My now-wife had three separate guys tell her this at different times and another guy claimed God wanted him to matchmake for her. One of them, I think, was genuine and cared about her. He was very mature in his rejection. The others were just nuts. The matchmaker became deeply offended and hasn't spoken to either of us since we married. Guys, if you really really really feel like God has set this woman aside for you, don't tell her. Try to earn her, and if it doesn't work out, be an adult about it.
Good response. This man definitely needs to have a godly older man in his life to provide insight to this. Church leadership also may need to get involved as this is approaching harassment levels.
I had a man do this over years! It was soooo creepy! He would tell me I’m not in the will of God because I didn’t want to be with him. He finally got the hint in 2022 that I will never ever be with him. Thank God for protection and ending that nightmare.
That "cornering" thing sounds scary. After several rejection, it just sounds like disrespect bordering on harrasment. You can talk to him to explain, but maybe you can ask a church friend or two to be around when that happens just to be safe. I would also suggest to reach out to his leader or pastor if that talking-to doesn't work.
Pastor John is overly patient. In this day and age of church sex abuse and shootings I am shocked he is laying so much spiritual responsibility on this woman who is being stalked. I don't think sister is responsible to create the proper spiritual environment to tell a creep to buzz off. That's elderships job from the word go. Ladies, tell him once nicely. Tell him the second time very plainly and draw a picture if you need too. The third time tell the elders and they should kindly but directly intervene, not waiting for occurrence #4 and tell him to stay on his side of the isle. If it happens again, the message to Mr. Creeper is, "We love you but you can't worship with us - you have to find another church. We will not tell you again, we will phone police." Super simple. Church leadership can't do that? Then sister needs to find a church where shepherds protect the flock.
@Psalm119-50 it has nothing to do with being long suffering. Clearly you have never been stalked or been around people who are mentally unstable. This is where we must be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. Supposed this guy harms her? He can't take no for an answer and is making her uncomfortable. Would God want his daughter to be cornered? Having been harassed before I had to put measures in place to protect myself...I am not even waiting around for elders of the church as they fumble around waiting to see what would happen. Jesus set boundaries for people and so should we
@@Psalm119-50 If someone breaks into your home how long are you going to spend working to cultivate the proper spiritual environment before you take action? Stalking is very concerning and is a common precursor to violent crime. So this needs to be nipped in the bud. Doesn't mean elders have to be mean, or condescending. You can be kind, show concern, while at the same time communicating a behavior needs to stop or consequences will follow.
I wonder how many guys are listening to this thinking the woman they’re obsessed with is the one asking this question. No means no bud. Be the kind of man who can be equally yoked to the kind of woman you want.
Great, biblical diplomacy is truly art work. Oppression of others is definitely something I judge harshly, inviting someone to self-reflection is definitely key. 🙏🏾
Please please keep in contact with this lady, and check on her. She may be in a lot of danger because of this man. The advice is good IF the man is willing to listen but is she has already told him no, it sounds like it may only make it worse. Please she reached out to this channel, keep her in your prayers and keep contact.
I feel for this woman. My ex was like this and told me that I was his God given wife, that he would do anything to get me back, stalked me across social media, and one time at school, etc. I blocked him and my mom blocked him, and he called from a burner phone with a voicemail asking if I was alive because he had gotten a message that I was “hurting myself” . I gave him time to back off but eventually had to get a no contact order through my university. If he tries to contact me after I graduate I’ll probably get a restraining order. I was only with him for seven months, thank the Lord that his car wrecked so I was able to finally have time to plan how to leave. He went as far as to uber 40 miles to my church before I broke up with him and the men had to send him away. I am grateful that God has protected me since then.
Also thankful that God protected me during the relationship from falling into sexual sin (despite pressure from him) and giving me the discernment to see through his manipulative tactics.
Give this guy some Brayden Steckler videos stat. Or Daily Disciple's channel "Men on Mission". These are excellent channels for learning how to be a man in a Christian way. And mentoring from a more spiritually mature male in the church. And if a guy says "God said we're going to get married" or some variation of that, run 1000mph in the other direction.
With all due respect, that young lady needs to get out of there as soon as possible. That is scary, no need to pray and wait just get outa there!!oh and notify that to the authorities
This was an answer worthy of the congratulations u'll surely receive from the Lord. I'd be surprised if u didn't win an "I slipped out of a Sanhedrin word trap" award (T-shirt, if u prefer ;) Ty for all ur service & insights❣️
And what exactly are the police supposed to do? What crime has this man committed? When she tells the police this man believes it's God's will that we get married and he won't stop telling me that they're going to laugh at her because this is not a crime. Now please don't misunderstand me I think she should leave that church immediately and never see that man again but the police are going to laugh at her and tell her there's nothing they can do the man has done nothing to have the police called
I highly recommend keezano’s Your Life Your Game📕 This book truly changed my life…It beautifully shows how connecting with God and focusing on your family can lead to spiritual growth, stronger relationships, and success in both your personal and professional life.
