Agreed 100%. When my children started high school I told them if they forget something at home they have to suffer the consequences. They have done it once & have never done it again. It taught them responsibility. My kids curfew is 11pm on the weekend. I have told the kids that nothing good has happen after 11pm on the roads. They saw this first hand when an accident happened and someone lost their life. They now are also firm believers in it as well & I have heard them telling this to their friends. Teach your kids love, respect & responsibility. They will grow into young successful adults. They become proud of their accomplishments within themselves. If more parents "parented" our society would be in such a better place. 👍🏻
Excellent ideas! Stay the course it will be worth the time and investment in their future! Our youngest son (now 27) skipped over Grade 6 and it was crucial that we stayed on top of this with the teacher to make sure he was succsssful, happy and mentally healthy. All 3 of our kids grew up to be planners, savers and so far great parents who now in turn are building these skills in our gbabies! These are important lifeskills and while parenting choices aren't always valued in the moment....you really see the rewards of what you are doing when you watch them parent the next generation. Heads up... parenting them to be good parents is the "reward" for the structured approach you are taking. Organization and personal stress management are crucial to lifelong health and wellness!!!!! Stay the course!!!!!!
I agree about listening to Classical music! I began listening to it (against my wishes at the time) at the age of 14. Eventually I got used to it. Today, however, with four grown children out of the nest, we continue to play it most days as background music. Our guests often notice, and comment that they should start playing it in their home! There are many links online supporting your suggestion!
I'm not a parent, but as an educator, organization and preparedness are valuable skills for kids to learn. Freshman year at college is a big adjustment for kids, and although it may take some time to kick in, these skills will make a huge difference. Good luck! Sandra
As a recently graduated senior in high school and a college freshman, I wish my parents had helped engrave the some of the skills needed for success in me. I think what you did was great and will help immensely. Try and spend as much time with him as possible before he leaves, senior year flies by and as much as we hate to admit it we will miss our parents when we go to college!! Love your videos.
Awesome plans! Two other things my mom did with all of us kids male & female was: 1) taught us 5 simple, healthy meals we could make, so when we weren't in the dorm, we could survive on real food, not processed. 2) we did our own laundry. I remember teaching a girl on my floor Freshman year, because mom or the maid did all that for her, she was really embarrassed and didn't want anyone to know she didn't know how. Her roommate had to show her how to make her bed.
Marnie I never comment on videos but I just wanted to tell you that you and Michael are in the same place as my husband and I and I feel the stress of having a Senior. We have an 18year old and a 15 year old oh and a happy accident that is 8! He has had those moments of slacking as parents and now at the end of my sons high school life we want to ensure he is set up for success in college and then in life. It is difficult and exhausting. He also has ADHD which can make the struggle even more challenging at times. This video gave me a little relief knowing I was not the only parent dealing with these organizational struggles with my kids.
I'm sitting here at 11pm Monday night here in NZ, with my kids phones on my lap, as we have implemented the no phones in their room due to not choosing to leave them alone, when they should be sleeping. As to the natural consequences for forgetting something, I'm with you. I am sure if they do forget something, it won't happen too often once they realize how important is to remember it's on them. Once they're out in the world, there is probably not going to be anyone that can run to them with what they forgot, so better to learn it now than later! Real good advice, I love these M&M videos!
I think your strategies are right on the money. We are following much of the same approach with our daughter who is a freshman. Getting very proactive and then backing off as they assume the responsibility and develop the habits is a great approach to so many parenting issues!! I'd love to see a follow up video with real life applications to the boys' push-back and acceptance of all the "must do's." And way to go, Marnie, for not enabling their unorganized behavior by rescuing them. It is so hard to be strong when faced with the panic-driven text of "I forgot....can you bring me..?" LOL! Stay strong!! By the way, we also take the phone away and keep it in our room every school night. I'm amazed at the difference that only that one action can make - and at how many parents are afraid to do it. Thanks you two!
Yes! Rephrasing is def a mom thing!! Dad's typically are tougher...and I am so big on turning negativity into positivity! It's much more encouraging :)) xoxo
+andrea parrish (andi) And yes...I always set up the outfits and school papers(signed and ready), I go over my eldest's planner/agends and sign and always let the reprive happen when they get home(snack, catch a breather and I also do a spinal cleanse), then: homework.......I do let my kids listen to music and I believe as long as positive (no rap no screamo and no country) it's uplifting. IMO. No phones for my kids YET lol but I could not agree more with the bar you've set for your children!! I play classical music much of the time jsyk just because its soothing and I like it!
I recently went back to community college to get my AS in Business and I will be using these tips! The agenda will be really helpful for me because I work and go to school full time and half my classes are all online based. Due to my lack of organization, I missed an assignment for one of those classes. :/ With adjustments, these tips can help anyone that wants to be more organized in their daily lives. :)
ACCOUNTABILITY!!! YESSSSS!!! When I forget things, I am out of luck. Organization is such a daily struggle for me and I fear that my kids will fall into that same struggle. I have a calendar for daily chores for the 6th and 3rd grader and then we make it a point to check homework every night. Awesome tips on study in the same space. This is really a great video and I have been enjoying this series! Thanks so much!
Such a smart video to make guys. Both of my daughters are teachers and some of their stories are heartbreaking. Kids are being ignored today and left to the own devices which we all know often leads to failure. I like your ideas. I hope some of your followers will use your advice with their young kiddos. It could make a huge difference in everyone's life. Yes, it will be work, hard work. It is not for the lazy, but the payoff could be tremendous.. Now on to a consequence story. When my oldest daughter was in junior high, I began a process of making her responsible for getting up with her own alarm clock. I had gotten tired of climbing the staircase multiple times to wake her each morning. As expected it did not go well. Time and time again, she did not get out of bed when the alarm sounded. One day I decided she would go to school in her PJ's .....yes they were extremely modest..... without a bath and no makeup. That's all it took. She was cured....lol.
