Not only for the less experienced! I would say I'm a bit more experienced (18 years of being an equestrian) and I still make mistakes and I still need an advice from a trainer sometimes so it's reassuring to hear it's normal and even the more experienced equesrians can ge to a situaion the need help with:))
"I realized I was the problem and had to fix me first" to a lot of people sounds like a cliche but with horses it is 10,000% true. They are so perceptive and can pick up on something so small we wouldn't even think it was a "something". Uber kudos to this young woman for being so open about her journey, I hope it helps someone (or many someones) else.
All animals. Dogs too. Dog trainers don't train dogs, they train people. And, you can get into a vicious circle where your own anxiety that, say, a dog will try to attack (say) other dogs consistently triggers such attacks. That lies behind alot of unsure and therefore "aggressive" dog behavior out there -- stressed, anxious owners. Our poor animals, it's not easy for them!
Very open words - thank you so much for sharing this difficult period with us! Maybe from time to time we all go through such thoughts with our horse... Before we recognize that the problem is founded in ourselves and wouldn't change with a new horse. Happy to hear that you keep Tucker. We should thank the horses for teaching us something about ourselves 😊
You scared me so bad! But I do think we all need to hear this thank you for this❤ I hope you know that you know how much we appreciate you filming though these hard times. Tucker is going to be an amazing horse
I looked up "sweetheart" in the dictionary and your picture was there. Very hard to find unbridled honesty out there anymore, and I for one greatly appreciate it. I learned more about horses in this one vlog than any other. Signed: City Slicker.
This kind of honesty is so needed in the horse world. I've had horses in my life for over 50 years now, with time out for college, marriage and family. I have learned a great deal from your videos, especially about ground work. I'm working with a new, green horse, havo g lost my mount of 24 years in 2021. I can so relate to your experience of getting anxious and, frankly afraid, of a horse. I will hold onto your story of working on you to work on your horse. Thank you.
I'm having the exact same problem with my horse. We almost sold him, but we decided not to. We gave him a break for a bit, and now he's doing way better now. I think we both needed a break too, because I would get frustrated with him. Obviously it's not the same for every horse. I'm glad you didn't let go of Tucker, you guys are great! I can't wait for what's coming!
Carmella, thanks for your transparency. I'm sure it must have been difficult to be so vulnerable on this platform. Especially since you create training videos & your channel name is equine helper. How brave of you to put yourself out there like this. How awesome that you sought out the help from an outside source. You didn't allow the english/western riding to get in the way of helping yourself help Tucker. That, young lady, shows maturity and humility. Two REALLY good character traits to have. I watch your channel for not only the horse content, but also your personality. I love how you aren't afraid of being a little "goofy," like dressing up in a horse costume, to share some insight on horsey antics. You are genuine, which is what I was looking for in a horse tip channel. One of the 1st videos I watched of yours was you demonstrating how to put a rope halter on a horse. I think it might have been Bella, coat was white, if my old lady memory is working. Anyway, she took off on you before you could get the shoot finished. Instead of editing it out, you left it in. That video played a big part in me subscribing. You're genuine & down right funny at times. There are TONS of horsey channels out there, but few who speak to my needs. I'm not tuned in to see horses & trainers getting it right each & every time. I like the levity. When we can laugh at things that don't turn out like we invisioned, it allows us to take a breath & try again. Sorry for the novel here, just hoping to encourage you like you have encouraged me as a 50+yr old newbie horse owner to not be afraid to try & I see from your own examples that if it doesn't happen on the 1st try, I can allow myself freedom to try again, & laugh at myself when I or my horse aren't perfect in execution.
Love all the honesty! My mom always tells me “Don’t be nervous, the horses sense when your scared or nervous. You feeling scared makes them scared. Remember, trust your horse.”
I am beyond proud of you. To admit that you were the problem, is the biggest step, trust me. You and your horse are already halfway there, just by admitting it. I had an amazing cowboy trainer who told me. "90% of the time when your horse acts up it's you not the horse". You two are going to have a much stronger bond now and I am so proud of you both. It is a journey together, sometimes it's not so pretty but other times it can be the most magical experience.
Thank you for your honesty, it helps those of us who are afraid of horses, like myself. Im in my 40s now but used to have horses when I was a child. Bad experiences with the horses linked to other abuse gave me terrible PTSD which I never dealt with but just ignored. I was terrified of horses and just stopped riding. 30 years forward and we were given Poppy. A rescue 12 hh pony. The first thing that happened when I held her on the lead one day, was all the body memories coming flooding back and I just stood there sobbing uncontrollably. PTSD is invisible but it is real! I dont know if I ever get over it, but Poppy is very forgiving even though she is a madam LOL Hope you too will heal from your PTSD, take your time and be gentle with yourself and your horse. And pray to Jesus, because He is the only one who can really get rid of our fleshly fears. All the best and God bless
Thank you for posting such an honest video. One of my biggest Ah HA moments with my own horse journey was realizing I was causing my horse a lot of stress by constantly thinking what I wanted *her* to do. A mindset shift of focusing on myself and what *I* needed to be doing in that moment made a world of difference. It's truly amazing how they can essentially read our minds One of the best things about being an equestrian is that it IS a journey, a life long journey, and I look forward to continuing to grow and learn as the decades go by!
Just when I thought I couldn't possibly have more respect for you....I watched this video. You have been such a tremendously practical and helpful horse person to me. "Along life's journey, those souls entrusted to our care will become our greatest teachers."
Huge props to you for putting this out there. I have a handful of a horse myself that got worse before it got better. It took years of me finding trainers, vets, etc. to make sure I'M being the better horseman and he's feeling the best he possibly can. It's been a long journey but between me getting myself right, him finding the treatment he needs, AND him being home now - major difference in our partnership and in his temperament. I was exactly in your shoes and many said "sell, sell, sell" but I dug my heels in knowing deep down I hadn't exhausted all my options yet to make that call. Luckily, all that time, effort, money, etc. was the answer as it has paid off. There are times to sell (especially when it becomes dangerous) and there are times to find other solutions. It's important the community know that there is no shame in either. I'm happy for you and Tuck, good job!
