Deeper err feely o ours pitys blind blursed blackbox baka uncanny valley whrrrs sways felled n failed dat chances darlings theys fiend zone oot meh furs theys reason idfk efforts exhaustive goners rates keeping paces choatic atmosphere truely territory terrify tissues muscle memory whrrrs o wot attachments o theys meanys wits theys sways o oot measures meh err dat dablage daze n confusion so zelf punch rounds hop itty stupor effective so hopeless romantic epic proportions oot err o theys leagues so ood b fores theys knows itty iffy theys cares bouts us n alls kismitt err theys enjoyment instantaneously gratification sum sort o err n uncharted whrrrs ago so unfamiliar ood sensation session o maido looky floop d fool o honesty idfk err n learning bouts kinda careless n clueless cuteness nya sojourneys
It's hard to fall in love when you are extremely anxious to think that the person who claims that they love you is just putting up a front when they are actually lying to you.
That hits hard for me. My ex told me she loved me and cared about my feelings but it felt she only ever did when it effected her feelings. We don't talk anymore and it really hurts because I wasn't ready to say goodbye in such a quiet way.
@@johnins0mnia584 You know what Buddy?? There's no 'Ex' in true love. It's your 'Girl' , 'Fiancèe' or your 'Forever Love' there's no honest woman in this world if you want an 'Ex'. Think again, which one made the mistake...
That was my boyfriend for a short while. I didn’t notice but he admitted to me after a few short months of dating that he wasn’t allowing himself to trust me because he suspected that I was either lying about the way that I felt and/or was gonna end up using him like other people in his life had…He told me then that he now was gonna make the decision to trust me because “I had many chances to do so”… It broke my heart a little to see more how much his life sucked, but I was happy that he trusted me enough to tell me how he had been feeling
I'm not afraid of love. I'm afraid of loving the wrong kind of person. Love blinds us, makes us accept things a logical mind wouldn't. & there are plenty of people out there who will gladly take advantage of that. You can lose a lot more than just a partner if you fall for the wrong person.
For me: I'm not terrified of love. I'm more of terrified of being hurt by the one I love. As a result, few of the signs are relatable. I never know when I'll find someone. That's if my stupid fear can stop being that way.... Not as a first step but more of an interference.
Couldn't agree more. I dated someone who kind of traumatised me, so much so that I was afraid to go in another relationship again. I have given it another chance, but this fear still exists :(
This reminds me about a saying I heard some time ago: Love is giving another person the power to destroy you while at the same time trusting they will not use that power.
@@PRGME7 Would a person, who really loves you, hurt you? You don't give every person the key to your heart right when they come through your door. It's a slow process where you check if the person can be trusted. If you are confident enough, you can trust them more and more. Or would you always go out with a knife behind your back and take the first chance to stab your partner in the back at the first possible opportunity or when you see that they are at their most vulnerable point?
@ 1: I’m seeing lots of assumptions about my character that I hope to clear up. 2: a person who truly loves you would not hurt you. But, 3: finding somebody like that has a lot of risks. There are more ways for a relationship to go bad than ways for it to succeed . I don’t often allow people to have a “key to my heart”. But, 4: it doesn’t mean I’m a Machiavellian or narcissist. I don’t stab people in the back. My concern is that I will be in the crosshairs of a backstabber. That’s why I consider giving somebody the power to destroy you a terrible idea in general. Because if you give that power to somebody with malicious intentions they will do exactly what you accused me of. Hope this clears everything up.
I've never really let myself fall in love. I always wanted to do what adults around me seemed to be saying: prepare for your future. So I never made time to be social: it seemed natural for an introvert like me, so I wasn't too worried at the time. But I did develop big feelings for someone, just for them to use me as their emotional safety net. And that future I prepared for never came: I missed out on relationships for nothing. I'm not bitter anymore, but love for me at this point in my adult life feels like a fiction, something that I can dream about but never really experience. Almost 30 and never been in a relationship, never really loved. I wish, but I do not will. Hopefully I meet someone that makes the risk seem worth it.
Hadn't you missed out on relationships, you could have been played the same or worse, with experience and confidence REGARDLESS. That's what this channel and comments don't understand. Being the best version of yourself will never, EVER assure you attract a partner who is truthful and who likes you just as much as you like them. It's a lie.
It's not too late. You can think of it as a new beginning. Even if you're not actively looking for a date its good to think about what you want for a partner and what you're not willing to tolerate, and also practice open communication with friends and family. Good platonic relationships can help a lot with when you want to form a romantic one with someone you like ❤️🥰
@@fistofram5526 Do you think someone without being the best still gets love? Even at the expense of another person? Also, better be the best for yourself than your non existent partner
I've usually been afraid to admit my feelings for someone I like, out of fear that those feelings won't be reciprocated. But I also suffered from a low confidence issue back then and am slowly building it back up. Hopefully my confidence boost can help me find the right partner!
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I have not been someones first choice as a romantic partner in over 10 years. I am always a plan B, and they always cheat / leave for someone else even when it gets going. Its not worth it anymore. Spending time and money with my friends and family with 0 romantic distractions for years is the best decision ive made.
Philophobia is one of those things that gets you confused between being gamophobic, aromantic, or asexual. And I'd know because I'm still confused on which one is actually causing the issue. And let it be warned: It's not something you can easily suppress with low self-esteem or self-confidence. It hits you back like a semi-truck.
Never expected I would get something like this. I used to think that relationships and life are easy, you just find the one you like and a job and boom, life complete, no problems. Nothing ugly would happen. I never expected to be abused at such a level that intimate situations would make me feel like some beaten abandoned dog when it gets to an animal shelter and is afraid of what humans might do to it. I pray to God that people who suffer from this will get over such an experience or whatever makes them uncomfortable.
One of the most eye-opening things I ever read was a text from a friend that said to me, "Your level of self-loathing is astounding." It's difficult for me to even imagine someone actually loving ALL of me, not just as a friend. Likewise, I abhor the idea of using someone for my own benefit, so I feel like I need to fully self-improve before I can allow myself to even begin the pursuit. Once that happens, where's the line between expectations and reality? I don't want much. Someone with shared core values, who shares similar interests, and shared fascination in what the other has to say. Show me a woman I can live for, and I'll show you how far a man will go to make a life worth living.
From this text alone it sounds like you need someone to be your best, throw it away. I started attracting women like crazy when I started thinking I'll be alone FOREVER and I was alright with it imagine all other humans are dead, what would you do with your time???. It's called raizon detre and some people don't ever find it, some put the results on others reactions. Don't ask for a women to live for because you will never get that, always be ready to be abandoned and always be alright if it happens. This level of detachment will attract women and the right ones at that. Women don't want to be the reason for your being, they want to be the sprinkles on the ice cream. Also quick tip it's a hard practice but always have no expectations until you get to the point with a girl where you have obligations. Otherwise you look like an objective setter and women won't follow your lead until you prove your a good leader(could tske months). Suggested books you should read are "the art of seduction" by robert greene and "meditations" by Marcus Aurelius. Once you get these mindsets your gold. Don't say you will prove to others how far a man will go. Don't even say it verbally, keep that shit to yourself and stop releasing dopamine by talking about it, neurobiologically your fuxking yourself over by talking about goals so stop. Keep it in.
I am curious how anybody can accept that evil black mass with red eyes inside me when even I am scared of this shit and its hard for me to accept this part of me
I dont belive that women would like being jus a ,,sprinkles on a tea" to man because they want feeling special and fear being lonely and they would want to be your ,,one" to ensure that they will have you forever
I struggle with thought of getting into a relationship with someone. I desperately want that connection and everything that comes with it, but I can't stop worrying. Whether it be the worry that the person might be crazy and i miss the redflags because I latch on to the attention and the feelings, and then they ruin my life one way or another (I had a friend who broke up with his toxic girlfriend, and she threatend to accuse him of assaulting and sexually abusing her) Or I simply end up not as happy as I thought i would be in a relationship, and end up dragging them down with me. The last thing I'd want to do is get into a relationship with someone who truly loves and cares for me, only for me to not be able to reciprocate properly because of my depression.
Bro I feel the same way, it is like I want that connection with another person, but at the same time it is scary because I think I might miss some huge red flags as you said and it'll end up with my life ruined by it, I know it sounds kinda exaggerated, but that is a persistent fear I have, and even if I meet someone who is a good person, I will most likely push them away because I feel like I won't be able to reciprocate their love and affection in the same way, which may lead them to feel unloved and unhappy about the relationship, and I rather have those feelings for myself than to cause them on someone else, and then, the cycle repeats itself, I meet someone, I get scared because they might be a crazy person, so I try not to feel anything for them, but if I do, and they are a good person, they will get pushed away out of my fear of hurting them, and I know it'll lead eventually to Isolate myself from love and relationships but I can't help it, the fear wins over my want to have a relationship or connection with someone else, I guess I'm just afraid of love and getting hurt or to hurt others, but to play "safe" throughout all of our life will only lead to an unfulfilling and boring life, filled with regrets of what you could've experienced, and I also don't want that, so I'm kinda stuck between wanting to live my life without any fears or worries about this, at least not in an excessive way, and at the same time, not wanting to hurt anyone and being scared of getting hurt in a devastating way, which leads me to get isolated, I guess I should keep working on my trust issues. I don't know if anyone will relate to someone of what I've said, but I just wanted to write a little bit about it (I guess not a little bit, maybe a bit too much, sorry for the long text) so yeah, this video makes sense to me and I relate to the majority of it, honestly I expected it, so I'm not surprised, but it is nice to see more of this kind of content and to help people to understand their fears and even themselves better :)
I'm just somebody who finds alone time/isolation far more peaceful, and honestly, I've never had the desire to form relationships, I've always rejected women who asked me out.
@@Psych2go as for my reason why, I've never felt the need to form connections, hanging out is fine, but I get bored being around people if I'm around them for too long.
I believe the sentiment still holds true because, even if you've loved and lost, you're left with something invaluable, beautiful memories. This is a unique aspect that those who've never experienced love might not have. They could be left with lingering questions and regrets about what might have been if they had taken the chance.