As a teacher and parent I think this is fantastic! Kids needs to learn how to study, organize and keep their lives stress free. If they aren't taught many never learn these skills. My best to both of you! Your sons are very lucky!
Bravo for being proactive parents to young adults! So many parents around us are constantly reacting...everything is chaotic and filled with drama and angst.Parenting is the hardest job in the world. As you're growing and learning as a human yourself, you're also trying your darndest to raise your kids without screwing it up! My husband and I had tons of family meetings just like that...I believe our parenting is proving to be successful as our 20 year old and two 18 year olds are beginning their young adulthoods. It takes time, lots of time, and perseverance!
As a teacher I love that you talk about these habits with your boys. When you have 90+ students you can't make sure each one is on track all the time so knowing parents are on top of it is amazing!
I feel like I'm ahead of the game now! Thanks for sharing M&M! Like your rule about consequence! I might acquiesce on a big assignment, but think that's a smart one! Erin xo
You and Michael are choosing great topics for Mondays! My oldest is almost 13 and has just recently gotten a cell phone. I'm definitely going to start keeping her phone during homework and at night. Even though she has it on silent while doing homework the 'buzz buzz' of incoming texts is a distraction. Great ideas, thanks so much!
Love these kinds of videos, lots of take-aways here for our family! Here's my comment: natural consequences work better than a lecture with our boys, and night time routines sure help eliminate the problem altogether!
Thank u so much marnie and Michael! I have a senior boy who I let suffer his own consequences for his lack of work last year and he failed 2 classes! Big hit for college apps and my heart I needed a way to get on track with him to focus! Just idea of an expectation family meeting is a Godsend to me. My 12 year old daughter is a great student at a gifted school but she looks up to her big bro and this is a GREAT prototype for us to start successfully! Thank u
Great video Marnie and Michael. It makes the morning so much easier when you organize everything the night before and have it packed and ready. I love the no phone rule after 10 on a school night. I need to implement that ASAP. I find that my daughter is naturally more organized than my son. But both kids can benefit from your suggestions. Have a great day!
I totally agree with the get everything ready the night before and the if you forget your stuff, you are out of luck. We will be implementing some of your ideas!!
Personally I really appreciate these type of videos. My two sons are 8 and 9 and I'm storing up all this excellent advice from two people with years of experience that I can only benefit from! Thank you guys!!
Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! Excellent video, Marnie and Michael! Teaching responsibility, accountability and time management skills will not only help them through high school and college, but most definitely in their adult life. Time-management skills are tricky for so many of us and if you're organized and prepared every single day for your job (be it school or work), success is sure to follow! I love that your kids have a planner to schedule out their workload and extra curricular activities, so there is no need to cram for tests or rush through important projects and assignments. I wish those planning and time-management skills were taught to me when I was in school!
I loved this video! My son is only in 5th grade but he is in all advanced classes and currently has the work load of an 8th grader. I'm definitely going to try out some of these ideas with him! Thank you!
I appreciate how invested and hand-on you guys are with parenting! I am a student in college and I think the boys will really like how this helps them be more organized and efficient in the long run!
What a great idea to have all of this written down and posted! I think I'm going to implement a similar system in our home. My son has started middle school this year and he is struggling to adjust to the additional responsibility of different classes and different teachers for each subject. And honestly, I think that boys struggle with organization more so than girls (not a scientific fact, but I only have boys and they aren't very organized!). We have plenty of these "rules" in our home, but sadly, I've never thought about posting them anywhere for him to refer to! It probably makes more sense to call them routines and expectations rather than rules - to not have the negative connotation! Thanks so much! And yes, I always enjoy parenting videos. I enjoy knowing what works for some families and what doesn't work. Keep 'em coming!
You guys rock. Wonderful to prepare good habits in the boys. This stuff isn't learned by telepathy, it's taught by parents who want the best for their children going into adulthood
I love this! You are really shaping responsible young men! Good for yall! I have littles right now but I am bookmarking this in my brain! Thank you sharing
Great Video, I'm not even a parent, but do work full time, as well as go to school part time. I wish I had these organization skills back in the eighties when I first started college out of high school. I feel these guidelines can work for many different chores and tasks. Thanks Marnie & Michael, you two are such great role models for your sons. Love how honest you are.
This is fantastic. The struggle with organising teens is real. I will use your advise. Please do regular follow ups with this. I need to develop my holding the kids accountable skills instead of just doing it for them.
Very useful advice. Mine are middle school and elementary but I can see the usefulness in the Sunday check in and do a 10 mins weekly planning session. Thank you for the video!
You guys are great parents and make a wonderful team. Your boys may resent the strict rules now but they will appreciate it when they mature! They are blessed to have such caring parents.
Bravo. I COMPLETELY agree with you about NOT driving to school to deliver work left at home. We want our kids to learn how to do better/remember next time, not to learn that Mommy/Daddy will take care of everything for them.
Hi to you both. Loved this video. I think all children need structure and routine. No matter what the age. I also love that the boys will miss items if not packed the night before. You are teaching the boys real life skills! Well done !! Can't wait for the updates on how it all goes. I wish Jake the best of luck with his applications. I hope he gets the one he really wants. xxx
You two are wonderful parents. I love the way you work as a team. I can tell that you have each other's backs in a huge way. As an adult that grew up with attention deficit disorder I can tell you you're strategies are fantastic for anyone!!
This video is my favorite M&MM by faaaaaaar!!!!!!!!! I'm still in school myself and I watched this with my mom and we both thought it was REALLY interesting. Could you please make more videos about your parenting??? Greetz from The Netherlands :)
+Marnie Goldberg | MsGoldgirl what keeps your boys focused during studying? I get distracted sometimes but maybe you have some studying tips!! I will be using flash cards en I will hand in my cell phone but what else helps? Thanks for responding :) love your videos!!
