Could you both do a story time video on your family. Their reactions and responses when you told them you were gay, and how you told them. Thank you! Great video! Love you both ❤️
Only came across your post now. This is my short story. I am a 53-year-old married woman. I had a relationship with a woman when I was 24 years old. Grew up in a Christian household, back then being gay was totally unacceptable especially in the country I live in. After two years we took the most difficult decision of our lives and broke up, it was awful as we were totally in love. We then tried to stay friends, but couldnt so we called it all together. I then met a man who ticked all the boxes, I was conditioned to understand would make a great husband, one being a Christian. Believed I was in love, got married. Never told him my secret. From the 1st night of marriage, I realised I had made a mistake, vowed to myself to do whatever it takes to make it work. Has been a marriage of many ups and downs, the last 3 years were not good at all, we started discussing divorce or separation. We have two sons. Me not being able to give him the intimacy he needs was a huge issue. A year ago I went on a course called "Discovering your Greatness" started to learn to embrace the real me. People started cropping up on my path I started telling my story, in safe places, have not received any rejection from anybody I have told. Then he read my journal without my permission, found out my secret. He now has his doctorate in theology. I have always been in a relationship with God, not a religion. I talk to Him each and every day, if it was not for Him right now I am not sure where I would be. I have seen miracles happen in my life and I know His love for me, this is what for me counts. Once my husband read my diary things got really bad, I have been told I have never been a Christian, I need Jesus in my life, I can be delivered, healed and fixed. I then need to be reborn again and we will then have an amazing marriage. I have been forced to tell my sons my story and some other family members. It has been a very trying time, but now I have filed for divorce and I am sticking to my guns, embracing the real me, happy me.🤣 I am looking forward to two years from now, this is my goal. It's not other peoples opinion about me that counts it's mine, I am at peace with my decision and know God, Jesus loves me. That's my very short story. I just want to say, embrace yourself, love who you are, do not sell your self yourself short for anyone. You do not want to go through what I am going through now. If you are not sure investigate investigate for yourself, do not be conditioned by society and other peoples opinions, you will end up in a worse situation that if you stood your ground for the sake of your happiness. You girls are young, the world is changing daily. LOVE WHO YOU ARE, LOVE THE PLACE YOU ARE IN AND EMBRACE WHO YOU ARE CREATED TO BE. GOD DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES.
When I worked at Victoria's Secret years ago I was ringing up some customers.. They were such good company and I asked if they were sisters or best friends. There was a pause and they looked at each other with a look.. then it CLICKED. I thought "OH shit they're a couple. Well this is awkward". I sincerely apologized and I felt like complete poop for the rest of the day. I thought about how awkward that was for me but even more, how awkward or maybe even hurt I made them feel. I believe in equality. I couldn't believe that I made such an ignorant remark that I didn't even realize. Ever since then I have learned to be mindful and careful. It broke my heart that I made someone uncomfortable for being themselves. I wasn't judging, but I assumed. And I felt like crap. I hope this can be a learning lesson for others!
Erika M - You didn’t need to apologize because how are you to know? Your question was innocent and fair. They just needed to say, “We’re a couple.” Doesn’t seem like a big deal.
thank you for this! my girlfriend and I get this all the time. I don't blame them though, its the world that has taught people to assume that when boys and girls hang out together, they're dating, and when girls and girls/ boys and boys are together, they're just friends. I know that you don't know, it's just a mistake! it can sometims just be hard to say "we're a couple" because you never know someones views in gay couples
Yup, it is up to us as individuals to learn as well as teach future kids how to go about these topics and being mindful. Wish there was an easier way through this! But regardless of ANYONES opinion, no matter how hard it may seem.. say it loud and proud! That is who you are, that's all you can be, and all you can do :)
I've had people ask if my boyfriend and I are siblings. Wasn't a big deal. A little awkward, sure, but definitely not insulting. So it's not something unique to same sex couples and I definitely wouldn't feel bad for asking.
my fifth comment!!!! I just finished watching Being mormon and gay 1 and 2. Rest assure that without a doubt, you have helped a lot of young adults who are still in that big forest of shame. Just think, your words probably opened the eyes and the hearts of a lot of people that needed answers. Thank you for your insights.
This was such a great video, thank you so much for sharing. You should be extremely proud of yourselves, the pain you must have felt coming to terms with this shows how far you both have come. Your family members and true friends love you for who you are. You both are kind, hard working, sweet daughters, sisters, granddaughters, good moral character who happen to be gay. I am in my 60’s, raised Catholic, and have had to step aside from my religion due to some inner turmoil on my part. I am not gay but my sister in law was, she passed away from suicide at 37. I loved her and her partner so much, but her struggles were with bipolar disease and not seeking treatment. I miss her so much and your videos remind me of her. I have discovered that I can still be spiritual and faithful to a loving higher power and not be a “member” of a religious community. Thank you for being brave and sharing your stories, I know you will help a lot of young people struggling with issues related to coming out.
Congratulations for these 2 very honest videos. I am straight and father of a boy. Your videos confirm my will to educate my son in the respect for the differences. I am going to show him your videos. It is important to stay whom we are. Love from Europe
Seriously. Thank you guys so much for sharing. I love learning about your journeys. And I’m sure you are really helping people through sharing. You guys are great!
As a straight non Mormon woman, this was so informative. You guys are awesome. So glad you’re in the place you’re in. Love watching you! Would love to hear more about your families evolution. How have your religious parents come to accept and embrace you? Your siblings?
I'm going to recommend your channel to my sister. We were raised LDS. She is 54, gay and has lived with her girlfriend for 15 years. I love my sister so much and I know she is conflicted over the same issues you raised in this 2 part series. Thank you for sharing your story! There is no way people are apostates based solely on the fact they are practicing gays. I have a hard time believing in a God who would deem that just.
I first came out as a lesbian when I was 16 and then at 19, Transgender.. so many family members who I loved and trusted abandoned me.. it’s so hard. I’ve found amazing, supportive people along the way.
