my advice is this fears and anxiety are deep wounds rooted in the sub conscious mind from this life or past lives bad experiences me myself struggle with mental issues because my mom violently attacked me physically twice and still offends me verbally so the best is to heal with self love praying and then, socialize from a good state of mind..
This is gold! Wow, completely changed my outlook on socializing. Programming from home since quarantine has completely turned me into a hermit and I've been struggling to get out of my head & meet new people. The appearance note is key here- I'm going to up my game. One note too- even a phone call with a friend or family member before something I'm nervous about is helpful- warms up speaking skills & helps me transition to a bigger event. Great video Callum!
Great video Calum! Your videos are pearls. I find the suggestion regarding socially warming up with people very useful. Taking 30 minutes to walk to the place and approach strangers, as you said, instead of driving there directly can make the difference. Many of us which are in the "hustle mode" cannot conceive taking 30 minutes for such a thing. They prefer going to the party or pub directly and use the last minute of "working hours" to accomplish more. There is not intermediary phase. But if you take social interaction seriously as other areas of life (work, sport etc) you understand that warming up is crucial. Take a singer or an actor before going up to the stage. They do exercises to warm up their voice and body by themselves and with other people. And even if you don't want to loose 30 minutes of your time since you want to accomplish more that day.. fine 👍🏻. You can still use the time in the car talking, singing or humming. But please do a little bit of warm up. Take care of you social life and give the time it deserves. Especially if you are naturally introvert and downward spirals/habits can easily establish as Calum explains in the video. I think there is no better timing in recent history for this content as we are slowly going out from lock downs into normal life, experiencing real social events again.
Thank you for this video! I am glad I found someone who really understands an introvert's perspective and give such valuable insight and advice! Would love to hear you talk more about this topic from your own experience!
I think the reason for the anxiety gap increases with the increase in isolation. This is because our mind before isolation was well aware of the environment in which it lives, and this helps it to feel in control and confident and that everything is fine. Still, after isolation for a long time, the percentage of uncertainty is high. The percentage of the unknown is higher than the known rate, and this creates a sense of danger and makes our minds activate the protection system that creates barriers and prevents us from doing anything unknown. The rate of inaccuracy is high, such as the fear of sleeping in a dark room when we were young, and this is an instinctive thing. We can overcome it as we overcame the fear of Sleeping in the dark by the mentality of discovering danger, which is an important thing. Instinctively, when we feel danger, we prefer not to look, isolate and move away. Still, the conscious and correct behaviour is to explore the danger and know its truth, which helps to eliminate it or develop behaviours to deal with it.
Hey Calum, thank you so kuch for the video! Watched this after part 1, and to be honest, I kinda knew most of these tips, but never applied them. I'm introverted too, and up until some years ago I was really anxious when it came to socializing. I'd get anxious when meeting new people, super nervous when I find a girl I like (or girls in general) and some times even got anxious just by going out to buy something or meeting a friend after a long time. Thankfully I've made good progress this last 4 years. I graduated high school and went to college, I was dead nervous at first but in little time and by showing up every day I ended up making friends (some of them are girls), I was more charismatic as you say, and overall had a great time. The romantic part still terrifies me, and I have no skill in that either, but I'm trying my best to get better at it. Lately I'm not having a good time. I don't have a job, I abandoned all my hobbies during the year, and I don't know if I'll end up taking action on any of my projects. I actually got in sort of a date with a girl I like, but fear and anxiety ate me up inside and I ended up making zero moves, I felt super awkward and boring the whole time. Don't wanna tell my whole life story but basically we've met for a couple months now and I think she might like me, but I struggled so much with showing intention and flirting that I pretty much gave up any chance with her, at this rate she probably only thinks I'm just being friendly. This is why it blew my mind when you started talking about social warmup and reminding of times where I was being really charismatic and talking with many people, because I recalled that I because I was taking care of myself, pursuing goals and talking to many people, I felt incredible. You reminded me of my capabilities and that being social is relative to how much you put yourself out there and practice. I wasn't feeling good with myself these days, but watching this video gave me life again, suddenly I feel everything's possible again. Thank you so much Calum. Greetings from Argentina! Merry Christmas too!
Thanks for the tips, but I hate how we have to consciously put in effort. I remember when I was a kid at school, socialising was effortless, I didn't think about it, it just happened naturally. I wish it was like this as an adult
do you have any tips on being approachable because i don't want to have to approach all the time, i want to feel like the other person WANTS to speak to me too if that makes sense
Hey ALL need better social skills: introverts, extroverts and ambiverts! Thanks Calum!
This is video is AMAZING! 10/10, it makes so much sense to me. Thank you so much for this Calum.
my advice is this fears and anxiety are deep wounds rooted in the sub conscious mind from this life or past lives bad experiences me myself struggle with mental issues because my mom violently attacked me physically twice and still offends me verbally so the best is to heal with self love praying and then, socialize from a good state of mind..
This is gold! Wow, completely changed my outlook on socializing. Programming from home since quarantine has completely turned me into a hermit and I've been struggling to get out of my head & meet new people. The appearance note is key here- I'm going to up my game. One note too- even a phone call with a friend or family member before something I'm nervous about is helpful- warms up speaking skills & helps me transition to a bigger event. Great video Callum!
