by both athletes and non-athletes.
When you indulge a shallow existence that requires a facade of endless perfection and a denial of authenticity and the innate human need for a quiet inner life and genuine friendships, where a person is accepted for who they are and not for what they’re expected to be, it must be suffocating to the human spirit. No wonder these people wanted to escape. This is a societal problem. Everyone bares responsibility here.
I was raised by overbearing, perfectionist parents and I was honestly so relieved when I went to college, and they could no longer receive updates on my progress or activities. K-12 they were constantly breathing down my neck, and every time I struggled with something they told me I was destined to fail at life. I often considered running away, but I always chickened out. If my college had continued the constant communication between itself and my parents, I am positive I would have snapped.
Donnie, the parents, except for the cheerleaders father, have accepted their part in pressuring their kids. Sports are not for fun anymore. Sports are about always winning and getting college scholarships. Club sports need to be shut down.
I COMPLETELY understand each & every single parent!!! My daughter Sierra Alese Mclean graduated high school June 9, 2020 and on June 15, 2020 my daughter Sierra committed suicide.. Mental health is an very sad & hurt to deal with. If I could have saved my daughter I would have.. It's just a sad situation and we all hurt.. Prayers goes out to each of them parents..
That was just so helpful. I don’t have kids but I’m an aunt. I’m always the one they turn to to chat/vent/share. Now I need to find a way to bring that up with my nieces and nephews so they know they can turn to me to discuss this openly.
My son took his life December 8th 2021, my life has changed and will never be the same. My son was 22. I’d give anything to bring him back. I have a pain in my heart that some say will heal but I don’t see it.
My eldest daughter attempted to self harm…I knew she was struggling & made her move in with me to keep an eye on her…We always talked & every day I reassured her…I made an ultimatum for her to see a therapist or I would intervene & take her in for a emergency psych evaluation… She showed me her appointment date to see her therapist…I felt better…As a nurse of 30 years, I did everything a health professional should do when presented with a situation like that EXCEPT for one thing…I DID NOT ASK HER “DO YOU HAVE A PLAN TO END YOUR LIFE “… We went to bed & the next morning I found her unconscious, surrounded by empty prescription bottles & a letter next to her… I called 911 & by God’s Grace she survived…She’s doing well 2 yrs post attempt… PLEASE ALWAYS ASK IF THEY HAVE A PLAN… more times than not a person will be truthful…but you gotta ask. 😉🌸✌🏽
Mental health issues are permanent for many, many people. Stop saying "it will get better" or "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." People who say these things are utterly ignorant about mental health.
Ups and downs are inevitable in life. The more favourable the situation, the humbler we need to be. Keep bitterness to ourselves and leave happiness to others.
I know. One of my son's ended his life. He felt he couldn't function anymore with the criticism from his step mother and Dad and the world's expectations.
Absolutely agree with Morgan’s mother stating “ask the question are you thinking of killing your self, don’t ask them are you thinking of hurting yourself.” The suicide line does not help you they are just as judgmental as social media, except they have more authority and use that authority against you. Instead of telling you the plan and course of action.
I still would not have answered honestly if ky parents asked me. Sometimes you can do and say and ask all the "right" things and still not know or not get truth and save them.
Anyone who is struggling out there, in case you dont have someone to tell you this, you are loved and you are enough. I am sending you love and a virtual hug💛🧡💜
As a former college student who came soooooo close to this being my fate, I feel so much for these families. College will break you down completely if you let it. RIP to all these beautiful kids. I hope heaven is amazing
@coolstuffaboutlife please know nothing stays the same - things will get better - usually when you least expect it. It’s around the corner. I remember that’s how I felt when I was 21 and now I have the best life I could wish for. Sending you a big giant hug 🤗 x
It is IMPOSSIBLE to know what is actually going on in the darker recesses of a persons mind. Even someone we think we know extremely well. People (especially the very young) keep secrets. If one has only appearances to judge by, everything looks just ducky. But things are anything but ducky. It's only AFTER a suicide that certain behaviors may have seemed out of the ordinary. But by then, it is too late. People (survivors) blame themselves; but they shouldn't.
I've made it very clear to people and asked for help when deep in depression. In reality, people avoid depressed people and kick you when down. Especially fake self proclaimed "healers" and "witches" turned their back on me. Only on TV they glamorize depression and suicide.
This is horrible and scary. I lost my brother to suicide and it broke me. It shattered me. I can not imagine the pain of being a parent in this situation. Just horrifying.
My Condolences to all the families. I applaud them for stepping up to bring this message to the forefront. When someone commits there is such a stigma around it. I know the family is grieving and it’s hard to discuss, but talking about it could save a life. Suicide Awareness is important. Knowing the back story helps I know people don’t like to discuss the details - one parent said her daughter was facing disciplinary action, one was already seeing a therapist, it would help to know if any of the kids had mental health issues as a child as well. I know the cheerleader alluded to in her last post that she had been battling it for a while and her mom said she had all the tools- I’m sure it’s painful to discuss but it can save lives. The discussion should be had at younger ages as well especially young athletes some kids even deal with the pressures when competing since a young age.
When they say “Depression is a temporary problem” it TRULY, REALLY, IS ONE DAY, it will become clear. ONE DAY, sadness will start to fade. ONE DAY, that smile, that laugh will be genuine. My ONE DAY took over 10 years, but my one day actually came. I drew a line between me and suicide, then I walked away from it. Sometimes I felt like that line got closer and closer to me and all I could do was turn my back on it while I sat on the edge knowing it was there. Pain was immeasurable. The way to not cross it was to put it behind you and take just one step forward away from that line. Find something that speaks to you no matter how absurd or stupid it seems to others and love it and cherish it more than yourself. If the one thing you loved is no longer what makes you happy or is the reason for being sad then drop it. It doesn’t have to be finished till the end, it was made complete the moment it stoped bringing you happiness. No one or nothing is more important than your life. For those who don’t have faith just realize that waking up the next day is already enough.
