Let's talk about my failed attempts...
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 7 ก.ค. 2020
- Okay, it's time to put the jokes to one side and actually tell you what happened. I know a lot of people thought the book would cover this topic more, but as it fell into the alcohol chapter, I could only touch on it. But here's the nitty gritty of my failures. I know people have mixed feelings on joking about these things, but for me, it helps me cope. BIG HUGE TRIGGER WARNING TOO!
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HOPELINEUK is a confidential support and advice service for children and young people under the age of 35 who are experiencing thoughts of suicide, or anyone concerned that a young person could be thinking about suicide.
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This is not something I usually say to people, but well: I'm glad you failed.
Everyone fails at something no one is perfect, a test an exam list goes on and on.. That's how we learn
@@sarahcrane6940 you didn't understand what he was trying to say, did you?
@@sarahcrane6940 He was glad she failed suicide... you realise that he meant that... right?
@@steelchives2522 no I didn't know he meant that. I'm pretty sure he didn't mean that either. Why say it's not something I would usually say!?
Any how's all I was emphasizing on was the fact everyone fails at certain times.
Because he isn't normally glad people fail. He was glad she failed at suicide.
Please never delete this. I have never heard anyone address problems with self-love and your words about it resonated with me. Right now I’m not at a low, but I’m hoping I can come back and watch this for the reminder to take care of myself so I am able to turn and take care of others.
"I think what's sadder to me than actually trying to take your own life, is the morning after.... because I've never cursed a sunrise quite like one that I didn't want to see."
Oh my gosh I have never FELT a sentence in my life as deeply as that one right there.
I absolutely felt this so much too.
I agree😢
How are you doing now Sara?
“If you already feel like a burden, you’re not going to call somebody”. So true. We all need to believe (however hard it may be to think like this) that people care. People love us. The burden of our problems is a much lighter load for people we care about than the burden of us not being around anymore.
She is such beautiful and talented girl and it's a shame she's had such difficult time with success or it exacerbated it. I would have loved to look like her in high school but not with those problems. And her voice.
I have always rooted for her.
“I just wanted to remove the problem and the problem was me” I don’t think I’ve ever related to something so much in my life. I love you 💙
I'm so so sorry you relate :(
This is exactly my problem!! Iv tried so many times but each one failed!
@@Felicity-T I've been there. I hope you never feel the need to end your life again. We're in this together❤
I have no idea if this helps but I am certain *EVERYONE* has people that love them, people that need you to be around - whatever your issues are. So, even if you can't see your inner beauty, dozens of other people can and we need you. We might not be able to name it, describe it, know that it is there, but it matters, you matter, you are important.
@@Neilhuny I'm sorry, but............
blah blah blah
23:47 - 24:44 - "We would never accept somebody coming into our lives and talking to us the way we talk to ourselves in our heads, so we should never do it to ourselves." Amen
Truth hurts no matter where from.
"I've never cursed a sunrise quite like one that I didn't want to see"
If this isn't already a lyric then it needs to be. Thank you for staying with us xx thinking of you 💓
12 years old I tried taking my life, was abused by a 19 year old family friend, that lived was us, and did not want to tell anyone feeling like a burden. I never let it out, and I just looked at everyone from inside my body, feeling trapped wondering why do I feel so invisible. Anyways, so one day after I decided enough was enough, that I was putting an end to the abuse, by ending myself... I took all my sisters psych meds from when she had previous episodes, opened the cabinet and started taking handful of pills from various bottles. Off I went to my room, crying alone my mother had left, with my stepdad and sisters so it was quiet in the house. I started feeling really strange, heart-beating so fast, and terror struck I am dying and I cannot tell anyone... We had no working phone and everyone was now gone. So turned on the shower got in clothes on and all, sat and prayed I would get through this.... Noticed my speech was now almost gone, could not talk jaw was locked and started to move one way and the upper jaw the opposite way grinding my teeth and jaw hard. I sat there, and heard the doors to the car slam so I got out of the shower, dressed and dried my hair went to go just be around my family.... So here I was, they were getting ready to leave for church, and no one noticed anything strange at all... I was normally quiet they were busy, and they looked back at me and said we are going to church you coming? Yes I was, so I hopped in the car sat in the back staring out the window and off we went. Arrived to church and was feeling, faint, sweating, and my jaw still locked so anxious, anxiety filled thought everyone was staring at me noticing me paranoia..... So I left the sermon and walked out to sit alone in the hallway where a man approached me asked me how i was doing... He introduced himself and asked my name, but I could not talk so I mumbled sorry my mouth is hurting, and so can't really talk...Politely he said oh okay nice meeting you Michelle, smiled and he went on his way... So there I sat until the drugs wore down, took hours and hours, lingering days... Anyways I made it, and my mother still does not even know about the horror I lived through, back in those days taht brought all the issues, and problems along with me throughout all my life... It is okay though, now I know and realize I can do better, and be better with just opening up and allowing others into help me, ,deal with the past and I am grateful that I can do that...
