David, you are so right on about how Robyn handles Kody. "Kody speak" is protecting his ego. To add more, I think that is why Kody is so besotted with her and gives her such high praise. She is a steady stream of narcissistic supply.
Absolutely, she soft-pedals everything she says and allows him to believe whatever he wants to. They are not connecting at all, it is one sided. She married her dad!!
The only way that I buy Robyn's woe-is-me story about her bio father, is if her mother instilled it in her. From all accounts, Robyn had a tremendous relationship with her stepfather--to the point of him being invited into the splash-zone of her birthing bed. Also, if she were so traumatized, she should not have taken her kids from their father.
Some of the kids have said that Meri was abusive to them growing up, which is why they do not interact with her. Christine and Janelle have also expressed they were treated badly by Meri. A couple of times, Janelle even left the family due to how Meri treated her.
Janelle said she left the family twice because Kody was trying to make her move and she didn’t WANT to move. So she stayed behind. The KIDS went with Kody!
He has chosen to scapegoat Christine leaving as the beginning of the end. Additionally, I do think she is the most fun of all the wives and he has realized too late what her leaving meant.
I grew up in a house where the silent treatment was incredibly common. The person doing it thinks it’s like a punishment. Thankfully that’s not what my husband experienced, so I’ve learned better ways to communicate in my adult relationships. That being said, there are times when I’m angry or upset and need the quiet or music (while cleaning of course 😂) and need to process. I’ll gather my thoughts and a pan for having a constructive conversation and can then go talk about it. My silence isn’t malicious, nor long-term. It gives me the space for the work I have to do to unlearn the toxic communication that I grew up with. I really do feel there’s a difference between this and the silent treatment.
Alison relax… most women clean/ do a chore like rhino when they are mad, it’s normal to get frustration out that way and not say something you have to take back. It didn’t make you look bad or misrepresented. I enjoyed the honesty.
True… it’s a good coping mechanism. I don’t necessarily do it when I’m mad but I absolutely do it when I’m stressed and just need to find some type of soothing that makes me feel in order… cleaning does it for 😉.
Allison believing Robyn didn’t want to buy the McMansion, blows my mind. Robyn is such a good manipulator, she is able to do it, even through the tv screen. I do agree with her views, most of the time, though! Janelle should totally be a close friend.
Because he was always jealous of her. She was bright and bubbly.. her dad loved her so much.. by birth she was valued in the religion he wanted to ne big in Christine annoys some but we can see that she was honest and kind with an optimism about life For a narc like kody damaging and reducing Christine made him feel better about herself. Its pretty classic Do he us completely enraged because she stood up to him.
I think Gabe meant they didn't mistreat them bc Kody wouldn't allow for it, which the kids probably took as an expression of favoritism. Whereas all the og kids were rough with each other physically and verbally(and no one seemed to care), they were probably made to treat Robyn's kids differently. I'm thinking of Maddie saying they expect the og kids to make all the changes to accommodate them, but they have to change some, too.
This is exactly the dynamic. Robyn is actually more gentle and meek than the other wives. She didn’t want her children to be treated roughly, so her kids were treated differently. This separated them from the other kids unintentionally. Robin is protective so she didn’t want Christine to mother her kids. This further separated her kids from the og clan.
That was fabulous. You two are not on a reality show but in a sense you are a little bit. The way you interact is not only adorable, it's real. You say what's on your mind, you squabble and fight for control of the mouse. I feel you show us the real you. I think that's why I look forward to your reaction videos after watching a new episode. It's because you both are more entertaining and endearing than Kody interacting with any of his wives. I would rather have more of you two on my screen but this replay of your live stream was just right 👍. Thank you for sharing your time with us guys. ❤
Not sure you will see this, but I was married to an alcoholic narcissist. Silent treatment could go for a good week or so. After some marriage counseling, I took the approach of saying, "this is how I feel when you do or say something negative , mean or nasty to me". His comeback was , "see, it's always about you." Needless to say, 10 years to stay in this relationship was enough.
Mine said, no I didn’t or if I express my feelings…no! Negates how I feel. It’s shocking. So I cannot have a feeling or a reaction to his gaslighting. I’m wrong, he only knows how I’m supposed to feel🥴
Mine would just gloss over it like nothing ever happened. So I was left wondering what the fuck happened, which just lead to me blaming myself more. Which is exactly what they wanted
What bothers me the most about Robyn is her inconsistency. For example, she talks about how she knows how difficulty divorce is and how you never speak ill about the other parent, yet she forced her three oldest kids' Dad to forego parental rights and created a narrative that he was a bad father when on the show her bio kids clearly had a relationship with him. Forcing her kids to refer to Kody as dad nearly the minute they were married. Stating that she wanted the family and the relationships with the sisterwives yet consistently isolating herself, using her influence on Kody to fundamentally change the culture of the family and NOT looking out for what was in the best interest of the other moms. No one is perfect and all these things would be much easier to understand if she own it rather than deny what is painful evident on what we've seen the show. It's the inconsistency and the lack of being able to own her choices and be truthful.
Robyn came into the family and demand the teenager to sign rules she want for the kids because she want her kids to stay in their religion. Maddie said NO! I don’t want to sign and Robyn’s face tells it all. She went frustratingly angry that she couldn’t demand the kids to do as she want. So Robyn distanced herself and her kids from the family kids because she doesn’t want her kids to have it their own way just her way
Yes! I could not believe how she reacted to KIDS! Told me a lot about her. She is a control freak and I feel sorry for her kids. I’d read or listen to her OG kids later if they tell all. Between the religion and her passive/aggressive narc controlling mothering has got to be wild!
Robyn got all angry because a teen (remembet how she said the prefrontal cortex is not developed in young people) did not want to commit herself to a future in polygamy. Robyn is a cancer on the Browns.
I offered the placenta of my first born to a 45 year midwife who had always been too scared to ask her patients… for her passion fruit plant! That’s it, I draw the line at planting it in the garden 😂
Someone shared an email reaching out to Kühl to find out when the jacket Kody’s was wearing when K and R were talking outside in the snow in the oddly shoveled patch of the driveway. The jacket wasn’t released until summer 2023 so that conversation was filmed after Garrison’s passing. This show is getting so out of control with the ridiculous timeline and dealing with Garrison, Christine and David, etc.