Thanks for being so transparent with your struggle. My mare does well in the ring, but when we go on trail, she gets super anxious. It has taken me a while, but I am realizing that yes, she does get more “up” on trail, but I do too. I am not helping her anxiety. Your video reaffirmed this for me. I will be working on myself in this area! Thanks for all your videos and helpful advice!
Huge respect to you for sharing that story, for not sugarcoating the dark parts of beeing an equestrian. Very touching story. I'm glad you made it and are still a team!
So glad you took the time with yourself and Tucker working together. We never stop learning, and growing together. Not many owners do. I couldn't believe you could give up on dear sweet Tucker and glad you were able to find some trainers that could help you figure this out. Yeah!!! You and Tucker have such a bond.
I'm so glad you've shared this! It makes me feel a lot better to know that such experienced riders can still have some super tough times in their riding journey. ❤
Thank you for sharing your short tough journey - At the moment I am reading a book named " Building a Truly Accountable, High-Performance, High-Growth Life for Yourself and Your Organization" , listening to you connected many dots for me understanding it better. Thank you once again :)
It’s so good to know that someone as experienced as you who has had this horse for so long can be going through this and understand there is always more to learn. I’m glad you guys figured it out and I hope to see you guys as a team for years to come. Take care Carmella
The EXACT same thing happened to me! I bought my gelding Jan 2022 and the first 7 months were fantastic, making progress together. Then, last July I started getting really fearful and my horse must have picked up on that and he got more fidgety, spooky, and less predictable and my confidence was gone. It’s been a viscous cycle the past six months. I can’t say I’m back to 100percent but getting there. I’ve grown so much emotionally as a rider during this time that I’m almost grateful for my fear backsliding because he caused me to reflect on myself so much more and grow as a person and a rider. Hearing your story makes me feel a lot better so thank you for sharing that!
Thank you for making this video. There have been so many times when I have felt that my horse just doesn't like me. I realized that If I was frustrated, nervous or angry that I needed to leave those emotions outside the barn and not near him. He is super sensitive and so am I. He also turns into a jerk if he gets sugared up on grass. Any relationship requires patience and understanding. There never seems to be a shortage of "well meaning" people telling me what to do with my horse.
Thank you so much for finding it within yourself to do some reflective work. As you mentioned, oftentimes we blame the horse and we fail to look within ourselves. Horses are a reflection of us and by being open and search what we contribute to the relationship, we learn to be better partners and our relationship improves. Horses are masters at reading body language. They are also wonderful teachers if we allow them to be and get past our ego. So glad you gave Tucker the opportunity by looking deeper. Thank you for seeking help as oftentimes others may see what we are missing. Our horses deserve it.
I'm so glad you reached out for help with Tucker and that you're able to recognize the issues and work to self-improve. That takes humility, strength and courage. So glad things are working out!
Learning to keep your body without tension and hold your hands soft when your scared is hard. Especially after a bad fall ! But it's true our horses reflect us like a mirror. If we reflect fear, our horses react to that. Getting over the first week is a hurdle maybe even a mountain emotionally. But definitely worth it in the end ❤️
I asked my husband, "was it after your third world championship title, or after winning World Equestrian Games or the second European champion title.. was THAT when you stopped needing a Coach?" He replied, "Never. You never stop needing coaching" So this^^ this is awesome. It shiws your amazing character, heart of a champion. (Hes multiple time world/european/french champion for Vaulting)
What a lovely video. I find so much value in your videos. Started riding 3 years ago after a 27 year break an your videos guided me all the way. Got my own horse a few weeks ago and I am studying your groundwork videos like crazy. You made a big difference in my life and I am very grateful for the time you put in.
Aww! Love that you shared this! So real and personal! Thank you for letting us in on this struggle that I’m sure everyone has or will go through at some point! ❤️ Look forward to seeing what’s next with you and Tucker!!
I don't own a horse but I used to ride when I was younger. Really love watching and learning from your videos. This one has lessons for more than working with a horse. It shows how to be humble and what you might be doing something that stops your forward progress in life. Thanks so much for sharing such an intimate lesson.
Thank you for your honesty. I am in a similar situation. You didn't fail, you did it, you came out togetheron the otherside!! Horses have such a big love for us that they take us where it hurts, and where it hurts, we can grow. I am grateful for your channel, please keep it coming! ❤
Nice Job. Your horses are lucky to have you. We are all life long learners; be proud that you have learned something about yourself and your horse. Wishing you the best 🙂
Thank you for this video. I love the way you reflect about all that, trying to find a solution without giving up, always open to learning new things and accepting that the horse is not the problem. Wich I know is really difficult. You are great 😊❤️
this just confirms what i always thought about you as a owner and a trainer- you are so amazing. honestly, i do not know many people who have the patience to keep going .....i do not think that I would. your such an inspiration. i pray you and tuckers relationship only improves with time.
Thank you so much for being so real. I'm sure many riders can relate to your recent struggles with Tucker. I only recently discovered you but you've been tremendously helpful to me on my recent journey of independence. Blessed be!
Thanks for this video. It helped me right now. I just bought a horse 3 months ago, a little 4 year old mare, to finish its training. She just seems like she has gotten worse since I bought her. I thought I was a good rider. I thought could train a new horse. I am working with a trainer and this has given me hope to keep going forward and to work through the hard times. I think the move was really hard for this horse and I just need to give her space to settle in, not get mad at her, and just be calm. Thanks for being vulnerable to help others also struggling!
Thank you for sharing this with us. It's so important for everyone to remember that horses are a reflection of their humans. I volunteer at a lesson program, we are always telling the kids it's not the horses fault. Someone put that problem into that horse, it's our job to take it back out. Love that you were able to figure out how to repair your relationship with Tucker.
I was about to start scraping my pennies together and race to VA to buy Tucker. I am so glad that you got some outside help and things are back on track. It is a very important message, be sure there isn't a horse health issue, don't blame it on the horse, get the help you both need. Something we should consider in all of our relationships.
Thank you so much for showing us what was going on behind the scenes and being so open with your struggles. I am so glad things are going well with Tucker. We love him and love all your content.
