Hello, can I ask something, how are your relationships with other people like friends, family, or any romantic relationships? Do you avoid them or are you close with them for a long time. I just want to know if I have this disorder and if Im having it worse. I dont feel normal at all.
@@SadBheeseChurger I have this too. I avoided all sports or anything that would be me in spotlight growing up from fear of ridicule. I am able to socialize when I drink. I did very well in high school and college because of this but started to have a problem so now I drink very little. I also had traumatic/problematic friendships/relationships that triggered my AVPD to become much worse. I am able to have romantic relationships but have trouble being vulnerable. I can only go into social settings if I feel 100% sure I will be accepted and liked which is very rare unless with family or (sometimes) my partner. It’s an overwhelming feeling of doom deep in my gut and feel like sick
I don't understand why my mom who seen me everyday as a shy kid, and then told me as an older teen that I have poor self-esteem, would not get me treatment as a kid? That is the responsibility of parents, to take care of that. All I ever got was the "you'll grow out of it" treatment.
Broken people in a broken world produce other broken people. Unless your parents were outright abusive to you, you can’t really blame them for not knowing. One thing that I can tell you is that negative self talk will not help. YOU have to take control of that. Hope things work out for you.
@@Obadiah1121 That's not right. You absolutely can blame your parents for what they did to you, regardless of whether it felt abusive or not. It's a huge part of releasing the shame we carry on our shoulders.
I don't know how old your parents were when you were a kid, but before the internet most parents had the benefit of learning about parenting from family and friends and the odd book and little else. You would hope that parenting on the whole becomes exponentially better with the internet to help but one suspects us humans will continue to see a percentage of us being terrible parents forever
I definitely have this disorder. I always explained it away as being introverted. However, the more I think about my behavior patterns over the years, this makes more sense. The problem is, it’s so bad that I avoid therapy or mental health treatment because of the fears associated with the disorder. 😩
@@Maltebyte2 Thank you for your answer. I have this disorder too. And I am feeling the same. I knew something was wrong but wasn't able to put word on it until recently when I watched a video about it.
Yeah.. it's a paradoxical and very isolating pain. Praying we'll through this though and find the help we need. If there's any in your country, online therapeutic programs or resources may help. I can only use the free ones cause I'm abysmally poor lol. Anyway, may God be with you my fren! I think that will be most of help. Regardless if you believe, He has for me at least.
Yep, which makes working tough. If you are good at what you do you'll get an offer for management, good luck with that. Tough to manage when you have 1 foot out the door before the conversation starts.
It’s great to have the internet to spread the word about Avoidant Personality Disorder. I had no idea it existed until I was in my sixties. I’ve not been diagnosed with it but have been diagnosed with severe social phobia. I think that only a career in the US Army helped me stave off avoidant because it forced me to get it front of other people and conduct training, march them around and come out of my shell in many other ways. After the military I went to a civilian doctor who quickly diagnosed me. A combination of counseling and medications has also helped. Good luck and push yourself!
I was in the Army too. But now I lack a role to play, a uniform, rank, a social structure of customs and courtesies, a mission and purpose, etc. The Army gave me a sense of identity, belonging, and value. Now, I feel like I’m back to being a loser. idk
This is me because my parents neglected me I remember being little and going to kindergarten alone crying everyday because I missed my mother ..and then in primary school some of my friends I had bullied me ..now I have AVPD to the extend that I avoid eye contact with people I don't even love myself so I don't expect that others will love me
I have this but I was raised as the only child of a very evil narcissist mother. I was isolated as a child, I wasn’t allowed to have friends, couldn’t do things like soft ball, go to camp, have or go to any type of parties. Except for when my mother had new friends or a guy. I was left to fend for myself and constantly told I should have been aborted. It was my fault her life was messed up. All my short comings and mistakes were thrown in my face. There is a lot more. But I don’t interact with people because I don’t know how. I don’t know how to just be, I’m not use to dealing with emotions so I don’t talk about myself. I prefer to be alone because it’s all I know. Interacting with ppl is what is foreign to me.
I can feel you, friend. Just replace mom with dad and you have my experience. Needed a stroke to have a changed personality and write this message. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
I really felt your pain deeply because I had a very similar life except it was my father. It wasn’t until I moved out on my own and became an adult that I started doing the hard work of learning to socialize and trust. It was incredibly hard but I knew I had to do it. Long story short, I’m married to a wonderful man and have two beautiful children now. I may not always enjoy the idea of socially interacting nd relating is sometimes difficult but I never regret it. I credit God for saving me. I prayed about it a lot but I never had any therapy.
High harm avoidance is very interesting to me because I did exactly that as a kid. I've never once broken a bone, nor do I remember experiencing any painful injury as a kid. It's weird to think that, that was a sign leading to this.
Ive been in a friendgroup that disrespected me for years up until a few months ago. However, ever since ive been alone and depressed and considering suicide. I cant take the constant discomfort
funnily enough, i find myself quite a bit in this diagnosis yet i cant think of a time i was rejected, or of a moment that could trigger these feelings. in my case, i think it was self-imposed, actually because i felt embarrassed for how i might have been hurting others
8) they may behave completely differently at home (in the circle of well-known close people) and outside. The same thing to presenting on social media....You may think about them differently if they share their personal photos with their loved ones. You may start to communicate with them based on that impression, or based on communication on social networks (where is their personal space protected and cannot be crossed any other way just by words), but you might be surprised by the reaction in the real social interaction. It does not necessarily mean that they do not like you, It means that you make them uncomfortable or stress them out by overly engaged behavior. So they probably do not like your reaction or you may intimidate them by the behavioral pattern they have previous negative experiences with.
I cried until 5th grade under any social pressure or when I got a wrong answer in front of the class. I remember going into the bathroom and punching myself, saying “stop crying.” My parents, bless their hearts, but every time I cried about anything as a kid made me feel stupid if it wasn’t a “real” problem, when I think all I really needed a hug. And I had (and still kind of do) a terrible social gauge as a kid, which made me really annoying and thus I became an outcast and got bullied for it. The problem is, this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. You avoid any situation which might make you look stupid or inadequate or socially inept, so you never learn new things. I’m even terrified right now of someone telling me, “That’s not what this disorder is, you’re stupid for thinking so, you’re a poser.” So to everyone who’s found this out about themselves and is looking for a way out, my heart goes out to you. I hope we can figure this out together.
I honestly think I’m going to cry from finding this, I’ve felt trapped my entire life, constantly going back in forth between suicidal thoughts, I thought I could never be able to live and I’d always be confused of what’s wrong, but seeing all these symptoms that I know so well being real and known makes me feel like I’m finally not alone and brings me hope.
You’re definitely not alone buddy. Hang in there. Since I left my job in January, I’ve yet to spend one total hour in the sun. As a result I’ve gained 15-20 pounds. I get invited somewhere or get a job offer, then I feel inclined to refuse because I fear having episodes I can’t control. I can only describe that as intense fears, crying, and anger which can last hours or days. Hopefully I get approved for disability for time being seeing as I’ve held two different jobs over 8 years. Then hopefully I can find the right doctors/meds and start to build myself up. It sucks trying explain this friends and family, most can’t fathom how terrible one must feel to consider killing themselves. I can honestly say I’ve cried alone, hidden in plain sight, thousands of times.
