ah i've been in that situation before, im not sure why you're hiding in there but its okay! school is hard and making new friends can also be hard. hang in there babe
POV for this because I couldn’t stop thinking about it :D You and Wilbur were walking along a trail in the woods. It was growing darker even though it was the middle of the day. The heavy cloud cover thickened the further you and Wilbur walked. Finally, you came across what seemed to be abandoned train tracks. You and Wilbur followed it, trying to hurry as you felt the first few drops of rain mist your face. You guys turn the corner, immediately seeing what you desired to find, a train tunnel. Wilbur stretched out his hand for you and you gladly accepted it. He pulled you along into the dark tunnel, walking about 15 feet in before settling down, swinging your feet as Wilbur took out his guitar as started strumming it softly as the rain poured down heavily. You sighed contently as Wilbur sang, closing your eyes softly, allowing the words and rain to flow over you. You finally felt happy. Edit: Grammar/spelling
Right now I feel like a passenger in my own body. Like time is moving on without me. I feel stuck, just waiting for something, anything to change. It’s feels like everything is always the same. I thought summer would change that, but it didn’t. It just made me more bored. My parents are always so distracted, my brothers are away at college, and I feel a little alone. All I do is listen to music and play guitar. I feel like a prisoner to boredom. Nothing satisfies me anymore I just genuinely don’t know what to do. I fantasize about leaving this place, growing up and being on my own, and I’m just holding out. I feel like if my parents got involved it would make things worse. I would feel smothered and dependent, doing nothing on my own, and relying on other people for everything. I feel like all of my old friends have changed so much, and that they are moving on without me. My new friends just don’t feel like my old ones, I just don’t feels as much of a connection. I never talk to girls, because either none of them are interested in me, or I’m too busy with school, or something. The only thing I have to entertain me is my own mind, and these scenarios I create in my head, where I am someone else, somewhere else, doing something else. I just don’t feel like myself anymore.
Also, I’m only venting here because I feel like I have no where else to vent, I feel like if I vented to any of my friends they wouldn’t understand, or they would laugh at me, or something, it’s weird how the internet can feel safer than the real world
@@snipermonkey427 i know exactly how you feel mate. its hard to find things you genuinely enjoy. and sometimes it feels like you're just out of your body, like you aren't yourself. and sometimes it feels like you're just trying to make everyone but yourself happy. the only advice i can give you is maybe make some online friends. funny enough, online friends are sometimes better than irl friends haha. the internet and online friends is a good outlet, especially if you just want to have a nice rant. i hope you figure it out my friend, because im still trying to figure it out too. stay safe and take care!!
i’ve been looking for an 8d audio video of the full album and this is the closest i could find and it’s just as good!!! it’s so relaxing, you did an amazing job :)
As much as I'm really scared of storms, I find the sound really relaxing, and so does this. I love it :) Thank you. P.S, I'm listening while its actually raining in my country, so, extra rain ig :)
I know I’m 2 months late to this comment but, I have really bad migraines with bad headaches so I totally understand your pain :’) I hope you are able to heal asap! Have a nice morning/day/ evening
@@abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz7365 Thank you! Headaches are still a thing for me sadly but I’m trying to fix it! I hope you have a good day/night or evening too :D
This album is really out here for lonely people. I remember having this on repeat last year in the bathroom during lunch because i didn’t want to feel alone. It hasn’t gotten much better since then, but I’m still here and I’m still moving forward in hopes I’ll see those better days eventually
0:00 - Jubilee Line 3:05 - Saline Solution 6:23 - Since I Saw Vienna 8:49 - Losing Face 12:48 - Your Sister Was Right 15:18 - La Jolla 18:55 I'm Sorry Boris to all of you who are suffering, please take care of yourself. You only live one life and k-wording yourself is going to hurt so many people. Don't do it. I don't care how much you want to, I won't let you. You have a lot to live for, even when you think you don't. Things will get better. I love you stranger.
I miss last year so much, this album reminds me of just messing around with my best friend, it was always cold and i always wore way too many layers. I was still experimenting with self expression and clothing and I just had fucking fun with it and we had this one tree which I would climb and they would sit lower down on it. I was also shit at make up but i tried it and i had fun with it. During this time, it was the first time I actually felt like bad, mentally. We both loved the dream smp and we would meet up in this spot near the tree and talk about it and walk around and it sometimes snowed and sometimes there was ice. Yea, sure, it wasn't perfect but that's what made it beautiful and that's why i hold this time so dear to me. I laughed so much and had such a good time and that's what mattered. I can't wait to have more moments like this and treasure them in the future like this :]
~~~ 0:00 - Jubilee Line 3:05 - Saline Solution 6:23 - Since I Saw Vienna 8:50 - Losing Face 12:48 - Your Sister Was Right 15:18 - La Jolla 18:55 - I'm Sorry Boris ~~~
they dont want me anymore. it would seem no one does. all i can do isnwatch in silence as they live their happy life, knowing i was never quite good enough for them.
you will always be good enough. don't let other people make you feel that way, even though its hard. certain people will try to make you feel like you aren't good enough but they're just wrong. you will always be enough, sometimes you just need to find the right person to make you feel that way. you're more than enough.
Thank you for this, my paranoia has been really bad recently and i was trying to listen to it normally but the fact that there was no background noise was very unsettling to me so this is perfect for me to go to sleep to. Thank you again this sounds lovely🍓
i always get anxious and panicky when i try to sleep and this is one of the few things that helps me sleep so i put it on repeat every night, tysm this really helps
I love how saline solution is relatable to the right people, and how it talks about a rare kind of anxiety, so I made one themed in derealization :) tw One, two, three and four I think my eyes are lying I'm not melodramatic I'm just wary beyond any Reasoning for thinking it’s a fucking game or something I think my eyes are lying I think my eyes are lying I think I've lost my mind Blurring the depth and the surface Whilst simultaneously listening To music, headphones on maximum Look at my hands, and see If it’s real, or if it’s fake I think I've lost my mind I think I've lost my mind If I could calm down just one night Maybe I could wake up and feel alright My optimistically set alarm clock time seems only to taunt with apparent chimes Don’t think I’ll make my choice I live in fear of what’s behind it Can’t trust my eyes, trust my loved ones Can’t seem to make my choice Sink into a distraction Let the fear claw at my head Can’t seem to find my voice It’s only sadness and saudade Where time’ll melt into a fade Is it real? Is it real? Oh, I’ll ask Is it real? Oh, I’ll ask Is it real? Oh, I’ll ask myself
Right now things have been a bit rough so I come here to relax and just vibe ya know I wish that things were better but what can ya do I used to hear rain a lot now I don’t hear it much at all so this is comforting thank you
I actually did something to help myself today! I seemed professional help! I messaged the Trevor Project to chat and I genuinely feel better. I wish I were able to have therapy tho if I'm honest, but I'm glad I talked to them. The person I talked with helped me so much
very great job! I like to practice these songs while I listen, the rain is great. I have various mental issues and sometimes its impossible to calm down, this calms me down almost instantly, for that I thank you, really, thanks.