I've been doing the 30 minute rest period with my kindergartener, 6th grader, 8th grader and preschooler. Let me tell you that they LOVE it! They've told me that they like it because I tell them, " Just chill out for 30 minutes." They are willing to do homework after without me having to " pull teeth". It's been amazing for all of us.
I´m amazed at how much parents do for their children these days, especially in the US. Back when I was a kid (the 80s and 90s) we knew that school was "our job", our responsibility and we were expected to do all our homework, study our lessons and do our own research without the need for a parent supervising every step of the way (and we didn´t even have the Internet). My mom worked full time but my grandparents were at home and none of them felt the need to check my homework or to write down a schedule for me to study. My brother and I just knew it was our one responsibility and we took it very seriously. We both did great, more than great, we were honor students.
While your kids may be frustrated with all of this new structure, I do believe they will be appreciative for it when they are in college. Organizational skills and learning to prioritize are keys to success. I had a crash course when I tripled majored in Biochemistry, Chemistry and Biology and minored in French. I am not an exceptionally bright student, but I am incredibly dedicated and determined. I use my planner as my guide for my day. After my first degrees and lessons I learned, I found getting my BSN in nursing while working full-time and having my son to be a much easiesr process b/c I kept on a tight schedule. Now in FNP graduate school, I am using my organizational skills to keep on top of not only my assignments, but my work schedule and my son's assignments and sports. Organization and routines make life less stressful. My son is five and he knows we have specific morning, afternoon and bedtime routines. I loved watching this video and can't wait to see more like it! Your sons are lucky to have such involved, caring parents.
Responding to the part about not bringing forgotten homework to school... my youngest just started middle school and at the schools parent information night, they strongly stressed to us as well that us parents DO NOT bring their forgotten homework to school if they forget it. They will learn with the consequences if it happens. Good job you two! This is my favorite video from M&M so far. :)
+Marnie Goldberg | MsGoldgirl I'm the same way - I'm angry/annoyed at having to do it, but I'm always SO worried about their grades suffering, (I have three senior boys...) I cave. I shall be more resolute this year. Luckily, they're not so bad about forgetting work at home, but things like books, forms, running/clothing items. I often bite the bullet on those things and refuse, unless they have to break dress code otherwise - hard to go to school when they won't let you in from the field house barefoot. More often than not, they are all packed and ready to go before bed. The ONLY good habit they seem to have. Ha! Where is Jake considering attending college? My three are currently heading in literally three different directions. BTW, one has Asperger's and another ADHD, the third is just happy-go-lucky. It's a zoo. My ADHD son is actually a born organized guy. Go figure.
Awesome and helpful info!!! We're dealing with these same issues with our middle school aged boys too. I really appreciated this video as its great to hear what other parents are trying. We all want our kids to succeed.
Nicely done. My son is out of school, but this would help so many of my friends. Looking forward to updates on this topic. Thank you for tackling this parenting issue.
as current college student who had to learn the hard way, I think you two are very involved and caring parents. Even if they may hate you! They are lucky to have you both!!
Great advice and I couldn't agree more ! I have raised all three of my kids basically this same way (the last one is a senior this year ) Consequences are key ! I have the same guideline for forgetting school work, I.D., book, money etc. Same goes for not gassing up his car, if he ever runs out he knows to call Dad because Mom is not coming !! He's turned out to be pretty responsible, as boys go, and I'm confident that I have set him up for early adulthood ! I have ALWAYS believed that kids should follow schedules and routines as much as possible, it really goes a long way and they will thank you later ! :)
I think that s a great idea to give good habits to kids ...you want the best for them And teach them How to work properly And it s great to see that involved parents still exist ....my kids are still very young but i already start to teach them habits ....thanks for sharing your Way ...i captured in photo your white Board 😉
These are all great ideas! The best thing my parents did for us was banning tv during the school week. We got 30 minutes each day for something or we could save our 30 minutes up and watch it all at one time. It helped us to prioritize what we wanted. My sister is still implementing our parents plan in her first year of college, so it must have worked.
I can not THANK YOU enough for this video. My daughter, who is in 11th grade, has always done well in school and is organized in her school work (her room is a TOTALLY different story). My son is starting 9th grade and has struggled with school and organizational skills forever. I am going to use these tips/advice to help him with that. I tell him the more organized he is with his school work, the easier it will be and the better his grades will be. :-)
this is great for anyone. I am working full-time and starting grad school full time..it is all about the planning and sticking to it. I found some good tips for me! You are teaching your sons invaluable life lessons..earlier the better. hard to teach new habits and break bad habits as you get older :) . I really enjoy how your channel has evolved Marnie, I love the diversity and creativity with all the different topics. Unique to many of the other channels that I see. You are making this your own. Nicely done!
I think you guys do a great job giving the boys the tools next year Jake will be on his own and I'm sure he ll continue using some probably not all of the tools you've taught him which he ll really appreciate. I love michael marnie videos and I don't have a spouse or kids and I still thoroughly enjoy them!
This reminds me of a staff meeting. I really like it. Haha. I wish my parents did this with me in high school. I'm naturally organized, but got easily overwhelmed with keeping up with everything mid semester. I'll have to remember this stuff for if I ever have kids.
So good to hear you guys have the same challenges. My kids are younger (9 and 11) but have a similar routine, challenges, organization, checking work, hiding assignments, consequences (if they forget, I do not take things to them either!).
Bravo for that plan. I've been trying to implement something similar for a couple years. My husband has adult ADHD and tends to be inconsistent with enforcing the plan which is extra work for me. An additional challenge is both of my high school age kiddos have learning disabilities. It seems like a full time job to get the teachers to adhere to their IEPs. One kiddo needed a audio or digital version of his History book. The teacher acted like it was quite a process to find out if the district had one available. He also said it would take about 3 weeks to get the assistive technology person out to install text to speech software on the computers. Shouldn't a SPED teacher have this ready to go ahead of time? Grrrr! So I Googled and found a PDF of the History textbook and found a text to speech app. They are now both loaded on my son's iPad and now he is good to go.
