Kit Connor Comes Out Bisexual - Did We Fail Him
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ธ.ค. 2022
- Kit Connor Comes Out Bisexual - We Failed Him
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It makes me very sad having to make this video , its painful to see someone so brave and beautiful be treated in such a demeaning way. Hopefully our community can learn from their actions realizing the real affect this has on Kit Connor and others. Im very proud of Kit for making such a massive decision but it should have never been done in this way , he deserved better and so do others.
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This was about the 10th time I filmed this video I struggled to put into context what I wanted to say , my emotionas got thr better of me a few times with anger and crying but this seems to be exactly what I wanted to say. The only thing I want to add is an actor should only ever been judged off their acting ability in that role I hate that people accused kit of queer baiting I even hate that term as I've seen it used on so many people our community is about being inclusive not exclusive so remember to be accepting of other and embrace the positive they bring.
Thank you for this … I am still so angry and hurt about this !! I am also disturbed by some of the fan pages … there seems to be an unhealthy obsession with Kit and Joe… I wish them both joy and happiness they have brought so much joy to my life! Bless them both
In Spain, currently, there is a lot of talk about the situation of Kit Connor for the Netflix series "Smiley". The two leading actors have never spoken publicly about her sexuality, but one of them has already starred in another very important LGBT series in our country "Merly". On social networks, many talk that this series could have starred two gay boys and not actors who do not come out of the closet. There has been a lot of pressure on the actor in networks to make his sexual orientation public for a long time. "Smiley" has a good ending, without drama, without death or pain for the protagonists and we again force a person to come out of the closet as with Kit.
Personally, it is very sad to see these situations. We are the same abuses that have beaten, harassed, insulted and belittled us all our lives. We have become among ourselves the same thing that the community fights for every day. Carlos Cuevas, the actor he mentioned, has said publicly that "He does not expect the actors' roles to be pigeonholed because of their sexualities, but because of his work." And people don't seem to get it.
I'm not an activist person, because I just don't like having to re-label myself after everything I've been through. The pain that I still feel after all these years has made me very reserved with my private life (mess, relationships or partners), and put myself in the situation that Kit was in... It kills me to think about it.
I can't believe people who are LGBT didn't have the empathy to let Kit come out when he wanted to. Just as we deserve, we have deserved and we will all deserve.
We are not better than them, and that hurts me.
I feel like the term “queerbaiting” really goes against everything the LGBTQ+ community is supposed to stand for. I hope it very quickly becomes a term of the past, it is incredibly inappropriate and degrading on so many levels. My heart absolutely breaks for Kit Connor I can’t imagine how horrible those accusations must have been and to go through this at 18…. Hats off to him and full respect for how well he’s conducting himself publicly. He’s displayed incredible maturity and strength of character ❤
Appreciate you putting this into words. At first I was surprised how strong my reaction was seeing this. I don't get that angry often but was so angry and upset. But yeah he had done such an amazing job portraying a something so relatable, only for horrible people to do this. Someone brought up the scene in love Simon when he is confronting the person that outed him, its supposed to be the thing queer people get to do on their own terms and stealing that is such an evil act.
I don't think for one second that the people harassing Kit online were fans. They were jerks with too much time on their hands and access to technology that they could hide behind. They were cowards who sent so much crap to a young actor, speculating and demeaning him for one choice or another. These were very small people who would not understand the acceptance and community that the series showed us. They were monsters and I hope they one day understand the pain that they caused. Kit deserves his privacy, just like anyone else. The incessant need of people to pry into the private lives of actors is creepy and sick. I don't know what you will say about this Courtney, however I know you will be kind, considerate and thoughtful. Because that seems to be your style.
Its quite hard video to make unfortunately it wasn't all 'Non fans' I seen so many people speculating sure the ones who took to the next level as harassing him stalking him and trolling him weren't fans but this was defiantly a collective unfortunately. People who really know the struggle would never but the problem with alot of younger people who are finding it alot easier to come out don't really see how much times have change in the last 15 years that they think this behaviour is acceptable. Unfortunately you build a world for acceptance and that comes with expectation, you allow people's privavcies to be broadcasted for all to see people expect every little detail its just a very sad moment.
@@Courtney-Jai I knew your answer would be kind and insightful. I support your concerns and hope people have learned a valuable lesson through this. Actors, especially at such a young age should have an expectation of privacy. It's not a lot to ask.
I can't wait to watch your video when I return from work. Thanks for all you do! XOXXO
@@Courtney-Jai I agree with you. I see the same type of speculation with Edvin Ryding. I tell people to knock it off when I see it but they just don’t seem to get how horrible what’s they’re doing is.
There is such a thing as toxic parasocial fan culture. I've just seen a glimpse of it in a comment on some recent youtube content where the commenter was expressing a waning enthusiasm for Kit Connor and thought he was not spending enough time on his fan base outside of doing interviews. That's definitely a problematic notion. There are fans who spend so much time obsessing and learning everything they can that they start to feel like they actual know the celebrity and are owed more. It's bizarre.
ETA: Here is the comment I responded to from today. It's actually kind of worse than I remembered because they actual suggest Kit needs to be available, presumably to his fan base, outside of his acting:
"But now I don't feel connected to him. As I said look at other actors like Edvin Omar from Young Royals or Bright, Win from Thailand etc.. *Kit needs to put more of himself out there out side (sic) his acting.*"
I'm not sure what point they are making with the comparison to the actors from Young Royals and whomever Win from Thailand is. I haven't watched the former and I've zero context for the latter.