I come back to this comments section again tonight, significantly less stressed than last time but regardless. This seems like a good place to spew my thoughts so might as well. I can't think of how to organize anything so this will just be a bulleted list of my life right now lol. - I've reached the final week of my junior year of high school. Because of covid this is the first time I've experienced it in person. Things could be better, but they could be worse. I can't get myself to study, I had the first half of my math final today and didn't do great. I haven't been to a psychologist but I know something is wrong and I've checked out mentally for the last few days of school. I've never had problems with getting up and getting to school even at my worst before this, maybe because it was online then, but now i'm barely managing these last few days. but I prioritized school over myself heavily up until a few months ago so I don't think my grades will suffer massively. Four more days to go. - Sometimes I feel like music and Minecraft are the only things that bring me much joy. I have one incredible friend but they live out of town and when I'm not with them I spend days or weeks feeling alone. logically I know that my family and school acquaintances don't all hate me but often it's easier to close myself up than be reasonable. - I spent most of 2020-2021 in a really bad state so it wasn't until very recently that I actually let myself engage in my interests. A few months ago I bought a poster for a band I liked and wanted to cry when it arrived because I've never gotten myself anything so personal as that one poster before. Nobody had gotten me a gift that personal in years either and it was more special because I earned it with my own money. It feels really nice to let myself enjoy things, who would've thought lmao. a few months later and I have posters all over my walls and merch is basically all I wear. I didn't get to have obsessions or get into fun things like a lot of my friends did back when we were all 14 and I was too bust being sad so I'm really enjoying it now. I'm drawing fan art. Impulsively buying merch. I'm writing for the sake of writing with no end goal of publishing. Even if like I grow out of Minecraft and of wilbur and all the other things I'm enjoying now, I won't regret letting myself have fun for once. - I'm learning guitar now, I can play the l'manberg national anthem (literally just hallelujah), Since I saw vienna, and I'm staring to learn your new boyfriend. I'm learning I really enjoy music in all forms. Playing it, singing it, but I wouldn't be caught dead performing for a crowd. When I had to pretty much rebuild myself after 2020, I emulated a lot of traits from confident characters and people I looked up to (staring directly at c!tommy) but it's much harder to put into practice. I was able to start guitar lessons and that's a big step but still I had to drop drama which I put on my schedule for senior year a while ago. I'm just not ready for performing yet. But I have the rest of my life. Some day. - but overall I'm definitely feeling more confident about my future. some things could be better for sure but I think things will work themselves out. I'm sure I'll visit the comments again sometime. Edit: phrasing
Ycgma is literally my comfort album, everytime I feel extremely anxious or depressed I come back, life is difficult now for a LOT of reasons and sometimes I just wanna quit, this version in especial makes me more emotional since it's so calm and peaceful, it calms me down while I'm crying late at night and needed comfort
your sister was right , jubilee line and saline soloution are three of my favourite songs in this album and here is why: YOUR SISTER WAS RIGHT: the reason i love this song is because its so close to home, i see the song as if you have felt great guilt for how you have treated people you love in the past that you dont want to suffer like that anymore so you let them go, but you realise you still love them, but you cant get them back you feel like all the memories and grief of the past is piled on you and you cant move. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- SALINE SOLOUTION: your fed up, you think theres no point in life, you've done everything you wanted to, you've gone crazy being on the earth the lyric "i think its time i died" is the realization of depression, you think your time is up. (btw you are loved, never take your life under any condition, you are special and amazing, if you are 100% sure no-one loves you, its not true, someone out there depends on you, i may have not met you, and i know when you see these things you dont belive them, but this one is true. but i care about you, every suicide is a tradgedy, never do it no matter what.) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- JUBILEE LINE: the reason this is my 3rd favourite is because as someone who goes to london all the time and goes on the underground, i look around me and see all these depressed sad people, and im so glad they didnt decide to take their life on the rails today, the fact is, when someone takes their life on the underground, all the business men/women/other shake their heads and look at their heads not thinking about the tradgedy that just happened, the lyric "shout at the walls because the walls dont fucking love you." hits home for me, i hate being mean, ii hate shouting and sometimes you have to let it out on something, no-one is there with you or for you so the walls are your only option. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- these songs have a much deeper meaning to me then just notes and lyrics, they describes the tradgedy's that live within the world, they describe depression and suicide, they give the effect of not having energy left, being fed up and tired, and all you can do is lay in bed and think about all the problems in life, and dont do stuff about them. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i have a something for all the people suffering from depression like me..... today or tommorow i want you to go outside, into a forest, to the beach, wherever makes you feel alive, and listen to the natrual sounds of life, get dressed up in your favourite outfit, go and see your family, go meet some friends, or make friends... be more than me. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
god i just. im listening to this on the brink of multiple huge changes in my life. im about to graduate high school and im about to move away from my dad and his family. i will be leaving behind all my friends, all of the connections i had in this town. sure, i fucking hate it here, its boring and just another sprawling suburb of DC, but i dont want to leave yet. i dont feel ready to be a true adult, im still just a dumbass sitting in his room who doesnt know what hes doing at any given time. i cant remember half my childhood because my dad and stepmom were abusive but i dont want to leave them. i cant understand why i forgave my dad, despite my excuse of him getting better. i lived in fear for over a year that id accidentally kill my mom, one of my only positive life influences, because some idiot near me refused to wear a surgical mask. i lost my grandfather, one of the people i have the most positive memories of, for a reason no one will tell me. my brain barely functions and i feel terrible all the time. i feel like a filthy creature built of hate and anger, and even though i know im not i feel monstrous. i live in fear that ill be murdered for being trans, or bi, or ace and i hate myself for it. i dont see my friends anymore and i fucking miss them.
love u, babe. the world will always be an infinitely better place with you in it. i hope everything works out for you if our paths never cross again. there are people in this world who love you, people you've never even met yet that see you as their world. things get better.
I actually have a big fear of my sister going to jail for being Bi, Lesbian, or Non-binary, this country we live in is pretty homophobic.. I live in Indonesia.
18, is just legally, theres people, 89, with brains of 3 year olds. Life has its obstacles, people have troulbe seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. You have many years for your life, your life is gonna change because of that. In good ways since itll be so long ago. You'll find it again. No matter how long it takes! You just gotta take it slowly, and everything will come slower. A lot of people love you, even ones you dont know, they're hoping for you to have a good life im sure! Theres more good than bad people! You'll always be protected by something you cant see, its always there with you. Mixes of the worlds love and your path! Please knw everything gets better, everyone always says it, but it is true. Takes long sometimes, but not your entire life I promise. Just try your best to chillax, cry however much you need to, and I promise everything will be different. LOVE YOU YOU CAN DO IT SUSGSHSHSUWUA :DDDDDDDD ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🌱❤❤
VENT WARNING: SELF HARM, HURTFUL THINGS! this morning I woke up from a nightmare about my favorite person. First it was them saying horrible and hurtful things to me, saying the hate me, saying that I was the reason they are hurting themselves. Then the dream changed. I was holding their hand at the edge of a clif, they said “ I never loved you” and pushed me off the clif. Then I had to watch as they hurt themselves, then I woke up. I really appreciate you letting me vent here, bc writing this all out was really helpful.
I love the rain and everything that comes with it but it fucks with my joints so much. I use playlists like this to relax so I can enjoy the noise without the pain :)
VENT so basically i have been just having a bad time on earth rn. i don't understand why i'm getting these depressive episodes because my life is pretty good. i just want to happy again. and it just makes me upset because my friend of 2 years has just been making everything around these people she just met. it fucking pisses me off. having abandonment issuse doesn't help either. plus i keep thinking about how i could of had a relationship if i would of thought about others mental health instead of mine. oh god im selfish. it annoys me because i don't understand people's emotions and trauma. you can say you're suicidal and i don't know what to say. i just sit there and play with my fingers. im so selfish and disrespectful. i just don't understand. plus besides all these things im feeling in the inside, i cant stand looking at myself for a moment in the mirror. i cant stand to look at myself because i could have been a skinny person and not have a fucking double chin. i just feel so ugly and disgusting. why couldn't i just be innocent and have the perfect life. why do i have these episodes. why cant i get rid of toxic relationships. why cant i understand others feelings and traumas. why cant i understand my feelings. why cant i love people. why cant i cry. i just want to cry but all i do is hold it in and pretend everything's alright. it's not. i cant even wash my hair. i hate how my body feels so wrong. i cant even wear crop tops like other girls. i just feel ugly and want to cover up when i do. my mom asks why i wear hoodies maybe it's because i hate my body. i don't understand why i'm so insecure about it though. so many people would kill to have my semi-normal body. like my friend of 2 years said, "people would kill to have my body. don't be so insecure and selfish." i just want to fucking stop being like this. i want attention but when i do i don't know what to say or do. i'm just a lost soul looking for a way to get out off this hellhole of an earth. today i was putting away the dishes and saw a knife. i wanted to slice my finger open and actually feel something.