I appreciate the effort and emotion it took both of you to make this insightful narrative into your fears, and feelings. It was hard to watch because I wanted to remove and shield you from prejudiced and distressing actions of others, but your advice was great, and free of rancor .
This was such a heartfelt, open video. I have no personal connection to religion myself, but I still watched both parts of this video. Thank you for being so open about your story!
The further I get from organized religion, the closer I feel to God. It's easier to listen to what God is telling you when a bunch of men aren't shouting what they think God feels into your ear.
It is so interesting to see these videos! I felt and still feel very similar to what you both are describing. I remember talking to people about how being a teenager or figuring yourself out is hard enough and then mix in some existential/sexuality issues alongside that and feeling lost is an understatement! I remember being a teenager and not having many outlets to see vlogs with same sex couples living a normal life with the intricacies and the moments which of course never get caught on camera but encapsulate the essence and bliss of relationships such as these. I only remember maybe South of Nowhere/The L Word and maybe Skins? I feel it is just as important to show the weaknesses we have as much as it is to celebrate the achievements and love shared between two individuals. It was really intimate and beautiful of you to share this with us, thank you.
Just found you two a few days ago and have been watching a few of your vids here and there! I love the vibes you two give off. I feel like you're both super down to earth and just all round good people. I found out from one of your videos that you (Kale) are related to Kayli Butler. I was not even surprised. She was always the one in the whole Shaytards gang who I felt most connected with through watching their videos a few years back.Wishing you both nothing but the best!
Jess, you said the very thing which, I feel, many people don't remember and that's you can't say its this group or that group (in this instance the LDS church) is wrong by the actions of one person or a group of people and their actions. If I were to go out tomorrow and rob a bank, it wouldn't be right for others to judge my whole religion just because I made a choice to not follow the teachings of my church. It's so hard for people to take the things they were taught (religious or otherwise) out of the picture and just accept and love the person. Accepting and loving does not mean you agree with everything they do, it just means you are willing to look beyond. Thank you both for being brave and sharing.
I grew up and still am LDS. I look at myself and I realize my views from growing up in the church to now and still in the church are so DIFFERENT. Growing up I never had any sort of opinion on it. Now and since high school I don’t care, I live by the motto of “People in Glass House shouldn’t throw stones.”. I don’t feel like it’s my right to judge people. I think if my children come to me and tell me they are gay/lesbian, I wouldn’t care, it’s not going to change how I feel about my kids. I want my children to grow up to be who they are and I want them to be kind loving human beings. It’s not my right to tell you who you should love or who you should be with and it’s also not my right to take those rights from other people. All in all I guess I just don’t care if you are or if your not.
So unbelievably grateful to hear your stories. I have zero clue how to ever tell people, & I’m so scared. I’m scared of telling people, but I’m also scared that my life is just.. going by. I’m a spectator, & I hate that. Just makes me sad. I know this couldn’t have been an easy couple of videos to make. Thank you again
I am LDS and I absolutely love how you explained it all. I can’t understand either how someone who is gay can be compared to a rapist or murderer ect. You seem so happy and you seem like good solid people and I choose to believe that people are more than just their sexuality.
My heart goes out to you. You guys did an amazing job on such a tough topic! I know that 2015 “declaration” was devastating, but that was not from God nor of God; that was from man of whom ALL are flawed sinners. Keep fighting the good fight! Thank you so much for sharing!!!
It's so amazing you made this video (and part 1 as well, of cause)! I'm sure there are many people you are helping with it. I'm not religious, but as far as I understand it: God made you and he decided to make you the way you are, so how can that be wrong?
We want to hear how falling in love with each other ultimately won out. I think it would help many people to better understand how the commitment triumphed. Make that a story time!
ADORE you both! Def an inspiration to me personally, n I'm sure to many others! Thx for sharing ur stories, n I look forward to continue watching the 2 of u on ur beautiful journey thru life! 😘❤️🏳️🌈❤️😘
I respect everyone's right to believe in whoever and whatever. But I have a hard time thinking that whatever higher being that there might me will send me to hell because of who I love or are loved by. The fact that you are loved and can feel love must be better then the opposite
Benny Persson honestly as a Mormon myself, it makes me really sad that we have this stereotype of believing that if you are LGBTQ+ you are going to hell. While some do believe that, the majority don't.
I can tell this was not an... easy topic to speak of but it was and is important. Thank you for your candidness. You will no doubt help others with this video.
This has been great. It's hard enough on a day to day basis... Dr's ofc visits, furniture, renting a home, buying cars, heck even the grocery sometimes. We "come out" All. The. Darn. Time. It gets easier and I'm glad that chapter of my life is long over. I Love me and that Truly is the best start! Good talk ladies. Thanks for baring a bit of your souls....
Thanks for sharing this video, As usual you help me to face my own battles, Being gay and not being able to express it is really hard! You rar such an inspiration for me! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
The sadness in your guys eyes when talking about this made me so sad, also extremely relatable. I'm not Mormon, I"m catholic but I grew up going to church every weekend, going to religious education classes, and although its a known "sin" in our religion its never really talked about? Either way, It still doesnt make it any easier when coming to terms with being gay. My stance on it is that I grew up religious and I just KNOW god doesn't hate me. That might sound completely ridiculous but who knows. I"m not sure how you guys feel on mediums/psychics but theres this guy tyler henry who is an amazing medium, and he wrote a book called, "between two worlds" He's also gay and grew up christian, in his book he says he doesnt consider himself christian anymore, but through his readings and "talking" to people on the other side, hes come to not believe in hell..he says that EVERYONE who comes through NEVER mentions a hell, he's "talked" to people who have committed suicide, who are gay, who were addicts of some kind, all things that religion claims will send you to hell, and NONE of them mention a hell, everyone just comes through happy and free of all the worries and things we deal with in this life. He also has a show if you want to check im out, but my point here is that after reading his book i gained a lot of closure and was a lot more calm. I don't believe there's a hell, and if there is, I dont believe that any one of us are going there. I think once we all pass on, god will just say, "They were all wrong...you get to come in too" its so crazy that just 2 people loving each other can cause so many other people so much anger. Everytime I hear the topic of religion and being gay it reminds me of how far we've come, but how far we still need to go. thank you for this video! I really think its going to help so many people who are struggling with coming out. You two are awesome.
