Chris Voss: FBI Hostage Negotiator | Lex Fridman Podcast

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  • @lexfridman
    @lexfridman  ปีที่แล้ว +171

    Here are the timestamps. Please check out our sponsors to support this podcast.
    0:00 - Introduction & sponsor mentions:
    - Shopify: shopify.com/lex to get free trial
    - Indeed: indeed.com/lex to get $75 credit
    - InsideTracker: insidetracker.com/lex to get 20% off
    0:59 - Negotiation
    6:50 - Reason vs Emotion
    21:45 - How to listen
    30:35 - Negotiation with terrorists
    32:43 - Brittney Griner
    34:21 - Putin and Zelenskyy
    41:41 - Donald Trump
    48:52 - When to walk away
    53:06 - Israel and Palestine
    1:00:45 - Al-Qaeda
    1:06:15 - Three voices of negotiation
    1:14:40 - Strategic umbrage
    1:17:46 - Mirroring
    1:20:57 - Labeling
    1:28:24 - Exhaustion
    1:30:38 - The word "fair"
    1:33:34 - Closing the deal
    1:35:32 - Manipulation and lying
    1:37:26 - Conversation vs Negotiation
    1:48:45 - The 7-38-55 Rule
    1:52:45 - Chatbots
    2:02:07 - War
    2:03:39 - Advice for young people

    • @mymoodmyvibez7111
      @mymoodmyvibez7111 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Which books were referenced in this video? Thanks in advance

    • @markjones4186
      @markjones4186 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Man I have been waiting for this one to happen!!!!! Just started but am really looking forward to it!!!

    • @markjones4186
      @markjones4186 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I absolutely love what he is saying about the difference between empathy and sympathy. Most people don't even know what empathy means and confuse it with sympathy. All of these 'Love' people are actually in most cases enabling bad behavior by justifying it in the name of empathy. Empathy is not agreeing or justifying bad behavior, but simply an understanding of how someone through there life experiences gets to the place that they are at. "Walk a mile in another man's shoes" resonate with anyone? it is in now way agreeing, it is only understanding how!

    • @jeffk464
      @jeffk464 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      He has good hair for an old man

    • @InfoSopher
      @InfoSopher ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Lex, why not interview a homeless person? Could maybe do it on the street.

  • @SparkBerry
    @SparkBerry ปีที่แล้ว +851

    Never Split The Difference is one of those books that changed how I approach my life and career, and it's been on the up ever since. Thank you Mr Voss.

    • @AlexandraAndStuff
      @AlexandraAndStuff ปีที่แล้ว +25

      Can you shortly describe how and why it was so important? I see a lot of similar comments here so I'm tempted to check it out, but I wonder what people have to say about it

    • @tarik20
      @tarik20 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@AlexandraAndStuff I'd like to know, too

    • @anthonyphan1922
      @anthonyphan1922 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      It teachs you how to be in people (kidnapper, terrorist) shoes. Understand what they FEEL and that feeling lead to what they Think and Act. You get the idea

    • @PREPPERINES
      @PREPPERINES ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Man I completely agree. Once you read that book you will never see the world the same again, for the better! There are no adversaries, only partners. It’s. A must read, especially the black swan part.

    • @GDIBass
      @GDIBass ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Seconded. It changed the way I think about negotiation altogether. I'm going to give it a reread here soon.

  • @Bootlgr4
    @Bootlgr4 ปีที่แล้ว +339

    "You're funnier than i am, that bothers me." What a profoundly insightful and self-confident statement. This interview is fantastic!!!

    • @raunelcorona2689
      @raunelcorona2689 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Elaborate please 🤔

    • @halfeld
      @halfeld ปีที่แล้ว +14

      "You're funnier than I am and that's ok" is what I'd call a self-confident statement.

    • @mvallejo1111
      @mvallejo1111 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Chris Cos is so incredibly intelligent and insightful. No wonder he was the most successful negotiator in the FBI

    • @AA-nh4fx
      @AA-nh4fx ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I read this comment at the exact moment he said that

    • @Neisey
      @Neisey ปีที่แล้ว +12

      They’re low key flirting with each other lol

  • @aliciapowell4877
    @aliciapowell4877 ปีที่แล้ว +86

    It's wild that he asks "why me, what am I doing here?" Within the first 15 mins I could tell this was going to be one of my favourite episodes. I always know the guests will be interesting but it never fails to amaze me how much deeper and even more interesting they get on this pod. Lex is the best at bringing out people's unique wisdom and perspective.