@@Mixxie67 Actors/singers/ytubers etc seen as commodities instead of persons. In the book Kiss&Tell an 18 year old boys’ band singer is outed and the WORST comments come from LGBTQ commenters and ‘theorists’ who blame him for not being more out and up front with his sexuality. Fiction mirroring reality…😵💫
This is a perfect example of how people sometimes blur the lines between fiction and reality. People and especially younger folks need to actually remember the differences because if they don't, it hurts real life, breathing, human beings.
When I saw Kit's coming out tweet it broke my heart. I felt like we failed to protect him from this bullying. I was shocked to find out that the pressure for him to come out actually came from within lgbtq+ community. Like now we need eventually to protect ourselves also from other lgbtq+ people 🤯 in addition to protecting from outside the community.
When I came out as quad sexual it was difficult only because I kept being told that I can’t be sexually attracted to mailboxes and trees. I sure proved them wrong
There are people in almost any community who charge themselves with being gate keepers for that group on whatever topic them deem important (I’ve run into it with some lesbians who want to crucify other lesbians who don’t like the word lesbian and prefer gay). They’re a self-affirming group and annoying any time you run into them, as there’s no room for disagreement and they just won’t stop. They try to “win” the narrative.
The only people who failed Kit are those who put their feelings above his and allowed their insecurities and prejudices to make them do things they should be ashamed of
I used to follow some Heart Stopper fan accounts. Some made me uncomfortable with how much they wanted a kind of personal relationship with some cast members. I unfollowed an muted some of the more obsessed accounts. Parasocial relationships are complicated. I supported Kit as unlabeled and I support him as he is. On social media unfortunately the loudest voices are not always the most considerate.
Some of the fans forget just how young the cast really are. I've even seen the occasional thirst trap of Harry and he's 16 or 17 still.
It’s awful that it happened like this for Kit. And you’re right to say that it was the community as a whole that has contributed to this atmosphere that we are owed “authenticity” somehow, that he needed to come out to “prove himself…”
I felt ashamed of friends of mine who, even though they didn’t contribute to the direct harassment of Kit, still celebrated Kit’s coming out for the wrong sentiments. I still reflect on the day after when a friend in a “HEARTSTOPPER FAN” group chat I’m in only reacted to how good it was that we finally “got confirmation,” failing to acknowledge how we weren’t owed it to begin with, and it happened against Kit’s will. It was quite disheartening to find out that even some “fans” were so quick to claim him as “one of us,” that they [we] FAILED to stand up for Kit in advance of this, making it feel necessary to have his privacy and security violated before he was ready.
Part of me is happy for kit, that he will hopefully come to know the accepting side of being out, and will hopefully be embraced with support from the community to allow him the courtesy and respect to live his authentic and true self now. Yet it still pains me to see this issue as it has become a continuous fight to dispel bi-phobia around those who now are trying to dismiss Kit’s coming out as “performative” and accuse him of doing so as a stunt to save his role in playing Nick Nelson, or not believing him because he’s [maybe] dating a girl [because even the hype around him and Maia is still at this point speculation, not confirmed, and MOST IMPORTANTLY, a continued gross violation of his/their privacy as young actors]. There is still too much undue pressure to prove his bisexuality by dating a guy, which just misses the point that bisexual allows space to be attracted to BOTH, NOT exclusive to picking a side.
We still have a long way to go in support for all members of the Queer/LGBTQAPI2S+ community, and need to have each other’s backs intersectionally, and regardless of confirmation of identity. We need to protect all, to make sure that space is made for everyone to be able to come to their own decisions in their own time about how much of their private life to share with the world.
This disgusting notion that people need to prove what genitals are in their pants to use a public restroom, or prove somehow who they might choose to have intimate, sexual relationships with to be able to claim queer space is in the end more divisive than it is supportive of equality in representation and civil rights.
Kit was bullied. I am angry. But consoled that his family and friends likely rallied ‘round. The scene with Olivia likely happened with his own Mum & Dad, & sibs. He will prosper.
Why do i think this? Bc he is duch s compassionate and gtounded person. They helped to raise a good one!
th-cam.com/video/Oa6AnOCQD50/w-d-xo.html
Thank you for this! I really weeped when I saw his tweet. He was bullied from both sides and it's heartbreaking. Im almost 30 years old and I learned more about my sexuality this two years than in the years before that. Its sometimes a lifelong proces of getting to know you. Kit being forced out at only 18 years old made me so angry! It feels like everything has to be extreme in a way. Extreme hate but also extreme love, the extreme love I mean in this way is coming from the lqbtqia+ community in this case. Being so obsessed with everything must be 'right' that Kit was being accused of queer baiting is terrible. I hope he feels alot of love from people around him, im so proud of him for being a part of this show.
Please don't shut people out for wanting to be supportive to the lqbtqia+ community even if there not part of the community, if there still figuring things out or wanting it to be private. That doesnt mean there not supportive.
I like Alice word's, somebody don't understand the show heartstopper & thx for sharing 🙏🏻
I had a chat with a student, who is all of ten years old, about this. We’re both huge fans of the show so he asked me if I’d heard about it. At ten he knew immediately how wrong it was and talked about how it would make someone feel. I hope more people just talk to the young people in their lives, and help teach them that there are very real consequences when you treat others so poorly.
Thank you for being another voice in this important conversation. ❤️
I saw his post while I was at work and I just started weeping. I was devastated for him. I still am. I feel like we did what we could, for sure. I've seen people shutting down those who were questioning his sexuality in fan groups. The true fans are fully supportive. and we are all devastated for him.
This still upsets me, though it had nothing to do with me directly. I hope Kit has a really strong support system, surrounding him.
@@sinceslicedbread7422 absolutely
Wasn't sure if I should "like" this. It's sad that the video had to be made, but you covered the topic perfectly. Thanks for putting so well what so many of us feel.
