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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ก.ค. 2024
- Are you constantly surrounded by people on dates, engagements, or weddings? If so, it’s only natural for you to want what they have. You may put yourself in uncomfortable situations by going on dates or might even try to convince yourself that you are actually in love. But are you really? Here are a few signs you're NOT actually in love.
What is the difference between love and lust? Find out here: • 6 Differences Between ...
Writer: Ananya Sawarkar
Script Editor: Denise Ding
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
VO: Amanda Silvera ( / amandasilvera )
Animator: Korin (new animator) (@moony.whalee)
TH-cam Manager: Cindy Cheong
References
Ni’Kesia Pannell (May 23, 2018). 5 signs you’re not actually in love - even if you think you are. Retrieved March 02, 2022 from;
www.insider.com/signs-youre-n...
Kelli Ann. 10 Signs You’re Not Actually In Love With Your Partner. Retrieved March 02, 2022 from;
www.bolde.com/10-signs-not-lo...
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5 signs you're not in love
1) no talking for a few weeks
2) consistently venting about them
3) being together no longer enjoyable
4) "i love you" feels fake
5) honesty feels conditional
Thank you-!
thanks sm!
Thanks
Kk
You can understand it wrong by just reading these points, so I recommend you watch the full video
Love is a choice. Once the honeymoon hormones wear off, we all have a choice to continue to love someone as long as you feel it or we don't
What fo you mean? How do you chose this and how does this love feel? Like a platonic one?
@@Alex-bl8uh Platonic is self explanatory in nature.
Romantic / sexual love is a continual choice made each day by showing up and wanting to love somone
@@Martyn_Wolf so you have to force yourself to love once the honeymoon is over?
@@Alex-bl8uh Choosing and forcing are different things.
Love can indeed be a choice and commitment, but wouldn't that be a bit of betraying yourself if you no longer feel the same way down the road?
I've actually never really been in love , I've had a few relationships but thinking back, i don't really know why I agreed on it. Sometimes i think I'm unable to love. And i am afraid of getting emotionally attached to someone
i used to think im unable to love, and also afraid of caring too much and getting too attached as well, so i feel your struggle too
i have finally found someone who has it the same way
I relate to this. Maybe loving ourselves could enable us to love others.
Yeah!! Sometimes I also feel incapable of loving someone, it's like you think you feel something for that person, sometimes some reactions happen, palpitations and nervousness, but when that reaction becomes official, you just don't feel anything anymore, or in another situation, you feel comfortable with the other person, you think you like them, but you think it's weird not feeling anything, i want to but i can't, it seems fake and superficial
Same here. I guess it's true that can't love you unables you to love someone. I once thought I loved me, but I confused it with narcisism, what was the end? I ruined my relationship with my best friend in the world... Even so, we keep talking, we are best being friends, but I feel like I still love him, but I don't want him with me in that way at the same time, he doesn't deserve that.
I actually thought that I was in love with this person and even confessed to them not long ago but after I did I actually felt nothing. Everything's in this video is really on point with me (except the venting about them part). I always wanted a stable relationship and they were my first choice because I thought they were the safest option, now I realize that I was just in love of the thought of being in a relationship and not actually being in one
Same
So interesting
and how do you just tell someone u fell out of love after giving them hope-
I am planning on just running away , disappearing....cause i cant take the look on their face and i am not in love at all
@@irctinr4evr919 I was rejected after I did so I think it still worked out fine for me but I dunno what to say to your situation sorry
My gf confessed to me a couple months ago (I'm pretty sure) and I'm not fully in love with her because I'm still recovering from my trauma. We love cuddling and we text each other every and I show her a lot of affection - it's so cute seeing her happy :)
Every once in a while, I'll get excited and nervous sometimes, meaning I'm getting closer to full recovery.
I'm glad I'm happy, and I hope everyone here is happy too💕💕
I'm so happy for your happiness, online stranger
i was in the same situation and i caused him so much pain, but i knew he was the right person for me and now we're dating for almost 6 months now ◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧ i hope y'all have a lovely future like us :3
Sociopath vibes
@@Titbitist no. shut up.
Claim your “here within an hour” ticket right here❤️
first 60 seconds 😌
Ah thank u very much
52 seconds
Here now
a minute
I've had that before with someone who seemed too fastly attracted to me - broke up and now I'm talking to a very nice girl from Canada (not YET in a relationship)
much luck to you both ✨
Amazing that you are comfortable enough to comment about this👏👏
But good luck to you❤
Me too,
Good luck for us bro😁😁😁😁
@@luhuttuhul3411 GL man 🤝
Good luck!