    • @roadrunner9622
      @roadrunner9622 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      One thing I wish Lex would do, is bring on people who are NOT elite, and yet still bring value out of them.
      Strippers, gang members, a homeless guy, a prisoner, etc.

    • @LetoDK
      @LetoDK ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I agree. We are lucky that Lex mostly stays out of their way. In this one, Lex at least waited till the end before spending time on his fundamental lack of understanding of how things work (including AI and the human brain). Mostly he stays out of the way, and lets the brilliant guests share their findings.

    • @gynn
      @gynn ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@roadrunner9622 Check out Soft White Underbelly. He does that style of video and is a great non-invasive interviewer

    • @roadrunner9622
      @roadrunner9622 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@gynn Thanks, I'll check it out

    • @OllenFrazer
      @OllenFrazer ปีที่แล้ว

      @@LetoDK are you kidding? He interrupts and argues from his ignorant perspective all the time, then suddenly laughs for 3 minutes and they delve into discussing something completely unrelated because apparently mr Friedman is too good to behave like a decent human being

  • @priyaberry751
    @priyaberry751 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Getting to see Mr. Fridman laughing his heart out is the best thing about this conversation.

  • @CameronFarah
    @CameronFarah ปีที่แล้ว +58

    One of my all-time favorite Lex interviews. I didn't expect it to be so compelling but the insights were extraordinary. Also the interaction between Lex and Chris was just fun to listen to and watch!

    • @chemonmusic
      @chemonmusic 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Sound like you’ve got a reason for saying that?

    • @Jack-eo5fn
      @Jack-eo5fn 19 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@chemonmusic? Care to explain that intriguing comment?

  • @brianmaluleka9189
    @brianmaluleka9189 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    Lex is human who finds other people human no matter the difference. Super underrated quality

    • @maxbean8781
      @maxbean8781 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Well said Brian !!

  • @elmorganou
    @elmorganou ปีที่แล้ว +36

    Mr Voss is like that silent uncle that knows everything and just smiles...both chill and tough...you know he knows you know . Big soul, big responsabity...🇫🇷 Merci Lex

    • @elmorganou
      @elmorganou ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Also thank you because this may help with my daughter...although she coule probably break you 😉

  • @johngrimble3050
    @johngrimble3050 ปีที่แล้ว +150

    Unexpectedly, one of my favorite episodes.

  • @elcringedad
    @elcringedad ปีที่แล้ว +15

    This has to be the BEST Lex podcast to date. Chris Voss is legendary in my lore and this coming together of Lex and Chris was the event of the decade!!! 🎉

  • @JeremyEastmanNWA
    @JeremyEastmanNWA ปีที่แล้ว +10

    This is one of the best Chris Voss interviews out there. And I’ve heard a LOT of them!

  • @MonikaZairi
    @MonikaZairi ปีที่แล้ว +96

    I love Chris Voss! Tactical Empathy is such an essential understanding to have. Never Split the Difference is at the top of my book recommend list! 🔥🔥🔥

    • @MyHandleIs
      @MyHandleIs ปีที่แล้ว +2

      You can tell he used to have a ponytail

    • @johnw3772
      @johnw3772 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@MyHandleIs I wonder if I'll see you say this exact thing on another comment for the third time, get a life

    • @MyHandleIs
      @MyHandleIs ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@johnw3772 Sometimes in life you can tell he used to have a ponytail

  • @Outside-InAquatics
    @Outside-InAquatics ปีที่แล้ว +261

    Almost three years ago I was stopped by a direct tv salesman in a mall. I was having a really hard day. I had just started life as a single father and didn't have my shit together. This guy stopped me and looked me dead in the eye and said, "if no one told you today , I just want to tell you, you are doing a great job." That guy probably knows that he changed my day that day. What he probably doesn't know is that because of what he said I have changed the days of so many people. What that guy said to me made me feel seen, and he had empathy for my situation. Which has stuck with me 3 years later. 1:41:33

    • @mkf628
      @mkf628 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      he's a salesman, wouldn't take it personally

    • @kmvoock
      @kmvoock ปีที่แล้ว +5

      This. THIS! This is what it's all about. ❤️✌🏼

    • @InfinitiG-gz7ic
      @InfinitiG-gz7ic ปีที่แล้ว +16

      @@mkf628 he’s also a human being.

    • @InfinitiG-gz7ic
      @InfinitiG-gz7ic ปีที่แล้ว +5

      That’s beautiful dog

    • @ALCRAN2010
      @ALCRAN2010 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      ​@@mkf628 fk that.
      Unless the emotion is genuine, a salesman cannot change your mind.
      After you treat thousands of people, there becomes an intuition about reading people.
      Today it's called "training the AI".

