Girl, you have digested the whole freakin 'tasting menu' of abuse, neglect, brainwashing, exploitation and gas-lighting - from multiple religious cults, no less! - and come out the other side a functioning person with grace and humour. I know you said you've still got stuff you carry but - boy! - if your resilience and openness could be bottled, you be a gazillionaire. Take great care of yourself, Rachel. Thanks for bringing her to us, Shelise.
I feel like this is a story that perfectly shows how abuse breeds desperation, and then that desperation makes you a perfect victim for *other* abusers. This is exactly what makes serial abuse (by completely different people!) so common.
When you dont have a baseline of healthy boundaries...bcoz the concept doesnt even exist in your mind,you never lerned it,...its unbelievable ,how many ppl come "out of the woods" to abuse you just bcoz tbey can ,bcoz you ll tolerate
Rachel... You're kind. You're smart. You're interesting. You're beautiful. You're compassionate. They tried but they didn't break you. I am so very proud of you and I love that you are in charge and in control of your decisions and life. Thank you for sharing your story and being an inspiration to others.
Thank you for sharing Rachel! Alot of us have experienced trauma here and there, but the constant control of others about how to act, dress, etc had to be so destructive to you self-confidence. Good for you for being an advocate for yoursel and happy you found some in the church that helped you alongthe way
What she said about getting punished for not having the right expression on her face brought back memories for me of spending hours in front of a mirror as a teenager, practicing the most neutral expression possible so that I wouldn't get punished for having the wrong expression on my face. It took me years as an adult to feel safe having facial expressions. It's amazing how far she's come, given what she went through.
Damn! I still have trouble with that and I was never in a cult. Men expect my face to be held in a certain way or else they get pissy. How dare I have an opinion that is not positive.
@@leona2222 Respectfully, you have no idea what it’s actually like. Having a random guy with an inflated ego tell you to smile, is not anything close to us having our own parents beat us for just looking normal. Does it suck that every woman experiences those men? Of course. Is this the space to complain about it? Definitely not. It’s kind of a slap in the face to those of us who were abused for looking normal. Because the lady interviewed is probably too sweet to tell you this, I’ll be the b!tch, because I know she didn’t like your comparison.
The family/parents refusing to provide for their 12 year old daughters, defining them as adults when they were really only little girls - and pushing them into the arms of predators - makes me so, _so_ angry! I wish this strong and brave young lady all the best!❤
Every single bad thing she experienced is traced back to that decision by her parents. They forced their daughters into an impossible situation where they felt the only way forward to make money was by selling their bodies…. And then the churches instead of recognizing how sexual trauma can lead to sexually explicit/inappropriate behaviors in children, they blamed her for it and said she was either lying about it all or that she had seduced the men that took advantage of her young body and young mind
I know all about buying my own clothes at 12. Because I didn't like my mother's taste in clothes when shopping, she refused to buy me clothes and told me if I didn't like it, then I had to buy my own from then on. And she meant it. Not easy, but a lot is learned. 🙏❤️🙏
demanding to be economically independent; yet too young to legally earn. My thought hearing that was - what was the signal for boys to be responsible for their own living costs?
Many do it because they want to reenact things they wished they could've done to others but couldn't. My "father" hurt me and my sister in ways oddly similar to how our mom told him and others the abuse she suffered by her step (or half, I don't know and don't care) brothers. People can and will be monsters sometimes, and it's horrifying
I am so sad you had to go through what you have had to experience. Also, that much of the horrible treatment was supposed to be in God's name. My God is a God of love, not of abuse. I am sending you love and kindness. You are so strong. Keep healing, and enjoy your life. ❤
Then you've never tried to love a child with realtrauma. I was one. Lots of self sabotage lots of lying lots of at risk behaviors plus we don't trust that you're actually gonna love us and 99% can't handle their love being rejected. You'd be Shocked.
I’m a recovering alcoholic and from Ireland and listening to Rachael describing the home she was sent to for counselling sounds exactly like the rehab, which was run by Catholic nuns, I went to! Lockdown at 11pm, night watchman coming around at 6am kicking our doors to wake us up! If anyone messed up they were put on report and denied privileges! And after 3 months of that it still took me a full year to get sober! Rachael I am absolutely delighted that you got out and I wish you a very happy life, you deserve it honey! Px
I remember Rachel being a part of an amish church that was in fellowship with the amish church I grew up in. My heart went out to you Rachel. So sorry that you experienced the abuse you did. Filled with indignation over here 😡
Rachel you are a rock star! Unbelievable strength that proves you are meant to be here and live a prosperous life. Be so proud of yourself! Your soul is absolutely beautiful ❤
I live driving distance from Lancaster, PA. We have Amish and Mennonite Farm market vendors all over our entire region, and people constantly hire them for building projects around their homes and businesses. My naive younger self used to think it was so neat we had this community that embraced the old school trades and were so self-sufficient with small businesses and substinence farming, etc. Now I just cannot respect the rampant abuse of both children and animals and how it is all normalized and covered up. The older I get, the more it seems religiosity correlates with awful behavior, abuse, and just completely skewed morals. The more strict and fundamentalist the sect, the more women, children, and animals are treated like tools and possessions to use and abuse in every sort of way. And crimes and bad deeds are so quickly covered up in order to preserve the fake image of piety and moral superiority.
Same. I live in Philly and often go out to Lancaster and grew up in the suburbs surrounded by Mennonite churches. Really interested to listen to this. Didn’t realize how awful the Amish were until Shelise.
We lived in Kentucky near some and they had a roadside stand. Their mama could make the best BlackBerry cobbler strudel I'm not sure what they called it but oh my gosh stuff is like heaven it was so good. So I go into the little store and the guy behind the counter stiffens. Realizes I'm alone and absconds to his house like he saw a fire. Out walks one of his sisters, pinning her dress as she comes down the path clearly rushing. I apologized to her and asked what the cultural rule is? She said, before you've come with your husband. This is the first time you've come without him. Our unmarried sons can't talk to married women unless the husband is part of the chat too. Told her he had deployed but I love their baked goods and we usually have a lovely chat about the things chickens get up to. Said said on Tuesdays I run this stall most often. Would it be too much to ask you come on Tuesdays? No ma'am not at all. I'm metaphorically stepping into your world, I just need to know the rules so I don't cause any other bachelors running about any surprise. I asked if my male chaperone has to be my famoly for that to work or it must be my husband? She giggled and said chaperones are for courting but she understood what I was asking. Any male I brought with me from then on was my brother. The normal cashier guy seemed relieved when i showed up with a brother chaperone the next week. 😂 my mother would deep belly laugh when I send her sibling selfies of us on our way there. I was an only child, so any kid that was my friend was also my new sibling. I would send my mom the selfies I'd takewith my "brother" and then our food haul. Send them to her. The family that ran the stand understood quickly, I'm actually an only child. But with a ton of men who are willing to be my brother for a whole sour cream cake just for them. The rear d brothers you get when your spouse and most of the unit deploys is exactly the same as getting real brothers. Endless practical jokes. Also the races of my brothers never matched me😂😂😂 endless jokes about jodi. Everything from their stand was marvelous. ❤ the rules made for funny photos and lots of brothers who still call me random holidays😂being funny. I hope this lady finds her peace and her person. She deserves a king worthy of the queen soul she earned in the forge of her life. ❤🎉
Keep going Rachel!! Im Ex-Amish, but im blown away by the range of your experiences. Dont worry about church for a while, is my advice. It sounds like you're building your own community. Sometimes thats all anybody needs. Cheers!
As a liberal Christian I believe that God gently holds those abused by 'people of faith', and any rejection of faith is accepted as a valid response to the pain. I accept that individuals may not want to affirm anything relating to faith, and I would never seek to ask them to do so
Trauma driven behavior is so often interpreted as willful misbehavior. Most well intended families would not have the skills to discern the difference. Rachel’s story exemplifies this perfectly.
Yes, It seems pain begets pain begets more pain. I am Mennonite and I am hurt by the blame on our well meaning people. We do not traffick. We offer shelter and food to the hurting. But imperfect and human we are. So sorry for all the tremendous amount of pain you've gone thru, Rachel .