You have gone to him and asked him to stop. That's the first step. I would pull someone else in to this situation and ask them to be with you when you say no. If he still persists, get the elders/pastor involved. You are being harassed and this behavior needs to stop. If he still persists after being talked to by the church leaders, get the police involved and file a restraining order. Don't wait!
I honestly think John has lost the plot on this one. It's a serious case of harassment that should never be tolerated in the church. This man thinks she should submit to him as his wife for the rest of her life yet seems to have done nothing to prove his own worth as a potential husband who will love her as Christ loved the church. He's not even listening to her. One might be forgiven for thinking that he's completely nuts. The eldership need to step in and the guy's past behavior questioned to see if this is a pattern and the church needs to look seriously at the teaching it is delivering around marriage.
I know you're trying to do the right thing in the situation, but I wouldn't be trying to spare any feelings. I would be protecting myself. Pastor John's responses are Biblically "correct", but I'm not sure if they are wise for your situation. These are manipulative behaviors and it may not even be wise to discuss it with the guy. He does not respect your opinion, and he is blinded by feelings. If it were me, I would issue one firm warning to stop harassing me, and then go to the restraining order.
I think this is what makes Pastor John’s answer so brilliant. He’s viewing it from the perspective that this man is his genuinely misguided and he should be treated as such. But Pastor John qualifies his answer at the end by saying if all of these strategies don’t work, you need to have church leadership separate you two for 6 months. It’s an incredibly mature response to a probably incredibly immature situation
I’m confused-do you not think the Lord will protect a daughter in Christ who is doing everything according to her good conscience in this situation? John Piper has faith in God’s protective hand. How about us? Do we have faith that the Lord has given Piper fruits of the Spirit here?
Wisdom is important. This man is showing that he is not safe for her to interact with because he seems to be obsessed with her. I’ve been in a similar situation and it was bad.
I’ve heard women say they were approached with men telling them this. They were always young and attractive. I bet this never happens to older unattractive women. People can be nuts. She’d do well to get church leaders involved immediately as well as a restraining order from the police.
Pastor John’s advice was good and biblical for her if she was right at the beginning of dealing with this , but it sounds like from her question that it has escalated to being creepy and this brother in Lord needs some stern leadership intervention. Also the leadership of her church needs to do some in-depth teaching on what a word from the Lord actually is and that may help the congregation have more confidence in the Bible to not be so intimidated by these people who claim to have “ heard from God”.
I too like others here find that these 5 steps are too many. They kind of make sense but (hoping it doesn't need to go there) I would keep the content of 5 steps, and condense them into maybe three steps. I would then add a 4th step: refer the stalker to the police. Of course we care about the guy who at best seems to be quite confused, but there is potential risk for the woman here and the onus is not on her to save the guy. Why did pastor John not add the police step to his 5 steps? The woman needs to be protected first and foremost. It makes no sense to reclaim permissive gun laws for self-defense, and then not remind people that safety enforcement by police is a legit and recommended recourse while proposing only in-house measures. Let's not follow the catholic church example here.
She is right in looking for her Knight in shining armour. Because he is on 🌎 as the very doys of old & as the fairy tell goes but is not a fairy tail. ✝️ Serekh Itto ☪️ Shalom
My now-wife had three separate guys tell her this at different times and another guy claimed God wanted him to matchmake for her. One of them, I think, was genuine and cared about her. He was very mature in his rejection. The others were just nuts. The matchmaker became deeply offended and hasn't spoken to either of us since we married. Guys, if you really really really feel like God has set this woman aside for you, don't tell her. Try to earn her, and if it doesn't work out, be an adult about it.
But... "God" told me !
@@joshs.7612 The flip side is she has known multiple women who ended relationships because God told them that he had other plans for them.
"The worst she can say is no"
*appears on APJ*
🤣 As she should
😂😂 this comment wins the internet today
Loll
😂😂😂
Actually “ No I’m married to God” if that doesn’t win the internet idk what does lol
Good response. This man definitely needs to have a godly older man in his life to provide insight to this. Church leadership also may need to get involved as this is approaching harassment levels.
This guys sounds dangerous. She needs to get leadership involved immediately.
I had a man do this over years! It was soooo creepy! He would tell me I’m not in the will of God because I didn’t want to be with him. He finally got the hint in 2022 that I will never ever be with him. Thank God for protection and ending that nightmare.