  • @patrickpapadelis
    @patrickpapadelis ปีที่แล้ว +35

    Your podcasts are great! They become amazing when the guest and the topic discussed hit real close to home. Life changing content with Lex! Happy to be a fan!

  • @gabrielparks9399
    @gabrielparks9399 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    “Reason does not exist” that could be untangled as an entire podcast of its own.

  • @TheTarotDJ333
    @TheTarotDJ333 ปีที่แล้ว +123

    One of my favorite Lex quotes to this day -
    "It's hard for me to trust a person who is not aware of their own demons."
    Very wise words!
    Chris - The completed negotiation of a lost soul on the other end of the phone line agreeing to make it through that long dark night is a beautiful act of kindness, empathy, and cosmic Agape love.
    Spirit thanks you for your service to humanity and for sharing your wonderful insight with us all.
    👁⭐️👁✌️🦄

    • @caitycroft
      @caitycroft ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I wrote down that quote before I saw you wrote it…so brilliant

    • @cheechvda
      @cheechvda ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Kanye interview comes to mind

    • @Ididntaskforahandleyoutube
      @Ididntaskforahandleyoutube ปีที่แล้ว +2

      This is not a dig, mate. Not at all. It's a total side point but it's interesting how Christians emphasize Agape as though it's superior to the other forms of love in Koine Greek. I would recommend the works of Dan Wallace. His books on ancient Greek are incredible. Check them out. Cheers

    • @Fighting_Fatigue_117
      @Fighting_Fatigue_117 ปีที่แล้ว

      I had trouble reading that but I think I get it.

    • @TheTarotDJ333
      @TheTarotDJ333 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @RobotWookiee I'm not a practicing Christian myself. Here in the United States, Christianity is the largest organized religion, and this organized religion has leeched into our political system specifically to remove rights from others through oppression. For example, access to abortion - there are states here who have now made it illegal for, say, an 11 year old (yes, some 11 year old girls get their period) rape victim to terminate the rape pregnancy - yes, even due to rap or incest - no exceptions. (The punishment is worse for the victim than the rapist). This is what's happening over here. All in the name of Christianity for that "soul" of shrimpy lookin' undeveloped cells growing in the girl because it will eventually turn into a baby. Nobody gives a crap about the REAL girl, though. They are forgetting that Freedom of Religion means exactly that - FREEDOM OF THEIR RELIGIOUS BELIEFS on the rest of us.
      But God Didn’t Say That: Religious Community Members Talk God and Abortion
      th-cam.com/video/8e26YL3-TbE/w-d-xo.html
      It's important that we remind Christians (*especially gun toting supremacists) what true Agape Love is -
      Martin Luther King on "Agape," a Form of Love at the Core of Nonviolent Resistance
      th-cam.com/video/-lKR0cV9zjo/w-d-xo.html
      We just needed some Jews to point out what that vibration is. :)
      Love the book recommendation - thanks!

  • @danielglavas
    @danielglavas ปีที่แล้ว +7

    It's amazing to me how we get these amazing, brilliant people on the show and then discover that they also love to watch Lex's podcast. Lex is hitting the bullseye with his way of doing things.

  • @kangsun201
    @kangsun201 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    One of my absolute favorite guests. I started watching on a whim, and I'm so glad I did. Fascinating.

  • @ianmacrae4963
    @ianmacrae4963 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Started with the Lex Clips, and then moved into the full podcast. What an interesting two hours. Such an unassuming but intensely interesting guest. And of course Lex does a masterful job hosting.

  • @mariaguzman1552
    @mariaguzman1552 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Lex your voice is so soothing to my soul. The way you feel love towards people is the way I feel about them. I am aware of the evil of some people, but when I meet people I see the best in them. I talk to everyone who crosses my path. If someone is negative, I say, they are having a bad day, and I just move on. We never know what a person is going through. Loved your guest.

  • @marilynaderson6568
    @marilynaderson6568 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    One more incredible interview. Two genuine people in a real quest of understanding.

  • @bentationfunkiloglio
    @bentationfunkiloglio ปีที่แล้ว +3

    One of the most practically useful interviews I’ve ever seen. Mr. Voss did a great job drawing Lex into the conversation more than is typical (for Lex).
    “What are we doing here?” Best question!