It’s true.. Jesus calls them a brood of vipers. He also spoke of them being outside being of looking like white deflectors and inside being… dead man’s bones. ….. I know all to well…. My rice is a cloistered nun….. it broke my heart to be a witness to that tragedy. She has been there since 2008. My sister in law is now luring other family members to go visit her in her self inflicted jail cell. It too is a cult. She believed that she is Isaac, the firstborn sacrifice. 😢 It’s a crying shame what her parents did to her. The firstborn son went to be a priest, but he changed his mind one month before committing himself there to that life… he is out, but she’s still locked in there. She started in Nebraska in PA.. now might be moved to Canada… Jesuit sect of Catholic Church. 😢
Did you see the new vice & virtue law passed in Afghanistan this week 😢 women now are forbidden to speak in public & cannot sing or read too loudly in their own home. Really thinking about those women right now 🫂
@@alc4ever24 The Republicans that waddled in there in the first place because can't have the Commies having the poppy fields, rolled back out when propping up violent dictators just wasn't trendy any more, then played shocked when the person they trained and armed did what literally anyone could have expected and caused misery and suffering for 20 years. Yeah whatever far right to far right mess you call a political spectrum is amazing
Thankyou for exposing this fr. I stepped forward about 2 years ago with the truth after leaving the conservative mennonites and my dad was arrested for molesting all 7 of my siblings. So much abuse goes on in those groups. So glad yall are sharing the truth!
@rachelnicolecarter6254 thankyou. It was so so hard and in definitely still struggling to get on my feet but what is important is my mom and my siblings are out now.
Shelise - I've seen a lot of your videos. You and Jonathan always make amazing interviews but this one is a standout. I think this might be the most bewilderingly outraged I've ever seen you, and it really underscores just how monstrous Rachel's story is. If this isn't the story for torches and pitchforks, why do we even have those things at all? Thank you for having Rachel on, even as hard to hear as it is Rachel - Thank you for telling your story I hope each second that carries you from that past does something better than the last. You ARE the through line, but not in the way those jerks said.
I am so sorry that anyone would ever use Jesus or a religion to abuse and neglect you. Those people will answer to our maker for their actions. My heart hurts for your hurt. I appreciate your honesty so much! Praying the Lord blesses you.
It's not just parents in this religion. There are many toxic parents. They're our coworkers, family, friends, etc. but behind closed doors they don't care, nurture, or love their children. They hate themselves and also hate everyone else. Yet because they look normal and the children look cared for no one bats an eye. Thank you for being a loving parent because not every parent is.
Towards the beginning of your story you said you had to learn to stop loving and my heart just broke. I've felt that before where you just shut down and go numb its safer to feel nothing than feel the pain. Then by the end of the story you said you've been learning to love again and I practically cheered out loud. I cried from sadness at first then I was happy crying by the end. You are truly incredible and your ability to tell your story so flawlessly and in a cohesive way left me in suspension the whole time. And people deal with trauma in so many ways and no way is right or wrong but the fact that your energy is so positive and just a pure light is amazing and refreshing and just a true testament to the resilience of people. Best of wishes to you thank you for sharing!
How ironic, she is discussing not being believed her whole life when going forward about her abuse, and there are comments here expressing not believing her. And people wonder why victims don’t report. Kudos to you, Shelise, for calling these victim blamers out on their behavior.
You are HEARD & BELIEVED & YOU HAVE BEEN SO BRAVE NAVIGATING THROUGH the most twisted perversions of truth, love, & all the related varied abuses. You have been heroic. You are an inspiration!!!
I find it absolutely amazing that so many people in your life failed you and were abusive to you yet at the end of the video, you offer to help others. What an incredible person you are! ❤
I can't imagine being 17 and thinking that my friend is dying and there's nothing I can do to save them, and the fact she chose to get in the bed so she wouldn't die alone? yeah I've been crying for the past 10 minutes
I am just starting the episode and I just have to commend you (Shalice) on the way you are empathetic and the level of soft comfortable love you provide for these survivors. I love you and love what you are doing here. I am so proud of you! And much love to the guest of this episode. I am proud of you too Rachel! Keep pushing baby! You are a strong beautiful woman! You are loved and worthy! ❤
When you come from a really dysfunctional family situation it heightens one's vulnerability to highly controlling cults and religious groups. And in Rachel's case it seems that each situation led to the next and she was on a roller coaster of abuse and harm with a few good people sprinkled in. Thank heavens for the good people who helped Rachel to get to where she is now. Love that she has two boxers that help her. Hope that life continues to get better. What Rachel said about wanting to get to where you enjoy life and laugh again, that's strength. 💞💕💞
I hope these woman move & have a wonderful life outside the cults & realize there’s so much more to life than organized religion & 🤞🏻 they remain safe after telling their story’s!!!
@@MissDebra Dear Miss Debra, you have complete authority over your own words and behaviours, and I appreciate your concern, but as a person who was born and raised into Christianity with no choice, I can use whatever name I want for whatever I want. Please refrain from policing people's expression.
I think she has done an amazing job at continuing to try to find love and acceptance in the midst of abuse, tumult, and frustration. I do find it interesting that, although she was not actually a member of that church, she still felt like she needed to sneak around to do the singing. I guess it was because, since she wasn't all in on the Holdeman idea of Christ-like living, she was worried that if she didn't comply she would have been pushed away from the church?? Or what exactly? I don't question her story; to be frank, I think that in any culture, in any area of the country, region, or world, where there are humans, there will be sneaky predators that are very good liers, and have the wool pulled over the eyes of those that "know them best". And then "those that know them best" will be prone, if they're not following the Holy Spirit closely enough, to push away as liars those that are trying to help in the community. I also think, although there are too many predators in Christian churches, and Catholic churches, there are far, far more predators in the world at large who certainly hold absolutely no desire to start to consider that there's a God who watches and will judge their actions. But I do think she is likely leaving out a substantial amount of the story. When you've gone through the amount of trauma that she went through in her young life, you don't enter into a conservative church community with the "tools" to right away conform to the "acceptable" manners, and the way one carries oneself, and the "proper" demure way of holding oneself apart from the opposite sex while still being able to interact with them. I wouldn't be surprised, then, if her usual way of interacting with the opposite sex was seen as provocative and forward, and flirty, which would not have gone over well at all. That would also have caused a wariness of her within the ministry and skew a "her word against his word" situation that hindered her and helped him. Then, her bringing it up to begin with would have caused an even higher level of wariness towards her and anything she would say. There's a fair bit of ground that needs to be gained on this issue of "her word against his" in the Mennonite conservative churches. Unfortunately, the amount of women lying about things like this in the general world (and there certainly are _plenty_ of situations where it has happened, so don't try to pretend it's not going on) is not doing anything to create a better circle of trust for women coming forward to speak on their terrifying SA situations that have originated with church-going "spiritual" men. Just a sad, bad situation all around. A big dose of grace and love goes a long ways...
Rachel, after all you’ve been through, I find it amazing that you are up, breathing, coping, and now beginning to thrive in spite of the hardships (and that’s putting it mildly) in your life. I don’t know where you live right now, but I have some wonderful, loving Christian friends in Ohio and northern KY who would love to share life with you. Some I have known for 40 years, some less. Thank you for your courage and tenacity and the love of Jesus so evident in your life. God saved you for such a time as this and to be a voice for those who have none. 💕
Thank you for bringing this story to light. I'm so glad Rachel is breaking her silence and moving back toward her passions. You both deserve all the love and support you're finding. All religions are cults, none of them can help you with medical issues.
I am sorry that has been your experience but it is worth noting that there is a big difference between religion and a relationship with God. There are lots of people in churches that do have authentic relationships with God and sometimes miraculous healing does happen.
Some of the people who helped me along the path to a healthier lifestyle were Christians whose love motivated them into medical service and volunteer work. They truly wanted to help and serve and share the love Jesus put in their hearts, the same love that had healed them up from the hurts life in this broken world inflicted upon them! I'm sorry if that has not been your experience, but there really are some very kind, patient and loving medical people who want to serve and help victims and people in need! These very kind and patient people will not steal away your right to choose the direction of your own life! But please do remember that we are all on a path, and many of us have been in the wrong place, and have been confused about the truth in the past. I am thankful to be in a healthier place now than I was 20 years ago.
No one should have to deal with abuse, let alone having to choose which abuser to go home to. I'm so glad that you made it to the other side where you could reclaim who you are and really become someone that you like and are happy with :) That's a great message about feeling stuck as well, and not just for those who are stuck in an abusive situation. I feel like I've been stuck in a number of ways that have me feeling aimless and going through times where hope is hard to find. But it's always good to be reminded to nice forward, even if you don't know which direction to move in.
I have watched every single episode of your podcast and....my goodness. I cried so many times on this one. I cried in solidarity through some of the emotions of despair, some of the emotions of medical mismanagement on your behalf (Im a health care professional), and also so many tears on your behalf because of how absolutely unfathomable it is that you made it out of not one, not two, three, four or even just five abusive homes/situations. Rachel, you are a force of nature. You are a weapon that demonstrates the power of love and the power behind truly seeing an individual for everything they are;a human being. Congratulations and best wishes on your freedom. You, above anyone else, is deserving of your own love. Go get em' tiger!