I'm afraid of falling in love because I've never being loved. I no longer even try anymore, the last time I tried I was the best version of myself, I was even a little proud of what I've had become, and yet, I wasn't enough, that was like a year and a half ago, and still haunts me that "I will never be enough" thought
Nature is that which selects (the top males, females almost always can get at least some affection). So, just be hot, tall, young, cut male. Oh wait, that's only the top 10% and most can't do much to change it. Men who are aware of this know if they aren't hot and attract a girl it's about his money and provision (but that's not love). It all boils down to what spread DNA, it's not egalitarian or intelligent design. But, there are pay for services available in some places.
@@anderstermansen130 Thanks (?), I mean, it's kinda sad to give up on what I've always wanted, but I'm 38 now, It just won't happen. But yea, giving up and look for something else that might make you happy kinda a big step.
Sometimes it finds you. My stepfather had given up before I met him and then he fell in love at 45 with my mother, they're both happier than they've ever been and they'd both given up on love from old wounds. Few things are impossible. But make sure you're working on self-improvement for your own sake, trying to build yourself for another person makes it hit a thousand times harder if there's no reciprocation/things fall apart. Best of luck man.
In this day in age, it’s hard for me fall in love. I’m kinda afraid because I’ve been turned down by a lot girls in the past and they don’t want to see the real me. I feel that the pattern is going to repeat every time when I like someone new. I hope I can overcome that fear someday and find someone who will know me truly.
Yes but imagine how inconvenient it would be if all those had reciprocated the feelings when you meet the someone you're really meant to be with...? I would say it's good those others are out the way when that person comes along.
I had a crush on one of my best friends and it was a train wreck. I very attached so it hurt so bad and it still does a little bit. Sadly I lost that close friendship with her. I see her everyday but it hurts to look. I distanced myself for a while and it definitely helped with feelings. We talk again but not like before. I miss that awsome friendship. I’m scared of love now cause I don’t want to loose that connection like I’ve done literally every time. It’s gonna be really hard, so I just try to be kind to my friends now and treat them lovingly the way they deserve. That’s what friends are for right?
I know how you feel, my friend told me that they liked me one day but I don’t have the same feelings so after that we distanced ourselves from each other because it was too awkward, I will say though that it is possible to fix these relationships if you both want to be friends still, me and the girl that said she liked me have become close friends again after a few months but it doesn’t always work out. I wish you luck
OMG!!! My childhood was exactly as described in this video! 😫🥺Depressed and anxious mother and an emotionally distant relationship with dad (due to his drug addiction) And I can relate to all these signs as I navigate this new relationship I'm in. 🤯
I have never been in a relationship, so its hard for me to determine if I am afraid of falling in love. I have had a few crushes and most of the time I was let down gently without a huge heartbreak, but I think that has still hurt me. Specifically , there is a guy in my friend group that I liked, and about a year and a half ago he figured out that I liked him and told me he didn't reciprocate. He was very nice about it and we were able to work it out and stay friends, but it really sucks. I still like him, but have made a choice to try and ignore those feelings so they don't get in the way of our friendship. It's hard though because we are at the age where we talk about what we want out of life like how many kids we would want or where we would want to live, etc. He was talking with a small group of us and said he wants more daughters than sons so he could walk them down the aisle and that made my heart absolutely melt, but it broke me too. It made me so much more attracted to him, but I know he won't ever like me the same way.
Communicate feelings and intentions to important people about important things. Don't rush love, build a strong and trusting relationship. And be level headed. You want to find love, not someone you see idealised through rose-tinted glasses. However, I think it's good to not be love-averse. Forming a beautiful relationship doesn't have to come with a high cost. Don't avoid being in the presence of people you are attracted to. Love, care, connect, be inspired. Loss of a loved one whether because it didn't make sense for them to stay, or because you happened to find out so many things which were deal-breakers, doesn't rid the fact that you were able to have beautiful interactions and was positively influenced by their actions in the past. Just be aware that it may not last, for whatever reason, and let go of things which you don't have a choice but to let go. A relationship not developing in the way you hope or imagine doesn't rid the relationship you've built until now. Work on maintaining healthy and positive connections. More positive means more worth your effort to maintain relations. Some relationships are not worth as much time and effort, I do hope this doesn't become apparent after finding out someone was lying about themselves and their intentions, but this is why building trust and understanding is so important. For feeling assured and trusting of the relationship, but also to just feel closer and more connected too.
I grew up with a strong pair of parents who gave me a good template to look for in a romantic relationship. I've also seen what love does to a lot of people. It makes em blind. They make mistakes, and it leaves them as a shell of themselves when it all goes wrong. Some don't ever recover. Forget romance, I've lost people who were very dear to me, and it damn near crippled me. I know I'm gonna have to go through that again with my family and best friends... I still hope I might one day find a woman I can love, but I gotta say... that risk factor is pretty damning.
As someone who is Aromantic and Asexual I'm always afraid that maye I do experience these forms of attraction but don't realize it. I came to these videos regarding romance second guessing myself and doubting my own feelings because of these things that everyone else experience. I found that I don't relate to anything, if anything I'm less worried of falling in love with someone than I am of someone falling for me since I won't see them as they see me. I like romance especially in fiction and sometimes am prone to fantacising about it myself, but when it comes to actually wanting it irl I just don't see it. I'm always open to change, if anything changes in the future then I'm ok with that but I don't really mind if it doesn't either. I just don't want to hurt anyones feelings, I don't want to lose a friend, I don't hate anyone, I just want them to be happy because I become happy when I see others happy. I just know I will most likely never be able to recicropate those feelings to another person.
You not aromantic- you are suppresing your needs and emotions because of fear of not fulfilling them- my friend and I have same problem , but I am slowly recovering
@@altaris6593 I'm glad that you and your friend are doing better, but please don't assume it's the same problem for everybody. I can see that you've typed it with good intentions, but ultimately it's not helpful to invalidate other people's experiences; even if you think they're mistaken about their own experiences (and even if they actually are mistaken about their own experiences), invalidating it helps to nobody, and honestly comes across as a bit a-phobic.
Respectfully, I am aromantic I understand your pov I know you probably experienced something similar but I am not afraid of falling in love. I am not suppressing my needs either, if anything I am acknowledging them because I am stating that I don't have the same needs as everyone else. My only fear that I stated was that I don't want anyone to fall for me because I am not capable of sharing those feelings, aromantic means to experience little to no romantic attraction, it doesn't mean I am afraid of commitment or romance itself I just don't experience the same feelings as you or your friend.
There's 2 things that make me afraid of falling in love and those are 1. I can't really talk to strangers idk I used to do it just fine as a kid but now i only say a word to answer a question and in public spaces not even a sound comes out of my mouth 2. I don't know what will happen in the future and how they'll treat me and i don't want it to be bad
this video couldnt come in a better time, im in fact, affraid of love after my break up, i took so much of me that i dont even know who i am now, i feel like a broken toy that was discarded away...
I was playing basketball with a girl I really liked. Had a nice conversation after and she was saying she's gonna go home to bake some cookies and even mentioned that her parents weren't coming home until later that day. I wanted to offer my help and spend more time with her but I got scared and went home. I try not to hate myself for being so weak... These days I feel like the single life suits me better because when I finally got the courage to tell her how I feel, she told me she's seeing somebody and it just broke me. I spend way to much time thinking about what I'll say to her that I forgot to actually speak to her and we slowly drifted apart. So now instead of blaming my trauma I'm starting to accept that it is what it is, it's not my fault for what happened to me when I was young and I can live with that.
Detachment is so real for me, like if i could marry my phone, we'd still be in the honeymoon phase 💀 After all, why would i bother trying to get to know people who might only have 1 thing in common with, much less talk to them period, when spotify and youtube and stuff are right there when you want them? Idk what it is, but i can barely hold a conversation irl, and it gets worse when it comes to texting/calling, like i feel my chest tighten up when i think about texting or calling people. Maybe i just don't want the awkwardness to transfer online or smth? idk Also, as someone with an emotionally distant workaholic dad with a negative view of life, i think i'm guilty of fault-finding too since it gives me all the more reason not to talk to people. I used to be positive and happy when i was little, but now it seems like i can never win, so why bother?
Timestamps 1). Actions ≠ intentions 1:45 2). Overly critical 2:48 3). Detached 3:36 4). Second-guessing 4:16 5). Secretive 4:50 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Your channel has always helped me with my mental health, and as a man, I don't have a lot of help with that. I have started a relationship with someone, and I feel your channel is partly responsible for this, even though we live in different countries (I in Canada BC and her in Louisiana USA) I have never been happier. I guess I just wanted to thank you. I was afraid of love being open with someone else again was terrifying, but you helped me heal, and now I have to willingness to love again and will do everything in my power to make this work.
I rather remain isolated from other people than to try to find love. I'm not interested in a relationship at all. Its a big waste of time and I hate talking to people. I'd rather not loved at all than to love and lose.
I relate to these signs but only to an extent. Nothing wrong happened in my childhood, from what I remember, it was mainly just what I saw or heard happen that I grew to fear. It also doesn't help that, outside of my family, I've lost so many people because of putting distance because of my own self-doubt. That's what made it all fall down hill, my self-doubt. As I watched this video, that's the trend I started seeing: I fear love because of self-doubt. It also doesn't help that for some reason I disagree with the phrase "It's better to have loved than lost than never have loved at all" because I feel that it's better to never have fallen for anyone and just remained focused on your friends, your family, and yourself. I'm so afraid of everything love brings and there's always that voice in the back of my head: What if I'm wrong? I hate it since I feel like I may have unintentionally hurt or pushed away someone that I love because I was so afraid they didn't feel the same. I was so doubtful. Don't they deserve someone better? Now I'm lost since I've realized how much I pushed away that person instead of what I THOUGHT was THEM pushing ME away. Turns out it probably was always ME pushing THEM away and them responding accordingly. I have to make it right, I know, but where do I even begin? I've always been too focused on: "What if they don't feel that way about me?" That I never even thought to consider "What if they DO feel that way about me?" Where do I even begin on restoring this broken track?
