Yes. 💯percent. Double standards, judgement, gas lighting, and fakeness.” A few certain people especially.” My cousin is famous. Straight up. And because of it, I’m unfairly compared to him on everything. Even though I grew up codependent with little resources, they grew up with abundance, support, a group, things like that. They all fix each other’s problems, but me... I have to do it the American way. On my own.”
Támara, you are always on point and on time! I had to go no-contact with my NPD "father" and psychopathic "mother" -- just to survive. They can and will never accept responsibility. Some people are incapable of change; they are just neurologically and emotionally deficient, in a constitutionally grave and profound manner. Some people are just evil. Thank you for all that you do to validate us trauma survivors -- and to help us stay on course. God bless you!
Thank you! I'm so glad this was helpful to you. No one ever wants to go "no-contact" with their parent. It's painful. But it's also the only way to peace of mind sometimes. Praying for your peace on this journey. God bless you too! Thank you!
Shoot how did I miss this?! Didn’t see it I guess. I hit a notification for an upcoming video from you, and I decided to watch your latest one from this weekend. Now I see this, thank you. I appreciate all you do for us. You’re appreciated and needed. 100%
😂😊You're welcome! I'm sorry you missed it. I didn't get a notification either which I should as an "influencer." It's youtube for ya! And thanks so much for that.🤗 I'm always happen to work with all of you and provide support here!
I refused to betray myself and my integrity and authenticity. Totally generational sin . My sons I believe are 4th generation of a WW1 Nazi soldier great grandfather. It’s so important to know and look at our heritage.
This video is absolutely a piece of me. Story of my life, one of the best videos I’ve watched on TH-cam. I feel like so many people will identify! Most my life I felt like an outsider and like something was wrong with me, and guilt is also a feeling I feel all the time. Only recently I came to the realisations that perhaps it’s not me, I just been made to feel this way. I am changing and thank god our society is waking up for the gaslighting and manipulation that exists in families and makes people literally depressed and sick. Thank you!!!!
Thank you so much for that!! I'm glad this was helpful to you. I'll be talking more about this in the coming months. And I"m sorry you have had to experience this dynamic. It's an unhealthy and frustrating dynamic.
This video is a gift. As a child of a narcisstic mother and a complusive gambler father the information about polarized thinking and splitting was on point. I grew up thinking that these people (my parents) don't understand me. How I'm sure that they didn't, more importantly what was happening. Thank you.
Hi Tamara! Thank you for the video. I met with my counselor today and coincidentally we touched on this very topic of how my family has robbed me on my true self. That my authentic self I keep hidden and my true self in unknown. My homework for the next couple of weeks is to reflect on 3 questions: 1. Who do I want to be? 2. What intrusive thoughts stir my anxiety? 3. What does unconditional love look like to me? Also, I recently read a book titled, ON DISINFORMATION : HOW TO FIGHT FOR TRUTH AND PROTECT DEMOCRACY I couldn’t help but compare how propaganda is spread to how narcissistic smear campaigns work. Another thing the author pointed out is misinformation is not intentional, it’s the disinformation that is crafted to cause doubt and confusion. Disinformation is a complete fabrication. “The goal of disinformation is not just to get you to question some particular fact about a piece of reality that clashes with the dis-informers interests, but to erode your trust in the “truth tellers”…”
That is FANTASTIC! Wow. What a sign that you are on the right path perhaps? And I love your "homework." Sounds like you are in good hands and are moving through treatment well. Thank you for sharing this title too. I will definitely look into this!
Thank you for another helpful informative, and insightful video. Your channel is one of my favorites among others that really helps us understand and heal things in our lives
Thank you so much for your videos!!! I had to go no contact with my family because everybody quick to judge and hate to see you doing well. I feel so much better without all the drama and jealousy!!!😊
You're welcome!! Sounds like they are helpful! If a family truly is jealous and very high conflict, it can feel almost impossible to create healthy boundaries and to get your family to respect them.