I just lost two friends, to suicide both were male and still very young, and both were very much respected in the community. One friend I talked to an hour before he hung himself under the bridge chatted on messenger... He was also here the day before talking about how he just sold his old house, and had to do some prep work before they come over, and he bought a brand new house... . He was a boilermaker, a father of two little girls, one only 6 months old, but he had hidden secrets, demons I guess you could say.... LOL the last words he said to me was I have to go I have to take a sh*t, and went home walking out the door waving goodbye... It was the next day he was cleaning out his house that sold, and he was drinking with his buddy doing work... When he just walked away from his buddy grabbed a strap from the trunk of his car, and he walked across the street killed himself under the bridge... One of the saddest things I was listening to scanner, and heard the entire thing not knowing it was him at all trying, they were trying to revive . He was 32-33 young, months later another 42 year old male friend they found him, hanging in the closet and a month before his ex-gf committed suicide taking her life, they left behind a 14 year old only child little boy.
Days are all coming colliding together, and after losing over 12 friends in the last five years... Young all my age to overdoses, or suicide, car accident, well it has made me such a stronger person in coping with reality. I overthink everything, and especially the days I sit and I question if I could have noticed a slight change.. A change in the suicidal friends, could I have saved their life, but now I do know cannot change the past, and these things sometimes happen....It is hard to explain, the trial and tribulations, one has to endure and some go through every day.... It is every ounce of feeling, triggering you some days, from the smallest little mishaps even... questioning ourselves until our brains bleed with remorse, and guilt.... If I did not become a mother, and I really know I would not be here today.... Yea sadly I truly believe that, from the day being told you will never have kids, to having my 2 boys.... After the odds were not in my favor, life sucked thinking, that I could never live a life like others, with the gift of having children..... So life was not becoming about me anymore, and I woke up that day after my 12 year old son was born and thought, wow this is life changing I never felt this kind of love, and wanting to protect anyone so much in my entire life like I do today. A day never goes by, that I am not so grateful to have them here with me, no matter what I do the simple feeling I get looking at them sleep, or catching them being goofy, is the reason I continue to fight for our lives !!!!! I will not give up, and I will fight for anyone I see could possibly be giving out clues too, maybe hiding and putting on a happy face to make others feel comfortable... It is you I will fight for you too, reaching out even if it is just a listening ear just to see if you are okay, and maybe that one act could save more lives. Life really is grand, you just have to look in the right places, and work out the kinks that keep pulling at your brain, whispering painful reminders of your dark past, and sometimes present thoughts, your brain triggers them every now and then it is how you handle them that is the life changer..... So yes it is work and sometimes a lot of it, but you are worth it, and that is never going to be untrue no matter how much you think otherwise. take care everyone
“I’ve never cursed a sunrise quite like one that I didn’t want to see.” This is so accurate coming from someone who has a long history of suicidal ideation. People assume when a person fails a suicide attempt they feel happy afterwards that they’re still alive. But for me it was just one more thing I failed at and would lead me to feeling even lower than I thought possible.
Another thing I failed at. Ditto. 😭
I am glad you failed ! I wish you strength.
A Peruvian shaman once told me, "A lot of Westerners are possessed and don't even know it." A lot of us certainly seem to be doing silent internal battle with what you might call our demons -- automatic negative self-talk. Being aware of this and deliberately framing things differently is the only way to stop the "demons" winning. "Failing" at suicide, for example, could be viewed as them not getting their way, and giving ourselves a chance to let other voices be heard... such as the still, quiet voice we have buried deep within us that knows who we are and knows how to be all right.
hey janet. idk how many other guys watched this video (let alone guys who related) but i just stumbled across this video cause my youtube fu page is all over the place cause life is hell right now.
but thank you for this. honestly from the bottom of my heart.
i never feel like i can (like i don't have the right) cry anymore but this video reminded me that it's okay to not be invincible now and then and remember to thank the small things. like the sun rising.
i'm sorry to a lot of people for what i almost put them through but i am happier and while i am not and never will be unbreakable,
i am stronger and growing. thank you for the reminder of life.
your a good one (from what i see) and i thank you for it.
and i wish you and yours well. thank you. and i pray you have many more sun rises to thank cause it's good to have more eyes to see
it.