  • @physixtential
    @physixtential ปีที่แล้ว +132

    It is unreasonable that I can wake up at noon, plop my laptop on my chest, arbitrarily slap at my keyboard a couple times, and pure gold and diamonds come pooring out of the screen like this. Thank you for facilitating such a valuable transfer of knowledge and understanding. Also for your part, an especially strong showing of your own insights on these topics. Amazing job interogating Chris.

    • @grandmastaal
      @grandmastaal ปีที่แล้ว +6

      GET A JOB 😅 just kidding. Isn’t the world wonderful

    • @adampetros5878
      @adampetros5878 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Life is good

    • @bebechillonchillon
      @bebechillonchillon ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Wait 20 years and you will be able to consume the lex fridman podcast with a suppository.
      Easy and simple.
      And 100%memory retention

    • @Etcher
      @Etcher ปีที่แล้ว +1

      "You need to git up, git out and git something" but not before you watch/listen to all 2h 10m of this interview

    • @queenadarona4451
      @queenadarona4451 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I listen to these things while I’m sleeping.

  • @swissschoolofyoga
    @swissschoolofyoga ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I accidentally discovered Chris on TH-cam today and looked up Lex’ podcast in case he made an episode with Chris. So happy you did! I am here for extra intelligent questions, insights and just a brilliant conversation between two brilliant minds. Thank you ☺️

  • @0xBerto
    @0xBerto ปีที่แล้ว +22

    I watched his master class a good 7 times. Amazing person. So stoked to see him on here Lex 🙏

    • @Mase32
      @Mase32 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Where can I find his master class? Twat is it called?

    • @genesises
      @genesises ปีที่แล้ว

      @@Mase32 search for it here on YT lol

    • @ShaneKnockItOff
      @ShaneKnockItOff ปีที่แล้ว

      Its an app called MasterClass

  • @ZiziKarma
    @ZiziKarma ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Chris Voss is the GOAT of teaching negotiation! Great job Lex. I really respect how you conduct yourself in your interviews. You always ask such insightful questions. Lots of love

  • @ytube1715
    @ytube1715 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I love seeing Chris as a guest on all the best podcasts now. I have learned so much from this guy and his son Brandon. Now, I have the opportunity to learn the characteristics of what differentiates the smaller podcasts from the most successful ones. Lex proves that the real value in a great podcast does not come from the esthetics of the set or the marketing materials. The greatest value comes from conversations that provide new ideas. They have the ability to show you new perspectives of a person or subject that you had not seen.

  • @merybel5361
    @merybel5361 ปีที่แล้ว +61

    Thank you for bringing him on! I absolutely adored his book "Never split the difference".

    • @bigben42
      @bigben42 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      It’s such a great book, definitely helped me stand for myself

    • @raighnman179
      @raighnman179 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      i would give a least half to the us military and us policd offers

  • @simmerjones
    @simmerjones ปีที่แล้ว +3

    FASCINATING and fun, love the dynamic between Lex and Chris. I remember taking a negotiation course in school which focused on "Getting to Yes" for the course reading, will pick up Chris' book.
    Without oversimplifying, I love how a lot of the skills and success tactics come down to genuinely trying to understand the other person's position; again, not to oversimplify, but so many people just want to feel heard and understood. "A core of it is empathy".... YES.

  • @seanfitzgerald4207
    @seanfitzgerald4207 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    the world's best interviewer and the world's best negotiator walk into a podcast....

  • @PhillipeNover
    @PhillipeNover ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I read Never split the difference a few years ago. Amazing book with some crazy stories. I can’t wait to listen to this one!

  • @brandonboand
    @brandonboand ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Amazing conversation and pod cast!!! Thank you so very much. I’ve forwarded this to my son in hopes he’ll get enlightened and learn from the both of you wonderful human beings

  • @mjzenbar
    @mjzenbar ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This is a great interview. I listened on Spotify, and still have to watch again on TH-cam to watch the body language. Well done Lex

  • @dougewald243
    @dougewald243 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Lex Fridman - you are well on the road to establishing yourself as a National Treasure.
    Quite the accomplishment for one so young.
    Keep up the great work and please keep in mind the things that tend to derail raising stars.
    Sorry for the lecture.
    You have a great heart.

  • @juanse12k
    @juanse12k ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Yessss!!! Thank you for having Chris voss. I always try to listen to this dude wherever he is

  • @iangagel6027
    @iangagel6027 ปีที่แล้ว +298

    This whole conversation never stopped being interesting. One of my favorites already.

