Very Insightful, keep this series going. So relatable, I am like this and my partner is exactly the opposite. He is happy even when the world around him falls apart. This brings lot of friction between us, I can never be happy and he is never unhappy and I am like how can someone be like this. I could not listen to this Video in one go, it triggered thoughts of everything I feel and had to take a break. Escapism is also one of the things I do as a cope up mechanism from all these thoughts and emotions, either binge watching online videos or just browsing shopping sites, these have become a pattern😢
Can you make a video about Maladaptive Daydreaming and also about ADHD in adults? It's a very crippling condition that's destroying my life in every aspect.
I understand your concern. Try to access a therapist. Or try to make a good friend or connection where you could vent. Probably the person who is doing this to you is either very frustrated or has a personality disorder such as narcissistic personality disorder. Also could be that the person takes you for granted cuz of the power dynamic. ( like parent-child) If you are a student. Focus on academic and channelize the disappointments to strength. Keep doing self care. Make sure you don’t self sabotage.
Viya, this is so so so relevant and you have done justice to the explanation of the link between shame, trauma, pressure build to perfectionism syndrome and the role of toxic parenting in all of this. Please do a sequel to this vid and add stress eating and other forms of additictions as gratification disorders that result from toxic parenting and trauma
I don't know how you are very much relatable to me.. Surprisingly, Today I have had a conversation with my boyfriend and had identified what makes me always unhappy is the perfectionism.Dunno what a coincidence is this. when I watched this video I am super happy,cuz it's relatable to me and address my issues well. Thank you for helping ❤
Thank you so much for addressing this..i am someone who grown up with a strict parent..and recently i realised I am also having a toxic perfectionism..it made me hold back from doing things i love.. like I am person who loves to sing and draw and write..but I could never attempt because of this kind of thoughts where I want to do it in a perfect way and wait for a perfect time to start..but end up doing nothing..but stillnot clear about how to overcome this..
Wow....now only i realised i was healing in the past 2 years...and the thing (sitting and thinking all the experience and crying on it) i used to do it for two years continuously not because i had a lot of free time, but i felt more free after the crying. And now i cry very little. Before i used to cry maybe 3 times in a week and my one crying took 2-4 hours. But now it's been 3-4 months since I've cried. WOW to me 🌝 Amd the shame thing. Yes i was shamed for many things. Still I'm being shamed. And i have a mask/shield surrounding me to defend myself in my own way. But all this realisation came after seeing this video. And my friend always used to say that (still saying) ypu have been traumatized by something to protect yourself behind the shield. Thankyou Viya ❤
Thank you very helpful video. I could clearly understand what i am going through. I also didnt get proper help from a therapist. I am still trying to heal my trauma
Good topic. It's good that we have a space for malayalees to talk about these stuff. I always have this tendancy to criticise videosmof youtubers like you (Which is my kind of perfectionism which could be coming from my own frustrations and me projecting on random internet personalities) I should be more empathetic and kind to myself first that I do not project it on people trying to do good things even if they make small mistakes.
Thank you❤️❤️ Perfectionism & Procastination ഇതിന്റെ connection എനിക്ക് അറിയില്ലായിരുന്നു. ഞാൻ ഇങ്ങനെയാണ്. ഇതാണ്. എന്താ പറയേണ്ടേ എന്നറിയില്ല... പിന്നേ perfectionist ആകാൻ ശ്രമിക്കുന്നില്ല. Therapist work ആകാത്തത് എന്റെ കുറ്റം ആണെന്നാണ് ഞാൻ വിചാരിച്ചിരുന്നത്. പിന്നെ സ്വയം ആണ് heal ചെയ്യേണ്ടത് എന്ന് തോന്നിയിരുന്നു എങ്കിലും ഇപ്പോഴാണ് ഒരു ധൈര്യം തോന്നുന്നത്. Thank uu Viya ❤❤
18:30 ayyo satyam.. etra intersting topic aanu vaayikkan irunnatenkilum mind muzhuvan house clean cheyyanm ennarikum. At the end of the day, padithavum nadakkilla house cleaning um nadakkilla. Next day again ith thanne avasta..😢
Ihope you’ll read this comment im writing this while pausing this vedio because it’s highly relatable and enlightening please continue this series with different types of trauma responses❤️
I am a UPSC Aspirant. I have been watching your videos since I started my preparation. To be frank, they have helped me grow personally. Thanks a lot sis.. Once I clear the exam, would love to do a video with you... ❤...