I'm sorry for intruding on the venting space but- can we just appreciate how perfect everything is in this mashup!! The volume is perfect and the gifs are on point and satisfiying!! it's really hard to find Wilbur soot music even because he helps me fall asleep. Also, letting your comments be a venting area
I havent actually vented somewhere like this in like ever. Although no one knows me here so that makes it a little more comfortable. I havent felt this shit and overall lost since the quarantine in november of 2020. It was a horrible time period where I genuinly though id lose my beloved girlfriend. Everyone was feeling like crap and this whole corona thing seemed like it would never stop. Its july now. It seems like most of the restrictions went away for now. Why do I still feel almost the same? I feel lost, helpless, i have no fucking clue what to do with my life after my senior year, the pressure from my parents and their bullying is getting rly out of hand. Its just horrible. My gf is also in a shity situation and i feel so helpless. Im trying my very best but she just doesnt seem to get better. I tell her I love her everyday, but because she doesnt understand how does she feel about life in general, so I dont receive the words "I love you too back". I domt know. Its just so much and Im so lost. Sometimes I dont even see a point in any of this. Like if its not gonna get better, whats even the point?
i dont like being an over thinker, sensitive and social anxiety. i just wanna live in peace, i dont like feeling like this pls just give me space. i need some time to think, im only a teenager, im not elon musk. why do you think so low of me? i tried to do my best and this is what i get in reward? ... i didnt asked to be borned, treat me like how u wanted to be treated when u were a teenager, qifarah is real
I being so damn empty. Sure, I don't feel empty all the time: sometimes I'm angry, or sad- but I don't feel happy either. Or if I do it's fleeting. I can't remember the last time I was genuinely happy and forgot about everything: my mum's terminal cancer and my stupid autism and social anxiety and the urge to self harm again. I just wish I could hang out with a big group of friends and forget for a little bit. This album helps a lot though. .
Rant: TW: Suicide, Self Harm, Drugs and alcohol • • • • • • • • • I almost ended my life tonight. For like the third time. This time i’ve progressed. I’ve written the letters. Everything’s set for whenever i finally do it. I just wanna feel okay yk? I just wanna be at peace for once in my life. I’ve never felt calm and at peace. I’ve had to stop cutting because everything got taken away from me. Sharp objects aren’t even allowed in the house. I’ve turned to drugs and alcohol and i don’t know what to do anymore.
TW: suicide, self-harm - - - - - - i'm so glad you're still here. i've been in that exact same position too many times. i've written letters as well, but look, i'm still here. and i know its annoying when people are always saying, "things get better, things get better" but they actually do. you can use me as an example, it used to be really bad. i use to cut a lot, attempted twice. i used to think there was really no way out except for death. but what i didn't realize was that all i needed was someone to listen to my problems. not a therapist, but a genuine friend that cared and just wanted to listen. if you don't have anyone like that, i'd be so glad to become your friend and talk about anything your heart desires, i'm more of a listener than a talker. just know that things get better, i swear they do. even if its annoying to hear over and over again. please take care of yourself, love
TW: suicide, self harm. . . . . . . Hey, I just wanna say that I'm so proud of u for staying with me. there is so much more to life than this and ik its hard but trust me its gonna be ok. ik it seems like there's no way out bu there's light at the end of the tunnel and ur almost there. stay with me ok.
Vent: trigger warning Im so sick of it all. Im sick of it. I want everything to end but at the same time i dont. I have a war going on in my own mind and it never seems to end. Its tiring. I wish it would end. It started when i was 10. This marked the 7th anniversary of my parents splitting. My mother thought i needed to be more responsible now. So, i got a phone. I started texting my daddy. It was fine until one day, my mom asked me "ask your dad when hes getting you." So i did. And it continued. And my parents stopped communicating with eachother and used me to talk. But my parents are polar opposites and basically depise eachother. This meant that they when they had arguments, i was in the middle. My mother would go "Tell your dad that hes lazy and needs to be in your life!" (which is not true. Hes doing perfectly fine compared to you, sad excuse of a mother) And i would tell him And he would say "tell your mother that i am in your life! Im just in a rough spot in my life!" And so i would. And it hurts, because i love both my parents (including that old witch, i have some salty feelings for that bitch though), but i was in the middle of the arguments all the time. And so it started. I started to notice that my mothers expectations for me were starting to get ridiculous. If i were to mess up on anything (dropping something, losing something, forgetting something important, make a b in grades, or say something wrong/not classy in public) she would give me 2 hour lectures. Now i feel like i cant tell her anything without getting yelled at. Cut to 11 years of age. Just came from my all star cheer class so im wearing a sports bra. Come home and my mother starts to laugh, saying "look at your tummy! Its chubby! Do you need help going on a diet?" But the thing was, i was like around 30 pounds underweight That night was the first time i looked at my body with digust. I never felt so terrible in my own skin. It sucked She continued making rude comments until now, when my step dad joined in. We just finished dinner and i was helping mom with her dishes. He looked at me and my mom and started laughing. My mom was like "what?" And he replied "i cant tell whose pregnant!" My mom was 8 months pregnant. I was 12 years of age, weighing 107 pounds. I immediately excused myself, but my voice cracked, like bad, so when i ran to my room, he followed me to make sure i was okay. His excuse for making the comment was "i was joking!" I trusted him, and he betrayed me. I cried for hours that night. Because of that moment, i started to starve myself. My school friends noticed this though and forced me to eat one day. I wanted to puke afterwards (and still do thinking about it, since now i dont like to eat much) but im greatful i atleast have friends that care. I dont starve myself bad anymore, but ill fast every once in a while. My mom has a habit of lying to me aswell. She lies to me so she seems like she has a purpose of being so rude. She lies so she isnt seen as such a bad parent. Thats all she does. Is lie, lie, lie. And can you stop gas lighting me lady? I get your mom was so "mean to you" and "you want me to have a better future than yourself, so your setting me up for sucess" like no, your setting me up for suicide bitch. I dont care your mom was an asshole sometimes. Stop bringing it up everytime i cry and you catch me! Just let me cry! Not hear your 'terrible past!!' My mother also uses me for reputation. The only times she is proud of me is when i get awarded. Then she will go brag about me to her friends, telling them im such a great daughter and that you got so lucky to have me. No, i got unlucky having you as a mother. I guess im just sick of being perfect in my mothers eyes. Its really hard. I feel like im not even human. I cant make mistakes, cant make 96's and below in classes, cant be myself, cant wear comfy clothes (have to dress nice and do my hair everyday), cant even tell friends about my rules. But at daddys house, i feel free. Like i have nothing stopping me from being myself. Its amazing. I have decided that when i leave this earth, i will go down with a bang. I will make sure everyone knows that my mother is a bitch. I will make sure that she knows she ruined my life. I will make sure. And to my mother, since i cant tell you face to face, ill tell you here. You are a bitch who i despise. Fuck being classy. Fuck being perfect. Fuck all your rules. Fuck your reputation. Fuck your life and everything. You manipulating bitch. Ps: im turning 13 in May, and i already feel like shit because of her. I made a promise to myself that i will wait until im 16 to take my life, but with the way everything is going down, i dont think im making it past 14. But its fine! Ill just live a good life while i can :)
im so stuck. its almost like sometimes, its the same everyday. i try doing stuff different. but yet, with the ways months have passed, things are still similar. oh. why. why, i try so hard. yet i still remember the way it felt to get crushed under him. i stull remember the fear i had when he almost stabbed me. only this year i finally escaped sexual harassment and assault. two different guys, ones a stabbing pervert, another is my own cousin. and, her. its like, i try so uard to get over it and, i dont know how to. it just gets stuck inside me. everyone sees me as some sort of hyper lil talkative person, but, i feel bad because i dont live up to taht expectation. im, just rotting in my room. i don't know how to get over it. it haunts me sometimes. those experiences i had.. those people ive met.. her.. theyre gone, but i worry, what if they come back? im so stuck I HATE IT. PLEASE JUST LET ME BE FUCKING NORMAL. I WANT TO HAVE NICE CONVERSATIONS WITH MY FRIENDS, HANG OUT, BUT EVEN MAINTAINING FRIENDSHIPS AT THIS POINT IS SUPER HARD. i know so many people yet i only keep up with one, but even with tjem, i dont answer much because im too busy cryung and listening to music, pacing around my room, thinking of those bad shit that happened to me. i miss drawing. i miss playing games. i miss reading. i miss my hobbies. im glued to my phone hoping something happens. something fun happens and instead i just . waste my life looking around for something to do online but its just me listening to music and crying. i feel better, just ranting to the world about it. even if it really isnt the world and just a comment section. i, i just like that real people are here, real people just like me. and im not some sort of., pyscho. just rambling in mynnotes. it, makes my feelings feel more bunched up inside of me . ill come more. sometimes my own thoughts haunt me. but im ready to live another life. one where, these things dont haunt me. theyre not here anymore, they cant hurt me. im living a whole different new life with out them. its over. its in the past. its done. its a new day where i can do new shit.