For me though, I can't really distinguish love from being friends or romantically. It's as if like I'm very dense on understanding romantic love. Maybe teasing played a role because a lot of people mess around with me by "shipping" me to a random girl or a dude (I'm a guy, and Bi). Some do mess around with me (mostly guys) by actually making a "romantic" move, which in turn, made me more confused because they're sending mixed signals. So if people do admit the they're into me romantically, I just automatically shrug it off because my first thought is like: "Are they teasing me again?" Soo yeah... I've never been into a relationship for this reason: "If I misinterpreted they're sign of friendship as a romantic approach, it would be really awkward for both of us and I don't want our friendship to go downhill because I misinterpreted they're sign of friendship as a romantic sign."
i just want to let you know that you're not alone! a lot of people have issues distinguishing platonic & romantic attraction & behavior. there's not always a solid line dividing them. but don't be afraid of falling for a friend. if they reciprocate, that's big! if they don't, it hurts, but with a little luck, they'll still like you enough to stay friends with, and that's at least something. however, don't let other people push you into relationships with their "shipping." those people are looking for whatever personal satisfaction, and they don't really know or care about what qualities you need in a partner.
As an autistic person, yep. I've always been confused at how flirting's supposed to work and just write stuff off as "Oh, they're just complimenting/asking me stuff." I don't even get what the difference between a crush and love is, like aren't crushes supposed to be you falling in love with someone??
It's not that I'm afraid to fall in love with someone, it's the fear where you feel like something might break you like Loving too much and overthinking about everything when you're trying to enjoy the relationship, If it's the person I would truly love and the person feel the same thing for me then I would appreciate her and wouldn't hurt to be myself also wouldn't have to fear telling her why I feel so spaced out. It's hard for me to say "What does life really have to offer me after of all the things I been through and not have the interest to like someone". if the person is genuine, strong and smart then I would love her for who she is
I may be wrong on this but, another reason for fearing of falling in love may be because of heartbreak at a young age. I have been through two relationships, and both went horribly wrong when I was younger and through my experiences dealing with heartbreak, depression, etc at a young age seemed to make me fear falling in love. I don't know if there is any professional research about this or if there is another reason I might have the fear of falling in love. i kinda just wanted to share
Nahh this is very much common under younger (men), just love yourself and spend time with the boys and make a lot of money (the best revenge on a delusional female fr).
The scars from past relationships can definitely influence our approach to new ones, but taking the lessons learned from past experiences and applying them to foster personal development can pave the way for healthier relationships in the future.
I’m so fucked up I can’t love , trust issues Play a big part always being there for somebody when they need you but when you need them the love isn’t reciprocated back. That’s why I don’t have friends. They’re the biggest snakes.
I have litterally taught myself to be terrorfied of love, because i damn well know i ruin everything i come nearby. Love is something all humans need, but not something all humans want.
I think I scared to falling in love because I'm not confident enough for that kinda of relationship. On this list it's seems some of it were related, but yeah if I got a fortune , why not . For now I'm just be single. So right now I'm comfortable on that way . I appreciate this , psych2go 😁❤️
I'm not as afraid of love as I am of friendships. I know that my mind will often create dangers where there are none. But after having been in an abundance of unhealthy friendships and having a "friend" threaten to blackmail you and then revoke their statement, I understand why I react the way I do. I have friends who I care about and who I know fully well will jump at a sign to defend me. Despite that, whenever I hear a change in tone or they snap at me because of something else that someone did, I retreat from them. That's when I subconsciously tell myself that the people closest to you are the quickest to turn on you. It scares me. I've taught myself to acknowledge the bad and to remember that good things can still exist. I understand that people have bad days and will react in aggressive ways. And that's okay as long as they apologize and know what they are apologizing for. I have a lot of friends but I always feel like I'm alone. I'll continue to teach myself to develop a positive mindset. For those of you who are struggling with friendships, know that things happen and though we can't dictate how events play out, we can decide how we choose to react. You can pull yourself out of cynicism. It's easier said than done, but it isn't impossible.
I'm in the middle of a difficult process of healing. I wasn't diagnosed as an autist until my late 30s, grew up with a mother who is all about the A4 format and an emotional distant father. Some of the factors playing in here are mother's take on my lack of ability to read a room. She preached I should assume the other person was just polite if they said they enjoyed my company. Down to scolding me when I received letters because I needed to leave them be. In social settings, if I felt uncomfortable and withdrew mother told me off for my ungrateful attitude. If I was tolerated I needed to suck up any imaginary offences and smile. Not to mention always keep in mind that they had struggles which..... Now at the age of 48 I still struggle with believing you want me around, not just tolerating my present. If you slept badly last night you are justified in lashing out at me. If you cancel on me last minute I am not allowed to feel disappointment.
it's difficult to admit and I had guessed that I was afraid. To think that I know I am afraid to fall in love yet crave the feeling of having an important person and being important to them is not fun.
You are describing me right now. I once had a crush on someone in grade 9 but the person told me that we're too young to be dating and that we should wait till the right time. A bit hurtful but I respected his decision, but then we grew apart and stopped talking(haven't seen him since). Not that I'm scared of falling in love because I really yearn for someone to genuinely love me and I'll do the same but the thing is once you meet someone and you get this weird vibe from them(like you already see that you and this person will not work out), you just distance yourself from them.
I'm not afraid of it. I just know it won't happen. I've always let myself down by allowing myself to be hurt and betrayed by others. Why risk it again for something that is clearly out of reach? I was cursed the moment I was born
Great video! I learned a lot about myself. I think a great follow up video to this is to how to get over your fear of falling in love. I'm pretty sure a lot of us would greatly appreciate that. :) Thank you for the great video either way!
I have this but its more of a fear of accidentally loving someone unconditionally. Fear of falling in love in general is easier to explain but it's less relatable for me
Thank you for this video- I think I understand how I feel about someone a little better. It has always been hard for me to communicate feelings, but this has helped me see that what I am doing is getting me no where and I should take the risk.
I want to keep distance in my case , as a survivor of narcissist abuse, it's hard to believe if something is genuine or not . I rather friendship instead, it's more valuable and free to me. Besides , with my current disabilities, it's already hard enough to express and comunicate.
I wonder if I have or had philophobia. I remember feeling absolute terror when I was genuinely interested in a woman, and fighting through those negative emotions throughout the relationship, which didn’t work out. It’s usually a scary experience for me. I don’t know, I try not to be pessimistic, but I can’t think of a reason to get out there beyond the usual platitudes like in the video (no offense).
I have a fear of falling in love with someone who would not share the same love with me. Onesided love is the most agonizing thing ever. I always try to list down the flows of the girl who I have a crush on. I think that is the best way to stay away from further fueling the crush and eventually scumbing in to unrequited love. It has saved me from a world of pain. I believe Philophobia is a defense mechanism developed by the mind to save you from pain of onesided love.
My god. What an explaination. I am exactly going through this. To explain my situation, I am afraid of falling in love because I dont believe anyone can love me more than my mother. They either are oppurtunistic or pretending. I know its wrong but cant help it
Mandy, I'll try to love again, but I know: that first rejection, that zealous ghosting, that insult against what love stands for... I wish I had been spared knowing just what it feels like to be bleeding from the heart... God's counting on someday, I wake up and see that not every girl deserves me, till then when concentrating on the ministry of the Lord, I'm off the romance market 🌟
I find this video very relatable, I'm actually afraid, because I got hurt before, this video helped me to understand me better. Even though I never saw it that way, that it's better to have loved the lost love at least, instead of never have had it but be safe, I think that makes sense to me, so better being with someone, instead of never.
So, here’s the thing, I’m not exactly afraid of falling in love in itself, it’s more that in social and personal situations, I have a certain role or script for those situations. When people are genuinely into me (as far and few in-between as those occurrences are) or vice versa, I don’t know how to work around that script to be genuine, which then brings up the point that it’s not really me they’re into, it’s the act they like.
The idea of being in a relationship hits so different to me. I love imagining myself being in a relationship which felt so freaking unreal like reading a book character's love life. But in reality I'm not feeling I'm into being in a relationship. I watched your "why higly intelligent people struggle with love" video and that felt so much like me. And I wanna add another reason for it. I'm afraid of being in a relationship. Because of the relationships that I saw, the relationship that my parents shared etc. And I'm freaking out when think of being in a relationship because I feel like it's gonna turn bad whatever you do or whoever you are in relationship with. And I don't wanna do any stupid thing which actually means falling in love to me.
Good, solid Platonic FRIENDSHIP is so underrated in this day and age that it’s ridiculous. All this “falling in love” stuff does is tangle and wreck the hearts & minds of both sexes. Besides, too often we all are looking for the “Romeo & Juliet” fantasy, which is not sustainable. By contrast, friendship, when genuine, can last decades as there is no “obligation” in the big picture to keep up a facade. In short, no pressure, as many friends do not live together and relish the time they do spend in meaningful ways.
All i know about love is that ive been burned by it enough times to understand that its not worth trusting. Remember that question, "Isn't it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?"; My honest answer: No.
If your lover is a female, "she's not yours it's just your turn". And, if you aren't a giga hot top 10 guy, all the love you're getting is fake anyway.
@bobbruce4135 "She's not yours, it's just your turn", "Non-chad"??? Listen, bud, you clearly seem to have some kind of agenda you wanna push, and I would advise you to practice more wisdom in doing so. Frankly, I'm feeling kinda ticked off that you wanna act like you understand my circumstances better than I do and then try to pass off passive aggressive judgment towards my Ex's in the form of "advice"; For starters, I don't even KNOW you, and YOU DO NOT know the circumstances behind MY break ups. I appreciate that you took the time to put in your two cents, but here's the thing, coming from someone as ignorant of the context regarding my personal past as you, I find your advice to be worthless and unhelpful, and your perspective to be very unhealthy. Thanks, but no thanks, pal.