Yes. I wish there was a way to help them understand that it won't be this way forever, it actually will get better. I hear so many stories and my heart breaks because I keep saying I wish someone was there to help them see it doesn't stay bad forever
Want to hear more about the other girl's story I pray for these family's. All family's going through this. I struggle with it every single time. It truly is an ugly feeling to go through dealing with mental illness and the (s) word😢
Thank you for speaking out. I never speak about my suicide attempt because its so recent but watching this brings me one step closer to putting it out there. One day, I will. Thank you for sharing this! 💘
I remember once I wanted to drive into a truck because of toxic my family and parents are. I drop my family like hot bread doing it solo, other persons doing it solo with me we got this one storm at a time.
Condolences to the families on their loss... Thankyou for this interview as a single mum I've also covered all the "big talks" besides mental health...I will be giving my teenage kids the mental health talk today... Thankyou for being awareness...
I’m thankful I just watched this helping opening up the awareness. Sometimes we get caught up in the routine of life with our children, their sports, and more and forget to pay more attention at times. This struck a chord with myself as just earlier after picking up my daughter from a soccer meeting for next season the Varsity coach wanted her to try out coming from modified, just makes me think about the pressure involved after watching this. Then the other father mentioning how we as parents can push our children at times trying to live through them. It’s caused me to pause for a moment and think about this deeper than surface level as I can say my daughter is a strong person, however she does not express her emotions to a point that I know she is keeping them to herself, and that goes for everything - social media, the “friend” circle, etc. Thank you for sharing your experience, you are doing something positive in lite of this unimaginable tragedy all these parents have experienced.
OMG! That brings back some tough memories. The sad thing is when you are in that sad biochemically induced depression you can see no other way out. Many people live through these episodes not by miracle, but circumstance. I know for myself back in college days the only reason I wasn't successful in killing myself was fear of the grossness of it. The brains on the wall. The getting caught. I still sadly have days where I think if I could just put myself in danger, so that it's not suicide, just wrong place and time . The mental plans I've made to make it look like an accident. It's like brain gets stuck/ obsessive over getting it done. I'm so glad that was never successful life is great for now, but I know lurking in the background is a spell of depression that I may not be able to stop.
Can totally relate to your statement I fear I'll cave on one of my bad days I've gone up and down so many times I always tell myself when I'm good you'll be fine you can get threw it you have before but then the gnawing depression returns and it gets harder and harder to fight
My 37 yrs old brother, Michael, attempted to take his life on the morning of June 14th 2021. He passed away on June 20th 2021. Both of those days are forever ingrained into my memory. I miss him terribly, every single day.
Thanks to each of these families for doing the brave and vulnerable thing by bringing this into the light. Everything they are saying is useful and helpful!
As someone who was a collegiate athlete that was suicidal...... Almost all of these parents failed to acknowledge that their own perfectionism may have played a role. I say this because I really hope more parents realize that sending your kid to the perfect school in the perfect neighborhood will not protect them from being a perfectionist to the point that they are suicidal.
Preach!!
The brother (black guy) was the only one who brought up the parents expectations on their kids. 3:10
I’m autistic and sadly one of my tendencies is perfectionism. My brain says ‘ if it’s not perfect it’s not good it’s not worth it. Everything must be perfect and according to plan ‘ through therapy I’ve gotten better.
@Taylor Monte Except, that isn't true, is it? Where exactly do you think their need to strive for perfectionism comes from? You can't ignore environment in your make up, it's as much a part of you as your genetics.
@Taylor Monte upbringings plays a big role for example if a child is raised in Christ to know the word of God that says we are to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ mental thoughts that lead to depression dont stand a chance. And parents idolize sports and perfection from their kids feeding that expectation towards them all the time. Im not saying it every case but a lack of Christian values because we go to church but we live as the world worship things of the world thats how we teach our kids, never goes well most times.
Young people, it's okay not to be the best. It's okay to fail and fall and fumble. It's okay not to have it figured out. Life is a journey. And sometimes you'll find that half of these "achievements" and "successes" you pushed yourself ragged for, weren't even worth it in the first place. Pace yourselves. Take care of yourselves. You are still valuable and enough, even without the accolades.
Completely agree!!!!
Yep, life is not about what you accomplish but what you overcome. Our society is obsessed with validation of success through status. Our culture insists on condemning failure. WRONG! Embrace failure, have plenty of failure. How do you conquer failure if you have no experience with it? Get so good at failure that you can laugh at it. Then you've won because you no longer fear it!
ALLOW YOURSELF TO MAKE A FEW MISTAKES ONCE AN WHILE BUT ALSO LEARN FROM THEM AN HOW TO GET PAST THEM🙂
Super Amen! Very well said.
Well said. Perfectionism can have a dark side for some
People don't understand that when you're at the top of your game and the game ends, you no longer know who you are. It's been your lifetime dream and when it's over the void is huge. It's realizing you're not being talked about anymore. This is a huge issue when you no longer feel validation through your sport. Please listen, I know other people and myself that have gone through this torment and were able to walk away. It's very real and your brain and heart hurt.
Yes, I completely agree. We need to stop having our number 1 goal being success.