This entire episode is heartbreaking. As a massive fan of Heartstopper, I send all the love in the world to Kit Connor. And, I say to him, do not let mean spirited people dim the light that so clearly shines within you.
Courtney you did a tremendous job of articulating your feeling about this situation. I can't praise or send you enough coodoos for your statement. I found it heartbreaking how social media and texting has lead a whole generation or generations to loose their humanity. Since everything is now done and viewed from a distance and no longer happens live face to face.
Well said! I just discovered heartstopper and wow. An amazing show and incredible acting by all. Truly a heart warming series. Hope Kit is ok
You didn’t fail him, Courtney. He just was forced to discuss his sexuality with the world and social media. Also, he was accused of queer baiting, so you did nothing wrong. The fans of the show who didn’t like Kit, forced him to come out, so you’re not in the wrong here, they are
FACTS
They are not fans they are trolls
True fans respect every actor/actress.
@@marktegrotenhuis so true
I really wished he’d just ignored it, but I suspect he thought by not coming out and putting the issue to rest it might hurt the show and the careers of fellow actors. It’s a real shame he felt so compelled.
I’m proud of all of the cast equally. Kit played his part perfectly he is what he is and we should of just accepted it. Not questioned him.
I hope Kit’s doing OK. 💖💜💙
Even if someone is famous and well-known, why is their sexuality something other people feel like they have a right to know?
As a bisexual person, I feel like we didn’t do enough to protect him. When I saw his coming out tweet, my heart just stopped (no pun intended). He deserved so much better than this. No one should be forced to publicize something so personal. No one should be forced to come out if they don’t want to.
To anyone who reads this, you are so valid and so loved, regardless of your sexuality. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
Hi, can you please help me with this in simple language as English is not my first language.... "is people forced him to came out as bi even though he is not bi" ?
So eloquently said. Thank you.
I felt sure you'd have thoughts on this and have been waiting to hear your take. I was gutted for him at the time and in all likelihood will be again by this video. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts.
I'm so glad to finally see someone speaking up about this. What an absolutely disgusting position to put somebody in.
My heart broke for him when I saw his tweet.
Absolutely nobody has any right to demand knowledge of anybody else's sexuality, at any time, ever. It's such a toxic approach to something that is so deeply personal.
So thank you for speaking out about this.
The other infuriating aspect of this was that part of what drew Kit out to post his tweet was the misguided, accusations of "queerbaiting" -- they were claiming that he was deliberately teasing the fanbase by remaining unlabeled, and then committing the unthinkable crime of hanging out with his female co-star from a movie he was shooting (who BTW is also bi).
This was not just an act of trolls who never watched Heartstopper, it was also an act of betrayal by actual fans (or in this case, fanatics, which is where the word comes from) who are chronically online and addicted to posting opinions and outrage over everything that passes while they scroll.
In their double ignorance, they weren't even using the word "queerbaiting" correctly -- individuals can't queerbait. The word is a marketing term, meant to describe companies (specifically TV shows/movies) that tease LGBTQ characters or situations/themes but don't follow through with actual LGBTQ content.
These obsessed fanatics simply weren't happy seeing Kit photographed with a girl. And they took to social media to inexplicably try to appear morally superior while posting their vile bullshit. They reacted like spoiled cruel children using big words that they didn't even understand. And yes, some of these trolls were hardcore obsessed 'fans' who have spent every day since the show's premiere going overboard with social media content that is sometimes downright embarrassing and concerning. The phrase "touch some grass" really applies here.
Kit really nailed it in his tweet when he said that these people really missed the point of the show.
IT'S NO ONE'S BUSINESS BUT THE DAMAGE IS DONE. So wrong.
Hi Courtney, I'm a bit late on this posting as I've only just seen it and now feel compelled to comment.
I'm a gay bloke in my 60s and like so many of my peers wished we had something like Heartstopper in our day. Such a beautiful, if idealistic series,
something LGBTQ+ people can watch and feel good about themselves rather than the tragic figures a lot of gay media portrays. We've come a long way since my
youth and it does my heart good to see the changes in attitude towards us and the support we now have. What I didn't expect was members of our own community
taking advantage of the rights they now enjoy to 'out' each other like this in such a vicious manner. My generation didn't make the sacrifices they did
for members of our own community to behave like this! Why would LGBTQ+ people do this to each other?
'Coming Out' is something that all of us has in common, those of us that can anyway, and it is a totally unique event to LGBTQ+ people. It's intensely
personal and one of the most frightening things any LGBTQ+ person may do in their life as consequences can be severe. To take away somebody's right to 'go
public' in their own time by members of our own so called 'community' is the lowest of the low and those LGBTQ+ people responsible should be utterly ashamed of
themselves! It sickens me and belittles everything my generation sacrificed and fought for, and some even died for. Is it jealousy? Is it that that they've
had bad experiences and taking it out on others? Do they just get a kick out of it? Or are they just simply mean-spirited individuals with chips on their
shoulders and want others to feel as miserable as they are? Whatever the reason it's totally unacceptable! Hopefully, some day in the not too distant future
coming out will no longer be necessary and all this controversy simply won't exist. We can but hope.
Anyway..... Old Man rant over....... breeeeaaathe.............
Thank you Courtney for such a heartfelt video and I just hope Kit can put all this behind him and take solace in videos/posts like this that shows
the massive support he has. He, like the rest of the cast, are very talented individuals and I hope the future holds many good things and exciting
opportunities for all of them.
what you said in this video, dear Courtney, was so right and sensitive and respectful of Kit and his story, as you always are...
Merry Christmas MR COURTNEY JAI.