It's so sad that so many systems failed her-- family, religious organizations included! It's heartbreaking to hear how much trauma can be caused by organized religion! It makes me curious, how many children and young adults are suffering without a way out!!😢😮😢
Good job Rachel. How brave you are to share your story! Thank you for allowing us to hear it. You are so articulate and intelligent. And amazing to find yourself again. Keep singing and laughing out loud and celebrating life!
The way her face lit up when talking about the dogs and her goals to start laughing and having fun again in her 30s, that made me cry 😭😭♥️ Honestly imo your 30s are the best time for that though, for anyone I think! I'm just rediscovering my love for art and painting which I don't think I could have in my 20s for fear of judgement. Wish you alllll the best on your onward journey to happiness ❤
My parents were “normal” then started church hopping. We were never accepted fully by any of the churches because we weren’t born into it. Fundamentalist but they visited several different cults. Amish, Mennonite, Baptist fundamentalist and several others in between. Thank you so much for sharing! It really shines encouragement to find healing for others.
These abusers are the ones who should be ashamed of themselves. I hope that anyone who abused this good woman are shown the error of ways & gets whatever they deserve. Maam you are doing amazing & deserve every happiness you can claw from this world. Don't let anyone force you into a mold & tell you what to do. You should be very proud of how far you've come & how far you will go.
Rachel, the fact that you are alive is amazing. What courage to speak out when it has been unbelievably hard, may you find joy and sing loud, laugh, cry, hug your dogs and find friends that hear you. My eldest child is becoming a counselor and has faced her own trauma, and there is no doubt professional care is the only way to go. May you find more freedom every day. Unconditional Love- what a gift to give.
Wow! What an incredible strong resilient inspiration of a woman you are, Rachel! I watch every single ‘episode’ of Cults to Consciousness and am always amazed by the guests, and our beautiful host, but the way you tell your story, you have a real gift and I think you could help so many girls and women if you chose to keep using your voice in such a way! Wishing you the absolute best life and all the love and happiness in the world, you really do deserve it all! ❤ Linda Listen: F**k the Patriarchy!!
As a mother, this story made me so angry at all the adults in your life that failed you. I am so, so sorry and I hope that life has something beautiful for you. All the best for you girl!
I am 21 minutes into this story, and I am absolutely heartbroken. This is one of the most extreme and painful stories I have heard. I am so incredibly sorry you went through this, and I am so incredibly proud of you for surviving it and making it out. This story got me crying.
Rachel, you are so very brave. Your story is crazy. I don't know how you made it through, but I am very glad that you have. You come across as a kind, compassionate, intelligent and caring person and I wish you all the very best for your future. You will help so many by sharing your story. Thank you xx
Amazing woman - having gone through so much and still being sane and honest and brave… such an inspiration thank you sorry you’ve been through all this sh*t my family were Lutheran too in Denmark ❤❤❤
I have never related to an interview more! For myself, coming from an abusive household I ran to multiple church groups through out my life to try to find a community and ended up in less severe but similar groups. It's so nice to hear someone else expressing that unique feeling that comes from being in one of these groups but coming from the outside while also not really having anything on the outside. I defintely hope to see more videos with Rachel!!!!
I'm not religious in any way, form or fashion (because of my own issues in church's as a juvenile & also family abuse) & I usually scroll right past these type of videos/stories, but there was something about this headline & the little like 5-10 secs of pre-play that starts before the video & im actually so glad I did. I can empathize & sympathize w/Rachel & her story is so very compelling & needs way more attention to to the rest of the world. I was never in a Mennonite or Amish "church" or setting but did suffer my own abuse @ the hands of the church my abusive mother & step-father sent me to (just to get rid of me, so basically for a free babysitter on Wednesday & Friday nights, Saturday & Sunday mornings & also Sunday from like 4pm until 10pm or sometimes later. I also had my school nurse & counselor call Children's Services & they showed up to our school & home over 100 times from my 3rd grade year until my 7th grade year where I just started coving any bruises, marks or signs of abuse in general. I can relate to Rachel & her story so much. So I want to thank Rachel personally for sharing her story & for the host of this show (sorry, I didn't catch your name). I hope Rachel is able to find the peace that she deserves in her entire life: mind, body & soul. I haven't reached out for help in over 15yrs because everyone I ever tried to trust only ended up hurting me more, so I have given up on finding help or my own peace, I just turned 43 & literally do not leave my apartment except for medically neccessary appointments due to my Lupus, Fibromyalgia & Heart issues or blood work for all of the above, & I try to do virtual dr visits as much as possible. I have all of my groceries delivered & left outside my door, I have almost everything else delivered via mail or like FedEx, UPS, etc., & I pretty much know that this is just my normal & I will NEVER be able to function in any other way, NEVER have peace or HEALING, EVER. But I'm so glad that Rachel is working toward that & that she may be able to reach others who are struggling & motivate them to get the help, the RIGHT help that they need. Blessings & Love to you Rachel, you are an inspiration to me & I'm almost 1000% positive to so many others as well. I'm sending lots of Love, Light. Peace, Good Vibes & Hopes of nothing but Blessings your way dear Rachel!!! ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I hope you do find peace, healing, and joy. You deserve all of these. I’m sorry so many people hurt you. You are valuable, precious, and have immeasurable worth. 💗
It is unreasonable how much a person can go thru and survive. No one should ever have to go thru anything close to any of these things. We all only know our greatest pain so I can just imagine the pain that goes along with a story like this, but also just the amount of empowerment that comes with being able to say, and I'm still here, and not only am I still here, I'm going to tell my story. Absolutely incredible and so brave. I see you. I hear you. Everything that happened to you was real and it was not ok and I wish you happiness and healing in every possible moment. Keep on keeping on
It doesn’t matter the situation….cults, addictions, abuse, etc. like she says: DONT GIVE UP! As a person who’s been through something, and managed to get through to the other side per se, it is so worth it when you get there! Appreciate your story and you have the soul of a survivor! Thanks for sharing.❤
Thank you for the content warning on infant mortality. So many people don’t think to include it. If anyone could comment with a timestamp where I could skip that/those parts I would be truly grateful so I could still hear the rest of this woman’s story.
I live in Canada near a Mennonite community and there are stories of girls being dropped off at the hospital with envelopes of cash and being told “fix” the problem. It’s wild because we have free health care but the lack of participation in society means they cannot access the care. Keep in mind English is their second language. It is so sad.
Could I ask what type of Mennonite? I know of many and they can cary greatly in belief. I consider myself one culturally. I am not a member of any recognized church.
@mienafriggstad3360 I'd like to ask which community of Mennonites you are referring to, as there are many Mennonites of very different beliefs. Many are quite different from what is described in this story and would be disgusted with how she was viewed & treated.
You're so strong Rachel & incredibly intelligent & well spoken. Your story is extremely important and touches on the availability and network of these dangerous churches. And as someone who had a tense scary childhood home it is so easy to be bated into stange relationships with adults. It's not your fault that those around you (until latley) did not love you, they know their transgressions and they were threatened by your honesty. It's all in how we choose to see ourselves beyond their views, and regaining our image of ourselves and independence. I hope you prosper where you want to be!
Shelise, THANK YOU for giving all these brave women and men a voice. It’s going to give countless others the courage to get out. Leaving is a process and finding yourself in the real world takes time and work, too. It’s scary and exciting at the same time. My heart is so full, listening to this amazing woman’s story. She has a wonderful future ahead of her. ❤️❤️
Sending LOVE To all of those who were involved, still are involved , and hurt ,by these dark souled humans..... YOU ARE LOVED ,,, YOU ARE IMPORTANT,, YOU MATTER
I can't believe how much horrible stuff you survived and yet you glow, you irradiate life. I was so moved and impressed. Thank you for sharing your story!
While I did not grow up in a cult I did find out that I was raised that way due to my paternal side of the family. I dont condone what cults to children or woman thank you for sharing your story it helps young woman learn there are ways out of this with out killing yourself due to all this abuse.
Wow, Rachel you seem like a wonderful and lovely person to talk to and you are incredibly strong for not giving up throughout all those years! You have definitely sparked some joy in living for me through sharing your story and I am truly amazed by your resilience. As a trauma survivor myself I still struggle most days to even find joy and do one thing that makes me happy, so thank you for being so positive and showing me that the path of healing can lead to finding yourself and being happy again!❤
Oh Rachel You are a strong, beautiful, kind, miracle! This hands down was the most difficult episode to hear. It's a miracle you survived you survived as you have. I'm a licensed clinical social worker in California and I completely support you. You had the sweetest inspirational statement. I'll find you on Instagram. I'm glad you have your dogs and your landlord! I became a licensed clinical social worker because I've been through a lot of trauma too but different than yours. I knew it 10 years old that I wanted to help people. you are an empathetic beautiful soul. I'm thankful you survived.
