🎄 GRWM: I Lost My Dad to Cancer 🛷 This is my 10 Year Experience with Grief

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 77

  • @lydiaerickson3731
    @lydiaerickson3731 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    My mom told us she had kidney cancer three years ago at Thanksgiving. She had surgery to remove her kidney and continues to go through her 6 month checkups to make sure nothing has popped up. I genuinely can’t imagine losing my mom and even the possibility of it threw me into grief that Thanksgiving. Its videos like this that remind just how extra greatful I need to be that we are one of the lucky families that hasn’t had to go through this kind of loss.

  • @mommas1351
    @mommas1351 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Thanks Steph for sharing your story. I have been able to relate to you on some of the things you touch on. I lost my mom 2 years ago on November 6th. It was the day after my Dads birthday. November is hard. And you so right everyone deals with it differently or the relationship that person had at the time. For me I’m just getting out of the regret stage. Because my mother and I was not seeing eye to eye and for the first year and half I really hated myself that only I fought myself on when I was alone. Because nobody would understand what I was feeling I couldn’t and still can’t talk to my brothers about our Mom because they told me they don’t care. And I don’t know if it’s cause I’m a woman and her only daughter. So I guess I’m more emotionally attached. This grief for my mother and been the hardest out of all my loved ones I have lost. And the random meltdowns are SO real! 😢 thank you for this video seriously! I needed to be reminded to be patient with myself. Xo Logan

    • @itsjustStephslife
      @itsjustStephslife  3 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Thank you so much for sharing this Logan! ❤️ and for your kind words. I am so sorry for you loss and can’t imagine how hard it is to not have your siblings to talk to about your Mom. I’ve been very blessed to know I always have my sister, and can’t imagine the extra layer of stress, hurt and grief that causes. I am sending you all the love and healing thoughts ❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you so much for sharing your experience with grief and loss!!

  • @TheLouTy
    @TheLouTy 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +7

    I lost my dad to cancer three weeks ago. Just trying to come to terms with it, miss him so much 😢

    • @itsjustStephslife
      @itsjustStephslife  3 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Oh my goodness! I am so sorry sorry. Sending all the love and prayers to you and your family ❤️❤️❤️ be so kind and so patient with yourself. Wishing you a peaceful healing journey and truly just so sorry for your loss!!

    • @TheLouTy
      @TheLouTy 3 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Thank you and I’m sorry for your loss, too. I feel the same way about the nurses that looked after my dad, such a blessing. Thank you for making this video. ❤❤❤

  • @makeupbyheather1019
    @makeupbyheather1019 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    I also had no idea about your dad but I’m so deeply sorry.i lost my brother to a drunk driving accident in 2018 and it crushed me and still does. My heart is with you ❤

    • @itsjustStephslife
      @itsjustStephslife  3 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Oh my goodness Heather I am so incredibly sorry ❤️ I truly don’t know what I would do if I lost my sister so I can’t even put myself in a place to imagine what that would feel like it’s too painful. I am sending so much love your way! ❤️❤️ thank you for sharing this!

  • @goodenoughaccompanis
    @goodenoughaccompanis 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    I had no idea your dad had passed away-cancer just sucks. I love that you had such a good relationship with your dad, and that you got closure. Doesn’t change that this is likely one of the hardest things you have to continue to live through, not having your dad present in the flesh. I’m so sorry. I haven’t experienced a loss of a parent, so I can’t relate, but I know my second cousins who lost their mom 10 years ago still struggle in ways. About 11 years ago, I did become my grandma’s caregiver when she was in her last year of fighting cancer, so I do have the visual of what cancer can do to someone, and it’s just awful. Thanks for sharing your story-I think you did a great job communicating everything on your heart ❤.

    • @itsjustStephslife
      @itsjustStephslife  3 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Thank you so much for this heartfelt comment! ❤️❤️ this really means so much to me! I am sorry for the loss of your grandma and can’t imagine what it was like being her caretaker the last year of her life. Cancer sucks and it’s so awful to watch what is does to people! ❤️❤️❤️ thank you so much for all of your kind words!!