@sherrydiddle Yeah, so they couldn't have filmed the "argument" scene in 2022 like the show claimed everything was filmed. Just because the earliest the jacket was available was summer 2023, doesn't mean they filmed the aforementioned scene in 2023.
I've noticed that when Kody gets into an argument with one of the kids, the kids are talking about their relationship with Kody. When Kody feels cornered or called out, he brings Robyn’s name into the argument to distract the conversation and hides behind her. Kody looks like the relationship coward to me.
Kody said he will not argue with Robyn if the subject is his taking some accountability as a father concerning his 12 kids. He says that will weaken his relationship with Robyn. Why does it have to cause problems with his wife? He is terrified to lose Robyn? If the money goes, she may walk.
I think Kody's anger about Christine leaving is all about his ego because she was polygamy royalty. She was the prophet's granddaughter. Even in his conversation with the church leaders over Mary's release, he was demanding that they never give Christine a release. Which in that religion ties her to him for all eternity. Even Kody said "it's all about the ego baby."
I honestly think it was simply the fact that SHE left him. And took her financial with her. She packed up his shit and and said she was done. His ego can't handle the fact that he was not in control AT ALL. She will live in his head rent free forever.
Couple goals! I love that you admit that you argue, that you get grumpy with each other…it’s refreshing to see a real couple on this platform; especially one that doesn’t exploit their kids like family channels do. On the Sistewives side of things, I think Kody is so hung up on Christine because it was her decision to split..not his. He could not control it. He couldn’t stop her, and that drives him crazy. I know we can’t say Kody is a narcissist (even though he is), but my older sister is one…and when I was old enough to understand what was happening, and learned I could say “no” to her demands, it was fireworks. Unfortunately that has now passed from me onto her children. Of course she has a favourite, and she has one she blames everything on….and the one she sees as the black sheep is the one she brought an investment property for (the other two she helped purchase their own home, but the black sheep doesn’t get the deed in her name, even though she’s the most responsible out of all of them)…because that meant she could have a key and walk in at any given moment. If my niece were to leave and go no contact, I don’t know how my sister would cope…it would take YEARS for her to let go, if she ever could. The most difficult thing about a narcissist is that they refuse to see that they’re the problem…it’s always everyone else.
Also he saw Christine as a trophy because she was one of the AUB’s prophets granddaughter. So Kody thought he was special to get one of the AUB royalties princess
From my experience with narcs, they'll protect and coddle whomever gives them the adoration they crave. They'll discard ANYONE who challenges that. Robyn is just as much at risk of his hatred as any of his wives or children, should she stop pandering to his ego. That's why they love babies and young children. They haven't figured the narc out, yet.
You two are great and I love watching your content! Small suggestion: For those of us listening rather than looking at a screen, can you please read each question first? That would be lovely, thanks!
I agree Allison. Whenever I’ve given a silent treatment, it was not on purpose as a retaliation or to hurt the other person. It is always to retreat from something that is hurting ME deeply. I guess I do not have the skills to cope with childhood trauma which rears its ugly head in certain situations. It is much easier for me to retreat until I can get my thoughts and feelings under control. Edit…P.S. The “silent treatment “ was given negative connotations by men who want a confrontation. Why is it so dang bad for usually a woman to retreat and collect her thoughts. Then, a constuctive conversation can happen.
Nah…so tired of placating the narc. The more you stroke him the more he expects it. You don’t respond the same way every time he’ll punish you. They do what they want when they want. I agree Alison. The narc knows but it’s painful so they’ll tell themselves anything(lies) to not have to deal. Or sweep it all under the rug.
Janelle's enneagram is "The Peacekeeper". The down side is that she will do almost anything, say almost anything and play down almost anything to avoid conflict to the detriment of herself or others. This is the doormat personality. Too many people assume that by their silence and apparent apathy that they are in agreement with them. They fade away from relationships. They don't tell you their truth unless they are 100% comfortable and feeling safe with you. She leaned on Meri to say 'this is not right' and fix situations in the family. Meri is not there anymore and she has struggled with speaking up for herself.
Great analysis of Janelle but wish she would reach down & learn to have her personal power. Kody needs to be called to answer for his financial abuses. Janelle needs to fight for the return of money for the mansion & property. She needs therapy to deprogram from her standard of dont rock the plural marriage boat.
You guys actually make me feel so much better about my own marital disagreements LOL. I feel like my husband says the same things about how we have friction hahaha. He doesn’t ever want anything to be a disagreement and he especially doesn’t want emotionally disagreement or upset- I have chalked it up to both his mother being emotionally and physically abusive with her parenting and in how she communicated with his dad - and also to the differences between how men and women experience each other, life, and disagreements- and communicate with each other about it.
My mom used the silent treatment to punish and manipulate my brother and I. Anytime we did anything she perceived as wrong, she'd go silent, wouldn't talk or communicate, she'd go to her room and then you ahd to grovel to her to try and coax her to talk with you. I'd write I'm sorry notes and give them to her, I'd say I'm sorry, and she'd either just purse her lips and ignore you till the next day, or she'd never even acknowledge you. My husband is also like Alison. Because of the silent treatment I grew up under, I'm always desperate for resolutions right away, and can get too aggressive. He needs to back off of the conversation and gather himself. It took us several years of marriage for me to understand he wasn't punishing me and for him to understand I was inner child panicking. Now, I can see when I need to back off, and he needs time, and he can also tell me he needs it. And we always come back later to talk it out. There's no punishment and purpose to hurt someone into doing what you want them to do.
I like the evolution of your marital communication. You are correct just hurting another to gain power in a discussion is not helpful. I often ask my spouse to clarify if what he has said is fuzzy to me.
I love your sharing about your friction .....it's wonderful that you are honest....because you are a loving, commited couple, but the reality of life is we all have times of friction...you made me laugh!❤❤❤
I do appreciate you two talking about your life and how it’s not always easy. All relationships have issues. None are easy. There is a difference between the silent treatment during a fight and the silent treatment during all flights. Sometimes ppl need to walk away for a bit to clear their head and get their thoughts in order. However if every time you fight and they’re only using the silent treatment to move past it, then time to get the f out!!