"Times can be really hard but they get better"
That's the most powerful thing I can remind myself of when I need to
Not for me
I understand the good intention behind this phrase, but I really don't like it when people say this. It makes me feel worse because it's meaningless - no one knows if things will get better, no one has a crystal ball and sometimes believe it or not, things don't get better for some people. Saying this can just lead to more disappointment down the line if it doesn't happen.
I would prefer if people said something still uplifting but also realistic, such as "as long as you're alive there's a chance you can find happiness and a chance is better than nothing" or "you'll never know if things will get better if you don't try".
"when you don't look after yourself you indirectly hurt those around you because if you don't respect yourself you can't respect the other people in your life" Powerful!!
Totally fuckin irrevelant...you have obviously never been there....
After all you've been through, if "livin' just insn't for everybody" but "what's for you, won't go past you" makes me think there's a reason those opiates didn't do their job that time, I dunno what's looking out for you but damn am I glad you're still here! 💙
These guardian angels are on overtime here 😂
Don't particularly like this line of reasoning.
Were those other people too unvaluable to be made to fail in their attempts?
Sorry but it basically comes down to that. That is the premise in your comment.
Sometimes suicide/death survivors/their family have ideas that there was some sort of divine intervention to save them, but that is an illusion. Had those other, sadly "sucessful" people not succeeded, many of them would have the same impression.
But it's just that, mathematical probability.
This rhetoric doesnt actively hurt those dead people, but it is a rather toxic mindset, and the same thinking pattern may or may not replicate itself into other areas of life.
My husband has had severe depression with suicidal ideation and multiple attempts for the 30+ yrs we’ve been together. I have always said “Depression is like a cancer on the soul.” I hope you stay in your “remission” and keep finding your tomorrow’s ❤️
I remember when you appeared on X Factor. You were so shy and sweet and talented. It wasn't obvious that life was kicking you around so much that you came to despise yourself. I am so glad that you fought your demons.......because it is wonderful to see that you're (still) in the world.
“I used to believe life wasn’t for me” that’s exactly how I feel now, I’m struggling so much to not take my own life
Amber, Life is for you, God has given it to you, He knows you. Jesus is the Way the Truth and the Life and he tells all people that are weary and heavy laden to come to Him and He will give you rest. Spend time praying to God through Jesus, talk to Him. You are so loved that Jesus gave His life for you but rose again from the dead and is there for you to come to Him. Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you.
Hello Amber, I'm sorry your hurting, we don't know each other, who knows where in the world you are from me. But I do know that feeling, I struggled with it for many decades when I lived a 'suicidal lifestyle'. The one thing I do know, that stopped me from taking my own life, is this... our soul is immortal, there is another side. This world we see, the one we 'live' in is not the only one. And taking our lives will not take the pain away, we will find ourselves still alive, on the other side wishing that we had not done so. I don't know what your struggle is, but please don't do it. Will keep you in my prayers.
@daarpe17 Gen X
Hey Amber, sorry to hear your feeling that way. I hope to encourage you to reach out for help. The most uncomfortable part was the first phone call ,scheduling a meeting, and showing up.ok it's all hard and awkward. BTW, I found out my anxiety is really more, I am bi- polar, knowing this I asked for help from my GP Dr.. Meds and a mental health specialist put me on a path to not feel bad about myself.
Don't know what to say except I'm glad you're still around and making other people's lives so much brighter by sharing your music and talent with the world and please continue to do. 💖💖
Thank you Paddy 🥺💓
@@janetdevlin some here im Glad you re sill around. To
Oh, Janet what a dark and painful journey you've experienced...you poor love. My heart feels your suffering and I praise and thank God you are still with us....I truly hope and pray for your recovery. You have so much love to give and receive through your music and...through just being beautiful you ❤
God Bless...x
Well one thing u can say is that she has a brave soul to talk about this on social media. This video could help more people that have this problem too
@@janetdevlin I'm glad ur still around singing cuz ur singing is magnificent
Im in a really dark place right now, I've been suicidal since I was 13,I'm nearly 20 and I've lost count as all my attempts have blurred.