It's super fun to be this way and not have anyone to blame but myself. No abuse, no neglect. I had loving parents and I went to great schools. I'm dying a bit more moment by moment, no friends, no job, never been on a date but I can honestly say it's all my fault. How novel to have the least sexy personality disorder and the one that hardly anyone knows about because the people who suffer from it are often too shy to get help. I've resorted to no longer going to the doctor in the hopes that something will just kill me already.
Does anyone else repeatedly rehearse what they are going to say when in a social situation that you cant avoid? Example: I have a family get to gather and the night before I will rehearse my answer to questions I will probably be asked. I will go over my response numerous times adjusting the grammar and composition of the sentence until I find the "best response ".
not exact that, but im always worried to run out of topics to talk to when im with someone, so i try to jump constantly ahead in my mind during a conversation to think about what to tell next, which is super exhausting and i can also not focus on what the other is saying in that moment. this need of beeing responsible for a good conversation that doesn't run dry makes me loosing enjoy the moment.
@@motulifelikefigures1987 I used to feel that way a lot, and then I kind of just realised that they were people I just don't click with. I have some mental health issues but I don't know what exactly (or what combination) but I do tend to find that if the people I am with aren't positive and proactively engaging with me, I can feel exactly the same and want nothing more than to get away from them as much as possible. I'm old enough now to have curated a few people who bring the best out of me
I was thinking I only have social anxiety but it turns out I have this disorder. I really should seek a psychotherapist, I've done it before but only 1 session. Then,I was thinking couple of days ago that I should do some more sessions, not it is even clearer. I need to get help
I had a narcissistic, hoarder of a mother, an absent father, a sibling death, physical/emotional abuse throughout childhood, and sxual abuse in elementary school. I was also institutionalized several times, once for a year. I was isolated from friends, perpetually grounded, etc. When I turned 18, I left home and bounced around for a while, sometimes renting for a few months, sometimes couch surfing, etc. for a few years, before I decided to start traveling. So I got a backpack/tent/tarp and things, and spent the next 7-ish years living outdoors, moving around the country. During the last half of those years, I developed a significant drug addiction (although had issues with substances before), and got into a VERY abusive relationship with a very dangerous older man, and got pregnant. I got clean, and so did he, and he wanted to be involved in the child's life and my naïve ass agreed to that. He ended up living with me and using me for a place to stay, have bills covered, all the while lying and gaslighting me to the point where I didn't have confidence in my own experiences or memories. When I finally kicked him out, and my life fell apart when I realized there was a NAME to the abuse I suffered at the hands of my "mother", I started to understand how I got to where I was. My physical health was suffering, my mental health certainly was suffering, and I truly felt alone. Fast forward a few years, and I am now doing a lot better overall. However, due to the SECOND round of abuse by my child's father, I started turning inward. I no longer reached out to friends, couldn't even manage to get back to anyone reaching out to me, and having no support system around me, I shut myself off from the world, for the first time. Before, I was living in public...I had nowhere to retreat TO. I had no choice but to interact, to survive. I have recently made some steps, reconnecting with old friends that I hadn't talked to in a while, and just got back from a visit with one. This whole avoidance thing was very new to me, and has been SO hard to overcome, and I still struggle with it today. I don't know if I would meet the clinical criteria to diagnose me with avpd (just like I don't meet the criteria for BPD, but show some traits of the disorder, as my therapist has mentioned), but it definitely FEELS like I have some form of it, or at least, that the treatments for it may benefit me in some way. I know a lot about cluster B personality disorders, but not too much about any other cluster of disorders. This is incredibly interesting, and sometimes being able to put a name to something, and finding different tools that often help people with similar issues, is truly life changing.
@Reyam Aydin coming back to add to my comment that i now work in a fast food job and do just fine. the reason i was having issues was low self esteem and delusions that i was being talked badly about from my newest diagnosis- schizoaffective disorder. the anxiety of being in a new environment and my past experiences was drastically effecting my motivation to even apply for jobs hence why i was assuming avoidant.. to your comment i hope you’re able to find some peace in your situation i may be a stranger but i’m rooting for you!
Has anyone overcome this disorder? It's depressing to me when any of these videos on AvPD reach the section on treatment. There really needs to be more research on getting better.
I have recovered in that I’m married with children and have learned to trust others. It is possible but it’s hard work. I literally had to throw myself into social situations I found incredibly uncomfortable and panic inducing. I still feel inhibited at times with new people but it’s nowhere as bad as it used to be and I now enjoy getting to know people although it’s hard for me to maintain close friendships. I had no therapy because of the embarrassment but I prayed to God a lot and I believe He answered my prayers.
Change how you see yourself, I found meditation to be so good for me, slowly over a few months I became more loving towards myself and small steps going out of my comfort zone and changes on how I seen myself and the diagnoses doesn't define me like it did
The only time I ever override the negative symptoms are when I get angry which is rare and it’s counterproductive unless you’re on the football field. I never liked football but my father forced me to play. I was always too nice but man when I got angry did I surprise myself and my coaches.
Well on the bright side the fact you can get something done better with anger is great because you can cut down on the frustration before it grows into something worse, usually i just build on my frustration when the anger cycle starts
I can't express my anger when I'm being observe by others. I'm afraid they'd think I have a bad attitude or something 😔 Even if I want to express it, I can't. The fear of being judged for my behavior overpowers my anger. Then when I get home and can finally be alone, I turn that anger and hate towards myself > < My mom kept encouraging me to scream if I ever felt upset, but just the thought of screaming makes me uncomfortable. I'm not exactly a 'quiet' person though... I try to blend in so I won't call attention towards myself. Being a loner would also call unwanted attention, might even get pity looks from others. But really, I would prefer to be alone and not be judged for it
this might be the most debilitating mental disorder, yet nobody knows about it. Every day I wake up hoping that the world will just stop and give me a break. I’m always tense and cautious around other people
To be fair, there are some parts of AVPD which are really similar to some signs of autism if you just list symptoms. I have this, but at one point I was seriously wondering about whether I was on the spectrum before I found out about AVPD because it would have explained some parts of my life in a way that I could have understood. Then I found out about this and realised that there's a disorder that basically may as well have a picture of me in the dictionary next to its entry. I have all seven symptoms in spades. Honestly, you wouldn't be the first one to have this and mistake it for some sort of mild autism.
I DID get a diagnosis of autism. I may have it. But without avpd I bet I'd be some crazy artist somewhere! Instead I can hardly leave my room... *sigh*
The problem lies in the nervous system. No one can act normal, feel comfortable, or interact socially when their body is programmed to be in fight or flight mode from their upbringing
i think i might have this because i’ve had such bad experiences with people. i feel like just not talking to people for days. if i start to text a knew person i’m so scared because i think that they will think i’m weird for asking if they were in my class or something. i also hate talking to new people and it makes me scared to ask for a sandwich at a food place
I now I’m stuck in life and I have been looking for en explenation why I can’t move forward. I have a realy stupid, dead end job but I hold on to it for dear life because I don’t belive Im able to do something better. When I had a job I cared about and felt responsibilty I would cry everyday until I quit or they fired me (which happend quick). When somebody tells me a little advice that can help me improve I complitely fall apart. I want to listen to it and learn from it without reacting emotionaly but I can’t and it makes me so embarassed. And don’t even get me started on relationships
2) is this a consciously aware fear of rejection, or a lurking underlying subconscious one that can affect your relationships when you might have consciously trained yourself to be more confident?