If you don't have time:
1. No talking? No problem!
2.Consistently venting
3.Being together no longer enjoyable
4."I love you" feels fake
5.Honesty feels conditional
Thanks
Noo, just watch the video xd.
Loved how this one explained each sign well and compared what the opposite might look like. Really helps the understanding.
Just ended a relationship where all of these things were true about me... seeing it summed up in a video has helped me to feel valid for the choice I made. I wasn't invested in my partner anymore and they deserve someone who will be. I'm going to hurt for a while, especially when they find someone else, but it was the right thing to do. I don't really think I'm the kind of person who is capable of loving so I don't think I'll be pursuing anything myself, and I wouldn't ask anyone to love me if I'm seemingly incapable of giving them the same in return.
How did your partner took your confession?
@@uddhavgalande5202 They've fallen into a depression lately, and I'm almost positive it was from our break-up. However, they have made new friends and are being social, which I'm happy for. But they've been taking it pretty hard otherwise.
@@gothsinn23 thanks a lot for sharing, i hope your partner get's better overtime.
Well I am proud of you for realizing that you may not be capable and owning it. It's not easy.
Try loving yourself for a change maybe
i know that feeling, it's hard for me to open my heart and feel love, but when someone abuses that, it's even more difficult
Yo!! Your content helps me a lot when I'm questioning things and when i need answers. Tysm for all that you do for us!!
Glad that it could be helpful! Are there any other topics you would like us to cover?
@@ajohncarino my bf also have this feeling now doubting but not bcs not feel same anym. It's cos of ldr he doubt if it work or not bcs the feeling kill him so much thatbhe miss me alot. So tbh I kinda need this kind of answer too😇
@@Psych2go I'm concerned about the future and when I do or don't do things in the present FoR the future to be like what I plan to be ,I'm being told that I look too far in the future and I should be focusing on the present...I don't feel like I ignore or let the present go without paying attention to it but at the same time I don't like doing things now that I believe won't help me going where I plan in the future.....Its a bit confusing in my head and it actually stresses me out so maybe a video about something like that?
5 Signs You're Not Actually In Love
0:34 No talking? No problem!
1:10 Consistently venting.
2:05 Being together no longer enjoyable.
3:00 “I love you” feels fake.
3:30 Honesty feels conditional.
This video actually really helped me figuring out I am not in love anymore
Things like that sometimes seems so easy but at the samd time they are hard to accept, so thank you!
I really needed some advice
This account is my favorite, always heals me, I play these videos in the background to feel calm and tbh they are really therapeutic, thank you💓
That's so nice to hear! How do you feel about the more recent vids?
Oh, I have felt the honesty part really well. I can't comfortably speak about everything with her just because of her sometimes insulting jokes and "others have it worse" kind of answers. And I can't really blame her for that since she has grown up in the same conditions, for every of her troubles she had same answers from relatives and some "friends". She thinks it builds the character, just because she was raised up like this, but I know her fairly well and her heart is closed in a similar way like mine, not really tightly though. She is very nervous about herself and very critical of herself and others, she kinda tries to tight herself up, but through enormous emotional strain. I always listen to her and I try to soothe her mind through calm and soft speaking and listening thoroughly. I always want her to just be better. Isn't it love?
ooh that #4 I feel that's a big one definitely! I think sometimes words can be actions because of your emotions and what you feel on the inside.
No, I really do love you guys. You're one of my absolute favorite channels on this platform.
I LOVED THE ANIMATION STYLE OMG IT'S AMAZING :D congrats to the animator!
Well, I know I'm in love, but this definitely confirmed it more 🥰
Happy to hear that you found someone special! What was the clear sign for you?
@@Psych2go he treats me better than anyone ever has. I really don't know what I did to deserve this kind of love but I am SO happy!
Me too 😁💝
i love your content sm its so comforting and calm and ofc it educates :)
Its videos like this that makes me want to have talks with my mom since I struggled with feeling love or expressing it because of that difficulty, thanks for the simple words of wisdom and encouragement
In our mental minds class our teacher plays your videos! (Love them btw) you make me feel more sure about myself along with other things. Also I’m obsessed with the art to accompany the video. Love you and stay safe!! 💗🫣
Aww. That's so lovely to hear! Thank you to your teacher for doing that! Hopefully, we can keep making nice artsy vids for you!