    • @echoes.of.alexandra
      @echoes.of.alexandra ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I agree. I've taught communication skills and am consistently learning and hearing new strategies to engage. Loved it!

    • @peantud12
      @peantud12 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      100%

    • @andrewferguson6901
      @andrewferguson6901 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Professional speaker speaking well is always a treat

  • @joeyp6056
    @joeyp6056 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Excellent! Chris is an amazing addition to this podcast. Can’t wait to listen

  • @keags3724
    @keags3724 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Just started reading Never Split the Difference. Excited for this interview!
    Thanks Lex 🙌🏼

  • @juanitasowders2354
    @juanitasowders2354 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Comfortable silence with someone is priceless for me.

  • @Allplussomeminus
    @Allplussomeminus ปีที่แล้ว +5

    His face in thumbnail: 🗿
    His energy: 🙂

  • @KeshabChapagain
    @KeshabChapagain ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I'm always impressed with the intellectual rigor and curiosity of the guests on this podcast. Thank you for providing such a valuable resource for learning.

  • @nancyfalcon2796
    @nancyfalcon2796 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I love it when Lex is relaxed and just enjoying the guest and having fun. This was a fascinating conversation.

  • @Glaither
    @Glaither ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This was a perfect interview with a perfect guest. Couldn't stop listening to this guy.

  • @KMELT
    @KMELT ปีที่แล้ว +9

    LOVE Chris Voss!! Discovered him via MasterClass and I’ll never forget how much impact he had on me. I apply his techniques across the board (work, healthcare, etc) and it works every time. It moved me to tears!! YAY LEX! Great guest. Diving right in ❤

  • @Zimboprenuer
    @Zimboprenuer ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is the book on my bed side ryt now. I did not hesitate to listen to the conversation

  • @idatong976
    @idatong976 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Fascinating... What a wise person Chris Voss is!! I love the fact that he puts "empathy" as the key to negotiate. Thanks Lex.

    • @semicedevine6918
      @semicedevine6918 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      it fits perfectly because lex is a huge fan of empathy as well, this podcast was more a convo about empathy than negotiating at some point

  • @joelbenn9336
    @joelbenn9336 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Thank you so much lex I literally just finished his book it was so hopeful! You are an unreal human

  • @ianmburke
    @ianmburke ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Lex never fails at bringing conversations with amazing people to light. All with love ❤️

  • @6reen6uy
    @6reen6uy ปีที่แล้ว +2

    You are probably one of my favorite people alive for all that’s worth to the world. Cool to be around to watch.

  • @OlleMattsson
    @OlleMattsson ปีที่แล้ว +5

    What a Friday treat! Thank you both!

  • @dangrayson6393
    @dangrayson6393 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    WOW Lex one of the best guest ever and you did a great job of letting him talk and not interupting.

  • @TimeTravelingSalesMan
    @TimeTravelingSalesMan ปีที่แล้ว +3

    im suppose to be working right now...smh.... but im loving this convo too much.... F U Lex..LOL

  • @scottishpensioner2447
    @scottishpensioner2447 ปีที่แล้ว

    This video popped up on my feed. Fantastic. Chris Voss talks in normal English, cutting straight to the point. Speaking clearly about human nature sounds easy but is the most difficult thing to do. An amazing intellect.

  • @briana171994
    @briana171994 ปีที่แล้ว +39

    This CD is very calming th-cam.com/users/postUgkxzpa8CIfZcihW4Z0F_ja0QF3W9KIatrsq the first meditation focuses on breathing, the second guides you through the Buddhist metta bhavana--loving kindness to all, and the third is a meditation to be used when walking. him is originally from Scotland, so there is a little accent to his voice, but it is very soothing and not at all distracting. If you are a beginner to meditation, this CD will walk you through all the steps of relaxing and breathing as well as sending out the positive thoughts of love and kindness that will be returned to you. We have several CD's, but this one is a favorite that we choose most often.

  • @TheKiddIII
    @TheKiddIII ปีที่แล้ว

    This is the best podcast and interview I've ever seen.

  • @thejuiceweasel
    @thejuiceweasel ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Awesome guest. I've read Chris' book and apply a lot of his techniques on a daily basis, in private life as well as in my job as customer support. The great thing is, they're easy to use, but they aren't manipulative. Using labeling with people you like is a great way to bring out good emotions in them, and an even better way to dispel bad ones.