King Richard I of England, also known as Richard the Lionheart, one of the most legendary knights and warrior kings ever known, may have suffered from AVPD. Chronicles of him always described him as overly cautious and not wanting to mingle in social settings or let anybody see any emotional vulnerabilities he may have. Ironically, he related with the enemies that he crusaded against more than his own peers. He maintained incredibly friendly relations with the Muslim leader Saladin long after he went back to France after the Third Crusade to defend his family's holdings from treacherous nobles. He seemed to transform all of his introverted nature into perfecting the art of fighting and combat.
i just recently found out that my personality has this fancy name, and it's a disorder at that. i meet all the 7 symptoms. and idk why i feel so mad at myself for this.
I'm in the same position. I thought I was a person but I'm actually just a disorder. It actually explains many things about my life though. You're not alone here.
This is by far the best video i've seen describing it. I have all that. Couldn't find a job for a long time after finishing college because most of the jobs I was rejecting (avoiding) being afraid Im not good enough/this is not for me. The only good thing is that I am socially outgoing - meaning meeting friends at social meetings such as bars/parties etc. That's because Im a fun loving person so I love fun and I feel comfortable when drinking alcohol during those meetings. During work it is totally opposite , I avoid people and stay in good contact with a small group of people.
It wad incredibly hard to start the process and eventually resorted to getting help setting up the appointment. Once i started I didnt vibe with my first therapist but a couple of tries i found one i like and i think gets me. It still is hard sometimes more then others but it definitely feels like it's the right path for me
I have AVPD, my first therapy session was when I was around 13. I couldn't stop shaking and I was too embarrassed to speak because I was constantly on the verge of tears, didn't try therapy again until now at 19. It went a lot better! I was still extremely anxious and couldn't make any eye contact when I went back, but I was able to talk about everything in detail. The first ones are definitely the worst.
@P This I was, but I used to be bullied because I was awkward and anxious already. The trauma started at home with my dad. Classic narcissistic parent who would beat & shame me whenever I did or said anything he didn't like, I remember being locked in a closet for an entire day for accidentally spilling a glass of water when he was in a bad mood.. then he'd take me over to Chuck E. Cheese's the next day buying me everything I wanted and telling me he loved me. I became a professional people pleaser in hopes of never getting on his bad side.
@@RPe-jk6dv I challenge you to educate yourself and look from an alternative perspective. Making an assumption without walking a mile in their shoes is pitiful.
Honestly. And the added bonus is it kinda encapsulates struggling with this a bit in of itself lol. It could just be a another synonym for many of the main symptoms but it fits in a more amusing way and I love it. If I were to try to explain it, ‘that I pretty much _cringe_ at everything I say or do or think to the extreme because I feel inferior’ sounds more straightforward aswell.
I have this too and I also wonder if it's too late for me, because I'm 50. But I'm trying to stay hopeful. I wish you well and hope you're doing alright.
I'm in my 60s. I've watched my peers go through the phases of "normal" adult life while I have not experienced adulthood activities such as relationships, kids, career, or home ownership. I feel I've failed myself and others due to my feelings of inadequacy and constant fear. I feel I have no real value. Unfortunately, those who don't suffer from this disorder may not understand and think we are "self-pitying", so I keep quiet.
32 years old, no friends, no relationship, no job. Family does not respect me because I'm unemployed despite me being nice to them. Quality of life is near 0 because of this. It's a real disability imo.
Im almost 33, this dissorder Is an endless painful nightmare, now im dealing with fisical pain, lumbar artrosis and doctor said It has to be with underapreciation of the self. Take care, i wish you can heal, we deserve ti live beautiful things
im so sorry, there is still hope and change and opportunities. You have so much life to live and chances to take. If you don’t mind me asking, is there something you would have done different in school that might have helped with this disorder? Because I currently have this and barely have any friends, and idk if you would have any advice maybe? Thanks, wish you guys the best
Jesus is the way the truth and the life no one cometh to the Father but through him. Jesus will heal you and make you whole. You need to know who you truly are in Christ Jesus your identity is in him.
@@HolyFireofGod Ah classic religious recruitment tactic, exploit people's suffering and vulnerability to get them to join your group with a false sense of hope that will only make things worse.
I’m 29 and I have this disorder. I’ve spent the last 10 years recovering from it despite not knowing what it was called until recently but once I read it I realized that I have it no doubt. But there is hope. I have always really struggled with relationships, but I now find myself with a lot of good friends, a few best friends, a boyfriend, a high paying job that I love, and have been putting myself out there in ways that terrify me everyday. Growth is more than possible if you become aware of your issues and realize it’s do or die to change. You must address these issues with or without therapy. I have not had therapy consistently, but I grown a lot due to sheer will power to not live a life of isolation and stagnation. You can do it!
I just knew it was a bit more than just social anxiety because I really do avoid social interaction because I'm scared of being judged I guess and like that's why I hate school and doing things its really not funn but its extremely hard I almost panicked and cried once in pe
I was diagnosed as having agoraphobia/panic/anxiety disorder, depression and add. I am wondering if I might actually have avoidant personality disorder. I can see how the agoraphobia and avoidant personality could share many of the same factors. I am not trying to self diagnose or add to labels of what's wrong with me, I just want to understand so I can address it and fix it. I have become a professional at avoidance and I know how to challenge those limiting beliefs. I know I am not inferior factually but it doesn't stop the perception. I've avoided mirrors and running into people I know or recognize since I was young. Not because I don't like people I just feel so uncomfortable and fake in small talk situations. I can see at least one kid starting this behavior and I want to help myself to help my kids not suffer the ways I do.
The problem is even bigger if it is mixed with depression. Than I think no psychotherapy help. How psychotherapy can help for someone who dont like people and usualy is alone. Being with anyone is artificial experience, not natural, odd. I only believe in drugs - especialy psylocibin.
Depression tends to go hand in hand with AVPD. It's almost impossible to go through life with AVPD and not have chronic depression because of what it does to you.
This describes me perfectly. Not to be dramatic, but i am thinking about self deleting from this world because i cant stand wasting my whole life and not being able to do anything about it. I already lost 10 years that i cant get back.
If you are serious about changing your life you can look up Julien Blanc on youtube and read books, the most effective ones are eckhart tolle the power of now. Joe dispenza breaking the habit of being yourself and letting go by david r hawkins. Its all about meditation🧘♀️
I'm pretty sure I have this and I hate it so much, I can't do anything. I can't post my face on social media or dating apps I can't ask girls out. I even struggle to show my face in public
Hi guys, much love to everyone ~ I have AVPD and SO many health issues I believe it may be related somehow. ~ I'd like to understand more AVPD and so I'm curious to know of you have any kind of health issues that you think may have been caused by AVPD like immunity , skin, joints problems, physical pain. Thanks to answer in the comments.
Maybe anxiety linked to avdp can cause extra stress and physical pain. Like when people are really stressed about something they get sick or get a headache? (Happenes to me lmao) so it could be something like that
I'm 62 and have been struggling with this my whole life. The "Cringe" part was me to the letter. All 7 were right on. Cognitive therapy is not a choice for most with this condition. So, in short, you have it, and you'll die with it. The End!!