I come from a super conservative southern baptist family. Everything you said, I can totally relate to. Thanks for sharing. Looking forward to more story time videos!
God is LOVE PERIOD!!!!!!! You guys are awesome! I grew up in a strict religion and I left 4 years ago. I'm still a Christian, but I do not believe in Man-made Rules and Regulations! You both are Fully Known and Deeply Loved by your Heavenly Papa! Thanks for being open and honest! God Bless!
You 2 are the best. U should become counselors on this subject. Of course again u have read my thoughts and have known what I am going thru. Thank you for being brave and coming out and talking about religion and being gay. It has helped me so much. You are the best. Love you...
I love this video!! You both are beautiful! I have learned some things from your video and I thank you for that. I believe that love is being true to yourself and respecting each other. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Love has no gender. Thank you both for sharing your story. Till next video-love you guys
Thank you! I came from a religious family. It took me a long time to come out. I had to do what was right for me. Thank God I found my place in life. It took a while but made the right choices for me.
Y’all responded wonderfully! Very respectful, but honest and personal. I struggled with acceptance, and now I feel the closest I’ve ever been to God. I highly recommend the denominations of ‘United Church of Christ’ and ‘United Methodist Church’, both are fantastic ‘open and accepting’ denominations for those wanting to remain active in a church!
Hi Kale and Jess. I waited until you finished your two part series on being Gay and Mormon before I commented because I wanted to hear all that you wanted to say. Having just finished I want to thank you for sharing all of your experiences, feelings and hopes. I am not Mormon and I’m older I think than your typical Jalebird
I believe you handled it very thoughtfully and sincerely while admitting you don’t have all the answers. But honestly, nobody does. The fact that you two love your spas much as each other is a testament to your loving and honest journey. Thank you for letting me in. ❤️😎
I'm proud to be methodist. I happen to be a straight, single (divorced) female, but we have many gay couples in our church who are family to me. You both are going to Heaven one day! My daughters best friend in high school (who she had the BIGGEST crush on and couldn't understand why he never wanted to 'date' her until he 'came out' in their senior year) was like a son to me. And his family (catholic) turned their back on him. Broke my heart! My heart goes out to all that have struggles with who they are and their religion.
I love how open you both are.. i'm not mormon but i dated a guy that was and he was very judgmental..it didn't last because i was more open minded then him. I wish you both a good luck and lasting love ❤❤
You ladies made the right choice you chose love and i believe God only want love for his people! I think Brailey and gage and layla and winston and all your other nieces and nephews are very lucky to have you because they will grow up loving everyone and accepting everyone for their differences and knowing that their aunts are great people no matter what their sexual preferences!
Gee Markale and Jess how strong is your love.. so amazing. You were prepared to put up with so much to be together. But now you know you are both daughters of the most high God. He loves you both , He loves that you love each other. You / we are made in his own image. You have beautiful hearts for each other. Love has no gender, God has given you free will . Religion and all its antiquated rules are not from God, it’s just an institution of ( usually) old men running around in long skirts or robes making up rules that suit themselves. The only rules for life given to us by God are the 10 commandments. Have no heed for the opinions and machinations of Churches and institutions that are building up riches on earth and changing or making up the rules as they go. Just remain true to yourselves always be humble and kind and love and respect one another. . Thank you for this amazing video. Love you both Hugs from the land of Oz 💞😎🇦🇺
You girls are so beautiful inside & out. God made you & loves you just the way you are. I have no doubt he will welcome you both into His kingdom. All we can do is live & love the best we know how and have faith in Him and His love for us. I’m LDS & realize we don’t have all the answers but I have faith that no matter who we are or what we believe in, God will bless us if we are doing our best in to do good in whatever belief we have (if that makes sense). 💋❤️ Ps, Kale, you remind me so much of Maggie Lawson (Juliet in Psych) in this video!
I love that you wore the Love Loud shirt in this. :) And thank you for sharing this with us. I was raised christian up to I was 12 years old. After that we didn't attend church that much. Only when someone got married/ baptized or when there was a funeral. So religion wasn't really an issue when i came out to my parents. But if i attend church for the above reasons i don't feel judged by the religion because I believe that god loves everyone. I think it would have been harder to come out to my religious grandparents but i didn't had to 'cause they unfortunately allready passed away before I realized i was bi. My religion in my day to day life has only thaught me to be the best person i can be and that's it. This was supposed to be a short comment, well that didn't work.
I remember back when you started making videos I felt that maybe you guys still felt a little shame in who you are. I'm a gay woman a little older than Jess and I came out early on in life with my family not being too accepting, but friends were. The moment you can tell yourself that you wouldn't change being gay, even though it might make life easier is the moment you know that you are fully at peace with who you are.
I come from a religious family it’s hard to come out and say am gay but we all have to do it our own way it took me years You girls rock love what you said x
I am bisexual and I'm still a Mormon. In college, I had to go to the bishop's office to confess that I had a relationship with another girl. My bishop literally cried. I chose to get married in the Temple and have kids. I'm lucky that my husband is understanding about my sexuality and I was honest about it with him. I was honest about my past with him. I love my husband and kids. I chose this path and I think this is what makes me the happiest. Your story reminds me of my own and what it could have been if I chose the other way.
I'm so proud of you 2 for doing this story. I no that is hard... I'm not gay... I'm a Christian. but you no. every religion has people judging u.. I say the hell with any religion.. all I can see in u2 is love. kale u are right everything in this world is a mystery.. I believe everyone needs to live day by day.. u no I'm sick and tired of people judging others.... remember that there's people out here that love u2..