Its so sad that even after reaching where u wanted to be in life, we cant enjoy the happiness. As a perfectionist, i completely agree to what u said throughout
Thankyou viya for this video... Even I realised it very recently that my fear to fail doing something perfectly is causing procastination and even I have always faced a parenting style where only the mistakes are pointed out more than appreciating what we did...but I am now trying to work on it without being hard on my mom and realising now its my responsibility to get out of that loop... it is always good to know there are people who feels simillar to what we feel and your experience and the experience that everyone shares in comment section could make that acceptance of our own problems much easier. ❤
@@mitham.p.4362 I still haven't reached to a stage where I could give you suggestions on this, because I am still trying to work on it. But what I am practicing are these, - I feel there will be people around us who point out our mistakes only. Understand that we can't change anyone's mindset even if it hurts us (I have already spent years in doing that, but no change happened), so ignore it. Don't spend your energy and time on thinking about it, insted work on our goals and self growth. That thought itself is giving me a peaceful mind. - Changing procrastination with just one day may not be possible, but focus on each single day's tasks. Make sure at end of the day we are doing something productive for all the habits we are trying to grow in. - Eg: If we are trying to develop the habit of doing exercise everyday, try doing it continuously from day 1, no matter how less time are you allocating for that. At any cost we should make sure that we are doing it daily. It will make ourselves feel better and trust better. Believe that, even if we skip it for just one day initially, we will automatically come back to the thought like 'I have gone out of perfection so I will give up on this and what is the point of continuing it further'. So consistently do it daily until we ourselves get that flexibility to think out of that perfection related thought.
@@mitham.p.4362 I still haven't reached to a point where I could give you suggestions on this. But what I can say is, - There will be people around us who can only point out mistakes in our actions. Understand that we can't change anyone's mindset, even if it hurts us ( I have spent years of effort for that but it made no change). We can talk but we can't insist. So just 'ignore' it. Don't give too much effort and time to think about that, instead work on our goals, habits and self growth. - Keep consistently (everyday) put little by little efforts on the habits that you wish to develop. - Eg: If we wish to develop the habit of doing exercise daily, make sure we are doing it from day 1, no matter how much less time we are allocating for that. At any cost make sure that you are not skipping it. Eventually it will give us happiness and a sense of trust in ourselves. Even if we skip it for one day initially, we will fall back to the perfection- procrastination thought, 'I skipped it, I went out of perfection so what is the point of continuing it further'. So keep consistently do it, until we reach a flexibility to take such perfection related thought more easily.
@@mitham.p.4362 I still haven't reached to a point where I could give you suggestions on this. But what I can say is, - There will be people around us who can only point out mistakes in our actions. Understand that we can't change anyone's mindset, even if it hurts us ( I have spent years of effort for that but it made no change). We can talk but we can't insist. So just 'ignore' it. Don't give too much effort and time to think about that, instead work on our goals, habits and self growth. - Keep consistently put little by little efforts on the habits that you wish to develop. - Eg: If we wish to develop the habit of doing exercise daily, make sure we are doing it from day 1, no matter how much less time we are allocating for that. At any cost make sure that you are not skipping that. Eventually it will give us happiness and a sense of trust in ourselves. Even if we skip it for one day initially, we will automatically fall back to the perfection- procrastination thought, 'I skipped it, I went out of perfection so what is the point of continuing it further'. So keep consistently doing it, until we reach a flexibility to take such perfection related thoughts more easily.
I can really relate to you viya... In lots of senses, I can really connect ur things. U can really explain it since you know even the right word for those feelings...! I too have this perfectionism and that's why I am unhappy for things even if I'm so blessed in life...!! Thanks for these kinds of videos and please do these kinds of videos which are more personal...❤❤❤
Viya, it was a great video. For me, most of them are true. Especially to cook, I want the kitchen to be super clean, likewise to take a shower the washroom to be clean, sometimes to do something on laptop I might be busy organizing files there😢 at work doing a presentation OMG terrible, everyone wil say it's superb but my mind wants the extreme perfection😢 I'm a Christian believer, so my faith, practicing Gratefulness, opening up to the closest ones, are the real things I do often. Also, disciplining my mind that, its OK to go with little mess to cook or getting ready etc.. and we can clean later.. talking to ourselves is very good solution. Above all, to have atleast couple of very good people around you- like they might be reachable to you is the greatest blessing in this journey ❤ Much Love Viya, keep going on ❤❤❤❤
Hello Viya,I could totally relate to whatever you have said and i recently got diagnosed with OCPD (Obessive Compulsive Personality Disorder) and its often gets undiagnosed because the traits are often looked upto by society but then it beceomes a problem after a point and thats when it becomes a personality disorder.And this is a very less discussed disorder and people generally get it confused with OCD, but both are completely different disorders though.
It’s a great topic to discuss, thanks. I have some concerns about this. Healing from trauma or grief is not an easy one. It's better to do it with professional help than alone or partner/friend’s help. I know it is difficult to get a compatible therapist, try some and find the one that suits you. There is always a limit for a friend/partner to direct you in this, sometimes it affects them also. What I have seen is, professionals will clearly explain how the healing process goes and what we are going to achieve. Both have to work together in that process.