Thank you for your honesty & insights! I'm lucky enough to have an amazing trainer who tells me I'm the reason my horse is doing a,b,c...LOL! It's a good mindset to have as I'm riding, I think "what do I need to be focusing on regarding my positioning/communication to change the horses response." I assumed everyone had this knowledge, but the more I'm learning the more I'm realizing I have an awesome trainer!!
You’re amazing - no one is ever a true master at horse training because horses always have something to teach us. Your transparency is real talk and thank you for being a great example to other equestrians. As an English rider and horse owner, I also learned that the western world has a lot to offer horsemanship-wise. Western riders don’t tend to seek us for horsemanship training, it’s typically us seeking them if anything.. 😅 All humbling, as was your video, and glad you and Tucker are doing better! ❤️
Huge respect on my end. It is always hard to start looking at yourself when something doesn't work out and it is in our nature (sadly) to most of the time look for the cause of problems in others first. This is a big step for you guys as a team and your deveopment and your journey will be a great one, even though it is not an easy one. My now 5yr old mare and I did a 180° turn in our training and handling when we went from negative reinformcement to positive reinforcement after I had a really bad accident, was scared and she was also not happy. I was always a careful person around horses, tried to be as horse friendly as possible till one day I broke down looking at her working with a trainer and pressure and here eyes were so empty, she stood there, nothing of herself left. The trainer was happy, the bystanders were happy that she was reacting so well... I started crying and broke inside. We never went back. We clicker everything now, work with hay cobs as treats and her character came out soooo much. We now have a real bond, she is happy with me, greets me everytime and just wants to learn more and more and actually enjoys it (and I do to), the good and the bad days. Still fighting with my fear here and there, but I give us all the time we need and riding is no focus till he is all grown up (with 6 1/2 to 7, back fused) so we have some time to do everything from the ground and more. :) She is moving way closer to me in 2 weeks so I can see her 5 times a week easily instead of 2-3 times, can't wait. You go! I bet you will become a great team again!
I really appreciate this video. I have had a very similar journey with my pony. It is so nice to hear that someone else has stuck with it and had success!
Thank you for this video! I have been feeling stuck with my horse. I have had thoughts of what if he was better off without me. But I love him to much for me to not change how I am. I get frustrated with him at times like you said. This has helped me feel a lot less alone.
My horse changed with age, he is an lipizzan. He is very trustfully in human and safe. Lipizzan as breed as veŕy slow in development both psysicall and mentally. He is sensitive though and scared as a chicken but as long he has his human his safe. With age he has changed though, from his slow head and body he has become more of taking more in charge if he may and he is more energetic and explosive in his body. He is still the same nice horse, very nice to whoever but his development in personality is really fun. He has become older, but his body and mind tell him othervise. He is only 13 and I hope he keep his spirit for many years to come. I am glad you decided to keep tucker and that things has worked out for you 🙌
Thank you for sharing your story 🧡 I had a similar experience with my horse, Bailee. Bailee was given to me by my sister. She was a green horse and I was a green equestrian. It did not go well. I was frustrated with her almost all the time. She is high strung and anxious, which I didn’t know how handle at the time. I realized I needed help when she started getting aggressive. A friend came alongside me and I learned about the relationship I could have with her. I learned to control my anger and to remain calm.
I’m going through a rough time with my horse also. He started tossing his head while I rode, in the cross ties, everywhere. After a lot of testing we eventually narrowed it down to a health issue. But while we didn’t know it was a health issue, I consistently got more and more frustrated just being around him. I didn’t wanna do lessons or clinics and I was just completely mentally drained from this horse. He is also HUGE and very strong, and as a short human I can assure you he’s hard to ride and even harder to work with when your not equipped. Though we knew we had a health issue, we are still trying to figure what that health issue exactly is. Both me and my horse were completely over each other. I’m still recovering from the funk, and I really really did want to consider selling him and buying a horse that I could have fun with. It really struck home when I realized how much I actually wanted too. I’m pushing through, this horse is my heart horse and I’m trying to convince myself he’s a blessing in disguise. I’m glad you are doing what’s best for Tucker and you, and hope things get brighter in the near future! ❤️
Thank you for posting this I struggled in the fall of 2022 with my horse where our connection was tested. He was alway anxious. I felt like I had run through a million options. I was having no fun riding or being with him. Than I decided to switch barns and get a new trainer to get a different perspective and I swear these last two months while slightly stressful from the move but it has been such an improvement is our riding in our relationship and we aren’t full back to where we were but we are getting there.
A friend shared this video with my today. Your message in this video hit home and is exactly how I’m feeling at the moment. What you say is truth and I know this but as I got older I forgot what I needed to do. I’m just finding that with my age, it’s harder to rid myself of the anxiety I’m feeling. I just need to watch this before every ride ❤
Awesome video, thank you ☺️ you show a great level of maturity. I enjoy your videos because you are about your relationship with your horse, not about chasing ribbons. Keep it up and give those ponies a hug and a carrot from me in NZ! 🇳🇿🐴🍏🍎
Thank you for your honesty. It’s good to see that trainers go through what I go through. I came to the same conclusion - what’s going on with us is all me. Not him. Glad you two are working it out. So are me and my boy and I look forward to our journey together - finally.
WOW. Just WOW! You are amazing, Carmella!! I’m so impressed by everything that you said and the way that you approach horsemanship. Thank you for your brutal honesty!!
Glad to learn that you don't blame your horse or call him names or punish him. Many dog owners fail to look at themselves and the effect their attitude has on their best friend too. Best wishes!
I love this video and how candid it is. I'm not ready yet - but in a few years I plan to get my own horse for the first time. In the meantime I'm soaking up information like a sponge! I like videos like this that present real problems and possible solutions, and that having a horse isn't always sunshine and rainbows.
Very helpful! The hardest thing to overcome is to not react when your horse does something you don't like. I have a lot of experience in trying to overcome this. Glad you were able to work through it.!