What a strong, wise, beautiful soul. Thank you both for being who you are in this world. Truth tellers and bringers of the light🙏🏼 So much respect and love🙏🏼
I had to pause the video to say I am aghast at what Rachel has had to survive thus far. It is inconceivable to me that everything wrong and inhumane was done to her with no safe harbor. My admiration of her survival ability knows no bounds. She is incredible. May she have nothing but peace and love for the rest of her life. She has more than earned it.
Young lady, you are truly an amazing human! Your strength is beyond words. The thing is, you should NEVER have had to be that strong!! It breaks my heart and INFURIATES me that you and sooooo many other children are treated this way! All for control and manipulation! This has absolutely JACKSHYT to do with God or whatever Supreme being they poport to worship! I'm sorry if that offends anyone, but that is my personal take on it! It is sick, disgusting, and INSANE!!! Ok, rant over. I'm so glad u are making your way and continuing to heal. Sending you so much positive energy and love your way! 🫂❤️🙏🏽
Truly amazing!Omg 🎉 if anyone had gone through half as much no one would be upright! Well done wonderful speaker! Makes me so thankful for my family and all the love I've had particularly as a child. Those churches should have helped this girl her problems couldn't just be prayed away or hidden away like her predators. Children should be protected and loved. A church should be a sanctuary for the innocent not for criminals. I hope that rediscovering music and singing and health and happiness will make for a lovely life. Music and singing have helped me through my hard days it's balm for the soul.
Rachel you are so brave and tough as nails. You are amazing! I am so moved by your love and understanding how to be loved. Keep teaching about unconditional love it is what transcends all the hurt, pain and agony people go through to survive. You are an inspiration to me.
So glad you are still here with us. Although prayers are well intended it could be possibly triggering for those who are already dealing with religious trauma ❤️
Seriously! I'm truly astounded that people can hear these stories of religions abuse and the first thing to come out of their mouth is more religions noise 😢
@@AotearoaAnge It’s not being intolerant to call people out for being hurtful. Only the religious insist that shoving their “prayers” onto others is good no matter how the recipient feel about it. It’s not intolerance of their beliefs to ask them not to abuse others
I’m Mennonite and I’m so sad you didn’t receive trauma informed care among people who claim to be the church. I will definitely share this episode. Great awareness about unlicensed counseling centers and calling them to more accountability. Thank you Rachel for your bravery ❤
Rachel, you are a powerful young woman and deserve only love Yours is sch a hard story to listen to, had to take lots of breaks but seeing you strong and courageous is all the happiness in the world. Stay strong, like you always have been💖
Rachel, your story has so many experiences it hard to comprehend that ONE person went through this in ONE life time. Your resilience is so admirable. I just want to throw it out there, i wish i found you in my life time. There is no better feeling than finding a friend to share unconditional love with, and its so dissapointing that all of these people who did wrong by you didn't see the wonderful person they had in thier life. If you ever want an Australian 'pen pal', please reach out! I dont have any religious background, or similar traumatic experiences to relate to, but i do have other things to give. Im unapologetically myself, im not judgemental i just have plenty of room in my heart to share with others ❤
You and your guests, like this incredible person, are so inspiring. The strength demonstrated by you and your guests helps rekindle my flickering hope. When I’m struggling or feel despair, I recall these stories of endurance, perseverance, and healing. The work you’re doing on Cults to Consciousness helps even those who’ve never been in high-control settings or situations. Thank you.
Thank you, Rachel, for sharing your story. It is so upsetting to hear about all of the horrific events you experienced in your life. Kudos to you for being so brave and having grace.
Oh, my heart is breaking for what she went through. I wish her all the love and kindness for the rest of her life. Thank you for being so brave and speaking out to help others in that situation. My heart to yours.
This poor girl, my husband, and I fostered 7 boys until they were almost adults. Our kids were very messed up from their biological family and at other foster familys before coming to us. We lived a penticostal church life. Our kids were loved by us, vacationed with us, out to eat, or home cooked meals we ate as a family, and our extended family showed them love, as our church did. My husband recently passed, and I now have grandchildren from my boys who were "foster children but I've been momma since with at least 5 of them and Nanna from their children. I am thankful God led them to our home. I wish she could have been able to come to a loving, true christian family. I wish I could give her a hug.
Rachel! What a power house you are! You deserve all the love and all the respect in the world - just because you made it through the 500 circles of hell. I know depression is more than just "feeling sad", it's torture 24/7 - additional to the hellscape you lived through. You're so strong! Much much love for you ❤❤❤ and always keep your head up high. I'll live in suspension until the 2. episode comes out 😬
Wow I am in complete awe of Rachel!! What an incredible power house of a person with such a testimony to share. I am sorry she lost her baby girl and that she had to go through so much to finally find a way and place to be able to call home and family and comfort, but we are so glad she is here and that she was strong enough to make it through everything. Keep sharing your story as long as you are able to. It’s true that churches need to realize that they can’t be the sole solution to the horrors that happen; it’s absolutely a criminality issue. I am a strong faith believer in one of the early religions you mentioned and it just breaks my heart that you couldn’t find enough comfort there, but I will be praying for you that you are able to maintain strength and compassion for yourself through the rest of your journey, Rachel. Keep it up and yes, there’s a whole community of people who have arms stretched open and simply do want to support those looking for it. We might be hard to find, but Shelise’s channel is bringing us together!
Girl, you have digested the whole freakin 'tasting menu' of abuse, neglect, brainwashing, exploitation and gas-lighting - from multiple religious cults, no less! - and come out the other side a functioning person with grace and humour. I know you said you've still got stuff you carry but - boy! - if your resilience and openness could be bottled, you be a gazillionaire. Take great care of yourself, Rachel. Thanks for bringing her to us, Shelise.
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❤ love ❤ this comment! If we could only all be so resilient. She proves there is hope!
Took the words right out of my mouth, beautifully said 🩷
Oh my goodness 😢so sorry for all the abusive nightmares 😮. Hopefully you are getting some healing.
Joy in living! A wonderful plan for your future after going through so much trauma and abuse ❤❤❤
I feel like this is a story that perfectly shows how abuse breeds desperation, and then that desperation makes you a perfect victim for *other* abusers. This is exactly what makes serial abuse (by completely different people!) so common.
Perfectly perceptive. Great add
When you dont have a baseline of healthy boundaries...bcoz the concept doesnt even exist in your mind,you never lerned it,...its unbelievable ,how many ppl come "out of the woods" to abuse you just bcoz tbey can ,bcoz you ll tolerate
Yes and then people will blame the victim for getting into new situations instead of blaming abusers. Again.
Exactly
Rachel... You're kind. You're smart. You're interesting. You're beautiful. You're compassionate. They tried but they didn't break you. I am so very proud of you and I love that you are in charge and in control of your decisions and life. Thank you for sharing your story and being an inspiration to others.
🙌
Rachel went through a lot. So glad she's safe now.
So sorry to be off topic, but Shelise looks incredible❤
Well said, and my 2 cents worth, too!
Thank you for sharing Rachel! Alot of us have experienced trauma here and there, but the constant control of others about how to act, dress, etc had to be so destructive to you self-confidence. Good for you for being an advocate for yoursel and happy you found some in the church that helped you alongthe way
What she said about getting punished for not having the right expression on her face brought back memories for me of spending hours in front of a mirror as a teenager, practicing the most neutral expression possible so that I wouldn't get punished for having the wrong expression on my face. It took me years as an adult to feel safe having facial expressions.
It's amazing how far she's come, given what she went through.
Damn! I still have trouble with that and I was never in a cult. Men expect my face to be held in a certain way or else they get pissy. How dare I have an opinion that is not positive.
@@leona2222It's common for a man to tell a woman they don't know to smile. I argue with them. That is bs. You want a smile? Joker smile
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@@leona2222 Respectfully, you have no idea what it’s actually like. Having a random guy with an inflated ego tell you to smile, is not anything close to us having our own parents beat us for just looking normal. Does it suck that every woman experiences those men? Of course. Is this the space to complain about it? Definitely not. It’s kind of a slap in the face to those of us who were abused for looking normal. Because the lady interviewed is probably too sweet to tell you this, I’ll be the b!tch, because I know she didn’t like your comparison.
I'm still not sure what face I made.
The family/parents refusing to provide for their 12 year old daughters, defining them as adults when they were really only little girls - and pushing them into the arms of predators - makes me so, _so_ angry!
I wish this strong and brave young lady all the best!❤
Every single bad thing she experienced is traced back to that decision by her parents. They forced their daughters into an impossible situation where they felt the only way forward to make money was by selling their bodies…. And then the churches instead of recognizing how sexual trauma can lead to sexually explicit/inappropriate behaviors in children, they blamed her for it and said she was either lying about it all or that she had seduced the men that took advantage of her young body and young mind
I know all about buying my own clothes at 12. Because I didn't like my mother's taste in clothes when shopping, she refused to buy me clothes and told me if I didn't like it, then I had to buy my own from then on. And she meant it. Not easy, but a lot is learned. 🙏❤️🙏
demanding to be economically independent; yet too young to legally earn. My thought hearing that was - what was the signal for boys to be responsible for their own living costs?