I go silent because im trying very hard to internalize and slow my thinking because typically, my mind and mouth are going 110%, which is not what I want when having important or highly emotional conversations. Sometimes, I have to keep my mouth shut and stop engaging completely so that when I can communicate, it is clear and kind. Especially if I feel like my attempts to deescalate haven't improved anything. Sometimes, I just need a break, even if it's in the middle of a sentence.
Agree here. She also said in season three that her mother once told her to never bring up anything petty or argue with a polygamist husband because you only had a finite amount of time and you should only focus on the positive aspects of your husband when you were with him. I found that very sad and disturbing. 51:29
David & Allison, I think a great interview to do is with notes to self 444. They are a new channel. Both left AUB and know the OG3. I would not do this as a live unless your not engaging with the audience until the end. I would advertise the hell out of it. It would be a big boost for both channels.
It's a flawed tool to use as a means of diagnosis...I agree. And why I don't feel the same way about Dr. Drew. I hope your channel with Allison gets bigger. You two are more enjoyable to watch and keep me from having to waste my time on tlc anymore. You both break down the only scenes that matter in a more digestible way. 😂❤
The story about Gwen came from Christine on a podcast this week where Christine called Kody a deadbeat dad. Janelle was on the podcast as well. It's one of the many press things the pair has done over the past couple of weeks
Removing Garrison is terrible. Kody prob said some horrible things to him/about him and he doesn’t want it shown. Garrison deserves to be seen and heard
Love both of your input during lives. Please get moderators, it will make your lives much more efficient and exciting and cut the time in half. It’s wise to delegate, not a person failing.
Re the silent treatment. I think most of us bang around like rhinos at some point but it’s okay. It’s ‘normal’ whatever that is. Love you guys. Australia loves you x
I’d like a group interview with the wives and no Kody and a strong interviewer. I don’t think Robyn would participate because I think the “it’s not safe” excuse would get pulled out.
As far as Meri...the narcissists end goal is to totally destroy. Meri was first, Christine was his next victim, but she saw what he did to Meri and her lightbulb went on. She bolted. Out of state even ! She knew.
David, do not tease or criticise your wife in a live. Saying you "do argue and OUR arguing style probably has room for improvement" would achieve what you wanted, but you just shot yourself in the foot. Alison has fun on the lives. You zapped the fun right out of her. She was low mood for most of the rest of the live. Because you just attacked her in public. This hurts you twice! 1. She is your wife and you should want her to have fun. Recognise when she is having fun AND doing things to aid that, not diminish it. 2. Videos are a lot more fun to watch when Alison is having fun. Also hate to tell you Alison but Robyn-splain was said on the show in an earlier season. Xx
Absolutely! It's so true. Remember My Big Fat Greek Wedding? The man may be the head, but the woman is the neck and she can turn the head whichever way she wants it to go. 🤣
Would you consider reading out the comments/questions you are responding to? It would be very helpful for those of us who can only enjoy your content through audio.
Kody did a paid video on grief. He said that "we miss people because we miss those memories we had with them." So I think he is feeling a lot of grief, but I am not sure he feels much guilt.
About Kodys anger towards Christine. Christine was Polygamy ‘royalty’ because her grandfather was the head of AUB. Kody saw that as a ‘leg up’ into leadership for himself.
I think Kody is angry w/Christine because she pushed the first domino and he couldn’t stop the sh8t sh$w that followed. His ego is bruised beyond. I think Janelle is going about business as usual….the only thing that’s changed is that he’s NEVER coming over, as a posed to occasionally. Maybe she finds comfort in knowing that he keeps saying that he doesn’t know why they can’t reconcile?
The dead air is killing me. Can you alternate between 1 pre submitted question and then one from your chat? Pre submitted questions could include season, episode, and time stamp. For example, what do you think Kody meant when he said _______ on S 25 E 15 time stamp 20:25. You would be able to have those clips ready to go before or after answering the question and it would give you the time needed to pick your next chat question. Just a suggestion. Really enjoy your content no matter what you do. Same for trivia, I would enjoy you showing the clip that proves the answer. It would break it up a bit.
My husband used to ‘give me the silent treatment’ when we were upset with each other, it would make me feel invisible and more upset. We finally had a good conversation about it and he said that part of it was that he was afraid he would say something that he couldn’t take back, after I told him how it made me feel we started to do better, I do feel like he went through some kind of male menopause though when it was more frequent.
Christine was an Allred. He married her for prestige, she was the original trophy wife. When she left, everybody in the AUB community heard about it, and they also know what a shitty husband he was
I think it was a previous fight and Kody slammed Gabe and Garrison in the fight. I think they needed to re-film the fight to exclude any mention on Garrison.
Christine gets most of his anger because she is the strongest and most outspoken of his ex-wives. Christine was always calling him out the entire show. She left, and everyone else followed her lead. Meri doesn't like Christine, but she knew that if Christine leave, she would be following her out the door, one way or another.
Internet sleuth --- Finds that the jacket WAS NOT available until 2023! Contacts the Company, and the company SAYS it WAS NOT available until 2023. David: Yeah, I don't believe that. LOL, he could have had it earlier. Once David has convinced himself of something, his mind does not change unless it is hit in his face.
P Diddy made choices to be who he is. Plenty of people have trauma and don't turn into P Diddy. We have control of who we are and eternal forces don't determine who we are and what we do. I hate that basic philosophy that external forces determine our fate, We need to take accountability for our actions.
Meri has a sense of humor and is fun in the kitchen. You should seriously invite her to compete with you! She apparently makes the best rice crispy bars on the planet.
The outdoor snow scene between Robin and Kody was staged. TikTok creators have found bonus footage of Kody changing his wording from Madison scurried her children away from him to Madison scuttled her children away. So they did multiple takes of this scene.
The narcissistic injury thing makes perfect sense where Christine is concerned. She kicked him out and that burst his bubble that he is the greatest with the best pecs ever.
Maybe the snow fight was staged but not staged. Someone, maybe Gwen, had mentioned in the past that sometimes the producers will ask them to redo a conversation or argument for the camera so there's some truth but the version we see is awkward. That might be what happened here. I didn't think it was a master plan of a redemption arc but it seemed a little planned still.
Robyn is teaching her daughters the same messy emotionally over the top behaviors. I saw them in one of the latest and it was like Robyn’s cry face manifested on their faces.