We experience some of the same things! Thanks for sharing I am going to implement some of these habits ! I have a 12 year old girl and We share some of the same issues when it comes to homework. Yes more videos on parenting.
I have a 10th, 7th, and 5th grader and there's so much to balance with school, homework, and extra activities! I really like that idea about removing the phones during study time and at night. I'm starting that TONIGHT! Definitely update us on how it all goes. :)
My daughter just started 7th grade and we implemented most your suggestions last school year. It has worked great for us. She is not as stressed and on honor roll!
I like the idea and plan a lot. I also think reviewing work is a great idea. It's something they won't have the luxury to have once they are in college, so someday they are gonna look back and realize how blessed they were to have you both looking out for them. The phone idea is awesome too. I have two boys (almost a 2 year old, and a 1 month old) and even though I'm years from texting issues, I'm gonna do this for sure. I look forward to watching more!
I totally agree with the natural consequences. That is a great life lesson for kids. They need to learn they are responsible for their actions. We do the same thing.
My youngest son is also a senior in high school. At this point I'm backing off of managing his work because I want him to be ready for next year when I'm not around. I pretty much did what you are doing when he was a freshman but each year I have backed off a little more. Because of this he is taking ownership of his college application process. (He has already worked on his second draft of his essay and has his Common Application ready. He also has planned his early decision 1, early decision 2, and early action applications. And we have endorsed his choices as they were well considered.) With regard to the consequences - I have not delivered things to his school that he has forgotten for years including sports items for cross country and crew. It is amazing how resourceful they can learn to be when challenged. Meanwhile, the two of you are an awesome team!
My hat is off to you both. What great and involved parents you are. Your boys are going to be able to look back and see how much you cared, invested and fought (yes fought - cell phone take away) to give them the best chances for success. Great building block video. Wish I had that kind of leadership/mentoring when I was their age. Would love to see updates and progress reports!
I think this is an awesome plan! Looking back, I wish my mom would have done something similar. I am awful at organizing and time management. As a senior in college now, at 41, I should be better at it then I am. I believe that you are setting them up for success!
I have a 7th grader and a 2nd grader. We have similar rules in our house. They come home from school and have a snack and then it's homework time. No screens/phones until the homework is all done, as well as their daily chores. And then they are free to have those privileges until 8 pm, when all the screens go off. They then do their evening showers, and get things ready for the next day. Then if they have time before their 9:00 bedtime, they can read or play quietly. My youngest son takes to this really well. Mainly because he loves school and easily excels at school works so his homework generally takes him all of 5 minutes. My oldest son, who was just recently diagnosed with ADHD has always struggled in school, and has a hard time staying focused and on task, has a harder time with it. I have to stay right with him while he' working and refocus his attention and help him a lot, and still his homework often takes an hour or two. It's a struggle sometimes. My oldest son gets home at 2:30 and is often still not done with his responsibilities when my youngest walks in the door at 4. My youngest son then breezes through all of his responsibilities and is out the door to play or having friends over or whatever, meanwhile my oldest son sometimes still has not finished with everything. Making my oldest understand that he simply has more struggles and more responsibilities is hard. He often says how unfair it is. Life's not fair, but I do feel bad for him that he has to work so much harder than his brother. Anyway, thank you for sharing. It's nice to see that we have similar parenting styles! Your boys seem like fine young men!
I think you are wonderful, engaged parents and your boys will thank you. I also think it is generous of you to share your strategy, it can be very helpful to others who may be struggling or merely looking for better ways to assist their school age children. ~Dawne
Marnie & Michael, you guys are doing an excellent job raising your boys, don't stress so much, enjoy every minute with them because time flies and before you realize they will be gone. Love all your videos and your caring personality!! I have two kids one is a Junior at Baylor University and my second is in 8th grade completely different personalities and study skills even though I raised them pretty much the same way. I strongly believe is important to build a organization strategy during their teen years before they leave to college they may not like it right now but they will thank you in the future.
awesome video!!! Definitely downloading your sheet. My daughter just started 9th grade and like you, I want her to form habits now. I totally agree with the electronics. I usually let her take hers but from now on the ipad and iphone will be secured during study hours. I do like your down time approach, we struggle with that and usually have to put it at the end of the evening since dance stuff starts at 5:00. Dinner is usually happening at that point. Can't wait to watch the other M&M videos. Great to see a father involved as much as he is!! oh and one thing, I have not been doing that you inspired me to do, is to get in the kids folders and binders and walk through it with them. Awesome!! Usually, I let her tell me what is happening with homework but I like that hands on approach. nice work there!
You are the best Marnie and Michael! You rock!
Glam couple! You are hitting a home run with M&M Mondays!
You guys are awesome! Thank you for sharing xxx
Agreed 100%. When my children started high school I told them if they forget something at home they have to suffer the consequences. They have done it once & have never done it again. It taught them responsibility. My kids curfew is 11pm on the weekend. I have told the kids that nothing good has happen after 11pm on the roads. They saw this first hand when an accident happened and someone lost their life. They now are also firm believers in it as well & I have heard them telling this to their friends. Teach your kids love, respect & responsibility. They will grow into young successful adults. They become proud of their accomplishments within themselves. If more parents "parented" our society would be in such a better place. 👍🏻
Excellent ideas! Stay the course it will be worth the time and investment in their future! Our youngest son (now 27) skipped over Grade 6 and it was crucial that we stayed on top of this with the teacher to make sure he was succsssful, happy and mentally healthy. All 3 of our kids grew up to be planners, savers and so far great parents who now in turn are building these skills in our gbabies! These are important lifeskills and while parenting choices aren't always valued in the moment....you really see the rewards of what you are doing when you watch them parent the next generation. Heads up... parenting them to be good parents is the "reward" for the structured approach you are taking. Organization and personal stress management are crucial to lifelong health and wellness!!!!! Stay the course!!!!!!
