Should You Let Your Husband Take Care Of The Finances?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ย. 2024
- Divorce lawyer and author James Sexton says you need to start the conversation about finances with your partner. Period.
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BOTH need to be involved in dealing with the finances.
BOTH need to know current bank balances, average monthly income, average monthly expenses, the difference between those, and if its not a POSITIVE number you need to BOTH work to fix it.
You can't leave one adult controlling all of the money and the other clueless if yo don't want to go broke.
How the hell do you not know ANYTHING? And for her husband to just say “don’t worry about it” sounds very suspicious. A conversation needs to be had asap.
Right! And it happens... A LOT. I used to be an auditor... no matter the income level, I've seen some massively messed up things.
I dont
If he's stronger in that area YES however there still needs to be communication about your finances. You should also be involved with all decisions. Steve's recommendation is also a great option.
yeah, among other things, trust is built and reinforced by transparency over time. i don't trust "yeah it's fine" as a suitable explanation for a major issue.
Husband unwilling to communicate finances is scary to me. I get he’s working and she stays home but aren’t they still a team? You should never be in the dark about your own life... even as a stay at home mom she should know exactly what’s going on with their money.
Especially as a stay at home mother, she is especially vulnerable.
2018 women who leave all decisions in the finances to me are crazy. Frankly this conversation should have been brought up before marriage.
brooklynforever1990 lmmfao
First of all, it wouldn't be a question to have ask nobody or tell nobody, I don't know what our finances look like because my husband won't tell me " Ummmm where are u from??
brooklynforever1990 I can bet he used the money
brooklynforever1990 yeah, but not all of know this.
You’ll find it’s probably how she grew up. Meaning that it’s how she saw her parents do it and everything was fine and worked out well. So she assumed the same for herself
That poor lady looks like she was about to cry. I'm sure she has a gut feeling something is wrong.
Prestige Hair she wants to shop more but can’t because she doesn’t want to work because she wants to care for her kids and not an “abusive” stranger
Omg....this one of the reasons Im divorcing my spouse. When I'd ask about the finances, he'd respond saying "you don't pay them, so you don't need to know."
Samaria Rhett this is why its key for a woman to be financially aware and independent. Relying on a man to control finances is too risky
His response is a red flag.
Your a weak woman for divorcing your husband for anything outside of cheating and hitting you.
@@seckouultimatedrkskin3309 lol shut up, just because she doesn’t work doesn’t mean she had to accept being treated as a doormat
@@seckouultimatedrkskin3309 she's very smart for her decision
my ex husband ( we lasted only 2 months he was too too too controlling, even the therapist told me to RUN), made little or no money and he had a lot of debt ( he didnt let me in on this till after we were married, actually i found out by accident, he acted like he was financially stable). he insisted that the only way we could work is if whats mine is his and his is mine, as in, all my salary goes into our joint account. WTF, i said hell no, we need 4 accounts the same like here. i did it his way for the first month because he was making such a big deal ( and to be honest, i had my savings which he didnt know about), and i watched him take my entire salary and pay our rent, book a surprise vacation and spend 2000 us on bottle service and cigars at the club for his friends... he was too financially irresponsible. a sinking ship. one of th many reasons i left.
*the woman in the back is feeling herself **3:13*
Haha! I noticed it too. I was like GIIIRRRRLLL! Stahhhp. 🤣
I’m single and I already use that account system to handle my income and I know for experience that it works perfectly.
She really looks impressed by the advice.
I like the fact that Steve said this about the bank accounts because me and my girlfriend have had this talk prior to marriage
To add onto the birthday present example: If you're gonna get me a birthday present, buy it with your OWN money....not with my money or your money and my money combined.
That’s literally what he said
Great Tips for a healthy financial relationship.
If the man will not answer questions about the finance, tell the wife never to worry about it he’s got it taken care of, it’s because he’s hiding something. He’s either had another woman or he is hiding the fact that he’s gambling or he’s hiding the fact that he has screwed up the finances somehow someway and you ain’t got no money but he’s hiding something.