Learn how to get off that ladder when it's over and start doing something else.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that and you can now talk about it. Thank you for the comment, it might save a life.
@@o.amoakohene8147 easier said than done
@@o.amoakohene8147 sometimes you’ve been gassed up by your parents or peers for superficial goals like captain of the team, AB Honor Roll, acceptance in college.
When your self worth is wrapped up in accolades and all you’ve been subconsciously taught from your parental interactions that You receive love when you make them look good and your parents are successful and NEVER talk about their struggles or what tools they use to get through a tough time, it can be completely debilitating when up against challenging emotions while never understand that others have experienced them too. You automatically resort to thinking somethings wrong with you and that you couldn’t possibly come out on the other side of it.
When reality TV first got popular they talked about how LOW some people felt after the cameras leave from following them around. I’m assuming it would feel something like what the OP spoke of.
My daughter survived suicide attempt. I still worry. This is so heartbreaking. It's hard to find good support and to keep her compliant.
I am so sorry to hear about your struggle.
Matthew 11:28-30
*Jesus said:*
[28] Come to *Me,* all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
[29] Take *My* yoke upon you and learn from *Me,* for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
[30] For *My* yoke is easy and *My* burden is light.
@@juanitamullen1949 My heart breaks for you. I'm so sorry for your loss. May your memories of her be a blessing. I can not imagine your pain. Take care of yourself.
Keep getting her help. Our cousin succeeded on her 4th attempt. She had just graduated high school the week before.
For everyone here who’s lost someone by suicide, I’m so very sorry. 😢 May you have strength to move forward in life and use your unbearable tragedies to help in one way or another. 💝 Sending comfort and love.
I've talked about everything with my son except mental health. That subject didn't cross my brain, but now will definitely bring it up. Thank you.
If you can, try to relate to him by bringing up your dark moments you overcame. My parents had the mental health talk and it made me feel more alone and like a freak.
@@brieb4317 maybe it's the way they said it, if in a judging tone...But they do really need to talk about it❤️
I struggled with depression in my teens and 20s and my mom was completely aloof
@@komrad7907 I didn’t say for them not to talk about it….
@@brieb4317 ahh I see 😔
Sports psychologists need be on every campus, high school and college. No families should have to go through this. Heartbreaking.
thats the thing that they are saying though it doesnt matter how much counslers there are, these kids are to pressured into being perfect by themselves so they would never see a psycologist in the first place even if there was 100 of them availble. trust me i know im a perfectionist and i would feel my reputation would be ruined not because I feel weak but because other people see you as weak and thats an unfortunate fact.
Pushing drugs is a disaster..these are toxic chemicals that actually cause suicide...
@@Bambotb psychologists (the majority) don't have the ability to prescribe medication.
I appreciate Morgan’s mom mentioning that mental health is a chemical issue in one’s brain. So many people write it off as an emotion like when someone is sad about one thing, but it’s a horrific mindset that contains beliefs like the notion that there is no hope no matter what you do, the belief that you are better off not being here anymore, and that you should take steps so that you are not here anymore. Luckily I think mental health is starting to be taken more seriously by people, but unfortunately there’s still a big stigma and misunderstanding of it.
Bravo! Well said. Thank you.
Blessed Be 🙌
But it is a condition abot how u feelin. Pressure, prefectism, exhaustion, criticism, pain in the heart n mind. The parents mention these issues.It's just not a chemical in the brain. Wen u r feelin this way depressed, of course it affects u brain n body, it affects u mental health.
It's a chemical imbalance, they really don't know when to someone it goes burzek on other while it does NOTHING ON OTHER .It's stiil a MYSTERY 🙄🙄🙄
Takes more than DNA donors to successfully create an intelligent, adaptive, and aware human being. Lots of talk about how their children succeeded, but was the prize only more stress for them to achieve loftier goals? Stress from one's environment leads to very poor diet, very poor balance of all your body's functions, including the brain.
Hence, so many "antidepressants" etc on the market at prices higher than gold, prescribed by doctors visited regularly by either a very intelligent woman, dressed straight out of Elle, bringing lunch from the most posh restaurant in whatever town.
Something else to consider: read the manufacturers literature. That's online now. You will, majority of the time, find a description of the medication's biochemical interactions, ending with the line.......through a process not fully understood.
Experience: 30+ years of being able to work, own a home, raise a great son because the second doctor i saw decades ago, understood that and we would keep experimenting, 6 months at a time until WE found what worked.
And yet there were no red flags.
So sorry for your tremendous loss, what beautiful way to honor your children! Thank you
There are always red flags. One Father said it right..."we try to live our lives through our children.." that was spot on.
He really struck a cord with that one. Very powerful words he said.
@@DaMushroomBit Platform
Thank you. My cousin will be buried tomorrow, same story. Fordham Uni, star student/teacher, just about to graduate, gone forever! Condolences to you all!
OMG. I am so sorry for your loss.
@@heatherlane8532 Bless you Heather!
So sorry for your loss!
@@changeme8035 thank you
Oh wow, I’m a Fordham Alumni..sending condolences your way
Our mental health needs to be discussed, not ignored. My heart goes out to all suffering from depression. You are not alone.
@@browncatwithblurredbackgro2461 Yep. Just what I'm sayin', let's get over the old tired social stigmas. We have to see that we are ALL on the scale of mental health. 😎
I truly appreciate these parents being so courageous and helping others prevent this! Bless them.
This just shows that there needs to be more affordable/more talked about mental health for teenagers and early adults in America.