Merry Christmas to you to
Courtney; thanks for this! Oh, and sorry for the War & Peace… I’ve held off for a couple of days before commenting because, frankly, I don’t think I’ve ever been so angry on someone else’s behalf in my life! Anyone with a brain cell could see after his “I don’t feel the need to label myself” interview would’ve got where he was coming from…I was forcibly outed at work over 20ya by a nob-head boss! Knowing what I know now he would’ve had his *rse handed to him on a silver platter!!! Kit’s not in a position to do that though is he?
The worst feeling is when your personal control is taken away, your world feels like it’s falling apart, there’s more than a hint of panic and you just aren’t psyched up for a backlash… horrible position to be in.
The “community” (which I’m starting to believe doesn’t really exist) is like all other communities… it has some horrible people in it. It also has cruelly opinionated ones, busybodies and those who “know better than anybody else!” it also has great ones who vastly outnumber the sh*tty ones!!!
What the detractors hadn’t reckoned with is the backlash AGAINST THEM! It’s been very quiet from that corner for a while hasn’t it? Got to admit though, that the photoshoot in Brazil showed Kit and Joe looking the most relaxed I’ve seen them in a long time, which is great to see…
On a lighter note; at least Kit has found that with the amount of support he’s got, he’ll never have to look far for an organ donor! Thanks again Courtney. Don’t be sad, because I’m absolutely positive your appearance in the show was a great help to him like it’s been a massive help to many who saw you… Can’t wait for your Series 2 reactions… Have a great Christmas all!
Well said and put. These "fans" feels that they are entitled to know everything about Kit & his life. I'm sorry that he was forced to reveal himself against his terms. Thank you for your video.
You have said this so well Courtney and captured the mood and feeling of so many of us of how Kit Connor has been treated and it’s perhaps hard to recognise the overwhelming intrusion fans/people were having into Kit’s private life by their comments. Fans/people just need to know where that line is and stop feeling the burgeoning need to cross it into knowing peoples sexuality.
I totally agree that the media and idly curious onlookers made his coming out that much more brutal than it needed to be. My heart goes out to this talented young man, and good on you, Courtney Jai, for showing your support.
Since I first saw that tweet, I have been devastated and disappointed in the community. As someone who identifies as bisexual themselves, I felt deeply emotional at the amount of fans who accused him of queerbaiting for simply holding hands with a girl. I know how hard it is to decide to come out from personal experience, so the fact that he felt it was the only way to stop the harassment is dreadful. Moreover, I never cared for what his sexuality was. I met someone who identified as unlabeled during the summer, and while I didn't get it at first I now understand it. You don't want to label it specifically, it's fluid, it flows. These are all valid reasons, reasons that we should've taken Kit's answer as it was. I'm sorry, Kit. No one deserves this.
It’s awful breaks my heart kit deserves so much better
I know I’m a bit late with this comment, but I discovered Heartstopper later than everyone else. I literally watched season 1 when season 2 was already out. I knew about the show, like a little bit, but nothing too much. And then one day I saw something (I think it was an article) about Kit coming out, but I didn’t pay enough attention to read it all, because I was with my friends and at the moment I was so happy for him, I’m always happy when people feel comfortable to come out and can embrace who they are. When I did get to know the whole situation ( which happened to me recently) I’ve been so mad and heartbroken since.. I don’t understand how can people do this.. I don’t even wanna call them people and especially not fans, they don’t deserve neither of these titles. Coming out is such an important and vulnerable moment and I can’t believe someone dared to ruin that for him… I’ve seen that video of Kit, Joe and Sebastian reacting to some scenes from the show and when they’re reacting to Nicks coming out scene ( Idk maybe I’m looking too much into it) I can see how hurt Kit is and it looks like he’s about to start crying… It hurts, It deeply hurts. I’m probably typing way too much in this comment, but I just wanted to tell this out loud. I just hope he’s okey now. I just want to give him the biggest hug and tell him sorry that he had to go through this… 💔
Very well stated Courtney. It should not have happened. Very well thought out as well. People just take things too far at times and do not understand or release the impact on someone's life and what it may do to them. This is his life and it should be handled accordingly.
Hello Courtney-Jay!
Thank you for being the awesome person that you are! Everyone who played a part in shipping him with someone or trying to guess his sexuality added to the negative feelings he felt from his fans, whether they really are one or not. The queerbaiting accusations were just too much to handle, and that costed his sanity. Coming out is so hard, and pushing someone to reveal their true self when they're not ready is WRONG on every level!
P.S. I believe you didn't see my comment on a previous video about writing your short clips in Heartstopper, because I commented late. You deserve to read it because every word I wrote is true. Thank you for being this strong force in the community.
I completely agree with you. What confounds me is how someone can watch Heartstopper and then go on to behave this way. Did they not understand anything this show stands for? How can you call yourself a fan and then do something that goes against everything this show is about. These people have tainted the fandom and should be ashamed of themselves. I also blame the toxicity of social media, aided by the relative anonymity it allows. Heartbreaking events.
May the year of 2023 be another positive thinking year for BISEXUAL young men and women of the LGBT community and you continue to help lead the way on the front line in the battle for EQUALITY.
Well said I couldn't have said it any better myself
This is so heartbreaking no one should feel forced into revealing anything about themselves. The fact that he is only 18 just makes it so much worse. I hope true fans will support actors going forward but especially Kit. Thank you for always being honest and I’m glad Kit and other young people have someone like you to look up to.
well said. he should have never needed to do this. he definitely does not deserve this after all he's done through heartstopper.