@@LorieM1209 having the option of clothes you don't like or fund your own is very different to no option except what you can fund yourself
Unfortunately Jesus doesn't encourage any of this abuse and people will stand before him one day
Break the silence. Break the cycle.
It's hard to break the cycle when CPS is a failure. That's who outsiders report the abuse to, but when they fail then what?
powerful statement
There isn't anyone you can absolutely trust, as far as humans are concerned. Or if they can be trusted they are few and far between, and hard to find.
Always impresses me when people who have EVERY reason to be angry, mean, bitter people... are somehow so kind and hopeful in spite of it all.
Faith in herself. Beautiful girl. ❤❤❤
Agree ❤
Seriously 😢
Unlicensed unprofessionals; perfect word play. Unlicensed unprofessional sadistic monsters. Thank you for persevering and sharing!
I can't comprehend how anyone could hold ill will toward or harm a child in any way. There are true monsters among us.
And the "monsters" are Protected by other "monsters" for me they are
not monsters,just humans who choose to act like monsters. God bless you.
Many do it because they want to reenact things they wished they could've done to others but couldn't. My "father" hurt me and my sister in ways oddly similar to how our mom told him and others the abuse she suffered by her step (or half, I don't know and don't care) brothers. People can and will be monsters sometimes, and it's horrifying
I am so sad you had to go through what you have had to experience. Also, that much of the horrible treatment was supposed to be in God's name. My God is a God of love, not of abuse. I am sending you love and kindness. You are so strong. Keep healing, and enjoy your life. ❤
I have told my children since they were young "monsters really do exist, but they don't look like monsters, they look just like people."
Then you've never tried to love a child with realtrauma. I was one. Lots of self sabotage lots of lying lots of at risk behaviors plus we don't trust that you're actually gonna love us and 99% can't handle their love being rejected. You'd be Shocked.
I’m a recovering alcoholic and from Ireland and listening to Rachael describing the home she was sent to for counselling sounds exactly like the rehab, which was run by Catholic nuns, I went to! Lockdown at 11pm, night watchman coming around at 6am kicking our doors to wake us up! If anyone messed up they were put on report and denied privileges! And after 3 months of that it still took me a full year to get sober! Rachael I am absolutely delighted that you got out and I wish you a very happy life, you deserve it honey! Px
I remember Rachel being a part of an amish church that was in fellowship with the amish church I grew up in. My heart went out to you Rachel. So sorry that you experienced the abuse you did. Filled with indignation over here 😡
Rachel you are a rock star! Unbelievable strength that proves you are meant to be here and live a prosperous life. Be so proud of yourself! Your soul is absolutely beautiful ❤
This🙌
I live driving distance from Lancaster, PA. We have Amish and Mennonite Farm market vendors all over our entire region, and people constantly hire them for building projects around their homes and businesses. My naive younger self used to think it was so neat we had this community that embraced the old school trades and were so self-sufficient with small businesses and substinence farming, etc. Now I just cannot respect the rampant abuse of both children and animals and how it is all normalized and covered up. The older I get, the more it seems religiosity correlates with awful behavior, abuse, and just completely skewed morals. The more strict and fundamentalist the sect, the more women, children, and animals are treated like tools and possessions to use and abuse in every sort of way. And crimes and bad deeds are so quickly covered up in order to preserve the fake image of piety and moral superiority.
Same. I live in Philly and often go out to Lancaster and grew up in the suburbs surrounded by Mennonite churches. Really interested to listen to this.
Didn’t realize how awful the Amish were until Shelise.
Im so glad u said what u did
@@kittyreincat it's the shunning and the abuse, but it's also the damn puppy mills! Leave the dogs out of this.
Yes, yhe dog abuse is horrible in their communities
We lived in Kentucky near some and they had a roadside stand. Their mama could make the best BlackBerry cobbler strudel I'm not sure what they called it but oh my gosh stuff is like heaven it was so good. So I go into the little store and the guy behind the counter stiffens. Realizes I'm alone and absconds to his house like he saw a fire. Out walks one of his sisters, pinning her dress as she comes down the path clearly rushing. I apologized to her and asked what the cultural rule is? She said, before you've come with your husband. This is the first time you've come without him. Our unmarried sons can't talk to married women unless the husband is part of the chat too. Told her he had deployed but I love their baked goods and we usually have a lovely chat about the things chickens get up to. Said said on Tuesdays I run this stall most often. Would it be too much to ask you come on Tuesdays? No ma'am not at all. I'm metaphorically stepping into your world, I just need to know the rules so I don't cause any other bachelors running about any surprise. I asked if my male chaperone has to be my famoly for that to work or it must be my husband? She giggled and said chaperones are for courting but she understood what I was asking. Any male I brought with me from then on was my brother. The normal cashier guy seemed relieved when i showed up with a brother chaperone the next week. 😂 my mother would deep belly laugh when I send her sibling selfies of us on our way there. I was an only child, so any kid that was my friend was also my new sibling. I would send my mom the selfies I'd takewith my "brother" and then our food haul. Send them to her.
The family that ran the stand understood quickly, I'm actually an only child. But with a ton of men who are willing to be my brother for a whole sour cream cake just for them. The rear d brothers you get when your spouse and most of the unit deploys is exactly the same as getting real brothers. Endless practical jokes. Also the races of my brothers never matched me😂😂😂 endless jokes about jodi. Everything from their stand was marvelous. ❤ the rules made for funny photos and lots of brothers who still call me random holidays😂being funny. I hope this lady finds her peace and her person. She deserves a king worthy of the queen soul she earned in the forge of her life. ❤🎉
Rachel, I am so sorry that you went through all of that. I am 20 minutes into the video and my heart is crushed.
Keep going Rachel!! Im Ex-Amish, but im blown away by the range of your experiences. Dont worry about church for a while, is my advice. It sounds like you're building your own community. Sometimes thats all anybody needs. Cheers!
As a liberal Christian I believe that God gently holds those abused by 'people of faith', and any rejection of faith is accepted as a valid response to the pain. I accept that individuals may not want to affirm anything relating to faith, and I would never seek to ask them to do so
Religion is the cause of the world's pain.
Trauma driven behavior is so often interpreted as willful misbehavior. Most well intended families would not have the skills to discern the difference. Rachel’s story exemplifies this perfectly.
Yes, It seems pain begets pain begets more pain. I am Mennonite and I am hurt by the blame on our well meaning people. We do not traffick. We offer shelter and food to the hurting. But imperfect and human we are. So sorry for all the tremendous amount of pain you've gone thru, Rachel .
I love your statement “trauma driven behavior is so often interpreted as willful misbehavior “
It's almost like the more godly the group professes to be, the most corrupt and abusive they are.
This is absolutely true in so many strict fundamentalist religious groups.
Of course because religion to begin with is just made up nonsense.
True!!! ,the bible even touches on that
It’s true.. Jesus calls them a brood of vipers. He also spoke of them being outside being of looking like white deflectors and inside being… dead man’s bones. ….. I know all to well…. My rice is a cloistered nun…..
it broke my heart to be a witness to that tragedy. She has been there since 2008. My sister in law is now luring other family members to go visit her in her self inflicted jail cell. It too is a cult. She believed that she is Isaac, the firstborn sacrifice. 😢
It’s a crying shame what her parents did to her. The firstborn son went to be a priest, but he changed his mind one month before committing himself there to that life… he is out, but she’s still locked in there. She started in Nebraska in PA.. now might be moved to Canada… Jesuit sect of Catholic Church. 😢
This has been studied and is true. The more fundamental the religion the more degrading and severe the abuse and sexual crime is.
Did you see the new vice & virtue law passed in Afghanistan this week 😢 women now are forbidden to speak in public & cannot sing or read too loudly in their own home. Really thinking about those women right now 🫂
That's so heartbreaking!
Thanks to the democrats for pulling out and leaving all of our military equipment there.
If you care about women's rights you'll wake up and understand the the left stands against you. The right does too, but the left pretends they don't.
@@alc4ever24 The Republicans that waddled in there in the first place because can't have the Commies having the poppy fields, rolled back out when propping up violent dictators just wasn't trendy any more, then played shocked when the person they trained and armed did what literally anyone could have expected and caused misery and suffering for 20 years. Yeah whatever far right to far right mess you call a political spectrum is amazing
@@alc4ever24if you think there is one central decision that caused this horrible situation you are misinformed. Bless your heart.