My husband and I only have one account and it's a joint account. Both of our income when I was working went into it. I'm not working anymore because I'm pregnant with our 3rd child. We manage our income good because we pay all the bills on time (we agreed that I was the one in charge of that since the beginning). Each pay check wether it was his or mine we knew what was coming in from both sides. Every month a week before the 1st I check what needs to be paid in bills for the first. Most bills get paid in the middle of the month the latest. We have a budget of $100 a week for groceries and $100 a week for anything else that might be needed for that week. He knows I have to have at least $2000-$2800 for bills monthly.( I check every month and make a budget for bills and their due dates, when he gets home I show it to him so he knows how much each bill was) Whatever is left in the account if he wants to buy something he tells me I'm going to buy w/e it is he wanted to buy. If I want to buy something same thing sometimes we don't tell each other until after. We don't really care how much it is because we both like to save money. So we don't spend more than we think is needed unless it is a purchase of over $300 (a purchase this big is something we both have to agree about, this is something we also talked about since the beginning). Which rarely happens because it mostly is on things for the house because a change of decor or something like that. Whatever is left is savings. We know we have the money but we also have plans for it. And in case of an emergency we can use that too. The kids get what they need as soon as they need it. It has worked for us until now. We don't limit each other because we know we both worked hard for the money.
I didn't post this so it will be criticized. I posted it because it is just an example of how one couple manages their income and expenses without needing to have 4 bank accounts. It works for us and that's all that matters. It's whatever works for both of you as a couple.
We both like to participate in our expenses because it concerns our family's financial stability and future.
Ha my union ex wouldn't let me see the finances till he charged $35k and we had to file bankruptcy. Girl you better find out what the hell is going on NOW!
Both people should be involved in the finances; both of you are effected so it's very important. Both spouses should know the status of bills, the family savings and investments, and debts. Basically y'all should at least know about all the things collectors can come after both of y'all for. If there are any separate personal savings and investments, each person doesn't need to know how much is in the other person's account; there's no need to lie about having the accounts though. Do what works for your household; be smart, be fair, and protect your stability. Some people in these comments feel that because she technically isn't earning their money that it's not her place but I don't agree; they are married and they live together. Her financial security and the security of their home unit are on the line; it's absolutely her business. Don't get married if you don't want to act like you're a part of a team. That sounds like a red flag to me and a serious discussion needs to be had. This is how tragedies happen and spouses are left to discover they have nothing at the worst time.
We're not married yet but my boyfriend and I live together so we combine our finances a little bit for the bills. We each have separate checking and savings accounts. I manage the bills and the house budget ; he's still learning and I have a knack for it so it made sense. We each manage our own savings and student debts. He's aware of what our mutual living expenses cost in advance; I show him the budget every month and the breakdown of what we both owe. I charge both of our portions of each bill to our separate cards. I send him the email confirmations for every payment and he knows the passwords for the mutual accounts. We have a verbal agreement that the use of his card for bills must be spent on the bills and I always honor that; we have built our strong sense of trust that allows this method to work without stress on us. We don't expect anyone to hand over money without legal protection; if you're going to do this I recommend writing up a contract and going through any channels to verify legal validity. When we get married, we'll be using the 4 account method Steve talks about.
My husband and I have exactly that he loans money to people and buys watches with his allowance and I travel and buy clothes with mine no one gets upset and even though I make more are spending allowance has always been the equal
A man who works and pays the bills may not want his wife having access to the money since he is basically in control financially and manages everything. Then if she wants money she also has to work for it, if that is the situation. I don't see how you can maintain a healthy relationship when both partners don't know the status of the budget and savings though. Communication is key.
Ravenex2 Wrong
@@BijinMCMXC I'm pointing out that an individual may be controlling over the finances if he doesn't trust his partner in handling money or if they don't bring anything in. But I also said both parties should know where they stand economically. I really posed a possible situation and not a fact, so what's wrong? Cause there are certainly cases like that. Get off my thread if you won't be specific with what you disagree with.
I'm taking Steve's advice.
Thanks Uncle Steve!
That’s a BRIGHT RED FLAG 🚩
Whoever is best with money.
I agree with Steve!
Finally, a question that makes sense.
...but she's a stay-at-home mom and she doesn't have any income coming in to contribute to her own bank account, or the joint accounts. Oh, well, I guess she could put her allowance in it :/
Her job is the childcare, if she was at work they would have to pay childcare so she is contributing by saving £££ for childcare. Her role as stay at home mom still needs to be recognised and acknowledged.
louise scott I agree. Recognized. Acknowledged. And compensated too. She deserves to have a little money for herself.