Thank you for addressing this. I think it is a real shame that Kit felt forced to come out especially if it was driven by those within our LGBTQ+ community. You are right that we all know that it’s the biggest moment when we declare who we are in the face of not knowing whether we will be accepted and loved. Usually we can at least count on our community for this. If it’s our own community forcing someone to come out that’s definitely a breakdown within the community. I think the best we can do now is show Kit Connor love, support, and acceptance. ❤️🏳️🌈
I look forward to what you have to say on this. Kit was really hounded on this matter.
This seems to be a trend of this younger generation and a product of social media. I am 39 and I didn't come out until my senior year (once I was 17) so if my parents kicked me out if they found out, I would be able to support myself. I couldn't imagine EVER saying the things that were said to this poor boy in a million years.
Love your video! Can’t stand what these “fans” did to Kit and the way they’ve treated other cast members as well. It really puts a cloud over the bright, shiny, beautiful gift Alice and the actors have given us with Heartstopper. I found HS this past August, so I wasn’t aware of what happened, at the time, to Kit, but learning of it has broken my heart. He really is such a special soul! ❤🍂😭
Yeah, they kinda attacked everyone in some way or form it's the sad thing when fans all bunch up and become too passionate the moment something is different from what they expect they lash out. Even I got it for saying pretty much what would happen with Ben in the second series.
@@Courtney-Jai that’s too bad! All these gifted actors and people who put their time and energy into making our world more LGBTQIA+ friendly and more seen in a positive light…and people in our own community hurt each other. I’m so grateful for finding Heartstopper, Alice, this cast, and awesome creators like you that help me understand this new found me and bring light, truth and openness to a world that’s been so dark. Sending good vibes and happiness out to all of you! 😍🍂❤️
people sometimes don't contain themselves.. and this makes me think about what disgusting and disrespectful people there are around. and kit didn't deserve all that hate anyway. he is the most spectacular, kind, sweet and nice person I have ever seen.🥺🙏🏻
The pressure in the social media can be so harsh. The family, and other people in media need it to help him with all that weight. He can be whatever he feels and dont say whatever he want.
Love you, and love Kit. No one should have to go through what he did, and if I ever meet any of those bastards in a back alley, I'd kick their asses for what they did. Okay, that is a bit of a stretch considering I am 50 and am recovering from complications from ankle surgery, but they piss me off so bad!
It's like people watched Love, Simon and didn't learn shit.
Common problem with people today is entitlement, because someone opens up to the public doesn't mean they need to tell you everthing about themselves.
We love you kit and thanks for sharing this Courtney ❤
I'm still fuming about this as well. 😢
Kit comes across as a lovely gentleman and it's just disgusting how some miserable people have done this to him. I'm so glad you managed to put into words how a lot of us are feeling about this ... even after 2 months Kit's Outing still upsets me.
Kudos to you CJ. xx
As a victim of bullying that was so bad I completely repressed any bisexual urges so well that I didn't even realize I was bi until I was 35, I can't say enough about how sad and disappointing this is to hear. Heartstopper is such an amazing series that I feel like really helped me work through some emotions that I didn't even know I had, and I applaud them for their efforts. Super sad to hear that this happened.
Ahh this is so frustrating to me 🥺, can u please explain to me in simple way what actually happened ... I'm just replying to so many comments asking for it 🥺
He hated when I heard this weeks ago. He was forced out and I know what it means to be forced to come out before you're ready. It's fucked up and he has my full and absolute support. That was wrong and uncalled for. It pisses me off and he's just a boy. Like wtf guys. 😤😤
I'm disappointed too... Kit Connor didn't want to come out of the closet and they forced him. I feel so bad for him :(
Yes, we as a community has failed him, the community infatuated by the tv show harassed him out of the closet.
Lots of people jumped on the HS bandwagon without paying attention to its message. To them it was a vehicle for recognition. Shit…
I wish I would have seen the show earlier. But I just rn watched it being a part of this community I am disappointed from the community and just trying to stand up for what is right.. .
Millions of his TRUE fans are so upset about this.. We will never call him names , never force him to do or say anything, we will love you forever and always Kit Connor ❤🥰 thank you Coutney for saying this I agree with all my sad heart!!
It was really sad that 'fans' made him feel he had to make that statement, i.e. come out. And it's really against the overall message of 'Heartstopper'.
Your comments are spot on. A very personal decision should not be forced. I am sure that your involvement in the series probably gave Kit some confidence that he was doing a good thing for the whole community. Your video clips in the series show how being bisexual is a positive thing and your message of self acceptance is clear. Thanks for your contribution to the series. 💕
He's profoundly strong and courageous as much as he's such a beautiful person. That s***t has to turn into a higher level of counsciousness and strenght to him, and I'm sure it already does. I do agree with you when you say about lgbtqia+ community in a circumstance like this. He's as profoundly strong and courageous as I bet you are. He's as necessary as you are! ❤🧡💛💚💙💜
Im sorry to hear that this happend
The way Kit was treated is infuriating and heartbreaking. I don't think the people who harassed and bullied him were true fans of Heartstopper or the brilliant young cast, because the whole situation goes against everything Heartstopper stands for. I like to hope that the massive wave of public support for Kit and the outrage on his behalf from the true fans helped his heart, just a little. He does seem much more light hearted and at ease in public appearances since the announcement, but that's probably because he took away the ammunition from the bullies.
Good Video Courtney, I am currently listening to a Doctor Who audio story called Stranded, and it has a Trans character in the form of Tania Bell in it.
I think people need to acknowledge that we don’t have a right to someone else’s truth. Only to our own. It never mattered to me whether Kit was gay or straight or bi or ace or pan. I never cared. All I cared about was that he was an accepting and affirming person regardless of his own sexuality. And the fact that he took the role told me he was.
It’s sad to me that people still don’t seem to get it.