Wow that's amazing to share your honesty, Infront of the whole world. And it's okay to have some hard times when riding because no one will ever be perfect at it. Great job! 👍🐎
It is amazing to see this vulnerable, truthful, and humble video about horse ownership! I am 44 and don’t own a horse and I watch your videos because you are an awesome human being and your videos make me learn the good and the bad. And you are funny and such a down to earth person and I like real people! I have taken lessons in the last year and still dream of owning a horse one day. And you inspire me and keep it real for someone like me who has never owned one to know how tough the journey can be. That is important. It’s so good for people of all ages to see stuff like this that shows the ups and downs and real struggles. But it’s also one of the reasons I am drawn to horses…look at what Tucker has taught you, and what you have taught him. Wow…and I feel now that your bond will be even stronger now and that is what is beautiful! Thank you for doing what you do and sharing it with us…and the best to you and Tucker. I’m so glad you were able to work through it and both get to a better place 😄
I experienced the same thing.. I was getting so disappointed and frustrated with my young horse and was so close to giving up and selling him. Until, the day a prospective buyer was going to come and take a look at him and he decided that was the day he'd join up with me as I was lunging him to prepare for the buyers visit. And I realized his behavior was a result of my anxiety and energy. Such a great lesson in perseverance and working hard! I look forward to continuing my training with him and being able to look back at those frustrating moments with pride that we overcame them.
I completely understand. I’ve had similar experiences with my mare and as of yesterday, she had one of her “moments “ and I was flung off her back. I got back on and she was fine. I’m glad you stayed in the fight and got some help for both of you.
I think this is amazing and I am glad she shared this and I feel like I am not alone in my rider anxiety. I am working with a amazing lesson barn and it has helped my confidence and in turn has helped me with my horses.
Yes!! ❤ I love this message. When I first got Hana, it was HARD. She was a rescue puppy. My dog from growing up was a rescue too but she had been rehabbed by a foster before I got her and Hana hadn’t. So I really didn’t know what I was getting myself into. (Through no fault of her own) she was so terribly behaved the first couple weeks, and none of the training techniques I used with my dog from growing up were working. I was literally crying in my room every night like “wtf is happening why isn’t this working?” So then my friend told me that Petco does free initial consultations for online dog training (this sounds like an ad lol it’s not) and so I signed right up. And immediately the trainer understood what was happening and empathized with my feelings and we made plans on how to train Hana. And just as you said it was lots of desensitizing and adjusting things on my end. It’s been constant constant work. We still practice things everyday like how to walk away from barking dogs without panicking etc. Good on you!
Thank you for thatching. I am just realising the same thing with my mare. I can work on the ground with no problems but due to accidents in my youth and not been so young now I am the one with the problem to get on her back. After watching this I am going for riding lessons.
First, I am so sorry that there was a break in your relationship with Tucker. Life is pretty crazy. When you look at your horse you always have to step back and into a different zone because it’s not their fault that life is crazy. I’m glad you did a moment to self reflect. I am also very happy to hear that Tucker and you have made amends and are starting a new. Huge fan!
You humble sweet person!! Yes, I totally understand everything you stated. I’ve had my 24 year old mare for 17 years. She is amazing with all the wonderful groundwork, but I also have had those moments of realizing no matter how old a horse, or how experienced like it’s been said horsemanship is a journey not a destination! We journey on!!❤
I resonate a lot with this. I would say that it’s important to make sure that a vet is consulted first just to make sure that it isn’t something physical. Not all pain can be seen. With that said, I had a bad fall with my horse. A freak accident which resulted in a broken back. He can be very spooky with me, whereas he is very different with my husband. Horses very much listen to us and when we are tense, they become tense - it then becomes a downward spiral. I totally get it. I’m working on myself and I try to be much more self aware. Very good video.
Thank you for being open and honest about your journey and struggles. I admire your humility and honesty. 😊I too know the struggle that we as horse girls go through. I had a difficult challenge with my first horse where he was an aggressive Alfa to me. It was my actions that he responded to. I first had to learn how to control my emotions and grow in confidence in order to work with him. My current horse is the polar opposite of my first horse and this has been a huge learning curve for me. I needed to and am still working on learning to relax and trust him so that he can relax and trust me. We are working better as a team but it has been a challenge for both of us. I also understand the frustration and stress you have gone through, and it is tough to keep those emotions under control when working with horses. Lord knows I have ending many training sessions in tears! I am glad that things seem to be working out with Tucker 🥰 It was also good for me to hear that I am not the only one dealing with this!!!! Again love that you keep things real, this video was admirable. loved your words! ❤
Love your honesty!!! I too ( i have to think most horse people) have experienced what your taliking about. My horse is tb cross and we have had our times!! but i realized he was my best teacher!!!!! He mirrored everything! From my anxiety to if i did or did not execute and exercise correctly i would really look at myself and try and figgure out what i did wrong-it was slow going for a few years but i wouldn't quit and because of that willingness to look at myself he and i are still together-best horse ever! and he's now 22 yr.'s old:)
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Love your honesty! It's so refreshing for us less experienced horse owners to hear.
Not only for the less experienced! I would say I'm a bit more experienced (18 years of being an equestrian) and I still make mistakes and I still need an advice from a trainer sometimes so it's reassuring to hear it's normal and even the more experienced equesrians can ge to a situaion the need help with:))
"I realized I was the problem and had to fix me first" to a lot of people sounds like a cliche but with horses it is 10,000% true.
They are so perceptive and can pick up on something so small we wouldn't even think it was a "something".
Uber kudos to this young woman for being so open about her journey, I hope it helps someone (or many someones) else.
All animals. Dogs too. Dog trainers don't train dogs, they train people. And, you can get into a vicious circle where your own anxiety that, say, a dog will try to attack (say) other dogs consistently triggers such attacks. That lies behind alot of unsure and therefore "aggressive" dog behavior out there -- stressed, anxious owners. Our poor animals, it's not easy for them!
Very open words - thank you so much for sharing this difficult period with us! Maybe from time to time we all go through such thoughts with our horse... Before we recognize that the problem is founded in ourselves and wouldn't change with a new horse. Happy to hear that you keep Tucker. We should thank the horses for teaching us something about ourselves 😊
You scared me so bad! But I do think we all need to hear this thank you for this❤ I hope you know that you know how much we appreciate you filming though these hard times. Tucker is going to be an amazing horse
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Aww, I’m so glad that you’re working things out with Tucker. He seems like such a sweet boy. ❤
I looked up "sweetheart" in the dictionary and your picture was there. Very hard to find unbridled honesty out there anymore, and I for one greatly appreciate it. I learned more about horses in this one vlog than any other. Signed: City Slicker.