Thankyou for exposing this fr. I stepped forward about 2 years ago with the truth after leaving the conservative mennonites and my dad was arrested for molesting all 7 of my siblings. So much abuse goes on in those groups. So glad yall are sharing the truth!
Thank you for your bravery in stepping out and exposing the abuse. I am so proud of you.
@rachelnicolecarter6254 thankyou. It was so so hard and in definitely still struggling to get on my feet but what is important is my mom and my siblings are out now.
I cannot comprehend treating children like that! Anyone really, but children is even worse 😢
No abuse is worse or better, it's just equally evil. Some adults are as vulnerable as children.
Shelise - I've seen a lot of your videos. You and Jonathan always make amazing interviews but this one is a standout. I think this might be the most bewilderingly outraged I've ever seen you, and it really underscores just how monstrous Rachel's story is. If this isn't the story for torches and pitchforks, why do we even have those things at all? Thank you for having Rachel on, even as hard to hear as it is
Rachel - Thank you for telling your story I hope each second that carries you from that past does something better than the last. You ARE the through line, but not in the way those jerks said.
Thank you! I was definitely outraged. I knew we probably skipped a bunch of stuff so we recorded again. Coming soon!
I am so sorry that anyone would ever use Jesus or a religion to abuse and neglect you. Those people will answer to our maker for their actions. My heart hurts for your hurt. I appreciate your honesty so much! Praying the Lord blesses you.
Being a parent is the best thing I have ever done..my job is to make sure my kids are loved no matter what..all these people hiding behind religion..😡
@@Eldavide888control addicts
It's not just parents in this religion. There are many toxic parents. They're our coworkers, family, friends, etc. but behind closed doors they don't care, nurture, or love their children. They hate themselves and also hate everyone else. Yet because they look normal and the children look cared for no one bats an eye. Thank you for being a loving parent because not every parent is.
Absolutely heartbreaking. I'm happy Rachel got her freedom and is speaking out.
Towards the beginning of your story you said you had to learn to stop loving and my heart just broke. I've felt that before where you just shut down and go numb its safer to feel nothing than feel the pain. Then by the end of the story you said you've been learning to love again and I practically cheered out loud. I cried from sadness at first then I was happy crying by the end. You are truly incredible and your ability to tell your story so flawlessly and in a cohesive way left me in suspension the whole time. And people deal with trauma in so many ways and no way is right or wrong but the fact that your energy is so positive and just a pure light is amazing and refreshing and just a true testament to the resilience of people. Best of wishes to you thank you for sharing!
what a sweetheart this woman is, beautiful, so intelligent, and so gentle despite all this crap.
How ironic, she is discussing not being believed her whole life when going forward about her abuse, and there are comments here expressing not believing her. And people wonder why victims don’t report. Kudos to you, Shelise, for calling these victim blamers out on their behavior.
This is cope
You are HEARD & BELIEVED & YOU HAVE BEEN SO BRAVE NAVIGATING THROUGH the most twisted perversions of truth, love, & all the related varied abuses. You have been heroic. You are an inspiration!!!
I find it absolutely amazing that so many people in your life failed you and were abusive to you yet at the end of the video, you offer to help others. What an incredible person you are! ❤
I can't imagine being 17 and thinking that my friend is dying and there's nothing I can do to save them, and the fact she chose to get in the bed so she wouldn't die alone? yeah I've been crying for the past 10 minutes
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I am just starting the episode and I just have to commend you (Shalice) on the way you are empathetic and the level of soft comfortable love you provide for these survivors. I love you and love what you are doing here. I am so proud of you! And much love to the guest of this episode. I am proud of you too Rachel! Keep pushing baby! You are a strong beautiful woman! You are loved and worthy! ❤
Aww thank you so much! I do my best. I appreciate your love and support for me and our guests!❤️❤️❤️
I’m praying for all those who have been hurt by cults ❤😢
What a strong young woman! I’m humbled by her story. It’s a shame that evil hides within churches.
When you come from a really dysfunctional family situation it heightens one's vulnerability to highly controlling cults and religious groups. And in Rachel's case it seems that each situation led to the next and she was on a roller coaster of abuse and harm with a few good people sprinkled in. Thank heavens for the good people who helped Rachel to get to where she is now. Love that she has two boxers that help her. Hope that life continues to get better. What Rachel said about wanting to get to where you enjoy life and laugh again, that's strength.
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I hope these woman move & have a wonderful life outside the cults & realize there’s so much more to life than organized religion & 🤞🏻 they remain safe after telling their story’s!!!
Jesus Christ, she was really set up to fail, and yet here she stands! Amazing job getting out and speaking out❤
this was one of the most heartbreaking and at the same time heartwarming episode, and I've seen almost all of them. Thank you so much for sharing🎉❤
Ironic choice of expletive
Jesus was killed by religious people. He is alive now, and loves us all. Do not use His name as a swear word.
@@MissDebra Dear Miss Debra, you have complete authority over your own words and behaviours, and I appreciate your concern, but as a person who was born and raised into Christianity with no choice, I can use whatever name I want for whatever I want. Please refrain from policing people's expression.
@@laraoreski3417 you’re on a social media platform, you can’t control what others say. Interesting that you are policing what she is saying.
My favorite thing is how you snuck behind their backs to keep singing and competing. What a brave girl standing up for the core of herself!💜
I think she has done an amazing job at continuing to try to find love and acceptance in the midst of abuse, tumult, and frustration.
I do find it interesting that, although she was not actually a member of that church, she still felt like she needed to sneak around to do the singing. I guess it was because, since she wasn't all in on the Holdeman idea of Christ-like living, she was worried that if she didn't comply she would have been pushed away from the church?? Or what exactly?
I don't question her story; to be frank, I think that in any culture, in any area of the country, region, or world, where there are humans, there will be sneaky predators that are very good liers, and have the wool pulled over the eyes of those that "know them best". And then "those that know them best" will be prone, if they're not following the Holy Spirit closely enough, to push away as liars those that are trying to help in the community. I also think, although there are too many predators in Christian churches, and Catholic churches, there are far, far more predators in the world at large who certainly hold absolutely no desire to start to consider that there's a God who watches and will judge their actions.
But I do think she is likely leaving out a substantial amount of the story.
When you've gone through the amount of trauma that she went through in her young life, you don't enter into a conservative church community with the "tools" to right away conform to the "acceptable" manners, and the way one carries oneself, and the "proper" demure way of holding oneself apart from the opposite sex while still being able to interact with them.
I wouldn't be surprised, then, if her usual way of interacting with the opposite sex was seen as provocative and forward, and flirty, which would not have gone over well at all. That would also have caused a wariness of her within the ministry and skew a "her word against his word" situation that hindered her and helped him. Then, her bringing it up to begin with would have caused an even higher level of wariness towards her and anything she would say.
There's a fair bit of ground that needs to be gained on this issue of "her word against his" in the Mennonite conservative churches. Unfortunately, the amount of women lying about things like this in the general world (and there certainly are _plenty_ of situations where it has happened, so don't try to pretend it's not going on) is not doing anything to create a better circle of trust for women coming forward to speak on their terrifying SA situations that have originated with church-going "spiritual" men.
Just a sad, bad situation all around. A big dose of grace and love goes a long ways...
Rachel, after all you’ve been through, I find it amazing that you are up, breathing, coping, and now beginning to thrive in spite of the hardships (and that’s putting it mildly) in your life. I don’t know where you live right now, but I have some wonderful, loving Christian friends in Ohio and northern KY who would love to share life with you. Some I have known for 40 years, some less.
Thank you for your courage and tenacity and the love of Jesus so evident in your life. God saved you for such a time as this and to be a voice for those who have none. 💕
Thank you for bringing this story to light. I'm so glad Rachel is breaking her silence and moving back toward her passions. You both deserve all the love and support you're finding. All religions are cults, none of them can help you with medical issues.
I am sorry that has been your experience but it is worth noting that there is a big difference between religion and a relationship with God. There are lots of people in churches that do have authentic relationships with God and sometimes miraculous healing does happen.
Some of the people who helped me along the path to a healthier lifestyle were Christians whose love motivated them into medical service and volunteer work. They truly wanted to help and serve and share the love Jesus put in their hearts, the same love that had healed them up from the hurts life in this broken world inflicted upon them!
I'm sorry if that has not been your experience, but there really are some very kind, patient and loving medical people who want to serve and help victims and people in need! These very kind and patient people will not steal away your right to choose the direction of your own life! But please do remember that we are all on a path, and many of us have been in the wrong place, and have been confused about the truth in the past. I am thankful to be in a healthier place now than I was 20 years ago.
That counselor didn't see a need in her community, she saw an opportunity to make money off free labor. e: oh, and her bodily gratification
The feelings I have are not as polite as yours.
