my boyfriend often pays for everything, he has never asked me to pay anything, sometimes i'm afraid to ask if i should as his self confidence may go down, I know he likes to try and provide. Have fun with your friends :)
Yes, Alice you have a point there along with the others. Yes, I believe it could be cultural values here where the Chinese guy is paying for it all, but I would strongly suggest the female knows what she's getting into or at the very least have him confess what he's up to. If she's not good with the situation, STOP!! STOP!! If so, then she should ENJOY her Chinese Male Partner covering her Financially, or maybe ENJOY him too. This is just a suggestion, I can't see every corner or situation.
Yes, normally Chinese men like to pay everything if he earns more than his girlfriend. But if his girlfriend pays something as well I believe that guy will appreciate it.
when I was in college, I graduated before my gf so once I started working, I always paid. Once she graduated, we alternated in paying and she offered more to try to make up. I told her I didn't care for her to pay me back. It was more about our ability and intent. Money shouldn't be a major concern. IMO
In my opinion and my experiences I felt really embarrassed when that happened. Somehow this issue is quite common also where I live. I usually try to be honest from the beginning, especially if the guy I'm dating has more economic possibilities than me. When there is not that much of confidence, it's harder to establish some limits. Personally, I would never go on a trip completely paid by the guy I'm seeing as much as I would never accept that someone pays for my dinner just because he "has to". There is a difference between paying dinner because you want to be kind after you invited someone out and saying because you're the man and that's what you do. It's even bad for guys, it's kind of a useless pressure they have to go through as much as we do. I think as long as the couple talks straight about money and their economi situation, it can be figured out if there's consent from every part. I think nothing has to be taken for granted where it comes to international relationships :)
+Le Flunox yep the fully paid trip is too much for me too and I could feel that my colleague also wasn't sure about going and what to pay. Apparently the guy was very persistent. I think it very much depends on each individuals economic situation as well. Anyways, whatever works for ppl you know 😍
I am an American who has been dating a Chinese guy for three years. In the beginning of our relationship, I didn't realize the Chinese tradition of men paying for everything was actually true, so I offered to pay my portion of the bill at a restaurant, or pay half and half for movie tickets, we were both students when we met, so we had no money. He allowed me to pay my half at first, but as our relationship went on, he didn't want me to pay, and always would just whip out his credit card or WeChat to pay. In some ways, I feel guilty, but also I think if it is part of their tradition, it is important to respect that. I am not saying that I will not offer to pay for anything. If I am shopping or buying something purely for me, I will pay for it myself, usually if he or other people are involved he will pay for us.
Cheryl Crews If you pay properly, your boyfriend will not think you are covet his property, so he will feel more comfortable for you, just like his family.
For us, as a friend its either you pay or I pay otherwise..if we are short..than we pool it together beforehand..but me after coming to India..I started adapting their style of contributing personal share for everything but still with friends its a different thing..I do it today, you may do it next time
Lingling a well presented video on this topic 😌 Yes I think you need a co presenter in these AMWF talks as to allow you time to breathe . I saw your passion for this topic ever since your first video on this subject with that being said you sometimes forget to stop and breathe while presenting the topic having another person in the video will help greatly 😬 Zaijian for now Lingling
Asian man here. It's common in other asian countries and even in the west for asian men to pick up the tabs on dates. If you want to pay or split the bill, talk first to your date before going and tell him that it is wrong in your culture if he pays for everything. Or tell him you will not go on a date with him ever again if he dare pay behind your back. He would definitely respect your request. When you said that you wanted to pay for half or split the bill, I understand why Chinese men are attracted to western women since they have been expected to pay for everything on dates with asian women all their lives. Now, it feels more like love than like an ATM. In a few cases, that custom has been abuse like the girl invited all her female friends or group of people that were invited so they do not expect to pay resulting in the one guy paying for entire group. Asian males see dating as prospect to marriage. So, if you invite him on a date and if he shows up, it means he is interested in you since he is willing to pick up the tab. These small tabs are okay and he do not expect compensation. Now, as you said in your other video, the Chinese man must have a home, car, and good job before a Chinese woman would consider marrying them. So when your date mention he'll buy an apartment, he is saying he is stable enough to marry. Your friend who has a date that is willing to pay for everything. That guy is filthy rich and is seeing her as a potential mate. Once you guys are married, it is okay to have your spouse pay for everything. You are his wife and his family, he'll take care of you like he would with his children and would not demand compensation.