i just ghosted my friends. i havent talked to them in 3 days. i . i feel so awkward. i got so busy with fathers day and, my own personal mental health. i feel bad i dont even know how to apologize or how to come back. like, am i even supposed to apologize? surely i have to. they seem annoyed. i left without saying anything. what do i even say. im not even a good friend. i barely message people. im sorry. i really am. i wish i wasnt like this. i dont know how to end a conversation, im so sorry i just read peoples messages and sometimes dont reply/forget to reply becaude i started being the same slump ive been ever since i learned i was s/a. i dont know why it sticks with me so much. i dont even know how to deal witu it. ive talked to the hotlines and all they tell me is.. like to have self love or something. but. im horrible at commitment. i cant even brush my own teeth everyday haha. i try, ive been doing better. i wanna be better.. maybe ill go see that rainb thing they sent me. well. see you again later. hope you're doing better dude. please know each day is a new day where you can start over again. mwah. i love you
NOT AGAIN NOT AFAIN APSHAOS OT AGON NOT AGAIN NO KONKONINONONO ONONO. i CANT DO IT NOT A HOTLINE AGAIN PLEASE NO I CANT NO NO STOP ITS THE FORUTH TIME NO MPLEADE I FEEL DISGUSTED BU MY OWN MENRAL ILLNESS NO
I cane back here on a whim and realized it's been just over a year since my last comment. So time for another life update. Things got better. Much, much better. The people who hurt me are out of my life, apart from my parents who i am moving away from in about a month. I hurt myself and i stopped. I got diagnosed. I have a small collection of friends and a girlfriend who makes me a better person every day. I have a little confidence, growing tentatively. I put myself down too much because i don't have much but when i look where i was a year ago i remember i should be proud. I have a future and i don't know what will happen with it, but i have it. Life is better. It was bound to get better eventually. It was hard but i am okay. And i still like wilbur, hence my being here. Some things never change.
Hi! Listening to this made me realise something. That I've been lonely. Very lonely. And i kinda stopped noticing. I feel like I'm starting to accept the truth. I'm starting to understand that's how it is. I'm lonely. That's it. There will be better days for sure,but i really can't see them right now. I hope i can achieve what I've always wanted to do... I hope i will change the way i should. I hope I'll get out of here someday. Have a nice day. -bc
I struggle to talk about my emotion irl so im gonna do it a youtube comment section, every time i look in the mirror i see a diffrent person than who i think i am like the way i think is a completely different person to what i look like, i dont look in the mirror very often anymore, i dont take care of myself, i dont leave the house, ive given up on trying to explain how or why i feel the way i do, all i do is stay in my head, im tired of thinking (That kinda turned into nonsensical rambling towards the end sorry about that, also probs gonna delete this later cus cringe)
I don't mind being isolated, but I can't stand being lonely... I was so isolated a few months ago and didn't feel great but now I'm surrounded by people and feel worse because I'm so lonely. I just want to be loved and held and be told that everything's going to get better, but I feel selfish because I don't even know if I'm capable of love.
I haven't gotten a good sleep in 3 weeks staying up till 3 or 4 am listening to music. My friends are just shit none care about me or my mental state. My parents think I'm a failure from what I can tell with the way they act to me. I feel cut out from the world with people not wanting me at all. Ayee good concept for lyrics I'm not ok or am I I'm I ok or am I faking it It dosent feel like I'm faking it But I feel guilty of trying to ask people for help for my own problems Is it me... Or is it the people around me Idk myself any more lmao I hate this ty for this amazing video it is kinda helping get my sleep schedule back before school Idc bout myself any more cause I'm not myself Thank you again
*My mums guilt tripping me into moving to America with her, but yet the only reason she wants me to go with her is so i can babysit a child she probably will have- but I need to stay in the UK for my best friend cuz if I leave I think shes gonna end it due to I'm one of the people keeping her going.. Why is my mum doing this to me?*
im so sorry D: i dont really know what to tell you in a situation like this, but have you tried talking to her?? maybe she'll understand. hopefully. i hope things get better for you and your friend soon
this comment section is a safe place to vent if u need to!! don't think it's annoying, i love reading all your comments
UK Suicide hotline: 116 123
Australian suicide hotline: 13 11 14
I love how strangers care about me more than people i know
@@indiinnit4461 dont worry bro we gotchu
@MACI MARLER thanks:)
Do I need a therapist? Maybe. Will I listen to this on repeat and call it therapy to avoid therapy? Yes.
lovely
you can always call/text those hotlines! they're free and I think they might have trained professionals! :)
Listening to this while hiding in the school bathrooms at lunch crying
ah i've been in that situation before, im not sure why you're hiding in there but its okay! school is hard and making new friends can also be hard. hang in there babe
You are literally a complete stranger but istg i will harvest the toes of whoever made you cry i'm sorry youre experiencing this
sending virtual hug your way
Sending you hugs from the interned
(>• v •)> here a virtual hug
me: "the perfect 'your city gave me asthma' compilation doesnt exis-"
this video: *exists*
me: *cries tto this aggressively*
POV for this because I couldn’t stop thinking about it :D
You and Wilbur were walking along a trail in the woods. It was growing darker even though it was the middle of the day.
The heavy cloud cover thickened the further you and Wilbur walked. Finally, you came across what seemed to be abandoned train tracks.
You and Wilbur followed it, trying to hurry as you felt the first few drops of rain mist your face. You guys turn the corner, immediately seeing what you desired to find, a train tunnel.
Wilbur stretched out his hand for you and you gladly accepted it. He pulled you along into the dark tunnel, walking about 15 feet in before settling down, swinging your feet as Wilbur took out his guitar as started strumming it softly as the rain poured down heavily.
You sighed contently as Wilbur sang, closing your eyes softly, allowing the words and rain to flow over you.
You finally felt happy.
Edit: Grammar/spelling
:')
this makes me happy in a way i can’t describe
this so good wtff
@@ottobab it’s called love honey
Ty for writing a whole Wattpad story TwT
THIS IS SO UNDERRATED
AGREED
FR
why did i start crying within the first minute-
same lol
Same...
why did i read: ew why did i start crying WHY
@@tarapoels LMAO
@@tarapoels LMFAOOOO
Im listening to this for past 4 hours- I think that's fine... right?
are you okay bestie?
who hurt u
@@hannahd2709 Everything is great... or maybe not?
@@lanasdiary3092 At this moment I don't think so Besty :]
@@sandijaliepa4245 well bestie dw it gets better :]]
saline solution is my favorite song from the album, it just has something to it that releases sadness and happiness inside my heart.
Relatable
Right now I feel like a passenger in my own body. Like time is moving on without me. I feel stuck, just waiting for something, anything to change. It’s feels like everything is always the same. I thought summer would change that, but it didn’t. It just made me more bored. My parents are always so distracted, my brothers are away at college, and I feel a little alone. All I do is listen to music and play guitar. I feel like a prisoner to boredom. Nothing satisfies me anymore I just genuinely don’t know what to do. I fantasize about leaving this place, growing up and being on my own, and I’m just holding out. I feel like if my parents got involved it would make things worse. I would feel smothered and dependent, doing nothing on my own, and relying on other people for everything. I feel like all of my old friends have changed so much, and that they are moving on without me. My new friends just don’t feel like my old ones, I just don’t feels as much of a connection. I never talk to girls, because either none of them are interested in me, or I’m too busy with school, or something. The only thing I have to entertain me is my own mind, and these scenarios I create in my head, where I am someone else, somewhere else, doing something else. I just don’t feel like myself anymore.