I think i had not been neglected by my parents but i somehow develops this disorder as i usually always thinks twice in social situations before saying so that i wont sound bad, and with my closest friend i hate to share reasons in various scenarios, i am introvert ofc. Often feels inferior and always want to sound good in social groups
I'm sure i'm just an introvert even i have most of the symptoms and i experience these symptoms sometimes but i still can go to school,park or go shopping and i have close friends.A few friends but they are good friends PS:Or maybe i had AVPD ears ago but i still don't know because i never saw a therapist
Seems to me AVP is driven by toxic shame. The antidote is self-compassion and the fulfillment of being loved. Schema therapy, mindful self-compassion, and unconditional positive regard.
@potatotiel it's not necessary for diffdg to be from the same cluster/category. Sometimes you need to differentiate mental disorders from somatic diseases that mimics some symptoms.
I’m 29 and realized today I have this disorder even though you would never know it. I have a lot of friends, a relationship, a good job where I’m the boss, a passion that I pursue endlessly. Want everyone who has it to know that the key to conquering it is letting go of shame. Expose yourself to social situations that give you anxiety and face the anxiety head on. Just through the act of doing and realizing that it’s okay to be imperfect, you gain more confidence and let go of your shame. Shame is the root of it all and once you let go of it and accept yourself for who you are, you are set free. Through recovery, I have become resilient. This condition is an amazing opportunity to become an absolutely fearless leader. Don’t give up. Don’t let yourself retreat into your shell. There’s nothing for you in there - the world is out here. Come join it!
If there was a way of doing therapy anonymously I would consider it, but I will never talk face-to-face to a psychologist or psychiatrist. They are people, which is never worth it.
What you’re referring to is attachment theory which is not something you can be diagnosed with, it’s also not in the DSM-5. Avoidant personality disorder is an actual disorder, they are two different things.
If it makes you feel better, all of us can be idiots, and from what I can tell, alot are. But most who are aren't even aware of, or simply don't want to admit of their own idiocy because they are so desperately blinded by self-conceit and deceit, which is the essence of of an idiot lol. Even if you are right, it doesn't diminish you as a individual. Nor should you believe you're the only one, at least you're aware of it. Like I said, all of us are to some extent or another. And when we're aware of that, it can be humbling sometimes. Not deprecating. But with that being said, I concur. 😩
These professionals get it wrong a lot and just put everyone in a box when they have worse problems they hide. I was given this label because I went to a mother baby unit to support my partner who left a relationship and there kids went Into care because they where so badly abused because her past guys have been so abusive I was afraid to talk in case they said I was abusive as everything you did in this place was written down and used against you. My gf is very talkative has adhd so she gets carried away and because I was so ashamed to be in this place ( my kids are at home in a safe place with there mother and family and have never had any Socail involvement) they twisted anything that was said and any talking from a man would be toxic or abusive so I was classed as avoidant and clamming up. Just because I didn’t want to tell a judgmental stranger my past over and over again. I am actually really good on social situations and have had a lot of criticism and I am really confident and this is not me. I have had so many girlfriends and my sister always says how growing up I got any girlfriend I wanted also I had a lot of friends and was in a gang when I was a teenager where I was second because the top guy was older. All these labels are making for a sick weak new generation but that’s the goal and I can’t believe you all fall for it!!!
This is all beliefs and opinions made by judges and critics. Misunderstanders. Speaking of what they do not understand. Blind lead the blind. Be careful what you believe. Even Jesus said to renounce the world If your not of the world it will hate you, Followers and sheep Won’t get it
You could say that about all personality disorders or mental disorders/illness. Someone could have a child who suffers with an eating disorder which negatively impact the ones around them, is the sufferer narcissistic?
I was bullied basically my whole life, so I'm not really surprised that I have this. I'm just super relieved to know that I'm not alone.
Hello, can I ask something, how are your relationships with other people like friends, family, or any romantic relationships? Do you avoid them or are you close with them for a long time. I just want to know if I have this disorder and if Im having it worse. I dont feel normal at all.
@@SadBheeseChurger maybe you should see a professional. As well ❤️👍
I never understood why other people suffering with the same thing made it any better
Yes
@@SadBheeseChurger I have this too. I avoided all sports or anything that would be me in spotlight growing up from fear of ridicule. I am able to socialize when I drink. I did very well in high school and college because of this but started to have a problem so now I drink very little. I also had traumatic/problematic friendships/relationships that triggered my AVPD to become much worse. I am able to have romantic relationships but have trouble being vulnerable. I can only go into social settings if I feel 100% sure I will be accepted and liked which is very rare unless with family or (sometimes) my partner. It’s an overwhelming feeling of doom deep in my gut and feel like sick
I don't understand why my mom who seen me everyday as a shy kid, and then told me as an older teen that I have poor self-esteem, would not get me treatment as a kid? That is the responsibility of parents, to take care of that. All I ever got was the "you'll grow out of it" treatment.
Broken people in a broken world produce other broken people. Unless your parents were outright abusive to you, you can’t really blame them for not knowing. One thing that I can tell you is that negative self talk will not help. YOU have to take control of that. Hope things work out for you.
@@Obadiah1121 That's not right. You absolutely can blame your parents for what they did to you, regardless of whether it felt abusive or not. It's a huge part of releasing the shame we carry on our shoulders.
@@aktchungrabanio6467 I said you can’t blame them for not knowing. You can’t blame anyone for not knowing
I don't know how old your parents were when you were a kid, but before the internet most parents had the benefit of learning about parenting from family and friends and the odd book and little else. You would hope that parenting on the whole becomes exponentially better with the internet to help but one suspects us humans will continue to see a percentage of us being terrible parents forever
Your parents are not psychiatrist, you would do or say the same if you were in their place. At least now is the time what your parents were hoping for
This is me 100%. It describes my life perfectly. What a relief to know it's not just being awkward or shy.
I definitely have this disorder. I always explained it away as being introverted. However, the more I think about my behavior patterns over the years, this makes more sense. The problem is, it’s so bad that I avoid therapy or mental health treatment because of the fears associated with the disorder. 😩
Hi~
Could you please explain when you say "I feel like a prisoner just watching life go by" ?
@@Maltebyte2 Thank you for your answer. I have this disorder too. And I am feeling the same. I knew something was wrong but wasn't able to put word on it until recently when I watched a video about it.
Yeah.. it's a paradoxical and very isolating pain. Praying we'll through this though and find the help we need. If there's any in your country, online therapeutic programs or resources may help. I can only use the free ones cause I'm abysmally poor lol.
Anyway, may God be with you my fren! I think that will be most of help. Regardless if you believe, He has for me at least.
I guess we ourselves have to make a platform where we can help each others out.
same 😭😭😭
People with avoidant personality disorder have poor self-esteem. They also have an intense fear of rejection and being negatively judged by others👍
👎
@the thing ?
water is wet.
The floor is the floor
Yep, which makes working tough. If you are good at what you do you'll get an offer for management, good luck with that. Tough to manage when you have 1 foot out the door before the conversation starts.
I have avpd and i laughed at the «CRINGES» part😂 idk why. Such a funny acronym
Me 2 lmao
This has ruled my life for as long as I can remember.