I agree with that and Being on social media like Facebook or Twitter or Instagram and Tiktok ain't helping your protecting your mental health either its destroying your mental health but by staying off them social media can have positive effects on mental health cause your not seeing the all the negative things on their and making you depressed or worried on how you look everything just go for a walk or listen to music that can ease the mind and always talk to someone about anything especially your parents or grandparents or a trusted friend who you can trust
It’s ridiculous how we worked and paid taxes and yet when your child has a mental breakdown there is no help…I had to take mine to Mexico…cause here is so expensive …
We need better mental health options for everyone.
I was a young athlete, went to art school in nyc instead of college ball. The pressure to perform was unreal. Art school was literally killing people too!! Parents don’t push, ever.
I am a full-time 27 year old engineer. No kids. I live a full-on adult life where I pay my own bills and I live so far away from my family. It is me against the world. Let me tell you there are still times where I feel lost and I really do feel like a kid ! I am a woman so I feel good about proving the world that I can make it on my own just fine but I also want to sit down and cry at times because thinking of a solutions to a life problem becomes too much sometimes even at the age of 27 ( 2 years after graduation.) Young people just need to realize they are still kids and there is no point of overexerting themselves just to seem stronger to other people when they feel like a kid inside.
Amazing and strong woman you are. I wish all the best for you in your life and future endeavors 💝
Thank-you for your honesty. I hope you find ease to all the pressure.
18 to 21 are such hard years so many changes
Absolutely, you can’t live for others you can only live for you and God. You are a strong person
You sound like my daughter 😔Love & light to you my dear. ❣️❣️❣️
People don't understand depression unless you have it or have gone through it. You feel worthless no matter how much success you have personally. Because all you see is that thing you messed up. There is no control over it. It hits you like a baseball bat to the head out of the blue. You can be having fun one moment then a single thought enters your mind and that thought festers and ruins you it's all you can think about, it colors every thought. You just want it to stop. You want that torture to end. You can be rich beyond belief, famous, have the world in your hands it doesn't matter. That thought eats you alive. It's very hard to express that to someone.
Brilliant explanation - what got me through was a couple of real friends
It's true. I've been in hospital after being revived from a suicide attempt. I shouldn't be here but I am. You know what I learned the most from it? Depression hits all walks of life. I met a wealthy business man in the psych ward, a returned Mormon missionary( in fact, a lot of Mormon people were in there) a pre school teacher, a gifted painter and so many more. Depression doesn't care about who you are, its a chemical issue--period. Doesn't matter how successful you are, it'll get you.
I love your explanation of this. It’s exactly that!
@@Elegant_Sausage Although you are correct that it is a chemical issue you can recover from it. Life can go on and you need to learn what you are really on earth to do. One thing that sometimes helps is getting closer to nature and studying it. You must celebrate the pain of living and not run away from it.
@@deepattison9329 I understand you want to help but this is the point I was trying to make about people not understanding. When you have depression real depression you can't just go out and feel better. Believe me we don't take these choices lightly. It's akin to weathering a storm when you are in it it's all you see. You can't just rationalize it away. Each person has to find their answer to cope. Sometimes you just need a person that is just willing to listen without giving an opinion on how to fix your problem. Just listen without judgement. When they are ready to talk.
The perfectionism & constant judging is an element of so many areas that can be extremely damaging for some. For me, as a Classical violinist, it’s a similar message. We are expected to practice 6-8 hours a day on top of our classes, rehearsals, etc. The competition always threatens to push you out. Always a worry of not being good enough. I bet medicine is also demanding & high pressure. It’s so sad that these kids didn’t have any way to work through this. Society, coaches, educators, & parents need to reevaluate what messages we are giving & what is truly important. Winning isn’t everything & we are not the sum total of the thing we do….we are so much more than that. It’s a good reminder that we can & should talk about mental health.
Mental health needs to be addressed when a child is young because it is just what it says, healthy thinking. Teaching children to look at the world in a helpful way when they are young helps to insulate them in the future. It also is often reflected in physical health.
@@deepattison9329 yes agreed
What stop me five years ago was thinking about how mentally strong my mother has been there for me. My grandma avoided bombs in Africa just to feed her family of 12 as a kid and I just think wow I'm grateful what they have done for me, but it's my mother was always open to talking to me, she would listen to me speak for 3 hours and would explain to me that no condition is permanent just pray and make sure to speak to your kids every day. Trust me it's an up hill battle but when I look back Im happy to be alive and whole today. Sadness is apart of life but remember life is only temporary so enjoy.
Yes , suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. When I get those evil thoughs my solution is to read my Bible specially Ps 91 OVER & OVER & PERSONALIZED IT TO MYSELF 💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
I love your awesome mom. That was what i needed from my mom too but sadly mine is not like that and mostly its been hard but you are so right it's all temporary.
I know you mean well but sadly not all illnesses are treatable and not everyone will be happy if they are forced to stay alive there are absolutely HORRIBLE untreatable illnesses out there that can sadly make a persons entire life torture they are more rare but they exist not everyone will be happy to be alive some people who end up with these horrendous diseases need assisted suicide. I agree that everyone should try and get help and the majority of people can get help and there life can get better but it's important to realize not everyones can sadly :(
I wish the conversation would include helping everyone, regardless of age. Mental health is something everyone struggles with, some learn to cope with it better than others.
Amen and I too struggle. Sometimes it can get worse with age. I know my hope and help lies with Jesus Christ.
This advice goes for Honors students too not just athletes! My college student felt like her brain was betraying her also. I’ve supported her to withdraw from school and take care of her mental health. Please listen to your young adults. They are experiencing great pressure in college. Mental Health Matters.🌹
Indeed and so true.