Cheers brotha, glad it helped!
Great video Calum! Your videos are pearls.
I find the suggestion regarding socially warming up with people very useful.
Taking 30 minutes to walk to the place and approach strangers, as you said, instead of driving there directly can make the difference.
Many of us which are in the "hustle mode" cannot conceive taking 30 minutes for such a thing. They prefer going to the party or pub directly and use the last minute of "working hours" to accomplish more. There is not intermediary phase. But if you take social interaction seriously as other areas of life (work, sport etc) you understand that warming up is crucial.
Take a singer or an actor before going up to the stage. They do exercises to warm up their voice and body by themselves and with other people.
And even if you don't want to loose 30 minutes of your time since you want to accomplish more that day.. fine 👍🏻. You can still use the time in the car talking, singing or humming.
But please do a little bit of warm up. Take care of you social life and give the time it deserves. Especially if you are naturally introvert and downward spirals/habits can easily establish as Calum explains in the video.
I think there is no better timing in recent history for this content as we are slowly going out from lock downs into normal life, experiencing real social events again.
My guy! Very well put 🙌
Thank you for this video! I am glad I found someone who really understands an introvert's perspective and give such valuable insight and advice! Would love to hear you talk more about this topic from your own experience!
Great vedio 🎉
This is awesome . Literally saw the 1st part like last week!! Shoutout to you saying “charisma” !
Great tips Calum. Thank you for the advice. Enjoy your day brother 👊🏻
Thank you sir!
I think the reason for the anxiety gap increases with the increase in isolation. This is because our mind before isolation was well aware of the environment in which it lives, and this helps it to feel in control and confident and that everything is fine. Still, after isolation for a long time, the percentage of uncertainty is high. The percentage of the unknown is higher than the known rate, and this creates a sense of danger and makes our minds activate the protection system that creates barriers and prevents us from doing anything unknown. The rate of inaccuracy is high, such as the fear of sleeping in a dark room when we were young, and this is an instinctive thing. We can overcome it as we overcame the fear of Sleeping in the dark by the mentality of discovering danger, which is an important thing. Instinctively, when we feel danger, we prefer not to look, isolate and move away. Still, the conscious and correct behaviour is to explore the danger and know its truth, which helps to eliminate it or develop behaviours to deal with it.
Thanks for the video man helped me a lot.
Hey Calum, thank you so kuch for the video! Watched this after part 1, and to be honest, I kinda knew most of these tips, but never applied them.
I'm introverted too, and up until some years ago I was really anxious when it came to socializing. I'd get anxious when meeting new people, super nervous when I find a girl I like (or girls in general) and some times even got anxious just by going out to buy something or meeting a friend after a long time.
Thankfully I've made good progress this last 4 years. I graduated high school and went to college, I was dead nervous at first but in little time and by showing up every day I ended up making friends (some of them are girls), I was more charismatic as you say, and overall had a great time. The romantic part still terrifies me, and I have no skill in that either, but I'm trying my best to get better at it.
Lately I'm not having a good time. I don't have a job, I abandoned all my hobbies during the year, and I don't know if I'll end up taking action on any of my projects. I actually got in sort of a date with a girl I like, but fear and anxiety ate me up inside and I ended up making zero moves, I felt super awkward and boring the whole time. Don't wanna tell my whole life story but basically we've met for a couple months now and I think she might like me, but I struggled so much with showing intention and flirting that I pretty much gave up any chance with her, at this rate she probably only thinks I'm just being friendly.
This is why it blew my mind when you started talking about social warmup and reminding of times where I was being really charismatic and talking with many people, because I recalled that I because I was taking care of myself, pursuing goals and talking to many people, I felt incredible. You reminded me of my capabilities and that being social is relative to how much you put yourself out there and practice.
I wasn't feeling good with myself these days, but watching this video gave me life again, suddenly I feel everything's possible again. Thank you so much Calum. Greetings from Argentina! Merry Christmas too!
Good luck brother!
My problem is that I don’t know what to talk about anymore, thanks to Covid
best relatable video i have ever seen thanks calum love from india
Glad you enjoyed!
Thanks for the tips, but I hate how we have to consciously put in effort. I remember when I was a kid at school, socialising was effortless, I didn't think about it, it just happened naturally. I wish it was like this as an adult
I see big improvement since the last video you made it
Great video, I’m glad you mentioned therapy! It’s so understated but if you’re mental health is off then I think people are going to sense that
Yeah I think therapy is vital for most people. Even if their mental health is good, it can be so important for improving it.
You should make a video of urself warming up with people
That would be lit
do you have any tips on being approachable because i don't want to have to approach all the time, i want to feel like the other person WANTS to speak to me too if that makes sense
Yes. Dress well, be in shape and presentable. Smile, make eye contact. Be warm towards others :)
This is very informative!!
Have you heard about “DARE” By Barry McDanogh?
I haven't heard of it but just looked it up and seems really cool!
@@calumx I asked because it reminds me a lot of what you talked about, though I’ve only seen a few I think your videos are awesome!
@@JazminRosita Thank you 🙏
ƤＲＯ𝓂Ｏ𝕤ᗰ 😑