I'm really messed up on this one. I don't run the finances, he handles them. The only income I bring in is my disability from chronic migraines and debilitating tinnitus. I don't have an "allowance". I try not to spend anything.
Barbie It is not so much about who handles them, but communicating about them. Both parties bring their desires, dreams, and goals to the table and both participate in the planning on how to accomplish them.
lol
girl: i dont know anything about finance
guy: he cheating on you
lol
Read Proverbs 31! Describes a woman’s responsibility in finance, the property ownership, parenting etc. a woman has a huuuge part in all this.
No
Beautiful lady, she looks like a good wife material
If the other person doesn't work and make money they they don't get to ask those questions. If the bills are paid and you have somewhere to live then don't worry about it.
You’re delusional. A marriage is a partnership. You’re a team, whether you both work or one parent stays at home. Both ppl could be working but if you both decide one spouse is staying at home, it shouldn’t invalidate their contribution to the marriage. She’s entitled to know wtf is going on financially and they should both make the decisions together. Ppl like u who don’t understand that have no business getting married.
if you im my office its already too late??? whel doesnt that mean that the time im spending in his office and the money is a big waste? why spend the money it its already too late,doesnt he want costumers in the office???
I have the right to know whatever the hell I want lol.
He and her also need to know her monetary contribution -worth. Tally up what it costs for a housekeeper,childcare, shopper/chef etc ..’ don’t forget the hassle of these hired hands coming and going in your life. 24/7 btw.
4 bank accounts, 4 different deduction! crazy tax plan!!
Her husband might feel like she needs to contribute financially if she wants a say about the finances.
So they can be in a ton of debt and she has no income and no idea 😳
Don’t agree, one account is everything you need.
You want to buy a gift for him/her just go and purchase a gift cards and with gift cards you can buy whatever you want and he will no find out before then he gets a gift
SPILLING THE GOSPEL TRUTH!
Learn from the mistakes of New Jersey housewife Teresa Guidice: All women need to know what is going on financially, to avoid being blindsided by bankruptcies that they didn't see coming.
Dumb questions exist
Did this guy just say "buy a birthday present from a join bank account wtf" ?
I DON’T CARE WE NOT DOING A JOINT ACCOUNT SO YOU CAN JUMP BAD AND LEAVE ME WITH NOTHING. I’m sorry I don’t believe in having a joint account. I’ve seen it happen; my cousin left his wife with the house 3 months behind AND took all the money out of the account AND custody of their 2 daughters smh NO YOU NOT ABOUT TO LEAVE ME DESTITUTE screw that crap. IM PROTECTING MYSELF
If a woman wants to know how much a man earns, run - it is none of her business
She can’t get her own account because she’s jobless until her kids get old enough to care for themselves
My grandma couldn’t even write a Cheque when my grandpa died their bank froze their account it took months to get it straighten out .
So, is nobody going to address the fact that she's a stay at home mom? Yes, it's a job, but it's a job that doesn't make any monetary income. Her knowing nothing about the finances probably makes more sense at this point. This 4 bank account thing may be harder if she's the one going to have to ask her husband to not only tell her about the finances, but also to tell him how she wants him to split up his paycheck. I'm just saying.
Knowing nothing is not an option; ignorance isn't bliss esp if she's not earning. She's putting herself in a powerless position here.
Basically she needs to get a job if she wants some input on the finances.
She kinda look like the girl from the Spider-Man movie
This is why older men marry younger women. It's much easier to control everything when she has less life experiences.
Regardless, in every relationship there's someone who is better at financial planning. In my marriage that's me, in others I know, it's the wife. Whoever that is, they need to know all of the balances. They don't need to see every transaction, but they need to be able to see trends and predict needs based on those trends. You can't plan anything without that information.
Who is James now?? 🤨 A divorce lawyer and author. He has no ring on his vinger and therefore not married. A divorce lawyer who makes money off of those who acted stupid and got married for all the wrong reasons.
If you have 4 bank accounts, then you're rich.. what about broke people.