That "cornering" thing sounds scary. After several rejection, it just sounds like disrespect bordering on harrasment.
You can talk to him to explain, but maybe you can ask a church friend or two to be around when that happens just to be safe.
I would also suggest to reach out to his leader or pastor if that talking-to doesn't work.
The entitlement is off the charts with this guy. Please be careful.
It’s that prophetic rizz
😅🤣😂
*FALSE prophetic rizz
Pastor John is overly patient. In this day and age of church sex abuse and shootings I am shocked he is laying so much spiritual responsibility on this woman who is being stalked. I don't think sister is responsible to create the proper spiritual environment to tell a creep to buzz off. That's elderships job from the word go. Ladies, tell him once nicely. Tell him the second time very plainly and draw a picture if you need too. The third time tell the elders and they should kindly but directly intervene, not waiting for occurrence #4 and tell him to stay on his side of the isle. If it happens again, the message to Mr. Creeper is, "We love you but you can't worship with us - you have to find another church. We will not tell you again, we will phone police." Super simple. Church leadership can't do that? Then sister needs to find a church where shepherds protect the flock.
Overly patient?
Is God longsuffering? Or would you rather God not, be overly patient?
Not talking about God here but to some nuts guy harassing women
I couldn't agree more. There are some mentally unstable people that you can't reason with.
@Psalm119-50 it has nothing to do with being long suffering. Clearly you have never been stalked or been around people who are mentally unstable. This is where we must be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. Supposed this guy harms her? He can't take no for an answer and is making her uncomfortable. Would God want his daughter to be cornered? Having been harassed before I had to put measures in place to protect myself...I am not even waiting around for elders of the church as they fumble around waiting to see what would happen. Jesus set boundaries for people and so should we
@@Psalm119-50 If someone breaks into your home how long are you going to spend working to cultivate the proper spiritual environment before you take action? Stalking is very concerning and is a common precursor to violent crime. So this needs to be nipped in the bud. Doesn't mean elders have to be mean, or condescending. You can be kind, show concern, while at the same time communicating a behavior needs to stop or consequences will follow.
I wonder how many guys are listening to this thinking the woman they’re obsessed with is the one asking this question. No means no bud. Be the kind of man who can be equally yoked to the kind of woman you want.
I'd go to the Lord first, pastors and elders immediately afterward. That is harrassment.
Great, biblical diplomacy is truly art work. Oppression of others is definitely something I judge harshly, inviting someone to self-reflection is definitely key. 🙏🏾
Me: man i did not handle that rejection the best I'm the worst
*sees this video*
Me: ah nevermind
I was waiting for" first, get a restraining order"😂😂 but as usual and why i subscribe, we are pointed to Christ 🙌🏾
Please please keep in contact with this lady, and check on her. She may be in a lot of danger because of this man. The advice is good IF the man is willing to listen but is she has already told him no, it sounds like it may only make it worse. Please she reached out to this channel, keep her in your prayers and keep contact.
if he has gone to you more than once. Say no im not interested in you. At once go directly to the pastors or elders. Refuse to be alone with him.
That's a Stalker! Leave ASAP
I discern she could be in a dangerous position. She needs to report this man immediately.
Thank you " Lord " for giving Pastor John this wisdom 🙏
I feel for this woman. My ex was like this and told me that I was his God given wife, that he would do anything to get me back, stalked me across social media, and one time at school, etc. I blocked him and my mom blocked him, and he called from a burner phone with a voicemail asking if I was alive because he had gotten a message that I was “hurting myself” . I gave him time to back off but eventually had to get a no contact order through my university. If he tries to contact me after I graduate I’ll probably get a restraining order. I was only with him for seven months, thank the Lord that his car wrecked so I was able to finally have time to plan how to leave. He went as far as to uber 40 miles to my church before I broke up with him and the men had to send him away. I am grateful that God has protected me since then.
Also thankful that God protected me during the relationship from falling into sexual sin (despite pressure from him) and giving me the discernment to see through his manipulative tactics.
Maybe you could just call your Dad or Brother to handle it for you? That dude doesn't sound safe to be around.
Nothing happens outside of God's will and ordination
Give this guy some Brayden Steckler videos stat. Or Daily Disciple's channel "Men on Mission". These are excellent channels for learning how to be a man in a Christian way. And mentoring from a more spiritually mature male in the church.
And if a guy says "God said we're going to get married" or some variation of that, run 1000mph in the other direction.
may those that are blind have their eyes opened to actual reality and may we live in the truth of our Lord!