    • @superbarnie
      @superbarnie ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Which techniques do you find useful? I read this guys book and unfortunately I really found most of it to be of limited usefulness. I really don’t understand the whole thing where he says that if you get someone to say “that’s right” then suddenly they’ll do whatever you want them to do. It doesn’t make any sense. And the “calibrated questions” concept makes no sense either. Like how is repeatedly saying “how am I supposed to do that?” going to convince anyone of anything? A lot of his concepts just seems kinda hokey to me and he backs them up with outlandish anecdotes that don’t really apply to daily life.

    • @thejuiceweasel
      @thejuiceweasel ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@superbarnie I guess most important is to not see them as magic words that make the other person your puppet. Appealing to _their_ sense of empathy is key to all of it. Does it feel bad to get yelled at? Yeah, so make them realize what they're doing. Are they asking something unreasonable? Make them think about how it is even humanly possible to do so. These techniques are designed to make _them_ feel better, to make _them_ stop and think about the situation. And if you've been acting honestly, chances are high that they'll give you the time of the day. Mirrors and calibrated (open ended) questions are good tools for that, but labels are something else. Labeling anger or sadness opens people up, and labeling pride and joy boosts these emotions even more.

  • @ssaller45
    @ssaller45 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Amazing interview! Lex is a master at reading his guests and asking deep questions. Thank you!! Keep them coming.

  • @SeeKelso
    @SeeKelso ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This is my favorite Lex Fridman Podcast I have ever listened to. Great job Chris and Lex!😎💯🧬🧠🥇

  • @samienaamien7038
    @samienaamien7038 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I lost you when you made Irael the good guys!!!

  • @fullmdog
    @fullmdog ปีที่แล้ว +5

    “I’m okay with you getting yours, just don’t take it out of my hide” - exceptional quote

  • @aaronlee247
    @aaronlee247 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This dude is excellent! Going to buy his book - One of the most interesting people Lex has ever spoken to. Real Genuiness about him - straight talker.

  • @farcenter
    @farcenter ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I think empathy is a word that we need to get under consensus definition. There are two ways people use empathy as a term, one to describe an emotional process, and the other to describe an intellectual process. In some of the literature I've read these are referred to as emotional empathy and cognitive empathy. For many people in many situations they have overlap so they can appear as one thing, but they do not always load onto each other either situationally or between individuals. Emotional empathy is "bottom up", that is the emotions of another person are felt and personally embodied, and thus provide understanding of the other. Cognitive empathy is top down, that is it is a process of arriving at an understanding of another person's perspective through thinking through it with knowledge of the world and people. A test as to the effectiveness or accuracy of either strategy can be weather you are able to predict the desires for further thoughts of another individual based on either process. I'm almost completely certain that when Sam refers to empathy and it not being important, he's referring to the emotional empathy version. The example here of Putin is an example of cognitive empathy.

    • @freshmojito
      @freshmojito 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Very good point, thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. I might have spotted another difference in Sam's and Lex's view on empathy. Sam seems to be talking about an ideal scenario, a homo oeconomicus or goal which we as humans should strive for to live a better life. Lex and his guest seem to be talking more about the realities of life: if both you and your negotiation partner are a bit irrational, because that's just what humans are, then empathy even just on one side could probably improve this situation. Whereas reason might not improve it, because both sides would have to be reasonable.

  • @vinikak8214
    @vinikak8214 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I listened for the first 15 mins and went to get my 9-year-old son ready for the school. He was in a bad mood, didn’t want to get up, and my husband was already annoyed and angry and yelling at him and getting even more resistance in response. Thanks to these first 15 mins, instead of trying to persuade or push or pull, I thought of what he might be feeling at that moment and said to my crying son: “You want to be treated with respect even if it’s a bad morning for you and you are getting late”. That worked like a magic! I added two more questions about his feelings- and he became not just calm, but happy and focused and got quickly ready for the school.

  • @Nathe_geo
    @Nathe_geo ปีที่แล้ว +2

    1:10:18
    “…accommodator… I hope this works out…”
    *queue the intense nose breathing

  • @EyesnBrody
    @EyesnBrody 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I can totally relate to Chris's statement "Integrity is my currency "
    As a former law enforcement officer in the 90's I find that it nails it.

  • @antetesija3033
    @antetesija3033 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Love both of these guys. Both had and still have much influence on my life. Bravo Lex!

  • @rumckinley
    @rumckinley ปีที่แล้ว +1

    @15:00 The WAY Chris acknowledged the belief DOES put them on the same side, energetically. And he’s so right, you can’t fake it, or tell someone you have been in their shoes when you haven’t, but he is still practicing “alignment”.