THANK YOU FOR THIS VIDEO😭 IT HELPS ME A LOT😭 CUZ I'M SO CONFUSED OF HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW😭
This is super helpful as usual! Thanks so so much!
Glad it could be! Do you have any requests for new topics?
This is a must share video... Thanks for this one
I needed this. Thank you. 💕
Amanda, I'm IN LOVE with your voice!!! I'm swooning as I write this....🥰😘
Uuuuf so on point , this really resonated
The part about honesty gets me… because I rarely ever feel safe telling my (sort of) partner the truth, but with my ex it came so easily when he turned up the other day - even though telling him about my ‘sort of’ partner could make things harder… being the best version of myself comes naturally with him!
seems you don't love either your ex or your current partner
That's kinda fvcked up relationship
The replies 💀
Umm.. why are you talking to your ex while you’re seeing someone else? How would you feel if your partner, or even ex was talking to one of their ex’s while dating you. Sounds to me like you need to be single for awhile anyways
you act like being friends with your ex's isn't normal
thanks for the video 🤎 love the animation
I LOVE THE VISUALS ON THIS ONE!
Was having doubts, then started watching and started thinking about the person, and now my chest is making it clear.
I needed this so baad!!😩
Your voice always makes me so emotional especially when you're talking for love 😭❤
Happy to hear!
I have always thought that my love with my partner is Love in it's purest form.... I didn't need any assurance from anyone, because I felt it. But after seeing this video, I am surer than before that our thing is real. Because we behave totally opposite of this with one another . A little reassuring like this feels nice.
Thank you for this 😊
*why do I somehow relate to all of these videos 😭*
Ty for posting!
i agree with most except for the ‘nonchalant’ part. sometimes we need space or alone time, and that does not necessarily equate to not loving them anymore.
Love the new animation!
I've been thinking a lot about my past relationships and the possibility of being Aro, and this video helped!!!
Same...
I really needed this video, thank you so much!
Glad it could be helpful! Are there any other videos you would like to see?
@@Psych2go I don't know if you have done this, but can you make a video about the differences between panic attacks and anxiety attacks?
So... I was in love and he made me stop feeling this way.
How
Thx your videos rly helped it helped me find out I have depression and anxiety
her voice is so peaceful.
every time i hear it i feel calm.
nice job 👍 keep it up
needed this like 18 months ago 😭
i do love him. but im just too shy to be my complete self around him. we still have alot to go through so i know this will change and in time, i'll be comfortable with him like he is with me:)).
Not like I was looking for answers, but this helped me see that my relationship with my ex was long gone dead and took the right decision when calling quits.
I reached out to him just a few days after meeting him, and he never replied. At first, I was heartbroken.
And then I realized why I was upset- both of my sisters were in committed, happy relationships, and I wasn’t. I was trying to rush myself.
It’s been almost two years now, and I have never felt more fulfilled in my life as I focused more on myself rather than just… waiting for a relationship that would never come. It still stings a little when I think back to when I was so empty and trying to rush something, but I’m happy that I never settled on just waiting. Thanks so much for this video. I know so many people like myself need to hear it.❤️
your videos have helped me understand myself, my feelings and my relationships with others and with professional support and support from great friends I feel I love myself and I have been so happy with myself since
Very good informative video!
Thank you so much 🥰
Your voice is the only meditation we need😭❤️
Hmm. I miss them a lot. I always want to hang out with them, whereas I don’t usually with others. I am honest with them all the time. I genuinely enjoy their company. But here’s the question. Am I talking about my best friend, or the person I like?
I needed this vid tysm
How’s you know I needed this
I'm thankful for this video, it helps me to finally understand what I've been feeling and it's a relief for me to know. It's sad that I finally realized that I don't love him anymore, that's why I'm acting that way and broke up with him. We can close off the chapter in our life to make another but now without each other. I hope he's doing well and I wish him goodluck.
Sounds like you were able to make a brave decision. How are you doing these days?
My fav videos before bed because her voice is so calming..I’m already falling asleep before the end of this video.
You only want what's best for the person when it doesn't affect you negatively.
I absolutely love and cherish my alone time and my social battery is naturally pretty low, but being with him just gives me comfort and energy, I love every second of it. Being alone with him is the best thing in the world, I love that boy so much.