What should I do after crying out the shame? I've done this earlier but it's not knowing it as healing method. I got relief after doing but it didn't go away or lost its effect.. I still get tears when I think about it.. And another surprise for me is how powerful is our memories are especially about such negative feels it can dig deeper and remember a tiniest things that affected and also with clarity
Nice good ❤ ur video topics oke nik ishtam anu, kurach variety anu, and connect cheyan patum. Ithpole ulla topicsil open ayit personal experiences vach ellarum video cheyan willing akila. And oru close friend experience share cheyuna feel anu ❤
I dont know how to Thank you for making this video . I can relate to every tiny things you have said . Im struggling with this perfectionism and procrastination loop , its taking all of my time and energy and also making me so unhappy and dissatisfied with my life . This channel helped me a lott to discover myself . I really wish to meet you one day 🫂❤!
could you please make a video on maladaptive daydreaming👩🦯iam suffering from that...and i cant afford a therapy...so self healing is the only option..
Viya, this video is for me.. Am a perfectionist lady...e behaviour karanam nalla reethil procrastination und.. Kurch karyghal cheyth complete cheythale gym l poku enn theerumanichu.. Agane... Njn 80% karyghal cheyth theerth kazhynjapo 4 months n shesham njn gym l join cheythu... Thats ma story
Enik ഉള്ള trauma entha ennu njan identify cheyththe.. എനിക്ക് not worthy ആണെന്ന് thonnarund.. from partner from some people...njan oru back up plan aano ennoru doubt thonni thudangi. Aalukal reach me for any help or benefit..ath kazhinjal i feel like i am invisible..kure ayit angane aanu..oru option aanennu feeling.. prove cheyyan onnum thonnunnillla. But oru contentment illa..entha cheyya ennum അറിയില്ല.athond trust issues varunnu. Enne approach cheyunna aalukal ath aaru aayalum ente benefit edukkan aanenn thonnal... i doono what to do for overcoming it
എനിക്ക് shame നേരിട്ടത് കൂടുതലും ഉമ്മയിൽ നിന്നാണ്.. 37 വയസ്സുണ്ട്. ജീവിതം ദുരന്തമായിരുന്നു.. ഡിവോഴ്സ്ഡ് ആണ്.. ഇപ്പോഴും ഉമ്മ എന്നെ micromange ചെയ്തുകൊണ്ടിരിക്കുന്നു. ഉപ്പ പണ്ട് ഇങ്ങനെ ആയിരുന്നില്ല. ഉമ്മയുടെ influence കാരണം ഉപ്പയും എന്നെ micromanage ചെയ്തു കൊണ്ടിരിക്കുന്നു..
Before the video i actually my thoughts is not perfect time for watch this video I don't know why I am think like that And procrastinate Some hours and watch It's feel good actually Same topic I want to know I am thinking It's my problem Thank you lot And I want more content Like this video your so deep thinker my opinion is don't Understand life very very deep Just take some steps and make your life regret less after any bad feelings you understand the movement may be Iam worng thing is saying but don't take bad way don't forget to change my thoughts
Viya please hear my story if you have time... I struggle with my studies since 2017, and iam so sad about it.... The reason is i have trauma with it.... I was studying for my plus one model exams in February 2017 , at the very first day of my exam, my brother committed suicide...and that night i slept early bcoz i had exam tomorrow..after that incident i had regret which consumes even till now is that i slept early to get up early to study next morning, if i didn't sleep that night, i could have save my brother ...this thought was killing me since that day....even now i am struggling, but i have a big dream to achieve but i cant put in the work...its depressing...😢
Viya i am struggling with procrastination.. I can't complete any task. I am very disappointed. I don't know its laziness. I have no goal and i have no focus🥺.
Very well done Viya🫂❤️... But oru karyam on parayanam en thoni.... Viya paranja therapist inte aduth aalde videos um karyngalm okke kand njnm poitharnu.... But I had a very bad experience session inte edel rand muun thavana aalde staff thanne interrupt chythu.... Rand thavana water inu vendi ayirn adhkond it was fine.... But pne oru call kodkan veendum vannu.... I thought important call ayirkm athavum session inte edel attend chyunath but nah etho almarah modify chyanenteyo adhil ntho work chyanentayo karyam ayirno samsarichond irunne....oru session inte idayil vech call chyth casual talk itu chirchond irikunnu... I felt really bad., adhum njn avarod nta pain explain chyanenta idayil... Sherikkm karachil vannu enik.... Apathanne enik vent out chyan uncomfortable aay... Also session start akiyapol I was explaining myself, nta childhood ile traumas and all because enik thoni maybe adhum kuude therapist arinjal maybe enne nanayt mansilakanum help akanum patum en.... Njn adh explain chyanenta edel she interrupted and asked " idhokke nthaaa? Ippa nthina vannath en pry" I was shattered dude adhyam she should listen... Enik nta traumas present life ine nanayt affect akunu en thoni apo adhine paty avark mansilay enne help akam en thoni prnjapol prnjathan idhoke... I don't think avare oru nalla therapist en vilikaan enik patum en... And I think aaal ee videos iloke mathrame nallath en olu... Normal ppl inodoke ee oru level of interaction ahnen thonunu... If she is that passionate and sincere towards this field she wouldn't have done that.... 🙌🏻 Anyways Viya thank you so much❤️🫂
I tend to use the words 'sorry' and 'Thank you' a lot.. എനിക്ക് അറിയില്ല ഞാൻ അതെവിടുന്നാ പഠിച്ചേ എന്ന്.. But once one of my friend told me I'm people pleasing and don't say sorry / thank you all the time, even for simple things.. Still എന്റെ സ്വഭാവം മാറിയിട്ടില്ല.. But now, whenever i say sorry /thank you, i feel so uncomfortable.. Like i think multiple time 'was that relevant'?? I mean, പറഞ്ഞു കഴിഞ്ഞിട്ട് ഞാൻ silently ചിന്തിക്കും 'ഞാൻ ഇപ്പൊ എന്തിനാ സോറി പറഞ്ഞെ..ഈ ചെറിയ കാര്യങ്ങൾക്കൊക്കെ താങ്ക് യു പറഞ്ഞു ഫോർമൽ ആകണോ ' എന്നൊക്കെ..! Can u please help me to understand whether I'm doing right or wrong 😔 Can u do a video on this topic?? Please chechi❤️ No problem if you show my comment on your video also.. I badly want a solution from right source.