My great grandmother was holding a Bible. She said to me, I wish your mother never had you kids. Her son, my great uncle, and my great aunt, said the same thing on separate instances. My grandmother, labeled us her half white half black grand children. I know seeds were planted in the minds of the family members. And that's what I see. Generational and Transgenerational trauma are my life experiences and could be a strength. I posted a picture on Facebook of me and my mother 2018 that got a lot of likes. She called me in a rage telling me to take that picture down. The point is I was there for her when she needed someone and nobody else was. I can look at the patterns in my mother's family and I see why my father didn't fret over her.
And it's really hard to dwell on how many years, maybe even decades, you've lost because you were browbeaten into trusting people who, even though related to you, did not have your best interests at heart and at the end of the day were just using you for narcissistic supply. Feeling as if that's especially challenging in a Black or other majority minority family since "respect" is interpreted to mean "never say anything bad about parents, even though they're behaving like holy terrors TO THEIR OWN CHILDREN".
Hi my Name is Cathy. I been watching your channel for a few weeks now. My family can be so toxic at times. I'am the last born of 8 which makes me the youngest. With me being the youngest my older brothers and sisters can be over bearing and controlling and it drives me crazy!!! Certain family members only communicate with certain ones who they can relate and I just wish we all can get along without all this toxicity . Love your channel ❤ I also subscribe 😊😊😊
Thank you so much! ❤ And welcome to the channel. Glad to have you aboard. I can certainly understand your family dynamic. I have so many clients now who are living in a dynamic that doesn't allow them to ssee who they really are because of the behaviors of those around them. I don't blame you for feeling as you do. It's so much easier said than done.
Hey it’s Peggy from Canada is back . I have a ❤ pkg to send to you our gift from Him as we journey on this topic . I could share so much with you ! I have been kicked out of the family home , no $ disclosure and much $ of an airline pilot . Lawyers have also been so corrupt and judges. It’s only God leading me step by step and I know Justice will not come from anyone but God who can work with truth .🙏
Welcome back Peggy. Good to "see" you. I'm so sorry to hear this, however. And I'm so sorry that you've been through this but I'm glad you're on the right path to healing. It's so important to have faith and truly ask God, in all humility (as I have learned in my life) "where do I go from here?" Praying you find peace on this journey. Hang in there.
Aren't they nice? Such lovely people..I have read the sentence "Act like you didnt know them, cause in reality you didnt"...Who needs people who play criminal (mind) Games with you
They've been very cold for a long time. They've taken everything I should have ever received and have everyone leaving lies that never actually took place all sorts of them. This world is like a damn zombie zoo.
And to top it all off I have real spiritual abilities that God must have given me to prove that they've been lying. Which is one of the reasons that they all keep trying to frame me and hurt me. Because I've been on the upside of evolution ever since I was a baby. And they were aware of that and they were using that to their advantage to feed.
We all suffer from a case of mistaken Identity by the hands of society. You could be on the brink of perfection but NOPE! Here comes society smearing mud on your white Air Force Ones. It's ok though. We're learning to buy steel toe boots.
My family ties are mostly all past. I do for my own reasons have a strong opinion that reincarnation for instance is true. At least it's true in my perception. So personal growth is a very high priority . Success is to me a bit fluid . Or at least I'm trying to keep my opinions fluid. They are just working models after all. Man that's tough to do. And family was and is part of everyone's stage for all kinds of interactions . We are separate beings who are developing . Life isn't for the faint of heart.
Yes. 💯percent. Double standards, judgement, gas lighting, and fakeness.” A few certain people especially.” My cousin is famous. Straight up. And because of it, I’m unfairly compared to him on everything. Even though I grew up codependent with little resources, they grew up with abundance, support, a group, things like that. They all fix each other’s problems, but me... I have to do it the American way. On my own.”
Double-standards are unnecessarily complicated in toxic families. It's a complicated dynamic.
Támara, you are always on point and on time! I had to go no-contact with my NPD "father" and psychopathic "mother" -- just to survive. They can and will never accept responsibility. Some people are incapable of change; they are just neurologically and emotionally deficient, in a constitutionally grave and profound manner. Some people are just evil. Thank you for all that you do to validate us trauma survivors -- and to help us stay on course. God bless you!
Thank you! I'm so glad this was helpful to you.
No one ever wants to go "no-contact" with their parent. It's painful. But it's also the only way to peace of mind sometimes.