@@rampagephoenix1735 My response was not aimed at you as I know nothing of your situation. I'm sorry if it appeared like it was. If you re-read my comments you'll notice they are generic and apply to every male including me (I wish what I was saying wasn't true). We were all born to parents who likely didn't know and couldn't teach us what we now know about evolutionary psychology and female nature. Channels this this one and the MSM will never delve into these topics despite the plethora of data. An Ear For Men (psychologist Paul Elam) was one of the first to address these points. Channels like Wheat Waffles, Better Bachelor and Coach Greg Adams give additional perspective that none of us like to hear.
Even before playing the video I was at an emphatic YES. But then the prospect of falling in love would scare me since I spent 10+ years in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship that drained me of myself, letting those walls down now would be incredibly difficult as a result.
I've had my heart broken and feelings betrayed in September by the woman I thought I would marry. The first time in my life that I was that certain about something/someone. I've had no choice but to accept this and I'm still not quite over it. I've recently begun dating again, but it's difficult to really get into it when you're constantly reminded of the last experience and how things went down. It's gotten so far as me realising that I'm catching feelings for this new person, and despite that I still feel like I'm doing this person a disservice by still thinking about my ex, and by being afraid of allowing myself to open up and be vulnerable again.
I have philophobia too. As an introvert, I am very comfortable being alone. Yes, I yearn for affection but when someone started to become affectionate towards me and I feel that I'm starting to get attached, it overwhelms me so much that detaching feels safer than allowing myself to be vulnerable. Solitude feels so good because it's something I am familiar with and falling in love seems like a very terrifying idea. Too terrified to get hurt, terrified to lose my identity, terrified to lose myself in the process. I'm not actively looking for love but am not closing my doors for somebody that will make me feel that love is greater than my fears. But for now, I'm still enjoying my solitude and am completely okay with it.
I'm terrified of falling for anyone again... I'm sick of the pain and hurt. I can't take it anymore, so I decided instead to avoid ever being with anyone again. And if I ever do care for someone that way, I will just avoid and ignore it. Better than being hurt...
Of all the failed relationships I’ve had and how much they hurt and broke me I was, in time ready to open up after… until I lost my dog. Never felt pain like it. Totally avoidant of any connection since. People lie and let you down and are malicious. That dog was genuine, loyal, everything everybody needs.
I don't think I will ever find anyone. The first one 20 years ago was so sexually abusive that I could have taken him to court, but I was too afraid to. This year, I thought I had found true love, but it was someone who would lie, manipulate, and gossip. That has my parents not believing in me even more, and I have to live with them because of having Asperger's. I loved some of the times and feelings that I got this year, but I honestly feel that I can't ever have them again.
We're different and only love those who makes you happy but never enough to say I love you! Might as well love yourself cause this is how you become stronger......
Love scares tf out of me, even surface level non romantic love. Over a few years I’m just used to pain & love just rips me apart & breaks me down. I’m much more comfortable brighting up anybody’s day any day every day & moving forward than making relationships. Honestly I could use help on analyzing this & taking one step forward the right direction.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 ESV Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.
I can identify with these. I found out my attachment style is avoidant. I do put up walls because of trust issues, sure. My thing is this, if one wants to be with me, prove that it will be worth my energy to do so and be honest about it. If my soul doesn't feel the other person is honest, then why continue. Romance is something I've lost faith in because it doesn't really last. For me, it is about stability and strong foundations. Those things can not be rushed.
3:48 Here's my dilemma in this scenario. For one, I'm a problem solver through and through. Before I think of consoling them, I'm thinking of how to fix it, which comes with two negative potentials. One is that there may not be a way to fix it. And two, they' weren't asking me to solve the problem to begin with. Another nail in the coffin is I hate empty platitudes. I hate receiving them, and because of that hate, I'll never give them.
💙💙We would have a healthier conception of love if we understood that love, like parenting or friendship, is a feeling that expresses itself in action. What we really feel is reflected in what we do. The poet’s song is dazzling and the passion powerful, but the deepest beauty of love is how it changes lives.
I love these psych2go videos. I might be an old man with a host of issues that usually only surface after a bottle of Jack Daniel's but I'll be damned if they don't help with introspection. I'm not a good man, but I've got a lot of life experience and I'm self aware and vulnerable enough to tell just about anyone my faults if it can give them a better life. Despite being a possibly terrible person I only hope my life can be used to improve the life of others. At least one person.
you always fall in love when you are not looking for love, you are just looking for peace and then in a world of chaos and violence you find peace, something that feels more like home, then actually home :)
Im so afraid of love that when any opportunity presents itself i shy away with nothing to say or something that will get me out of conversations sooner, thank you, appreciate it or have a good day. Im scared of allowing someone in my life or being apart of theirs
Oh GOD this explains so much. My parents are great but I lived with grandparents who do physically harm each other in the past... plus our family is pretty traditional, marriage kinda means forever... :)
This video hit the nail right on the head for me. Even the childhood described was exactly mine. My parents always did their best to show me they loved me, but still I felt like I wasn't good enough. Through my life men always saw me as the inbetween or mistress, which resonated with my inner feelings. Now I have a stable relationship and I see the patterns of overly critical (the birthday where he does 90% but I get upset about the remaining 10%) and even more so the overthinking and anxiousness that he is just saying all these things. How do I know that this is my fear and overthinking vs my intuition telling me something is off????
I am afraid that they might fall in love with me. Also why your voice is healing me. I don't feel pleasure instead it is warm and comfort. Please teach me How to talk like you.
Before i watched the video: i can tell you I’m definitely scared of love had a few rough relationships with family and romantic wise. My mom was always physically and mentally abusive, my father just decided he didn’t want to be apart of my life anymore at 14, had a 6 year relationship where she got pregnant by another guy and tried to blame me for her cheating and lying, and multiple relationships where i was done wrong for literally being too nice. Now 22 and no therapy for any of my unsolved traumas and that led to me pushing away new experiences and meeting new people. It’s terrible feeling this way😖. And it’s not like it’s controllable. One minute you’re all in love and everything is going well. Then boom you realize everything is going on well and think that it’s only going well because you’re being set up. You lose trust in people and question your self worth.
Being an INFP male that spent time with his parents only after I was 3 years old, immigrated to another country at 4, being an anxious introvert with no special attribute, not being particularly beautiful, and not having the money to afford a house... I guess all these are the reason why I've always been single.
You would never believe me if I told that falling in love and the feelings of continuously repeating that over and over again as the years pass by I felt. But having to let go is unbearable to the core. And experiencing it all over again but it's not me this time it's my friend she's going through the motions as I type this here. OMG trying to give support but at the same time being invisible to her being right in front of her. I can feel her heart breaking 6:03
I'm Aro/Ace, and while I've had a few low-grade "crushes" ["squishes," more like], I've rarely been able to actually "love" anyone. Maybe a form of "friend-want" or almost "aethetic-pretty", but never neither reach that level of "want in bed" nor "want in life/household". FML
Same, the only times I ever had any "crushes" were really just because I either thought I had to or because I confused wanting to be friends with someone with wanting to be with them.
We also made videos about bad habits few days ago too, did you get a chance to watch them?
Yes! Thanks phsych2go :)
Yes!
Of course!
Deeper err feely o ours pitys blind blursed blackbox baka uncanny valley whrrrs sways felled n failed dat chances darlings theys fiend zone oot meh furs theys reason idfk efforts exhaustive goners rates keeping paces choatic atmosphere truely territory terrify tissues muscle memory whrrrs o wot attachments o theys meanys wits theys sways o oot measures meh err dat dablage daze n confusion so zelf punch rounds hop itty stupor effective so hopeless romantic epic proportions oot err o theys leagues so ood b fores theys knows itty iffy theys cares bouts us n alls kismitt err theys enjoyment instantaneously gratification sum sort o err n uncharted whrrrs ago so unfamiliar ood sensation session o maido looky floop d fool o honesty idfk err n learning bouts kinda careless n clueless cuteness nya sojourneys
yep, and thanks for all the things you do!!
It's hard to fall in love when you are extremely anxious to think that the person who claims that they love you is just putting up a front when they are actually lying to you.
That part
That hits hard for me. My ex told me she loved me and cared about my feelings but it felt she only ever did when it effected her feelings. We don't talk anymore and it really hurts because I wasn't ready to say goodbye in such a quiet way.
@@johnins0mnia584 You know what Buddy?? There's no 'Ex' in true love. It's your 'Girl' , 'Fiancèe' or your 'Forever Love' there's no honest woman in this world if you want an 'Ex'. Think again, which one made the mistake...
Happened to me in high school. I have stopped trying to date after it happened 2 more times.
I hate being ugly.
That was my boyfriend for a short while. I didn’t notice but he admitted to me after a few short months of dating that he wasn’t allowing himself to trust me because he suspected that I was either lying about the way that I felt and/or was gonna end up using him like other people in his life had…He told me then that he now was gonna make the decision to trust me because “I had many chances to do so”… It broke my heart a little to see more how much his life sucked, but I was happy that he trusted me enough to tell me how he had been feeling
I'm not afraid of love.
I'm afraid of loving the wrong kind of person.
Love blinds us, makes us accept things a logical mind wouldn't.
& there are plenty of people out there who will gladly take advantage of that.
You can lose a lot more than just a partner if you fall for the wrong person.
sucks to be weak LOL😂
Looks like someone hasn't experience it before@@firerams_and_arisinglion
@@firerams_and_arisinglionsucks to not be self aware
Exactly. You can lose yourself in the process
@@augustnickles i know it must suck to be you LOL😂😂
I don’t think I’m afraid of falling in love; I don’t even recognize it when I see it, because I’ve never seen it really happen in my life.
I completely second this. It’s difficult to recognize especially if “love” that you see isn’t healthy; definitely should be a pinned comment!
Same here.
For me: I'm not terrified of love. I'm more of terrified of being hurt by the one I love. As a result, few of the signs are relatable. I never know when I'll find someone.
That's if my stupid fear can stop being that way.... Not as a first step but more of an interference.