  • @jodiplocher860
    @jodiplocher860 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Voss tells story about memorable conversations where he helped people fix their own situation by saying a few words. Lex says “I don’t like goodbyes.” Voss; “seems total, right?” does exactly the same thing with Lex. Hahahaha. Can’t help but listen and make people better.

  • @wickedcode007
    @wickedcode007 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Chris Voss is one insightful human.

  • @reeveetalk1907
    @reeveetalk1907 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Lex, you’re getting all the right guests! Please have on Peter Zeihan next!

  • @louisavonweiler6594
    @louisavonweiler6594 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Chriss Voss has been interviewed a lot. This is with out a doubt THE BEST! Good job Lex Fridman 😊

  • @the0nlytrueprophet942
    @the0nlytrueprophet942 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Chris has been an amazing influence on me in sales. Great guest Lex!

  • @juicebox86
    @juicebox86 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Took Chris's Masterclass and it was very interesting. Really had me wanting to learn more about the subject of tactical empathy and strategy of negotiations. Top-notch guest.

  • @Fighting_Fatigue_117
    @Fighting_Fatigue_117 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I feel like my depression is holding me hostage.

    • @jonathanalpart7812
      @jonathanalpart7812 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Where do you and your depression want to be in ten years? What does it want?

    • @Fighting_Fatigue_117
      @Fighting_Fatigue_117 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I'm on my way to the hospital today, my sister has convinced me to go. She's a brilliant sister and I don't know where I'd be without her.
      Thankyou guys.

    • @your_local_gacha_girl5077
      @your_local_gacha_girl5077 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Hope you're ok 🙏🏿

    • @andymurray5045
      @andymurray5045 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I hope you're doing better buddy

  • @kebecois71
    @kebecois71 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love these blue collar guys with wicked smaaarrrtttsss

  • @thomasnicolle8339
    @thomasnicolle8339 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Watching his masterclass at the start of my sales career was one of the greatest things I’ve ever done

  • @KhalilSaddiq
    @KhalilSaddiq 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Such a great interview! I love the way Chris Voss communicates, he is an old-school throwback, with high integrity, and an intelligent, charming, funny, and amazing teacher, he is just remarkable!

  • @kellysmith7511
    @kellysmith7511 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Hi Lex, really enjoyed this podcast, thank you. Sometime could you please do a podcast with Prof Sam Vaknin? I think he would have lots to add, he has taught all over the world including Russia.

    • @rickrichter5068
      @rickrichter5068 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      The guy actually introduced the term Narcissistic Personality Disorder

    • @kellysmith7511
      @kellysmith7511 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@rickrichter5068 Yes I think so

    • @kellysownytube1599
      @kellysownytube1599 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yes Lex, Please get Sam Vaknin on!

  • @rickhughesprints
    @rickhughesprints ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for giving the guests room to speak. So many interviewers seem to have to do most of the talking. When that happens, I click away. Intelligent, softly guiding, stable interview style. Thanks!

  • @cavacino
    @cavacino ปีที่แล้ว +4

    can anyone agree Chris Voss sounds sooo much like George Carlin.............. omg its creeping me out a bit..... amazing interview

    • @SocialStoicYouTube
      @SocialStoicYouTube ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes I can hear it even the laugh

    • @J5L5M6
      @J5L5M6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      New Yorkers...

  • @benvalverde5260
    @benvalverde5260 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thoroughly enjoyed this interview, not a dull moment, my attention was captured from beginning to end. 👏

  • @susanrichardson1176
    @susanrichardson1176 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This was my first with Lex Fridman. I love Chris Voss and learned so much from his masterclass which helped me in business and in relationships. It’s wonderful also to discover Lex. I really like his calm demeanor which leads to a peaceful thought- provoking discussion. Subscribed and looking forward to watching more.

  • @jonathan-qs1xd
    @jonathan-qs1xd ปีที่แล้ว +3

    this was one of my favourite chats, thank you lex and chris

  • @KtotheL
    @KtotheL ปีที่แล้ว

    I can't wait to watch this one again. ( And again and again and again and again )

  • @dianedean4170
    @dianedean4170 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Great conversation, Lex and Chris!
    The art of navigating with people is very layered, and you both illuminate and illustrate the choreography and complexities with intelligence and humor.
    I believe staying in tune with your own values is an important core directive. ✨️

  • @notokek
    @notokek 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Mr Voss has taught me how to communicate and be a better listener, which improved (and keeps improving) my life and life of people around me
    Thank you lex and Chris, have a good day

  • @johnthierfelder2180
    @johnthierfelder2180 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    CHRIS VOSS ❤ Great dude!!