It feels good to see that I am not the only one questioning ones feelings in my current relationship... I don't know, it feels so nice and comfortable to be with him, we are so good to each other, but on the other side I just cannot say I love you to him, because I don't feel it...
I was single most of my life and it is so rare that I find someone who is giving, with whom I can have intelligent conversations with and who I find attractive... so in this sense, he is a gem... but I am still not sure if I am in love...
Can you make a video about if you think you have done something bad but are not sure but if you have done something and can’t get over it?
Beautiful person reading this, go after what it is that you want in life! Learn the skills, do whatever it takes! You are capable of anything! I believe in you! ✨
Love - Nat ❤️
Thankyou beautiful person!
Wow I have noticed more authenticity in your voice, do you have a change in your life rn? :D
i needed this
I was in love with my best friend. And she said she was too. But then (and also before that) she always ignored me for several days and sometimes weeks. I was blind of love and i always forgave her. But now she isnt even interested in talking to me in school and avoids me. When i tried to solve the problem, she didnt even answer to the text. It still hurts me so much only thinking about the first letter of her name. I feel guilty for things i didnt even do. And I still dont know why she lost interest in me and not only didnt tell me but activley ignored me. I cry every morning because i not only lost her as a crush but also as a friend. While she doesnt even seem to care of my existence.
This video helped me cope a bit tho thank you
I am indeed, in love. It's just him losing interest and moved on from me to someone else
Love all your videos
Thanks 😊 this is Knowledgeable to us🌍
It's quite frustrating to be reminded constantly that I was actually in love. That video just validated everything that I felt for my ex. And for a long while, I wasted all the love I can give to someone who was faking it the whole time before she left me for someone else. I'm glad to know that I'm very much capable of doing that, but I'd rather be left alone and content with myself than getting into a relationship that would just end in lies and betrayal.
Struggling with this right now. My heart hurts.
Love it thanks
I’ve been having a crush on a girl since the end of the school year. I already hung out with her in a group setting but my friend and I have talked about me going on an actual date with her at some point. Anyways, for some reason, I was thinking about her this whole video, and I’m smiling over her and feeling the butterflies too. 😊
So, I’ve never fallen in love…
How old are you?
Love is nuanced. I hope people don't see these videos and go "I knew it".
It's been like this for me in the past... but I am with someone who loves me no matter what and they care about me
ANIMATION is so cute hehe
2:21 I loved sm the little Tata and chimmy holding hands dolls😭😭😭😭 they are so cute
I am curious, what does it mean when you don't talk to someone for weeks, you enjoy every moment with them and you love them more each time you talk or meet?
Great video but I'm dying over the wee Psych2go Kanthony! So cute! ✨💙
I’m not okay with accurate this is 😭 currently going through this with my partner of 5 years. It’s been so rough in general but I’m the one who’s had to rip the bandaid off for both of our mental health and well being. It honestly sucks 💔
What's the difference between being in love and being emotionally dependant to your partner?
Just planted my comment cuz i wanna know the answer too.
That is… a really good question.
Okay so I found this comment and I wanted to answer because I've seen with my own eyes my moms ex bf be emotionally dependent on her. Younger child me knew it wasn't love no matter how lovey dovey he was and he reeked with insecurity. Always cried about being nothing without my mother. Actually worried about a friend becoming like him because her habits mimic what my memories are just very mildly compared to what ex bf was like (not the crying about being nothing just alot of clingyness and insecurity while going through something).
From a quick search and paste
Other key signs of emotional dependence include:
an idealized view of your partner or the relationship.
the belief your life lacks meaning without them.
the belief you can't find happiness or security alone.
a persistent fear of rejection.
a constant need for reassurance.
I didn't see it as love because he didn't see himself as a whole person and basically "used" my mother to feel complete. In my eyes that's not love. But who knows. That's just my interpretation.
Maybe look up secure attachment styles. I feel like this didn't answer anything with love but maybe it did :]
@@CrepuscularQueen for some reason your response feels complete and resonates with me for this is where i feel. Reality hits as i have been the kind of a receptor for such a relationship
There isn't. Love, as most people would define it, is just an emotional addiction that your brain is experiencing in order to procreate. After a while, it vanishes and that's just natural.
Then you have people who call long-term bonding with someone after this phase the "real love", but I think they are just deluding themselves since they don't want to admit that all their initial feelings were just petty biological reactions and everything that's left is more or less just a friendship they got used to over time. People are serial monogamists usually, so that means every love has a built-in expiration date.