Couldn't agree more. I dated someone who kind of traumatised me, so much so that I was afraid to go in another relationship again.
I have given it another chance, but this fear still exists :(
This reminds me about a saying I heard some time ago: Love is giving another person the power to destroy you while at the same time trusting they will not use that power.
@@KuruGDIand for me, doing that is one of the dumbest things a person can do.
@@PRGME7 Would a person, who really loves you, hurt you? You don't give every person the key to your heart right when they come through your door. It's a slow process where you check if the person can be trusted. If you are confident enough, you can trust them more and more.
Or would you always go out with a knife behind your back and take the first chance to stab your partner in the back at the first possible opportunity or when you see that they are at their most vulnerable point?
@
1: I’m seeing lots of assumptions about my character that I hope to clear up.
2: a person who truly loves you would not hurt you. But,
3: finding somebody like that has a lot of risks. There are more ways for a relationship to go bad than ways for it to succeed . I don’t often allow people to have a “key to my heart”. But,
4: it doesn’t mean I’m a Machiavellian or narcissist. I don’t stab people in the back. My concern is that I will be in the crosshairs of a backstabber.
That’s why I consider giving somebody the power to destroy you a terrible idea in general. Because if you give that power to somebody with malicious intentions they will do exactly what you accused me of.
Hope this clears everything up.
I've never really let myself fall in love. I always wanted to do what adults around me seemed to be saying: prepare for your future. So I never made time to be social: it seemed natural for an introvert like me, so I wasn't too worried at the time. But I did develop big feelings for someone, just for them to use me as their emotional safety net. And that future I prepared for never came: I missed out on relationships for nothing.
I'm not bitter anymore, but love for me at this point in my adult life feels like a fiction, something that I can dream about but never really experience. Almost 30 and never been in a relationship, never really loved. I wish, but I do not will.
Hopefully I meet someone that makes the risk seem worth it.
Hadn't you missed out on relationships, you could have been played the same or worse, with experience and confidence REGARDLESS.
That's what this channel and comments don't understand.
Being the best version of yourself will never, EVER assure you attract a partner who is truthful and who likes you just as much as you like them.
It's a lie.
It's not too late. You can think of it as a new beginning. Even if you're not actively looking for a date its good to think about what you want for a partner and what you're not willing to tolerate, and also practice open communication with friends and family. Good platonic relationships can help a lot with when you want to form a romantic one with someone you like ❤️🥰
@@fistofram5526
Do you think someone without being the best still gets love? Even at the expense of another person? Also, better be the best for yourself than your non existent partner
I've usually been afraid to admit my feelings for someone I like, out of fear that those feelings won't be reciprocated. But I also suffered from a low confidence issue back then and am slowly building it back up. Hopefully my confidence boost can help me find the right partner!
Not worth it
This is exactly how I feel I discovered that this year hopefully you get Gain enough confidence you got this ❤ stay safe and stay awesome 😊❤
@@stickyfingers8653 true just stay single man. not worth it at all
Excited for you to find someone who sees how amazing you are. 👊😊
Dont get your hopes up pal. Remain at this low level of confidence, were we all belong.
I’m very afraid of love. Can’t stand the thought of any more hurt or disappointment
Same
Me too
1:45 Actions/Intentions
2:48 Overly Critical
3:36 Detached
4:16 Second Guessing
4:50 Secretive
❤❤❤❤❤THANK YOU 💕 AMANDA S.,& PETER PANCAKES 🐾🐕🐾🐕😇🎼🎧🎶🎧🔥😎✨🥀✨🥀✨🥀🎼 FOR THE VIDEOS ON LOVE❤12/7/2023
MOST WOMEN I HAVE DATED SEEM VERY CRITICAL & INSECURE, BUT ARE ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL SEXY BEAUTIFUL LIPSTICK 💄💄 LESBIAN WOMEN, I DON'T FEAR CLOSENESS.....AT ALL.....12/7/2023❤❤❤❤
I DON'T DOUBT OR FEAR WHO I LOVE❤❤❤
@@internationalentertainment6906some weirdo here
@@internationalentertainment6906 😂
@@internationalentertainment6906 What's wrong with you
I have not been someones first choice as a romantic partner in over 10 years. I am always a plan B, and they always cheat / leave for someone else even when it gets going.
Its not worth it anymore. Spending time and money with my friends and family with 0 romantic distractions for years is the best decision ive made.
1. Philophobia - an excessive fear of falling in love
2. Actions ≠ intentions
3. Overly critical
4. Second guessing
5. Secretive
Philophobia is one of those things that gets you confused between being gamophobic, aromantic, or asexual. And I'd know because I'm still confused on which one is actually causing the issue. And let it be warned: It's not something you can easily suppress with low self-esteem or self-confidence. It hits you back like a semi-truck.
Never expected I would get something like this. I used to think that relationships and life are easy, you just find the one you like and a job and boom, life complete, no problems. Nothing ugly would happen. I never expected to be abused at such a level that intimate situations would make me feel like some beaten abandoned dog when it gets to an animal shelter and is afraid of what humans might do to it. I pray to God that people who suffer from this will get over such an experience or whatever makes them uncomfortable.
One of the most eye-opening things I ever read was a text from a friend that said to me, "Your level of self-loathing is astounding."
It's difficult for me to even imagine someone actually loving ALL of me, not just as a friend. Likewise, I abhor the idea of using someone for my own benefit, so I feel like I need to fully self-improve before I can allow myself to even begin the pursuit. Once that happens, where's the line between expectations and reality?
I don't want much. Someone with shared core values, who shares similar interests, and shared fascination in what the other has to say.
Show me a woman I can live for, and I'll show you how far a man will go to make a life worth living.
Prove to others that you can take it that far by loving and respecting yourself.
honestly just self improve your way to success. having a partner won't make that journey any easier
From this text alone it sounds like you need someone to be your best, throw it away. I started attracting women like crazy when I started thinking I'll be alone FOREVER and I was alright with it imagine all other humans are dead, what would you do with your time???. It's called raizon detre and some people don't ever find it, some put the results on others reactions. Don't ask for a women to live for because you will never get that, always be ready to be abandoned and always be alright if it happens. This level of detachment will attract women and the right ones at that. Women don't want to be the reason for your being, they want to be the sprinkles on the ice cream. Also quick tip it's a hard practice but always have no expectations until you get to the point with a girl where you have obligations. Otherwise you look like an objective setter and women won't follow your lead until you prove your a good leader(could tske months). Suggested books you should read are "the art of seduction" by robert greene and "meditations" by Marcus Aurelius. Once you get these mindsets your gold. Don't say you will prove to others how far a man will go. Don't even say it verbally, keep that shit to yourself and stop releasing dopamine by talking about it, neurobiologically your fuxking yourself over by talking about goals so stop. Keep it in.
I am curious how anybody can accept that evil black mass with red eyes inside me when even I am scared of this shit and its hard for me to accept this part of me
I dont belive that women would like being jus a ,,sprinkles on a tea" to man because they want feeling special and fear being lonely and they would want to be your ,,one" to ensure that they will have you forever
I struggle with thought of getting into a relationship with someone. I desperately want that connection and everything that comes with it, but I can't stop worrying.
Whether it be the worry that the person might be crazy and i miss the redflags because I latch on to the attention and the feelings, and then they ruin my life one way or another (I had a friend who broke up with his toxic girlfriend, and she threatend to accuse him of assaulting and sexually abusing her)
Or I simply end up not as happy as I thought i would be in a relationship, and end up dragging them down with me. The last thing I'd want to do is get into a relationship with someone who truly loves and cares for me, only for me to not be able to reciprocate properly because of my depression.
Is this a consequence of working for the FBI?
Sorry hahaha
Bro I feel the same way, it is like I want that connection with another person, but at the same time it is scary because I think I might miss some huge red flags as you said and it'll end up with my life ruined by it, I know it sounds kinda exaggerated, but that is a persistent fear I have, and even if I meet someone who is a good person, I will most likely push them away because I feel like I won't be able to reciprocate their love and affection in the same way, which may lead them to feel unloved and unhappy about the relationship, and I rather have those feelings for myself than to cause them on someone else, and then, the cycle repeats itself, I meet someone, I get scared because they might be a crazy person, so I try not to feel anything for them, but if I do, and they are a good person, they will get pushed away out of my fear of hurting them, and I know it'll lead eventually to Isolate myself from love and relationships but I can't help it, the fear wins over my want to have a relationship or connection with someone else, I guess I'm just afraid of love and getting hurt or to hurt others, but to play "safe" throughout all of our life will only lead to an unfulfilling and boring life, filled with regrets of what you could've experienced, and I also don't want that, so I'm kinda stuck between wanting to live my life without any fears or worries about this, at least not in an excessive way, and at the same time, not wanting to hurt anyone and being scared of getting hurt in a devastating way, which leads me to get isolated, I guess I should keep working on my trust issues. I don't know if anyone will relate to someone of what I've said, but I just wanted to write a little bit about it (I guess not a little bit, maybe a bit too much, sorry for the long text) so yeah, this video makes sense to me and I relate to the majority of it, honestly I expected it, so I'm not surprised, but it is nice to see more of this kind of content and to help people to understand their fears and even themselves better :)
can 100% totally relate
@@yooogibare Okay, that made me laugh lmao.
Can relate
I'm just somebody who finds alone time/isolation far more peaceful, and honestly, I've never had the desire to form relationships, I've always rejected women who asked me out.
Is there a specific reason behind your preference for alone time, and do you consider it to be a positive choice for your well-being?
@@Psych2go lead poisoning as a baby, and knowing the effects it will have on my offspring, makes it the wise choice.
@@Psych2go as for my reason why, I've never felt the need to form connections, hanging out is fine, but I get bored being around people if I'm around them for too long.
"Isn't it better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all?"
In todays age, i honestly can't say it is anymore tbh
I rather be never have loved at all.
@@megumi-chan458yep, what you don't know can't hurt you
Facts
I believe the sentiment still holds true because, even if you've loved and lost, you're left with something invaluable, beautiful memories. This is a unique aspect that those who've never experienced love might not have. They could be left with lingering questions and regrets about what might have been if they had taken the chance.