I am one of the type guy from mainland, but I guess it is really depending on individual 's financial state, and age. 10 years ago when I was student, I would pay for all the normal bills, but share with big bills. But nowadays, I would happy to pay for all if meet the right person. Guess if the the relationship does not go as expected, it happens sometimes, The spending is just within the budget I guess. But I would happy if the lady keen to share half.
If a Chinese man does not try his best to pay for me, it makes me question if he is a good Chinese man. What kind of a Chinese man allows a girl to pay except for some things? Everyone in China knows the man should pay, so if the man chooses not to pay I feel there must be something wrong. If he likes me he would pay for me. In the West I split the bill, as it is normal, but in China that is not normal.
I am chinese, when I went out with my girlfriend I payed all most everything, but I also hope she could pay something for me, and she did, I was happy with that, it's not about the money but her actitud in the relationship. I think boys should let her gf pay something.
Who should pay the bill in general is a huge fuss for Chinese people. Ever been to restaurants where the friends/relatives push and pull trying to pay for the bill? Stuff like this is embarrassing. So you can see why it's also a big deal to pay for the girl. As for who pays the bill, I think this is a general dating problem. This is usually the most awkward thing during first dates. Me, I offer to pay the first date, but if she disagrees, I wouldn't force the issue. I don't think the girl should feel bad though. The guy is rich. Even if they don't work out, I doubt he'll miss the money. If he was an average joe, I can understand. Money also shouldn't be used as a form of guilt on the other party. Like if I treat a girl on the first date, that doesn't guarantee that it would work out. I have no regrets.
Its normal for Chinese man to pay everything. It proves he is capable if providing 3 meals a day for his future family. A man whether he is western and can't pay all ,is not worth his salt, not worth your time and therefore he is worthless.
Watching your videos already seams like talking to a very good friend. Hmm... to the topic, I have zero experience, but I think thatI would definitely want to pay aswell. You know, here in germany its expected to split the bill. Maybe yes, if someone invites you they might pay but usually you dont pay for others haha
With us, splitting is considered a miserly way....but it's all about culture. What we normally do is, I have pay for this, the other pay for that..or if you don't..you do it next time...all done without saying..because its known!
lingling :) you are grown up to be a consultant getting known through vlog from beginning to now since your staying in china that you ve been learning the all the issues even related to deuch pay before marriage. i will pay you consultant fee for your solution on my inquiry. so would you be more patient with me ??? :) cheapest question but hope for luxury answer as much as you could get on ~~
in indonesia the guy paid everything... i dont know about india or japan or arabs... in indonesia you can buy a house with 2 names in the certificate of your home / house / apartment. so 1 party cant sell the house without an agreement of another party. unless 1 party already dead.. and this will be complicated.. because you will ask an agreement of their family to sell the house.
In China, boyfriend has to pay everything, TRUE. But according to everyone this is what we Chinese learned from western. In ancient China, not such GF/BF thing or game. No matter boys or girls you get married follow parents' order, you marry whoever they want not you want. No such love game rules in traditional Chinese culture. All love game rules are from western, maybe not modern western but they are from western.
Not true. I studied ancient Chinese history/culture. These rules/norms came from China. Do you know that Valentine's Day is a modern concept in the west but existed in China for 4,000 years? 7th day of 7th lunar month when the cowherd meets up with the weaver fairy is one of the ancient Chinese valentine's day. Another is the mooncake festival. Unknown to many ignoramus, many things that were invented by China are mistaken as invented in the west. Another example is ice-cream, a Chinese invention that happened some 3,000 years ago. Sushi? Not a Japanese creation but was first created in China.
zz44ppppp No even as a western male I think that this topic is well needed and would benefit western females looking to get into relationships or are in relationships with asian males. I have yet to see one of Lingling’s AMWF that I could not learn from one way or another. I imagine that for western females it is a very informative video as well a series that they will benefit vastly from.