This is sad, but the parents touched upon “perfectionism” in the students, but never admit it can be a flaw, and can drive people to suicide, or admit their pressure may have contributed. On the note of “reporting to parents”, these are legal adults, even if they are your kids. Universities have to let them be grown-ups. That’s the job of going to college. Violating their autonomy is not a solution.
However, recognizing problems and finding ways to address them is the job of the universities. Instructors and coaches often can see when a young person is pushing too hard. There is an implied mentoring in those relationships which helps protect young learners.
I in no way want to put blame on the parents. (This can happened to anyone) but, hearing the familes call the kids "Rockstars" and say things like "they could have done anything, they were stars". That let's me know exactly the pressure that these kids felt. Even in death they are still being overshadowed by their athleticism.
@@breezeh1127 Yup.
What Katie's parents are proposing is an opt-in program where the student chooses a "Designated Advocate", i.e., someone they trust, that the university would share information with in certain events (e.g., Academic Probation, Disciplinary Action, etc.). This gives the students the CHOICE of who information is shared with, or if it's shared with anyone at all. The university wouldn't be sharing information all willy-nilly. The Meyers have brought this initiative before the NCAA and have gotten very positive feedback so far. It's called Katie's Save - a fitting name given her position on the soccer field.
I was a student athlete in the late 80's playing baseball and it was tough. And there was NO social media back then. I can imagine how much tougher it is now for the kids with the training, studies. Training back in the 80's to play was nothing compared to what it is now. Diet, training, practice and then add keeping up with your studies. Especially if you want to make it to the next level. Not only do we need to take care of the young ones we also need to take care of the college ones. They are the future of this world! God bless these families!
Add to that the pressure of politics in schools... When I was in college, in the 80s too, politics generally took a back seat to learning.
Heart wrenching tears washed my face. I had a child away at school and it was a constant challenge each day making sure he was ok every step of the way. Being hundreds of miles away added to the pressure as you just never knew. God kept him and we are sooo grateful.
I know exactly what you mean but it is worth it when it succeeds.
So much pressure is put on these outstanding children. They feel if they fail, they'll disappoint their parents etc. And its too much. They're children still. It starts in high school. Stop living through your children. And don't tell them they can handle it, be strong etc.
This too shall pass. I always tell myself this whenever facing adversity. I'm so grateful that social media was NOT around when I was in college. It deteriorates one's mental health, stripping them of self-esteem. Prayers to these parents.
Sometimes it doesn't pass for so long it feels like it won't.
This too shall pass, and we'll all pass. Death is inevitable.
I can related. I'm 55 and have suffered from a life time of depression and attempted to end my pain in 2004. Thankfully, I am still here. It's a monster that grips you by the soul, and refuses to let go. Throughout my life I also never discussed my issues with my family bc I didn't think they'd understand. Every day is still a battle, especially with all of the recent violence and tragedy in the news (I'm an emotional empath and soak up all of that sadness.), but with my Dr. I'm working thru it much better now. Sending prayers to all of the families affected by their losses. 🙏🕊️😔
I'm glad that you are still here and that you have a dr to work with you. 🙏🏾❤
I understand and I am 55 as well and struggled and still struggling with mental health. I pray you are doing OK today, Christina. Please stop watching the news as much as possible. Read your bible and pray. That is what has help and is truly the ONLY hope for us all. The bible warned over and over again what will be happening in these last days, but there is hope in Jesus Christ. Cast your cares upon him because he loves and cares for you.
2 Corinthians 10:5-6
"Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled."
Philippians 4:8 kjv
“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
1 Peter 5:6-10
6. Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:
7. Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
8. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
9. Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.
10. But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.
as a single parent of 2 impressionable young girls I truly appreciate this advice 🙏 THANK YOU and your loss is not in vain . keep up the awareness!!
Good lord, I am SO SORRY to all these mommas and Pappas... I want to hug you all. Thank you so much for sharing your stories and trying to help kids like mine. I wish you all well, your beautiful kids are so proud of what you are doing right now. Much love to you all.
Thank you all, I thought I talked about it all with my kids. Because of you I will talk to my kids tonight about mental health. I’m an SO SORRY for your loss 💔 😢
My daughter is struggling now!! Getting therapy every week. I constantly watch her and talk to her about mental health!!!
The way they light up when talking about their kids at the beginning, warms my heart 💓 god give them strength 🙏🙏
Thats right! It would help to know what is going on to our students while at college. Also, it helps to fail while you ae still in high school so you learn how to deal with it when parents are still there. The first failure is the worst. It can feel like the end of the world.
I lost a great nephew 24, and a great niece 30, to suicide. I attempted suicide, thank God I lived to see what came next.
So what came next?
@@See-if_I_care I lived to raise my twin daughters, seen them grow into talented beautiful young ladies and mothers, them giving me 6 beautiful grandchildren. I reunited with my first husband after 25 years and we were together 18 years before his death, and I lived to see my mother die of old age. Yes, there have been many down times, but the good far out weighted the bad. And the rest is a mystery, I can’t wait to see how it turns out!!! Just kidding, just taking life as it comes now, I do like to watch a good mystery unfold though.
Mental health is the root of almost everything.
Childhood sexual abuse destroys lives.
Its easy to blame mental health on lifes problems I find it hard to believe that so many people are just mentally ill. I think there is something going on in our culture thats shifting and not in a good way. Look at what people find acceptable today that even 10 years ago were unthinkable. Look at how our culture demonizes what is right and glorifies what is wrong. Why are so many kids becoming Trans that if they were taken out of public school and brought up in a normal environment wouldnt even think about it.