No one should have to deal with abuse, let alone having to choose which abuser to go home to. I'm so glad that you made it to the other side where you could reclaim who you are and really become someone that you like and are happy with :)
That's a great message about feeling stuck as well, and not just for those who are stuck in an abusive situation. I feel like I've been stuck in a number of ways that have me feeling aimless and going through times where hope is hard to find. But it's always good to be reminded to nice forward, even if you don't know which direction to move in.
I have watched every single episode of your podcast and....my goodness. I cried so many times on this one. I cried in solidarity through some of the emotions of despair, some of the emotions of medical mismanagement on your behalf (Im a health care professional), and also so many tears on your behalf because of how absolutely unfathomable it is that you made it out of not one, not two, three, four or even just five abusive homes/situations. Rachel, you are a force of nature. You are a weapon that demonstrates the power of love and the power behind truly seeing an individual for everything they are;a human being. Congratulations and best wishes on your freedom. You, above anyone else, is deserving of your own love. Go get em' tiger!
It's so sad that so many systems failed her-- family, religious organizations included! It's heartbreaking to hear how much trauma can be caused by organized religion! It makes me curious, how many children and young adults are suffering without a way out!!😢😮😢
Good job Rachel. How brave you are to share your story! Thank you for allowing us to hear it. You are so articulate and intelligent. And amazing to find yourself again. Keep singing and laughing out loud and celebrating life!
The way her face lit up when talking about the dogs and her goals to start laughing and having fun again in her 30s, that made me cry 😭😭♥️ Honestly imo your 30s are the best time for that though, for anyone I think! I'm just rediscovering my love for art and painting which I don't think I could have in my 20s for fear of judgement. Wish you alllll the best on your onward journey to happiness ❤
My parents were “normal” then started church hopping. We were never accepted fully by any of the churches because we weren’t born into it. Fundamentalist but they visited several different cults. Amish, Mennonite, Baptist fundamentalist and several others in between.
Thank you so much for sharing! It really shines encouragement to find healing for others.
These abusers are the ones who should be ashamed of themselves.
I hope that anyone who abused this good woman are shown the error of ways & gets whatever they deserve.
Maam you are doing amazing & deserve every happiness you can claw from this world. Don't let anyone force you into a mold & tell you what to do.
You should be very proud of how far you've come & how far you will go.
I just finished the video and oh, man…
*”We don’t know you, but we love you.”*
I’m literally crying, that is so beautiful💞
Rachel, the fact that you are alive is amazing. What courage to speak out when it has been unbelievably hard, may you find joy and sing loud, laugh, cry, hug your dogs and find friends that hear you. My eldest child is becoming a counselor and has faced her own trauma, and there is no doubt professional care is the only way to go. May you find more freedom every day. Unconditional Love- what a gift to give.
Wow! What an incredible strong resilient inspiration of a woman you are, Rachel! I watch every single ‘episode’ of Cults to Consciousness and am always amazed by the guests, and our beautiful host, but the way you tell your story, you have a real gift and I think you could help so many girls and women if you chose to keep using your voice in such a way! Wishing you the absolute best life and all the love and happiness in the world, you really do deserve it all! ❤
Linda Listen: F**k the Patriarchy!!
As a mother, this story made me so angry at all the adults in your life that failed you. I am so, so sorry and I hope that life has something beautiful for you. All the best for you girl!
An amazing story. Thank you for telling it. TAKE YOURPOWER BACK!
So happy you’re getting back into music and shining your light ❤❤❤❤
I am 21 minutes into this story, and I am absolutely heartbroken. This is one of the most extreme and painful stories I have heard. I am so incredibly sorry you went through this, and I am so incredibly proud of you for surviving it and making it out.
This story got me crying.
Rachel, you are so very brave. Your story is crazy. I don't know how you made it through, but I am very glad that you have. You come across as a kind, compassionate, intelligent and caring person and I wish you all the very best for your future. You will help so many by sharing your story. Thank you xx
Liked. Shared. Commented. Told the algorithm to go forth and testify.
Thanks for that!
Amazing woman - having gone through so much and still being sane and honest and brave… such an inspiration thank you sorry you’ve been through all this sh*t my family were Lutheran too in Denmark ❤❤❤
I have never related to an interview more! For myself, coming from an abusive household I ran to multiple church groups through out my life to try to find a community and ended up in less severe but similar groups. It's so nice to hear someone else expressing that unique feeling that comes from being in one of these groups but coming from the outside while also not really having anything on the outside. I defintely hope to see more videos with Rachel!!!!
Thanks for sharing! One more coming soon
I'm not religious in any way, form or fashion (because of my own issues in church's as a juvenile & also family abuse) & I usually scroll right past these type of videos/stories, but there was something about this headline & the little like 5-10 secs of pre-play that starts before the video & im actually so glad I did. I can empathize & sympathize w/Rachel & her story is so very compelling & needs way more attention to to the rest of the world. I was never in a Mennonite or Amish "church" or setting but did suffer my own abuse @ the hands of the church my abusive mother & step-father sent me to (just to get rid of me, so basically for a free babysitter on Wednesday & Friday nights, Saturday & Sunday mornings & also Sunday from like 4pm until 10pm or sometimes later. I also had my school nurse & counselor call Children's Services & they showed up to our school & home over 100 times from my 3rd grade year until my 7th grade year where I just started coving any bruises, marks or signs of abuse in general. I can relate to Rachel & her story so much. So I want to thank Rachel personally for sharing her story & for the host of this show (sorry, I didn't catch your name). I hope Rachel is able to find the peace that she deserves in her entire life: mind, body & soul. I haven't reached out for help in over 15yrs because everyone I ever tried to trust only ended up hurting me more, so I have given up on finding help or my own peace, I just turned 43 & literally do not leave my apartment except for medically neccessary appointments due to my Lupus, Fibromyalgia & Heart issues or blood work for all of the above, & I try to do virtual dr visits as much as possible. I have all of my groceries delivered & left outside my door, I have almost everything else delivered via mail or like FedEx, UPS, etc., & I pretty much know that this is just my normal & I will NEVER be able to function in any other way, NEVER have peace or HEALING, EVER. But I'm so glad that Rachel is working toward that & that she may be able to reach others who are struggling & motivate them to get the help, the RIGHT help that they need. Blessings & Love to you Rachel, you are an inspiration to me & I'm almost 1000% positive to so many others as well. I'm sending lots of Love, Light. Peace, Good Vibes & Hopes of nothing but Blessings your way dear Rachel!!!
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I hope you do find peace, healing, and joy. You deserve all of these. I’m sorry so many people hurt you. You are valuable, precious, and have immeasurable worth. 💗
The "good family" reference is heartbreaking. Bless you for speaking publicly. There's so much abuse that never is talked about
This woman is amazing so strong thank you for sharing and praying for all those needing help to get away from toxic places and people
Wow, what a beautiful human being who has been through much and come out with the purist most beautiful heart.
It is unreasonable how much a person can go thru and survive. No one should ever have to go thru anything close to any of these things. We all only know our greatest pain so I can just imagine the pain that goes along with a story like this, but also just the amount of empowerment that comes with being able to say, and I'm still here, and not only am I still here, I'm going to tell my story. Absolutely incredible and so brave. I see you. I hear you. Everything that happened to you was real and it was not ok and I wish you happiness and healing in every possible moment. Keep on keeping on
It doesn’t matter the situation….cults, addictions, abuse, etc. like she says: DONT GIVE UP! As a person who’s been through something, and managed to get through to the other side per se, it is so worth it when you get there! Appreciate your story and you have the soul of a survivor! Thanks for sharing.❤
Thank you for the content warning on infant mortality. So many people don’t think to include it.
If anyone could comment with a timestamp where I could skip that/those parts I would be truly grateful so I could still hear the rest of this woman’s story.
These events are discussed from 0:40-0:55, 20:30-20:38, 29:52-30:20, and acknowledged at 1:23:03-1:23:13.
I live in Canada near a Mennonite community and there are stories of girls being dropped off at the hospital with envelopes of cash and being told “fix” the problem. It’s wild because we have free health care but the lack of participation in society means they cannot access the care. Keep in mind English is their second language. It is so sad.
That’s so awful!
Correct! I live in Saskatchewan
Could I ask what type of Mennonite? I know of many and they can cary greatly in belief. I consider myself one culturally. I am not a member of any recognized church.
@mienafriggstad3360 I'd like to ask which community of Mennonites you are referring to, as there are many Mennonites of very different beliefs. Many are quite different from what is described in this story and would be disgusted with how she was viewed & treated.
You're so strong Rachel & incredibly intelligent & well spoken. Your story is extremely important and touches on the availability and network of these dangerous churches. And as someone who had a tense scary childhood home it is so easy to be bated into stange relationships with adults. It's not your fault that those around you (until latley) did not love you, they know their transgressions and they were threatened by your honesty. It's all in how we choose to see ourselves beyond their views, and regaining our image of ourselves and independence. I hope you prosper where you want to be!
