My Survivor's Story - Two Years On 💜
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 พ.ค. 2024
- In today's video, I share how my survivor story looks, two years later. Links below :)
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Im just gonna say it.
The best revenge is living well !
And you are doing that. Wow! Two years and look at you! You have managed to secure a house. A cosy, house with some yard. It is all you need. Living in a small house is smarter. As you get older you will realise the savings accumulated. Lower bills. A warm clean house is gold.
I know it isnt a competition but keep doing what you're doing and you will come out on top. Live for the good people in your life. No time or thoughts wasted on the others.❤
Love this comment 💜
"Ladybugs, Katherine. Lots and lots of ladybugs." - Under the Tuscan Sun
Thank you for sharing, Nicola. You are making wonderful progress for yourself and your boys. I'm so happy for you. Keep up the good work.
Thank you 💜
Thank you Nicola I cant believe it's 2 yrs gone already you have done great give yourself a big hug onwards and upwards God Bless you and the children for a bright happy future.xx
You found a way to survive and thrive. You are moving forward.
I've only just started to recognise myself as a survivor eight years on!! Its been tough and still is challenging at times, but ultimately im in a much better place. I have control over my finances, own my house and am free to do as i please, though that is something that i am still learning to adjust to. As you say, mum is bottom of the pile, and i had literally nothing left to give. I now realise that you can't pour from an empty cup! We are usually the ones holding everything together, yet give ourselves the least consideration!
I still have the odd realisation over a certain situation or thing that happened. The recurring dreams are frustrating, but they are only dreams, thankfully, and i can wake up thankful its over.
Sending you big hugs. You're doing great x x ❤
As are you 💜
I can't believe it's been two years since you posted that video, you to me are like a Phoenix that has arisen from the ashes. Stay true to yourself and your boys and you will be just fine. ❤❤ xx
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Nicola I remember that video and cannot believe that’s it’s been two years already! You’ve done so much you should be so proud of yourself! We are all cheering you on your new life of freedom , safety and happiness❤
Thank you 💜
Nicola, you should be so proud of yourself when you look at what you have achieved. You are an amazing woman and a wonderful mum. The way you have handled the situation as presented in your videos has always been so fair and mature and you have never, ever said anything untoward about the other party. Two years is no time at all after severe trauma, and you are doing so very well. Your boys are so lucky to have such a great mum. Well done!
Thank you 💜
Well done Nicola. I remember your video 2 years ago. I hope that your latest video will help others going through your situation. My daughter works with children who have witnessed domestic abuse and one of my granddaughters works for the same charity on their domestic abuse help line which caters for men and women. I think you are wise not commenting to your boys about things, when they are older they will appreciate how hard you have worked for the three of you as a family. It's a long road, but you are a stronger lady, I'm sure we can tell from your posts. x
Nicola what a great video so glad you and your boys are moving along in your new life. Your are a great role model for them. I was in an abusive marriage for 30 years before I finally left when I did my mental health was in bits I dudnt even know what music I liked clothes I preferred my whole like was controlled even 15 years later like you I get flash backs. You will continue to grow and you are a very strong women. ❤
As are you 💜
This video made me so proud and we are strangers! What you said about how you know what happened and how it’s ok to talk about it was such a powerful message. Well done on being honest. You don’t have/need to share details whether you are being silenced or not. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with sharing your experience around the situation without feeling bad. It’s your experience and NO ONE can take that from you. I just hope that 2 years later you can see that light beaming at the end of your tunnel. Time really will continue to heal your wounds and things will improve. It makes me so happy that you also want to focus on yourself as well - it’s so necessary. Great video - I’ve enjoyed watching your journey 😊
Thank you so much 💜
Why did you have to take that video down hun? And were all so proud of everything you're doing, you're an amazing mum and such a beautiful woman xx
Thank you 💜 I did it in the hopes I would be left alone. Guess we’ll see 🤷♀️
@@NicolaatTheFrugalCottage EMDR therapy is the best for trauma and I highly recommend. I had it despite being on a tight budget. It's well worth the investment. You can also get it on the NHS.
Nicola you have achieved so much for you and your boys in the last 2 years. You should be so proud of yourself.
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So sorry you have had to go through this. Your honesty is inspirational.
Thank you for watching 💜
Nicola,you don’t recognise it yet but you can survive anything.You have already proved it with your resilience,determination and focus.How many women can emerge from such financially difficult circumstances as you have?Most women are decimated financially but you have established a home and a future within 2 years…..amazing,brilliant,determined and successful.
Thank you 💜
Favourite quote from a film? Its got to be: nobody puts nicola in a corner 💪🏻
This made me smile ☺️
Thankyou for your video, reminded me just how far I've come!