In China, boyfriend has to pay everything, yes it is true. According to everyone this is what we Chinese learned from western. In ancient China, not such GF/BF thing or game. No matter boys or girls you get married follow parents' order, you marry whoever they want not you want.
my boyfriend often pays for everything, he has never asked me to pay anything, sometimes i'm afraid to ask if i should as his self confidence may go down, I know he likes to try and provide. Have fun with your friends :)
If he would pay for EVERYTHING I would be scared of how he would expect me to act like in return....
AliceTheHetalian Yes I can see where that idea would come up. Asian males paying for everything is a cultural idea there IMHO.
AliceTheHetalian its way of proving of being highly responsible. Better than worrying where to get your next meals when you are married.
Yes, Alice you have a point there along with the others. Yes, I believe it could be cultural values here where the Chinese guy is paying for it all, but I would strongly suggest the female knows what she's getting into or at the very least have him confess what he's up to. If she's not good with the situation, STOP!! STOP!! If so, then she should ENJOY her Chinese Male Partner covering her Financially, or maybe ENJOY him too. This is just a suggestion, I can't see every corner or situation.
Yes, normally Chinese men like to pay everything if he earns more than his girlfriend. But if his girlfriend pays something as well I believe that guy will appreciate it.
when I was in college, I graduated before my gf so once I started working, I always paid. Once she graduated, we alternated in paying and she offered more to try to make up. I told her I didn't care for her to pay me back. It was more about our ability and intent. Money shouldn't be a major concern. IMO
Hahaaa laughing my butt off at your reference, 1:38. Well done talking about this topic. I enjoy your videos with or without co-pilot equally!! ;)
+Ni Hao Matilda happy it made sense to someone. Sometimes I'm sure it only makes sense in my own head lol 😂😂
9540880861 you hii
From my point of view, I would worry about feeling in debt to the person, especially since they just met.
I have a Chinese boyfriend and he always the one who pays for everything even if I try to pay he will just told me to save my money for myself
In my opinion and my experiences I felt really embarrassed when that happened. Somehow this issue is quite common also where I live. I usually try to be honest from the beginning, especially if the guy I'm dating has more economic possibilities than me. When there is not that much of confidence, it's harder to establish some limits. Personally, I would never go on a trip completely paid by the guy I'm seeing as much as I would never accept that someone pays for my dinner just because he "has to". There is a difference between paying dinner because you want to be kind after you invited someone out and saying because you're the man and that's what you do. It's even bad for guys, it's kind of a useless pressure they have to go through as much as we do. I think as long as the couple talks straight about money and their economi situation, it can be figured out if there's consent from every part. I think nothing has to be taken for granted where it comes to international relationships :)
+Le Flunox yep the fully paid trip is too much for me too and I could feel that my colleague also wasn't sure about going and what to pay. Apparently the guy was very persistent. I think it very much depends on each individuals economic situation as well. Anyways, whatever works for ppl you know 😍
Le Flunox Mahatma number de de raha hoon call me
I am an American who has been dating a Chinese guy for three years. In the beginning of our relationship, I didn't realize the Chinese tradition of men paying for everything was actually true, so I offered to pay my portion of the bill at a restaurant, or pay half and half for movie tickets, we were both students when we met, so we had no money. He allowed me to pay my half at first, but as our relationship went on, he didn't want me to pay, and always would just whip out his credit card or WeChat to pay. In some ways, I feel guilty, but also I think if it is part of their tradition, it is important to respect that. I am not saying that I will not offer to pay for anything. If I am shopping or buying something purely for me, I will pay for it myself, usually if he or other people are involved he will pay for us.
Cheryl Crews
If you pay properly, your boyfriend will not think you are covet his property, so he will feel more comfortable for you, just like his family.