One of the fears I had to come to terms with after being out for a while was that my family wouldn't come to my non-catholic wedding. I wanted to get married because I found the person I could wake up and feel grateful for every morning but I was scared. Dumb right? You gotta live your life but that was a big for me. When I finally let go of that and just said it will be what it will be. I was so much happier and my assumptions about Mom and Dad were wrong, they had grown so much they attended the wedding.
This was great guys! Thanks for sharing so much of yourselves. I would love to know and be buds with you guys to sit down and have a conversation about all this. Pick your brain. Share thoughts and stories. I think we’d have a lot to talk about. I am a Christian and regularly attend church, have a relationship with God, and all that stuff :). I love my church. But there are some curiosities and conflicting thoughts I have within my religion too. Anyway....thanks again guys. I love hearing about your experiences.
Its one of the hardest lessons in life. If your not truly happy with yourself, you'll never be able to make other people happy. Your gonna disappoint people you love but be true to who you are, thats what will make lifelong happiness. Thanks for sharing ladies. ❤
i prayed so many days not to be gay. So i prayed one week straight to ask what to do. And everyday that week i had a dream.. and the dream was: to be myself and love a girl the way i should love a boy. After that week i came out to myself. And told my best friend.. After 2 years i told my parents and grandparents my mother had a hard time. And My grandparents where amazing. they told me one single lesson and i always tell people around me this amazing lesson. there is no way people should judge you, because nobody can do that only god can. so what they did is accept me and my (now) wife. They learned my mother to accept it, after i start living together with my wife. now i have an amazing familly that accept me! we all have a diffrent believe but there is one thing we all believe in. And that is love! xx love from the netherlands
I have seen people I. Herero relationships who are cheaters, who have harmed each other, the LDS RELIGION is messed up, how they view gays and gay relationships, especially considering it’s past, w/polygamy. You can’t pick and choose. Jessica is so right in hee pain about how a child woukd have to condemn gay parents, now hiw does that make sense, and what kind of church would even say that?! Very interesting, thought provoking videos! Love you guys! I hope everything is well! Do a post wedding update!!!!
I am SO sorry you both felt that way. My child Sam has dealt with being questioned/ Ostracized. I am right beside Sam. I accept my child for who they are.
Hey guys! Love your videos! I have a Q that may have already been answered so sorry if it has... how did either of your siblings react to yous being gay?
Markale you should listen to Oprah’s podcast. It talks about spirituality and faith and religion in a beautiful way. She interviews people from all walks of life and it’s helped me come to terms with a lot
My husband I left the church in 2015 because we are not comfortable associating with a church that would label gay families as apostates. I kept thinking would I want to be involved with this church if one of my children were gay? The answer was no so we go to community of church services now
I found that in my life, having a personal relationship with the Lord-thru my prayer life & communication with spending time with him-is where I found such clarity and peace of heart & mind. Which is what these two beautiful ladies, seemed to have been able to do as well. As important as it is to be a part of a community; A believing body of believers-worshipping together in fellowship w/one accord, It is also important that we remember that Jesus found that community and ministry thru ppl who were not a part of an organized religion. If we follow HIS example-ship, he spent extensive time with his father in prayer. He followed the the voice and leading of his father and from that relationship, he was able to impact the world! Jesus encountered many ppl who did not agree with his teachings and doctrine. Many of the saga sadducees and Pharisees, (religious establishment) were in major conflict with behavior and teachings. As followers of Jesus, why should WE expect anything different as we follow in HIS footprints. 👣 Jesus, understands what we are feeling because he was a man who experienced many sorrows. He was rejected and scorned- outcasted from his own family and community. He suffered and died, so that WE may live! If we keep our eyes focus on our Heavenly Father, as jesus did, we too will be able to do the will of the father, in-spite of all the haters and the persecution. It’s not an easy path...but being authentic to yourself, and loving God, is the only way to have a truly fulfilling life. God loves and accepts us just as we are! These woman are finally at peace, because they understand that! Wonderful video girls!!!
I’m engaged to the love of my life and I can’t wait to marry her. I was raised as a church of Christ preachers daughter and was not accepted by anyone in my church after I came out but, I have read the Bible for myself without anyone’s opinion and that has allowed me to accept who I am and who I love.
My answer to all those people seeking out advice from your guys is that to do what makes you happy. Yes it may feel like you have to choose one over the other but thats not true. You don't need religion to build a relationship with God. & there are many religions where you can be your 100% true self and be at peace with yourself, like Sikhism. No matter what, everyone will have struggles and be judged regardless of if your gay or straight. People always have opinions. Just do what makes your heart happy, even if that means hurting other people. You're not living your life to please everyone or even anyone. Live it for you, live your journey, be the best person you can be, and be you.
I relate so much to what you’re saying about excepting your sexuality, even though you know you’re gay just coming to terms with it is so difficult. Great video.
Story time idea: have your parents as guests and share their side on how they felt when you were coming out.
Could you both do a story time video on your family. Their reactions and responses when you told them you were gay, and how you told them. Thank you! Great video! Love you both ❤️
Only came across your post now. This is my short story. I am a 53-year-old married woman. I had a relationship with a woman when I was 24 years old. Grew up in a Christian household, back then being gay was totally unacceptable especially in the country I live in. After two years we took the most difficult decision of our lives and broke up, it was awful as we were totally in love. We then tried to stay friends, but couldnt so we called it all together. I then met a man who ticked all the boxes, I was conditioned to understand would make a great husband, one being a Christian. Believed I was in love, got married. Never told him my secret. From the 1st night of marriage, I realised I had made a mistake, vowed to myself to do whatever it takes to make it work. Has been a marriage of many ups and downs, the last 3 years were not good at all, we started discussing divorce or separation. We have two sons. Me not being able to give him the intimacy he needs was a huge issue. A year ago I went on a course called "Discovering your Greatness" started to learn to embrace the real me. People started cropping up on my path I started telling my story, in safe places, have not received any rejection from anybody I have told. Then he read my journal without my permission, found out my secret. He now has his doctorate in theology. I have always been in a relationship with God, not a religion. I talk to Him each and every day, if it was not for Him right now I am not sure where I would be. I have seen miracles happen in my life and I know His love for me, this is what for me counts. Once my husband read my diary things got really bad, I have been told I have never been a Christian, I need Jesus in my life, I can be delivered, healed and fixed. I then need to be reborn again and we will then have an amazing marriage. I have been forced to tell my sons my story and some other family members. It has been a very trying time, but now I have filed for divorce and I am sticking to my guns, embracing the real me, happy me.🤣 I am looking forward to two years from now, this is my goal. It's not other peoples opinion about me that counts it's mine, I am at peace with my decision and know God, Jesus loves me.