If it came down to life or death situation I don’t think I could NOT choose my child over my spouse. My child is my heart . But I think a united front is healthy and nurturing our relationship and being loving around my children is definitely the way to go
🤫 Silent treatment.🤫 For me, I go silent when I feel like I'm not being heard. My point of view or feelings are being misunderstood, and/or it's turning into a huge argument. I shut down and go silent, but I will come back to it later and try again, sometimes doing the same cycle multiple times before we reach an understanding.
The silent treatment: An egotistical, former manager used to do that. He thought that depriving a targeted staff member of his constant 'help' was a punishment. He put lot of energy into ignoring them. Actually, the person he was snubbing was relieved and got a lot of quality work done. We preferred being the subject of his silent treatment. Sidebar: After he left the company, he would make the occasional phone call to the person who replaced him to remind them that the 'silent treatment' was the best way to keep 'those people' in line. He was ignored.
When I fuss with my husband, he always starts cleaning or sweeping the floors!! Sometimes, I fuss for no reason other than to get the dishes done for me!!! 😂😂👍🏻
My ex-husband is a narcissist. Before I understood what it was called, I dealt with him by gray rocking. I still do it when he visits our daughter and grandkids. Both my girls do the same.
You give absolutely no reaction and minimal information. It is basically drawing into yourself and saying uhhuh.. mmmhmmm... Making yourself as uninteresting an d unemotional as possible. Christine showed signs of using the technique when she was leaving and trying to talk things through with him. She put up with the whole knife in the kidneys.. no response... although she was clearly shaken. Unfortunately it only protects so far.. the narc or personality disordered person cal easily go into a full blown rage at even looking the wrong way.. or lack of response. Ribyn to me very deliberately set kody up to go off on Christine in the knife in the kidneys scene
I just hope Allison knows that we know David is exaggerating about rhino dishes lol 😂 It does feel for me that if I’m mad and putting dishes away, you’ll randomly drop a pan and be like “sorry, I’m mad but that wasn’t a part of it” 😂
Someone found the kind of coat Kody was wearing, in that scene and they didn't make that color until a year plus, later, than the time frame of the scene. So they had to have filmed it later.
I think he picks on Christine the most because he wasn't attracted to her but she was "polygamy royalty so she was a feather in his cap and he thought she was so indoctrinated into the cult that she would take all of his crap and continue to accept it because being in the marriage was her way to get to their celestial heaven. finally she left him, how dare she do that, she knows that will make him look like a loser in the faith if he ever wants to go back.
I would really recommened the book The powe of meaning by Emily Esfahani Smith.She is a psychologisch grew up in Canada ,her parwnts came feom Iran and she now lives in Washington.She has written mutiple books.This biokshow us how we in our western cultur we are obsessed with our goal to be happy.Many people feel estranged and aimless in their lives.Emily tries to refocus are view.Not hapinees but a meaningfull life should be our goal.I read this book and found it eyeopening.I think it would gives some more dept to the content of this channel.I think it is such a helpfull book to all ages.
This is just my possible twist on why Christine gets most of Kody's anger. On one side of the coin there is anger but under that is always hurt. I think before Robyn came along Christine was the one Kody cared about the most. The quote "Thou doth protest too much" comes to mind here. He overstated sooooo many times how much he never loved her. Yet in the beginning you saw some sweet moments. UNTIL Robyn showed up and he and Robyn destroyed the family. Then he found the one he says he truly loved. Let's not forget Christine was the first one to leave and bruise his fragile ego. She got a back bone and stood up for herself and her kids and walked away. Those are my thoughts. It could be a mix of the two, more than likely it is the last reason. How dare Christine want somwthing more, how dare she make him look like the idiot he is ( in his mind). We all know he did that to himself. I would like to know what happened to the nice, caring Cody, and how he turned into a complete and utter idiot!!
I always think Allison is spot on, I think Janelle has a bigger perspective on life and sees things for what they are but is less reactive and passionate about it.
David, you are so right on about how Robyn handles Kody. "Kody speak" is protecting his ego. To add more, I think that is why Kody is so besotted with her and gives her such high praise. She is a steady stream of narcissistic supply.
It’s so gross and pathetic.
Absolutely, she soft-pedals everything she says and allows him to believe whatever he wants to. They are not connecting at all, it is one sided. She married her dad!!
The only way that I buy Robyn's woe-is-me story about her bio father, is if her mother instilled it in her. From all accounts, Robyn had a tremendous relationship with her stepfather--to the point of him being invited into the splash-zone of her birthing bed.
Also, if she were so traumatized, she should not have taken her kids from their father.
@eydiefalkenhagen4434 I agree with you 💯 %
Some of the kids have said that Meri was abusive to them growing up, which is why they do not interact with her. Christine and Janelle have also expressed they were treated badly by Meri. A couple of times, Janelle even left the family due to how Meri treated her.
Janelle said she left the family twice because Kody was trying to make her move and she didn’t WANT to move. So she stayed behind. The KIDS went with Kody!
He has chosen to scapegoat Christine leaving as the beginning of the end. Additionally, I do think she is the most fun of all the wives and he has realized too late what her leaving meant.
I think Janelle protects herself from more trauma by compartmentalizing
Yes
100%. I share this trait and it’s definitely not just her being an independent person; it’s an adapted coping mechanism
Agreed. I also think she isn’t honest with herself.
I think Janelle sweeps things under the rug....she'll deal with it another day.
She just can’t say the word divorce. She doesn’t want to face it n
I grew up in a house where the silent treatment was incredibly common. The person doing it thinks it’s like a punishment. Thankfully that’s not what my husband experienced, so I’ve learned better ways to communicate in my adult relationships. That being said, there are times when I’m angry or upset and need the quiet or music (while cleaning of course 😂) and need to process. I’ll gather my thoughts and a pan for having a constructive conversation and can then go talk about it. My silence isn’t malicious, nor long-term. It gives me the space for the work I have to do to unlearn the toxic communication that I grew up with. I really do feel there’s a difference between this and the silent treatment.
My mother always punishes me by not talking for days. Well she thinks it's punishment, I think it's heaven.
Alison relax… most women clean/ do a chore like rhino when they are mad, it’s normal to get frustration out that way and not say something you have to take back. It didn’t make you look bad or misrepresented. I enjoyed the honesty.