I just feel like living isn't right for me but I'm taking this as a sign to hang about another day or so
Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability ❤️
life is beautiful, you will get through this. Sending you all the love and hugs
Please reach out and talk, it's so important. I've been there myself and i know how it feels to be in crisis. If you ever need to talk, pls msg me.
Keep strong 💪
As Janet said in the end of this video...there are so many resources to reach out for help during these times, and if feelings of guilt/burdensome arise, understand that when we are existing in a state where we feel we need a little more guidance to get "out" of it, there are people on the other end of those lines whose sole purpose is to assist us during those times. It doesn't have to get to a darker place to be accepted on the other end of the call/chat/message. ❤ Thank YOU for your honesty & vulnerability.
Being sensitive to life can be a gift as well as a burden. Sending you the love from Australia. If you ever need someone to listen, just call x
You are an inspiration, Janet… I can say as a psychotherapist, but these things are not easy to talk about, and you doing this in the way you have done, it gives people permission and courage to do so. I hope people reach out and I’m glad that you got the help that you needed and hope that you’ll always reach out for help in the future. ❤
I think your sense of humour/ability to laugh/ to see the hope in a hopeless situation is what saved your life. You’re amazing, and there is no better therapy than for people in a similar situation to listen to you. You’re helping thousands of people, and that’s a gift. The world would have a huge void if you had succeeded. Thank you for staying 💛
You are a beautiful Soul, Janet.
There are innumerable Souls that love you... besides your family & friends.
Remember, you are loved.
Majestically.
🙏🏼🌼🌷🕊️🎶❤️⭐💎🌿
My Soul... loves your Soul, Janet.
All our Souls here...
Simply love & prize your heartwarming Soul.
🙏🏼💖🐦🌿🕊️🎷🌺
I’ve never cursed a sunrise like the ones I didn’t want to see
Wow, that statement, incredible insight of such a emotionally complex experience
I hope she stays strong. She is a very special gift to this world. Very special.
This is such a beautiful, brilliant, needed video. Unfortunately I find it incredibly relatable as I struggle a lot. But this helped, maybe it's only for the moment, but it did. Thankyou for opening up the conversation, and I really hope this is helping people, and I hope everyone is doing as well as they can, and are reaching out if they need too.
watching and listening to you feels like a mirror, i never find personalities on YT i can relate to you like you. You inspire me so much, I’m so proud of you. I hope the people around you at this point in your life treat you as you deserve. Love, a longtime fan!
Just always remember that there are a lot of us out here that love you, and appreciate you, and want you to continue to be a part of our lives. 🤟❤
🥺💓
You are so right ! I wish Janet and everyone out there all he best! After the dark night there is a brighter day.
I hope you got to the point or will get to the point where it is not us for whom you would like to see the next morning.
You might talk about that in the video, I was just not in the mood today to watch this video with this topic from you. ( btw just received you DVD we will listen to it with my wife and my daughter :) )
Sad thing is any of us going through this type of thing know there's alot of people who love and care for us which only adds to the inner guilt internally as we still feel a hindrance to others for being how we are. If you're in a position where you hate yourself then its extremely difficult to appreciate how others feel about you that love you. Everyday is a battle and sadly some of us lose the battle. I relate so much to this girls experience. Am in same boat
Thank you for opening up about this. I'm pretty open about my mental health and attempts, but I've never talked about dissociation because I feel people wouldn't understand. Seeing you talk about it makes me feel a bit less alone.
I guess everything happens for a reason... I just saw your video about alcoholism and this was next on suggestions. I am 38 years old and have been struggling with bipolar depression, anxiety, PTSD, and dissociative disorder my entire life. I have never heard someone explain their experiences in such a relatable way. Thank you for being brave enough to share your experiences with the world. I sincerely hope that those who are feeling alone right now will be able to find familiarity, comfort, and solace in your words and be able to pull through the darkness that surrounds them.
I can not say how powerful your messages are. Well done for being so open. This will have saved people.