That's my very short story. I just want to say, embrace yourself, love who you are, do not sell your self yourself short for anyone. You do not want to go through what I am going through now. If you are not sure investigate investigate for yourself, do not be conditioned by society and other peoples opinions, you will end up in a worse situation that if you stood your ground for the sake of your happiness. You girls are young, the world is changing daily.
LOVE WHO YOU ARE, LOVE THE PLACE YOU ARE IN AND EMBRACE WHO YOU ARE CREATED TO BE. GOD DOES NOT MAKE MISTAKES.
When I worked at Victoria's Secret years ago I was ringing up some customers.. They were such good company and I asked if they were sisters or best friends. There was a pause and they looked at each other with a look.. then it CLICKED. I thought "OH shit they're a couple. Well this is awkward". I sincerely apologized and I felt like complete poop for the rest of the day. I thought about how awkward that was for me but even more, how awkward or maybe even hurt I made them feel. I believe in equality. I couldn't believe that I made such an ignorant remark that I didn't even realize. Ever since then I have learned to be mindful and careful. It broke my heart that I made someone uncomfortable for being themselves. I wasn't judging, but I assumed. And I felt like crap. I hope this can be a learning lesson for others!
Erika M - You didn’t need to apologize because how are you to know? Your question was innocent and fair. They just needed to say, “We’re a couple.” Doesn’t seem like a big deal.
thank you for this! my girlfriend and I get this all the time. I don't blame them though, its the world that has taught people to assume that when boys and girls hang out together, they're dating, and when girls and girls/ boys and boys are together, they're just friends. I know that you don't know, it's just a mistake! it can sometims just be hard to say "we're a couple" because you never know someones views in gay couples
Yup, it is up to us as individuals to learn as well as teach future kids how to go about these topics and being mindful. Wish there was an easier way through this! But regardless of ANYONES opinion, no matter how hard it may seem.. say it loud and proud! That is who you are, that's all you can be, and all you can do :)
I've had people ask if my boyfriend and I are siblings. Wasn't a big deal. A little awkward, sure, but definitely not insulting. So it's not something unique to same sex couples and I definitely wouldn't feel bad for asking.
my fifth comment!!!! I just finished watching Being mormon and gay 1 and 2. Rest assure that without a doubt, you have helped a lot of young adults who are still in that big forest of shame. Just think, your words probably opened the eyes and the hearts of a lot of people that needed answers. Thank you for your insights.
As difficult as this is to talk about, thank you for this for getting these experiences and feelings out there and just going on as yourselves.
This was such a great video, thank you so much for sharing. You should be extremely proud of yourselves, the pain you must have felt coming to terms with this shows how far you both have come. Your family members and true friends love you for who you are. You both are kind, hard working, sweet daughters, sisters, granddaughters, good moral character who happen to be gay. I am in my 60’s, raised Catholic, and have had to step aside from my religion due to some inner turmoil on my part. I am not gay but my sister in law was, she passed away from suicide at 37. I loved her and her partner so much, but her struggles were with bipolar disease and not seeking treatment. I miss her so much and your videos remind me of her. I have discovered that I can still be spiritual and faithful to a loving higher power and not be a “member” of a religious community. Thank you for being brave and sharing your stories, I know you will help a lot of young people struggling with issues related to coming out.
Congratulations for these 2 very honest videos. I am straight and father of a boy. Your videos confirm my will to educate my son in the respect for the differences. I am going to show him your videos. It is important to stay whom we are. Love from Europe
Seriously. Thank you guys so much for sharing. I love learning about your journeys. And I’m sure you are really helping people through sharing. You guys are great!
As a straight non Mormon woman, this was so informative. You guys are awesome. So glad you’re in the place you’re in. Love watching you!
Would love to hear more about your families evolution. How have your religious parents come to accept and embrace you? Your siblings?
I'm going to recommend your channel to my sister. We were raised LDS. She is 54, gay and has lived with her girlfriend for 15 years. I love my sister so much and I know she is conflicted over the same issues you raised in this 2 part series. Thank you for sharing your story! There is no way people are apostates based solely on the fact they are practicing gays. I have a hard time believing in a God who would deem that just.
I first came out as a lesbian when I was 16 and then at 19, Transgender.. so many family members who I loved and trusted abandoned me.. it’s so hard. I’ve found amazing, supportive people along the way.
I would love to see videos of you with your family members talking about how your coming out has affected your relationships.
I appreciate the effort and emotion it took both of you to make this insightful narrative into your fears, and feelings. It was hard to watch because I wanted to remove and shield you from prejudiced and distressing actions of others, but your advice was great, and free of rancor .
This was such a heartfelt, open video. I have no personal connection to religion myself, but I still watched both parts of this video. Thank you for being so open about your story!
I love your Story Time videos, thank you so much they really are worth the wait. You guys are awesome and I love this whole community you created
The further I get from organized religion, the closer I feel to God. It's easier to listen to what God is telling you when a bunch of men aren't shouting what they think God feels into your ear.
Ker C Truth! I relate to this so much.
AGREED!!! 🙌🙌🙌
Kale can ypu do your own story time? Jess did hers and love to hear your story.
Kale's highlighter is amazing!
It is so interesting to see these videos! I felt and still feel very similar to what you both are describing. I remember talking to people about how being a teenager or figuring yourself out is hard enough and then mix in some existential/sexuality issues alongside that and feeling lost is an understatement!