Also, I’m only venting here because I feel like I have no where else to vent, I feel like if I vented to any of my friends they wouldn’t understand, or they would laugh at me, or something, it’s weird how the internet can feel safer than the real world
@@snipermonkey427 i know exactly how you feel mate. its hard to find things you genuinely enjoy. and sometimes it feels like you're just out of your body, like you aren't yourself. and sometimes it feels like you're just trying to make everyone but yourself happy. the only advice i can give you is maybe make some online friends. funny enough, online friends are sometimes better than irl friends haha. the internet and online friends is a good outlet, especially if you just want to have a nice rant. i hope you figure it out my friend, because im still trying to figure it out too. stay safe and take care!!
@lyrk thanks man, really appreciate it
everything will be okay, you will be fine, go out today, or tommorow, and feel alive, laugh and smile and live your best life.
i’ve been looking for an 8d audio video of the full album and this is the closest i could find and it’s just as good!!! it’s so relaxing, you did an amazing job :)
me too 8d scratches my brain lolol
if you're still looking, heres a playlist th-cam.com/play/PLL_YIsgPWB0BKQhzXwONJhFIbbCvqcOKG.html
@@localgoats2278 that isn’t in order
@@clown1663 i mean you could make a playlist and sort them
@@localgoats2278 I have one-
It sounds haunting and I love it.
As much as I'm really scared of storms, I find the sound really relaxing, and so does this. I love it :)
Thank you.
P.S, I'm listening while its actually raining in my country, so, extra rain ig :)
w a t e r
Dude same, I was listening to this yesterday while it was raining lol
don't like violent storms with thunder and stuff but the gentle sounds of rain is very nice in combination with serene music
Same! I don’t usually like storms, but it’s mostly if it’s really close or if it’s lightning. Thunder doesn’t scare me that much
I have really, really bad headaches a lot and rain always helps. This is my favourite album which adds a calming aspect to it, we stan.
I know I’m 2 months late to this comment but, I have really bad migraines with bad headaches so I totally understand your pain :’) I hope you are able to heal asap! Have a nice morning/day/ evening
@@abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz7365 Thank you! Headaches are still a thing for me sadly but I’m trying to fix it! I hope you have a good day/night or evening too :D
This album is really out here for lonely people. I remember having this on repeat last year in the bathroom during lunch because i didn’t want to feel alone. It hasn’t gotten much better since then, but I’m still here and I’m still moving forward in hopes I’ll see those better days eventually
aaa tysm ;( this makes me really calm, i was about to breakdown before i saw this so i thank my recommendation and you for this !! love lots x
i'm glad it could help u even if it was just a little bit!!
I confessed my feeling to my crush while listening to this
HE SAID YES DNFJDJDBXB
@@smiff862 HAPPY FOR U BBY
@@smiff862 LETS GOOOOO IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU :DD
I adore this, thank you~ this will blow up dude
THANK U SM FOR CREATING THUS MASTERPIECE
this is comforting.
0:00 - Jubilee Line
3:05 - Saline Solution
6:23 - Since I Saw Vienna
8:49 - Losing Face
12:48 - Your Sister Was Right
15:18 - La Jolla
18:55 I'm Sorry Boris
to all of you who are suffering, please take care of yourself. You only live one life and k-wording yourself is going to hurt so many people. Don't do it. I don't care how much you want to, I won't let you. You have a lot to live for, even when you think you don't. Things will get better. I love you stranger.
i accidentally fell asleep to this. I finally got a decent sleep even if it was during the day. anyway, thank you for this I needed it : )
That's my plan too ive been really anxious lately
Glad to see it worked for you
@@ERROR-zx7uw I hope you get to sleep well too!
I was looking for something calming with ycgma and this was perfect, it calmed me down so much, and it’s just really beautiful. :)
I miss last year so much, this album reminds me of just messing around with my best friend, it was always cold and i always wore way too many layers. I was still experimenting with self expression and clothing and I just had fucking fun with it and we had this one tree which I would climb and they would sit lower down on it. I was also shit at make up but i tried it and i had fun with it. During this time, it was the first time I actually felt like bad, mentally. We both loved the dream smp and we would meet up in this spot near the tree and talk about it and walk around and it sometimes snowed and sometimes there was ice. Yea, sure, it wasn't perfect but that's what made it beautiful and that's why i hold this time so dear to me. I laughed so much and had such a good time and that's what mattered. I can't wait to have more moments like this and treasure them in the future like this :]
~~~
0:00 - Jubilee Line
3:05 - Saline Solution
6:23 - Since I Saw Vienna
8:50 - Losing Face
12:48 - Your Sister Was Right
15:18 - La Jolla
18:55 - I'm Sorry Boris
~~~
they dont want me anymore. it would seem no one does. all i can do isnwatch in silence as they live their happy life, knowing i was never quite good enough for them.
you will always be good enough. don't let other people make you feel that way, even though its hard. certain people will try to make you feel like you aren't good enough but they're just wrong. you will always be enough, sometimes you just need to find the right person to make you feel that way. you're more than enough.
Thank you for this, my paranoia has been really bad recently and i was trying to listen to it normally but the fact that there was no background noise was very unsettling to me so this is perfect for me to go to sleep to. Thank you again this sounds lovely🍓
i always get anxious and panicky when i try to sleep and this is one of the few things that helps me sleep so i put it on repeat every night, tysm this really helps
I love how saline solution is relatable to the right people, and how it talks about a rare kind of anxiety, so I made one themed in derealization :) tw
One, two, three and four
I think my eyes are lying
I'm not melodramatic
I'm just wary beyond any
Reasoning for thinking it’s a fucking game or something
I think my eyes are lying
I think my eyes are lying
I think I've lost my mind
Blurring the depth and the surface
Whilst simultaneously listening
To music, headphones on maximum
Look at my hands, and see
If it’s real, or if it’s fake
I think I've lost my mind
I think I've lost my mind
If I could calm down just one night
Maybe I could wake up and feel alright
My optimistically set alarm clock time
seems only to taunt with apparent chimes
Don’t think I’ll make my choice
I live in fear of what’s behind it
Can’t trust my eyes, trust my loved ones
Can’t seem to make my choice
Sink into a distraction
Let the fear claw at my head
Can’t seem to find my voice
It’s only sadness and saudade
Where time’ll melt into a fade
Is it real?
Is it real? Oh, I’ll ask
Is it real? Oh, I’ll ask
Is it real? Oh, I’ll ask
myself
Right now things have been a bit rough so I come here to relax and just vibe ya know I wish that things were better but what can ya do
I used to hear rain a lot now I don’t hear it much at all so this is comforting thank you
I actually did something to help myself today! I seemed professional help! I messaged the Trevor Project to chat and I genuinely feel better. I wish I were able to have therapy tho if I'm honest, but I'm glad I talked to them. The person I talked with helped me so much
even tho we’re strangers, I am so happy for you!! You’ll get on the other side I promise, no matter how bad things look :) You are strong
I’m so glad I found this it brings me so much peace :]
LOVE THIS OH MY GOD
very great job! I like to practice these songs while I listen, the rain is great. I have various mental issues and sometimes its impossible to calm down, this calms me down almost instantly, for that I thank you, really, thanks.
I come back to this comments section again tonight, significantly less stressed than last time but regardless. This seems like a good place to spew my thoughts so might as well. I can't think of how to organize anything so this will just be a bulleted list of my life right now lol.
- I've reached the final week of my junior year of high school. Because of covid this is the first time I've experienced it in person. Things could be better, but they could be worse. I can't get myself to study, I had the first half of my math final today and didn't do great. I haven't been to a psychologist but I know something is wrong and I've checked out mentally for the last few days of school. I've never had problems with getting up and getting to school even at my worst before this, maybe because it was online then, but now i'm barely managing these last few days. but I prioritized school over myself heavily up until a few months ago so I don't think my grades will suffer massively. Four more days to go.
- Sometimes I feel like music and Minecraft are the only things that bring me much joy. I have one incredible friend but they live out of town and when I'm not with them I spend days or weeks feeling alone. logically I know that my family and school acquaintances don't all hate me but often it's easier to close myself up than be reasonable.