Parayade erikan thonunilla really amazing topics aan toh valare useful aan oronnum Oru close friend ayi thanne kitiyengil enn thonipowarund Enik ente oru karyam chodikanum und contact option patumengil tharanam . Love ❤
10:47 ok ningalude perfectionism manassilakkunnu Sorry to say njanayirunnu chodichirunne kazhinja video mukkiyonn 😁 Ningalude aa videoile points nod viyojippundayirunnu
👉Hi viya, good 1. I hav few suggestions wen u do videos other than reel reaction. It wud b good, if u cud research more on such topics & present to the point, by enumerating main points & detailing on those. Bcoz I feel sometyms, the topic drifts off track & less of correlation btw points of a subject & less of take away from the whole video. Pls consider if possible❤.
Vtl nn hostel lek maari ninnittu aa enviornment expect cheyyan pattatha situation ne kurich oru video cheyyo... ( Bad gang le k attraction aavunne... Drugs... )
Please make a video about journaling, importance of planing etc
TYSM❤
It's so relatable..and I felt so satisfied that atleast someone is there to address this problem.😊
"Perfectionism kills productivity"
Very Insightful, keep this series going.
So relatable, I am like this and my partner is exactly the opposite. He is happy even when the world around him falls apart. This brings lot of friction between us, I can never be happy and he is never unhappy and I am like how can someone be like this.
I could not listen to this Video in one go, it triggered thoughts of everything I feel and had to take a break. Escapism is also one of the things I do as a cope up mechanism from all these thoughts and emotions, either binge watching online videos or just browsing shopping sites, these have become a pattern😢
Can you make a video about Maladaptive Daydreaming and also about ADHD in adults?
It's a very crippling condition that's destroying my life in every aspect.
Orikkalum sahikkan pattatha karyangal daily kelkkendi varikayum ippo endayalum namukk athil ninn mari nilkkanoo oyinn poknaoo akalcha vekkanoo cheyyan kayiyatha avastha engane tharanam cheyyan pattum???
I understand your concern. Try to access a therapist. Or try to make a good friend or connection where you could vent.
Probably the person who is doing this to you is either very frustrated or has a personality disorder such as narcissistic personality disorder. Also could be that the person takes you for granted cuz of the power dynamic. ( like parent-child)
If you are a student. Focus on academic and channelize the disappointments to strength. Keep doing self care. Make sure you don’t self sabotage.
Viya, this is so so so relevant and you have done justice to the explanation of the link between shame, trauma, pressure build to perfectionism syndrome and the role of toxic parenting in all of this.
Please do a sequel to this vid and add stress eating and other forms of additictions as gratification disorders that result from toxic parenting and trauma
I don't know how you are very much relatable to me.. Surprisingly, Today I have had a conversation with my boyfriend and had identified what makes me always unhappy is the perfectionism.Dunno what a coincidence is this. when I watched this video I am super happy,cuz it's relatable to me and address my issues well.
Thank you for helping ❤
Same
Thanks for sharing!!
Thank you so much for addressing this..i am someone who grown up with a strict parent..and recently i realised I am also having a toxic perfectionism..it made me hold back from doing things i love.. like I am person who loves to sing and draw and write..but I could never attempt because of this kind of thoughts where I want to do it in a perfect way and wait for a perfect time to start..but end up doing nothing..but stillnot clear about how to overcome this..
Wow....now only i realised i was healing in the past 2 years...and the thing (sitting and thinking all the experience and crying on it) i used to do it for two years continuously not because i had a lot of free time, but i felt more free after the crying. And now i cry very little. Before i used to cry maybe 3 times in a week and my one crying took 2-4 hours. But now it's been 3-4 months since I've cried. WOW to me 🌝
Amd the shame thing. Yes i was shamed for many things. Still I'm being shamed. And i have a mask/shield surrounding me to defend myself in my own way. But all this realisation came after seeing this video. And my friend always used to say that (still saying) ypu have been traumatized by something to protect yourself behind the shield.