@@Psych2go So you are saying you've personally had positive experiences with love. Me and others here have not.
I'm afraid of falling in love because I've never being loved.
I no longer even try anymore, the last time I tried I was the best version of myself, I was even a little proud of what I've had become, and yet, I wasn't enough, that was like a year and a half ago, and still haunts me that "I will never be enough" thought
Nature is that which selects (the top males, females almost always can get at least some affection). So, just be hot, tall, young, cut male. Oh wait, that's only the top 10% and most can't do much to change it. Men who are aware of this know if they aren't hot and attract a girl it's about his money and provision (but that's not love). It all boils down to what spread DNA, it's not egalitarian or intelligent design. But, there are pay for services available in some places.
@@bobbruce4135never read so much bs but ok (don't speak in the name of women again please)
Youre one of the few that actually learned to give up. Im proud of you.
@@anderstermansen130
Thanks (?), I mean, it's kinda sad to give up on what I've always wanted, but I'm 38 now, It just won't happen. But yea, giving up and look for something else that might make you happy kinda a big step.
Sometimes it finds you. My stepfather had given up before I met him and then he fell in love at 45 with my mother, they're both happier than they've ever been and they'd both given up on love from old wounds. Few things are impossible. But make sure you're working on self-improvement for your own sake, trying to build yourself for another person makes it hit a thousand times harder if there's no reciprocation/things fall apart. Best of luck man.
In this day in age, it’s hard for me fall in love. I’m kinda afraid because I’ve been turned down by a lot girls in the past and they don’t want to see the real me. I feel that the pattern is going to repeat every time when I like someone new. I hope I can overcome that fear someday and find someone who will know me truly.
I know exactly what you mean 😢
Yes but imagine how inconvenient it would be if all those had reciprocated the feelings when you meet the someone you're really meant to be with...? I would say it's good those others are out the way when that person comes along.
I felt the same 😢
Then you dump them and date the other person. This isn’t rocket science. Relationships require some practice.
I had a crush on one of my best friends and it was a train wreck. I very attached so it hurt so bad and it still does a little bit. Sadly I lost that close friendship with her. I see her everyday but it hurts to look. I distanced myself for a while and it definitely helped with feelings. We talk again but not like before. I miss that awsome friendship. I’m scared of love now cause I don’t want to loose that connection like I’ve done literally every time. It’s gonna be really hard, so I just try to be kind to my friends now and treat them lovingly the way they deserve. That’s what friends are for right?
nahh lose that 'friend', she fake af. (trust me I know females better than themselves)
I know how you feel, my friend told me that they liked me one day but I don’t have the same feelings so after that we distanced ourselves from each other because it was too awkward, I will say though that it is possible to fix these relationships if you both want to be friends still, me and the girl that said she liked me have become close friends again after a few months but it doesn’t always work out. I wish you luck
OMG!!! My childhood was exactly as described in this video! 😫🥺Depressed and anxious mother and an emotionally distant relationship with dad (due to his drug addiction) And I can relate to all these signs as I navigate this new relationship I'm in. 🤯
I have never been in a relationship, so its hard for me to determine if I am afraid of falling in love. I have had a few crushes and most of the time I was let down gently without a huge heartbreak, but I think that has still hurt me.
Specifically , there is a guy in my friend group that I liked, and about a year and a half ago he figured out that I liked him and told me he didn't reciprocate. He was very nice about it and we were able to work it out and stay friends, but it really sucks. I still like him, but have made a choice to try and ignore those feelings so they don't get in the way of our friendship. It's hard though because we are at the age where we talk about what we want out of life like how many kids we would want or where we would want to live, etc. He was talking with a small group of us and said he wants more daughters than sons so he could walk them down the aisle and that made my heart absolutely melt, but it broke me too. It made me so much more attracted to him, but I know he won't ever like me the same way.
Communicate feelings and intentions to important people about important things. Don't rush love, build a strong and trusting relationship. And be level headed. You want to find love, not someone you see idealised through rose-tinted glasses.
However, I think it's good to not be love-averse. Forming a beautiful relationship doesn't have to come with a high cost. Don't avoid being in the presence of people you are attracted to. Love, care, connect, be inspired.
Loss of a loved one whether because it didn't make sense for them to stay, or because you happened to find out so many things which were deal-breakers, doesn't rid the fact that you were able to have beautiful interactions and was positively influenced by their actions in the past. Just be aware that it may not last, for whatever reason, and let go of things which you don't have a choice but to let go.
A relationship not developing in the way you hope or imagine doesn't rid the relationship you've built until now. Work on maintaining healthy and positive connections. More positive means more worth your effort to maintain relations. Some relationships are not worth as much time and effort, I do hope this doesn't become apparent after finding out someone was lying about themselves and their intentions, but this is why building trust and understanding is so important. For feeling assured and trusting of the relationship, but also to just feel closer and more connected too.
💯
I grew up with a strong pair of parents who gave me a good template to look for in a romantic relationship.
I've also seen what love does to a lot of people. It makes em blind. They make mistakes, and it leaves them as a shell of themselves when it all goes wrong. Some don't ever recover.
Forget romance, I've lost people who were very dear to me, and it damn near crippled me. I know I'm gonna have to go through that again with my family and best friends...
I still hope I might one day find a woman I can love, but I gotta say... that risk factor is pretty damning.
fools learn from experience, the wise learn from history. don't let it repeat, stay out out love my guy
As someone who is Aromantic and Asexual I'm always afraid that maye I do experience these forms of attraction but don't realize it. I came to these videos regarding romance second guessing myself and doubting my own feelings because of these things that everyone else experience. I found that I don't relate to anything, if anything I'm less worried of falling in love with someone than I am of someone falling for me since I won't see them as they see me. I like romance especially in fiction and sometimes am prone to fantacising about it myself, but when it comes to actually wanting it irl I just don't see it. I'm always open to change, if anything changes in the future then I'm ok with that but I don't really mind if it doesn't either. I just don't want to hurt anyones feelings, I don't want to lose a friend, I don't hate anyone, I just want them to be happy because I become happy when I see others happy. I just know I will most likely never be able to recicropate those feelings to another person.
real
same
You not aromantic- you are suppresing your needs and emotions because of fear of not fulfilling them- my friend and I have same problem , but I am slowly recovering
@@altaris6593 I'm glad that you and your friend are doing better, but please don't assume it's the same problem for everybody. I can see that you've typed it with good intentions, but ultimately it's not helpful to invalidate other people's experiences; even if you think they're mistaken about their own experiences (and even if they actually are mistaken about their own experiences), invalidating it helps to nobody, and honestly comes across as a bit a-phobic.
Respectfully, I am aromantic I understand your pov I know you probably experienced something similar but I am not afraid of falling in love. I am not suppressing my needs either, if anything I am acknowledging them because I am stating that I don't have the same needs as everyone else. My only fear that I stated was that I don't want anyone to fall for me because I am not capable of sharing those feelings, aromantic means to experience little to no romantic attraction, it doesn't mean I am afraid of commitment or romance itself I just don't experience the same feelings as you or your friend.
It’s so hard after a heartbreak, feeling something for someone but not the other way around, giving and not receiving.
There's 2 things that make me afraid of falling in love and those are
1. I can't really talk to strangers idk I used to do it just fine as a kid but now i only say a word to answer a question and in public spaces not even a sound comes out of my mouth
2. I don't know what will happen in the future and how they'll treat me and i don't want it to be bad
this video couldnt come in a better time, im in fact, affraid of love after my break up, i took so much of me that i dont even know who i am now, i feel like a broken toy that was discarded away...
I was playing basketball with a girl I really liked. Had a nice conversation after and she was saying she's gonna go home to bake some cookies and even mentioned that her parents weren't coming home until later that day. I wanted to offer my help and spend more time with her but I got scared and went home. I try not to hate myself for being so weak... These days I feel like the single life suits me better because when I finally got the courage to tell her how I feel, she told me she's seeing somebody and it just broke me. I spend way to much time thinking about what I'll say to her that I forgot to actually speak to her and we slowly drifted apart. So now instead of blaming my trauma I'm starting to accept that it is what it is, it's not my fault for what happened to me when I was young and I can live with that.
Detachment is so real for me, like if i could marry my phone, we'd still be in the honeymoon phase 💀 After all, why would i bother trying to get to know people who might only have 1 thing in common with, much less talk to them period, when spotify and youtube and stuff are right there when you want them?
Idk what it is, but i can barely hold a conversation irl, and it gets worse when it comes to texting/calling, like i feel my chest tighten up when i think about texting or calling people. Maybe i just don't want the awkwardness to transfer online or smth? idk
Also, as someone with an emotionally distant workaholic dad with a negative view of life, i think i'm guilty of fault-finding too since it gives me all the more reason not to talk to people. I used to be positive and happy when i was little, but now it seems like i can never win, so why bother?
Wow. I resonated with you. Soo well. The same for me
Timestamps
1). Actions ≠ intentions 1:45
2). Overly critical 2:48
3). Detached 3:36
4). Second-guessing 4:16
5). Secretive 4:50
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Your channel has always helped me with my mental health, and as a man, I don't have a lot of help with that. I have started a relationship with someone, and I feel your channel is partly responsible for this, even though we live in different countries (I in Canada BC and her in Louisiana USA) I have never been happier. I guess I just wanted to thank you. I was afraid of love being open with someone else again was terrifying, but you helped me heal, and now I have to willingness to love again and will do everything in my power to make this work.
I rather remain isolated from other people than to try to find love. I'm not interested in a relationship at all. Its a big waste of time and I hate talking to people. I'd rather not loved at all than to love and lose.