This kind of honesty is so needed in the horse world. I've had horses in my life for over 50 years now, with time out for college, marriage and family. I have learned a great deal from your videos, especially about ground work. I'm working with a new, green horse, havo g lost my mount of 24 years in 2021. I can so relate to your experience of getting anxious and, frankly afraid, of a horse. I will hold onto your story of working on you to work on your horse. Thank you.
I'm having the exact same problem with my horse. We almost sold him, but we decided not to. We gave him a break for a bit, and now he's doing way better now. I think we both needed a break too, because I would get frustrated with him. Obviously it's not the same for every horse. I'm glad you didn't let go of Tucker, you guys are great! I can't wait for what's coming!
Carmella, thanks for your transparency. I'm sure it must have been difficult to be so vulnerable on this platform. Especially since you create training videos & your channel name is equine helper. How brave of you to put yourself out there like this. How awesome that you sought out the help from an outside source. You didn't allow the english/western riding to get in the way of helping yourself help Tucker. That, young lady, shows maturity and humility. Two REALLY good character traits to have. I watch your channel for not only the horse content, but also your personality. I love how you aren't afraid of being a little "goofy," like dressing up in a horse costume, to share some insight on horsey antics. You are genuine, which is what I was looking for in a horse tip channel. One of the 1st videos I watched of yours was you demonstrating how to put a rope halter on a horse. I think it might have been Bella, coat was white, if my old lady memory is working. Anyway, she took off on you before you could get the shoot finished. Instead of editing it out, you left it in. That video played a big part in me subscribing. You're genuine & down right funny at times. There are TONS of horsey channels out there, but few who speak to my needs. I'm not tuned in to see horses & trainers getting it right each & every time. I like the levity. When we can laugh at things that don't turn out like we invisioned, it allows us to take a breath & try again. Sorry for the novel here, just hoping to encourage you like you have encouraged me as a 50+yr old newbie horse owner to not be afraid to try & I see from your own examples that if it doesn't happen on the 1st try, I can allow myself freedom to try again, & laugh at myself when I or my horse aren't perfect in execution.
Love all the honesty! My mom always tells me “Don’t be nervous, the horses sense when your scared or nervous. You feeling scared makes them scared. Remember, trust your horse.”
I am beyond proud of you. To admit that you were the problem, is the biggest step, trust me. You and your horse are already halfway there, just by admitting it. I had an amazing cowboy trainer who told me. "90% of the time when your horse acts up it's you not the horse". You two are going to have a much stronger bond now and I am so proud of you both. It is a journey together, sometimes it's not so pretty but other times it can be the most magical experience.
Thank you for your honesty, it helps those of us who are afraid of horses, like myself. Im in my 40s now but used to have horses when I was a child. Bad experiences with the horses linked to other abuse gave me terrible PTSD which I never dealt with but just ignored.
I was terrified of horses and just stopped riding. 30 years forward and we were given Poppy. A rescue 12 hh pony.
The first thing that happened when I held her on the lead one day, was all the body memories coming flooding back and I just stood there sobbing uncontrollably.
PTSD is invisible but it is real! I dont know if I ever get over it, but Poppy is very forgiving even though she is a madam LOL
Hope you too will heal from your PTSD, take your time and be gentle with yourself and your horse. And pray to Jesus, because He is the only one who can really get rid of our fleshly fears.
All the best and God bless
😢
Amen....
i have ptsd not from horses from a person :D
Thank you for posting such an honest video. One of my biggest Ah HA moments with my own horse journey was realizing I was causing my horse a lot of stress by constantly thinking what I wanted *her* to do. A mindset shift of focusing on myself and what *I* needed to be doing in that moment made a world of difference. It's truly amazing how they can essentially read our minds
One of the best things about being an equestrian is that it IS a journey, a life long journey, and I look forward to continuing to grow and learn as the decades go by!
Just when I thought I couldn't possibly have more respect for you....I watched this video. You have been such a tremendously practical and helpful horse person to me. "Along life's journey, those souls entrusted to our care will become our greatest teachers."
Huge props to you for putting this out there. I have a handful of a horse myself that got worse before it got better. It took years of me finding trainers, vets, etc. to make sure I'M being the better horseman and he's feeling the best he possibly can. It's been a long journey but between me getting myself right, him finding the treatment he needs, AND him being home now - major difference in our partnership and in his temperament. I was exactly in your shoes and many said "sell, sell, sell" but I dug my heels in knowing deep down I hadn't exhausted all my options yet to make that call. Luckily, all that time, effort, money, etc. was the answer as it has paid off. There are times to sell (especially when it becomes dangerous) and there are times to find other solutions. It's important the community know that there is no shame in either. I'm happy for you and Tuck, good job!
Thanks for being so transparent with your struggle. My mare does well in the ring, but when we go on trail, she gets super anxious. It has taken me a while, but I am realizing that yes, she does get more “up” on trail, but I do too. I am not helping her anxiety. Your video reaffirmed this for me. I will be working on myself in this area! Thanks for all your videos and helpful advice!
Huge respect to you for sharing that story, for not sugarcoating the dark parts of beeing an equestrian.
Very touching story.
I'm glad you made it and are still a team!
Thank you for being so humble.❤
So glad you took the time with yourself and Tucker working together. We never stop learning, and growing together. Not many owners do. I couldn't believe you could give up on dear sweet Tucker and glad you were able to find some trainers that could help you figure this out. Yeah!!! You and Tucker have such a bond.
I'm so glad you've shared this! It makes me feel a lot better to know that such experienced riders can still have some super tough times in their riding journey. ❤
Thanks for being willing to get vulnerable about the struggles in horsemanship sometimes 👍
Bless you and your journey with Tucker and all the horses and people whose lives you touch. Including mine!