I remember being a teenager and not having many outlets to see vlogs with same sex couples living a normal life with the intricacies and the moments which of course never get caught on camera but encapsulate the essence and bliss of relationships such as these. I only remember maybe South of Nowhere/The L Word and maybe Skins? I feel it is just as important to show the weaknesses we have as much as it is to celebrate the achievements and love shared between two individuals.
It was really intimate and beautiful of you to share this with us, thank you.
Just found you two a few days ago and have been watching a few of your vids here and there! I love the vibes you two give off. I feel like you're both super down to earth and just all round good people. I found out from one of your videos that you (Kale) are related to Kayli Butler. I was not even surprised. She was always the one in the whole Shaytards gang who I felt most connected with through watching their videos a few years back.Wishing you both nothing but the best!
Jess, you said the very thing which, I feel, many people don't remember and that's you can't say its this group or that group (in this instance the LDS church) is wrong by the actions of one person or a group of people and their actions. If I were to go out tomorrow and rob a bank, it wouldn't be right for others to judge my whole religion just because I made a choice to not follow the teachings of my church. It's so hard for people to take the things they were taught (religious or otherwise) out of the picture and just accept and love the person. Accepting and loving does not mean you agree with everything they do, it just means you are willing to look beyond. Thank you both for being brave and sharing.
You guys are so sweet, thank you for sharing your stories 💖
I grew up and still am LDS. I look at myself and I realize my views from growing up in the church to now and still in the church are so DIFFERENT. Growing up I never had any sort of opinion on it. Now and since high school I don’t care, I live by the motto of “People in Glass House shouldn’t throw stones.”. I don’t feel like it’s my right to judge people. I think if my children come to me and tell me they are gay/lesbian, I wouldn’t care, it’s not going to change how I feel about my kids. I want my children to grow up to be who they are and I want them to be kind loving human beings. It’s not my right to tell you who you should love or who you should be with and it’s also not my right to take those rights from other people. All in all I guess I just don’t care if you are or if your not.
So unbelievably grateful to hear your stories. I have zero clue how to ever tell people, & I’m so scared. I’m scared of telling people, but I’m also scared that my life is just.. going by. I’m a spectator, & I hate that. Just makes me sad. I know this couldn’t have been an easy couple of videos to make. Thank you again
thank you for making this video, really appreciate it :) left me in tears so thank you so much!
This was so so so good, thanks for opening up and I am so sure many people will take something away from this. I for sure did!!!❤️ hugs for Kenai
I am LDS and I absolutely love how you explained it all. I can’t understand either how someone who is gay can be compared to a rapist or murderer ect. You seem so happy and you seem like good solid people and I choose to believe that people are more than just their sexuality.
My heart goes out to you. You guys did an amazing job on such a tough topic! I know that 2015 “declaration” was devastating, but that was not from God nor of God; that was from man of whom ALL are flawed sinners. Keep fighting the good fight! Thank you so much for sharing!!!
You guys are a beautiful couple. Love is love and it shouldn't matter who it is with. Love is Love. Love you girls.
Would your parents ever share their side of your coming out? They seem so accepting now.
Two beautiful human being who love each other. Beautifully done video
It's so amazing you made this video (and part 1 as well, of cause)! I'm sure there are many people you are helping with it. I'm not religious, but as far as I understand it: God made you and he decided to make you the way you are, so how can that be wrong?
We want to hear how falling in love with each other ultimately won out. I think it would help many people to better understand how the commitment triumphed. Make that a story time!
ADORE you both! Def an inspiration to me personally, n I'm sure to many others! Thx for sharing ur stories, n I look forward to continue watching the 2 of u on ur beautiful journey thru life! 😘❤️🏳️🌈❤️😘
I respect everyone's right to believe in whoever and whatever. But I have a hard time thinking that whatever higher being that there might me will send me to hell because of who I love or are loved by. The fact that you are loved and can feel love must be better then the opposite
Benny Persson honestly as a Mormon myself, it makes me really sad that we have this stereotype of believing that if you are LGBTQ+ you are going to hell. While some do believe that, the majority don't.
I can tell this was not an... easy topic to speak of but it was and is important. Thank you for your candidness. You will no doubt help others with this video.
This has been great. It's hard enough on a day to day basis... Dr's ofc visits, furniture, renting a home, buying cars, heck even the grocery sometimes. We "come out" All. The. Darn. Time. It gets easier and I'm glad that chapter of my life is long over. I Love me and that Truly is the best start! Good talk ladies. Thanks for baring a bit of your souls....
Wow, y’all are so real, I love it.
Thanks for sharing this video, As usual you help me to face my own battles, Being gay and not being able to express it is really hard! You rar such an inspiration for me! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
The sadness in your guys eyes when talking about this made me so sad, also extremely relatable. I'm not Mormon, I"m catholic but I grew up going to church every weekend, going to religious education classes, and although its a known "sin" in our religion its never really talked about? Either way, It still doesnt make it any easier when coming to terms with being gay. My stance on it is that I grew up religious and I just KNOW god doesn't hate me. That might sound completely ridiculous but who knows.
I"m not sure how you guys feel on mediums/psychics but theres this guy tyler henry who is an amazing medium, and he wrote a book called, "between two worlds" He's also gay and grew up christian, in his book he says he doesnt consider himself christian anymore, but through his readings and "talking" to people on the other side, hes come to not believe in hell..he says that EVERYONE who comes through NEVER mentions a hell, he's "talked" to people who have committed suicide, who are gay, who were addicts of some kind, all things that religion claims will send you to hell, and NONE of them mention a hell, everyone just comes through happy and free of all the worries and things we deal with in this life. He also has a show if you want to check im out, but my point here is that after reading his book i gained a lot of closure and was a lot more calm. I don't believe there's a hell, and if there is, I dont believe that any one of us are going there. I think once we all pass on, god will just say, "They were all wrong...you get to come in too"
its so crazy that just 2 people loving each other can cause so many other people so much anger.
Everytime I hear the topic of religion and being gay it reminds me of how far we've come, but how far we still need to go.
thank you for this video! I really think its going to help so many people who are struggling with coming out. You two are awesome.