My 15-yr old daughter is going thru severe depression and coincidentally she loves singing and performing and oddly seems to pull it all together onstage while life seems to be falling apart on a daily basis at home. I'm so glad to hear how you got thru all this, and thank you for your candor; it's inspiring. I know it's really hard for people suffering thru depression, but it's also really hard for parents. I can't believe sometimes that she can't see how great she is... I am so happy you were a failure at suicide. The problem was NOT you. You champion life, and inspire so many. Keep on being you; it's the most beautiful thing in the world.
I'll bet there was a lot of crying when your friends and family seen this video.
Very Very brave of you to do this. You've probably saved countless people and this video will continue to save people.
Your honesty and courage in sharing this is so incredibly beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing and I’m so glad you’re finding love for your own life. I think there’s something about sharing these stories that also helps to heal the deep sources of the pain. You learn these deep lessons and there’s something of really basic value to letting your learnings flow out into the matrix of the world to help others. Much love to you - and also to me and to all of us who’ve had to struggle to find a home in ourselves.
This made me want to give you the biggest hug! I've been there, and know how hard it is to overcome. You're amazing x
I’m terribly sorry to hear that you’ve been experiencing these issues 😰😔. You’re such a brilliantly, talented young individual. I’ve been admirer of your work for years, nearly a decade. I really hope that you are able to get through this difficult time and find light on the other side. Sending you positive and warm thoughts ☺️☺️☺️
Finding these really interesting to follow, echo's a lot of feelings I have burried down deep. Thank you for sharing, awkward laughter, smiles, tears and all.
You are an absolute inspiration. I cant believe its taken until March 2022 for me to find this. Each word you speak is as real as its gets! I have been down the same road. Is it wrong to say I'm glad someone else has experienced this as well? So now I know - there is another person that has experienced what I have. Thank you!
The fact that you recorded this in one take is not only impressive, but made every word so impactful and personal, your eye contact and clear heartfelt honesty is what makes me admire & respect you so much. Sending huge love from a fellow NI person.
Oh and - love the new album, really well done
I totally get this. In the struggle to find the true version of yourself, you take a journey of pain and suffering. But to be your best, sometimes you need to be your worst first. Good on you for being so open and allowing others to show it gets better though!
You absolute legend, for getting through it and sharing the feelings here. your words ring true in so many ways.
Also your tattoos are super cool :)
I, for one, am extremely grateful you are still here. You have lightened up my life so much. I watch your "you are my sunshine" with my 5-year-old daughter multiple times a week, I know you have lightened her life as well. Sending you much love from South Africa! Lived through my wife going through rehab twice, and I am so proud of people who can fight through the darkest times. ❤️
I'm glad I got to listen to this. So much of it resonates, the dissociation, not consciously wanting to die but being willing to risk it for peace and rest, Glad you posted this.
I remember seeing your audition on xfactor when it aired. I remember playing it on the pc for my mom and brother to hear it. We where so impressed and loved it. Sorry to hear you're having this troubles in life. Hope life will treat you better in the future. I still watch your audition once in a while. Its beautiful. Greetings from the Netherlands.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Janet, i remember watching you on x-factor and falling for your voice. I often watch your TH-cam vids of you singing and occasionally watch your other vids. I've been touched by your voice and now feel more so touched by your words and our common thoughts.
You sharing means more to me than i could ever express.
I have and still feel like you do. Knowing I'm not alone in these crazy thoughts is one thing. Hearing you express my thoughts with your voice.... Thank you!
Please, please please continue to be who you are!
Much love to you!
P.s. Your x-factor audition still gives me goosebumps.
I've just discovered your music and now this video witch i can totally relate to. Thank you for being so strong and saying things that i'll probably will never say to anyone, even my therapist. Stay safe !
Thanks for sharing, Janet. If you are able to help even one person with your story, then it's all been worth living for. I cope with my depression with humour as well, and it's what I turn to when people try getting past my wall. I guess I'm lucky that I've never turned to alcohol or drugs, and my phase of thinking of suicide was just thoughts. Over the years, I've come to realize that in many areas, I know I'm not alone like I once thought, and it's good to hear people are opening up and talking about these issues more frequently, even if I can't do so myself. That said, there are still aspects of my life that I've never heard anyone else talk about, so feelings of loneliness in that regard are definitely still present. Sorry for rambling. I admit, the self harm was the biggest trigger for me, and was the hardest to get through in the book, but I'm so glad you were able to let go of those demons. Lobe you!