@@jamesolson7179 basically you're saying that if everyone believed like you, everything would be fine.
@@davidgordon7673 agreed
But only in America mental illness people's commit suicide why?
Bravo parents! You are so courageous and this will result in saving lives. Thank you so much. Sending 💖
When I was a junior in college(2018), I was told that I shouldn’t be in school. I was really struggling. As any student would, I arranged office hours right before finals for any extra credits for that class. Instead of helping me with my class, my professor looked at me then proceeded to tell me how to withdraw from the university. I was beyond depressed and borderline suicidal and they did nothing and said nothing.
2021 I dropped out of college and gave up on everything.
Be careful with prestigious universities, they are there for a paycheck and that’s it.
You are so right! And while you are racking up that huge debt, there is not even a guarantee that you will get a good job today! College is a joke if you ask me. And they certainly don't want to deal with anyone depression!
Go to community college. It’s way better. Professors care more and they have more resources available for free!
@@sunnytheboxer. I did a year at community college then transferred in. That was the deal they gave me. It’s called a “conditional acceptance” allowing me to go somewhere else then transfer to the university.
I am planning on going back to school, but it was overall too traumatizing.
I’m gonna take my time☺️
@@AnnaThe54 go back girl! Just do as many credits as you can at community. That’s what I’m doing. Makes no sense for me to transfer early just to pay for classes when I could take them at community college and get paid to take them!! I get a few thousand dollars a semester just for passing.
Really?? How do you get paid for that? Would be useful to make money off the thing that takes up most of my time, rather than having to fit multiple jobs into the only time I have left…so that I can pay to do that schoolwork instead lol
Parents put too much pressure on their kids. They react and respond to societal influences by, selfishly, living their life vicariously through their children. It's always been this way, I've seen and heard it time and time again. If they really cared about their child's happiness, they would love them unconditionally, no matter.
4 humans we needed in this world, good, loving, caring kids who would have done phenomenal things as adults.
I think about doing it every single day. I’m mostly still here for my parents. Don’t want them to go through losing me
I know what you mean mate
Hi Ryan. Have you ever spoken to anyone about how you feel? I'm praying for you.
Hang on. This too shall pass.
Never give up. May Jesus Christ comfort, heal and strengthen you always.❤️
Sending you love ❤️ hang in there
I feel bad for these young kids, they needed time to rest their minds & body. Social media is world pressure not peer pressure.
It's both, but what they didn't mention it that it's NOT real life.
I think what people might be unaware of is there is situational depression vs a chemical imbalance. I have depression and anxiety and have since I was very young. With a chemical imbalance, you brain plays tricks on your pretty much. No amount of mind over matter fixes that. Sometimes you need therapy and medication in order to improve how you feel.
I see that as just feeling down about something, you're sad for a while but know you'll be fine when life's problems are dealt with, with real depression meds & therapy are a must, some are able to stop the meds and they're fine, for others(like myself) I'll needs meds the rest of my life.
Elizabeth, you have no idea what your talking about. there is no such thing as a chemical imbalance. it was made up by psychiatry and big pharma. whoever told you that are telling you BS. there is no test available to measure neurotransmitter levels in a living human brain. Go ask your doctor to measure your brain chemicals to see if you have an imbalance. they won’t know what to say because they can’t test them.
but it stems from the parents
@@bkirstie what stems from the parents?
Bless the parents for coming forward and sharing their stories hope this helps families and individuals facing such struggles. This brought me to tears.
Someone mentioned being in your 20's is hard. Life is hard regardless. Ppl are just mean, negative. Its so much pressure. Its hard for everybody, you're getting up daily but crying behind the smile on your face.
The Mother who said "social media" and she is 1,000% right. My heart goes out to thier families and friends. 💔😪
Not only social media but our MEDIA, and our hateful political environment incited by our so called leaders is a disgrace. People are being pushed into identity groups and encouraged to fight and hate each other.
@@tubester4567 Your thinking is both brilliant & true. You put it so very well. 😪
Beautiful young adults with such a bright future ahead of them. Most people will call them selfish. But I get it! I really get it. I hope that they all are at peace.
Thank you so much for this! I will talk to my three kids about mental health. Two of my kids are college students right now. Prior to this video, I didn’t understand how normal these kids and families are. This can happen to anyone! I know two of my kids have struggled with mental health. We just keep telling them to be strong and get through it. I now realize we have a lot of talking we need to do to determine what help they need. Thank you!!
don’t let them go on any psych meds and they will be okay.
it’s good that you notice that. NEVER say be strong, you’ll get through it. you need to listen and validate what they re feeling and not fix it. they need to help themselves.
As a college student, mental health is something I never thought about until college and it's something that needs to be discussed by both athletes and non-athletes.
When you indulge a shallow existence that requires a facade of endless perfection and a denial of authenticity and the innate human need for a quiet inner life and genuine friendships, where a person is accepted for who they are and not for what they’re expected to be, it must be suffocating to the human spirit. No wonder these people wanted to escape. This is a societal problem. Everyone bares responsibility here.
I was raised by overbearing, perfectionist parents and I was honestly so relieved when I went to college, and they could no longer receive updates on my progress or activities. K-12 they were constantly breathing down my neck, and every time I struggled with something they told me I was destined to fail at life. I often considered running away, but I always chickened out. If my college had continued the constant communication between itself and my parents, I am positive I would have snapped.
Donnie, the parents, except for the cheerleaders father, have accepted their part in pressuring their kids. Sports are not for fun anymore. Sports are about always winning and getting college scholarships. Club sports need to be shut down.