I agree about listening to Classical music! I began listening to it (against my wishes at the time) at the age of 14. Eventually I got used to it.
Today, however, with four grown children out of the nest, we continue to play it most days as background music. Our guests often notice, and comment that they should start playing it in their home!
There are many links online supporting your suggestion!
Michael's voice is SO CALMING!!!!!
I'm not a parent, but as an educator, organization and preparedness are valuable skills for kids to learn. Freshman year at college is a big adjustment for kids, and although it may take some time to kick in, these skills will make a huge difference. Good luck! Sandra
As a recently graduated senior in high school and a college freshman, I wish my parents had helped engrave the some of the skills needed for success in me. I think what you did was great and will help immensely. Try and spend as much time with him as possible before he leaves, senior year flies by and as much as we hate to admit it we will miss our parents when we go to college!! Love your videos.
+BombshellGlitters Thank you for making me bawl!!! :) I find myself crying at the drop of a hat these days!!
love the m&m Mondays. Great topic and tips.
OMG you guys are awesome, and soooo organized! Way to go!
Awesome plans! Two other things my mom did with all of us kids male & female was: 1) taught us 5 simple, healthy meals we could make, so when we weren't in the dorm, we could survive on real food, not processed. 2) we did our own laundry. I remember teaching a girl on my floor Freshman year, because mom or the maid did all that for her, she was really embarrassed and didn't want anyone to know she didn't know how. Her roommate had to show her how to make her bed.
Love these videos!!
This was a great video, love M&M Monday.
Marnie I never comment on videos but I just wanted to tell you that you and Michael are in the same place as my husband and I and I feel the stress of having a Senior. We have an 18year old and a 15 year old oh and a happy accident that is 8! He has had those moments of slacking as parents and now at the end of my sons high school life we want to ensure he is set up for success in college and then in life. It is difficult and exhausting. He also has ADHD which can make the struggle even more challenging at times. This video gave me a little relief knowing I was not the only parent dealing with these organizational struggles with my kids.
Love this!!
I need a Michael of my own, seriously...love you both😘
love, love the parenting videos!
I'm sitting here at 11pm Monday night here in NZ, with my kids phones on my lap, as we have implemented the no phones in their room due to not choosing to leave them alone, when they should be sleeping. As to the natural consequences for forgetting something, I'm with you. I am sure if they do forget something, it won't happen too often once they realize how important is to remember it's on them. Once they're out in the world, there is probably not going to be anyone that can run to them with what they forgot, so better to learn it now than later! Real good advice, I love these M&M videos!
I think your strategies are right on the money. We are following much of the same approach with our daughter who is a freshman. Getting very proactive and then backing off as they assume the responsibility and develop the habits is a great approach to so many parenting issues!! I'd love to see a follow up video with real life applications to the boys' push-back and acceptance of all the "must do's." And way to go, Marnie, for not enabling their unorganized behavior by rescuing them. It is so hard to be strong when faced with the panic-driven text of "I forgot....can you bring me..?" LOL! Stay strong!! By the way, we also take the phone away and keep it in our room every school night. I'm amazed at the difference that only that one action can make - and at how many parents are afraid to do it. Thanks you two!
We all should be sharing great tips like this on parenting. It takes a village! Thanks for sharing these ideas with us all!
Yes! Rephrasing is def a mom thing!! Dad's typically are tougher...and I am so big on turning negativity into positivity! It's much more encouraging :)) xoxo
+andrea parrish (andi) And yes...I always set up the outfits and school papers(signed and ready), I go over my eldest's planner/agends and sign and always let the reprive happen when they get home(snack, catch a breather and I also do a spinal cleanse), then: homework.......I do let my kids listen to music and I believe as long as positive (no rap no screamo and no country) it's uplifting. IMO. No phones for my kids YET lol but I could not agree more with the bar you've set for your children!! I play classical music much of the time jsyk just because its soothing and I like it!
Excellent video!!!!!!!!!!
I recently went back to community college to get my AS in Business and I will be using these tips! The agenda will be really helpful for me because I work and go to school full time and half my classes are all online based. Due to my lack of organization, I missed an assignment for one of those classes. :/
With adjustments, these tips can help anyone that wants to be more organized in their daily lives. :)
Love this, such great ideas without being too over the top, brilliant, love M&M Monday
OMG- You two are great together-really great ideas- thanks!
Love it. A little intense but old school parenting... I like it!
I love the parental video!
ACCOUNTABILITY!!! YESSSSS!!! When I forget things, I am out of luck. Organization is such a daily struggle for me and I fear that my kids will fall into that same struggle. I have a calendar for daily chores for the 6th and 3rd grader and then we make it a point to check homework every night. Awesome tips on study in the same space. This is really a great video and I have been enjoying this series! Thanks so much!
Such a smart video to make guys. Both of my daughters are teachers and some of their stories are heartbreaking. Kids are being ignored today and left to the own devices which we all know often leads to failure. I like your ideas. I hope some of your followers will use your advice with their young kiddos. It could make a huge difference in everyone's life. Yes, it will be work, hard work. It is not for the lazy, but the payoff could be tremendous..
Now on to a consequence story. When my oldest daughter was in junior high, I began a process of making her responsible for getting up with her own alarm clock. I had gotten tired of climbing the staircase multiple times to wake her each morning. As expected it did not go well. Time and time again, she did not get out of bed when the alarm sounded. One day I decided she would go to school in her PJ's .....yes they were extremely modest..... without a bath and no makeup. That's all it took. She was cured....lol.
Great plan!
As a teacher and parent I think this is fantastic! Kids needs to learn how to study, organize and keep their lives stress free. If they aren't taught many never learn these skills. My best to both of you! Your sons are very lucky!