Thankyou Viya ❤
Thank you very helpful video. I could clearly understand what i am going through.
I also didnt get proper help from a therapist. I am still trying to heal my trauma
Good topic. It's good that we have a space for malayalees to talk about these stuff. I always have this tendancy to criticise videosmof youtubers like you (Which is my kind of perfectionism which could be coming from my own frustrations and me projecting on random internet personalities) I should be more empathetic and kind to myself first that I do not project it on people trying to do good things even if they make small mistakes.
You said it!
@@ViyaMallakara But will still continue to criticise and share my views constructively 😄
Thank you❤️❤️
Perfectionism & Procastination ഇതിന്റെ connection എനിക്ക് അറിയില്ലായിരുന്നു. ഞാൻ ഇങ്ങനെയാണ്. ഇതാണ്. എന്താ പറയേണ്ടേ എന്നറിയില്ല... പിന്നേ perfectionist ആകാൻ ശ്രമിക്കുന്നില്ല. Therapist work ആകാത്തത് എന്റെ കുറ്റം ആണെന്നാണ് ഞാൻ വിചാരിച്ചിരുന്നത്. പിന്നെ സ്വയം ആണ് heal ചെയ്യേണ്ടത് എന്ന് തോന്നിയിരുന്നു എങ്കിലും ഇപ്പോഴാണ് ഒരു ധൈര്യം തോന്നുന്നത്. Thank uu Viya ❤❤
18:30 ayyo satyam.. etra intersting topic aanu vaayikkan irunnatenkilum mind muzhuvan house clean cheyyanm ennarikum. At the end of the day, padithavum nadakkilla house cleaning um nadakkilla. Next day again ith thanne avasta..😢
Ihope you’ll read this comment im writing this while pausing this vedio because it’s highly relatable and enlightening please continue this series with different types of trauma responses❤️
💜
I am a UPSC Aspirant. I have been watching your videos since I started my preparation. To be frank, they have helped me grow personally. Thanks a lot sis.. Once I clear the exam, would love to do a video with you... ❤...
🥰 aww
DM me and keep in touch
@@ViyaMallakara Actually I don't have Instagram... So.. No way to contact you sis.. 🥺
Make a vedio about PTSD which related to childhood trauma
This video is so so relatable🙂. perfectionism is a hell!! And don't know how to get out of it
Thank you viya for choosing this topic.
You got this!
18:20 same problem😢
how to overcome that ...
Like i want to do everything and perfectly but ended up procrastinating..
Its so sad that even after reaching where u wanted to be in life, we cant enjoy the happiness. As a perfectionist, i completely agree to what u said throughout
Thankyou viya for this video... Even I realised it very recently that my fear to fail doing something perfectly is causing procastination and even I have always faced a parenting style where only the mistakes are pointed out more than appreciating what we did...but I am now trying to work on it without being hard on my mom and realising now its my responsibility to get out of that loop... it is always good to know there are people who feels simillar to what we feel and your experience and the experience that everyone shares in comment section could make that acceptance of our own problems much easier. ❤
Heyy, can you say how u are working on it?? I have the same issue and i dont know where to start
@@mitham.p.4362 I still haven't reached to a stage where I could give you suggestions on this, because I am still trying to work on it. But what I am practicing are these,
- I feel there will be people around us who point out our mistakes only. Understand that we can't change anyone's mindset even if it hurts us (I have already spent years in doing that, but no change happened), so ignore it. Don't spend your energy and time on thinking about it, insted work on our goals and self growth. That thought itself is giving me a peaceful mind.
- Changing procrastination with just one day may not be possible, but focus on each single day's tasks. Make sure at end of the day we are doing something productive for all the habits we are trying to grow in.
- Eg: If we are trying to develop the habit of doing exercise everyday, try doing it continuously from day 1, no matter how less time are you allocating for that. At any cost we should make sure that we are doing it daily. It will make ourselves feel better and trust better. Believe that, even if we skip it for just one day initially, we will automatically come back to the thought like 'I have gone out of perfection so I will give up on this and what is the point of continuing it further'. So consistently do it daily until we ourselves get that flexibility to think out of that perfection related thought.
@@mitham.p.4362 I still haven't reached to a point where I could give you suggestions on this. But what I can say is,
- There will be people around us who can only point out mistakes in our actions. Understand that we can't change anyone's mindset, even if it hurts us ( I have spent years of effort for that but it made no change). We can talk but we can't insist. So just 'ignore' it. Don't give too much effort and time to think about that, instead work on our goals, habits and self growth.
- Keep consistently (everyday) put little by little efforts on the habits that you wish to develop.