Keep going Nicola. X Your vlog made me realise how much I have achieved over the past 30 years. I am a strong woman mentally and have 2 wonderful sons who are both happy and settled. It is a journey but you will find inner strengths that you were not aware of. Amazing. XX
Thank you 💜
You are so strong and have achieved so much for you and your boys in the past 2 years.❤
You're doing an amazing job for yourself and your boys. Good on you. Xxx
Tess! Have missed your videos
Hopefully you are also doing well
@@kimbermoog4451 I'm doing fine, thank you. Just struggling to find time and energy to make and edit videos. I hope you're well too x
It’s so lovely to see how you have grown in the last 2 years. I remember the video you posted. It broke my heart to see you hurt like that . 😢
Time is the greatest healer, unfortunately we just have to ride that wave.
Lots of love ❤ xx
Thank you 💜
Hi, you are an incredible woman, and you should be so proud of how strong you are.
❤
Hi, well done you are sounding stronger 💪 & looking happier. You are an Amazing Mum & woman
Thank you 💜
I have a side job where I supervise court ordered custodial access visits. Even parents who are supervised can try to alienate their children from the custodial parent. Be aware of things your children say when they return from visits. Hopefully the adults in your boys lives are not out to tear you down in front of your boys, but be aware.
I have seen some truly nasty custody cases.
💔
Well done Nicola! A report from me is that in the time since my wife dumped me I have 1/ lost a great deal of weight and got myself fit; 2/ learnt to speak Spanish to almost fluent level (C1) from scratch; 3/ Not only kept my day-to-day living as debt free... I paid off a 10 year "settlement / splitting the equity (to give her her half)" mortgage in 2 years, 6 months and 13 days. That said, it's taken me 6½ years to more or less emotionally get over how much my wife hurt me in what she did and didn't do. That said. I am fit and healthy, very solvent, actually speak TWO foreign languages. I don't drink, smoke, take drugs, gamble. And I have never been in trouble with the police... I did it entirely on my own too - there was and is no-one else.... _Who won in the end?_
I love this, thank you so much for sharing 💜
Kudos to you my friend
Of course it will get way better yet Nicola. You are now the driver of your life for yourself and your boys. So good to see that you have gotten to this point!
Thank you 💜
You have come so far and done so well, be proud of yourself, you will go from strength to strength. 😊xx
Thank you 💜
Good to hear you’re doing ok Nicola. You’re great. My mum was a survivor and a single parent with me and my brother in the 60s, 70s and 80s. She went on to have a great career and a very fulfilling life despite starting with nothing. I hope that gives you some reassurance and encouragement.
Thank you for sharing your story 💜
@@NicolaatTheFrugalCottage Thank you
Wow Nicola, I'm so full of admiration for the strength you have shown in making this video and for getting to where you are now. You have gained so much strength and sound like you are now have hope for a brighter future for you and your boys. As you're off to Disneyland soon here's my quote for you:
"I'm never going back; the past is in the past." (Elsa, Frozen).
Thank you 💜 love that quote as well.
Thank you for sharing this with us. My heart hurts that you and your boys have had some difficult times. We appreciate you sharing what u can of your story. Id like you to know how much of a diffrenxe u have made to our familys life evaluating how we look at spending and saving. Thank you. You got this. X
Thank you for such a lovely comment 💜
2 years already? wow! Hi Nicola, lovely to see you and have this update. As a long standing viewer of yours, it brings me a lot of joy to see where you are at today. I am so proud of you. So proud. I wish you nothing but continued healing and growth and the future for you is a bright one. You are one hella strong woman. Take care, Maddie xx
Thank you so much 🥺💜
Time, yes. And little to no contact with the person or people who committed the trauma. Also, counselling if it can be afforded. I'm looking forward to hearing your book recommendations, wondering if I have read the same.
You are one amazing lady Nicola. You are also very sensible. Making sure that you look after yourself ( in all ways )is paramount. Your relationship with your boys will grow into something very special. And the home that you ( and only you , with your children) have created, will always be that very special place! Enjoy your home. You are totally awesome!
Favourite quote from a film is at the end of Legally Blonde, at the graduation when Elle shouts, 'We did it!!' You and your boys have done it!!
Thank you 💜
Well done you, Nicola. Not an easy road but definitely better for you and your boys. Been on a similar path, kind of same when my two were little and all I can say kids need one sane parent and my two are now 28 and 30,two beautiful decent humans and I am their world. They recognise how I rebuilt our lives, very appreciative of difficult decisions in difficult times and no longer have contact with the other parent. It took time and life experiences for them to work out who had their best interests at heart. You are on a good path and I love your channel. Please keep going. Sending love and hugs to you all💚🎈💐💕👍
Thank you 💜
Good for you, Nicola! I’m surprised you had to take that video down. I don’t remember you making any direct allegations towards your hex. Although we draw our own conclusions. You have achieved so much in such a short time, you are flipping awesome!