  • @marthao3514
    @marthao3514 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom to cancer when I was 15 and my dad passed away when I was 19… both in the month of May… and I truly hate that month. (Sorry, I know it’s your birthday month) … on my mom’s death anniversary, I usually take the day off work (if it’s on a weekday), go to the cemetery, and I take her a cup of coffee … that comforts me. I find that most days, the pain is a constant nag… but every so often, the grief just hits hard! 💜💜

    • @itsjustStephslife
      @itsjustStephslife  3 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I don’t even have words! I would hate May too. I am so sorry for both losses. What a strong person you absolutely have to be with losing both of your parents and at such a young age ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I’m sending every ounce of love I have, and I promise I will send extra now during my birth month! Thank you so much for sharing this ❤️❤️❤️❤️ and I agree the pain is always lingering and sometime just comes very hard

  • @msbenny1007
    @msbenny1007 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +3

    Thank you for sharing this story. I relate to so many of the things that you brought up. I lost my mom to cancer 8 years ago and it was definitely the hardest thing I’ve experienced. ❤

    • @msbenny1007
      @msbenny1007 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      💜

    • @itsjustStephslife
      @itsjustStephslife  3 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I am so sorry for your loss! And glad you could relate. It is so painful watching a parent suffer through cancer. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy ❤️❤️

  • @RetiraTea
    @RetiraTea 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    ❤❤ I also lost my dad to cancer, almost 10 years ago. This coming May. And, I lost my Mom a couple months before that. So this end of December it will be 10 years for my Mom. Whew 😮‍💨 just realized that.
    I’m sorry to hear about your dad. Cancer absolutely sucks. Thank you for the video. 😢

    • @itsjustStephslife
      @itsjustStephslife  3 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Oh my goodness, I couldn’t imagine both my parents being gone. Like even typing this my heart feels tight. I am so sorry for both of your losses ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you so much for sharing! Thinking of you and sending you so much love!’

  • @AlejandraLisette
    @AlejandraLisette 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    ❤ you Steph. Sending you a big hug

  • @estherc6487
    @estherc6487 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Thank you for sharing. I lost my dad 10 years ago too. Mine died suddenly from a brain haemorrhage. It has been very tough. The first few years flew by. I could not comprehend how life around us could move on. I was dreading the 10 year anniversary and here we are. I was 38 but still the first from friend and family group to have a parent pass away. Really difficult to process. I still cry when I think of him I miss him very much and wish I would have spent more time with him. I always advice people to spend time with family as much as possible. Haha your daughter is beautiful kids always ruin our sleeping plans (don’t sleep when you want them too and vice versa). I deal with things by compartilising too!

    • @itsjustStephslife
      @itsjustStephslife  3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Thank you so much for commenting and sharing your experience! ❤️ as painful as it was to see my Dad so sick, I was always grateful I haven’t experienced a sudden loss because I truly don’t know how to comprehend getting through something like that. I couldn’t agree more, I always try to reiterate that life really is too short to be stuck in fights and not spend as much time as possible with those most important to you ❤️❤️❤️

  • @arwabagerlmhc2589
    @arwabagerlmhc2589 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +4

    Your daughter is the sweetest- your dad lives on in you , your sister, and your daughter
    Grief is so so hard - I remember learning (psychotherapist here ) that EARLY grief lasts two years , then you still are grieving but it’s different (as long as you’re alive and your loved one isn’t you will be grieving in some way ) - part of early grief is talking about the loss constantly like having a need to let everyone know that your loved one has passed - telling stories helps , or having rituals or doing things in their memory helps tremendously too (like a charity run , making their favorite dish , etc ) it’s so hard

    • @itsjustStephslife
      @itsjustStephslife  3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Thank you so much for sharing these tips! This actually makes sense, and I feel like I’ve always shyed away from talking about my Dad for so long. My mom sister and I now share so many stories of my Dad with my daughter and it finally brings joy, because she loves hearing about our funny incidents on our road trips and such. ❤️❤️❤️ thank you so much for your kind words! It means so much to me!!!