Bravo for being proactive parents to young adults! So many parents around us are constantly reacting...everything is chaotic and filled with drama and angst.Parenting is the hardest job in the world. As you're growing and learning as a human yourself, you're also trying your darndest to raise your kids without screwing it up! My husband and I had tons of family meetings just like that...I believe our parenting is proving to be successful as our 20 year old and two 18 year olds are beginning their young adulthoods. It takes time, lots of time, and perseverance!
As a teacher I love that you talk about these habits with your boys. When you have 90+ students you can't make sure each one is on track all the time so knowing parents are on top of it is amazing!
I feel like I'm ahead of the game now! Thanks for sharing M&M! Like your rule about consequence! I might acquiesce on a big assignment, but think that's a smart one! Erin xo
I work in the behavior analysis field.... I loved when you mentioned natural consequence!! Great video 😄
I just love that u guys do videos together on Mondays!
Awesome video. Congratulations.
You and Michael are choosing great topics for Mondays! My oldest is almost 13 and has just recently gotten a cell phone. I'm definitely going to start keeping her phone during homework and at night. Even though she has it on silent while doing homework the 'buzz buzz' of incoming texts is a distraction. Great ideas, thanks so much!
Love these kinds of videos, lots of take-aways here for our family! Here's my comment: natural consequences work better than a lecture with our boys, and night time routines sure help eliminate the problem altogether!
Thank u so much marnie and Michael! I have a senior boy who I let suffer his own consequences for his lack of work last year and he failed 2 classes! Big hit for college apps and my heart I needed a way to get on track with him to focus! Just idea of an expectation family meeting is a Godsend to me. My
12 year old daughter is a great student at a gifted school but she looks up to her big bro and this is a GREAT prototype for us to start successfully! Thank u
Wonderful as always!We don't have kids,we are newlyweds but I sut down and took notes.Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the M&M videos!
Great topics!! SO refreshing to see videos that we all need help with. thank you
Great video Marnie and Michael. It makes the morning so much easier when you organize everything the night before and have it packed and ready. I love the no phone rule after 10 on a school night. I need to implement that ASAP. I find that my daughter is naturally more organized than my son. But both kids can benefit from your suggestions. Have a great day!
I totally agree with the get everything ready the night before and the if you forget your stuff, you are out of luck. We will be implementing some of your ideas!!
Personally I really appreciate these type of videos. My two sons are 8 and 9 and I'm storing up all this excellent advice from two people with years of experience that I can only benefit from! Thank you guys!!
Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! Excellent video, Marnie and Michael! Teaching responsibility, accountability and time management skills will not only help them through high school and college, but most definitely in their adult life. Time-management skills are tricky for so many of us and if you're organized and prepared every single day for your job (be it school or work), success is sure to follow! I love that your kids have a planner to schedule out their workload and extra curricular activities, so there is no need to cram for tests or rush through important projects and assignments. I wish those planning and time-management skills were taught to me when I was in school!
I loved this video! My son is only in 5th grade but he is in all advanced classes and currently has the work load of an 8th grader. I'm definitely going to try out some of these ideas with him! Thank you!
I appreciate how invested and hand-on you guys are with parenting! I am a student in college and I think the boys will really like how this helps them be more organized and efficient in the long run!
Loved this video, #goals keep them coming. Thanks for sharing 😘
What a great idea to have all of this written down and posted! I think I'm going to implement a similar system in our home. My son has started middle school this year and he is struggling to adjust to the additional responsibility of different classes and different teachers for each subject. And honestly, I think that boys struggle with organization more so than girls (not a scientific fact, but I only have boys and they aren't very organized!). We have plenty of these "rules" in our home, but sadly, I've never thought about posting them anywhere for him to refer to! It probably makes more sense to call them routines and expectations rather than rules - to not have the negative connotation!
Thanks so much! And yes, I always enjoy parenting videos. I enjoy knowing what works for some families and what doesn't work. Keep 'em coming!
You guys rock. Wonderful to prepare good habits in the boys. This stuff isn't learned by telepathy, it's taught by parents who want the best for their children going into adulthood
I love this! You are really shaping responsible young men! Good for yall! I have littles right now but I am bookmarking this in my brain! Thank you sharing
Time management is very important, I'm still learning. I like the idea of using calendars apps, linking everyones schedule. Thank you♡
You guys rock! Congratulations on finding a thorough and thoughtful method of empowering your boys to develop strong study and organizational habits.
Great Video, I'm not even a parent, but do work full time, as well as go to school part time. I wish I had these organization skills back in the eighties when I first started college out of high school. I feel these guidelines can work for many different chores and tasks. Thanks Marnie & Michael, you two are such great role models for your sons. Love how honest you are.
This is fantastic. The struggle with organising teens is real. I will use your advise.
Please do regular follow ups with this. I need to develop my holding the kids accountable skills instead of just doing it for them.
Very useful advice. Mine are middle school and elementary but I can see the usefulness in the Sunday check in and do a 10 mins weekly planning session. Thank you for the video!
What a fabulous video. Thank you. Deborah
You guys are great parents and make a wonderful team. Your boys may resent the strict rules now but they will appreciate it when they mature! They are blessed to have such caring parents.
Bravo. I COMPLETELY agree with you about NOT driving to school to deliver work left at home. We want our kids to learn how to do better/remember next time, not to learn that Mommy/Daddy will take care of everything for them.
Hi to you both. Loved this video. I think all children need structure and routine. No matter what the age. I also love that the boys will miss items if not packed the night before. You are teaching the boys real life skills! Well done !! Can't wait for the updates on how it all goes. I wish Jake the best of luck with his applications. I hope he gets the one he really wants. xxx
You two are wonderful parents. I love the way you work as a team. I can tell that you have each other's backs in a huge way. As an adult that grew up with attention deficit disorder I can tell you you're strategies are fantastic for anyone!!
This video is my favorite M&MM by faaaaaaar!!!!!!!!!
I'm still in school myself and I watched this with my mom and we both thought it was REALLY interesting.
Could you please make more videos about your parenting???