I'm a little (very) late to the discussion, but like any rational being, I found outraging to see a teenager being forced to expose himself like that by so-called fans/supporters (immature and ignorant kids), when he made that tweet.
Later I saw Kit talk about writing and sending it. He said that he did that out of anger and regretted it afterwards. He was truly angry at how fans were acting (which again... imo what happens when kids are raised by the internet, and not by loving parents.... pure ignorance). His statement made me less upset though, seeing that he didn't write out of pain or depression. I think he's stronger and more confident than we gave him credit for. The tweet was important as it was at least a tiny piece of a reality check for kids/teens that maybe never have that at home, thus it was meaningful. On the other hand, of course Kit could also just stand his ground to try to convey the message that they were wrong to begin with. In the end, although I wish he had held his ground, but I hope the tweet helped a lot of people (sadly through causing pain and regret in fans, which I believe is why Kit regretted posting it).
It was a painful lesson that fans needed... If anything, they got Kit to be more careful than ever about sharing from now on, which I'm sure fans didn't think about because of plain ignorance/immaturity. Life lessons... needed one way or another...
I think heartstopper fantom can go to the extremes like other fandoms I don't think there's a memeber of the cast who wasn't attacked in some way like this , I've even been on the end of a few because people feel like they can say and do what ever they want online.
The guy on so called bisexual real talk came out solidly and savagely against Kit Connor. I have never looked at his channel, since.
Thats very sad i watched his channel in the past , kit was put in a very difficult situation that no one should have to be and if he didn't come out now then it would have been years of him being asked the same questions.
I just wish everyone was able to just live and enjoy their life as they choose without being under a microscope
Man your hairs are incredible .
Only when I tame it the rest of the time its a pain in the ass
All those people that forced him to come out failed to see the point of Heartstopper. He should’ve never had to go through that and I feel so bad for him
"Did we fail him?" Big time. He gave so much to the community which should've made him feel safe and protected, what he got in return apart from love was people accusing him of queerbaiting simply because he hadn't come out yet, by a community that prides itself on empathy and understanding. It's fucking disgraceful what happened to him and I hope all the love and support he's got after that forced coming out at least somewhat is able to make up for what happened, even a bit. He's amazing and I think I speak for most of us when I say he and Heartstopper has got a special in our hearts ❤
Absolutely he was failed. The only thing that gives me some consolation is that he seems to have adjusted or rebounded from it, and I do think it's pretty stirring how he now refers to himself directly as LGBTQ when he speaks. What an amazing young man! We don't deserve him.
Is this the same guy who Nick watched on TH-cam, except he had longer hair?
That guy is me yes , hi 👋
@@Courtney-Jai omg you were great in the soon to be classic Heartstopper. How appropriate you are commenting as your character did when he was giving advice to the character Nick
Something that I keep thinking about is that, while yes, the trolls who relentlessly bullied Kit were horrific... WHERE WAS HIS SUPPORT FROM THE ADULTS SURROUNDING HIM?!
Where were his agents, See Saw Films, Netflix, Alice Oseman, etc., or even Twitter while all the bullying was going on? Why weren't any of THEM stepping up and making strong comments denouncing the treatment? Telling people that people cannot queerbait? Telling people that while it's no one's business, THEY were satisfied with Kit's qualifications for playing his role? Telling them in strong, supportive words that they had Kit's back? Why weren't people being banned from the platform for bullying?
Sure, it was easy for the above mentioned to jump on the "Support Kit" bandwagon after he outed himself.
But I firmly believe that if Kit had better public support from the adults who SHOULD have been protecting him, then perhaps he might not have had to come out the way he did at all.
I did what I could and I can't speak for others but I'm sure they spoke out aswell unfortunately, somthing you learn being in thr public eye is negative comment far outway positive ones I could have 100 good comments but thr ones that always stay with me are the few negative ones. If you amplified that by millions, then it becomes an unstoppable force that's always on your mind.
@@Courtney-Jai 😢 My rant above was not meant to include you, Courtney. I'm sorry if it was taken that way.
And perhaps you're correct that steps WERE taken by the others in good faith but they weren't enough to stem the tide of negativity. You also make a really good point about the increased pressure that much negativity would place on someone in the public eye.
I'm just so saddened and frustrated by the situation. As a parent of two queer adults not much older than Kit, I can't help but think about the impact, the "What if it had been one of them?", you know?
It was so incredibly brave of Kit, and also so terribly heartbreaking. I wish that his outing would finally bring about an end to the gatekeeping and toxic speculation in the media and in fandom, but I fear it will not. 💔
Heartstopper’s Alice Oseman’s latest book is *Loveless* (written years after HS). In it the MC joins the LGBTQ+ society at university and befriends the society’s president. The latter bemoans the fact that the outgoing president is upset at more ‘letters’ are added to the LGBTQ community. As a gay person, the outgoing prez is upset that his society is becoming MORE inclusive… 🤢
I think the sad thing about the LGBTQ+ Is I've noticed how easy alot of people start to see it as exclusive rather then it being inclusive , like this one size fits all agenda and because its becoming more acceptable the time for people to find who they are , seems to dwindle because of the patience of others.
I also own the book I just haven't got round to reading them all yet sad part about being an adult I never seem to have time 😔.
Love, Simon the story and the writers set the stage on this new black mail technique. "Queer baiting" is the new hammer of the haters.
I feel very bad for him because of the crazies who bullied him so much. But, at the same time, I admire his maturity tremendously. Those bullies are naive and mean. The very idea that only an LGBTQ+ actor can play an LGBTQ+ person on screen is ridiculous. An actor can play any part. The corollary of that naive belief is that an LGBTQ+ actor could not play a straight person on screen. That would mean that LGBTQ+ actors would not be able to work enough to make a living. The bullies were not just mean; they are dumb and thoughtless.