    • @arwabagerlmhc2589
      @arwabagerlmhc2589 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @ Loss is so hard - I lost my best friend in 2020 unexpectedly and it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever gone through - I’m so glad that you , your sister and your mom are talking about amazing memories with your dad and your daughter is getting to know him and share in those memories- thank YOU for sharing your thoughts and this video with all of us - it’s so special to be able to be part of this community here ❤️🧿

  • @installsm
    @installsm 3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I lost my dad when I was 20.. I know you don’t like to express emotions, but emotions are there to show us our values. Your sadness shows how important he was to you ❤

    • @itsjustStephslife
      @itsjustStephslife  3 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

      Wow, I am absolutely never thought of emotions this way, but I seriously think you may have just unlocked something for me ❤️ thank you so much for this ❤️❤️ I am also so sorry for you loss! Thank you for sharing! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

    • @installsm
      @installsm 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      @ aww I’m so glad!! ❤️

  • @reginal2626
    @reginal2626 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Thanks for sharing your story Steph. Sending you a big virtual hug 🫂
    you got me over here crying my eyes out 😭
    my father got prostate cancer a few years ago but beat it. My biggest worry is that the cancer will return. My parents are in their 70’s so I try to spend as much time as I can with them because I know I don’t have much time with them left. I can’t imagine losing my parents. Even the thought makes me sad 😢 ❤

    • @itsjustStephslife
      @itsjustStephslife  3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Thank you so much! Sending you a big hug back and so incredibly happy to hear your Dad beat cancer and I will pray that he continues to remain cancer free! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @melindamorarie1251
    @melindamorarie1251 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Thank you for posting this. I feel like grief is a topic that a lot of people don’t talk about because it is sad and uncomfortable thing to talk about but it’s something everyone has to face eventually. Sending you lots of love. ❤️

    • @itsjustStephslife
      @itsjustStephslife  3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Thank you so much for this comment! ❤️❤️ I am glad I could share my experience, and you are so right, grief will eventually cross everyone’s paths and it sucks 😭

  • @MsAlyssaJM
    @MsAlyssaJM 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    My mom died from cancer when I was 25. I found out she had it because I had to go home for a job interview, and my dad called me the night before I was heading home to let me know she wouldn't be home because she was recovering from surgery at the hospital. It was really hard and she never had a breather for the next few years until she passed. I'm so sorry for your loss. It has been 16 years for me, but still hard. Christmas and my birthday are always sad because they were really fun times to spend with her.

    • @MsAlyssaJM
      @MsAlyssaJM 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Oh and speaking of picking days, my mom died on one of my best friend's birthdays, so that date is more a date I think of my friend rather than my mom, so a mixed blessing! Maybe she knew!

    • @itsjustStephslife
      @itsjustStephslife  3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      I absolutely love that you found that positive in it all ❤️ I am so sorry for the loss of your Mom Alyssa ❤️❤️ cancer sucks to watch and I’m so sorry you lost your Mom to cancer ❤️❤️❤️ sending you so much Love!!!

  • @keke_lavay7613
    @keke_lavay7613 3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    We appreciate you being so vulnerable and everyone griefs different it’s not wrong or right way to do so ❤❤❤ I hope you’re able to find the peace you need

    • @itsjustStephslife
      @itsjustStephslife  3 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Thank you so much! That means so much to me! ❤️❤️❤️

  • @freckledklutz
    @freckledklutz 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Aww thank you for sharing your story and how special you dad was! I hope this season is kind to you and that the grief a good wave. I lost all but one of my grandparents to cancer and it's fucking rough. Grief is not linear and it isn't predictable. Sometimes with grief all I wanted was to have some physically close but not talk if that makes sense. And I didn't cry for a lot of it but dumb things would make me bawl years later.