- I spent most of 2020-2021 in a really bad state so it wasn't until very recently that I actually let myself engage in my interests. A few months ago I bought a poster for a band I liked and wanted to cry when it arrived because I've never gotten myself anything so personal as that one poster before. Nobody had gotten me a gift that personal in years either and it was more special because I earned it with my own money. It feels really nice to let myself enjoy things, who would've thought lmao. a few months later and I have posters all over my walls and merch is basically all I wear. I didn't get to have obsessions or get into fun things like a lot of my friends did back when we were all 14 and I was too bust being sad so I'm really enjoying it now. I'm drawing fan art. Impulsively buying merch. I'm writing for the sake of writing with no end goal of publishing. Even if like I grow out of Minecraft and of wilbur and all the other things I'm enjoying now, I won't regret letting myself have fun for once.
- I'm learning guitar now, I can play the l'manberg national anthem (literally just hallelujah), Since I saw vienna, and I'm staring to learn your new boyfriend. I'm learning I really enjoy music in all forms. Playing it, singing it, but I wouldn't be caught dead performing for a crowd. When I had to pretty much rebuild myself after 2020, I emulated a lot of traits from confident characters and people I looked up to (staring directly at c!tommy) but it's much harder to put into practice. I was able to start guitar lessons and that's a big step but still I had to drop drama which I put on my schedule for senior year a while ago. I'm just not ready for performing yet. But I have the rest of my life. Some day.
- but overall I'm definitely feeling more confident about my future. some things could be better for sure but I think things will work themselves out. I'm sure I'll visit the comments again sometime.
Edit: phrasing
this was just what I was looking for :) thank you
Ycgma is literally my comfort album, everytime I feel extremely anxious or depressed I come back, life is difficult now for a LOT of reasons and sometimes I just wanna quit, this version in especial makes me more emotional since it's so calm and peaceful, it calms me down while I'm crying late at night and needed comfort
Thank you for this it’s truly amazing 💙
this touches my soul. i can't help but feel like both life and death when i hear it.
it's actually raining outside as i listen to this i am also crying uncontrollably :D
WHY IS THIS SO UNDERRATED?!?
Omg I’m in love with this. I putted my phone under the pillow while listening to this and it was amazing :>
I’ve literally been looking everywhere for this thank you so much omg 🥺
your sister was right , jubilee line and saline soloution are three of my favourite songs in this album and here is why:
YOUR SISTER WAS RIGHT:
the reason i love this song is because its so close to home, i see the song as if you have felt great guilt for how you have treated people you love in the past that you dont want to suffer like that anymore so you let them go, but you realise you still love them, but you cant get them back you feel like all the memories and grief of the past is piled on you and you cant move.
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SALINE SOLOUTION:
your fed up, you think theres no point in life, you've done everything you wanted to, you've gone crazy being on the earth the lyric "i think its time i died" is the realization of depression, you think your time is up. (btw you are loved, never take your life under any condition, you are special and amazing, if you are 100% sure no-one loves you, its not true, someone out there depends on you, i may have not met you, and i know when you see these things you dont belive them, but this one is true. but i care about you, every suicide is a tradgedy, never do it no matter what.)
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JUBILEE LINE:
the reason this is my 3rd favourite is because as someone who goes to london all the time and goes on the underground, i look around me and see all these depressed sad people, and im so glad they didnt decide to take their life on the rails today, the fact is, when someone takes their life on the underground, all the business men/women/other shake their heads and look at their heads not thinking about the tradgedy that just happened, the lyric "shout at the walls because the walls dont fucking love you." hits home for me, i hate being mean, ii hate shouting and sometimes you have to let it out on something, no-one is there with you or for you so the walls are your only option.
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these songs have a much deeper meaning to me then just notes and lyrics, they describes the tradgedy's that live within the world, they describe depression and suicide, they give the effect of not having energy left, being fed up and tired, and all you can do is lay in bed and think about all the problems in life, and dont do stuff about them.
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i have a something for all the people suffering from depression like me.....
today or tommorow i want you to go outside, into a forest, to the beach, wherever makes you feel alive, and listen to the natrual sounds of life, get dressed up in your favourite outfit, go and see your family, go meet some friends, or make friends... be more than me.
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I’m back here again 😂 I literally can’t thank u enough it’s truly amazing!
Wishing this to be on Spotify 😍
this is heaven, i listen to this everyday
god i just. im listening to this on the brink of multiple huge changes in my life. im about to graduate high school and im about to move away from my dad and his family. i will be leaving behind all my friends, all of the connections i had in this town. sure, i fucking hate it here, its boring and just another sprawling suburb of DC, but i dont want to leave yet. i dont feel ready to be a true adult, im still just a dumbass sitting in his room who doesnt know what hes doing at any given time. i cant remember half my childhood because my dad and stepmom were abusive but i dont want to leave them. i cant understand why i forgave my dad, despite my excuse of him getting better. i lived in fear for over a year that id accidentally kill my mom, one of my only positive life influences, because some idiot near me refused to wear a surgical mask. i lost my grandfather, one of the people i have the most positive memories of, for a reason no one will tell me. my brain barely functions and i feel terrible all the time. i feel like a filthy creature built of hate and anger, and even though i know im not i feel monstrous. i live in fear that ill be murdered for being trans, or bi, or ace and i hate myself for it. i dont see my friends anymore and i fucking miss them.
love u, babe. the world will always be an infinitely better place with you in it. i hope everything works out for you if our paths never cross again. there are people in this world who love you, people you've never even met yet that see you as their world. things get better.
I actually have a big fear of my sister going to jail for being Bi, Lesbian, or Non-binary, this country we live in is pretty homophobic..
I live in Indonesia.
18, is just legally, theres people, 89, with brains of 3 year olds. Life has its obstacles, people have troulbe seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. You have many years for your life, your life is gonna change because of that. In good ways since itll be so long ago. You'll find it again. No matter how long it takes! You just gotta take it slowly, and everything will come slower. A lot of people love you, even ones you dont know, they're hoping for you to have a good life im sure! Theres more good than bad people! You'll always be protected by something you cant see, its always there with you. Mixes of the worlds love and your path! Please knw everything gets better, everyone always says it, but it is true. Takes long sometimes, but not your entire life I promise. Just try your best to chillax, cry however much you need to, and I promise everything will be different. LOVE YOU YOU CAN DO IT SUSGSHSHSUWUA :DDDDDDDD ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤🌱❤❤
everyones in the comment being all depressed and shit and im sat here needing a piss from the rain sounds 😭
Fun fact: i just listen to your city gave me asthma evertime im having a rough day and sometimes i just listen to it cause its weirdly calming
Probably my favourite video on the internet
i found this just when i needed it
This has literally helped me fall asleep for the past week it cured my insomnia
Ah yes two things that make me cry homework and ycgma let's put them together with rain, this can't go wrong
VENT WARNING: SELF HARM, HURTFUL THINGS!
this morning I woke up from a nightmare about my favorite person. First it was them saying horrible and hurtful things to me, saying the hate me, saying that I was the reason they are hurting themselves. Then the dream changed. I was holding their hand at the edge of a clif, they said “ I never loved you” and pushed me off the clif. Then I had to watch as they hurt themselves, then I woke up.
I really appreciate you letting me vent here, bc writing this all out was really helpful.
I love the rain and everything that comes with it but it fucks with my joints so much. I use playlists like this to relax so I can enjoy the noise without the pain :)
Love ur videos
this is about my 10th time listing to this thank u for this i have been very stressed with friends and school and this video helps destract me :)
12:48 :[ I need a hug
here's a virtual hug 🤗 :D
@@lyrk4817 thank you
@@sagedarling7748 i hope you feel better!
i sleep to this every day, this or the weekly slap. actually the most calming thing ever.