This made me hate people even more. This made me feel ashamed to be part of the Heartstopper fandom knowing that people made Kit come out. He had every right to come out on his own when he’d feel ready and comfortable to do so, and all people did was take that away from him. Kit is a kind hearted person who made a huge difference in our lives, and those people who harassed, bullied, and accused him of queer baiting should be ashamed and disgusted with themselves. I just hope Kit is doing alright and this doesn’t take away his smile. There’s already so many angry people out in the world and I hope Kit doesn’t become like that. There was one person who commented that Kit was being dramatic and didn’t give a shit about his feelings. I wouldn’t be surprised if that person was one of those assholes who harassed Kit into coming out. So yeah, what those people did to Kit made me hate people even more.
You didn't fail him, he was just forced to discuss his sexuality. He was forced to share something that didn't really need to be shared because it's no one's business only his and people he wants to share it with. To all the people who bullied him into coming out should feel very ashamed of themselves and need to work on bettering themselves.
Kit deserves as much privacy as possible as he is only 18 and all of this pressure is something he shouldn't have to go through.
These people who harass, bully and pester Kit online aren't fans, they were jerks and need to learn.
Love you Courtney xx
You did not fall him Courtney he was forced to come out the people that forced him to come out should be ashamed of themselves
I know I am late to this, but I honestly don't think I have ever been so disappointed in the LGBTQ community. It really breaks my heart for Kit Connor because he didn't owe that information to anyone. It took me years to come out as Bisexual and I still struggle with it sometimes. People just had no right, no right at all. And to kit Connor I am so sorry that you felt so much pressure you thought you had no choice. No one has any right to anyone else's sexuality. And quite frankly some people just need to grow up. So yeah we did fail him.
I lost hope on the alphabet soup community eons ago!!! Our so called “community” is TOXIC AF!!!!!!
I just can't believe how people can judge a person compared to reel life characters
Seriously people are getting hypocrite and stupid
❤
This is a fun show. So is Young Royals. I have noticed that these netizens aren’t going after those 2 cast members. What was done to Kit was wrong. I think most gay movies which have gay actors just suck. I don’t know if the writing is bad, the budget is too small, the acting is bad,or a combination of it all. I don’t have a problem with the straight guy playing a gay guy. If the story works, and is the believable, that’s all that counts.
Media needs to STOP speculating & encouraging all the gossip about public figures sexualities.
& For fuck's sake the phrase queerbaiting N needs to never be applied to real people.
Kit is so very young & I'm heartbroken that he had to come out in a way & time that wasn't what he really wanted.
It is inconceivable that KC was forced out by a few people on a platform on which he was not really active. It is much more complicated and this is my analysis. If you watch the youtube making of Heartstopper video, Patrick Walters says that casting authentically was an “absolute priority.” This was also what Alice Oseman wanted and in an LGBTQ production can only mean one thing. Whilst this was fine for It’s a Sin where the actors were older and the identities known, it was wrong to do that with minors. There are then lots of questions. Did the show runners just make the “authentic casting” bit up? Did KC know they were going to make that claim? Did he lie to get a part he knew would make him? Did he volunteer info about himself? What is clear is that there were always going to be problems down the line when a LGBTQ show is crowing about authentic casting and a lead actor refuses to confirm. I think that this robbed KC of the opportunity to say he was a straight ally with a gf without making the show runners look like liars. This is why he went for the “unlabelled” option. To sustain this, he makes his first gf pretend to be best friend and make sure no PDAs etc even though they had been seen together around London, Croydon, shared a hotel room in Paris etc. Then there was the Queerbaiting - hinting at an LGBTQ identity without committing or being specific which he does in his interviews (W mag, Hunger) etc which is just not kind for a show with such a fragile and vulnerable fan base. The strategy falls apart when he meets Maia and his straight boy ego kicks in. He just can’t believe his luck getting with a hot actress 4 years older and wants to show off, so they are seem holding hands in public, going up to hotel room together, lets her post topless photos of him etc. At this point questions are starting to be asked - what’s going on here? Who is lying? Authentic casting? Then comes the bizarre nocturnal statement about him being bi. This would have been thought out (perhaps with PR team) in advance and has lots of advantages for him 1. He plays the victim as if he had nothing to do with what happened (not true) 2. He can chase actresses like Maia and no one can say anything. 3. People who had never heard of him now know who he is 4. The queerbaiting accusations are forgotten 5. The show runners don’t look like liars 6. He has probably got his eye on some roles where bi would be an advantage. But best of all, as he says he was forced out before he was ready, in 3-5 years he can say that the bi thing was just a phase after all…
one major flaw to your theory kit never originally auditioned for the role of nick , he actually auditioned for the role of Charlie and was asked by alice to audition as nick. It wasn't just on twitter he was confronted on his sexuality it was in real life by news outlets , by every fan he met every time he went on social media. People will always ask questions but being confronted by thousands if not millions of people at the tender age of just 18 is alot for anyone to take. I know one bad comment can put me into a bad state, imagine that on a global scale. Just to add to my point, you yourself are doing the exact same thing and because he's a celebrity you deem it to be okay but let's say if the roles were reversed and the spot light was on you would you deem that same attitude to be okay.
He auditioned as Charlie as it was a Charlie monologue that was sent out for the zoom audition that is all. Joe got that too. Quite normal to audition usingbone part but get another. So where does that leave us with the authentic casting? Is this the reason he was moved to Nick or did the show runners just make it all up? They seemed pretty certain when they went on and on about it. KC has never cleared up what actually happened in a proper interview for us to know what went on. He should do this. I have called other things correctly well in advance about this show and think I am right here. I called an eventual cynical bi statement months ago.