    • @itsjustStephslife
      @itsjustStephslife  3 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Yes! I am the same way, it’s like the small random weird little things that make me cry! Cancer sucks and I’m so sorry for the loss of your grandparents ❤️❤️❤️ sending so much love your way!!!!

  • @janvierbalser2849
    @janvierbalser2849 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Thanks for being so brave.You're stronger than you think.You are loved by so many. God loves you.I lost my dad in 2013 suddenly in a freak accident.

    • @itsjustStephslife
      @itsjustStephslife  3 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Thank you ❤️❤️ I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I do always thank God I haven’t lost anyone suddenly, because as painful as the last year I got with my Dad was, at least o knew to soak in whatever I could with him. I am so sorry for your loss and sending so much love your way!! ❤️❤️

  • @genb_genbeauty
    @genb_genbeauty 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Oh my goodness. Your kiddo in the intro 🥹 What a sweetie but also “well your plan failed” sounds like my youngest! ❤😂 Alright, I’m snuggling my favorite cat and I’m ready for this. Sending you big love this week. ❤❤❤

    • @genb_genbeauty
      @genb_genbeauty 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Following up here at the end: thank you for sharing, Steph. My boss is currently going through an immensely painful loss with her Mom. She hasn’t passed away yet but is in hospice care and has been told it will only be a matter of days. My heart breaks for her. Please be gentle with yourself this week. 💖

    • @itsjustStephslife
      @itsjustStephslife  3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Thank you so much girl! ❤️❤️❤️ sending love to your boss! There is nothing more painful than the last few days of life so sending love and positive thoughts to your boss! ❤️❤️❤️

  • @stephmbender
    @stephmbender 3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Thank you for sharing you story. I lost my dad to cancer as well (4 years ago) and I resonated with much of what you said. 🖤

    • @itsjustStephslife
      @itsjustStephslife  3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Thank you Steph ❤️ and thank you for sharing. I am so sorry with you loss! Cancer sucks! I would trade just about anything to have my dad back ❤️ sending you so much love!!

  • @nikona18
    @nikona18 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Oh, Steph! Grief comes in so many ways. My dad passed 2 years ago close to the holidays. I was not able to cry for the longest time until one day the tears just started flowing for no reason at all. My dad’s pass was very sudden and I hadn’t seen him in several months, and didn’t make it on time to see him before he died. So I understand the guilt that you talk about. Thank you for sharing. Hugs and much love to you and your family. Erika 💞

    • @itsjustStephslife
      @itsjustStephslife  3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Omg Erika I am so incredibly sorry for your loss! I can’t imagine losing anyone suddenly, and even though the last year with my dad was painful, I’m still very grateful I had that. Sending you so much love this holiday season, and I’m so sorry for your loss! ❤️❤️❤️

  • @christineb.1043
    @christineb.1043 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. Our dads passed the same year. I am older than you, but it still seemed like nobody understood what I was going through. I think that -- because my dad and I had a contentious relationship for much of my life -- people assumed that I should not feel that bad about him dying. But it wasn't like that at all. I was one of his caretakers, and I felt like I could feel him suffering. He was in a lot of pain, but he was also in denial about his mortality. I remember lying on a cot at the end of his bed when he was in hospice, wondering if his mind was processing this as some sort of nightmare. When I woke up, he was gone.
    He had esophageal cancer, after years of chronic heartburn (acid reflux). We didn't know that chronic heartburn could cause cancer. I wish we'd known that. His primary care physician kept prescribing PPI medication to him without having him get an endoscopy to check what was going on in his esophagus. If my dad had seen a gastroenterologist instead of assuming his primary care physician knew what was best, he would probably still be alive. 💔

    • @itsjustStephslife
      @itsjustStephslife  3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

      Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. That is one of the worst cancers I have heard, and I am so sorry you had to witness what that did to your Dad.
      That is so difficult to have people thinking you had no right to feel upset. At the end of the day you have every right to feel however you want, and that makes me upset for you. Contentious relationship or not, it’s your Dad ❤️ I am so incredibly sorry for your loss ❤️❤️❤️ thank you so much for sharing this! Sending lots of love your way!!