Shelise, THANK YOU for giving all these brave women and men a voice. It’s going to give countless others the courage to get out. Leaving is a process and finding yourself in the real world takes time and work, too. It’s scary and exciting at the same time. My heart is so full, listening to this amazing woman’s story. She has a wonderful future ahead of her. ❤️❤️
Sending LOVE To all of those who were involved,
still are involved , and hurt ,by these dark souled humans.....
YOU ARE LOVED ,,, YOU ARE IMPORTANT,, YOU MATTER
❤️❤️❤️🙌
Rachel is such an engaging speaker - so articulate, intelligent, good humoured, and incredibly resilient. I'm learning so much from her.
I can't believe how much horrible stuff you survived and yet you glow, you irradiate life. I was so moved and impressed. Thank you for sharing your story!
Holy hell. And I mean that.
Rachel, you're amazing. And inspiring. And YOU BELONG.
While I did not grow up in a cult I did find out that I was raised that way due to my paternal side of the family. I dont condone what cults to children or woman thank you for sharing your story it helps young woman learn there are ways out of this with out killing yourself due to all this abuse.
Family cults are a thing! She has a few videos about different examples
My mother ran our family like a cult. It is hard to unlearn. Much love and hope to you.
@@jennaxoxox4821 thank you same to you
Power to Survivors. Bless this women. If i could reach out a hug her i would. Sending so much love and healing to her. ❤
Wow, Rachel you seem like a wonderful and lovely person to talk to and you are incredibly strong for not giving up throughout all those years! You have definitely sparked some joy in living for me through sharing your story and I am truly amazed by your resilience. As a trauma survivor myself I still struggle most days to even find joy and do one thing that makes me happy, so thank you for being so positive and showing me that the path of healing can lead to finding yourself and being happy again!❤
Rachel you are absolutely amazing.
Oh Rachel You are a strong, beautiful, kind, miracle! This hands down was the most difficult episode to hear. It's a miracle you survived you survived as you have. I'm a licensed clinical social worker in California and I completely support you. You had the sweetest inspirational statement. I'll find you on Instagram. I'm glad you have your dogs and your landlord! I became a licensed clinical social worker because I've been through a lot of trauma too but different than yours. I knew it 10 years old that I wanted to help people. you are an empathetic beautiful soul. I'm thankful you survived.
What a strong, wise, beautiful soul. Thank you both for being who you are in this world. Truth tellers and bringers of the light🙏🏼 So much respect and love🙏🏼
I had to pause the video to say I am aghast at what Rachel has had to survive thus far. It is inconceivable to me that everything wrong and inhumane was done to her with no safe harbor. My admiration of her survival ability knows no bounds. She is incredible. May she have nothing but peace and love for the rest of her life. She has more than earned it.
Young lady, you are truly an amazing human! Your strength is beyond words. The thing is, you should NEVER have had to be that strong!! It breaks my heart and INFURIATES me that you and sooooo many other children are treated this way! All for control and manipulation! This has absolutely JACKSHYT to do with God or whatever Supreme being they poport to worship! I'm sorry if that offends anyone, but that is my personal take on it! It is sick, disgusting, and INSANE!!!
Ok, rant over. I'm so glad u are making your way and continuing to heal. Sending you so much positive energy and love your way!
🫂❤️🙏🏽
Rachael is so brave. I was in tears hearing her story.
Truly amazing!Omg 🎉 if anyone had gone through half as much no one would be upright! Well done wonderful speaker! Makes me so thankful for my family and all the love I've had particularly as a child. Those churches should have helped this girl her problems couldn't just be prayed away or hidden away like her predators. Children should be protected and loved. A church should be a sanctuary for the innocent not for criminals. I hope that rediscovering music and singing and health and happiness will make for a lovely life. Music and singing have helped me through my hard days it's balm for the soul.
Rachel you are so brave and tough as nails. You are amazing! I am so moved by your love and understanding how to be loved. Keep teaching about unconditional love it is what transcends all the hurt, pain and agony people go through to survive. You are an inspiration to me.
So glad you are still here with us. Although prayers are well intended it could be possibly triggering for those who are already dealing with religious trauma ❤️
Seriously! I'm truly astounded that people can hear these stories of religions abuse and the first thing to come out of their mouth is more religions noise 😢
@@lizf1353 Or even try to tell survivors they just found the wrong people, go find the twue Jeebus. Its gross and frankly predatory
@@lizf1353i completely agree, it’s seems they can’t be compassionate without being religious first and foremost
How tolerant of you.
@@AotearoaAnge
It’s not being intolerant to call people out for being hurtful. Only the religious insist that shoving their “prayers” onto others is good no matter how the recipient feel about it. It’s not intolerance of their beliefs to ask them not to abuse others
I’m Mennonite and I’m so sad you didn’t receive trauma informed care among people who claim to be the church. I will definitely share this episode. Great awareness about unlicensed counseling centers and calling them to more accountability. Thank you Rachel for your bravery ❤
Rachel, you are a powerful young woman and deserve only love Yours is sch a hard story to listen to, had to take lots of breaks but seeing you strong and courageous is all the happiness in the world. Stay strong, like you always have been💖
You’re a phenomenal woman and I’m so glad you’re still here helping and inspiring others. Your “Linda Listen” made me tear up. ❤❤❤
Scream it from the rooftops!!! Yes Rachel! Thank you SO much 🫶🏼
What a beautiful and inspiring human being! Always finding her strength and positive force in spite of the bad. ❤
Rachel, your story has so many experiences it hard to comprehend that ONE person went through this in ONE life time. Your resilience is so admirable.
I just want to throw it out there, i wish i found you in my life time. There is no better feeling than finding a friend to share unconditional love with, and its so dissapointing that all of these people who did wrong by you didn't see the wonderful person they had in thier life. If you ever want an Australian 'pen pal', please reach out! I dont have any religious background, or similar traumatic experiences to relate to, but i do have other things to give. Im unapologetically myself, im not judgemental i just have plenty of room in my heart to share with others ❤
Love this 🙌❤️
You and your guests, like this incredible person, are so inspiring. The strength demonstrated by you and your guests helps rekindle my flickering hope. When I’m struggling or feel despair, I recall these stories of endurance, perseverance, and healing. The work you’re doing on Cults to Consciousness helps even those who’ve never been in high-control settings or situations. Thank you.
Rachel your bravery is astounding. Sending you a virtual Mom hug. ❤❤
Thank you, Rachel, for sharing your story. It is so upsetting to hear about all of the horrific events you experienced in your life. Kudos to you for being so brave and having grace.
Rachel, you are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your story and giving us all hope for a better future.
Kudos to Rachel for having the courage to tell her story. I just wish I could hug her. Rachel, you are so special and worthy of love and kindness ❤
Me the whole video: *intense visceral rage towards the people who harmed Rachel*
Oh, my heart is breaking for what she went through. I wish her all the love and kindness for the rest of her life. Thank you for being so brave and speaking out to help others in that situation. My heart to yours.
Rachel I am 73 yo & you have inspired me.
This poor girl, my husband, and I fostered 7 boys until they were almost adults. Our kids were very messed up from their biological family and at other foster familys before coming to us. We lived a penticostal church life. Our kids were loved by us, vacationed with us, out to eat, or home cooked meals we ate as a family, and our extended family showed them love, as our church did. My husband recently passed, and I now have grandchildren from my boys who were "foster children but I've been momma since with at least 5 of them and Nanna from their children. I am thankful God led them to our home. I wish she could have been able to come to a loving, true christian family. I wish I could give her a hug.
Rachel! What a power house you are! You deserve all the love and all the respect in the world - just because you made it through the 500 circles of hell. I know depression is more than just "feeling sad", it's torture 24/7 - additional to the hellscape you lived through. You're so strong! Much much love for you ❤❤❤ and always keep your head up high. I'll live in suspension until the 2. episode comes out 😬
Wow I am in complete awe of Rachel!! What an incredible power house of a person with such a testimony to share. I am sorry she lost her baby girl and that she had to go through so much to finally find a way and place to be able to call home and family and comfort, but we are so glad she is here and that she was strong enough to make it through everything. Keep sharing your story as long as you are able to. It’s true that churches need to realize that they can’t be the sole solution to the horrors that happen; it’s absolutely a criminality issue. I am a strong faith believer in one of the early religions you mentioned and it just breaks my heart that you couldn’t find enough comfort there, but I will be praying for you that you are able to maintain strength and compassion for yourself through the rest of your journey, Rachel. Keep it up and yes, there’s a whole community of people who have arms stretched open and simply do want to support those looking for it. We might be hard to find, but Shelise’s channel is bringing us together!