I'm just thinking here at bed before going to sleep if I'm in love or what just now. Good timing Thanksss
I love ur videos gurl
The thumbnail is just too cute 😍😍😍
thank you very much.
3:53 , okay as a newbie Trek fan , I saw a weird comparison here but I loved the animation on this channel !
Thank you 🙏
I don't necessarily agree with point 1 but I get the logic behind it, sometimes life gets in the way and you might need space from communication.
i feel like i’m having the same problem right now but i’ve been with them for 7 months and i don’t know how to deal with it 😭
Came out of a 6 years long relationship. Everything was fine. Just that our communication was less..but I think we can work out of things like this too..until and unless the other person has very deep trauma, loneliness , codependency nature always wants attention. Prioritizing their goal but never yours. I gave him chances to so that he could fix himself. I asked him to get therapy but he didn't. I have been with him when nobody believed he could even achieve anything. Today when he achieved everything, he left me in cold.. saying he doesn't love me and choose to dump me.
I sit here and realise .what was everything for 6 years. Have you never loved me? I am so tired .mentally exhausted now.😔
Hope your doing better
You will find someone else- you deserve better. Learn to love yourself and love only those persons who love you back. Don't try to save anyone. You are worth it - love yourself.
I feel like I've took the "don't bombard them with texts" too seriously. I constantly end up ignoring their texts for days on end even when I feel intensely for them. I think it is because of the fear of disappointment that they would take me for granted and ignore me instead. I just want them to feel my worth. But in the process, I just ended up distancing ourselves from each other. Am I being selfish by keeping expectations?
Edit: It is about a crush.
Last time I talked here (maybe? Memory issues suck.) I had just broken up with my ex who now that we've separated I realized it was for the best. But now I have an amazing partner that I love dearly! I get overwhelmed really easily and they are a bit hectic sometimes but I love that about them cuz it's never a full moment! There are times when I can't say "I love you" cuz I have issues with that phrase in my brain as a sort of "you can't say that you'll get attached" thing. But they understand that and they mean the world to me. They probably won't see this but if they do. I love you! I love you so much and I'm sorry for not saying it as often as I should
This is total off topic for this video, but is that Tata and Chimmy on the shelf 2:27? If so, love it!
I’ve been in a relationship for two and a half years. I lost my feelings of love in September of last year. I’m so lost and don’t know what to do. My relationship feels like a chain I’m stuck to. They know about my loss in feelings but want me to talk to a therapist first. I’ve had no hope finding one and it’s causing me stress and depression. I don’t know what to do
i feel the last one depends on who you are. I have great friends yet will never share my music taste or playlist with them because I'm too afraid of rejection. I've had too many incidents of someone making fun of me for the music I like. So me hiding the goofy things I like is just because I don't wanna be hurt, and doesn't mean I don't love my partner, but rather need to work on myself
Here before psi comments!
People are different and so are their emotions and how they live them. I don’t think describing “being in love” can never be objective. But I still agree with most of this video’s assumptions. Especially the last one. I’m just saying there could be someone who has a completely different explanation for the way they feel and it’s okay and it doesn’t mean their feelings are not legit. Everyone has their own way of seeing the world. Things like emotions shouldn’t be so definitive ^^
I fall in love very quickly.
i had this girl who was long distanced. yeah, the ups and downs happen because we had trouble with our love languages, but for the longest time, whenever i would talk about something *I* enjoyed on call, she would either tell me it was “stupid” or she “wouldn’t see the point in it”. something along the lines of that. even if i talked about it on call, she would just randomly hang up while i was mid-way into my enjoyment.
it wasn’t until some personal stuff happened that i asked for a break because it was like a whole reality check. she got hurt more than me but she technically never considered how i felt when she asked for breaks like twice before. but anyways, she admitted that she really did like listening to me talk about anime, and cosplay because she found it enjoyable and she was proud i had interest in something so amazing. that she always thought it was some sign of “weakness” whenever she admitted she liked the same thing. which is really weird because we met each other for liking the same thing.
now she told me she’s seeing some guy because i don’t have my life together and that i “wanted to waste our 2 years together because of personal issues” and honestly, i’m really hurt. idk if it’s jealousy but i just don’t like when she talks about someone else. it’s filling my head with “was i really not the right one then? was i not perfect enough for her? does she like him better then i did?” and so on….i hope someone can relate haha…