I sometimes think my husband makes me angry on purpose…the house gets cleaned faster that way 😂
Totally true!
@@Chumpess_X😂😂😂same here
True… it’s a good coping mechanism. I don’t necessarily do it when I’m mad but I absolutely do it when I’m stressed and just need to find some type of soothing that makes me feel in order… cleaning does it for 😉.
My husband is the one who starts doing that. Cleaning or fixing things when he's mad 😂 it always annoys me but in hindsight I kind of appreciate it
I don't always watch the lives live, but I always watch them the next day. I really appreciate both your and Allison's opinions.
Same
Allison believing Robyn didn’t want to buy the McMansion, blows my mind. Robyn is such a good manipulator, she is able to do it, even through the tv screen. I do agree with her views, most of the time, though! Janelle should totally be a close friend.
Because he was always jealous of her. She was bright and bubbly.. her dad loved her so much.. by birth she was valued in the religion he wanted to ne big in
Christine annoys some but we can see that she was honest and kind with an optimism about life
For a narc like kody damaging and reducing Christine made him feel better about herself.
Its pretty classic
Do he us completely enraged because she stood up to him.
Thanks for putting yourselves out there!! Its comforting :)
I think Gabe meant they didn't mistreat them bc Kody wouldn't allow for it, which the kids probably took as an expression of favoritism. Whereas all the og kids were rough with each other physically and verbally(and no one seemed to care), they were probably made to treat Robyn's kids differently. I'm thinking of Maddie saying they expect the og kids to make all the changes to accommodate them, but they have to change some, too.
This is exactly the dynamic. Robyn is actually more gentle and meek than the other wives. She didn’t want her children to be treated roughly, so her kids were treated differently. This separated them from the other kids unintentionally. Robin is protective so she didn’t want Christine to mother her kids. This further separated her kids from the og clan.
That was fabulous. You two are not on a reality show but in a sense you are a little bit. The way you interact is not only adorable, it's real. You say what's on your mind, you squabble and fight for control of the mouse. I feel you show us the real you. I think that's why I look forward to your reaction videos after watching a new episode. It's because you both are more entertaining and endearing than Kody interacting with any of his wives. I would rather have more of you two on my screen but this replay of your live stream was just right 👍. Thank you for sharing your time with us guys. ❤
Not sure you will see this, but I was married to an alcoholic narcissist. Silent treatment could go for a good week or so. After some marriage counseling, I took the approach of saying, "this is how I feel when you do or say something negative , mean or nasty to me". His comeback was , "see, it's always about you." Needless to say, 10 years to stay in this relationship was enough.
Mine said, no I didn’t or if I express my feelings…no! Negates how I feel. It’s shocking. So I cannot have a feeling or a reaction to his gaslighting. I’m wrong, he only knows how I’m supposed to feel🥴
“I’ll work on that” is my back door😂
Mine would just gloss over it like nothing ever happened. So I was left wondering what the fuck happened, which just lead to me blaming myself more. Which is exactly what they wanted
What bothers me the most about Robyn is her inconsistency. For example, she talks about how she knows how difficulty divorce is and how you never speak ill about the other parent, yet she forced her three oldest kids' Dad to forego parental rights and created a narrative that he was a bad father when on the show her bio kids clearly had a relationship with him. Forcing her kids to refer to Kody as dad nearly the minute they were married. Stating that she wanted the family and the relationships with the sisterwives yet consistently isolating herself, using her influence on Kody to fundamentally change the culture of the family and NOT looking out for what was in the best interest of the other moms. No one is perfect and all these things would be much easier to understand if she own it rather than deny what is painful evident on what we've seen the show. It's the inconsistency and the lack of being able to own her choices and be truthful.
Robyn came into the family and demand the teenager to sign rules she want for the kids because she want her kids to stay in their religion. Maddie said NO! I don’t want to sign and Robyn’s face tells it all. She went frustratingly angry that she couldn’t demand the kids to do as she want. So Robyn distanced herself and her kids from the family kids because she doesn’t want her kids to have it their own way just her way
Yes! I could not believe how she reacted to KIDS! Told me a lot about her. She is a control freak and I feel sorry for her kids. I’d read or listen to her OG kids later if they tell all. Between the religion and her passive/aggressive narc controlling mothering has got to be wild!
Robyn got all angry because a teen (remembet how she said the prefrontal cortex is not developed in young people) did not want to commit herself to a future in polygamy. Robyn is a cancer on the Browns.
I offered the placenta of my first born to a 45 year midwife who had always been too scared to ask her patients… for her passion fruit plant! That’s it, I draw the line at planting it in the garden 😂
Someone shared an email reaching out to Kühl to find out when the jacket Kody’s was wearing when K and R were talking outside in the snow in the oddly shoveled patch of the driveway. The jacket wasn’t released until summer 2023 so that conversation was filmed after Garrison’s passing. This show is getting so out of control with the ridiculous timeline and dealing with Garrison, Christine and David, etc.
But Garrison did not die until May 2024.
@sherrydiddle Yeah, so they couldn't have filmed the "argument" scene in 2022 like the show claimed everything was filmed. Just because the earliest the jacket was available was summer 2023, doesn't mean they filmed the aforementioned scene in 2023.
I enjoy watching you guys. You crack me up.
Omgoodness! I almost spewed coffee out of my nose when Allison squeezed your leg! 😂❤
So relatable lol😂
And then he exposed her! Completely defeats the point of a woman doing that with her husband..🤦🏼♀️I'd be annoyed too
@@savannaharvey he is quite annoying
I've noticed that when Kody gets into an argument with one of the kids, the kids are talking about their relationship with Kody. When Kody feels cornered or called out, he brings Robyn’s name into the argument to distract the conversation and hides behind her. Kody looks like the relationship coward to me.
Kody said he will not argue with Robyn if the subject is his taking some accountability as a father concerning his 12 kids. He says that will weaken his relationship with Robyn. Why does it have to cause problems with his wife? He is terrified to lose Robyn? If the money goes, she may walk.
I think Kody's anger about Christine leaving is all about his ego because she was polygamy royalty. She was the prophet's granddaughter. Even in his conversation with the church leaders over Mary's release, he was demanding that they never give Christine a release. Which in that religion ties her to him for all eternity. Even Kody said "it's all about the ego baby."