Greetz from The Netherlands :)
+Roselique Otten Absolutely-anything in particular you'd like to see?
+Marnie Goldberg | MsGoldgirl what keeps your boys focused during studying? I get distracted sometimes but maybe you have some studying tips!! I will be using flash cards en I will hand in my cell phone but what else helps? Thanks for responding :) love your videos!!
I've been doing the 30 minute rest period with my kindergartener, 6th grader, 8th grader and preschooler. Let me tell you that they LOVE it! They've told me that they like it because I tell them, " Just chill out for 30 minutes." They are willing to do homework after without me having to " pull teeth". It's been amazing for all of us.
You 2 are Fantastic, Wonderful tips / idea's! Thanks for sharing this with us, enjoyed as always.
I´m amazed at how much parents do for their children these days, especially in the US. Back when I was a kid (the 80s and 90s) we knew that school was "our job", our responsibility and we were expected to do all our homework, study our lessons and do our own research without the need for a parent supervising every step of the way (and we didn´t even have the Internet). My mom worked full time but my grandparents were at home and none of them felt the need to check my homework or to write down a schedule for me to study. My brother and I just knew it was our one responsibility and we took it very seriously. We both did great, more than great, we were honor students.
+Soli Verypersonal Glad you were so successful-that's great!
While your kids may be frustrated with all of this new structure, I do believe they will be appreciative for it when they are in college. Organizational skills and learning to prioritize are keys to success. I had a crash course when I tripled majored in Biochemistry, Chemistry and Biology and minored in French. I am not an exceptionally bright student, but I am incredibly dedicated and determined. I use my planner as my guide for my day. After my first degrees and lessons I learned, I found getting my BSN in nursing while working full-time and having my son to be a much easiesr process b/c I kept on a tight schedule. Now in FNP graduate school, I am using my organizational skills to keep on top of not only my assignments, but my work schedule and my son's assignments and sports. Organization and routines make life less stressful. My son is five and he knows we have specific morning, afternoon and bedtime routines. I loved watching this video and can't wait to see more like it! Your sons are lucky to have such involved, caring parents.
+scoutsami01 WOW!! I am majorly impressed!!! You are one impressive lady!!
Responding to the part about not bringing forgotten homework to school... my youngest just started middle school and at the schools parent information night, they strongly stressed to us as well that us parents DO NOT bring their forgotten homework to school if they forget it. They will learn with the consequences if it happens. Good job you two! This is my favorite video from M&M so far. :)
+Jean Marie It's SO hard!!!
+Marnie Goldberg | MsGoldgirl I'm the same way - I'm angry/annoyed at having to do it, but I'm always SO worried about their grades suffering, (I have three senior boys...) I cave. I shall be more resolute this year. Luckily, they're not so bad about forgetting work at home, but things like books, forms, running/clothing items. I often bite the bullet on those things and refuse, unless they have to break dress code otherwise - hard to go to school when they won't let you in from the field house barefoot. More often than not, they are all packed and ready to go before bed. The ONLY good habit they seem to have. Ha! Where is Jake considering attending college? My three are currently heading in literally three different directions. BTW, one has Asperger's and another ADHD, the third is just happy-go-lucky. It's a zoo. My ADHD son is actually a born organized guy. Go figure.
The better question is where is Jake NOT looking? He sent out 14 applications! Today his top choices are Ole Miss and Texas Tech. Who knows?
Awesome and helpful info!!! We're dealing with these same issues with our middle school aged boys too. I really appreciated this video as its great to hear what other parents are trying. We all want our kids to succeed.
Great video, guys! I would love to see a video on how to manage adult time as well.
Nicely done. My son is out of school, but this would help so many of my friends. Looking forward to updates on this topic. Thank you for tackling this parenting issue.
as current college student who had to learn the hard way, I think you two are very involved and caring parents. Even if they may hate you! They are lucky to have you both!!
Great advice and I couldn't agree more ! I have raised all three of my kids basically this same way (the last one is a senior this year ) Consequences are key ! I have the same guideline for forgetting school work, I.D., book, money etc. Same goes for not gassing up his car, if he ever runs out he knows to call Dad because Mom is not coming !! He's turned out to be pretty responsible, as boys go, and I'm confident that I have set him up for early adulthood ! I have ALWAYS believed that kids should follow schedules and routines as much as possible, it really goes a long way and they will thank you later ! :)
I think that s a great idea to give good habits to kids ...you want the best for them And teach them How to work properly And it s great to see that involved parents still exist ....my kids are still very young but i already start to teach them habits ....thanks for sharing your Way ...i captured in photo your white Board 😉
+stéphanie TIGOLLE It's also on the blog!
These are all great ideas!
The best thing my parents did for us was banning tv during the school week. We got 30 minutes each day for something or we could save our 30 minutes up and watch it all at one time. It helped us to prioritize what we wanted. My sister is still implementing our parents plan in her first year of college, so it must have worked.
I can not THANK YOU enough for this video. My daughter, who is in 11th grade, has always done well in school and is organized in her school work (her room is a TOTALLY different story). My son is starting 9th grade and has struggled with school and organizational skills forever. I am going to use these tips/advice to help him with that. I tell him the more organized he is with his school work, the easier it will be and the better his grades will be. :-)
this is great for anyone. I am working full-time and starting grad school full time..it is all about the planning and sticking to it. I found some good tips for me! You are teaching your sons invaluable life lessons..earlier the better. hard to teach new habits and break bad habits as you get older :) . I really enjoy how your channel has evolved Marnie, I love the diversity and creativity with all the different topics. Unique to many of the other channels that I see. You are making this your own. Nicely done!
I think you guys do a great job giving the boys the tools next year Jake will be on his own and I'm sure he ll continue using some probably not all of the tools you've taught him which he ll really appreciate. I love michael marnie videos and I don't have a spouse or kids and I still thoroughly enjoy them!