- Eg: If we wish to develop the habit of doing exercise daily, make sure we are doing it from day 1, no matter how much less time we are allocating for that. At any cost make sure that you are not skipping it. Eventually it will give us happiness and a sense of trust in ourselves. Even if we skip it for one day initially, we will fall back to the perfection- procrastination thought, 'I skipped it, I went out of perfection so what is the point of continuing it further'. So keep consistently do it, until we reach a flexibility to take such perfection related thought more easily.
@@mitham.p.4362
I still haven't reached to a point where I could give you suggestions on this. But what I can say is,
- There will be people around us who can only point out mistakes in our actions. Understand that we can't change anyone's mindset, even if it hurts us ( I have spent years of effort for that but it made no change). We can talk but we can't insist. So just 'ignore' it. Don't give too much effort and time to think about that, instead work on our goals, habits and self growth.
- Keep consistently put little by little efforts on the habits that you wish to develop.
- Eg: If we wish to develop the habit of doing exercise daily, make sure we are doing it from day 1, no matter how much less time we are allocating for that. At any cost make sure that you are not skipping that. Eventually it will give us happiness and a sense of trust in ourselves. Even if we skip it for one day initially, we will automatically fall back to the perfection- procrastination thought, 'I skipped it, I went out of perfection so what is the point of continuing it further'. So keep consistently doing it, until we reach a flexibility to take such perfection related thoughts more easily.
I can really relate to you viya... In lots of senses, I can really connect ur things. U can really explain it since you know even the right word for those feelings...! I too have this perfectionism and that's why I am unhappy for things even if I'm so blessed in life...!! Thanks for these kinds of videos and please do these kinds of videos which are more personal...❤❤❤
Glad to hear that
Viya, it was a great video.
For me, most of them are true. Especially to cook, I want the kitchen to be super clean, likewise to take a shower the washroom to be clean, sometimes to do something on laptop I might be busy organizing files there😢 at work doing a presentation OMG terrible, everyone wil say it's superb but my mind wants the extreme perfection😢 I'm a Christian believer, so my faith, practicing Gratefulness, opening up to the closest ones, are the real things I do often. Also, disciplining my mind that, its OK to go with little mess to cook or getting ready etc.. and we can clean later.. talking to ourselves is very good solution. Above all, to have atleast couple of very good people around you- like they might be reachable to you is the greatest blessing in this journey ❤ Much Love Viya, keep going on ❤❤❤❤
Hi viya...this is what i am going through since long time even without recognizing it...😢 i too an unhappy perfectionist 😢
Hello Viya,I could totally relate to whatever you have said and i recently got diagnosed with OCPD (Obessive Compulsive Personality Disorder) and its often gets undiagnosed because the traits are often looked upto by society but then it beceomes a problem after a point and thats when it becomes a personality disorder.And this is a very less discussed disorder and people generally get it confused with OCD, but both are completely different disorders though.
Really thankful for this 😢❤
It’s a great topic to discuss, thanks. I have some concerns about this. Healing from trauma or grief is not an easy one. It's better to do it with professional help than alone or partner/friend’s help. I know it is difficult to get a compatible therapist, try some and find the one that suits you. There is always a limit for a friend/partner to direct you in this, sometimes it affects them also. What I have seen is, professionals will clearly explain how the healing process goes and what we are going to achieve. Both have to work together in that process.
hai Viya "i am with Dhanya varma" show il Swathi Jagdish "Feminine Masculine" traits ne patti parayunnund. Can you please share your opinion on that.
Yup
Finally!!!!!! I was waiting for this.... Need more videos and coping methods ❤
What should I do after crying out the shame? I've done this earlier but it's not knowing it as healing method. I got relief after doing but it didn't go away or lost its effect.. I still get tears when I think about it.. And another surprise for me is how powerful is our memories are especially about such negative feels it can dig deeper and remember a tiniest things that affected and also with clarity
Nice good ❤ ur video topics oke nik ishtam anu, kurach variety anu, and connect cheyan patum. Ithpole ulla topicsil open ayit personal experiences vach ellarum video cheyan willing akila. And oru close friend experience share cheyuna feel anu ❤
I dont know how to Thank you for making this video . I can relate to every tiny things you have said . Im struggling with this perfectionism and procrastination loop , its taking all of my time and energy and also making me so unhappy and dissatisfied with my life . This channel helped me a lott to discover myself . I really wish to meet you one day 🫂❤!
You are so welcome
*no one can replace viya💯🔥*
could you please make a video on maladaptive daydreaming👩🦯iam suffering from that...and i cant afford a therapy...so self healing is the only option..
I grow through your video thanku you♥️
Viya, this video is for me.. Am a perfectionist lady...e behaviour karanam nalla reethil procrastination und.. Kurch karyghal cheyth complete cheythale gym l poku enn theerumanichu.. Agane... Njn 80% karyghal cheyth theerth kazhynjapo 4 months n shesham njn gym l join cheythu... Thats ma story
I waited so much for this video..😢
Thanks a lot..