I relate to these signs but only to an extent. Nothing wrong happened in my childhood, from what I remember, it was mainly just what I saw or heard happen that I grew to fear. It also doesn't help that, outside of my family, I've lost so many people because of putting distance because of my own self-doubt. That's what made it all fall down hill, my self-doubt. As I watched this video, that's the trend I started seeing: I fear love because of self-doubt. It also doesn't help that for some reason I disagree with the phrase "It's better to have loved than lost than never have loved at all" because I feel that it's better to never have fallen for anyone and just remained focused on your friends, your family, and yourself. I'm so afraid of everything love brings and there's always that voice in the back of my head: What if I'm wrong?
I hate it since I feel like I may have unintentionally hurt or pushed away someone that I love because I was so afraid they didn't feel the same. I was so doubtful. Don't they deserve someone better? Now I'm lost since I've realized how much I pushed away that person instead of what I THOUGHT was THEM pushing ME away. Turns out it probably was always ME pushing THEM away and them responding accordingly. I have to make it right, I know, but where do I even begin? I've always been too focused on: "What if they don't feel that way about me?" That I never even thought to consider "What if they DO feel that way about me?" Where do I even begin on restoring this broken track?
For me though, I can't really distinguish love from being friends or romantically. It's as if like I'm very dense on understanding romantic love.
Maybe teasing played a role because a lot of people mess around with me by "shipping" me to a random girl or a dude (I'm a guy, and Bi). Some do mess around with me (mostly guys) by actually making a "romantic" move, which in turn, made me more confused because they're sending mixed signals.
So if people do admit the they're into me romantically, I just automatically shrug it off because my first thought is like: "Are they teasing me again?"
Soo yeah... I've never been into a relationship for this reason:
"If I misinterpreted they're sign of friendship as a romantic approach, it would be really awkward for both of us and I don't want our friendship to go downhill because I misinterpreted they're sign of friendship as a romantic sign."
i just want to let you know that you're not alone! a lot of people have issues distinguishing platonic & romantic attraction & behavior. there's not always a solid line dividing them. but don't be afraid of falling for a friend. if they reciprocate, that's big! if they don't, it hurts, but with a little luck, they'll still like you enough to stay friends with, and that's at least something.
however, don't let other people push you into relationships with their "shipping." those people are looking for whatever personal satisfaction, and they don't really know or care about what qualities you need in a partner.
As an autistic person, yep. I've always been confused at how flirting's supposed to work and just write stuff off as "Oh, they're just complimenting/asking me stuff." I don't even get what the difference between a crush and love is, like aren't crushes supposed to be you falling in love with someone??
Their*
5:35 “Isn’t it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?”
K from Men in Black: “Try it.”
It's not that I'm afraid to fall in love with someone, it's the fear where you feel like something might break you like Loving too much and overthinking about everything when you're trying to enjoy the relationship, If it's the person I would truly love and the person feel the same thing for me then I would appreciate her and wouldn't hurt to be myself also wouldn't have to fear telling her why I feel so spaced out. It's hard for me to say "What does life really have to offer me after of all the things I been through and not have the interest to like someone".
if the person is genuine, strong and smart then I would love her for who she is
I may be wrong on this but, another reason for fearing of falling in love may be because of heartbreak at a young age. I have been through two relationships, and both went horribly wrong when I was younger and through my experiences dealing with heartbreak, depression, etc at a young age seemed to make me fear falling in love. I don't know if there is any professional research about this or if there is another reason I might have the fear of falling in love.
i kinda just wanted to share
Nahh this is very much common under younger (men), just love yourself and spend time with the boys and make a lot of money (the best revenge on a delusional female fr).
The scars from past relationships can definitely influence our approach to new ones, but taking the lessons learned from past experiences and applying them to foster personal development can pave the way for healthier relationships in the future.
I’m so fucked up I can’t love , trust issues Play a big part always being there for somebody when they need you but when you need them the love isn’t reciprocated back. That’s why I don’t have friends. They’re the biggest snakes.
I have litterally taught myself to be terrorfied of love, because i damn well know i ruin everything i come nearby.
Love is something all humans need, but not something all humans want.
I'm not afraid of love, I've realized from a hard look at my past that not everyone will have love in their life.
I have trust issues, so I can't believe that someone truly loves me. I always think that the person is laying to me.
I think I scared to falling in love because I'm not confident enough for that kinda of relationship. On this list it's seems some of it were related, but yeah if I got a fortune , why not . For now I'm just be single. So right now I'm comfortable on that way . I appreciate this , psych2go 😁❤️
So many people relate. Slow and steady progress, maybe even with people in similar situations. It could be a way to grow together ❤️
I'm not as afraid of love as I am of friendships. I know that my mind will often create dangers where there are none. But after having been in an abundance of unhealthy friendships and having a "friend" threaten to blackmail you and then revoke their statement, I understand why I react the way I do. I have friends who I care about and who I know fully well will jump at a sign to defend me. Despite that, whenever I hear a change in tone or they snap at me because of something else that someone did, I retreat from them. That's when I subconsciously tell myself that the people closest to you are the quickest to turn on you. It scares me. I've taught myself to acknowledge the bad and to remember that good things can still exist. I understand that people have bad days and will react in aggressive ways. And that's okay as long as they apologize and know what they are apologizing for. I have a lot of friends but I always feel like I'm alone. I'll continue to teach myself to develop a positive mindset. For those of you who are struggling with friendships, know that things happen and though we can't dictate how events play out, we can decide how we choose to react. You can pull yourself out of cynicism. It's easier said than done, but it isn't impossible.
Always remember to love yourself. Be cause it's the key to love others
I'm in the middle of a difficult process of healing.
I wasn't diagnosed as an autist until my late 30s, grew up with a mother who is all about the A4 format and an emotional distant father.
Some of the factors playing in here are mother's take on my lack of ability to read a room.
She preached I should assume the other person was just polite if they said they enjoyed my company. Down to scolding me when I received letters because I needed to leave them be.
In social settings, if I felt uncomfortable and withdrew mother told me off for my ungrateful attitude. If I was tolerated I needed to suck up any imaginary offences and smile.
Not to mention always keep in mind that they had struggles which.....
Now at the age of 48 I still struggle with believing you want me around, not just tolerating my present.
If you slept badly last night you are justified in lashing out at me.
If you cancel on me last minute I am not allowed to feel disappointment.
it's difficult to admit and I had guessed that I was afraid. To think that I know I am afraid to fall in love yet crave the feeling of having an important person and being important to them is not fun.
Still, it's tough to do when all they ever do is leave because they realize you aren't as outgoing and attractive as they thought.
Or if you are physically attractive. But don’t have all of the other attractive sides. Like being outgoing. Or other things
You are describing me right now. I once had a crush on someone in grade 9 but the person told me that we're too young to be dating and that we should wait till the right time. A bit hurtful but I respected his decision, but then we grew apart and stopped talking(haven't seen him since). Not that I'm scared of falling in love because I really yearn for someone to genuinely love me and I'll do the same but the thing is once you meet someone and you get this weird vibe from them(like you already see that you and this person will not work out), you just distance yourself from them.
I'm not afraid of it. I just know it won't happen. I've always let myself down by allowing myself to be hurt and betrayed by others. Why risk it again for something that is clearly out of reach? I was cursed the moment I was born
You are afraid
My parents got divorced when I was 11 to 12 years old but they ended getting new partners that love them very much
Great video! I learned a lot about myself. I think a great follow up video to this is to how to get over your fear of falling in love. I'm pretty sure a lot of us would greatly appreciate that. :) Thank you for the great video either way!
I have this but its more of a fear of accidentally loving someone unconditionally. Fear of falling in love in general is easier to explain but it's less relatable for me
Thank you for this video- I think I understand how I feel about someone a little better.
It has always been hard for me to communicate feelings, but this has helped me see that what I am doing is getting me no where and I should take the risk.
I learned long ago to stop showing my feelings. It can and will be weaponized against me.
I want to keep distance in my case , as a survivor of narcissist abuse, it's hard to believe if something is genuine or not . I rather friendship instead, it's more valuable and free to me. Besides , with my current disabilities, it's already hard enough to express and comunicate.
I wonder if I have or had philophobia. I remember feeling absolute terror when I was genuinely interested in a woman, and fighting through those negative emotions throughout the relationship, which didn’t work out. It’s usually a scary experience for me. I don’t know, I try not to be pessimistic, but I can’t think of a reason to get out there beyond the usual platitudes like in the video (no offense).
I have a fear of falling in love with someone who would not share the same love with me. Onesided love is the most agonizing thing ever. I always try to list down the flows of the girl who I have a crush on. I think that is the best way to stay away from further fueling the crush and eventually scumbing in to unrequited love. It has saved me from a world of pain. I believe Philophobia is a defense mechanism developed by the mind to save you from pain of onesided love.
My god. What an explaination. I am exactly going through this. To explain my situation, I am afraid of falling in love because I dont believe anyone can love me more than my mother. They either are oppurtunistic or pretending. I know its wrong but cant help it
Mandy, I'll try to love again, but I know: that first rejection, that zealous ghosting, that insult against what love stands for... I wish I had been spared knowing just what it feels like to be bleeding from the heart... God's counting on someday, I wake up and see that not every girl deserves me, till then when concentrating on the ministry of the Lord, I'm off the romance market 🌟
I find this video very relatable, I'm actually afraid, because I got hurt before, this video helped me to understand me better. Even though I never saw it that way, that it's better to have loved the lost love at least, instead of never have had it but be safe, I think that makes sense to me, so better being with someone, instead of never.
I love how Psych2go knows us more than ourselves 😭
EXCATLY!!!😢😢😢
So, here’s the thing, I’m not exactly afraid of falling in love in itself, it’s more that in social and personal situations, I have a certain role or script for those situations. When people are genuinely into me (as far and few in-between as those occurrences are) or vice versa, I don’t know how to work around that script to be genuine, which then brings up the point that it’s not really me they’re into, it’s the act they like.
The idea of being in a relationship hits so different to me. I love imagining myself being in a relationship which felt so freaking unreal like reading a book character's love life. But in reality I'm not feeling I'm into being in a relationship. I watched your "why higly intelligent people struggle with love" video and that felt so much like me. And I wanna add another reason for it. I'm afraid of being in a relationship. Because of the relationships that I saw, the relationship that my parents shared etc. And I'm freaking out when think of being in a relationship because I feel like it's gonna turn bad whatever you do or whoever you are in relationship with. And I don't wanna do any stupid thing which actually means falling in love to me.