For us, as a friend its either you pay or I pay otherwise..if we are short..than we pool it together beforehand..but me after coming to India..I started adapting their style of contributing personal share for everything but still with friends its a different thing..I do it today, you may do it next time
Lingling a well presented video on this topic 😌
Yes I think you need a co presenter in these AMWF talks as to allow you time to breathe . I saw your passion for this topic ever since your first video on this subject with that being said you sometimes forget to stop and breathe while presenting the topic having another person in the video will help greatly 😬
Zaijian for now Lingling
Asian man here. It's common in other asian countries and even in the west for asian men to pick up the tabs on dates. If you want to pay or split the bill, talk first to your date before going and tell him that it is wrong in your culture if he pays for everything. Or tell him you will not go on a date with him ever again if he dare pay behind your back. He would definitely respect your request.
When you said that you wanted to pay for half or split the bill, I understand why Chinese men are attracted to western women since they have been expected to pay for everything on dates with asian women all their lives. Now, it feels more like love than like an ATM. In a few cases, that custom has been abuse like the girl invited all her female friends or group of people that were invited so they do not expect to pay resulting in the one guy paying for entire group.
Asian males see dating as prospect to marriage. So, if you invite him on a date and if he shows up, it means he is interested in you since he is willing to pick up the tab. These small tabs are okay and he do not expect compensation.
Now, as you said in your other video, the Chinese man must have a home, car, and good job before a Chinese woman would consider marrying them. So when your date mention he'll buy an apartment, he is saying he is stable enough to marry.
Your friend who has a date that is willing to pay for everything. That guy is filthy rich and is seeing her as a potential mate.
Once you guys are married, it is okay to have your spouse pay for everything. You are his wife and his family, he'll take care of you like he would with his children and would not demand compensation.
I am one of the type guy from mainland, but I guess it is really depending on individual 's financial state, and age. 10 years ago when I was student, I would pay for all the normal bills, but share with big bills. But nowadays, I would happy to pay for all if meet the right person. Guess if the the relationship does not go as expected, it happens sometimes,
The spending is just within the budget I guess. But I would happy if the lady keen to share half.
If a Chinese man does not try his best to pay for me, it makes me question if he is a good Chinese man. What kind of a Chinese man allows a girl to pay except for some things? Everyone in China knows the man should pay, so if the man chooses not to pay I feel there must be something wrong. If he likes me he would pay for me. In the West I split the bill, as it is normal, but in China that is not normal.
Kirstie Waugh If he can't pay, it proves he is not capable providing 3 meals a day to his future family.
in short, YES!
Yay a new upload from Lingling ☺️
I am chinese, when I went out with my girlfriend I payed all most everything, but I also hope she could pay something for me, and she did, I was happy with that, it's not about the money but her actitud in the relationship.
I think boys should let her gf pay something.
+ENCHONG LIU that sounds like a very equal relationship. It's all about making it work for both 😀
if he can afford and offered to pay, then yes. If both are students I will say pay equally.
Who should pay the bill in general is a huge fuss for Chinese people. Ever been to restaurants where the friends/relatives push and pull trying to pay for the bill? Stuff like this is embarrassing. So you can see why it's also a big deal to pay for the girl.
As for who pays the bill, I think this is a general dating problem. This is usually the most awkward thing during first dates. Me, I offer to pay the first date, but if she disagrees, I wouldn't force the issue.
I don't think the girl should feel bad though. The guy is rich. Even if they don't work out, I doubt he'll miss the money. If he was an average joe, I can understand. Money also shouldn't be used as a form of guilt on the other party. Like if I treat a girl on the first date, that doesn't guarantee that it would work out. I have no regrets.
Very goode welcom a morocco
我觉得我们中国人谈恋爱就是奔着结婚的方向去的，做为一个男人我觉得最能证明你喜欢或者爱你的恋爱对象就是让她高兴，在确保对方是一个好女孩儿的前提下，我觉得男人在自己经济条件允许的情况下应该买单。现在大家恋爱都怕受到伤害，但是如果老是怕受伤害而不敢全心去爱 那样的爱情会是爱情吗？
lei zhang 你就是斯德哥尔摩症候群患者，钢铁直男，活该
@@honeybadgerdavid663 愚蠢
@@奮鬥 傻逼
My parent told me I am responsible for everything and I agreed.