Thank you 💜
I’m 2 years in aswell Nicola. Similar circs. Look forward to the book recs babe. Don’t feel like i am thriving but getting there 💜
Think we’re in a similar place 💜
You are a very mature, and loving mother, and have shown you have integrity and honor in handling this terrible situation, that entered your life, through no fault of your own. I am so happy you sought out support and are continuing to take care of yourself. Healing comes incrementally, and some things do not become clear, right away. * As a woman, I am so proud of your path to set aside the hurt and betrayal; choosing to not become bitter, but to nuture a new life of solid love and safety. You have proven you have a "spine of steel, covered with velvet." This is a US saying, to describe a woman who survives trauma with grace and dignity - you are that woman. You will keep changing and growing, and you have picked a healthy direction to go, and to not interfere with your sons relationship with their father (that takes real love on your part). I hope on the bad days, which will become fewer over time, you look at some of these videos and CELEBRATE the visual evidence of your hold on decency, your efforts to recover financially, and how your focus on your family's physical and mental health has been successful, because of all of YOUR hard-won positive choices. * You are a Proverbs 31, woman, in every way. I am so very happy to see you this far down the path toward a better life, in only two years. Time does heal. Ten years from now, you will look back, and truly be surprised at how well you have done and how you moved from surviving to thriving. The pain will be tucked away, seldom to reappear. Most of all, you will know you have been blessed ten-fold. You can't see it now, but it will be happen. Promise.
Thank you for posting such a wonderful comment 💜
“That’ll do pig, that’ll do” (from Babe) to be said whenever you’ve managed to successfully wrangle children / things into the correct place / at the correct times or complete tricky jobs. Well done for getting where you’ve got to ❤
Thank you 💜 and love that film!
Best commemt ever❤❤😂😂(and so true)
Great to see you Nicola, you have come such a long way. I am 69 and i admire your courage so much!!!. I will be following your journey along the way. If i can just give you a little advice, dont work too hard to make every thing perfect, finances , house etc. Stop and take a breath now and then, time goes by quickly, savour the little things. 🌻🌿🌲😊XX
Thank you 💜 and thank you for the reminder - I often forget this 😅
Good for you Nicola sending blessings to you and your boys x
Thank you 💜
An inspirational video 👍👍
I remember that first video. You sounded so fragile. Broken. I ached for you. You said nothing untoward or incriminating that I can think of. I don't understand you taking it down so you'll be "left alone". You never used words like abusive, or such. You have come a long way in a short time. You will look back over time and congratulate yourself 🎉🎉❤
Thank you 💜
❤ you doing great xx
I’m 14 years in
Mes doubtful - you’re going to be alright
As are you 💜
You are looking and sounding so much stronger! That’s the karma not letting them get u down. I’m a survivor of domestic violence also. I would be interested in the books you have read. ❤
I will share them when I’ve finished 💜
I don't know what has happened but i so hope you come through it. I have only seen one of your videos from three years ago when you were full of plans and happiness. I pray you and your family find the healing you now seek.❤🙏❤
Thank you 💜
@@NicolaatTheFrugalCottage ❤
So glad that you are feeling stronger Nicola ❤ onwards and upwards!
Can I ask what happened 2 years ago as I’m a bit lost about it all? X
My life fell apart in an instant and I’ve been rebuilding 💜
Well done nic, you are still young, you are beautiful and you are definitely healing , one day at all a time. Keep smiling ☺️💪 sending love xx 💜 edited to add , I don’t have a film quote 😂🙈
Thank you 💜
I recommend Michael Sealy sleep meditations, so helpful.
Nicola, You're right @7:31. That's not how life works. When ppl attempt to silence truth and things they'd rather stay hidden and not be made public, oddly enough, it resonates and sounds even louder. I'm just saying... I could hear from here in Vancouver BC Canada. When someone shows their true selves, spend more time owning it and less time trying to silence victims. So weak on that person's part. For shame. Longtime subscriber from across the pond, Heidi
EDITED TO ADD: poor word choice on my part. Apologies. I know better and should do better. Not victims. Survivors and innocents.
“You never win with violence. You only win when you maintain your dignity.”
MAHERSHALA ALI - Dr. Donald Shirley
Ooh I like this.
👍😎👍 magic 🥳
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Buckets of love to you and your boys Nicola. You are inspiring and a beautiful person. After Disney when you are able please start putting some regular coins in your personal care envelope.
Thank you 💜 and I’ll try - there are more important ones to get going first ☺️
I am new today to ur channel. I get now why you're doing this, and I think I know why your life fell apart. I will never assume anything though but I can see you're an amazing, strong lady..your doing amazing things for your boys...its the love of a great mum. I am always security conscious though, so can I please say do not keep money in those wallets in your house. Pls put it in the post office or a credit unuon. Your showing on videos the wallets and whats in each. Do you have credit unions in UK? In Ireland they are wonderful. Have even small savings and you will get a loan at reasonable cost if needed. Take care Nicola.
Thank you 💜 and I have no idea about a credit union, I shall investigate ☺️
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Well done nicola
Always look forward not backwards.
You're a good looking girl any man would be proud to have you as a partner
1960s houses are good, generally better built than today’s and plenty of natural light with those big windows
Why have you been made to take the original video down?
So that I’ll be left alone.