    • @christineb.1043
      @christineb.1043 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@itsjustStephslife Thanks, Steph. 💜 Love and hugs to you. 🤗💜
      I wanted to mention what happened to him so other people will know. The more awareness there is, the more people will get checked if they have acid reflux.
      It sounds like your dad really went through it, for years. I'm glad you had a good relationship with him and that you know he loved you. His time here was limited, but it sounds like he did the most with it that he could. 💜

  • @dawnculpeper2125
    @dawnculpeper2125 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +2

    Thank you for sharing your dad's story , a year ago I lost the last person in my family I grew up with...I totally understand feeling detached. Grief is very personal..my son is what kept me a caring person so I can say he saved me

    • @itsjustStephslife
      @itsjustStephslife  3 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I am so glad you have your son ❤️ but I’m also so sorry for all of your loss and can’t imagine what that was like. Sending love your way!

  • @SofieGoody
    @SofieGoody 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Thank you so much for sharing this. I’ve been struggling missing my mom. Lost her almost five years ago and it doesn’t always feel easier with time. It definitely ebbs and flows and I appreciate you sharing your experience ❤️❤️❤️

    • @itsjustStephslife
      @itsjustStephslife  3 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Thank you so much Sofie. I agree it’s a total ebb and flow, and it really just hits you out of the blue sometimes. I think I really push emotions away sometimes and then it all catches up to me. Thinking of you? And I’m so sorry about your Mom! ❤️❤️

  • @2kim01
    @2kim01 3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Love you Steph you are so strong thank you for sharing your story ❤🥺

    • @itsjustStephslife
      @itsjustStephslife  3 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Thank you so much! ❤️❤️❤️

  • @emilynmax
    @emilynmax 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    Sending you so much love ❤

    • @itsjustStephslife
      @itsjustStephslife  3 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Thank you Emily! ❤️❤️❤️

  • @MichyScents
    @MichyScents 2 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    I’m so sorry for your lose. I know you said your daughter was born 7-8 months later but did your dad get to know you were pregnant before he went? This pain is such an undesirable feeling. I am so sorry you had to experience it so young.

  • @lindawesterhuis
    @lindawesterhuis 3 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    💜 Thanks for sharing

  • @ra.j7210
    @ra.j7210 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    It’s been 8 years I lost my dad and I still have been struggling

    • @itsjustStephslife
      @itsjustStephslife  3 วันที่ผ่านมา

      I am so sorry for your loss ❤️ sending so much love to you. It is so hard and I still have so many hard days. Whenever I’m having an exceptionally rough day I get cheesecake and watch Miracle (something my Dad and I used to do together). ❤️❤️ wishing you a peaceful and healing 2025 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ but I know the pain never truly goes away, and I am so sorry!

  • @tammyherrera7262
    @tammyherrera7262 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    ❤️❤️❤️

  • @janvierbalser2849
    @janvierbalser2849 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    💜

  • @christineb.1043
    @christineb.1043 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

    💜💜💜

  • @LeighAnn02
    @LeighAnn02 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    😂😂😂 she's cute !!

  • @harrietlovejoy3424
    @harrietlovejoy3424 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    🩷

  • @julianezsuzsannadesnoix1021
    @julianezsuzsannadesnoix1021 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    ❤️

  • @2kim01
    @2kim01 4 วันที่ผ่านมา +1

    🩷😘❤

  • @zeronada000
    @zeronada000 2 วันที่ผ่านมา

    💜