This reminds me of a staff meeting. I really like it. Haha. I wish my parents did this with me in high school. I'm naturally organized, but got easily overwhelmed with keeping up with everything mid semester. I'll have to remember this stuff for if I ever have kids.
So good to hear you guys have the same challenges. My kids are younger (9 and 11) but have a similar routine, challenges, organization, checking work, hiding assignments, consequences (if they forget, I do not take things to them either!).
Bravo for that plan. I've been trying to implement something similar for a couple years. My husband has adult ADHD and tends to be inconsistent with enforcing the plan which is extra work for me. An additional challenge is both of my high school age kiddos have learning disabilities. It seems like a full time job to get the teachers to adhere to their IEPs. One kiddo needed a audio or digital version of his History book. The teacher acted like it was quite a process to find out if the district had one available. He also said it would take about 3 weeks to get the assistive technology person out to install text to speech software on the computers. Shouldn't a SPED teacher have this ready to go ahead of time? Grrrr! So I Googled and found a PDF of the History textbook and found a text to speech app. They are now both loaded on my son's iPad and now he is good to go.
We experience some of the same things! Thanks for sharing I am going to implement some of these habits ! I have a 12 year old girl and We share some of the same issues when it comes to homework. Yes more videos on parenting.
love the video
Great job ! More parenting tips , please :) .
I have a 10th, 7th, and 5th grader and there's so much to balance with school, homework, and extra activities! I really like that idea about removing the phones during study time and at night. I'm starting that TONIGHT! Definitely update us on how it all goes. :)
As a parent, grandparent and veteran teacher, I could not agree more. Kudos.
My daughter just started 7th grade and we implemented most your suggestions last school year. It has worked great for us. She is not as stressed and on honor roll!
I like the idea and plan a lot. I also think reviewing work is a great idea. It's something they won't have the luxury to have once they are in college, so someday they are gonna look back and realize how blessed they were to have you both looking out for them. The phone idea is awesome too. I have two boys (almost a 2 year old, and a 1 month old) and even though I'm years from texting issues, I'm gonna do this for sure. I look forward to watching more!
I totally agree with the natural consequences. That is a great life lesson for kids. They need to learn they are responsible for their actions. We do the same thing.
My youngest son is also a senior in high school. At this point I'm backing off of managing his work because I want him to be ready for next year when I'm not around. I pretty much did what you are doing when he was a freshman but each year I have backed off a little more. Because of this he is taking ownership of his college application process. (He has already worked on his second draft of his essay and has his Common Application ready. He also has planned his early decision 1, early decision 2, and early action applications. And we have endorsed his choices as they were well considered.) With regard to the consequences - I have not delivered things to his school that he has forgotten for years including sports items for cross country and crew. It is amazing how resourceful they can learn to be when challenged. Meanwhile, the two of you are an awesome team!
My hat is off to you both. What great and involved parents you are. Your boys are going to be able to look back and see how much you cared, invested and fought (yes fought - cell phone take away) to give them the best chances for success. Great building block video. Wish I had that kind of leadership/mentoring when I was their age. Would love to see updates and progress reports!
I think this is an awesome plan! Looking back, I wish my mom would have done something similar. I am awful at organizing and time management. As a senior in college now, at 41, I should be better at it then I am. I believe that you are setting them up for success!
I have a 7th grader and a 2nd grader. We have similar rules in our house. They come home from school and have a snack and then it's homework time. No screens/phones until the homework is all done, as well as their daily chores. And then they are free to have those privileges until 8 pm, when all the screens go off. They then do their evening showers, and get things ready for the next day. Then if they have time before their 9:00 bedtime, they can read or play quietly.
My youngest son takes to this really well. Mainly because he loves school and easily excels at school works so his homework generally takes him all of 5 minutes. My oldest son, who was just recently diagnosed with ADHD has always struggled in school, and has a hard time staying focused and on task, has a harder time with it. I have to stay right with him while he' working and refocus his attention and help him a lot, and still his homework often takes an hour or two.
It's a struggle sometimes. My oldest son gets home at 2:30 and is often still not done with his responsibilities when my youngest walks in the door at 4. My youngest son then breezes through all of his responsibilities and is out the door to play or having friends over or whatever, meanwhile my oldest son sometimes still has not finished with everything. Making my oldest understand that he simply has more struggles and more responsibilities is hard. He often says how unfair it is. Life's not fair, but I do feel bad for him that he has to work so much harder than his brother.
Anyway, thank you for sharing. It's nice to see that we have similar parenting styles! Your boys seem like fine young men!
Great video you two!!! Thanks for sharing!!! Keep us posted as to your progress and any other parenting tips you may use!!! Hugs, Leslie
This is a must for parents with kids in sports
I think you are wonderful, engaged parents and your boys will thank you. I also think it is generous of you to share your strategy, it can be very helpful to others who may be struggling or merely looking for better ways to assist their school age children. ~Dawne
You seem like amazing parents and people! So happy I found you guys on youtube!
Marnie & Michael, you guys are doing an excellent job raising your boys, don't stress so much, enjoy every minute with them because time flies and before you realize they will be gone. Love all your videos and your caring personality!! I have two kids one is a Junior at Baylor University and my second is in 8th grade completely different personalities and study skills even though I raised them pretty much the same way. I strongly believe is important to build a organization strategy during their teen years before they leave to college they may not like it right now but they will thank you in the future.
awesome video!!! Definitely downloading your sheet. My daughter just started 9th grade and like you, I want her to form habits now. I totally agree with the electronics. I usually let her take hers but from now on the ipad and iphone will be secured during study hours. I do like your down time approach, we struggle with that and usually have to put it at the end of the evening since dance stuff starts at 5:00. Dinner is usually happening at that point. Can't wait to watch the other M&M videos. Great to see a father involved as much as he is!! oh and one thing, I have not been doing that you inspired me to do, is to get in the kids folders and binders and walk through it with them. Awesome!! Usually, I let her tell me what is happening with homework but I like that hands on approach. nice work there!