VENT
so basically i have been just having a bad time on earth rn. i don't understand why i'm getting these depressive episodes because my life is pretty good. i just want to happy again. and it just makes me upset because my friend of 2 years has just been making everything around these people she just met. it fucking pisses me off. having abandonment issuse doesn't help either. plus i keep thinking about how i could of had a relationship if i would of thought about others mental health instead of mine. oh god im selfish. it annoys me because i don't understand people's emotions and trauma. you can say you're suicidal and i don't know what to say. i just sit there and play with my fingers. im so selfish and disrespectful. i just don't understand. plus besides all these things im feeling in the inside, i cant stand looking at myself for a moment in the mirror. i cant stand to look at myself because i could have been a skinny person and not have a fucking double chin. i just feel so ugly and disgusting. why couldn't i just be innocent and have the perfect life. why do i have these episodes. why cant i get rid of toxic relationships. why cant i understand others feelings and traumas. why cant i understand my feelings. why cant i love people. why cant i cry. i just want to cry but all i do is hold it in and pretend everything's alright. it's not. i cant even wash my hair. i hate how my body feels so wrong. i cant even wear crop tops like other girls. i just feel ugly and want to cover up when i do. my mom asks why i wear hoodies maybe it's because i hate my body. i don't understand why i'm so insecure about it though. so many people would kill to have my semi-normal body. like my friend of 2 years said, "people would kill to have my body. don't be so insecure and selfish." i just want to fucking stop being like this. i want attention but when i do i don't know what to say or do. i'm just a lost soul looking for a way to get out off this hellhole of an earth. today i was putting away the dishes and saw a knife. i wanted to slice my finger open and actually feel something.
hey you! I’m sorry for you having a hard time atm but just a reminder : you’ll get better
@@ayo1082 this really made me happy. tysm
@@mellxaini8606 glad I could help, you’re welcome :D
I'm sorry for intruding on the venting space but- can we just appreciate how perfect everything is in this mashup!! The volume is perfect and the gifs are on point and satisfiying!! it's really hard to find Wilbur soot music even because he helps me fall asleep. Also, letting your comments be a venting area
i've putted this to play and it actualy started rainig, im so happy now
POV: trying to cry because everything is comming down on you but you're not able to feel anything at all...
My boyfriend just committed suicide, thank you I needed this. I love rain
i am so sorry for your loss, im glad i could help in any way. take care of yourself!!
I hope you’re doing alright, mate.
I’m so sorry, I hope your doing alright now
Hes always with you! I promise :D
listening to this in bio while trying not to go into a downwards spiral of dysphoria
i love when the thunder starts during your sister was right jusdfhbdaaa
this is the best thing i’ve ever heard
I havent actually vented somewhere like this in like ever. Although no one knows me here so that makes it a little more comfortable. I havent felt this shit and overall lost since the quarantine in november of 2020. It was a horrible time period where I genuinly though id lose my beloved girlfriend. Everyone was feeling like crap and this whole corona thing seemed like it would never stop.
Its july now. It seems like most of the restrictions went away for now. Why do I still feel almost the same? I feel lost, helpless, i have no fucking clue what to do with my life after my senior year, the pressure from my parents and their bullying is getting rly out of hand. Its just horrible. My gf is also in a shity situation and i feel so helpless. Im trying my very best but she just doesnt seem to get better. I tell her I love her everyday, but because she doesnt understand how does she feel about life in general, so I dont receive the words "I love you too back". I domt know. Its just so much and Im so lost. Sometimes I dont even see a point in any of this. Like if its not gonna get better, whats even the point?
@@sarahspr1ng ❤❤❤
i dont like being an over thinker, sensitive and social anxiety. i just wanna live in peace, i dont like feeling like this pls just give me space. i need some time to think, im only a teenager, im not elon musk. why do you think so low of me? i tried to do my best and this is what i get in reward? ... i didnt asked to be borned, treat me like how u wanted to be treated when u were a teenager, qifarah is real
i'm here for all of you
I being so damn empty. Sure, I don't feel empty all the time: sometimes I'm angry, or sad- but I don't feel happy either. Or if I do it's fleeting. I can't remember the last time I was genuinely happy and forgot about everything: my mum's terminal cancer and my stupid autism and social anxiety and the urge to self harm again. I just wish I could hang out with a big group of friends and forget for a little bit. This album helps a lot though.
.
Rant: TW: Suicide, Self Harm, Drugs and alcohol
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I almost ended my life tonight. For like the third time. This time i’ve progressed. I’ve written the letters. Everything’s set for whenever i finally do it. I just wanna feel okay yk? I just wanna be at peace for once in my life. I’ve never felt calm and at peace. I’ve had to stop cutting because everything got taken away from me. Sharp objects aren’t even allowed in the house. I’ve turned to drugs and alcohol and i don’t know what to do anymore.
TW: suicide, self-harm
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i'm so glad you're still here. i've been in that exact same position too many times. i've written letters as well, but look, i'm still here. and i know its annoying when people are always saying, "things get better, things get better" but they actually do. you can use me as an example, it used to be really bad. i use to cut a lot, attempted twice. i used to think there was really no way out except for death. but what i didn't realize was that all i needed was someone to listen to my problems. not a therapist, but a genuine friend that cared and just wanted to listen. if you don't have anyone like that, i'd be so glad to become your friend and talk about anything your heart desires, i'm more of a listener than a talker. just know that things get better, i swear they do. even if its annoying to hear over and over again. please take care of yourself, love
TW: suicide, self harm.
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Hey, I just wanna say that I'm so proud of u for staying with me. there is so much more to life than this and ik its hard but trust me its gonna be ok. ik it seems like there's no way out bu there's light at the end of the tunnel and ur almost there. stay with me ok.
@@liliazure494 💕💕💕
@@lyrk4817 💕💕is love to be friends! The more the marrier (idk the spelling)
@@bumblebeessoup Hope ur doing better
Vent: trigger warning
Im so sick of it all. Im sick of it. I want everything to end but at the same time i dont. I have a war going on in my own mind and it never seems to end. Its tiring. I wish it would end.
It started when i was 10. This marked the 7th anniversary of my parents splitting. My mother thought i needed to be more responsible now. So, i got a phone. I started texting my daddy. It was fine until one day, my mom asked me "ask your dad when hes getting you."
So i did.
And it continued.
And my parents stopped communicating with eachother and used me to talk.
But my parents are polar opposites and basically depise eachother. This meant that they when they had arguments, i was in the middle. My mother would go "Tell your dad that hes lazy and needs to be in your life!" (which is not true. Hes doing perfectly fine compared to you, sad excuse of a mother)
And i would tell him
And he would say "tell your mother that i am in your life! Im just in a rough spot in my life!" And so i would. And it hurts, because i love both my parents (including that old witch, i have some salty feelings for that bitch though), but i was in the middle of the arguments all the time. And so it started.
I started to notice that my mothers expectations for me were starting to get ridiculous. If i were to mess up on anything (dropping something, losing something, forgetting something important, make a b in grades, or say something wrong/not classy in public) she would give me 2 hour lectures. Now i feel like i cant tell her anything without getting yelled at.
Cut to 11 years of age. Just came from my all star cheer class so im wearing a sports bra. Come home and my mother starts to laugh, saying "look at your tummy! Its chubby! Do you need help going on a diet?"
But the thing was, i was like around 30 pounds underweight
That night was the first time i looked at my body with digust. I never felt so terrible in my own skin. It sucked
She continued making rude comments until now, when my step dad joined in. We just finished dinner and i was helping mom with her dishes. He looked at me and my mom and started laughing. My mom was like "what?" And he replied "i cant tell whose pregnant!"
My mom was 8 months pregnant.
I was 12 years of age, weighing 107 pounds.
I immediately excused myself, but my voice cracked, like bad, so when i ran to my room, he followed me to make sure i was okay. His excuse for making the comment was "i was joking!"
I trusted him, and he betrayed me.
I cried for hours that night.
Because of that moment, i started to starve myself. My school friends noticed this though and forced me to eat one day. I wanted to puke afterwards (and still do thinking about it, since now i dont like to eat much) but im greatful i atleast have friends that care. I dont starve myself bad anymore, but ill fast every once in a while.
My mom has a habit of lying to me aswell. She lies to me so she seems like she has a purpose of being so rude. She lies so she isnt seen as such a bad parent. Thats all she does. Is lie, lie, lie.
And can you stop gas lighting me lady? I get your mom was so "mean to you" and "you want me to have a better future than yourself, so your setting me up for sucess" like no, your setting me up for suicide bitch. I dont care your mom was an asshole sometimes. Stop bringing it up everytime i cry and you catch me! Just let me cry! Not hear your 'terrible past!!'