If I were Christine I would ask the church for a release just to irritate him.
I honestly think it was simply the fact that SHE left him. And took her financial with her. She packed up his shit and and said she was done. His ego can't handle the fact that he was not in control AT ALL. She will live in his head rent free forever.
Slamming the cupboards is a very kind heads up that you are on the precipice of big trouble, buddy.
Couple goals! I love that you admit that you argue, that you get grumpy with each other…it’s refreshing to see a real couple on this platform; especially one that doesn’t exploit their kids like family channels do.
On the Sistewives side of things, I think Kody is so hung up on Christine because it was her decision to split..not his. He could not control it. He couldn’t stop her, and that drives him crazy.
I know we can’t say Kody is a narcissist (even though he is), but my older sister is one…and when I was old enough to understand what was happening, and learned I could say “no” to her demands, it was fireworks. Unfortunately that has now passed from me onto her children. Of course she has a favourite, and she has one she blames everything on….and the one she sees as the black sheep is the one she brought an investment property for (the other two she helped purchase their own home, but the black sheep doesn’t get the deed in her name, even though she’s the most responsible out of all of them)…because that meant she could have a key and walk in at any given moment. If my niece were to leave and go no contact, I don’t know how my sister would cope…it would take YEARS for her to let go, if she ever could. The most difficult thing about a narcissist is that they refuse to see that they’re the problem…it’s always everyone else.
Also he saw Christine as a trophy because she was one of the AUB’s prophets granddaughter. So Kody thought he was special to get one of the AUB royalties princess
@@lindaefraim5895 Agreed. Then once his ‘Princess’ leaves him, surprise surprise he loses his religion.
From my experience with narcs, they'll protect and coddle whomever gives them the adoration they crave. They'll discard ANYONE who challenges that. Robyn is just as much at risk of his hatred as any of his wives or children, should she stop pandering to his ego. That's why they love babies and young children. They haven't figured the narc out, yet.
You two are great and I love watching your content! Small suggestion: For those of us listening rather than looking at a screen, can you please read each question first? That would be lovely, thanks!
Take two: You definitely got better about this as the live went on. 😀
Oh and please no more scrolling comments!
I agree Allison. Whenever I’ve given a silent treatment, it was not on purpose as a retaliation or to hurt the other person. It is always to retreat from something that is hurting ME deeply. I guess I do not have the skills to cope with childhood trauma which rears its ugly head in certain situations. It is much easier for me to retreat until I can get my thoughts and feelings under control.
Edit…P.S. The “silent treatment “ was given negative connotations by men who want a confrontation. Why is it so dang bad for usually a woman to retreat and collect her thoughts. Then, a constuctive conversation can happen.
You two are funny, I love your banter.
Let Allison have the mouse! :)
Nah…so tired of placating the narc. The more you stroke him the more he expects it. You don’t respond the same way every time he’ll punish you. They do what they want when they want. I agree Alison. The narc knows but it’s painful so they’ll tell themselves anything(lies) to not have to deal. Or sweep it all under the rug.
Janelle's enneagram is "The Peacekeeper". The down side is that she will do almost anything, say almost anything and play down almost anything to avoid conflict to the detriment of herself or others. This is the doormat personality. Too many people assume that by their silence and apparent apathy that they are in agreement with them. They fade away from relationships. They don't tell you their truth unless they are 100% comfortable and feeling safe with you. She leaned on Meri to say 'this is not right' and fix situations in the family. Meri is not there anymore and she has struggled with speaking up for herself.
Great analysis of Janelle but wish she would reach down & learn to have her personal power. Kody needs to be called to answer for his financial abuses. Janelle needs to fight for the return of money for the mansion & property. She needs therapy to deprogram from her standard of dont rock the plural marriage boat.
David’s going to get the silent treatment after this 😂
You guys actually make me feel so much better about my own marital disagreements LOL. I feel like my husband says the same things about how we have friction hahaha. He doesn’t ever want anything to be a disagreement and he especially doesn’t want emotionally disagreement or upset- I have chalked it up to both his mother being emotionally and physically abusive with her parenting and in how she communicated with his dad - and also to the differences between how men and women experience each other, life, and disagreements- and communicate with each other about it.
My mom used the silent treatment to punish and manipulate my brother and I. Anytime we did anything she perceived as wrong, she'd go silent, wouldn't talk or communicate, she'd go to her room and then you ahd to grovel to her to try and coax her to talk with you. I'd write I'm sorry notes and give them to her, I'd say I'm sorry, and she'd either just purse her lips and ignore you till the next day, or she'd never even acknowledge you. My husband is also like Alison. Because of the silent treatment I grew up under, I'm always desperate for resolutions right away, and can get too aggressive. He needs to back off of the conversation and gather himself. It took us several years of marriage for me to understand he wasn't punishing me and for him to understand I was inner child panicking. Now, I can see when I need to back off, and he needs time, and he can also tell me he needs it. And we always come back later to talk it out. There's no punishment and purpose to hurt someone into doing what you want them to do.
I like the evolution of your marital communication. You are correct just hurting another to gain power in a discussion is not helpful. I often ask my spouse to clarify if what he has said is fuzzy to me.
I love your sharing about your friction .....it's wonderful that you are honest....because you are a loving, commited couple, but the reality of life is we all have times of friction...you made me laugh!❤❤❤
I do appreciate you two talking about your life and how it’s not always easy. All relationships have issues. None are easy. There is a difference between the silent treatment during a fight and the silent treatment during all flights. Sometimes ppl need to walk away for a bit to clear their head and get their thoughts in order. However if every time you fight and they’re only using the silent treatment to move past it, then time to get the f out!!
I go silent because im trying very hard to internalize and slow my thinking because typically, my mind and mouth are going 110%, which is not what I want when having important or highly emotional conversations. Sometimes, I have to keep my mouth shut and stop engaging completely so that when I can communicate, it is clear and kind. Especially if I feel like my attempts to deescalate haven't improved anything.
Sometimes, I just need a break, even if it's in the middle of a sentence.
Agree here. She also said in season three that her mother once told her to never bring up anything petty or argue with a polygamist husband because you only had a finite amount of time and you should only focus on the positive aspects of your husband when you were with him. I found that very sad and disturbing. 51:29
That advice is how Kody was enabled in his plural marriages. All relationships needs to air out grievances.