With respect Courtney Jai I don't agree with the second part of your post. I am not a famous actor. They have opportunities, status, influence and wealth that most people can only dream of. With that comes a degree of scrutiny. KC has been in the business for 10 years and knows this. I suppose the question is what degree of scrutiny is appropriate. If you take a part in an LGBTQ production which has authentic casting as a priority as a main character there are going to be questions. In addition, if he did not want to tslk about his sexuality he could have done just that ( like Edvin Ryding). Instead in interviews he kept making these am-I-aren't-I-I'll-keep-you-wondering statements which was neither wise nor kind with a fan base who had been through these struggles. In terms of representation it also looked like this show was saying gay representation tick, trans representation tick bi representation..who cares lets just use someone who has done loads of TV before. I am amazed the Bi community were not more annoyed by this. Incidentally this is still what I think happened. Just because someone makes a claim about themselves does not mean it is true.
😔💜
Courtney, I think you will really like this: th-cam.com/video/Oa6AnOCQD50/w-d-xo.html
These people who call themselves "fans", have not understand the whole message behind Heartstopper. It's disgusting.
Unfortunately there are too many people who just want to make everyone else's business their own. Kit Connor played the role of a bisexual youth very respectfully and with great maturity. His character Nick Nelson is very endearing. Those of you who feel that Kit's sexual orientation is your business shame on you. Actors and others in the public still deserve their privacy.
It's terrible. No 18 year old kid should have to clarify their sexuality in public. I wish he hadn't paid attention to god*amned social media. It can be so toxic. Actors shouldn't respond to people who don't respect their right to a private life. Who knows how this will affect him going forward?
While I completely agree this should never have happened to him (or anyone), at the end of the day, he's an 18 -year-old Emmy Award winning actor with a film and a second season of his show coming out, a contract for a third season, and who knows how many other projects lined up, and they are a bunch of internet trolls, hiding behind their keyboards. I'm hoping all the love he's gotten since the tweet shows him how people that matter feel about him.
But as are the times the Internet is the biggest influence these celebrities face , I don't think it really matters about who he is or where he's going wrong is wrong. If he didn't come out now everthing he would do would questioned not just by Internet trolls but news outlets to.
@@Courtney-Jai, I think (hope) this will all blow over for him as his career continues to skyrocket. He has enough going on in his life that he shouldn't have to deal with this too. But I agree, wrong is wrong.
no one should be fouce to come out and i wish people stop fouceing people to came out when they are not ready same people are so selfish and every one should mind there bussiness and keep there month close and every one who bi gay all any other they all deserves there privacy and they have feelings aswell it not far and people have no right to jugie sorry about the spelling kit connor is the sweeties person he should have to go though that or anyone people dont understand how painful it can be for people there to many ass hole who dont care all they want to do is hurt people who are diffrent they are human beans just like everyone else.
No one should EVER be forced to co e out before they are ready! Those people who made him to do this were very evil people! 🏳️🌈🥺🏳️🌈
We’re you the bi character online let me know thanks so much
You mean in heartstopper, yes I was actually just playing myself because I really am bi and story I tell is my own.
If we have failed anyone, it's because we allow this "queerbaiting" business to go unchallenged. Seems to me that acting is about portraying something OTHER than yourself. Do we really want to prevent queer actors from taking straight roles? English or British actors from playing the Danish prince Hamlet? I'm not even sure that every allegation of "blackface" or "yellowface" portrayal has merit. Should a Cambodian or Vietnamese actor be prevented from playing the Thai King of Siam in the King and I? What about the very famous all black cast of "Hello Dolly" that played on Broadway half a lifetime ago? Pearl Bailey as a 50-something Jewish widow shopping for a second husband? Really? And wasn't Ms. Streisand more than a bit too young to star in the film version? Should we insist on seeing actual Hobbits and Elves in "The Lord of the Rings" films? Wasn't Mr. Mortensen somewhat less than 200 or so years old when those films were made? The point is the effectiveness of actor in putting across the viewpoint of the writer and/or director.
I don't think it matters at all in the case of "Heartstopper" and Mr. Connor what his private life is about. His portrayal of a mid-teen making discoveries about himself was spot on: effective, accessible and touching. Should we perhaps insist on using a 16 y/o (Mr. Connor was 17, after all, when the show was made) who hasn't yet come out or even thought about this possibility? This whole business is ridiculous. It is perhaps only due to Mr. Connor's age and inexperience that these horrid meddlers were able to drive their wedge into the discussion. I've often thought that among the greatest benefits of advanced age (from the viewpoint of 70) is absolute certainty that almost nothing really matters, other than the people you love and who love you (and there's precious little that can effect that).
The problem was less about the bullying than the fact that anyone cares about the sexual identity of some random actor on TV. What difference does it make?
You're so beautiful 😍
I think it was disgusting how he was forced to do this. Who gives a shit what his sexuality is. He should not have been forced to come out until he was ready. Defo not your fault chick. You have always been acceptance personified xxxx
People absolutely don't learn don't they? From George Michael, Lance Bass, Rebel Wilson.... now Kit Connor. I don't get the thrill these people have while forcing queer person out of closet.
Agree with you but don’t call an 18 year old a kid. He is a young man confronted with a horrible situation.
Can you provide?
Bisexual Episodes
Polyamorous Episodes
Gender Nonconforming Episodes
Demisexual Episodes
More Fluidly Individual Episodes
I will try my best u try and collab with others on their sexuality for example I have one with victor who's bisexual and is from Norway, I have moa from Japan and I also have corey from South africa