Muhammad Forde It is not about how much money you make, but how you prioritize that money. This system can work but with smaller amounts in the beginning. As your income increases you can increase your savings and allowances. At one time I only got 25 bucks a month for an allowance. But I got it consistently. As our income grew so did our allowances.
sassyspoiled that's just sad.. smh
firist 20 comment
This is sad and embarrassing. You are a grown woman how come you don’t know anything about the household finances. Marriage is partnership and requires full honesty.
When Steve said allowances she smiled... ew
I was with steve until he said HE gives HER an ALLOWANCE. No, my bank account will be for me from MY JOB and he can have a bank account for himself with the money from his job and we will have a joint account. 4 accounts is for rich people lol Even if my husband makes more, hes not giving me an allowance. Im too prideful for that.
Elisha B don't u think there should be a joint account for bills, two checking accounts, and two savings accounts?
Elisha B I agree and don't at the same time I'm a sahm and in order to to do that we budget and we both get an allowance every two weeks
Millie I feel you. I don't like when adults use the term "allowance." It has a bit of a negative connotation to it.
MrGodismypower I don't think it does its the money we get to spend how we see fit on whatever we want and those items aren't necessary to our survival and the money could most definetly be put in a savings acct or something more productive we allow ourselves to spend it on items we want
This is where I disagree
Nope! Nope! Nope! Always know what’s going on! And she also needs to have her own rainy day account. The idea of not protecting yourself, and your children..is too 1950s for this day and age. He could leave the house tomorrow..and never come back. Then what? Men die, they leave..and mostly, they just change their minds!
My wife and I have 4 bank account, one for the kids saving, one for me and one for my wife and one for the bills. Plus we are very open with our finance. We all have access to each others accounts. Marriage is team work
😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😂😂😂😂🤣🤣
That’s great
This is a great strategy honestly
Spot on perfect where do I sign ❤️❤️❤️x
I agree. Same here. We are so open and transparent with the money. So if anything happens we can all still sort out the household and kids
I appreciate Steve tryin to help prevent divorce in people's marriages 👏. Thts dope
I would think her husband would be more open about the finances tho . . #weird #scary I hope she finds a way to talk with her husband and i hope he'll be receptive.
Having 4 accounts isn’t a bad idea and I’m single.For the people saying it’s for rich people obviously don’t know how to budget their money! It doesn’t have to be large sum in the account but put something away each month. You’ll be surprised how much money you can save in 6 months.
The money system that Steve & his wife hav is a great idea
Um we talking about Steve Harvey’s world here talking about 4 bank acct? I don’t even have enough money to keep this 1 bank acct Steve, play too much fr fr. 🤣😂
Molika Men-Thlang Exactly 😂
Ummm, you haven’t met the right person yet. 😉
Why does Steve calls the experts on his show if he wants to give advice to the audience?
Me too
😂😂😂
Hmmm. My husband and I have 4 accounts: his, mine, 2 joint accounts (bills and savings). It is helpful because we both feel independent and in control of our finances.
However, her situation might be a bit different because she is a stay at home mom and most probably, the husband is the breadwinner. Not hating on her because I know that her services to her family would be a fortune if paid to someone else. However, I personally think that losing your own income is both dangerous and disadvantageous to your self worth. Whether you like it or not, money is power in a relationship. It's difficult to feel equal if you have to ask someone to buy deodorant or even an eye liner. Also, being able to have control over ones finances gives one the feeling of self appreciation. Personally, i dont think i could ever let myself be that vulnerable.
Why do people come on here and put their business on national television 📺?
How shall I say to my husband that I want to have insight in our finances? Well he'll see it on tv.
I agree with you sir, my dad was very rich and was very secretive. He died and my mother didn't even know anything about his finance till today. He died when I was 9yrs old and I'm 30years now and we still haven't found out where his money was
4 bank accounts?!!! Steve thats rich people advice and problems😬
vanessa copland Anyone can have 4 bank accounts. 1. checking 2. savings 3. Rainy day fund 4. Under the matress
exactly. Hell, I'm single and used to have multiple accounts (and not much money in them LOL) but still.
You just got to know how to manage money. That’s smart advice. Again you ain’t got to have a lot in there. But build it up overtime
vanessa copland That's not true I'm single and I have 3 accounts and since I'm still in college there's not a lot in them but I still have a spending, savings, and in case of emergency account. You just have to know how to manage your finances.
No it isn't - didn't you hear Steve say even if you only save $30 per month?