Thank you for sharing such raw experience. It is greatly appreciated. You are so not alone
I am so, so happy you're doing better. I'm obsessed with you and your music, I listen your album almost every day since I found out about it and can't wait to hear more from you in the future. Your tiktoks make my day and you're such a beautiful human being. You're so relatable, inspirational and funny and just seem like a wonderful person 💕💕
OMG Janet, it breaks my heart to hear that someone so young, so talented, so beautiful would want to take their own life. Stay strong, stay sober, seek help when you need it, surround yourself with people that love you and stay alive !
This brings a tear to my eye, and I'm really not an emotional man. I've followed you from the very, very beginning. I've enjoyed your music. Your'Santa Baby' is one of my classic Christmas songs. I hate this plague of drug use. I liked Prince and Michael Jackson - dead. I loved Whitney Houston - gone.
I'm glad you're talking about it and I know an artist's emotions have wider swings than most others. The only thing I can say is, some of us can't take another death-by-drugs. Please remember that many of us don't have a lot of joyous moments. For me, your songs are a respite from disappointment and sometimes tragedy. I don't know what else to say.
This hit hard...Stay strong everybody!
I appreciate your honesty and the fact that you share your most vulnerable moments with us. You are so beautiful inside and out and I'll be praying for you and everyone dealing with these issues. Much love always ❤️
Your voice is such a goddamn gift. You as a person are a gift. Thank you.
I was just re-watching your amazing debut performance and then checking in on what you've been doing since. Really shocked and saddened to hear of your struggles. I pray you find the peace and tranquility you deserve. 🙏
I related on too many levels, especially the planning out the suicide note as part of daily life. I am now going to school to become a therapist with focus on teenagers because that was a resource I was not afforded until it was almost too late. A phrase that haunted me for years was "You never know failure like failing to end your own life." Like you, I am now so incredibly glad I had failed, life is so beautiful now (within reason, I am from the USA). I am so sorry that you have experienced this, but I am so happy that you have survived because you are a positive light on this world.
Thank you for opening up and sharing with us. So many of us constantly have the same feeling and struggles to deal with. Life is super hard! But it also is to precious to give up on! Everyone hang in there! Live your life for yourself first and foremost! You are need on this planet!
I just came across your music and was amazed, but also blown away some of the things you've dealt with. You are an amazing person and is on this earth for a reason. Also, hearing you say that you felt like you were bringing people down makes me realize that we should be very careful of what we say to the people we love and love us back. If we say harsh words to someone quietly looking for help, we can be unknowingly pushing the person in the wrong direction. Again, your music is amazing, but this video was eye opening and thank you for opening up.
Real and raw! Much love to you Janet! I'm still glad your here! ❤
Janet, this is the most honest and moving video I’ve seen, it takes enormous courage to share your very personal experiences of your worst times. You are an inspiration and a warrior to shine attention on this very frightening illness. Keep on doing what your doing and remember to love yourself first x
❤️ I feel this so much. Thank you for being brave enough to put this out there.
I love hearing peoples stories, changes things within others and in the world. Thank you deeply for that. One really good quote i like is;
"There isn't anyone you couldn't learn to love once you've heard their story," so keep on telling your story.
Its heartbreaking to see how low you have been in the past Janet. I can relate to this so much as I did the same as you when I was younger. Had all the same feelings you so eloquently described.
I am in a much better place now and as you say....there is so much to live for. You are an inspiration, just remember you are and always will be loved and bring so many people joy with your beautiful nature and angelic voice.
Sending Love 💘 💕 💗 Xx
As someone who has tried to kill themselves multiple times and also dissociates, thank you for making this video and telling your story!
I'm also in a better place now thankfully, but it was a lot of hard work to get here.
Bless you Hannah!
Thankyou for sharing and for being here because you and your music are both amazing 💜
So upsetting how relatable your story is to myself and so many others 😓
I’m glad you’re still here. I’m from N.Ireland and I just adore you. Thank you for sharing. ❤️ And I hope you’re doing better, my love xx
Jesus, wasn't paying attention when I clicked and that caught me off guard, thought this would be about failed attempts at songs or something. As someone that has never been through that sort of thing I really can't wrap my ahead around it, I think the world needs survivors like you to do exactly what you've done, talk about it, try and normalise the topic so others will hopefully reach out for help.