Most welcome
Enik ഉള്ള trauma entha ennu njan identify cheyththe.. എനിക്ക് not worthy ആണെന്ന് thonnarund.. from partner from some people...njan oru back up plan aano ennoru doubt thonni thudangi. Aalukal reach me for any help or benefit..ath kazhinjal i feel like i am invisible..kure ayit angane aanu..oru option aanennu feeling.. prove cheyyan onnum thonnunnillla. But oru contentment illa..entha cheyya ennum അറിയില്ല.athond trust issues varunnu. Enne approach cheyunna aalukal ath aaru aayalum ente benefit edukkan aanenn thonnal... i doono what to do for overcoming it
May be we seek the other half of us from others , i think we should work on self love to fulfill the other half
@@GrowingSoul-x1c ath engane thudanganam ennu ariyan pattanilla...onnum cheyyatheyum irikkunnilla. But stuck aanu
എനിക്ക് shame നേരിട്ടത് കൂടുതലും ഉമ്മയിൽ നിന്നാണ്.. 37 വയസ്സുണ്ട്. ജീവിതം ദുരന്തമായിരുന്നു.. ഡിവോഴ്സ്ഡ് ആണ്.. ഇപ്പോഴും ഉമ്മ എന്നെ micromange ചെയ്തുകൊണ്ടിരിക്കുന്നു. ഉപ്പ പണ്ട് ഇങ്ങനെ ആയിരുന്നില്ല. ഉമ്മയുടെ influence കാരണം ഉപ്പയും എന്നെ micromanage ചെയ്തു കൊണ്ടിരിക്കുന്നു..
Before the video i actually my thoughts is not perfect time for watch this video I don't know why I am think like that And procrastinate
Some hours and watch It's feel good actually Same topic I want to know I am thinking It's my problem Thank you lot And I want more content Like this video your so deep thinker my opinion is don't Understand life very very deep Just take some steps and make your life regret less after any bad feelings you understand the movement may be Iam worng thing is saying but don't take bad way don't forget to change my thoughts
Perfectionism and procrastination 💯true,Viya❤
18:02 Can you share how you overcome procrastination?
Hey.. There is a book by the name of Procrastination puzzle. It will help.. Helped me a lot😊
@@DaringLonewolf tnq❤️
'Procrastination' 50 കളിൽ എത്തിയെങ്കിലും ഇപ്പോഴെങ്കിലും connect ചെയ്യാൻ പറ്റിയല്ലോ.. Thank you
Ur content is always 💥
The movie Black swan would help you to understand more about perfectionism ❤
my all time favorite
@@nsa7752 yes her mom is a narc
Viya please hear my story if you have time...
I struggle with my studies since 2017, and iam so sad about it....
The reason is i have trauma with it....
I was studying for my plus one model exams in February 2017 , at the very first day of my exam, my brother committed suicide...and that night i slept early bcoz i had exam tomorrow..after that incident i had regret which consumes even till now is that i slept early to get up early to study next morning, if i didn't sleep that night, i could have save my brother ...this thought was killing me since that day....even now i am struggling, but i have a big dream to achieve but i cant put in the work...its depressing...😢
🫂🫂🫂
Serious PTSD aanu treatment edukathe rekshayilla.
Good content... ❤️
Its very easy to remove all kinds traumas from subconscious mind by doing self hypnosis.
Hai. Ee video kandappo end mindinu orupaad helpful ayy. Njnipo vallathoru situationilayrunnu.thank you so much viya
Hey viya...I like your videos... it's very interesting and informative...now a days ur videos influence me a lot 🤍
this video has helped me so much, there is so much clarity into why so and so happens
Consistency ne kurich
Hi viya,overthinking engane marikadakam ennathine patti oru video cheyamo
Well explained❤
Money management patty oru video cheyyuo ?
Can you make a video on how to stop comparing ourselves with others n their life? Especially in this era
Thank you.. I am also the same kind of person
is perfectionism part of ocd?
my favourite among ur videos
thank you
Thank you❤ really helpful
So glad!
Please make a video about how to identify red flags in ourselves and improve them
Great share.. thank you viya
Most welcome
Thank you ❤️👍🏻
Thank you viya❤
Viya, Thanku. So useful & relevant vid this is.
Thank you viya ❤️
What are the red flags you had and how did you worked on it?can you say it in the next part?
Viya i am struggling with procrastination.. I can't complete any task. I am very disappointed. I don't know its laziness. I have no goal and i have no focus🥺.
Thankyou ❤
You are the one who influenced me 🫶🏻
Thanku so much for this video!♥️
Orupaad relatable ayit ulla topic anu❤.
I respect you❤
Thanks for this one❤
Thank you for doing this video
My pleasure!
Thank you for doing this video
Thanks viya..❤..