Praying for your peace on this journey.
God bless you too! Thank you!
Shoot how did I miss this?! Didn’t see it I guess. I hit a notification for an upcoming video from you, and I decided to watch your latest one from this weekend. Now I see this, thank you. I appreciate all you do for us. You’re appreciated and needed. 100%
😂😊You're welcome! I'm sorry you missed it. I didn't get a notification either which I should as an "influencer." It's youtube for ya!
And thanks so much for that.🤗 I'm always happen to work with all of you and provide support here!
I refused to betray myself and my integrity and authenticity.
Totally generational sin .
My sons I believe are 4th generation of a WW1 Nazi soldier great grandfather.
It’s so important to know and look at our heritage.
Heritage is truly important. I agree.
Thank you so much for this wonderful video, Tamara! Just what I needed to hear today!
You're welcome! Glad it was helpful and met you where you are right now. 😊 And thank you!
This video is absolutely a piece of me. Story of my life, one of the best videos I’ve watched on TH-cam. I feel like so many people will identify! Most my life I felt like an outsider and like something was wrong with me, and guilt is also a feeling I feel all the time. Only recently I came to the realisations that perhaps it’s not me, I just been made to feel this way. I am changing and thank god our society is waking up for the gaslighting and manipulation that exists in families and makes people literally depressed and sick. Thank you!!!!
Thank you so much for that!! I'm glad this was helpful to you. I'll be talking more about this in the coming months. And I"m sorry you have had to experience this dynamic. It's an unhealthy and frustrating dynamic.
This video is a gift. As a child of a narcisstic mother and a complusive gambler father the information about polarized thinking and splitting was on point. I grew up thinking that these people (my parents) don't understand me. How I'm sure that they didn't, more importantly what was happening. Thank you.
You're welcome!! So glad this is helpful. And thank you.
Hi Tamara!
Thank you for the video.
I met with my counselor today and coincidentally we touched on this very topic of how my family has robbed me on my true self. That my authentic self I keep hidden and my true self in unknown.
My homework for the next couple of weeks is to reflect on 3 questions:
1. Who do I want to be?
2. What intrusive thoughts stir my anxiety?
3. What does unconditional love look like to me?
Also, I recently read a book titled, ON DISINFORMATION : HOW TO FIGHT FOR TRUTH AND PROTECT DEMOCRACY
I couldn’t help but compare how propaganda is spread to how narcissistic smear campaigns work. Another thing the author pointed out is misinformation is not intentional, it’s the disinformation that is crafted to cause doubt and confusion.
Disinformation is a complete fabrication.
“The goal of disinformation is not just to get you to question some particular fact about a piece of reality that clashes with the dis-informers interests, but to erode your trust in the “truth tellers”…”
That is FANTASTIC! Wow. What a sign that you are on the right path perhaps? And I love your "homework." Sounds like you are in good hands and are moving through treatment well. Thank you for sharing this title too. I will definitely look into this!
Thank you for another helpful informative, and insightful video. Your channel is one of my favorites among others that really helps us understand and heal things in our lives
So nice of you! Thank you. I'm glad to hear that!
Thank you so much for your videos!!! I had to go no contact with my family because everybody quick to judge and hate to see you doing well. I feel so much better without all the drama and jealousy!!!😊
You're welcome!! Sounds like they are helpful!
If a family truly is jealous and very high conflict, it can feel almost impossible to create healthy boundaries and to get your family to respect them.
That was awesome ☺️🤙🏻💯
Thanks 😁Glad this was helpful.
My great grandmother was holding a Bible. She said to me, I wish your mother never had you kids. Her son, my great uncle, and my great aunt, said the same thing on separate instances. My grandmother, labeled us her half white half black grand children. I know seeds were planted in the minds of the family members. And that's what I see. Generational and Transgenerational trauma are my life experiences and could be a strength. I posted a picture on Facebook of me and my mother 2018 that got a lot of likes. She called me in a rage telling me to take that picture down. The point is I was there for her when she needed someone and nobody else was. I can look at the patterns in my mother's family and I see why my father didn't fret over her.
Thank you for this one
My pleasure! Thanks for watching!