With all due respect, that young lady needs to get out of there as soon as possible. That is scary, no need to pray and wait just get outa there!!oh and notify that to the authorities
Such wise counsel🙏🏾🙏🏾
This was an answer worthy of the congratulations u'll surely receive from the Lord. I'd be surprised if u didn't win an "I slipped out of a Sanhedrin word trap" award (T-shirt, if u prefer ;)
Ty for all ur service & insights❣️
She needs to go to the police and find another church.
Exactly
And what exactly are the police supposed to do? What crime has this man committed? When she tells the police this man believes it's God's will that we get married and he won't stop telling me that they're going to laugh at her because this is not a crime. Now please don't misunderstand me I think she should leave that church immediately and never see that man again but the police are going to laugh at her and tell her there's nothing they can do the man has done nothing to have the police called
The police cannot do anything because a dude is weird. If that's the case most of this country would be in jail because most of this country is weird
@@theack777 if he's incessantly texting (which appears the case here) or contacting her that's stalking which a crime in many jurisdictions
I highly recommend keezano’s Your Life Your Game📕 This book truly changed my life…It beautifully shows how connecting with God and focusing on your family can lead to spiritual growth, stronger relationships, and success in both your personal and professional life.
You have gone to him and asked him to stop. That's the first step. I would pull someone else in to this situation and ask them to be with you when you say no. If he still persists, get the elders/pastor involved. You are being harassed and this behavior needs to stop. If he still persists after being talked to by the church leaders, get the police involved and file a restraining order. Don't wait!
Mid guys thinking that their nice guy Christian act is going to get them a wife 😂
Soli Deo Gloria for this.
Love is not something you can earn. Just pick someone and love them.
I honestly think John has lost the plot on this one. It's a serious case of harassment that should never be tolerated in the church. This man thinks she should submit to him as his wife for the rest of her life yet seems to have done nothing to prove his own worth as a potential husband who will love her as Christ loved the church. He's not even listening to her. One might be forgiven for thinking that he's completely nuts. The eldership need to step in and the guy's past behavior questioned to see if this is a pattern and the church needs to look seriously at the teaching it is delivering around marriage.
Thank you
I know you're trying to do the right thing in the situation, but I wouldn't be trying to spare any feelings. I would be protecting myself. Pastor John's responses are Biblically "correct", but I'm not sure if they are wise for your situation. These are manipulative behaviors and it may not even be wise to discuss it with the guy. He does not respect your opinion, and he is blinded by feelings. If it were me, I would issue one firm warning to stop harassing me, and then go to the restraining order.
I think this is what makes Pastor John’s answer so brilliant. He’s viewing it from the perspective that this man is his genuinely misguided and he should be treated as such. But Pastor John qualifies his answer at the end by saying if all of these strategies don’t work, you need to have church leadership separate you two for 6 months. It’s an incredibly mature response to a probably incredibly immature situation
I’m confused-do you not think the Lord will protect a daughter in Christ who is doing everything according to her good conscience in this situation?
John Piper has faith in God’s protective hand. How about us? Do we have faith that the Lord has given Piper fruits of the Spirit here?
Wisdom is important. This man is showing that he is not safe for her to interact with because he seems to be obsessed with her. I’ve been in a similar situation and it was bad.
Thank you
I’ve heard women say they were approached with men telling them this. They were always young and attractive. I bet this never happens to older unattractive women. People can be nuts. She’d do well to get church leaders involved immediately as well as a restraining order from the police.
Pastor John’s advice was good and biblical for her if she was right at the beginning of dealing with this , but it sounds like from her question that it has escalated to being creepy and this brother in Lord needs some stern leadership intervention. Also the leadership of her church needs to do some in-depth teaching on what a word from the Lord actually is and that may help the congregation have more confidence in the Bible to not be so intimidated by these people who claim to have “ heard from God”.
This comment section is unusually hilarious
What's so funny Luke?
I too like others here find that these 5 steps are too many. They kind of make sense but (hoping it doesn't need to go there) I would keep the content of 5 steps, and condense them into maybe three steps. I would then add a 4th step: refer the stalker to the police.
Of course we care about the guy who at best seems to be quite confused, but there is potential risk for the woman here and the onus is not on her to save the guy. Why did pastor John not add the police step to his 5 steps? The woman needs to be protected first and foremost.
It makes no sense to reclaim permissive gun laws for self-defense, and then not remind people that safety enforcement by police is a legit and recommended recourse while proposing only in-house measures.
Let's not follow the catholic church example here.
call the cops lmao
dude must be mid lol
She is right in looking for her Knight in shining armour. Because he is on 🌎 as the very doys of old & as the fairy tell goes but is not a fairy tail. ✝️ Serekh Itto ☪️
Shalom
Wrong, you should be doing what God wants you to do.
Shush