Thank you ❤️
Thankyou for this vedioo❤
Very well done Viya🫂❤️... But oru karyam on parayanam en thoni.... Viya paranja therapist inte aduth aalde videos um karyngalm okke kand njnm poitharnu.... But I had a very bad experience session inte edel rand muun thavana aalde staff thanne interrupt chythu.... Rand thavana water inu vendi ayirn adhkond it was fine.... But pne oru call kodkan veendum vannu.... I thought important call ayirkm athavum session inte edel attend chyunath but nah etho almarah modify chyanenteyo adhil ntho work chyanentayo karyam ayirno samsarichond irunne....oru session inte idayil vech call chyth casual talk itu chirchond irikunnu... I felt really bad., adhum njn avarod nta pain explain chyanenta idayil... Sherikkm karachil vannu enik.... Apathanne enik vent out chyan uncomfortable aay... Also session start akiyapol I was explaining myself, nta childhood ile traumas and all because enik thoni maybe adhum kuude therapist arinjal maybe enne nanayt mansilakanum help akanum patum en.... Njn adh explain chyanenta edel she interrupted and asked " idhokke nthaaa? Ippa nthina vannath en pry" I was shattered dude adhyam she should listen... Enik nta traumas present life ine nanayt affect akunu en thoni apo adhine paty avark mansilay enne help akam en thoni prnjapol prnjathan idhoke... I don't think avare oru nalla therapist en vilikaan enik patum en... And I think aaal ee videos iloke mathrame nallath en olu... Normal ppl inodoke ee oru level of interaction ahnen thonunu... If she is that passionate and sincere towards this field she wouldn't have done that.... 🙌🏻 Anyways Viya thank you so much❤️🫂
Viya twin flame patti oru video cheyamo 😌ath Sathyam ano 😮
Thank you 🙂♥️
You’re welcome 😊
Content❤️💯
Content 👏🏽
I tend to use the words 'sorry' and 'Thank you' a lot.. എനിക്ക് അറിയില്ല ഞാൻ അതെവിടുന്നാ പഠിച്ചേ എന്ന്.. But once one of my friend told me I'm people pleasing and don't say sorry / thank you all the time, even for simple things.. Still എന്റെ സ്വഭാവം മാറിയിട്ടില്ല.. But now, whenever i say sorry /thank you, i feel so uncomfortable.. Like i think multiple time 'was that relevant'?? I mean, പറഞ്ഞു കഴിഞ്ഞിട്ട് ഞാൻ silently ചിന്തിക്കും 'ഞാൻ ഇപ്പൊ എന്തിനാ സോറി പറഞ്ഞെ..ഈ ചെറിയ കാര്യങ്ങൾക്കൊക്കെ താങ്ക് യു പറഞ്ഞു ഫോർമൽ ആകണോ ' എന്നൊക്കെ..!
Can u please help me to understand whether I'm doing right or wrong 😔 Can u do a video on this topic?? Please chechi❤️ No problem if you show my comment on your video also.. I badly want a solution from right source.
Be kind don't be nice!
Thankyou 🤎
Parayade erikan thonunilla really amazing topics aan toh valare useful aan oronnum
Oru close friend ayi thanne kitiyengil enn thonipowarund
Enik ente oru karyam chodikanum und contact option patumengil tharanam . Love ❤
Please make a video abt ASD
Viya you should try the book ‘The mountain is you’.
10:47 ok ningalude perfectionism manassilakkunnu
Sorry to say njanayirunnu chodichirunne kazhinja video mukkiyonn 😁
Ningalude aa videoile points nod viyojippundayirunnu
Thanku for this video. Pl do mental health videos more
👉Hi viya, good 1. I hav few suggestions wen u do videos other than reel reaction. It wud b good, if u cud research more on such topics & present to the point, by enumerating main points & detailing on those. Bcoz I feel sometyms, the topic drifts off track & less of correlation btw points of a subject & less of take away from the whole video. Pls consider if possible❤.
Noted
Thank you❤
Do post the second part soon.
Very useful video.
Vtl nn hostel lek maari ninnittu aa enviornment expect cheyyan pattatha situation ne kurich oru video cheyyo...
( Bad gang le k attraction aavunne... Drugs... )
Thanks ❤
Welcome!
Ente life unexpected incident nadannu manas aake takarthu athu haunt cheyuka engane ithellam marakan kariyum
Enikku onnum cheyan kariyunilla aake takarnu
19:00 i thought enikk mathram aahn ithenn🫣.room clean aytllel porth poy ksheenich vannalm onn irhkkan polm pattila athm just clean ayyalum porha . Sherkkm valya disturbing ahnith.ippo njn veylokka kond ksheenich vannellu but okka full clean and organize aytt ahn onn relax avunne.
Main ayytt bed😵💫. Just onn neengyal ath sheryakathe orh samadnm ndavula. Athaanel siblings okka vann edkkedk irhkkm😣. Athnn vtl athkavm njn vayakk ahn. Ithokke onn sheryyaknm😅
Viya please study further you have an innate talent to become an therapist🎉❤
Your are like my sis ❤️🥹 thank uu for this video
💜💜