I COMPLETELY understand each & every single parent!!! My daughter Sierra Alese Mclean graduated high school June 9, 2020 and on June 15, 2020 my daughter Sierra committed suicide.. Mental health is an very sad & hurt to deal with. If I could have saved my daughter I would have.. It's just a sad situation and we all hurt.. Prayers goes out to each of them parents..
I’m so very sorry for your loss-I’m part of this club as well Bradley Austin Joiner 7/31/1993-7/2/2019. Suicide-it’s so hard to understand.
I'm so sorry for the lost of your beautiful daughter.
@@skjoiner1234 My condolences to you and your family on your lost of your son.
It is so sad that our young adults who have everything to live for, are not happy 😔. RIP 🙏.
Know GOD
Know Life
No GOD
No Life
Praying for the parents and family🙏🙏🙏
My son is a student athlete and my heart goes out to you all. May their memories comfort you all and bring you peace ✌️
That was just so helpful. I don’t have kids but I’m an aunt. I’m always the one they turn to to chat/vent/share. Now I need to find a way to bring that up with my nieces and nephews so they know they can turn to me to discuss this openly.
Mental health is real. Prayers to the family ❤️
My son took his life December 8th 2021, my life has changed and will never be the same. My son was 22. I’d give anything to bring him back. I have a pain in my heart that some say will heal but I don’t see it.
I lost my son due to a car accident but it's the worst to lose a child to suicide the guilt is tremendous
This heartbreaking and unbelievable. These kids were phenomenal. They had attractive, intelligence, and athleticism. They needed support.
My eldest daughter attempted to self harm…I knew she was struggling & made her move in with me to keep an eye on her…We always talked & every day I reassured her…I made an ultimatum for her to see a therapist or I would intervene & take her in for a emergency psych evaluation…
She showed me her appointment date to see her therapist…I felt better…As a nurse of 30 years, I did everything a health professional should do when presented with a situation like that EXCEPT for one thing…I DID NOT ASK HER “DO YOU HAVE A PLAN TO END YOUR LIFE “…
We went to bed & the next morning I found her unconscious, surrounded by empty prescription bottles & a letter next to her…
I called 911 & by God’s Grace she survived…She’s doing well 2 yrs post attempt…
PLEASE ALWAYS ASK IF THEY HAVE A PLAN…
more times than not a person will be truthful…but you gotta ask.
😉🌸✌🏽
RIP all beautiful ones! My boyfriend took his life in 2016. It's a pain that never goes away! God Bless all these parents ❤
Mental health issues are permanent for many, many people. Stop saying "it will get better" or "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." People who say these things are utterly ignorant about mental health.
Ups and downs are inevitable in life.
The more favourable the situation,
the humbler we need to be.
Keep bitterness to ourselves
and leave happiness to others.
The saddest and most painful motions for any parents. "Rest In Peace" for the mentally affected souls.. God Bless..
hugs to the parents.
Support your kids. They are not meant to be perfect. Love them as they are , flaws & all.
I know. One of my son's ended his life.
He felt he couldn't function anymore with the criticism from his step mother and Dad and the world's expectations.
So many beautiful young souls. I hope this video can save some lives.
Absolutely agree with Morgan’s mother stating “ask the question are you thinking of killing your self, don’t ask them are you thinking of hurting yourself.” The suicide line does not help you they are just as judgmental as social media, except they have more authority and use that authority against you. Instead of telling you the plan and course of action.
I still would not have answered honestly if ky parents asked me. Sometimes you can do and say and ask all the "right" things and still not know or not get truth and save them.
Anyone who is struggling out there, in case you dont have someone to tell you this, you are loved and you are enough. I am sending you love and a virtual hug💛🧡💜
As a former college student who came soooooo close to this being my fate, I feel so much for these families. College will break you down completely if you let it. RIP to all these beautiful kids. I hope heaven is amazing
I feel your pain I lost my son in September. Gut wrenching so true you are correct!
I don't do sports but I'm 21 and I have serious depression. I basically don't have a life. Don't have friends or anything and it's hard
@coolstuffaboutlife please know nothing stays the same - things will get better - usually when you least expect it. It’s around the corner. I remember that’s how I felt when I was 21 and now I have the best life I could wish for. Sending you a big giant hug 🤗 x
@@lyng340 my life is just hard
@@lyng340 I was even considering suicide
44 and same. At 21 i was the itsy bitsy spider still trying. I must say i have a better sound mind than i did at 22 or 30.
@@serenity2655 yeah just my life sucks. Too much pain and depression
It is IMPOSSIBLE to know what is actually going on in the darker recesses of a persons mind. Even someone we think we know extremely well. People (especially the very young) keep secrets. If one has only appearances to judge by, everything looks just ducky. But things are anything but ducky. It's only AFTER a suicide that certain behaviors may have seemed out of the ordinary. But by then, it is too late. People (survivors) blame themselves; but they shouldn't.
I've made it very clear to people and asked for help when deep in depression. In reality, people avoid depressed people and kick you when down. Especially fake self proclaimed "healers" and "witches" turned their back on me. Only on TV they glamorize depression and suicide.
This almost happen to my child. I'm glad I made myself available when she wanted to talk
i think that's the best thing u did mom. Prayers to your family.
This is horrible and scary. I lost my brother to suicide and it broke me. It shattered me. I can not imagine the pain of being a parent in this situation. Just horrifying.
I am so sorry 😞.
Incredibly brave parents.
Thank you all for speaking out about this crucial issue.