Its normal for Chinese man to pay everything. It proves he is capable if providing 3 meals a day for his future family. A man whether he is western and can't pay all ,is not worth his salt, not worth your time and therefore he is worthless.
money is transient. you can be rich and poor in various stages of your life. families, memories and friends can be forever and worthwhile.
Watching your videos already seams like talking to a very good friend. Hmm... to the topic, I have zero experience, but I think thatI would definitely want to pay aswell. You know, here in germany its expected to split the bill. Maybe yes, if someone invites you they might pay but usually you dont pay for others haha
With us, splitting is considered a miserly way....but it's all about culture. What we normally do is, I have pay for this, the other pay for that..or if you don't..you do it next time...all done without saying..because its known!
I prefer to going Dutch, cuz I’m not flush with money. That doesn’t mean I’m stingy¡
+Yunlong Jiang I think that's perfectly fair :) easier like that. Then no one owes anyone anything
Yeah.. it’s true I paid everything when dating with a Japanese girl, she prefers AA but I still insist
lingling, I want to put your video on China media. Are you interested in it? I also want to put subtitles on.
lingling :) you are grown up to be a consultant getting known through vlog from beginning to now since your staying in china that you ve been learning the all the issues even related to deuch pay before marriage. i will pay you consultant fee for your solution on my inquiry. so would you be more patient with me ??? :) cheapest question but hope for luxury answer as much as you could get on ~~
in indonesia the guy paid everything... i dont know about india or japan or arabs... in indonesia you can buy a house with 2 names in the certificate of your home / house / apartment. so 1 party cant sell the house without an agreement of another party. unless 1 party already dead.. and this will be complicated.. because you will ask an agreement of their family to sell the house.
why don't you discuss other parts of live in China? is there a reason you only talk about relationship issues?
+Haron Clement I discuss this topic once a week and other Chinese topics twice every week
I'm chinese and BIG NO to 50:50
HOW TO DATE WITH YOU
In China, boyfriend has to pay everything, TRUE. But according to everyone this is what we Chinese learned from western. In ancient China, not such GF/BF thing or game. No matter boys or girls you get married follow parents' order, you marry whoever they want not you want. No such love game rules in traditional Chinese culture. All love game rules are from western, maybe not modern western but they are from western.
Not true. I studied ancient Chinese history/culture. These rules/norms came from China. Do you know that Valentine's Day is a modern concept in the west but existed in China for 4,000 years? 7th day of 7th lunar month when the cowherd meets up with the weaver fairy is one of the ancient Chinese valentine's day. Another is the mooncake festival.
Unknown to many ignoramus, many things that were invented by China are mistaken as invented in the west. Another example is ice-cream, a Chinese invention that happened some 3,000 years ago. Sushi? Not a Japanese creation but was first created in China.
You have done the AMWF topic to death
zz44ppppp lol
zz44ppppp No even as a western male I think that this topic is well needed and would benefit western females looking to get into relationships or are in relationships with asian males.
I have yet to see one of Lingling’s AMWF that I could not learn from one way or another. I imagine that for western females it is a very informative video as well a series that they will benefit vastly from.
Most aians do pay for her gf or friend.....here in Philippines same
is this girl European? Why does the guy think he has to pay everything?
Robert Sarno Yes Lingling is from Denmark . Asian males have been taught to pay for everything in a relationship from a early age.
i meant the girl in the story she's telling.
Robert Sarno she said at the beginning of the video ”my Chinese girlfriend”
In China, boyfriend has to pay everything, yes it is true. According to everyone this is what we Chinese learned from western. In ancient China, not such GF/BF thing or game. No matter boys or girls you get married follow parents' order, you marry whoever they want not you want.
thats not just in china... in indonesia guy pay for everything.. unless both the guy and the girl are very poor..
Lena your face is blue this time.
钱上交饭照做没事还要跪搓衣板中国男人好苦(✪▽✪
李潇宇 这就是我要找白人女孩的原因
后悔结婚早了、要不然就去追你丶呵呵
+何荣 不行，你先回家好好照顾老婆吧 😂😂
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