You girls are such sweethearts! you make us happy :)
I come from a super conservative southern baptist family. Everything you said, I can totally relate to. Thanks for sharing. Looking forward to more story time videos!
God is LOVE PERIOD!!!!!!! You guys are awesome! I grew up in a strict religion and I left 4 years ago. I'm still a Christian, but I do not believe in Man-made Rules and Regulations! You both are Fully Known and Deeply Loved by your Heavenly Papa! Thanks for being open and honest! God Bless!
You 2 are the best. U should become counselors on this subject. Of course again u have read my thoughts and have known what I am going thru. Thank you for being brave and coming out and talking about religion and being gay. It has helped me so much. You are the best. Love you...
I love this video!! You both are beautiful! I have learned some things from your video and I thank you for that. I believe that love is being true to yourself and respecting each other. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Love has no gender. Thank you both for sharing your story. Till next video-love you guys
Good job ladies loved the vlog can't wait for the next one
Thank you! I came from a religious family. It took me a long time to come out. I had to do what was right for me. Thank God I found my place in life. It took a while but made the right choices for me.
Thank you for sharing your story! Great job ladies! 😍❤️
Y’all responded wonderfully! Very respectful, but honest and personal. I struggled with acceptance, and now I feel the closest I’ve ever been to God. I highly recommend the denominations of ‘United Church of Christ’ and ‘United Methodist Church’, both are fantastic ‘open and accepting’ denominations for those wanting to remain active in a church!
This video is really great you both did amazing thank you so much love you both hugs
Hi Kale and Jess. I waited until you finished your two part series on being Gay and Mormon before I commented because I wanted to hear all that you wanted to say. Having just finished I want to thank you for sharing all of your experiences, feelings and hopes. I am not Mormon and I’m older I think than your typical Jalebird
I believe you handled it very thoughtfully and sincerely while admitting you don’t have all the answers. But honestly, nobody does. The fact that you two love your spas much as each other is a testament to your loving and honest journey. Thank you for letting me in. ❤️😎
Kale can you do your coming out story
AS an Older strait male I wish more people were like you both.
Loved this! Would also love a “do each others makeup” in Kale & Jess’ ratchet salon
So great of u both to share your path with others beginning this journey. ❤️
Religion is based in fear. Be who you are and Love who you Love.
I'm proud to be methodist. I happen to be a straight, single (divorced) female, but we have many gay couples in our church who are family to me. You both are going to Heaven one day! My daughters best friend in high school (who she had the BIGGEST crush on and couldn't understand why he never wanted to 'date' her until he 'came out' in their senior year) was like a son to me. And his family (catholic) turned their back on him. Broke my heart! My heart goes out to all that have struggles with who they are and their religion.
I love how open you both are.. i'm not mormon but i dated a guy that was and he was very judgmental..it didn't last because i was more open minded then him. I wish you both a good luck and lasting love ❤❤
You ladies made the right choice you chose love and i believe God only want love for his people! I think Brailey and gage and layla and winston and all your other nieces and nephews are very lucky to have you because they will grow up loving everyone and accepting everyone for their differences and knowing that their aunts are great people no matter what their sexual preferences!
Gee Markale and Jess how strong is your love.. so amazing. You were prepared to put up with so much to be together. But now you know you are both daughters of the most high God. He loves you both , He loves that you love each other. You / we are made in his own image. You have beautiful hearts for each other. Love has no gender, God has given you free will . Religion and all its antiquated rules are not from God, it’s just an institution of ( usually) old men running around in long skirts or robes making up rules that suit themselves. The only rules for life given to us by God are the 10 commandments. Have no heed for the opinions and machinations of Churches and institutions that are building up riches on earth and changing or making up the rules as they go. Just remain true to yourselves always be humble and kind and love and respect one another. .
Thank you for this amazing video. Love you both
Hugs from the land of Oz
💞😎🇦🇺
You girls are so beautiful inside & out. God made you & loves you just the way you are. I have no doubt he will welcome you both into His kingdom. All we can do is live & love the best we know how and have faith in Him and His love for us. I’m LDS & realize we don’t have all the answers but I have faith that no matter who we are or what we believe in, God will bless us if we are doing our best in to do good in whatever belief we have (if that makes sense). 💋❤️
Ps, Kale, you remind me so much of Maggie Lawson (Juliet in Psych) in this video!
Thanks for this, you're so brave for sharing💜
I love that you wore the Love Loud shirt in this. :) And thank you for sharing this with us.
I was raised christian up to I was 12 years old. After that we didn't attend church that much. Only when someone got married/ baptized or when there was a funeral. So religion wasn't really an issue when i came out to my parents. But if i attend church for the above reasons i don't feel judged by the religion because I believe that god loves everyone. I think it would have been harder to come out to my religious grandparents but i didn't had to 'cause they unfortunately allready passed away before I realized i was bi. My religion in my day to day life has only thaught me to be the best person i can be and that's it.
This was supposed to be a short comment, well that didn't work.
I remember back when you started making videos I felt that maybe you guys still felt a little shame in who you are. I'm a gay woman a little older than Jess and I came out early on in life with my family not being too accepting, but friends were.
The moment you can tell yourself that you wouldn't change being gay, even though it might make life easier is the moment you know that you are fully at peace with who you are.
You guys are inspirational.
I come from a religious family it’s hard to come out and say am gay but we all have to do it our own way it took me years You girls rock love what you said x
I. Am. So. Hype. For. This. Upload OMG
I am bisexual and I'm still a Mormon. In college, I had to go to the bishop's office to confess that I had a relationship with another girl. My bishop literally cried. I chose to get married in the Temple and have kids. I'm lucky that my husband is understanding about my sexuality and I was honest about it with him. I was honest about my past with him. I love my husband and kids. I chose this path and I think this is what makes me the happiest. Your story reminds me of my own and what it could have been if I chose the other way.
Everybody has their own road to walk.
You both are beautiful people. Stay blessed.