It's very brave of you to share this, so thanks for the amazing vid Janet, not so much for making me cry though :P
Oh Janet 😔 I'm not all up to date with all the stuff you've been through,but you've always come across as such a kind and sweet soul. And I'm just happy to see you feeling better and getting in a better position in life.
But it's still hard to hear these things from someone who's intrigued me for so long,just wishing I could give you a big old hug 💛
I felt EVERY word you said in my soul. i watched every minute till the end. thank you for sharing your story, all the darks times I had feels a little brighter knowing that I was never alone on this and we all deserve a chance to try our best to live because we can fail as many times as we need and its okay
Thank you Janet for sharing this with us. I have a kid who is struggling himself, but cannot talk about it or reach out for help himself. As a parent it is hard to understand what is going on and your honest description of what was going on in your head means a lot to me, giving me a glimpse of understanding what is happening. You are a truly amazing human being and I have been a fan from the start. Keep making music, it means so much to a lot more people than you think.
i salute your recovery , your honesty and your courage .......keep carrying the message .......from someone who is 35 years sober ......it keeps getting better and better !!!!!!!!!!!!
This will resonate with some many, i like me now building on the love myself part. But hearing you say I'm my own best friend im stuck with me made something click in my head. I'd move heaven & earth for my best friend so I can do it for me!! Thank you for your music it hits where it needs to. Keeping loving you 😘
Everything you talk about gives me flashbacks. Depression and suicidal thoughts at a young age, almost taking my life in high school, and tendencies to cope through alcohol. I often thought I had no plan for my life or expected to just die young or hope to die suddenly. To this day I still have those thoughts but I know they are born of a small moment and the moment will pass. The fact that you are so open about this is a huge step and like you said, sometimes you just need to get it off your chest. Finding healthy coping mechanisms and good people to talk with has made a huge difference in my life. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for your honesty and openness, and for the courage you show in sharing your story with the world. Thank you particularly for your music. You have such a distinctive, expressive voice. I think the intensity of the emotions you feel is part of your unique musical gift.
Dear Janet. I cried watching this video. I have loved your music for some time now but never imagined that someone as talented as you had feet of clay. Thank you for sharing yourself. Thank you for being human. Thank you for holding up a mirror to me. Be well, woman. You are loved. xo
Thank you for working on yourself. Thank you for being here and thank you for what you've achieved x
Thanks so much for caring Garry! 🥺💓
Thank you so much for sharing your story! It’s so important to normalise this because so many people are dealing with this kind of feelings (including me a few years ago). And people need to know reaching out and seek help is o.k.
I’m glad you failed in your attempts and because the world is a brighter place with you in it 💕. I cried with you, because I feel you, life is beautiful but sometimes there is a dark cloud blurring to see it.
I think that your openness and honesty is so very beautiful and inspiring. I feel in my heart that you are an amazing person!
"If you already feel like a burden you are not going to call someone" the catch 22 of self loathing. I've been there. A powerful video, intelligent, insightful, funny too....needs to be shared. Janet, you may not see this comment, but even if we don't love ourselves know that we are always loved. From a fellow compatriot, that cross you wear tells of a love far greater than any love we could kindle for ourselves, and it speaks of pain that carries our pain away. I do remember your fantastic voice from X factor, but haven't followed you since.....today I'm listening to some wonderful music, thanks to this video and your talent, thank you. live.
Janet, this is so profound and deeply moving...thank you for having the courage to share your story. I hope you know that you have a beautiful spirit and the world would be dimmer without you! I'm glad you're still here
You are so beautiful, i loved you ever since i saw you audition on the show, and i always comes back to it when i wanna feel inspired about life.
I'm 45 year old in November and i still haven't figure what is life means to me as i went some pretty sheety stuff and came out fine, but still with a sense of unworthy.
i'm proud of you sharing yourself like this, i hope life will be better for you more and more. you inspire me so much!
Wow. This was just amazing; it really got me thinking. You’re such a brave and beautiful person inside and out; I’m glad you pulled through and strive through. 💕🥺
Amazing generosity to share this with the world. Voice of an angel. Gifted with multiple talents to sensitively and honestly express that which is so intangible and difficult for others to verbalise or convey. Thank you. 💛
I remember seeing that frightened person on X-Factor that blew everyone away with your amazing talent, this video really touched me. You are someone with such a beautiful heart and soul, it's difficult to see how hard things have been for you, dealing with the turmoil of such negative feelings, and it makes me so happy to see that you're now on the other side. It's so brave of you to do this and open your heart, this video will help a lot of people that can relate.