David & Allison, I think a great interview to do is with notes to self 444. They are a new channel. Both left AUB and know the OG3. I would not do this as a live unless your not engaging with the audience until the end. I would advertise the hell out of it. It would be a big boost for both channels.
It's a flawed tool to use as a means of diagnosis...I agree. And why I don't feel the same way about Dr. Drew. I hope your channel with Allison gets bigger. You two are more enjoyable to watch and keep me from having to waste my time on tlc anymore. You both break down the only scenes that matter in a more digestible way. 😂❤
Moms mad
Now there's a rhinoceros in the kitchen
😂😂😂
That's a great t shirt right there
The story about Gwen came from Christine on a podcast this week where Christine called Kody a deadbeat dad. Janelle was on the podcast as well. It's one of the many press things the pair has done over the past couple of weeks
Removing Garrison is terrible. Kody prob said some horrible things to him/about him and he doesn’t want it shown. Garrison deserves to be seen and heard
I agree. His voice was minimised and reduced enough. Let him call what he wanted to say from beyond the grave.
It could be that Janelle requested that TLC edit Garrison out of this season until they reach the episode (s) dealing with his death.
Love both of your input during lives.
Please get moderators, it will make your lives much more efficient and exciting and cut the time in half.
It’s wise to delegate, not a person failing.
Re the silent treatment. I think most of us bang around like rhinos at some point but it’s okay. It’s ‘normal’ whatever that is. Love you guys. Australia loves you x
The coat manufacturer said the coat wasn’t even available until June 2023 . They put out a statement
I’d like a group interview with the wives and no Kody and a strong interviewer. I don’t think Robyn would participate because I think the “it’s not safe” excuse would get pulled out.
As far as Meri...the narcissists end goal is to totally destroy. Meri was first, Christine was his next victim, but she saw what he did to Meri and her lightbulb went on. She bolted. Out of state even ! She knew.
Y’all model such a fun, positive relationship… thank you, truly
I agree Janelle needs to find her emotions. Plus she is feeling her children's anguish.
I've not seen where Kody feels guilt, remorse, or responsibility for anything, ever. Period.
Alison, I too slam cupboards and wash dishes loudly when angry. I also huff loudly and stomp around lol
I think Robyn scripted it, but Kody, as usual, went rogue.
I agree too
Maori usually plant a tree over their placenta or put it under a tree used for that purpose.
David, do not tease or criticise your wife in a live.
Saying you "do argue and OUR arguing style probably has room for improvement" would achieve what you wanted, but you just shot yourself in the foot.
Alison has fun on the lives. You zapped the fun right out of her. She was low mood for most of the rest of the live. Because you just attacked her in public.
This hurts you twice!
1. She is your wife and you should want her to have fun. Recognise when she is having fun AND doing things to aid that, not diminish it.
2. Videos are a lot more fun to watch when Alison is having fun.
Also hate to tell you Alison but Robyn-splain was said on the show in an earlier season. Xx
Completely agree. Sucked the fun out of it for me a viewer too. He seems a little impossible.
Robin reminds me of my ex-mil……..”you can get a man to do anything you want him to…..if you let him think it’s his own idea!”😂😂😂😂😂😂
Absolutely! It's so true. Remember My Big Fat Greek Wedding? The man may be the head, but the woman is the neck and she can turn the head whichever way she wants it to go. 🤣
Would you consider reading out the comments/questions you are responding to? It would be very helpful for those of us who can only enjoy your content through audio.
Kody did a paid video on grief. He said that "we miss people because we miss those memories we had with them." So I think he is feeling a lot of grief, but I am not sure he feels much guilt.
Yeah I saw the cameo myself, I'd say he's grieving 😢
Obvious you love each other very much. One of the reasons I watch. Plus, I think you want to express the truth.
About Kodys anger towards Christine. Christine was Polygamy ‘royalty’ because her grandfather was the head of AUB. Kody saw that as a ‘leg up’ into leadership for himself.
I think Kody is angry w/Christine because she pushed the first domino and he couldn’t stop the sh8t sh$w that followed. His ego is bruised beyond. I think Janelle is going about business as usual….the only thing that’s changed is that he’s NEVER coming over, as a posed to occasionally. Maybe she finds comfort in knowing that he keeps saying that he doesn’t know why they can’t reconcile?
The dead air is killing me. Can you alternate between 1 pre submitted question and then one from your chat? Pre submitted questions could include season, episode, and time stamp. For example, what do you think Kody meant when he said _______ on S 25 E 15 time stamp 20:25. You would be able to have those clips ready to go before or after answering the question and it would give you the time needed to pick your next chat question. Just a suggestion. Really enjoy your content no matter what you do. Same for trivia, I would enjoy you showing the clip that proves the answer. It would break it up a bit.
My husband used to ‘give me the silent treatment’ when we were upset with each other, it would make me feel invisible and more upset. We finally had a good conversation about it and he said that part of it was that he was afraid he would say something that he couldn’t take back, after I told him how it made me feel we started to do better, I do feel like he went through some kind of male menopause though when it was more frequent.
Christine was an Allred. He married her for prestige, she was the original trophy wife.
When she left, everybody in the AUB community heard about it, and they also know what a shitty husband he was
I think it was a previous fight and Kody slammed Gabe and Garrison in the fight. I think they needed to re-film the fight to exclude any mention on Garrison.
Christine gets most of his anger because she is the strongest and most outspoken of his ex-wives. Christine was always calling him out the entire show. She left, and everyone else followed her lead. Meri doesn't like Christine, but she knew that if Christine leave, she would be following her out the door, one way or another.
Christine corrected him all the time and told him to “do better” which probably felt like narcissistic injuries to him.
Kody hates that Christine is just so much smarter than he. Robyn too
Maybe you should collect the questions first and then go live.
I absolutely believe Allison acts like that when she's giving David the silent treatment 😂
Internet sleuth --- Finds that the jacket WAS NOT available until 2023! Contacts the Company, and the company SAYS it WAS NOT available until 2023. David: Yeah, I don't believe that. LOL, he could have had it earlier. Once David has convinced himself of something, his mind does not change unless it is hit in his face.