The girl @ 3:13 lmao
hahah I was just gonna write that lol
STEVE I DISAGREE ME AND MY WIFE SHARE 1ACCT CHECKING,SAVINGS SHE HAS A CREDIT UNION ACCT I CANT BE ON and I have an acct at same bank we share an acct what goes in my acct she KNOWS what goes in her credit union acct I know that acct is mainly for the house repairs I pay everything her credit union acct is what it is.
There is NO CONTROL IN OUR MARRIAGE
dave ramsy said you should only have one bank account everything is combined, Dr phil said his wife deal with all the money
There is nothing wrong with one person dealing with all the money, as long as you can check on it, say i do the bills, wife could walk up and say can we have a mouthy meeting to see how think are going, sure, here all bill paid, how much in checking, 401k IRA, here money in stock, here are credit score. he money in saving, everything you need.
This is my dad ...my mum said don't sit and just feed off of your man ...work !if not make sure he gives you cash to manage
That mic girl is hot AF.
bet the kelly clarkson show isn't putting on shows like this that are giving out valuable advice like this
As a man I can't believe this!. She's have no knowledge of what going on in the household finances, that man has no respect for her or something not right.
The prblm with many Men donot bother to talk abt their bank act. is bcox they find it difficult to explain the dtls. ...& it's not always the case of men being involved in extra marital affairs
If the wife is a stay at home wife, then it's all his money...
Every couple should know their financial circumstances‼️ Ladies don’t be foolish. Set these boundaries from day one👍🏼
I learned from my folks to have separate bank accounts because they have joint accounts. Everyone... EVERYONE... should have their own bank accounts with their own emergency money. Anything can happen. My husband and I do not fight about finances... we have a spreadsheet of our joint expenses with our running balances of personal accounts... each month we go through it, make sure we've shared expenses equally or to see if we've spent too much in an area and create a budget for the next month. Once a year we share with each other our investment/retirement totals. It keeps us both accountable and responsible with our finances.
She feels something is not right. She looks really upset. I hope she gets the info she needs.
I say get a job and help out and you'll know what's going on and help with the kids college fund
It must be nice to make enough money to be able to put money into 4 different accounts. I'm broke by the time the check hits the bank.
Agreed fantastic yes was going a bit...you checky cbkipbkeep tut Fu 🤣
That's Black peo what are you on about???!!
The fact that you just said if she buys her husband a birthday present, it’s like the husband bought himself a birthday present is so stupid and so selfish thought wise to buy your spouse a birthday present or Christmas present. There’s nothing wrong with that I come from a Catholic family.
I’m not allowed to have any joint bank accounts with other people even if I someday decide to get married because I have a disability the only joint checking account I am allowed to have with anybody is my family
He is right. Women need to know what is going on for many reasons.
Great tips
So sad. She needs to be involved in the finance god forbid he dies she knows nothing. Gosh is irresponsible for one person to control the money
😒 nope to much paper trail Steve. I pretty much do the same but in safe not bank's
You must have an open talk about $ and things in their relationship. Without communication there’s no relationship. My opinion 🤷🏻♀️it takes 2 lady.
Plus you need to know what he’s making first and don’t take his word for it too. Proof
1 joint, 1 mine, 1 hers, 1 for my side chick
Share that responsibility - both inputs are critical.
She’s being foolish.
Some men are wicked...
Was Steve said about these for bank accounts makes no sense. In this situation he's making all the money so of course is beneficial to his wife to have a situation like that. But if you had a woman that was making the majority of the money it will be hard for her to agree to something like that because women tend to make sense when it comes to money. So if you had a woman making millions of dollars and the man was a stay-at-home man but they going to split the money evenly and the other person can't ask where the money is being spent I don't see that happening at all
You don't know anything about your finances???? That's scary. Hell I want to know and just the basic but everything
This woman is incredibly gorgeous. Her husband looks like a lucky man.
Love your answer Steve;however no said anything about how she handles the war...when he reacts negatively to all that was said?
One question that someone should have asked Jimmy is who was his "favorite" nun!
So the 2 primary reasons people get divorced money and sex, and not necessarily in that order, as sometimes it could be one thing only. So simply put it comes down to not enough sex and or not enough money are the 2 primary reasons people get divorced. Cheers!🥂