This often happens to you in school right
@@ninjapirate123 yes from school to home from soccer practice to home and boot up the computer and start playing runescape 😆
Hugs
@@aimane3375 hahah exactly the same stuck in rs
It’s great to have the internet to spread the word about Avoidant Personality Disorder. I had no idea it existed until I was in my sixties. I’ve not been diagnosed with it but have been diagnosed with severe social phobia. I think that only a career in the US Army helped me stave off avoidant because it forced me to get it front of other people and conduct training, march them around and come out of my shell in many other ways. After the military I went to a civilian doctor who quickly diagnosed me. A combination of counseling and medications has also helped. Good luck and push yourself!
Yes it's great to have internet spread it but not great because internet doesn't treat us. only make us aware.
@@NoThing-ec9km Awareness can lead to therapeutic treatment.
I was in the Army too. But now I lack a role to play, a uniform, rank, a social structure of customs and courtesies, a mission and purpose, etc. The Army gave me a sense of identity, belonging, and value. Now, I feel like I’m back to being a loser. idk
This is me because my parents neglected me I remember being little and going to kindergarten alone crying everyday because I missed my mother ..and then in primary school some of my friends I had bullied me ..now I have AVPD to the extend that I avoid eye contact with people I don't even love myself so I don't expect that others will love me
I’m the same
Same 😔
Same :(
Love and support to you 💕🤗
El Magno, God loves you and has a plan for your life. Jesus knows what it is like to feel rejected so he is always there to talk to. Sending hugs.
I have this but I was raised as the only child of a very evil narcissist mother. I was isolated as a child, I wasn’t allowed to have friends, couldn’t do things like soft ball, go to camp, have or go to any type of parties. Except for when my mother had new friends or a guy. I was left to fend for myself and constantly told I should have been aborted. It was my fault her life was messed up. All my short comings and mistakes were thrown in my face. There is a lot more. But I don’t interact with people because I don’t know how. I don’t know how to just be, I’m not use to dealing with emotions so I don’t talk about myself. I prefer to be alone because it’s all I know. Interacting with ppl is what is foreign to me.
I can feel you, friend. Just replace mom with dad and you have my experience. Needed a stroke to have a changed personality and write this message. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
Mohan Kumar Are you saying a stroke changed your personality for the better?
Exactly the same. But by both parents...
omg. can u not describe my real side? i feel attacked(?) (idk mostly i dont know what i feel so. i guess its somewhat true im saying..)
I really felt your pain deeply because I had a very similar life except it was my father. It wasn’t until I moved out on my own and became an adult that I started doing the hard work of learning to socialize and trust. It was incredibly hard but I knew I had to do it. Long story short, I’m married to a wonderful man and have two beautiful children now. I may not always enjoy the idea of socially interacting nd relating is sometimes difficult but I never regret it. I credit God for saving me. I prayed about it a lot but I never had any therapy.
High harm avoidance is very interesting to me because I did exactly that as a kid. I've never once broken a bone, nor do I remember experiencing any painful injury as a kid.
It's weird to think that, that was a sign leading to this.
I do it even today. Almost everyday I get dreams of getting lynched or something for some reason lol
Same, first time I experienced major pain was after a surgery.
We have,been rejected and criticized by others.We have been put down that's why we feel this way.
This cant be any truer
Ive been in a friendgroup that disrespected me for years up until a few months ago. However, ever since ive been alone and depressed and considering suicide. I cant take the constant discomfort
funnily enough, i find myself quite a bit in this diagnosis yet i cant think of a time i was rejected, or of a moment that could trigger these feelings. in my case, i think it was self-imposed, actually because i felt embarrassed for how i might have been hurting others
but why have you someone allowed to put you down? why are you a coward?
@@RPe-jk6dv You're gonna try to talk back to someone who is bigger and stronger than you?
8) they may behave completely differently at home (in the circle of well-known close people) and outside. The same thing to presenting on social media....You may think about them differently if they share their personal photos with their loved ones. You may start to communicate with them based on that impression, or based on communication on social networks (where is their personal space protected and cannot be crossed any other way just by words), but you might be surprised by the reaction in the real social interaction. It does not necessarily mean that they do not like you, It means that you make them uncomfortable or stress them out by overly engaged behavior. So they probably do not like your reaction or you may intimidate them by the behavioral pattern they have previous negative experiences with.
I cried until 5th grade under any social pressure or when I got a wrong answer in front of the class. I remember going into the bathroom and punching myself, saying “stop crying.”
My parents, bless their hearts, but every time I cried about anything as a kid made me feel stupid if it wasn’t a “real” problem, when I think all I really needed a hug.
And I had (and still kind of do) a terrible social gauge as a kid, which made me really annoying and thus I became an outcast and got bullied for it.
The problem is, this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. You avoid any situation which might make you look stupid or inadequate or socially inept, so you never learn new things.
I’m even terrified right now of someone telling me, “That’s not what this disorder is, you’re stupid for thinking so, you’re a poser.”
So to everyone who’s found this out about themselves and is looking for a way out, my heart goes out to you. I hope we can figure this out together.
I honestly think I’m going to cry from finding this, I’ve felt trapped my entire life, constantly going back in forth between suicidal thoughts, I thought I could never be able to live and I’d always be confused of what’s wrong, but seeing all these symptoms that I know so well being real and known makes me feel like I’m finally not alone and brings me hope.
You’re definitely not alone buddy. Hang in there. Since I left my job in January, I’ve yet to spend one total hour in the sun. As a result I’ve gained 15-20 pounds. I get invited somewhere or get a job offer, then I feel inclined to refuse because I fear having episodes I can’t control. I can only describe that as intense fears, crying, and anger which can last hours or days. Hopefully I get approved for disability for time being seeing as I’ve held two different jobs over 8 years. Then hopefully I can find the right doctors/meds and start to build myself up. It sucks trying explain this friends and family, most can’t fathom how terrible one must feel to consider killing themselves. I can honestly say I’ve cried alone, hidden in plain sight, thousands of times.
It's super fun to be this way and not have anyone to blame but myself. No abuse, no neglect. I had loving parents and I went to great schools. I'm dying a bit more moment by moment, no friends, no job, never been on a date but I can honestly say it's all my fault. How novel to have the least sexy personality disorder and the one that hardly anyone knows about because the people who suffer from it are often too shy to get help. I've resorted to no longer going to the doctor in the hopes that something will just kill me already.
Oh dear.
Hugs.
Me too.
@@Tadesan Thank you, it's so hard to feel seen and understood when I'm like this.
I’m sorry you feel that way. You are here. That must mean something. Its a great start. Life will get better, don’t give up.
@@Benita445 I use to think this way but it’s not health you gotta try to be more social and whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger
@Alex I know how hard it is to be here, I hope it gets easier for both of us.
Does anyone else repeatedly rehearse what they are going to say when in a social situation that you cant avoid? Example: I have a family get to gather and the night before I will rehearse my answer to questions I will probably be asked. I will go over my response numerous times adjusting the grammar and composition of the sentence until I find the "best response ".
Yes
Just come up with a bunch of canned statements and questions, yes sir.
not exact that, but im always worried to run out of topics to talk to when im with someone, so i try to jump constantly ahead in my mind during a conversation to think about what to tell next, which is super exhausting and i can also not focus on what the other is saying in that moment. this need of beeing responsible for a good conversation that doesn't run dry makes me loosing enjoy the moment.
@@motulifelikefigures1987 I used to feel that way a lot, and then I kind of just realised that they were people I just don't click with. I have some mental health issues but I don't know what exactly (or what combination) but I do tend to find that if the people I am with aren't positive and proactively engaging with me, I can feel exactly the same and want nothing more than to get away from them as much as possible. I'm old enough now to have curated a few people who bring the best out of me
i used to interview myself, i guess it counts?