P Diddy made choices to be who he is. Plenty of people have trauma and don't turn into P Diddy. We have control of who we are and eternal forces don't determine who we are and what we do. I hate that basic philosophy that external forces determine our fate, We need to take accountability for our actions.
True. But some can’t
Meri has a sense of humor and is fun in the kitchen. You should seriously invite her to compete with you! She apparently makes the best rice crispy bars on the planet.
The outdoor snow scene between Robin and Kody was staged. TikTok creators have found bonus footage of Kody changing his wording from Madison scurried her children away from him to Madison scuttled her children away. So they did multiple takes of this scene.
I loved the cleared rectangle of snow
Heard this as well
I love Alison! Please more Alison!
The narcissistic injury thing makes perfect sense where Christine is concerned. She kicked him out and that burst his bubble that he is the greatest with the best pecs ever.
Maybe the snow fight was staged but not staged. Someone, maybe Gwen, had mentioned in the past that sometimes the producers will ask them to redo a conversation or argument for the camera so there's some truth but the version we see is awkward. That might be what happened here. I didn't think it was a master plan of a redemption arc but it seemed a little planned still.
Yes Gwen commented on Christine have to use a pregnancy bump
Yes, please, to another trivia night! I missed the last one and need some Pop Psych merch! 😂
Robyn is teaching her daughters the same messy emotionally over the top behaviors. I saw them in one of the latest and it was like Robyn’s cry face manifested on their faces.
If it came down to life or death situation I don’t think I could NOT choose my child over my spouse. My child is my heart . But I think a united front is healthy and nurturing our relationship and being loving around my children is definitely the way to go
Yes another trivia night plz! I missed the first one
🤫 Silent treatment.🤫 For me, I go silent when I feel like I'm not being heard. My point of view or feelings are being misunderstood, and/or it's turning into a huge argument. I shut down and go silent, but I will come back to it later and try again, sometimes doing the same cycle multiple times before we reach an understanding.
Rhinoceros lol. We all relate Allyson.
The silent treatment: An egotistical, former manager used to do that. He thought that depriving a targeted staff member of his constant 'help' was a punishment. He put lot of energy into ignoring them. Actually, the person he was snubbing was relieved and got a lot of quality work done. We preferred being the subject of his silent treatment. Sidebar: After he left the company, he would make the occasional phone call to the person who replaced him to remind them that the 'silent treatment' was the best way to keep 'those people' in line. He was ignored.
When I fuss with my husband, he always starts cleaning or sweeping the floors!! Sometimes, I fuss for no reason other than to get the dishes done for me!!! 😂😂👍🏻
Good Energy is very eye opening and just fantastic!
'Why are you squeezing my leg ?' 😅😅😅😅
The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive form of conflict and confrontation.
The coat Kidney was wearing in the snow fight was only available after the snow fight. You're soo naive David, listen to your wife more David.
Sometimes you need to be silent so you don’t say the wrong things.
My ex-husband is a narcissist. Before I understood what it was called, I dealt with him by gray rocking. I still do it when he visits our daughter and grandkids. Both my girls do the same.
What’s gray rocking?
You give absolutely no reaction and minimal information. It is basically drawing into yourself and saying uhhuh.. mmmhmmm...
Making yourself as uninteresting an d unemotional as possible.
Christine showed signs of using the technique when she was leaving and trying to talk things through with him.
She put up with the whole knife in the kidneys.. no response... although she was clearly shaken.
Unfortunately it only protects so far.. the narc or personality disordered person cal easily go into a full blown rage at even looking the wrong way.. or lack of response.
Ribyn to me very deliberately set kody up to go off on Christine in the knife in the kidneys scene
Mary can gain so much strength from interacting with you. i think she would have an aha moment every five minutes.
I just hope Allison knows that we know David is exaggerating about rhino dishes lol 😂 It does feel for me that if I’m mad and putting dishes away, you’ll randomly drop a pan and be like “sorry, I’m mad but that wasn’t a part of it” 😂
Someone found the kind of coat Kody was wearing, in that scene and they didn't make that color until a year plus, later, than the time frame of the scene. So they had to have filmed it later.
I think he picks on Christine the most because he wasn't attracted to her but she was "polygamy royalty so she was a feather in his cap and he thought she was so indoctrinated into the cult that she would take all of his crap and continue to accept it because being in the marriage was her way to get to their celestial heaven. finally she left him, how dare she do that, she knows that will make him look like a loser in the faith if he ever wants to go back.
I would really recommened the book The powe of meaning by Emily Esfahani Smith.She is a psychologisch grew up in Canada ,her parwnts came feom Iran and she now lives in Washington.She has written mutiple books.This biokshow us how we in our western cultur we are obsessed with our goal to be happy.Many people feel estranged and aimless in their lives.Emily tries to refocus are view.Not hapinees but a meaningfull life should be our goal.I read this book and found it eyeopening.I think it would gives some more dept to the content of this channel.I think it is such a helpfull book to all ages.
You said talc wants that “redemption arc”, but I think that they’re totally okay with the continuing derailment, too. It’s all money for them.
This was a great episode !!
This is just my possible twist on why Christine gets most of Kody's anger. On one side of the coin there is anger but under that is always hurt. I think before Robyn came along Christine was the one Kody cared about the most. The quote "Thou doth protest too much" comes to mind here. He overstated sooooo many times how much he never loved her. Yet in the beginning you saw some sweet moments. UNTIL Robyn showed up and he and Robyn destroyed the family. Then he found the one he says he truly loved. Let's not forget Christine was the first one to leave and bruise his fragile ego. She got a back bone and stood up for herself and her kids and walked away. Those are my thoughts. It could be a mix of the two, more than likely it is the last reason. How dare Christine want somwthing more, how dare she make him look like the idiot he is ( in his mind). We all know he did that to himself. I would like to know what happened to the nice, caring Cody, and how he turned into a complete and utter idiot!!
I always think Allison is spot on, I think Janelle has a bigger perspective on life and sees things for what they are but is less reactive and passionate about it.
Kody cannot see beyond himself. That's it. Does not matter what any of the wives do, think or feel. Robyn strokes his ego. She is weak.
I have just found you guys and spent the last hour listening. How do I know when your live? 1:00:21
That is so funny because that is so me and my husband. I am the silent giver.