This was an awesome video! Very real! Loved it. Every horse owner should hear this message! So glad you kept Tucker. He’s amazing! 💙🐴❣️
Thank you for sharing your short tough journey - At the moment I am reading a book named " Building a Truly Accountable, High-Performance, High-Growth Life for Yourself and Your Organization" , listening to you connected many dots for me understanding it better. Thank you once again :)
It’s so good to know that someone as experienced as you who has had this horse for so long can be going through this and understand there is always more to learn. I’m glad you guys figured it out and I hope to see you guys as a team for years to come. Take care Carmella
The EXACT same thing happened to me! I bought my gelding Jan 2022 and the first 7 months were fantastic, making progress together. Then, last July I started getting really fearful and my horse must have picked up on that and he got more fidgety, spooky, and less predictable and my confidence was gone. It’s been a viscous cycle the past six months. I can’t say I’m back to 100percent but getting there. I’ve grown so much emotionally as a rider during this time that I’m almost grateful for my fear backsliding because he caused me to reflect on myself so much more and grow as a person and a rider. Hearing your story makes me feel a lot better so thank you for sharing that!
Thank you for making this video. There have been so many times when I have felt that my horse just doesn't like me. I realized that If I was frustrated, nervous or angry that I needed to leave those emotions outside the barn and not near him. He is super sensitive and so am I. He also turns into a jerk if he gets sugared up on grass. Any relationship requires patience and understanding. There never seems to be a shortage of "well meaning" people telling me what to do with my horse.
Thank you so much for finding it within yourself to do some reflective work. As you mentioned, oftentimes we blame the horse and we fail to look within ourselves. Horses are a reflection of us and by being open and search what we contribute to the relationship, we learn to be better partners and our relationship improves. Horses are masters at reading body language. They are also wonderful teachers if we allow them to be and get past our ego. So glad you gave Tucker the opportunity by looking deeper. Thank you for seeking help as oftentimes others may see what we are missing. Our horses deserve it.
I'm so glad you reached out for help with Tucker and that you're able to recognize the issues and work to self-improve. That takes humility, strength and courage. So glad things are working out!
Thank you for having the courage to share this with all of us! I am so happy you and Tucker have made it through a tough time.
Thank you for your pure honesty. ❤
Learning to keep your body without tension and hold your hands soft when your scared is hard. Especially after a bad fall ! But it's true our horses reflect us like a mirror. If we reflect fear, our horses react to that. Getting over the first week is a hurdle maybe even a mountain emotionally. But definitely worth it in the end ❤️
I asked my husband, "was it after your third world championship title, or after winning World Equestrian Games or the second European champion title.. was THAT when you stopped needing a Coach?"
He replied, "Never. You never stop needing coaching"
So this^^ this is awesome. It shiws your amazing character, heart of a champion.
(Hes multiple time world/european/french champion for Vaulting)
What a lovely video. I find so much value in your videos. Started riding 3 years ago after a 27 year break an your videos guided me all the way. Got my own horse a few weeks ago and I am studying your groundwork videos like crazy. You made a big difference in my life and I am very grateful for the time you put in.
As a new rider, this was a beautiful video to listen to and watch. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability and honesty ❤
Aww! Love that you shared this! So real and personal! Thank you for letting us in on this struggle that I’m sure everyone has or will go through at some point! ❤️
Look forward to seeing what’s next with you and Tucker!!
I don't own a horse but I used to ride when I was younger. Really love watching and learning from your videos. This one has lessons for more than working with a horse. It shows how to be humble and what you might be doing something that stops your forward progress in life. Thanks so much for sharing such an intimate lesson.
Thank you for your honesty. I am in a similar situation. You didn't fail, you did it, you came out togetheron the otherside!! Horses have such a big love for us that they take us where it hurts, and where it hurts, we can grow. I am grateful for your channel, please keep it coming! ❤
Nice Job. Your horses are lucky to have you. We are all life long learners; be proud that you have learned something about yourself and your horse. Wishing you the best 🙂
I love your story and how you didn't sugar coated anything, because honestly and trust goes a long way. Good Luck on your adventures 😊
Awwww! I love it! I'm so glad you two got through that! You and Tucker are a great team!
You & Tucker are true partners--teaching & learning from & with one another.
Thank you for this video. I love the way you reflect about all that, trying to find a solution without giving up, always open to learning new things and accepting that the horse is not the problem. Wich I know is really difficult. You are great 😊❤️
What a beautiful heartfelt video. Thank you so much for sharing! 💖
this just confirms what i always thought about you as a owner and a trainer- you are so amazing. honestly, i do not know many people who have the patience to keep going .....i do not think that I would. your such an inspiration. i pray you and tuckers relationship only improves with time.
Great message! Love it!
Thank you so much for being so real. I'm sure many riders can relate to your recent struggles with Tucker. I only recently discovered you but you've been tremendously helpful to me on my recent journey of independence. Blessed be!
Thanks for this video. It helped me right now. I just bought a horse 3 months ago, a little 4 year old mare, to finish its training. She just seems like she has gotten worse since I bought her. I thought I was a good rider. I thought could train a new horse. I am working with a trainer and this has given me hope to keep going forward and to work through the hard times. I think the move was really hard for this horse and I just need to give her space to settle in, not get mad at her, and just be calm. Thanks for being vulnerable to help others also struggling!
Thank you for sharing this with us. It's so important for everyone to remember that horses are a reflection of their humans. I volunteer at a lesson program, we are always telling the kids it's not the horses fault. Someone put that problem into that horse, it's our job to take it back out. Love that you were able to figure out how to repair your relationship with Tucker.
I was about to start scraping my pennies together and race to VA to buy Tucker. I am so glad that you got some outside help and things are back on track. It is a very important message, be sure there isn't a horse health issue, don't blame it on the horse, get the help you both need. Something we should consider in all of our relationships.
Thank you so much for showing us what was going on behind the scenes and being so open with your struggles. I am so glad things are going well with Tucker. We love him and love all your content.
Aww, thank you for sharing. I'm sure it was tough on you to realize you had to change. I'm so happy you and Tucker are doing so good together again!!!