Good, solid Platonic FRIENDSHIP is so underrated in this day and age that it’s ridiculous. All this “falling in love” stuff does is tangle and wreck the hearts & minds of both sexes. Besides, too often we all are looking for the “Romeo & Juliet” fantasy, which is not sustainable. By contrast, friendship, when genuine, can last decades as there is no “obligation” in the big picture to keep up a facade. In short, no pressure, as many friends do not live together and relish the time they do spend in meaningful ways.
Your voice alone brings me peace and comfort... thank you for existing
Im not afraid of falling in love, im afraid of HURTING the one i love and so on
Grief is the price we pay for love 😔
All i know about love is that ive been burned by it enough times to understand that its not worth trusting. Remember that question, "Isn't it better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all?"; My honest answer: No.
If your lover is a female, "she's not yours it's just your turn". And, if you aren't a giga hot top 10 guy, all the love you're getting is fake anyway.
@@bobbruce4135 Even if that was true, that kind of thinking sounds rather toxic to take seriously.
@@rampagephoenix1735 If non-Chad fails to take it seriously, hopefully he had the snip and pre-nup.
@bobbruce4135 "She's not yours, it's just your turn", "Non-chad"???
Listen, bud, you clearly seem to have some kind of agenda you wanna push, and I would advise you to practice more wisdom in doing so.
Frankly, I'm feeling kinda ticked off that you wanna act like you understand my circumstances better than I do and then try to pass off passive aggressive judgment towards my Ex's in the form of "advice"; For starters, I don't even KNOW you, and YOU DO NOT know the circumstances behind MY break ups.
I appreciate that you took the time to put in your two cents, but here's the thing, coming from someone as ignorant of the context regarding my personal past as you, I find your advice to be worthless and unhelpful, and your perspective to be very unhealthy.
Thanks, but no thanks, pal.
@@rampagephoenix1735 My response was not aimed at you as I know nothing of your situation. I'm sorry if it appeared like it was. If you re-read my comments you'll notice they are generic and apply to every male including me (I wish what I was saying wasn't true). We were all born to parents who likely didn't know and couldn't teach us what we now know about evolutionary psychology and female nature. Channels this this one and the MSM will never delve into these topics despite the plethora of data. An Ear For Men (psychologist Paul Elam) was one of the first to address these points. Channels like Wheat Waffles, Better Bachelor and Coach Greg Adams give additional perspective that none of us like to hear.
Even before playing the video I was at an emphatic YES. But then the prospect of falling in love would scare me since I spent 10+ years in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship that drained me of myself, letting those walls down now would be incredibly difficult as a result.
I've had my heart broken and feelings betrayed in September by the woman I thought I would marry. The first time in my life that I was that certain about something/someone. I've had no choice but to accept this and I'm still not quite over it. I've recently begun dating again, but it's difficult to really get into it when you're constantly reminded of the last experience and how things went down. It's gotten so far as me realising that I'm catching feelings for this new person, and despite that I still feel like I'm doing this person a disservice by still thinking about my ex, and by being afraid of allowing myself to open up and be vulnerable again.
I have philophobia too. As an introvert, I am very comfortable being alone. Yes, I yearn for affection but when someone started to become affectionate towards me and I feel that I'm starting to get attached, it overwhelms me so much that detaching feels safer than allowing myself to be vulnerable. Solitude feels so good because it's something I am familiar with and falling in love seems like a very terrifying idea. Too terrified to get hurt, terrified to lose my identity, terrified to lose myself in the process. I'm not actively looking for love but am not closing my doors for somebody that will make me feel that love is greater than my fears. But for now, I'm still enjoying my solitude and am completely okay with it.
I'm terrified of falling for anyone again... I'm sick of the pain and hurt. I can't take it anymore, so I decided instead to avoid ever being with anyone again. And if I ever do care for someone that way, I will just avoid and ignore it. Better than being hurt...
Of all the failed relationships I’ve had and how much they hurt and broke me I was, in time ready to open up after… until I lost my dog. Never felt pain like it. Totally avoidant of any connection since. People lie and let you down and are malicious. That dog was genuine, loyal, everything everybody needs.
I don't think I will ever find anyone. The first one 20 years ago was so sexually abusive that I could have taken him to court, but I was too afraid to. This year, I thought I had found true love, but it was someone who would lie, manipulate, and gossip. That has my parents not believing in me even more, and I have to live with them because of having Asperger's. I loved some of the times and feelings that I got this year, but I honestly feel that I can't ever have them again.
My last relationship was a total train wreck. My friends were all fake and made me felt unwanted
We're different and only love those who makes you happy but never enough to say I love you! Might as well love yourself cause this is how you become stronger......
Don’t Wanna Fall in Love by Green Day sums this feeling up pretty well I think
Along with also just being a super cool song
Love scares tf out of me, even surface level non romantic love. Over a few years I’m just used to pain & love just rips me apart & breaks me down. I’m much more comfortable brighting up anybody’s day any day every day & moving forward than making relationships. Honestly I could use help on analyzing this & taking one step forward the right direction.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 ESV
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.
Not something I will ever have to worry about
"do you remember moments when your actions were not aligned with what you felt?"
Hmm.. yes I do.. I believe every time I have been in a relationship..
I can identify with these. I found out my attachment style is avoidant. I do put up walls because of trust issues, sure. My thing is this, if one wants to be with me, prove that it will be worth my energy to do so and be honest about it. If my soul doesn't feel the other person is honest, then why continue. Romance is something I've lost faith in because it doesn't really last. For me, it is about stability and strong foundations. Those things can not be rushed.
"Love for the family, but not for a broken relationship."
- RainStreet
Some people are not afraid to love, but they are afraid to end up with a broken heart 💔
I believe love is a beautiful thing but its just not for me. My Lord loves me and thats all the love i need
3:48 Here's my dilemma in this scenario. For one, I'm a problem solver through and through. Before I think of consoling them, I'm thinking of how to fix it, which comes with two negative potentials. One is that there may not be a way to fix it. And two, they' weren't asking me to solve the problem to begin with. Another nail in the coffin is I hate empty platitudes. I hate receiving them, and because of that hate, I'll never give them.
💙💙We would have a healthier conception of love if we understood that love, like parenting or friendship, is a feeling that expresses itself in action. What we really feel is reflected in what we do. The poet’s song is dazzling and the passion powerful, but the deepest beauty of love is how it changes lives.
I love these psych2go videos. I might be an old man with a host of issues that usually only surface after a bottle of Jack Daniel's but I'll be damned if they don't help with introspection.
I'm not a good man, but I've got a lot of life experience and I'm self aware and vulnerable enough to tell just about anyone my faults if it can give them a better life.
Despite being a possibly terrible person I only hope my life can be used to improve the life of others. At least one person.
you always fall in love when you are not looking for love, you are just looking for peace and then in a world of chaos and violence you find peace, something that feels more like home, then actually home :)
Im so afraid of love that when any opportunity presents itself i shy away with nothing to say or something that will get me out of conversations sooner, thank you, appreciate it or have a good day. Im scared of allowing someone in my life or being apart of theirs
Oh GOD this explains so much. My parents are great but I lived with grandparents who do physically harm each other in the past... plus our family is pretty traditional, marriage kinda means forever... :)
This video hit the nail right on the head for me. Even the childhood described was exactly mine. My parents always did their best to show me they loved me, but still I felt like I wasn't good enough. Through my life men always saw me as the inbetween or mistress, which resonated with my inner feelings. Now I have a stable relationship and I see the patterns of overly critical (the birthday where he does 90% but I get upset about the remaining 10%) and even more so the overthinking and anxiousness that he is just saying all these things. How do I know that this is my fear and overthinking vs my intuition telling me something is off????
its really hard because i always have that sinking feeling that its just a facade that ive known for years
I am afraid that they might fall in love with me.
Also why your voice is healing me. I don't feel pleasure instead it is warm and comfort. Please teach me How to talk like you.
This just makes me sad because I know I'll never be able to love anyone completely. A vacuum will always exist in me
Before i watched the video: i can tell you I’m definitely scared of love had a few rough relationships with family and romantic wise. My mom was always physically and mentally abusive, my father just decided he didn’t want to be apart of my life anymore at 14, had a 6 year relationship where she got pregnant by another guy and tried to blame me for her cheating and lying, and multiple relationships where i was done wrong for literally being too nice. Now 22 and no therapy for any of my unsolved traumas and that led to me pushing away new experiences and meeting new people. It’s terrible feeling this way😖. And it’s not like it’s controllable. One minute you’re all in love and everything is going well. Then boom you realize everything is going on well and think that it’s only going well because you’re being set up. You lose trust in people and question your self worth.
I overthink everything in every situation which causes me to criticize myself in a way that makes me feel like I don’t deserve to be with nobody
Get ur money up not ur feelings down
Children get crushes, adults get special ones. What do we get? Paid B)
Being an INFP male that spent time with his parents only after I was 3 years old, immigrated to another country at 4, being an anxious introvert with no special attribute, not being particularly beautiful, and not having the money to afford a house...
I guess all these are the reason why I've always been single.
You would never believe me if I told that falling in love and the feelings of continuously repeating that over and over again as the years pass by I felt. But having to let go is unbearable to the core. And experiencing it all over again but it's not me this time it's my friend she's going through the motions as I type this here. OMG trying to give support but at the same time being invisible to her being right in front of her. I can feel her heart breaking 6:03
I'm Aro/Ace, and while I've had a few low-grade "crushes" ["squishes," more like], I've rarely been able to actually "love" anyone. Maybe a form of "friend-want" or almost "aethetic-pretty", but never neither reach that level of "want in bed" nor "want in life/household". FML
Same, the only times I ever had any "crushes" were really just because I either thought I had to or because I confused wanting to be friends with someone with wanting to be with them.