Thank you for sharing janet, you are not only one feeling like this. I hope things get better and i hope we can continue to hear your amazing voice and music
You're a beautiful person Janet and I love the music you put out into the world. Thank you for your honesty with us as well as with yourself.
Thank you for this video. You are amazing. It takes courage to reveal something this personal. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing that, there are so many of us out there that feel this way, and it is sort of helpful to know that we are not alone.
Good for you for being open and honest! Thank you for sharing and using your platform to educate people about alcoholism and depression. Kudos to you.
Thanks for being so open and honest, I am glad you're still here and hope all the best for you.
I'm really glad you appreciate life now and have learned to be proud of the person you've evolved into. Because all of us here following and supporting you are amazed by your courage and strength, not to mention your humility and incredible talent. You touch so many lives by sharing your story and your music. God bless you and keep you safe.🙏
This mean a lot, thanks so much John 💓🙏🏻
I didn’t know who you are before tonight. I’m still not sure I understand where your fame came from but your singing is awesome. Hearing your story means a lot to me as someone who has struggled with self harming in the past who still struggles with severe bouts of depression. I wasn’t expecting to have this moment tonight when I found your cover of Zombie (one of my favorites). I’m glad I could experience this and have this moment. Thanks for being here to share this and give me that moment with you. I like your music and I like you too!
So proud of you bringing up such a sensitive topic ! Thank you 🙏🏻
Thank you for sharing such a personal story. Keeping you and all suffering in my prayers.
Much love to you for being able to share this. I love you for your honesty. It took a lot to open up. Many can't and need that push to move forward. God bless you for sharing. It will help many
Thanks so much Paul! 💓
Strong words and truthful words
There are times I wish I could just reach out to people and talk to them, let them know they are not alone in these thoughts. I have lived with insomnia, depression and suicidal thoughts for the last 32 years. These are deep embedded mental ailments that need to been investigated. Thank you for Sharing and getting it out there.
I am so glad you are still there ! You are such a beautiful person, and I'm not (only) talking about your physical appearance. I got both your albums recently and they really touched my soul.
Wow!
You're telling it all so clearly and openly.
You're such an angel for other people.
I volunteer at an helpline and it's very common to get a person in these situations on the line.
PS, love your Irish accent
If you disassociate it tends to mean you've been through some kind of trauma - whether it's a big one or lots of little stressful events and normally during childhood. As an adult, you then continue to cope with stress through dissociation. It sounds like you may have been through trauma/stress that you haven't given yourself the time to heal from yet whether you're aware of it or not.
“Joy is a decision”. I love your music and I wish you all the happiness. The quote is from a Buddhist teacher: I was in a similar mindset, totally depressed and I even had self destructive thoughts. And one day I decided to leave them behind, using meditation as my tool. I am now pretty joyful. And it was really down to one single decision: I said to myself that I am not going to get into these thoughts anymore. And when they start creeping in, I just say I have no time for this nonsense, thank you very much. So from my own experience, I can say confidently that suicidal thought is just an uncontrolled, trapped thought that can be dealt with. Nothing more. You can simply decide not to get into them. I hope it helps. Anyway, Let me know if you need a chat.
So brave and raw. Thank you Janet as I think you speak for so many who can't speak or won't speak for whatever reason. You are such an inspiration and your being your authentic self is your best self at any time.
Oh Janet I had tears in my eyes right along with you. Some people have a way of touching your heart ...When there are those who just want to share their story in such an open and honest way it is really refreshing to the soul and it makes you reflect on your own life and think of your friends and loved ones. This represents the finer side of social media. I cannot hug you in person so I am sending the biggest telepathic one that I can. Not only are you a talented star but you're such a real human being with all the trials and obstacles in life so many of us try to deal with.... and thank goodness you hit them square in the face and bounced right back. I cannot imagine some of the dark times you have been through... but thank God you're here. I hope you never have to walk that knife edge again ... coming back from that must have seemed like climbing out of a black pit up an unending mountain strewn with the biggest boulders. Continue to be the annoying optimist!! But hey you could never be annoying .... I am so happy I can laugh along with you and your spirit these days...but I will never forget what it took you to get there. Much love