I was thinking I only have social anxiety but it turns out I have this disorder. I really should seek a psychotherapist, I've done it before but only 1 session. Then,I was thinking couple of days ago that I should do some more sessions, not it is even clearer. I need to get help
I want to get help for this too, since all of rhe CRINGES apply to me. How was your 1 session if you don't mind answering?
I have had this ‘disorder’ almost my almost my entire life. At my age,75, I finally found my peace. I just avoid everything.
I had a narcissistic, hoarder of a mother, an absent father, a sibling death, physical/emotional abuse throughout childhood, and sxual abuse in elementary school. I was also institutionalized several times, once for a year. I was isolated from friends, perpetually grounded, etc.
When I turned 18, I left home and bounced around for a while, sometimes renting for a few months, sometimes couch surfing, etc. for a few years, before I decided to start traveling. So I got a backpack/tent/tarp and things, and spent the next 7-ish years living outdoors, moving around the country. During the last half of those years, I developed a significant drug addiction (although had issues with substances before), and got into a VERY abusive relationship with a very dangerous older man, and got pregnant.
I got clean, and so did he, and he wanted to be involved in the child's life and my naïve ass agreed to that. He ended up living with me and using me for a place to stay, have bills covered, all the while lying and gaslighting me to the point where I didn't have confidence in my own experiences or memories.
When I finally kicked him out, and my life fell apart when I realized there was a NAME to the abuse I suffered at the hands of my "mother", I started to understand how I got to where I was. My physical health was suffering, my mental health certainly was suffering, and I truly felt alone.
Fast forward a few years, and I am now doing a lot better overall. However, due to the SECOND round of abuse by my child's father, I started turning inward. I no longer reached out to friends, couldn't even manage to get back to anyone reaching out to me, and having no support system around me, I shut myself off from the world, for the first time. Before, I was living in public...I had nowhere to retreat TO. I had no choice but to interact, to survive.
I have recently made some steps, reconnecting with old friends that I hadn't talked to in a while, and just got back from a visit with one. This whole avoidance thing was very new to me, and has been SO hard to overcome, and I still struggle with it today. I don't know if I would meet the clinical criteria to diagnose me with avpd (just like I don't meet the criteria for BPD, but show some traits of the disorder, as my therapist has mentioned), but it definitely FEELS like I have some form of it, or at least, that the treatments for it may benefit me in some way. I know a lot about cluster B personality disorders, but not too much about any other cluster of disorders. This is incredibly interesting, and sometimes being able to put a name to something, and finding different tools that often help people with similar issues, is truly life changing.
Thanks for sharing. What a story
i feel this is why i’m unable to get a job… it’s like i just can’t commit to being around ppl anymore bc of the criticism i faced at my last job
You could look into work from home or I used to be a delivery driver
@Reyam Aydin coming back to add to my comment that i now work in a fast food job and do just fine. the reason i was having issues was low self esteem and delusions that i was being talked badly about from my newest diagnosis- schizoaffective disorder. the anxiety of being in a new environment and my past experiences was drastically effecting my motivation to even apply for jobs hence why i was assuming avoidant..
to your comment i hope you’re able to find some peace in your situation i may be a stranger but i’m rooting for you!
Has anyone overcome this disorder? It's depressing to me when any of these videos on AvPD reach the section on treatment. There really needs to be more research on getting better.
I have recovered in that I’m married with children and have learned to trust others. It is possible but it’s hard work. I literally had to throw myself into social situations I found incredibly uncomfortable and panic inducing. I still feel inhibited at times with new people but it’s nowhere as bad as it used to be and I now enjoy getting to know people although it’s hard for me to maintain close friendships. I had no therapy because of the embarrassment but I prayed to God a lot and I believe He answered my prayers.
Yes, always strive to push your comfort zone. Feel the fear and do it anyway. That helped me to progress relationship wise and career wise.
Change how you see yourself, I found meditation to be so good for me, slowly over a few months I became more loving towards myself and small steps going out of my comfort zone and changes on how I seen myself and the diagnoses doesn't define me like it did
@@orls9068 please tell me what u did omg
This explains a lot so now I'm going to talk about this to my therapist
The only time I ever override the negative symptoms are when I get angry which is rare and it’s counterproductive unless you’re on the football field. I never liked football but my father forced me to play. I was always too nice but man when I got angry did I surprise myself and my coaches.
Well on the bright side the fact you can get something done better with anger is great because you can cut down on the frustration before it grows into something worse, usually i just build on my frustration when the anger cycle starts
Oh same, when I would get angry at work I'd be slamming equipment (they weren't breakable) and doors and then fake smile and say "oops" 🙂
I can't express my anger when I'm being observe by others. I'm afraid they'd think I have a bad attitude or something 😔
Even if I want to express it, I can't. The fear of being judged for my behavior overpowers my anger. Then when I get home and can finally be alone, I turn that anger and hate towards myself > <
My mom kept encouraging me to scream if I ever felt upset, but just the thought of screaming makes me uncomfortable. I'm not exactly a 'quiet' person though... I try to blend in so I won't call attention towards myself. Being a loner would also call unwanted attention, might even get pity looks from others. But really, I would prefer to be alone and not be judged for it
I had this problem I wonder how many children chose "street ghetto culture" because it celebrates and camouflages this behavior.
this might be the most debilitating mental disorder, yet nobody knows about it. Every day I wake up hoping that the world will just stop and give me a break. I’m always tense and cautious around other people
Ugh got diagnosed with this while seeking a diagnosis of autism. Its crazy how little "professionals" seem to know about diagnosing autism
One can't seek a certain diagnosis. The process requires a certain openness and trust in the doctor.
To be fair, there are some parts of AVPD which are really similar to some signs of autism if you just list symptoms. I have this, but at one point I was seriously wondering about whether I was on the spectrum before I found out about AVPD because it would have explained some parts of my life in a way that I could have understood. Then I found out about this and realised that there's a disorder that basically may as well have a picture of me in the dictionary next to its entry. I have all seven symptoms in spades.
Honestly, you wouldn't be the first one to have this and mistake it for some sort of mild autism.
I DID get a diagnosis of autism. I may have it. But without avpd I bet I'd be some crazy artist somewhere! Instead I can hardly leave my room... *sigh*
Yup, AVPD in the house. Sexual abuse and neglect in childhood is my story.
The problem lies in the nervous system. No one can act normal, feel comfortable, or interact socially when their body is programmed to be in fight or flight mode from their upbringing
i think i might have this because i’ve had such bad experiences with people. i feel like just not talking to people for days. if i start to text a knew person i’m so scared because i think that they will think i’m weird for asking if they were in my class or something. i also hate talking to new people and it makes me scared to ask for a sandwich at a food place
Being a child used by my parents as a weapon against the other is probably the fundamental reason for my avoiding relationships. .
This is a very thorough video of AvPD. It’s a very difficult life.
I now I’m stuck in life and I have been looking for en explenation why I can’t move forward. I have a realy stupid, dead end job but I hold on to it for dear life because I don’t belive Im able to do something better. When I had a job I cared about and felt responsibilty I would cry everyday until I quit or they fired me (which happend quick). When somebody tells me a little advice that can help me improve I complitely fall apart. I want to listen to it and learn from it without reacting emotionaly but I can’t and it makes me so embarassed. And don’t even get me started on relationships
2) is this a consciously aware fear of rejection, or a lurking underlying subconscious one that can affect your relationships when you might have consciously trained yourself to be more confident?