Thank you for your honesty & insights! I'm lucky enough to have an amazing trainer who tells me I'm the reason my horse is doing a,b,c...LOL! It's a good mindset to have as I'm riding, I think "what do I need to be focusing on regarding my positioning/communication to change the horses response." I assumed everyone had this knowledge, but the more I'm learning the more I'm realizing I have an awesome trainer!!
You’re amazing - no one is ever a true master at horse training because horses always have something to teach us. Your transparency is real talk and thank you for being a great example to other equestrians. As an English rider and horse owner, I also learned that the western world has a lot to offer horsemanship-wise. Western riders don’t tend to seek us for horsemanship training, it’s typically us seeking them if anything.. 😅 All humbling, as was your video, and glad you and Tucker are doing better! ❤️
Thanks for this, really admire your honesty and really like this series.
Thanks so much for your honesty and sharing your journey. 🤩
Huge respect on my end. It is always hard to start looking at yourself when something doesn't work out and it is in our nature (sadly) to most of the time look for the cause of problems in others first. This is a big step for you guys as a team and your deveopment and your journey will be a great one, even though it is not an easy one. My now 5yr old mare and I did a 180° turn in our training and handling when we went from negative reinformcement to positive reinforcement after I had a really bad accident, was scared and she was also not happy. I was always a careful person around horses, tried to be as horse friendly as possible till one day I broke down looking at her working with a trainer and pressure and here eyes were so empty, she stood there, nothing of herself left. The trainer was happy, the bystanders were happy that she was reacting so well... I started crying and broke inside. We never went back. We clicker everything now, work with hay cobs as treats and her character came out soooo much. We now have a real bond, she is happy with me, greets me everytime and just wants to learn more and more and actually enjoys it (and I do to), the good and the bad days. Still fighting with my fear here and there, but I give us all the time we need and riding is no focus till he is all grown up (with 6 1/2 to 7, back fused) so we have some time to do everything from the ground and more. :) She is moving way closer to me in 2 weeks so I can see her 5 times a week easily instead of 2-3 times, can't wait.
You go! I bet you will become a great team again!
Made me cry. Thank you!
Sooo happy u2 are reconnecting ❤❤❤
I really appreciate this video. I have had a very similar journey with my pony. It is so nice to hear that someone else has stuck with it and had success!
Thank you for this video! I have been feeling stuck with my horse. I have had thoughts of what if he was better off without me. But I love him to much for me to not change how I am. I get frustrated with him at times like you said. This has helped me feel a lot less alone.
Happy you two are still a team.
My horse changed with age, he is an lipizzan. He is very trustfully in human and safe. Lipizzan as breed as veŕy slow in development both psysicall and mentally. He is sensitive though and scared as a chicken but as long he has his human his safe. With age he has changed though, from his slow head and body he has become more of taking more in charge if he may and he is more energetic and explosive in his body. He is still the same nice horse, very nice to whoever but his development in personality is really fun. He has become older, but his body and mind tell him othervise. He is only 13 and I hope he keep his spirit for many years to come.
I am glad you decided to keep tucker and that things has worked out for you 🙌
Thank you for sharing your story 🧡 I had a similar experience with my horse, Bailee. Bailee was given to me by my sister. She was a green horse and I was a green equestrian. It did not go well. I was frustrated with her almost all the time. She is high strung and anxious, which I didn’t know how handle at the time. I realized I needed help when she started getting aggressive. A friend came alongside me and I learned about the relationship I could have with her. I learned to control my anger and to remain calm.
Oh my! Thank you so much for sharing this. ♥️ I am going through a similar situation with my horse. Can’t wait to see more videos with you and Tucker.
I’m going through a rough time with my horse also. He started tossing his head while I rode, in the cross ties, everywhere. After a lot of testing we eventually narrowed it down to a health issue. But while we didn’t know it was a health issue, I consistently got more and more frustrated just being around him. I didn’t wanna do lessons or clinics and I was just completely mentally drained from this horse. He is also HUGE and very strong, and as a short human I can assure you he’s hard to ride and even harder to work with when your not equipped. Though we knew we had a health issue, we are still trying to figure what that health issue exactly is. Both me and my horse were completely over each other. I’m still recovering from the funk, and I really really did want to consider selling him and buying a horse that I could have fun with. It really struck home when I realized how much I actually wanted too. I’m pushing through, this horse is my heart horse and I’m trying to convince myself he’s a blessing in disguise. I’m glad you are doing what’s best for Tucker and you, and hope things get brighter in the near future! ❤️
I'm so happy you are keeping Tucker.
Thank you for posting this I struggled in the fall of 2022 with my horse where our connection was tested. He was alway anxious. I felt like I had run through a million options. I was having no fun riding or being with him. Than I decided to switch barns and get a new trainer to get a different perspective and I swear these last two months while slightly stressful from the move but it has been such an improvement is our riding in our relationship and we aren’t full back to where we were but we are getting there.
A friend shared this video with my today. Your message in this video hit home and is exactly how I’m feeling at the moment. What you say is truth and I know this but as I got older I forgot what I needed to do. I’m just finding that with my age, it’s harder to rid myself of the anxiety I’m feeling. I just need to watch this before every ride ❤
Awesome video, thank you ☺️ you show a great level of maturity. I enjoy your videos because you are about your relationship with your horse, not about chasing ribbons. Keep it up and give those ponies a hug and a carrot from me in NZ! 🇳🇿🐴🍏🍎
Thank you for your honesty. It’s good to see that trainers go through what I go through. I came to the same conclusion - what’s going on with us is all me. Not him. Glad you two are working it out. So are me and my boy and I look forward to our journey together - finally.
I'm so sorry, you looked so good together
WOW. Just WOW! You are amazing, Carmella!! I’m so impressed by everything that you said and the way that you approach horsemanship. Thank you for your brutal honesty!!
Thank you for sharing! It helps to know that I am not the only one struggling!
Glad to learn that you don't blame your horse or call him names or punish him. Many dog owners fail to look at themselves and the effect their attitude has on their best friend too. Best wishes!
I'm impressed with your commitment to your pony.
I'm also impressed with how quiet your lower leg is. ❤
Love You and Tucker.❤
Your honesty makes me feel so much safer and gives me the gentle nudge I need to work on myself.