Bless you all. ♥️ from 🇬🇧
I am so very sorry for your loss. It is so very sad. What you are all doing is what other parents need to hear.
My Condolences to all the families. I applaud them for stepping up to bring this message to the forefront. When someone commits there is such a stigma around it. I know the family is grieving and it’s hard to discuss, but talking about it could save a life. Suicide Awareness is important. Knowing the back story helps I know people don’t like to discuss the details - one parent said her daughter was facing disciplinary action, one was already seeing a therapist, it would help to know if any of the kids had mental health issues as a child as well. I know the cheerleader alluded to in her last post that she had been battling it for a while and her mom said she had all the tools- I’m sure it’s painful to discuss but it can save lives. The discussion should be had at younger ages as well especially young athletes some kids even deal with the pressures when competing since a young age.
When they say “Depression is a temporary problem” it TRULY, REALLY, IS
ONE DAY, it will become clear. ONE DAY, sadness will start to fade. ONE DAY, that smile, that laugh will be genuine.
My ONE DAY took over 10 years, but my one day actually came.
I drew a line between me and suicide, then I walked away from it.
Sometimes I felt like that line got closer and closer to me and all I could do was turn my back on it while I sat on the edge knowing it was there. Pain was immeasurable.
The way to not cross it was to put it behind you and take just one step forward away from that line.
Find something that speaks to you no matter how absurd or stupid it seems to others and love it and cherish it more than yourself.
If the one thing you loved is no longer what makes you happy or is the reason for being sad then drop it.
It doesn’t have to be finished till the end, it was made complete the moment it stoped bringing you happiness.
No one or nothing is more important than your life.
For those who don’t have faith just realize that waking up the next day is already enough.
Yes. I wish there was a way to help them understand that it won't be this way forever, it actually will get better. I hear so many stories and my heart breaks because I keep saying I wish someone was there to help them see it doesn't stay bad forever
That is so moving. Thank you for sharing your story.
I’m still waiting for that day.
@@kimberlysnyder4087 im proud of u for just trying to keep going . I will say a prayer for u
I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Thank you for your comment it might save a life.
You can tell they were extremely loving parents
Want to hear more about the other girl's story
I pray for these family's. All family's going through this.
I struggle with it every single time.
It truly is an ugly feeling to go through dealing with mental illness and the (s) word😢
Thank you for speaking out. I never speak about my suicide attempt because its so recent but watching this brings me one step closer to putting it out there. One day, I will. Thank you for sharing this! 💘
Thank you soo much for doing this. Helps alot of Families out.
I remember once I wanted to drive into a truck because of toxic my family and parents are. I drop my family like hot bread doing it solo, other persons doing it solo with me we got this one storm at a time.
me too. i can’t be around any family member. i get too nervous and triggered.
Condolences to the families on their loss... Thankyou for this interview as a single mum I've also covered all the "big talks" besides mental health...I will be giving my teenage kids the mental health talk today... Thankyou for being awareness...
May they all rest in peace and lots of prayers 🙏 to the families
I’m thankful I just watched this helping opening up the awareness. Sometimes we get caught up in the routine of life with our children, their sports, and more and forget to pay more attention at times. This struck a chord with myself as just earlier after picking up my daughter from a soccer meeting for next season the Varsity coach wanted her to try out coming from modified, just makes me think about the pressure involved after watching this. Then the other father mentioning how we as parents can push our children at times trying to live through them. It’s caused me to pause for a moment and think about this deeper than surface level as I can say my daughter is a strong person, however she does not express her emotions to a point that I know she is keeping them to herself, and that goes for everything - social media, the “friend” circle, etc. Thank you for sharing your experience, you are doing something positive in lite of this unimaginable tragedy all these parents have experienced.
OMG! That brings back some tough memories. The sad thing is when you are in that sad biochemically induced depression you can see no other way out. Many people live through these episodes not by miracle, but circumstance. I know for myself back in college days the only reason I wasn't successful in killing myself was fear of the grossness of it. The brains on the wall. The getting caught. I still sadly have days where I think if I could just put myself in danger, so that it's not suicide, just wrong place and time
. The mental plans I've made to make it look like an accident. It's like brain gets stuck/ obsessive over getting it done. I'm so glad that was never successful life is great for now, but I know lurking in the background is a spell of depression that I may not be able to stop.
I'm praying for you. You matter more than you know. ❤️
Can totally relate to your statement I fear I'll cave on one of my bad days I've gone up and down so many times I always tell myself when I'm good you'll be fine you can get threw it you have before but then the gnawing depression returns and it gets harder and harder to fight
Prayer sent!
This is soooooo very sad. Everything to give. My deepest sympathies.
So sorry for your loss😓😓😓
5:48. I love the supportive tap on the leg that Mrs Meyer did to Mr Miller. And how her husband supported her. by taking her hand...on the left❤️💔❤️😪
I am so sorry for all of your loss! My condolences for you!
So much pressure are put on these kids. They're afraid of slipping. It's so sad. I'm sorry for your loss. May their souls RIP 🙏
The pressure starts in the family. You can tell these parents contributed to it.
We try to live ourselves through them, that hit me, waw! That is true
God bless them..loving how they support one another. This is love and pain 💔
Loved hearing about them from their parents 🥺
My 37 yrs old brother, Michael, attempted to take his life on the morning of June 14th 2021. He passed away on June 20th 2021. Both of those days are forever ingrained into my memory. I miss him terribly, every single day.
Thank You as a former athlete!
Thanks to each of these families for doing the brave and vulnerable thing by bringing this into the light. Everything they are saying is useful and helpful!
I agree ..social media has a tremendous impact on mental health