Its subconscious
I think it's subconscious. You can 'sense' what you need to avoid basically instantly.
I feel both.
King Richard I of England, also known as Richard the Lionheart, one of the most legendary knights and warrior kings ever known, may have suffered from AVPD. Chronicles of him always described him as overly cautious and not wanting to mingle in social settings or let anybody see any emotional vulnerabilities he may have. Ironically, he related with the enemies that he crusaded against more than his own peers. He maintained incredibly friendly relations with the Muslim leader Saladin long after he went back to France after the Third Crusade to defend his family's holdings from treacherous nobles. He seemed to transform all of his introverted nature into perfecting the art of fighting and combat.
i just recently found out that my personality has this fancy name, and it's a disorder at that. i meet all the 7 symptoms. and idk why i feel so mad at myself for this.
I'm happy that I finally fit somewhere, even if it this disorder.
hahaha same here 🥺
@@lyricalrexa4142 This....I can feel this 😆😳
Don't be mad at yourself; be mad at those who made you like this. This isn't your fault, it's theirs!
I'm in the same position. I thought I was a person but I'm actually just a disorder. It actually explains many things about my life though. You're not alone here.
This is by far the best video i've seen describing it. I have all that. Couldn't find a job for a long time after finishing college because most of the jobs I was rejecting (avoiding) being afraid Im not good enough/this is not for me. The only good thing is that I am socially outgoing - meaning meeting friends at social meetings such as bars/parties etc. That's because Im a fun loving person so I love fun and I feel comfortable when drinking alcohol during those meetings. During work it is totally opposite , I avoid people and stay in good contact with a small group of people.
I have a question for those who are shy, introverted, socially anxious, or avoidant.
How was therapy during your first few sessions? Was it difficult?
It wad incredibly hard to start the process and eventually resorted to getting help setting up the appointment. Once i started I didnt vibe with my first therapist but a couple of tries i found one i like and i think gets me. It still is hard sometimes more then others but it definitely feels like it's the right path for me
I have AVPD, my first therapy session was when I was around 13. I couldn't stop shaking and I was too embarrassed to speak because I was constantly on the verge of tears, didn't try therapy again until now at 19. It went a lot better! I was still extremely anxious and couldn't make any eye contact when I went back, but I was able to talk about everything in detail. The first ones are definitely the worst.
@P This I was, but I used to be bullied because I was awkward and anxious already. The trauma started at home with my dad. Classic narcissistic parent who would beat & shame me whenever I did or said anything he didn't like, I remember being locked in a closet for an entire day for accidentally spilling a glass of water when he was in a bad mood.. then he'd take me over to Chuck E. Cheese's the next day buying me everything I wanted and telling me he loved me. I became a professional people pleaser in hopes of never getting on his bad side.
Very very hard to start, but if you have the right counselor it is worth it.
@@UnregisteredHyperCam_2 search acharya Prashant !
Having AVPD is like living in a prison, only worse.
Holy cow. You sure are right.
you are the only warden in this prison. the door is not locked, why
do you not leave?
@@RPe-jk6dv You don't understand do you?
@@RPe-jk6dv I challenge you to educate yourself and look from an alternative perspective. Making an assumption without walking a mile in their shoes is pitiful.
@@RPe-jk6dvmaybe it’s a rhetorical question
CRINGES is the funniest acronym i've seen in psychology
Honestly. And the added bonus is it kinda encapsulates struggling with this a bit in of itself lol. It could just be a another synonym for many of the main symptoms but it fits in a more amusing way and I love it.
If I were to try to explain it, ‘that I pretty much _cringe_ at everything I say or do or think to the extreme because I feel inferior’ sounds more straightforward aswell.
I definitely have this. What can i do now its too late for me im 52 never married no kids no partner. No enjoyment in my life. Lonely. It is so sad
I have this too and I also wonder if it's too late for me, because I'm 50. But I'm trying to stay hopeful. I wish you well and hope you're doing alright.
I'm in my 60s. I've watched my peers go through the phases of "normal" adult life while I have not experienced adulthood activities such as relationships, kids, career, or home ownership. I feel I've failed myself and others due to my feelings of inadequacy and constant fear. I feel I have no real value. Unfortunately, those who don't suffer from this disorder may not understand and think we are "self-pitying", so I keep quiet.
32 years old, no friends, no relationship, no job. Family does not respect me because I'm unemployed despite me being nice to them. Quality of life is near 0 because of this. It's a real disability imo.
Im almost 33, this dissorder Is an endless painful nightmare, now im dealing with fisical pain, lumbar artrosis and doctor said It has to be with underapreciation of the self. Take care, i wish you can heal, we deserve ti live beautiful things
im so sorry, there is still hope and change and opportunities. You have so much life to live and chances to take.
If you don’t mind me asking, is there something you would have done different in school that might have helped with this disorder? Because I currently have this and barely have any friends, and idk if you would have any advice maybe? Thanks, wish you guys the best
Jesus is the way the truth and the life no one cometh to the Father but through him. Jesus will heal you and make you whole. You need to know who you truly are in Christ Jesus your identity is in him.
@@HolyFireofGod Ah classic religious recruitment tactic, exploit people's suffering and vulnerability to get them to join your group with a false sense of hope that will only make things worse.
I’m 29 and I have this disorder. I’ve spent the last 10 years recovering from it despite not knowing what it was called until recently but once I read it I realized that I have it no doubt. But there is hope. I have always really struggled with relationships, but I now find myself with a lot of good friends, a few best friends, a boyfriend, a high paying job that I love, and have been putting myself out there in ways that terrify me everyday. Growth is more than possible if you become aware of your issues and realize it’s do or die to change. You must address these issues with or without therapy. I have not had therapy consistently, but I grown a lot due to sheer will power to not live a life of isolation and stagnation. You can do it!
I find information about this so long. last I know I actually AVPD
Thank you a billion
I just knew it was a bit more than just social anxiety because I really do avoid social interaction because I'm scared of being judged I guess and like that's why I hate school and doing things its really not funn but its extremely hard I almost panicked and cried once in pe
I was diagnosed as having agoraphobia/panic/anxiety disorder, depression and add. I am wondering if I might actually have avoidant personality disorder. I can see how the agoraphobia and avoidant personality could share many of the same factors. I am not trying to self diagnose or add to labels of what's wrong with me, I just want to understand so I can address it and fix it. I have become a professional at avoidance and I know how to challenge those limiting beliefs. I know I am not inferior factually but it doesn't stop the perception. I've avoided mirrors and running into people I know or recognize since I was young. Not because I don't like people I just feel so uncomfortable and fake in small talk situations. I can see at least one kid starting this behavior and I want to help myself to help my kids not suffer the ways I do.
Hey that's me in the video
+1
The problem is even bigger if it is mixed with depression. Than I think no psychotherapy help. How psychotherapy can help for someone who dont like people and usualy is alone. Being with anyone is artificial experience, not natural, odd. I only believe in drugs - especialy psylocibin.
I wanna try shrooms soon but it will take a while before i can get them. I wonder if it will help w perspective?