I definitely needed this tonight! Thanks Tamara! 😊
You are so welcome! Glad this was helpful to you. Thanks for watching too.
Mistaken identity is such a great song topic
It takes real time to actually know someone.
And it's really hard to dwell on how many years, maybe even decades, you've lost because you were browbeaten into trusting people who, even though related to you, did not have your best interests at heart and at the end of the day were just using you for narcissistic supply. Feeling as if that's especially challenging in a Black or other majority minority family since "respect" is interpreted to mean "never say anything bad about parents, even though they're behaving like holy terrors TO THEIR OWN CHILDREN".
Hi my Name is Cathy. I been watching your channel for a few weeks now. My family can be so toxic at times. I'am the last born of 8 which makes me the youngest. With me being the youngest my older brothers and sisters can be over bearing and controlling and it drives me crazy!!! Certain family members only communicate with certain ones who they can relate and I just wish we all can get along without all this toxicity . Love your channel ❤ I also subscribe 😊😊😊
Thank you so much! ❤ And welcome to the channel. Glad to have you aboard.
I can certainly understand your family dynamic. I have so many clients now who are living in a dynamic that doesn't allow them to ssee who they really are because of the behaviors of those around them. I don't blame you for feeling as you do. It's so much easier said than done.
I’m not mislabeled. I’m the black sheep and scapegoat.
Hey it’s Peggy from Canada is back . I have a ❤ pkg to send to you our gift from Him as we journey on this topic .
I could share so much with you !
I have been kicked out of the family home , no $ disclosure and much $ of an airline pilot .
Lawyers have also been so corrupt and judges. It’s only God leading me step by step and I know Justice will not come from anyone but God who can work with truth .🙏
Welcome back Peggy. Good to "see" you. I'm so sorry to hear this, however.
And I'm so sorry that you've been through this but I'm glad you're on the right path to healing. It's so important to have faith and truly ask God, in all humility (as I have learned in my life) "where do I go from here?" Praying you find peace on this journey. Hang in there.
Thanks!
Welcome! And thank you for the super chat!
Aren't they nice? Such lovely people..I have read the sentence "Act like you didnt know them, cause in reality you didnt"...Who needs people who play criminal (mind) Games with you
That's true. I agree. Mind-games are a waste of time.
👍
My BFF and I were just talking about this. Thanks A lot for the info 🧘🏽♀️
Glad it was helpful! You're welcome.
❤❤❤thank you lovely!! So close yo home.
I'm so glad this resonates with you! And I thought of you today as I was putting this together.
Resonates
How are we going to help them find the truth ??? And get set free….
It’s painful because you can’t change how others think and you wouldn’t want to because they do not care, if they did this wouldn’t be an issue.
Here's To The Study Of You ♡ To Past Present & Future You Too
Jesus saved me 💗
They've been very cold for a long time. They've taken everything I should have ever received and have everyone leaving lies that never actually took place all sorts of them. This world is like a damn zombie zoo.
I can't find the form on the website is there a way to acess it?
And to top it all off I have real spiritual abilities that God must have given me to prove that they've been lying. Which is one of the reasons that they all keep trying to frame me and hurt me. Because I've been on the upside of evolution ever since I was a baby. And they were aware of that and they were using that to their advantage to feed.
lol yes good for catching that
Hello
Hi there!! Hope you are doing well.
We all suffer from a case of mistaken Identity by the hands of society. You could be on the brink of perfection but NOPE! Here comes society smearing mud on your white Air Force Ones. It's ok though. We're learning to buy steel toe boots.
My family ties are mostly all past. I do for my own reasons have a strong opinion that reincarnation for instance is true. At least it's true in my perception. So personal growth is a very high priority . Success is to me a bit fluid . Or at least I'm trying to keep my opinions fluid. They are just working models after all. Man that's tough to do. And family was and is part of everyone's stage for all kinds of interactions . We are separate beings who are developing . Life isn't for the faint of heart.
6:09... Hehe thanks for the confirmation. 🤍👽🙏✨
Thank you so much for sharing. grateful that your channel popped up in my feed. 🤗✨I
You are so welcome!! Glad this was helpful to you. And glad you stopped by!