What do you mean they can ex communicate you? like the church or will they force your family to ex communicate you too?
I'm so proud of you 2 for doing this story. I no that is hard... I'm not gay... I'm a Christian. but you no. every religion has people judging u.. I say the hell with any religion.. all I can see in u2 is love. kale u are right everything in this world is a mystery.. I believe everyone needs to live day by day.. u no I'm sick and tired of people judging others.... remember that there's people out here that love u2..
I just love you guys. ❤️
One of the fears I had to come to terms with after being out for a while was that my family wouldn't come to my non-catholic wedding. I wanted to get married because I found the person I could wake up and feel grateful for every morning but I was scared. Dumb right? You gotta live your life but that was a big for me. When I finally let go of that and just said it will be what it will be. I was so much happier and my assumptions about Mom and Dad were wrong, they had grown so much they attended the wedding.
This was great guys! Thanks for sharing so much of yourselves. I would love to know and be buds with you guys to sit down and have a conversation about all this. Pick your brain. Share thoughts and stories. I think we’d have a lot to talk about. I am a Christian and regularly attend church, have a relationship with God, and all that stuff :). I love my church. But there are some curiosities and conflicting thoughts I have within my religion too. Anyway....thanks again guys. I love hearing about your experiences.
Its one of the hardest lessons in life. If your not truly happy with yourself, you'll never be able to make other people happy. Your gonna disappoint people you love but be true to who you are, thats what will make lifelong happiness. Thanks for sharing ladies. ❤
Again huge respect for sharing your thoughts and feelings ❤️
i prayed so many days not to be gay. So i prayed one week straight to ask what to do. And everyday that week i had a dream.. and the dream was: to be myself and love a girl the way i should love a boy. After that week i came out to myself. And told my best friend.. After 2 years i told my parents and grandparents my mother had a hard time. And My grandparents where amazing. they told me one single lesson and i always tell people around me this amazing lesson. there is no way people should judge you, because nobody can do that only god can. so what they did is accept me and my (now) wife. They learned my mother to accept it, after i start living together with my wife. now i have an amazing familly that accept me! we all have a diffrent believe but there is one thing we all believe in. And that is love! xx love from the netherlands
I've had to turn that the hard way. But I love myself every day for who I am.. I just say do you boo! It helps for lots of things
Thank you so much for sharing your story!
Well said, we all need to fine our paths.
I have seen people I. Herero relationships who are cheaters, who have harmed each other, the LDS RELIGION is messed up, how they view gays and gay relationships, especially considering it’s past, w/polygamy. You can’t pick and choose. Jessica is so right in hee pain about how a child woukd have to condemn gay parents, now hiw does that make sense, and what kind of church would even say that?! Very interesting, thought provoking videos! Love you guys! I hope everything is well! Do a post wedding update!!!!
I am SO sorry you both felt that way. My child Sam has dealt with being questioned/ Ostracized. I am right beside Sam. I accept my child for who they are.
Iam so proud of y'all much love to y'all
Hey guys! Love your videos! I have a Q that may have already been answered so sorry if it has... how did either of your siblings react to yous being gay?
Someday i hope organized religions will be a thing of the past. Acceptance, love, peace.. that’s what we need.
As a muslim born in Egypt this was very very interesting to watch.
Markale you should listen to Oprah’s podcast. It talks about spirituality and faith and religion in a beautiful way. She interviews people from all walks of life and it’s helped me come to terms with a lot
Would you guys consider living somewhere instead of Utah?
Would you consider moving to another state or place that is more gay friendly i guess
My husband I left the church in 2015 because we are not comfortable associating with a church that would label gay families as apostates. I kept thinking would I want to be involved with this church if one of my children were gay? The answer was no so we go to community of church services now
I found that in my life, having a personal relationship with the Lord-thru my prayer life & communication with spending time with him-is where I found such clarity and peace of heart & mind. Which is what these two beautiful ladies, seemed to have been able to do as well. As important as it is to be a part of a community; A believing body of believers-worshipping together in fellowship w/one accord, It is also important that we remember that Jesus found that community and ministry thru ppl who were not a part of an organized religion. If we follow HIS example-ship, he spent extensive time with his father in prayer. He followed the the voice and leading of his father and from that relationship, he was able to impact the world! Jesus encountered many ppl who did not agree with his teachings and doctrine. Many of the saga sadducees and Pharisees, (religious establishment) were in major conflict with behavior and teachings. As followers of Jesus, why should WE expect anything different as we follow in HIS footprints. 👣
Jesus, understands what we are feeling because he was a man who experienced many sorrows. He was rejected and scorned- outcasted from his own family and community. He suffered and died, so that WE may live!
If we keep our eyes focus on our Heavenly Father, as jesus did, we too will be able to do the will of the father, in-spite of all the haters and the persecution. It’s not an easy path...but being authentic to yourself, and loving God, is the only way to have a truly fulfilling life. God loves and accepts us just as we are! These woman are finally at peace, because they understand that! Wonderful video girls!!!
I’m engaged to the love of my life and I can’t wait to marry her. I was raised as a church of Christ preachers daughter and was not accepted by anyone in my church after I came out but, I have read the Bible for myself without anyone’s opinion and that has allowed me to accept who I am and who I love.
My answer to all those people seeking out advice from your guys is that to do what makes you happy. Yes it may feel like you have to choose one over the other but thats not true. You don't need religion to build a relationship with God. & there are many religions where you can be your 100% true self and be at peace with yourself, like Sikhism. No matter what, everyone will have struggles and be judged regardless of if your gay or straight. People always have opinions. Just do what makes your heart happy, even if that means hurting other people. You're not living your life to please everyone or even anyone. Live it for you, live your journey, be the best person you can be, and be you.
Clicked so fast!!!
Stacey Chapman same lol
My cousin came out and said that he was gay. He also was raised in the mormon religion.
I relate so much to what you’re saying about excepting your sexuality, even though you know you’re gay just coming to terms with it is so difficult. Great video.
I love you guys you video is so good ❤️❤️😍😍
You're both great role models xx