Could you share more about your experience with it?
i prefer ketamin because it make me to forget who i am
Depression tends to go hand in hand with AVPD. It's almost impossible to go through life with AVPD and not have chronic depression because of what it does to you.
guys just smoke weed psychedelics change you
That 1,5 - 2,5% of general population is only about the States or global ?
This describes me perfectly. Not to be dramatic, but i am thinking about self deleting from this world because i cant stand wasting my whole life and not being able to do anything about it. I already lost 10 years that i cant get back.
Jesus can heal you and make you whole enquire of him
Eeey how are you? Do you still feel like that?? I dont know what to say so... 2+2=82
@@natalialopez2069 yeah i do.
Thank you, very informational
avpd is from the devil bro. it’s slowly ruining my life…
If you are serious about changing your life you can look up Julien Blanc on youtube and read books, the most effective ones are eckhart tolle the power of now. Joe dispenza breaking the habit of being yourself and letting go by david r hawkins. Its all about meditation🧘♀️
I'm pretty sure I have this and I hate it so much, I can't do anything. I can't post my face on social media or dating apps I can't ask girls out. I even struggle to show my face in public
6/7 hold true for me but I also have autism so IDK if that makes it harder to diagnose...
same
I came to term today, I have avoidant personality disorder.
I can see that pattern in some places 🤯. Very helpful a bit more understanding for this type personality.
Hi guys, much love to everyone ~
I have AVPD and SO many health issues I believe it may be related somehow.
~ I'd like to understand more AVPD and so I'm curious to know of you have any kind of health issues that you think may have been caused by AVPD like immunity , skin, joints problems, physical pain. Thanks to answer in the comments.
Maybe anxiety linked to avdp can cause extra stress and physical pain. Like when people are really stressed about something they get sick or get a headache? (Happenes to me lmao) so it could be something like that
Thank you so much 😊
I'm 62 and have been struggling with this my whole life. The "Cringe" part was me to the letter. All 7 were right on. Cognitive therapy is not a choice for most with this condition. So, in short, you have it, and you'll die with it. The End!!
I think i had not been neglected by my parents but i somehow develops this disorder as i usually always thinks twice in social situations before saying so that i wont sound bad, and with my closest friend i hate to share reasons in various scenarios, i am introvert ofc. Often feels inferior and always want to sound good in social groups
I think I have this personality Disorder 😅
Disease?
I sworn I had autism, I’m so happy to see all these comments.
Yeah this is me
I've been married for nearly 56 years.
Wow it's a looong time💞
Ok…good for you?
Glutton for punishment?
I'm sure i'm just an introvert even i have most of the symptoms and i experience these symptoms sometimes but i still can go to school,park or go shopping and i have close friends.A few friends but they are good friends
PS:Or maybe i had AVPD ears ago but i still don't know because i never saw a therapist
Seems to me AVP is driven by toxic shame. The antidote is self-compassion and the fulfillment of being loved. Schema therapy, mindful self-compassion, and unconditional positive regard.
Yup, I go through it everyday I wanna avoid my family friends everybody .. 😆
WTF the treatments are "likely beneficial". After going to 2 therapist my negative bias interprets that as "I'm most likely fucked!"
Just curious is ADHD a differential dg for AVPD?
yeah I think it’s different
@potatotiel it's not necessary for diffdg to be from the same cluster/category. Sometimes you need to differentiate mental disorders from somatic diseases that mimics some symptoms.
I have ADD and Avpd
@@SkinnyDancerthank you for sharing. Can you tell the difference between them?
I think I do as well. I feel that I have inattentive ADHD? Is your ADHD leaning towards inattentive or hyperactive?
I’m 29 and realized today I have this disorder even though you would never know it. I have a lot of friends, a relationship, a good job where I’m the boss, a passion that I pursue endlessly. Want everyone who has it to know that the key to conquering it is letting go of shame. Expose yourself to social situations that give you anxiety and face the anxiety head on. Just through the act of doing and realizing that it’s okay to be imperfect, you gain more confidence and let go of your shame. Shame is the root of it all and once you let go of it and accept yourself for who you are, you are set free. Through recovery, I have become resilient. This condition is an amazing opportunity to become an absolutely fearless leader. Don’t give up. Don’t let yourself retreat into your shell. There’s nothing for you in there - the world is out here. Come join it!
If there was a way of doing therapy anonymously I would consider it, but I will never talk face-to-face to a psychologist or psychiatrist. They are people, which is never worth it.
Avoidance is not a personality order. It is a attachment style. My ex is a Dismissive Avoidant, same goes for fearful and disorganised.
What you’re referring to is attachment theory which is not something you can be diagnosed with, it’s also not in the DSM-5. Avoidant personality disorder is an actual disorder, they are two different things.
Can you tell us again what you're going to be talkin aboot?
I’m just an idiot
No
Same
Same 😔
If it makes you feel better, all of us can be idiots, and from what I can tell, alot are. But most who are aren't even aware of, or simply don't want to admit of their own idiocy because they are so desperately blinded by self-conceit and deceit, which is the essence of of an idiot lol.
Even if you are right, it doesn't diminish you as a individual. Nor should you believe you're the only one, at least you're aware of it. Like I said, all of us are to some extent or another. And when we're aware of that, it can be humbling sometimes. Not deprecating.
But with that being said, I concur. 😩
These professionals get it wrong a lot and just put everyone in a box when they have worse problems they hide. I was given this label because I went to a mother baby unit to support my partner who left a relationship and there kids went Into care because they where so badly abused because her past guys have been so abusive I was afraid to talk in case they said I was abusive as everything you did in this place was written down and used against you. My gf is very talkative has adhd so she gets carried away and because I was so ashamed to be in this place ( my kids are at home in a safe place with there mother and family and have never had any Socail involvement) they twisted anything that was said and any talking from a man would be toxic or abusive so I was classed as avoidant and clamming up. Just because I didn’t want to tell a judgmental stranger my past over and over again. I am actually really good on social situations and have had a lot of criticism and I am really confident and this is not me. I have had so many girlfriends and my sister always says how growing up I got any girlfriend I wanted also I had a lot of friends and was in a gang when I was a teenager where I was second because the top guy was older. All these labels are making for a sick weak new generation but that’s the goal and I can’t believe you all fall for it!!!
hmmmm...ok. we all fall for something, don't we...
I'm a recluse who craves Attention at the sametime
I think i got all those symptoms
Or a new abusive relationship has triggered this for the first time in their life
Like me fr 😞
This is all beliefs and opinions made by judges and critics. Misunderstanders. Speaking of what they do not understand. Blind lead the blind. Be careful what you believe.
Even Jesus said to renounce the world
If your not of the world it will hate you,
Followers and sheep
Won’t get it
In adulthood they be come Abusive!
Any proof or studies backing this up?
A lot of videos promote pity for these people,but the people around them are the ones who really suffer. Same with NPD.
You could say that about all personality disorders or mental disorders/illness. Someone could have a child who suffers with an eating disorder which negatively impact the ones around them, is the sufferer narcissistic?
CRINGES 😂😂
avoidants are mad cowards.
You're the coward, hiding behind TH-cam.
avoidant relatives are a pain in the neck.
who thinks he is inferior is inferior.
I used opioids to get out of this way of BEING...Now I'm an addict and avoidant personality, anxeity,, depression And old...
been that way for years