My mother also uses me for reputation. The only times she is proud of me is when i get awarded. Then she will go brag about me to her friends, telling them im such a great daughter and that you got so lucky to have me. No, i got unlucky having you as a mother.
I guess im just sick of being perfect in my mothers eyes. Its really hard. I feel like im not even human. I cant make mistakes, cant make 96's and below in classes, cant be myself, cant wear comfy clothes (have to dress nice and do my hair everyday), cant even tell friends about my rules.
But at daddys house, i feel free. Like i have nothing stopping me from being myself. Its amazing.
I have decided that when i leave this earth, i will go down with a bang. I will make sure everyone knows that my mother is a bitch. I will make sure that she knows she ruined my life. I will make sure.
And to my mother, since i cant tell you face to face, ill tell you here.
You are a bitch who i despise. Fuck being classy. Fuck being perfect. Fuck all your rules. Fuck your reputation. Fuck your life and everything. You manipulating bitch.
Ps: im turning 13 in May, and i already feel like shit because of her. I made a promise to myself that i will wait until im 16 to take my life, but with the way everything is going down, i dont think im making it past 14. But its fine! Ill just live a good life while i can :)
im so stuck. its almost like sometimes, its the same everyday. i try doing stuff different. but yet, with the ways months have passed, things are still similar. oh. why. why, i try so hard. yet i still remember the way it felt to get crushed under him. i stull remember the fear i had when he almost stabbed me. only this year i finally escaped sexual harassment and assault. two different guys, ones a stabbing pervert, another is my own cousin. and, her. its like, i try so uard to get over it and, i dont know how to. it just gets stuck inside me. everyone sees me as some sort of hyper lil talkative person, but, i feel bad because i dont live up to taht expectation. im, just rotting in my room. i don't know how to get over it. it haunts me sometimes. those experiences i had.. those people ive met.. her.. theyre gone, but i worry, what if they come back? im so stuck I HATE IT. PLEASE JUST LET ME BE FUCKING NORMAL. I WANT TO HAVE NICE CONVERSATIONS WITH MY FRIENDS, HANG OUT, BUT EVEN MAINTAINING FRIENDSHIPS AT THIS POINT IS SUPER HARD. i know so many people yet i only keep up with one, but even with tjem, i dont answer much because im too busy cryung and listening to music, pacing around my room, thinking of those bad shit that happened to me. i miss drawing. i miss playing games. i miss reading. i miss my hobbies. im glued to my phone hoping something happens. something fun happens and instead i just . waste my life looking around for something to do online but its just me listening to music and crying. i feel better, just ranting to the world about it. even if it really isnt the world and just a comment section. i, i just like that real people are here, real people just like me. and im not some sort of., pyscho. just rambling in mynnotes. it, makes my feelings feel more bunched up inside of me . ill come more. sometimes my own thoughts haunt me. but im ready to live another life. one where, these things dont haunt me. theyre not here anymore, they cant hurt me. im living a whole different new life with out them. its over. its in the past. its done. its a new day where i can do new shit.
i just ghosted my friends. i havent talked to them in 3 days. i . i feel so awkward. i got so busy with fathers day and, my own personal mental health. i feel bad i dont even know how to apologize or how to come back. like, am i even supposed to apologize? surely i have to. they seem annoyed. i left without saying anything. what do i even say. im not even a good friend. i barely message people. im sorry. i really am. i wish i wasnt like this. i dont know how to end a conversation, im so sorry i just read peoples messages and sometimes dont reply/forget to reply becaude i started being the same slump ive been ever since i learned i was s/a. i dont know why it sticks with me so much. i dont even know how to deal witu it. ive talked to the hotlines and all they tell me is.. like to have self love or something. but. im horrible at commitment. i cant even brush my own teeth everyday haha. i try, ive been doing better. i wanna be better.. maybe ill go see that rainb thing they sent me. well. see you again later. hope you're doing better dude. please know each day is a new day where you can start over again. mwah. i love you
NOT AGAIN NOT AFAIN APSHAOS OT AGON NOT AGAIN NO KONKONINONONO ONONO. i CANT DO IT NOT A HOTLINE AGAIN PLEASE NO I CANT NO NO STOP ITS THE FORUTH TIME NO MPLEADE I FEEL DISGUSTED BU MY OWN MENRAL ILLNESS NO
ill watch a video instead.
its real hard to cram, feel sad, and be distracted by the music at the same time dammit
best thing to cry to
Its terrifing how real the rain sounds with headphones 😥
I cane back here on a whim and realized it's been just over a year since my last comment. So time for another life update.
Things got better. Much, much better. The people who hurt me are out of my life, apart from my parents who i am moving away from in about a month.
I hurt myself and i stopped. I got diagnosed. I have a small collection of friends and a girlfriend who makes me a better person every day. I have a little confidence, growing tentatively. I put myself down too much because i don't have much but when i look where i was a year ago i remember i should be proud. I have a future and i don't know what will happen with it, but i have it. Life is better. It was bound to get better eventually. It was hard but i am okay.
And i still like wilbur, hence my being here. Some things never change.
thank you
“oh no i’m fine! perfectly fine
also me: listens to this album everyday
Hi!
Listening to this made me realise something.
That I've been lonely.
Very lonely.
And i kinda stopped noticing.
I feel like I'm starting to accept the truth.
I'm starting to understand that's how it is.
I'm lonely.
That's it.
There will be better days for sure,but i really can't see them right now.
I hope i can achieve what I've always wanted to do...
I hope i will change the way i should.
I hope I'll get out of here someday.
Have a nice day.
-bc
the thunder sounded so real i though it was actually thundering outside 😭
Listening to this while lying down outside in my backyard staring at the night sky❤❤
Not me doing the same thing
I struggle to talk about my emotion irl so im gonna do it a youtube comment section, every time i look in the mirror i see a diffrent person than who i think i am like the way i think is a completely different person to what i look like, i dont look in the mirror very often anymore, i dont take care of myself, i dont leave the house, ive given up on trying to explain how or why i feel the way i do, all i do is stay in my head, im tired of thinking
(That kinda turned into nonsensical rambling towards the end sorry about that, also
probs gonna delete this later cus cringe)
it’s raining right now and I’m in the car. If you close your eyes and listen to this it’s so soothing.
i fall asleep to this way more than i should
Goodnight
goodnight
Sleep well
hope you're okay, angel
@@breadbinsandwich8277 thank you so much :) sending you love aswell
causally had a mental breakdown while writing angsty shit cause coping mechanism and now im here, wondering if its worth it to be alive
wow
I don't mind being isolated, but I can't stand being lonely... I was so isolated a few months ago and didn't feel great but now I'm surrounded by people and feel worse because I'm so lonely. I just want to be loved and held and be told that everything's going to get better, but I feel selfish because I don't even know if I'm capable of love.
i fell asleep to this yesterday
I hate that relating to this, but the music is so damn good. Feels good to cry
boutta fall sleep to this. goodnight
i found this while having a derealization episode, i do not regret clicking
It's actually raining O-O
I haven't gotten a good sleep in 3 weeks staying up till 3 or 4 am listening to music.
My friends are just shit none care about me or my mental state.
My parents think I'm a failure from what I can tell with the way they act to me.
I feel cut out from the world with people not wanting me at all.
Ayee good concept for lyrics
I'm not ok or am I
I'm I ok or am I faking it
It dosent feel like I'm faking it
But I feel guilty of trying to ask people for help for my own problems
Is it me...
Or is it the people around me
Idk myself any more lmao I hate this ty for this amazing video it is kinda helping get my sleep schedule back before school
Idc bout myself any more cause I'm not myself
Thank you again
why is living so hard they shouldve made like... a warning lol
*My mums guilt tripping me into moving to America with her, but yet the only reason she wants me to go with her is so i can babysit a child she probably will have- but I need to stay in the UK for my best friend cuz if I leave I think shes gonna end it due to I'm one of the people keeping her going.. Why is my mum doing this to me?*
im so sorry D: i dont really know what to tell you in a situation like this, but have you tried talking to her?? maybe she'll understand. hopefully. i hope things get better for you and your friend soon
YCGMA is a great album. this makes it better.
than you for making this, genuinely.