Anyone who ever lived around or with narcissistic people will tell you that yes it does run out. Compassion is rewarding when it gets perceived results from the "helper's" perspective. It doesn't run out permanently, and does come back after rest or re-ignites after receiving/feeling compassion from another (as explained in the video). Some call it "healing".
That is why sometimes I have to wake up late and feel so weak and tired after spending time with people like when I go on a little vacation and talk to so many people and they tell me that they feel depressed, then instead of it being a cool time, I end up feeling like I was a therapist the whole time.
I feel that something crucial that was not covered in the video is that the compassion/ability we have to help (be it with money, mental/emotional energy, time, etc) IS in fact limited. You as an individual can only do so much, only spend so much time helping, only spending so much money to help them, only talking with them about their issues so much, before the money, time, or emotional energy you need to set aside for yourself to pay your bills, or take time to focus on other aspects of your life, or have emotional energy to use on yourself for self-improvement, and all this you need to be happy and healthy is going to this other person or cause. Without recognizing that you need to help yourself to an extent before helping others, and setting in place strong boundaries to reflect that, you run the risk of running yourself into the ground, spending all of your money or mental energy on this other person and leaving you destitute and/or with serious compassion fatige symptoms. Please take care of yourselves; you are not fully responsible for other people's happiness, and only have full control over your own Much love ♡
I agree it’s next to impossible to help others all alone. But considering the power of a community and synergy, it does pay dividends to help specially those who want to help themselves and others. Buddha called it a sangha. Specially when you can help people find their whys in life. Indeed there’s no limit to their hows. Thank you for sharing.
I think you are right. I think that the fatigue comed from empathy and not from compassion. Its different areas in the brain that activates regarding empathy and compassion. You need both though.
I suffer with this and I'm not a doctor. I have 1 friend in particular who needs help a lot but sometimes she doesn't understand. If I just ask her if she is looking for a job, she gets offended. If I disappoint her in the slightest, she says she doesn't want to talk to me. She's in a situation where she depends on others to help her. I can't help her financially anymore without breaking myself and it devastates me because I don't know how much effort she is putting into fixing her own situation. I think now she depends on me and others. How is this situation beneficial for me and the world that surrounds me? I think some of your commentary is a little situational bias.
Mi humilde comentario es que la compasion nunca es la causa de la fatiga o el desgaste de la persona que cuida. No conozco profesionales que aconsejen ser MENOS compasivos, si que las personas que cuidan a otros se cuiden y sean MAS compasivos con ellos mismos. Y entiendo que hace años atras cuando se comienza a hablar del desgaste o fatiga por compasion se hizo tambien por ese contenido de accion, de hacer, que tiene el termino. Creo que se discuten aveces mas las palabras que la esencia misma del sindrome.
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Anyone who ever lived around or with narcissistic people will tell you that yes it does run out. Compassion is rewarding when it gets perceived results from the "helper's" perspective. It doesn't run out permanently, and does come back after rest or re-ignites after receiving/feeling compassion from another (as explained in the video). Some call it "healing".
Yesss! Thank you! I was feeling at the end like a statement like this NEEDED to be included!!
That is why sometimes I have to wake up late and feel so weak and tired after spending time with people like when I go on a little vacation and talk to so many people and they tell me that they feel depressed, then instead of it being a cool time, I end up feeling like I was a therapist the whole time.
I feel that something crucial that was not covered in the video is that the compassion/ability we have to help (be it with money, mental/emotional energy, time, etc) IS in fact limited.
You as an individual can only do so much, only spend so much time helping, only spending so much money to help them, only talking with them about their issues so much, before the money, time, or emotional energy you need to set aside for yourself to pay your bills, or take time to focus on other aspects of your life, or have emotional energy to use on yourself for self-improvement, and all this you need to be happy and healthy is going to this other person or cause. Without recognizing that you need to help yourself to an extent before helping others, and setting in place strong boundaries to reflect that, you run the risk of running yourself into the ground, spending all of your money or mental energy on this other person and leaving you destitute and/or with serious compassion fatige symptoms.
Please take care of yourselves; you are not fully responsible for other people's happiness, and only have full control over your own
Much love ♡
👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
Thank you. I agree. I think sometimes these videos are situational bias.
I agree it’s next to impossible to help others all alone. But considering the power of a community and synergy, it does pay dividends to help specially those who want to help themselves and others. Buddha called it a sangha. Specially when you can help people find their whys in life. Indeed there’s no limit to their hows. Thank you for sharing.
An excellent resource! Really unpacks burnout and positions compassion as a renewable and sustainable resource. Congrats!!
I think you are right. I think that the fatigue comed from empathy and not from compassion. Its different areas in the brain that activates regarding empathy and compassion. You need both though.
I suffer with this and I'm not a doctor. I have 1 friend in particular who needs help a lot but sometimes she doesn't understand. If I just ask her if she is looking for a job, she gets offended. If I disappoint her in the slightest, she says she doesn't want to talk to me. She's in a situation where she depends on others to help her. I can't help her financially anymore without breaking myself and it devastates me because I don't know how much effort she is putting into fixing her own situation. I think now she depends on me and others.
How is this situation beneficial for me and the world that surrounds me?
I think some of your commentary is a little situational bias.
Mi humilde comentario es que la compasion nunca es la causa de la fatiga o el desgaste de la persona que cuida. No conozco profesionales que aconsejen ser MENOS compasivos, si que las personas que cuidan a otros se cuiden y sean MAS compasivos con ellos mismos. Y entiendo que hace años atras cuando se comienza a hablar del desgaste o fatiga por compasion se hizo tambien por ese contenido de accion, de hacer, que tiene el termino. Creo que se discuten aveces mas las palabras que la esencia misma del sindrome.
Excelente!,
When I first seen the thumbnail picture,,,I thought it was,,Sassy the Sasquatch!😂