  • @spikespiegel8642
    @spikespiegel8642 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    What an insightful podcast. Took a lot of notes and book recommendation from it. Lex you are truly a gift to me and millions like me. I never knew about this amazing fella, Chris Voss and his talent in Negotiation. Thankyou to both of you to talk and spread your experience. I am grateful for both of you.
    Lex you don't know but your podcast are truly the only spark of fire left in my life right now, I know I am going through my tough days and I have immense hope and confidence in myself that I will rise once again. You are helping a lot.
    Thankyou Lex.
    Yours Truly Pruthviraj,
    Vadodara, Gujarat, India

  • @matthewmcclure1364
    @matthewmcclure1364 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    1:00:35 Some of the best wisdom on TH-cam, right here at this time stamp. “Articulating deeply what the other side feels is transformative for both people involved in a process.” So true. I do mediations and this is the key feature of any successful mediation. People have to be willing to grow, and they have to be willing to try and see the other side’s point of view.

  • @hessex1899
    @hessex1899 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    My Dad, may he rest in peace, was a hostage negotiator. Listening to this guy is like going back in time. Thank you, Lex.

  • @usernametaken4106
    @usernametaken4106 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Solid one, can't wait to hear about Mike Ehrmantrauts origin story

    • @USmetallist
      @USmetallist ปีที่แล้ว

      do tell more

    • @haywardjeblomey6505
      @haywardjeblomey6505 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      you're goddamn right lol

    • @usernametaken4106
      @usernametaken4106 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@USmetallist his a fictional character from the tv-shows breaking bad and better call Saul. A hard boiled ex cop who later became a capable problem solver working for a cartel. They sound the same, got similar manners and ways of rational, if you said Voss is a younger version of Mike it would be entirely possible to believe it

  • @phinsup402
    @phinsup402 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Finally!!!!!!! Thank you Lex ☺️. The ones I had wished JRE had on but never did. Much happier now for a deeper convo with Lex.
    Please have Robert Lanza on and talk about Biocentrism 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏plz plz!!!!!!

  • @benjaminemmanuel6959
    @benjaminemmanuel6959 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    I don't believe in luck I believe in trust and
    understanding. I've been trading forex for some
    months now and I've made good amount of money
    of over $78,100 with her simple strategies of
    trading. Meeting with stacy has been one of my best
    experience these past few months and am expecting
    more withdraws from her

    • @judithnworah3991
      @judithnworah3991 ปีที่แล้ว

      I have incurred so much losses trading on my own..I trade well on demo. But I think the real market is manipulated. Can anyone help me out or at least tell me what I'm doing wrong

    • @mumeenyakub2246
      @mumeenyakub2246 ปีที่แล้ว

      Trading with an expert is the best strategy for newbies and busy investors who have little or no time to monitor trade

    • @shirleymartha9848
      @shirleymartha9848 ปีที่แล้ว

      Then, how can someone get a professional manager that is trustworthy and legit they are hard to find this days

    • @felixeikeartur7911
      @felixeikeartur7911 ปีที่แล้ว

      I think | heard that name before, I stumbled
      upon one of her clients testimonies here some

    • @huanlixia4446
      @huanlixia4446 ปีที่แล้ว

      Wow I'm amazed you mentioned and
      recommended expert Mrs Stacy Griffin.
      Thought I'm the only one who enjoying her
      services.

  • @mrloveandgratitude
    @mrloveandgratitude ปีที่แล้ว

    Life is better with Lex. I feel bad for those who have yet to discover this amazing resource.

  • @kailenpiardi2721
    @kailenpiardi2721 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I remember specifically you and Kotkin talking and you asked him what makes freedom and he said, Institutions, Lex" and I will remember that for a long time

  • @bryallen11
    @bryallen11 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Utterly fantastic!!! Thank you lex!!! Amazing guest!!

  • @ericgoetsch1650
    @ericgoetsch1650 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thanks for another banger, Lex!

  • @Sentientdreamer
    @Sentientdreamer ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This wide ranging and fearless conversation and maybe negotiation of words, ideas and feelings was brilliant! ❤️

  • @richardmori1389
    @richardmori1389 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Chris Voss is always fascinating to listen to.

  • @victorcreed3
    @victorcreed3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    "Never Split the Difference" is a fantastic read! Important to point out thought, that the concept of "Labeling" was originally created by Marshall Rosenberg, and was promoted through his book, "Nonviolent Communication" - another excellent read.