Thank you so so much for this important message
I am so sorry. I am glad you shard this time of your life with us. we are hear for you!!!!!
I love this video and how candid it is. I'm not ready yet - but in a few years I plan to get my own horse for the first time. In the meantime I'm soaking up information like a sponge! I like videos like this that present real problems and possible solutions, and that having a horse isn't always sunshine and rainbows.
Very helpful! The hardest thing to overcome is to not react when your horse does something you don't like. I have a lot of experience in trying to overcome this. Glad you were able to work through it.!
Wow that's amazing to share your honesty, Infront of the whole world. And it's okay to have some hard times when riding because no one will ever be perfect at it. Great job! 👍🐎
How refreshing and relatable. Bottom line is our relationship and that takes work as well as training exercises ❤💚
It is amazing to see this vulnerable, truthful, and humble video about horse ownership! I am 44 and don’t own a horse and I watch your videos because you are an awesome human being and your videos make me learn the good and the bad. And you are funny and such a down to earth person and I like real people! I have taken lessons in the last year and still dream of owning a horse one day. And you inspire me and keep it real for someone like me who has never owned one to know how tough the journey can be. That is important. It’s so good for people of all ages to see stuff like this that shows the ups and downs and real struggles. But it’s also one of the reasons I am drawn to horses…look at what Tucker has taught you, and what you have taught him. Wow…and I feel now that your bond will be even stronger now and that is what is beautiful! Thank you for doing what you do and sharing it with us…and the best to you and Tucker. I’m so glad you were able to work through it and both get to a better place 😄
I experienced the same thing.. I was getting so disappointed and frustrated with my young horse and was so close to giving up and selling him. Until, the day a prospective buyer was going to come and take a look at him and he decided that was the day he'd join up with me as I was lunging him to prepare for the buyers visit. And I realized his behavior was a result of my anxiety and energy. Such a great lesson in perseverance and working hard! I look forward to continuing my training with him and being able to look back at those frustrating moments with pride that we overcame them.
I completely understand. I’ve had similar experiences with my mare and as of yesterday, she had one of her “moments “ and I was flung off her back. I got back on and she was fine. I’m glad you stayed in the fight and got some help for both of you.
Wow, how could the Equine Helper need help?? That was a great testimony Carm. Glad things worked out. I'll stay tuned for you and Tuck!
Tucker taught you baby girl! Nothing but blue skies from now on!!!
I think this is amazing and I am glad she shared this and I feel like I am not alone in my rider anxiety. I am working with a amazing lesson barn and it has helped my confidence and in turn has helped me with my horses.
Yes!! ❤ I love this message. When I first got Hana, it was HARD. She was a rescue puppy. My dog from growing up was a rescue too but she had been rehabbed by a foster before I got her and Hana hadn’t. So I really didn’t know what I was getting myself into. (Through no fault of her own) she was so terribly behaved the first couple weeks, and none of the training techniques I used with my dog from growing up were working. I was literally crying in my room every night like “wtf is happening why isn’t this working?”
So then my friend told me that Petco does free initial consultations for online dog training (this sounds like an ad lol it’s not) and so I signed right up. And immediately the trainer understood what was happening and empathized with my feelings and we made plans on how to train Hana.
And just as you said it was lots of desensitizing and adjusting things on my end. It’s been constant constant work.
We still practice things everyday like how to walk away from barking dogs without panicking etc.
Good on you!
Love your honesty. Thank you.
Thank you for thatching. I am just realising the same thing with my mare. I can work on the ground with no problems but due to accidents in my youth and not been so young now I am the one with the problem to get on her back. After watching this I am going for riding lessons.
I wish people could understand that animals feel the same as us. Thanks for sharing, and glad you are keeping Tucker.
Amazing story. Everyone has been through this - thanks so much for sharing the story. ❤
Thank you soo much! 🙏❤
First, I am so sorry that there was a break in your relationship with Tucker. Life is pretty crazy. When you look at your horse you always have to step back and into a different zone because it’s not their fault that life is crazy. I’m glad you did a moment to self reflect. I am also very happy to hear that Tucker and you have made amends and are starting a new. Huge fan!
You humble sweet person!! Yes, I totally understand everything you stated. I’ve had my 24 year old mare for 17 years. She is amazing with all the wonderful groundwork, but I also have had those moments of realizing no matter how old a horse, or how experienced like it’s been said horsemanship is a journey not a destination!
We journey on!!❤
I resonate a lot with this. I would say that it’s important to make sure that a vet is consulted first just to make sure that it isn’t something physical. Not all pain can be seen. With that said, I had a bad fall with my horse. A freak accident which resulted in a broken back. He can be very spooky with me, whereas he is very different with my husband. Horses very much listen to us and when we are tense, they become tense - it then becomes a downward spiral. I totally get it. I’m working on myself and I try to be much more self aware. Very good video.
Thank you for being open and honest about your journey and struggles. I admire your humility and honesty. 😊I too know the struggle that we as horse girls go through. I had a difficult challenge with my first horse where he was an aggressive Alfa to me. It was my actions that he responded to. I first had to learn how to control my emotions and grow in confidence in order to work with him. My current horse is the polar opposite of my first horse and this has been a huge learning curve for me. I needed to and am still working on learning to relax and trust him so that he can relax and trust me. We are working better as a team but it has been a challenge for both of us. I also understand the frustration and stress you have gone through, and it is tough to keep those emotions under control when working with horses. Lord knows I have ending many training sessions in tears! I am glad that things seem to be working out with Tucker 🥰 It was also good for me to hear that I am not the only one dealing with this!!!! Again love that you keep things real, this video was admirable. loved your words! ❤
Love your honesty!!! I too ( i have to think most horse people) have experienced what your taliking about. My horse is tb cross and we have had our times!! but i realized he was my best teacher!!!!! He mirrored everything! From my anxiety to if i did or did not execute and exercise correctly i would really look at myself and try and figgure out what i did wrong-it was slow going for a few years but i wouldn't quit and because of that willingness to look at myself he and i are still together-best horse ever! and he's now 22 yr.'s old:)